BANG ON POINTLESS

is palpable You see the first girl transform in front of your eyes. You only see this girl prancing like a kindergarten kid to get attention.

Where i s the plot to suggest there is a simmering chemistry between Katrina and Hrithik ready to erupt in the midst of all the blazing guns and screeching cars? Somewhere tucked away in this glamorous mess there must be a plot that you are expected to spend a good two and a half hours searching for. All we see is a cocky Hrithik infusing an extra dose of bravado into his jewelthief hero's role. This is Hrithik's loudest performance since Sooraj Barjatya's Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon.

But I digress. Bang Bang is not about the finer points ofthe cinematic expression For that check out this week's other release Haider. Bang Bang is about smooth surfaces, beautiful faces, well-toned bodies and locations that are chosen for no rhyme or reason except to beat the next Big Bollywood Blockbuster from getting there.

It's not just the finances that are squandered in making the film look scenically adventurous (ma ybe to hide the bottomless pit of nothingness that such bang-bang actioners aim for). The criminal wastage of acting talent makes you wish there were laws preventing actors like Pavan Malhotra, Vikram Gokhale, AnkurVikal, Danny Denzongpa, Kanwaljeet and Deepti Naval from signing on for these films that presumably pay well.

The best performances come from two actors in cameo parts playing waiters in two different restaurant scenes, one of them in the aforementioned Pizza Hut sequence. The other is in a classy eatery where Hrithik cocks his eyebrow knowledgeably and identifies the red wine as foreign, only to be politely snubbed by the waiter who says it's local wine.

This little scene sums up the wannabe spirit of Bang Bang. It aims to be a clever slick remake of the Tom Cruise vehicle Knight & Day. It ends up borrowing all the absurdities from the original and burying them under tons of idiotic posturing by a leading man should've known better and a leading lady who is happy speaking her Hindi lines with a British accent.

Despite the enormous resources, Bang Bang doesn't seem to get it right The action is motivated by an urge to impress rather than as a part ofthe plot.