RAIN loses its queen

Ushabehn Sangvi (19322012) is a lady who is loved, who has been loved, who will always be loved, beyond the limitations of time, memories and the normal capacities of the mind…..

Ushabehn passed away on December 6, 2012 at the grand age of 80, leaving behind a son, two daughters, sons-in-law, five grandchildren and lots of friends, all of who remember her with admiration and affection.

Yes, Ushabehn was a loving mother and a fantastic grandma, but what made her the ‘queen’ of a community service organisation? This is not just a title coined by some of us, in fact, she was younger, compared to some of the other candidates. But when Resourceful Australian Indian Network Inc (RAIN) began its operations, on consulting each other, the first name that came up was hers. Ushabehn!

And it was decided, easily enough, that Ushabehn was to be the queen of RAIN. She came to the newly-organised association about three months after its inception, but she was not alone. Her peer group was Hariharbhai Patel, navigation chief; and leading ladies were Ushabehn, Pragnabehn, Dayabehn, Champabehn and Sita Subramaniam from the south, along with Damodar Sodha, Labubehn Sodha and Suryabehn, Urmilabehn, Prafullabehn and Kalabehn from the north. The rest followed the good decision made by this leading group. They chose the person who would make their home special by uniting them in a spirit of community togetherness.

‘Love life’ is a motto for seniors who would not sit still; they did a lot and Ushabehn’s gentle persuasion helped. I can remember many an incident when I was persuaded with a smile and a gentle shake of the head, or a raised eyebrow. I learnt to accept her decisions without questioning

– she could not be wrong. That is the respect Ushabehn earned, and not from me alone. All her friends of several years and all her newly acquired friends in RAIN; those speaking Gujarathi or Punjabi, also people like me from south India, the one common thing we shared was that each and every one of us loved and respected Ushabehn, and thus she became the queen of RAIN.

‘Serve humanity’ was another or Ushabehn’s adages. The number of times we visited people in nursing homes or public housing, I watched her talking gently to those suffering, but not dwelling on their misery. She would tactfully guide the subject to something of interest to them, encouraging them to talk too, and smiling all the time. To me, this was the meaning of satsang.

When we decided to buy the property for our seniors, Ushabehn was insistent that the Sydney Gujarathi Seniors Satsang Mandal (SGSSM) would lend us an amount. Initially the RAIN committee was reluctant to accept this as we thought the SGSSM seniors may have other plans for the money and should not be deprived. However, Ushabehn told me that it has been given with their blessings, and that decided it. The project was kick-started with their kindness, and to this day we are grateful to Ushabehn and the SGSSM.

Ushabehn shared her happiness with us, but she was alone in suffering. Her pain was not known to anyone in the group and those who knew a little, dared not raise the subject or discuss it with her. However, Ushabehn’s commitment to her responsibilities were so precise, that once she knew she was in God’s waiting room, she neatly tied up all the loose ends. This remarkable lady who would never miss the monthly committee meeting, announced that she was retiring and made arrangements for others to carry out the duties she so silently and effectively carried out for so many years.

While managing the painful past few months in her own private way, Ushabehn did not sit still. She made greeting cards to raise funds for RAIN. What can I say of her community consciousness?

There was not one selfish bone in her body, and every senior in the group knew this. Since a while now, every waking thought, every moment’s contemplation for my friends and myself has been Ushabehn. My mind’s eye is filled with a single image – her smiling countenance, her charismatic presence - and it does not leave one that easily. And I am not alone as everyone expresses this strange feeling. How does one person make so many feel that they are privileged to be her special friend? It is a bonding, a special feeling of being loved –whether we have known her for several years or a few moments, Ushabehn has made an impression in our lives. Her generosity of loving has enveloped so many hearts and I don’t know any better sainthood than this.

RAIN has definitely lost its anchor in Ushabehn’s passing, but we have hope that her immortal soul will provide that shining light to lead us in our journey towards community togetherness. The spirit of giving we have learnt from her will stay with us forever. We can understand how the loving family will miss this great lady. Our heartfelt sympathy to them.

Sudha Natarajan