MINDLESS, CLUELESS CRIME PORN

Gunday

STARRING: Ranveer Singh, Arjun Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, lrrfan Khan

DIRECTOR:

~

X'/''r

Ali Abbas Zafar

Seriously, this is the funniest Yashraj film in the distinguished banner's range of existence Tragically the humour is mostly unintended Li ke the gaffes and boo-boos that litter the decked-up garbage masquerading as a pseudo-historical depiction of Bangl adeshi migrants in Kolkata post the 1971 Bangladeshi war of liberation

Two boys, Bikram and Bal a, crawl across the border i nto Kolkata and become some kind of messianic outlaws Shamelessl y, the film g l orifies a life of crime to a level of embarrassing exultati on until we see the two "heroes" (ha ha) constantly on the run from the "the law" (as represented by the insanely sane and sensib le lrrfan)

But Bikram and Bal a, who grow up to be two blobs of brain l ess brawn played by Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor, are no ordinary criminals on the run They run in slow-motion sometimes shi rtless most-times brainless, their biceps and 6-packs glistening in hairless glory They are the Milkha Singhs of the internet generation, meant to eulogize wanton materialism by flaunting their physicality without inhibition or reservat ion

They are the greedy generation from befor e greed was invented

Gunday (Gun Day? Gun De? Gande???) is the kind of subverted cinema that reduces every incident, historical or fictional, to a dramatic distress After the fairly impressive opening that seems to be shot and edited by a different director, there's no narrative stru cture, only a series of clumsily punctuated episodes meant to spotlight a kind of heightened yearning for a life freed of moral expectations and obligations.

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The two leads think they are cool when in fact the scri pt highlights thei r stupi dity in the clumsy conflicts of interests when they fight Chests waxed in the 1970s when wax was used only to make idol s.

A major portion of the narrative is devoted to the triangular courtship with Bikram and Bala wooing Kolkata's hottest cabaret dancer (w h o isn't what she seems, but shhhhh!) Nandita (Priyanka Chopra) first meets her two sl eazy suitors in a l oo when they have their dhotis hitched up to their thighs to relieve themse lves

Yes, you heard right That's the acme of below-the -belt humour in this downright absurd and offensive crime drama Priyanka Chopra's character is partly seductress partly Mata Hari and wholly preposterous in trying to be many things i n a script that isn't sure of what it wants to be

Just why an actress of Priyanka's calibre shou ld agree to be part of a film so wobbly and wei rd is beyond comprehension Perhaps she really saw this film as an authentic chronicle of the wages of the Bangladesh war There is no end to how optimistic an actress can get when she puts her heart where her mind shoul d be and mistakes kitsch for art.

As for the two leading men it's a tossup between Ranveer Singh and Arjun Singh as to who ha ms it more to the flashy finale where they both make a desperate run for their l ives: we do the same in our own far less exciting wor ld outside the rid i culous rea lm that this

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artificial film, l it up w ith fake bon homie and bogus bravura, tries to create for ou r entertainment.

Th is is not the first time this fi l m's director has made a royal hash of a potentially promising premise He had messed up big-time in Mere Brother Ki Dulhan. The damage done in Gunday is far more ominous and dan gerous

It exto ls the i ll icit presence of acrossthe-borders migrants and attempts to sanction them with a kind of l egitimacy, m u ch in the same way that it glori fies the two scummy protagonists as heroes of our times rather, their t imes

The film unfolds in Kolkata circa 1973 Peri odicity is showi l y generated through a poster of the Big B's Zanjeer here and a snatch of R.D Burma n's Keh doon tumhe ya chup rahoon from Deewaar there Beyond these the film doesn't make any pertinent point of periodicity

Of course there are Priyanka's low- cut b louses ending many inches above her waist in a neat bow

Alas, Priyanka's blouses are the only neatly tied -up component in this anarchic wor l d of guns goons, guffaws and gaffes. l f l was a Bengal i I'd be seriously offended by the lou d caricatura l ambi ence created in the name of Bangla culture

Of course the Howrah bridge l ooms up on location and as studio-props every once in a while But t h e astounding amount of garish colours that Ani l Mehta's cinematography is compelled to shoot just numbs the senses

The dialogues range from the strange to the very strange.

At one point wh il e ki lling a friend -turned traitor Arjun Kapoor (making more faces in every frame than Sridevi did in her entire career) says, "Never trust a Benga l i who doesn't like football''. Huh???

Gunday is a dumbed-down vers ion ofYash Chopra's classic Deewaar where the boy from the world of poverty grew upto a l ife of g l amorised crime There was a strong matri archal figure i n Deewaar frowning deeply in disapprova l of the anti-hero's anti-heroic antics.

In Gunday, there are no moral obstacles as Bikram and Bal a whoop it up in org i astic rit u als of disorganised crime Th ere is on ly the very talented Saurabh Shukla looking embarrassed uncertai n and defeated trying to te l l the heroes they've l ost the plot. He probably saw what the makers of this film couldn't.

Gunday wastes acting talent as though it was ava il able at discount rates The very talented Victo r Bannerjee and Pankaj Tri pathi show up in wa l k- on parts and are hastily packed off to focus on the two studs on steroids in the 70s sl itheri n g in slippery motions across the rai l way tracks stealing koy/a from the carriages l r rfan's voiceover tries to keep the plot together But brilliant actors have their l i mitations too

SUBHASH K. JHA

Chitra's Classes

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