On fiscal cliffs and gold-plated glitz

From fiscal cliffs to Mayan myths, a look at popular jargon in the media recently

Rich' , ,vill expectant parents surf baby name portals for words with such ini rials? Yes sir, I bet!

Phew! Our world became doubly safe and sec LLre in Januar y after averting two disasters in a matter of ten days. T h e much - feared Mayan meltd ow n myth did not materialise on December 21. Perhap s the Mayan gods did not want ro ruin my b irthday: a kindred gesnue towards a fellow Indian o n this side of the globe?

With d1e physical planet now safe, die fiscal world was JJ LLlled back from ilie edge, inches befo re it went over. The eleventh -hour drama played out at the White House was redolent of a climax sce ne in a Ho llywood blockbuster.

'Fiscal Cli ff'. The powerful phrase has been repeated a million times over in every form of media! Who coined ilie jargo n - a clever cop rwri ter in an ad agency? If onlr he had followed Shah Rukh Khan's lead and trademarked bis creation, he c ould have made millions Mumbai's multi -millionaire mov ie m ogul has written to die Government's Reg istry to trademark his initi al s 'SRJ(', to stop others using the m to promote their products and make mone y. If he succeeds, will he run into strife with anod1er o f filmdom's SRJ< - Si ddarth Roy Kaput, husba nd of vivacious V idya Balan? P oo r Vidya may e nd up ,,,idi two SRK partners - the screen version and ilie home brand.

If the trademark trend catches on, another 'SR' celebrity (Sachin Ramesh) T end ulkar may p ile a few more tons of mool ab beside his marquee of fast cars in his foursrorey Bandra mansion. Sensing SR seems to stand for 'S uper

Even as th e Fiscal Cliff cast jitters on the world markets, it was all g litter down under as the jargo n ja ngling the airwaves was 'gold p lated'. Our Prime :Minister used this pet mantra to tarnish the grid ope ra rors' greed to pu s h up power prices. Wonder if d1e power coming down die 'goldplated' lines shines brighter ilian iliose se nt down d1rough black cables If you want to see what gold placing really means , a visit to Thailand will do the crick. Every single Buddh a statue - sitting, standing, smiling, sleeping - is coated in gold paint. The great religio u s teacher who ren ounced nis worldl y possessions has been transformed from th e simple Siddharilia to the golden Gautama! I t seems appropriate, iliough, since visitors enter the country at Bangkok's Swarna Bhoomi (golden land) Airport.

During die '90s, d1e high- fl)~ng buzz word in Oz was 'Clayto n this' or 'C layto n that'. It was a phrase used to satirise someth ing rhar seemed ro exist, but in reality did not. Like a phantom pregnancy.

In the current climate, Wayne Swan's budget surplus ,vill qualify to wear drnt badge His mining tiDc mat hasn't generated a single red cent, can best be described as a 'Clayto n rax'. I am inrrigued as ro why the Opposition has n't dug up this fossilised phrase t o taunt rhe Treasurer.

\ XThile 'Clayto n' was ruling the airwaves here, Clinton and Gore were glorifying ilie 'information supe r highway' as the sign post to E l Dorado in their election can1paign After exiting the Wnite House, Gore mrned green, became an environmental evangelise and produced a huge ly successful documentary. He t hen managed to flog his poorly rating

TV channel (was green the only colour on it?) promoting climate issues, for a c ool 150 million gree nbacks. Nor an ' inconvenient' treastue trove!

One specifi c jargon that continue s co baffle me is 'brand ambassador'. It amuses and amazes me at rhe same time. I t is now used to peddle goods from headgear to footwe ar, and everything in between. Th e role of an ambassador as we kn ow it is to smoothen ruffled feathers and snu ff o u t spot fires between n ations. But brand ambassadors like Jennifer H a,vki n s, Laura Bingle and [(jm Kardashian are content to strut their gear on catwalks and smff d1eir wallets with big che9 u es. Bingo, Laura could eve n flush down the drain a diamo nd ring worth a couple of big grands! Our own MS Dh o ni was o nce a brand ambassador for 48 different companies, including Karnara ka Soap and Detergen ts Ltd. Tbe role of a brand ambassador is to 'embody the corp orate image in appearance, demeanour, val ues and ethics'.

To present that many images is a big rask that will stump a nybody. With successive series losses, spo nsors have now nm out of tbe do or. Alas, ambassadorial assignments aren't for ever.

By t he way, how many fans buy mose soaps and d ete rgents spruiked by sports star s and Bollywood babes?

D oes anyone care for these ambassadors - except iliose who craft jargon like Fiscal Cliff tha t fall off our 'Clayton' memory before long.