resents

Christmas is a time to be generous, so here is a leisurely list of gifts fit for po/lies, princes and PMs

However, a red truck, apart from being a colour mismatch with his philosophy, is not a toy befitting the Lodge

:' P. BY LP AVER

Idon't know about other Stare capital ciries, bur in Adelaide we are reminded of Christmas approaching as early as the first week of November when one of the city's biggest pageant rolls down irs main thoroughfares. lr is eid1er to be lp d1e locals plan ilieir shopping strategy in advance, or for retailers to raid our credit cards sooner than others.

With our two children having grown out of the 'can -we- have-a peek' stage, we now need to ponder over presents for only our two grandchiklten. Lucky, in a sort of way. So with some shopping time spared, I indulged in a w him sical exercise of what would be on the wish- list of those who appear, at the Aick of a button, on the slim screen in our lounge rooms around dinnertime. Who else can you think of fuse, other than the captain of our ship for th e next d1ree yea rs? Initially ir seemed so easy to cboose something for this acrion man who can sprint, swin1 and surf. Ir may be tokenistic to buy a bike or boogie board since he will have a stack of the m. Having proven his skill in purring out bush fires, a fire truck may be a fitting present. In hi s current position he will be called upo n to puc our scrub fires wimin his party ranks or on ilie national and international arenas. However, a red truck, apart from being a colour mismatch with his philosophy, is n ot a toy befitting me Lodge. o bloke in his \Vildesr dream will be eager to receive a letter from bis mother-in- law. Bur not this gu y, whose mother-in-law is d1e Q u een's rep io Oz. Short in name but not in stature, be would dear ly love to get one inviting him to form d1e goverrunent. Bur such an invite may take another three ye ar s or more in the coming. He may not receive one at all if he gets d1e same treatment be mered out to hi s previous leaders. Until d1e Still shines on his patch, me best gift for him will be a hank of solar panels so that he may not receive or be caJJed electricity bill Zip. A n1etre- long zip is the ideal presem for the one who delivered a 22- minute speech, sounding like a victor after badly losing me electoral race, to shut b is trap. lt will best complemen t d1e ' will mis guy ever stop' badge earned in a TV debate. Firringly be ended his last Parliamentary speech wid1, 'gotta zip!' Rudderless, once again

On second tboughrs, h e may be happy ro get a coupl e of leaky (ab)boats built at some Jakarta backyard. H is plans ro buy every rickety raft from Indonesia having been torpedoed by his Bambang buddy, a couple of rusty boats will be a welcome present ro be proud ly berd1ed at me Kirribilli waterfront. The Opposition leader may even dip into his ParLiamentary aUowance to gift one U boar to taunt him on some policy u - turns.

For our own Ade laide girl, who once beld court in Canberra, a seat on the State's High Court may be a long- term drean1. The grey wig rhat goes with mat job will he lp ro cover her 'ranga' hair. In rhe meantime, a ser of shatp knives for tbe kitchen bench at J's $2million seaside mansion wiU do, since me one she used earlier did not finish d1e job and d1e v ictim came back, only brieA y though! More d1an anyone above, d1e person who deserves a good gift from Santa is a pensioner- prince wbo Lives nqt far from me Old Man's North Pole. Having recendy reached the pension age of 65 without d oing a da)?S work for which he was destined at birth, this (bonny prince) C harlie has now gai ned the dubious honour o f being me longest waiting heir ro the d1.rone. A replica throne dropped t hrough the chimne y at his pal.ace Claren ce House will be Santa's gift o f the year for this new grandfather, before hi s grandson stakes his claim. A crown, even an im itarion one, will b e a bonus.

Ador ning his crown wim n othing but a blue turban, the soft-spoke n Sardar who presides over a billion people c ould do with some other colour for a change. Bur what colour? Wid1 ilie elec tio n battle soon to begin, white may be see n as a sign of surrender and b la ck a sure sign

A metre- long zip is the ideal present for the one who delivered a 22-minute speech, sounding like a victor after bad ly losing the electoral race, to shut his trap of mourning, anticipating a loss of me race So stickin g wim blue will be the Man's preferred cboice, banking on his reserved temperament.

Mo(d)ivated stro ngly to become the next prime minister, this Gujarati generalissi m o will serde for nothing but the Delhi 'd11d1al, while a certain mother will be wishing drnt her son gets it as sort o f famil y's bin l1rjghr.

Oops, I have indulged in d 1is fanciful exercise for too Jong lt is rime to tl1ink of Chrissie p ressies for m y gra ndkids. Gotta zip!

Season's greetings to aJ1 readers A loving fanuly is d1e best present anyone can w ish for.