Dear women everywhere

This is addressed to all of you who have gone through some kind of harassment in your lives and have felt angry and helpless. I write this at a time when issues of women’s safety have resurged after certain horrific incidents in India. When I read about the rape and murder of a young woman in Mumbai, there were so many thoughts running through my head. But mostly I felt anger, that a senseless crime can set us back so much, when we have made great strides on so many fronts, where we are breaking barriers everywhere, entering fields that have been male bastions.

If there was some small comfort in the thought that we live in Australia, a place that is relatively safer for women, it was quite short lived when, almost immediately after, there were a series of attacks on women in suburban Western Sydney. A young woman walking with her three young children at 10am on a street in suburban Sydney was pushed to the ground and assaulted by a man. A teenage girl was attacked on the street and pushed into a ditch. And these are not one-off cases.

According to the Australia Institute of Criminology, assault is the most common category of violent crime that is prevalent in Australia, with 171,083 recorded cases in 2010. Although assault is more common among men, when it comes to sexual assault, women unfortunately come first. There were 17,757 reported cases of sexual assault in 2010, with the highest number being recorded among females in the 10-14 year age group.

In spite of the increase in the number of violent crimes against women, for most of us self-defense is something that we hardly think about, until we are caught in a situation where we are required to protect ourselves. I decided to speak to one of Australia’s leading female selfdefence experts and director of the Self-Protection Consultancy, Penny Gulliver, about this.

She says, “It’s only when disaster happens, that women find self-defense relevant to themselves. Sometimes it takes very bad things to happen for women to realize that it can possibly happen to them...I am a propagator of change in a very positive way for women, to help them feel more powerful and confident in all aspects of their lives.”

Safety tips

Penny offers some important tools and safety tips for women everywhere:

“The most important tool is awareness of what’s going on around you. Awareness of what you see, hear, touch, feel and who is looking at you”, says Penny. Women who are distracted, talking on their phone or looking for something in their bags are more susceptible to surprise attacks.

Holding something in your hand that could be used as a potential weapon is a turn-off to would-be attackers. It could be anything like an umbrella, walking stick, or even a cup containing a hot liquid like coffee.

Acting assertive and confident is another deterrent. “Stride in a bold confident manner. And don’t wear clothes that restrict your movement”, according to Penny.

Trust your intuition. If you see someone who doesn’t quite “fit the picture”, in a familiar environment, or if you feel someone is watching you, move out of the area as fast as you can.

If you feel someone approaching you could be a potential threat, the best thing to do is run. But run towards areas where there are other people, not lonely areas like parks. Talk loudly on the phone asking someone to meet you, acting as though you have backup, even if you don’t.

Situation with a young child

When you go out alone with your young children, you are at your most vulnerable. Running away is almost impossible, and you will always put yourself before your children. In situations like this, Penny says “You should have some kind of a game plan ready. Train the children to respond if there is a problem. You can ask them shout very loudly, or call a number on the phone, or even carry whistles that would attract the attention of other people.”

Fight back

Attackers, especially if alone, are looking for an easy target, and acting assertive, and offering resistance, changes their perception of you. “Most attackers are not brave. If a man is attacking a woman, he is not a brave man. He is picking on her because she is weaker”, says Penny.

If you sense you are being followed or watched, let the person know you are aware of their presence. Look them directly in the eye. In this way you remove their advantage of surprise.

Penny narrated a personal experience saying, “When I was walking with a friend, some people started walking close to us. Because I could sense they were too close and were just behind me, I grabbed her arm and pulled her across to the other side of the road and waited for them. I picked up a beer bottle, and they could see it. I changed the probability of being attacked by my action and by my awareness of what their intention was. “

Responding to an attack

So what can you do if you are being attacked? How do you respond? Here are some pointers.

• Set aside your fears and apprehensions. No matter how afraid you are, always remember the more you resist and fight back, the more you increase your probability of escape.

• If you have been grabbed, or you sense that you are going to be attacked, you have to hurt and incapacitate your attacker to get away. Aim for vulnerable parts of the body –kick them in the groin, jab them in the eye, punch them in the throat.

• Use tools from your environment – stones, sticks, pieces of metal, anything that you find around you, even a pen.

One of Penny’s former students was getting off a bus in Parramatta when someone started following her. When she made it clear that she was aware of his presence behind her, he walked past her, went around a block and then grabbed her. Remembering a video she had seen in the class, where a woman defends herself with a pen, she did just that. She took out a pen from her bag and stabbed him with it.

There were 17,757 reported cases of sexual assault in 2010, with the highest number being recorded among females in the 10-14 year age group.

If your attacker threatens you with a weapon, and asks for something, give them what they want. Throw your bag away from you on the ground and run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. It is definitely not worth risking your life for material objects.

Self defence is for everyone

In Penny’s opinion, “Self defence for everybody is very important. Everyone should learn do it at least once in their lives; it’s very much like doing a first aid course “

Although there are a number of martial arts and self defence classes available, those that cater specifically to women are few and far between. While choosing a course, look for convenience, affordability and ease of access, advises Penny. She herself teaches a basic self defense course for women which is a mixture of different martial arts.

And you are never too old to learn self-defense. Penny tells this story of a student of hers, a 68 year old woman, who realized she was being followed by a young man. She turned around, confronted him and punched him in the face! And told him if he followed her she would do it again.

Hopefully we can take our cue from her and stop being afraid. And start defending ourselves. Thank you for listening, An angry young woman