
1 minute read
Maturedtoperfection
from 2016-11 Adelaide
by Indian Link
Tell-talesigns don't lie about your real age
BY LP AYER
Iamheadingcowards achronological milestone before cbe end of this year.
My family wants to celebrate thisevent and announce co thewholeworldmy age thatI have zealously guarded as my very personaldarn I an,notoverlyenthusiastic about theirplan,but,acthesametime,do nor wantcobe apartypooper.
1Yf),reticence to disclose my age has been bequeathed tome bymy father. one of bis fourchildreneversucceededin finding our their exact dare of birth.There wasno birth certificate officially issuedinhisera. 1have noofficial birch certificate either, having been bornin pre-Independencedays in asmall village. The cuscomtherewas to inform the village 'vmnsifof one'schild's birch, for him co record in adog-eared register. Soit was not difficultco followmy father's traditionin dodgingmy children's queries co find ommy DoB.
MoseIndians have twobirthdaysevery year-an actual DoB accordingtoEnglish calendar,and their 'star'birthday. Since the latter is arnoving target occurring on a differentdateeachyear,my childrenhave never been able to work ourmy DoB.
Andnow thewhole world will know soon.Infact,half theworldalready knows asI have todeclare this co faceless persons atthe other end of cl1ephone every time Imake any enquiry of a financial nature. lndeed,you disclosemuchelse as well,like your dog'sname andotheridentifiers.So much for privacy!
Howevermuch onemay trynot co reveal one's age,somecell-talesigns silently and stealthilycreep up on youwith advancing years. Any amount of standingin front of amirror rnuttering "Oh, not bad"won't minimise theravages thatagehas wreaked upon you. Itis just an exercise in delusion like myyoungishlooking picture on this page.
As the yearsadvance,greyhair aces as adarkremindercliatyour colourfulyouth is adistantmemory.Criticalsenses like hearing and seeing fade away. But counter-measures are available. Glasses not onlyhelp to regain sight, they can alsobe used as afashionstatement.But stickinghearing aids in your ears scilJhas astigma.The
'neverstoop toconquer' attitude of younger days may continue coprevail, but astoop seamlessly conquers the spinal cord.

Jf only apharma company coudl develop aViagrafor vertebra,what a boon it wouldbe for my bowing backbone!
Our fridge tooserves as acoolreminderofmy growing old gracefully?
Fridgemagnets from variouseateries cl1atonce adorned its door are now replaced wicl1 onesfrom medical specialists. In fact, they hold the doorin place. The bedside cabinet is bursting with capsules of various colours.The kitchen pantry toohas changedits look wicl1new fad healcl1 foodsreplacing my once favourite cakemix and cream bikk.ies.