On fiscal cliffs and gold-plated glitz

From fiscal cliffs to Mayan myths, a look at popular jargon in the media recently

Rich’, will expectant parents surf baby name portals for words with such initials? Yes sir, I bet!

BY LP AYER

Phew! Our world became doubly safe and secure in January after averting two disasters in a matter of ten days. The much-feared Mayan meltdown myth did not materialise on December 21. Perhaps the Mayan gods did not want to ruin my birthday: a kindred gesture towards a fellow Indian on this side of the globe?

With the physical planet now safe, the fiscal world was pulled back from the edge, inches before it went over. The eleventh-hour drama played out at the White House was redolent of a climax scene in a Hollywood blockbuster.

‘Fiscal Cliff’. The powerful phrase has been repeated a million times over in every form of media! Who coined the jargon - a clever copywriter in an ad agency? If only he had followed Shah Rukh Khan’s lead and trademarked his creation, he could have made millions. Mumbai’s multi-millionaire movie mogul has written to the Government’s Registry to trademark his initials ‘SRK’, to stop others using them to promote their products and make money. If he succeeds, will he run into strife with another of filmdom’s SRK - Siddarth Roy Kapur, husband of vivacious Vidya Balan? Poor Vidya may end up with two SRK partners – the screen version and the home brand.

If the trademark trend catches on, another ‘SR’ celebrity (Sachin Ramesh) Tendulkar may pile a few more tons of moolah beside his marquee of fast cars in his fourstorey Bandra mansion. Sensing SR seems to stand for ‘Super

Even as the Fiscal Cliff cast jitters on the world markets, it was all glitter down under as the jargon jangling the airwaves was ‘gold plated’. Our Prime Minister used this pet mantra to tarnish the grid operators’ greed to push up power prices. Wonder if the power coming down the ‘goldplated’ lines shines brighter than those sent down through black cables. If you want to see what gold plating really means, a visit to Thailand will do the trick. Every single Buddha statue – sitting, standing, smiling, sleeping – is coated in gold paint. The great religious teacher who renounced his worldly possessions has been transformed from the simple Siddhartha to the golden Gautama! It seems appropriate, though, since visitors enter the country at Bangkok’s Swarna Bhoomi (golden land) Airport.

During the ‘90s, the high-flying buzz word in Oz was ‘Clayton this’ or ‘Clayton that’. It was a phrase used to satirise something that seemed to exist, but in reality did not. Like a phantom pregnancy. In the current climate, Wayne Swan’s budget surplus will qualify to wear that badge. His mining tax that hasn’t generated a single red cent, can best be described as a ‘Clayton tax’. I am intrigued as to why the Opposition hasn’t dug up this fossilised phrase to taunt the Treasurer.

While ‘Clayton’ was ruling the airwaves here, Clinton and Gore were glorifying the ‘information super highway’ as the sign post to El Dorado in their election campaign. After exiting the White House, Gore turned green, became an environmental evangelist and produced a hugely successful documentary. He then managed to flog his poorly rating

TV channel (was green the only colour on it?) promoting climate issues, for a cool 150 million greenbacks. Not an ‘inconvenient’ treasure trove!

One specific jargon that continues to baffle me is ‘brand ambassador’. It amuses and amazes me at the same time. It is now used to peddle goods from headgear to footwear, and everything in between. The role of an ambassador as we know it is to smoothen ruffled feathers and snuff out spot fires between nations. But brand ambassadors like Jennifer Hawkins, Laura Bingle and Kim Kardashian are content to strut their gear on catwalks and stuff their wallets with big cheques. Bingo, Laura could even flush down the drain a diamond ring worth a couple of

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• MT DRUIT STATION big grands! Our own MS Dhoni was once a brand ambassador for 48 different companies, including Karnataka Soap and Detergents Ltd. The role of a brand ambassador is to ‘embody the corporate image in appearance, demeanour, values and ethics’. even as america’s ‘Fiscal Cliff’ cast jitters on the world markets, it was all glitter down under as the jargon jangling the airwaves was ‘gold plated’.

To present that many images is a big task that will stump anybody. With successive series losses, sponsors have now run out of the door. Alas, ambassadorial assignments aren’t for ever.

By the way, how many fans buy those soaps and detergents spruiked by sports stars and Bollywood babes? Does anyone care for these ambassadors - except those who craft jargon like Fiscal Cliff that fall off our ‘Clayton’ memory before long.

The term ‘brand ambassador’ is used to peddle goods from headgear to footwear, and everything in between.