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What happens when the lure of easy money becomes an insatiable and unstoppable desire for wealth

job. Nita was a genius at making money. She called it a lucky streak, and promised d1at she could solve SaL'lita's problems too.

She stood beside the w indow and gazed out at the landscaped garden and colourful blooms. Serene and beautiful, it was the ideal locati o n in wh ich co sit and contemplate her life, meandering through the pathways that she had chosen , and to that all- crucial moment. Sanita was an addict and like all addicts she had remained in denial for over a decade. During that time she saw her marriage faU apart, her chi ldren lose faith and her friends disperse from her Life Of course, she regretted her every act and her every lie. She would always regret those, but de.spire the many losses she had brought about in her life , she had been unab le co take contro l.

Then o ne day, feeling lost and desperate, she had stood at the edge of her fifth storey balcony and looked at the concreted ground below. It welcomed her, and it o ffered her a conclusion. Then just as she prepared herself for the jump, t\VO question s arose ,._,;thin her: What were the odds chat she might survive? And if she did, what were the odds that she would recover complete ly? Bus y working out the odds, that decisive momenr to jump passed, and Sanita realised that she really did not want co leave this earth, at least, not as a failure.

And for the first time in her entire Life, she also admitted diar she truly had a problem because even at the moment when she was end.i.ng her life, she was betting on the odds.

Careful.I)' she had climbed back o mo the balcony and, sitting down in an oucdoor chair, she spent d1e next three hours contemplating on all that bad happened. Like the pages of a book, she flipped through each and every moment of her life.

Her birth had been welcomed, her chi ldhood had been happy, a nd her ro ud1 was joyo us. Everytb.i.ng about that phase of her life was normal and beautiful.

At 21, Sanita married the man of her dreams. He was everydung that she had wamed in a partner - handsome, funny and generous.

Everyone loved him, even the kids in her family. They had a wonderful six mond1s which she treasured even today. If one thing lacked in their lives, ir was the freedom to spend what tbey wanted and d1e liberty to stay where they liked. Financially they were comfortab le, but nor rich. With bod1 of thern working fulltime the y had managed ro buy a lovely home, small buc quaint and close to her family.

Sanira had always seen her mother dependant on her father for ever)Ttbi.ng. He made aU the decisions, and whenever mere was budgeting to be done, it was always her mother who made the sacrifices. \'(Thile SaL'lita and her husband combined their income, she maintained d1e liberty of having her own account and she retained the freedom ro shop as she wanced. One by one, she bad decorated each room in their new home and d1ere had been just rwo more rooms to go. One of d1em was a nursery.

In tbe seventh month of their marriage, Sanita found out diat she \Vas pregnant. The initial joy was soo n overr idden by their financial worry. She ·wou ld have to give up work and d1e m o ment she did that, d1ey would have to sell rneir home. She was not prepared ro make that sacri lice.

She kept the pregnancy a secret from her husband for a week, while she debated on her action. At the end of rhat week she had come ro a decision. The baby must go. Nothing was ready for it. She and her husb and had planned a world trip which would have ro have been pm on hold She had also just bought her first car. It would have to be resold. They would not be able to educate the child .i.n a prjvare school, nor offer it all d1e luxuries they had planned for it.

On tbe morning of the seventh day, she gave her husband the news. He was ecstatic, but d1at euphoria lasted just a few moments before !us countenance turned to one of worry. His look gave her d1e courage to give him her second piece of news This she relayed as a decision. They would nor be keeping rhis baby as d1ey were both young, and could have anod1er baby in a few yea rs as planned. While her husband did nor verbally agree, he did n ot disagree eid1er. And the relief o n his face convinced Sanira d1ar she had taken the right decision.

A week later, their life had returned to normal. There was no baby and d1ere was no conversation about it. They worked each week and saved each monch. A year later rhey had cleared the car loan The second yea r they had saved enough to go on their trip B y the third year, they had sold their home and bought a larger one. This increased mortgage meant chat d1ey had to postpose having a c.luld for another couple of years. As she turned 31, d1ey were in a position to think about starring a fanuly, but it srill meanc that Sa11ita would have to return ro work, leaving d1eir baby in childcare. I t was d1is pl an that nnnerved her. le was also at thi s ti.rue that she befriended a woman at her new

And she was right On d1eir first ou ting together, Sanita had made $50,000. i\foner that would make her year- long marenuty leave, wori-y- free On d1eir seconding outing just three weeks later, she made another $25,000. The o utings became a regular 'all girls' event. A year later she fell pregnant agam. Two years la ter she had her second chil d Through it all she successfully mainrained her two lives.

Her husband never once questioned the ' bonuses ' that she was frequently receiving, but still she set up another secret bank account and began depositing the funds in there. Not once did her husb and de lve in rhe derails, and not once did he pick up diat she had become a gambler.

The lucky streak .l asted nearly ten year s, dur.ing which s he m oved from the racing circuit to casinos, and was now weU and truly hooked onro internet gambling. They were getting so far ahead in d1eir paymencs d1at her husband even spoke of early retirement.

Then just as if the skies had moved and the stars had shifted, that luck y streak ended. In the hope of a recovery she bega n to draw money from her secret stash. \Vhen that was exhausted, she began drawing on d1eir joint account. Thar too was emptied. Still hopeful, Sanita began using the mortgage payments. It was hard work juggling money around, bur she man aged for another nine months. She increased the home Joan by forging her husband's signature. She wou ld have been able to get away with it again, bad d1e kids not overheard a call to the bank and repeated it to 'Daddy' that evening. By die time Siuuta's husband returned from work rhe next day, he had found our everything. Eve r y desperate act and every fraudulent deed!

When he did not express either anger or horror, and instead blamed lumself for not being acti vely involved in the financial aspects of their life, Sanita knew the meaning of shame. When the bank foreclosed on their loan, she experienced the meaning of pain. And when her children told her that they hated her for making them lose their home, she knew

''As she turned 31, they were in a position to think about starting a family, but it still meant that Sanita would have to return to work, leaving their baby in childcare

''tl1e meaiung of degradari o n.

They moved in to a small aparanenr and the children even had to move schools Sanirn too had to change her job, ro a nonfii1ancial institution. Through it aU her husband blamed on.ly himself. Had he blamed her, life would have been bearable Had he yelled, her days would have been to lerable and had he mid her tl1at he hated her, her man~age would have been workable.

He did none of these; instead he found a second job and she had sought an o utlet on the balcony. Ir was at the balcon y that she had that Lifechanging moment.

She admitted herself into the cli11ic in which she now resided. She declared herself as a gambler and she promised ber kids rhat she would ne ver let d1em down again.

The recovery would be long, the journey hard and rhe experience unpleasant, bur she would succeed because the one person who sh ould have walked away, who was justified to leave her, never did.