AskAuntyji

Dear Auntyji

*We have come a long way as a nation. But lately, Aunty, in my opinion, it seems that we are losing our way. I know everyone has an opinion about this, and what I wanted to know your fee lings on the latest tamashathis new film calledJism 2 Do you think that we should be more mindful of how our children are growing up, and what they are seeing on TV and cinema? Auntyji , do you think we are aping the west blind ly and one day, we will have no moan maryada left? What are your thoughts on all this, and what do you think of that girl Sunny, and also, that Sherlyn who posed for Playboy and calls it an achievement? Yehzaleel ladkiyan hamari izzat badnam kar rahi hain. They are bringing shame upon us Our mooh is kala on the international stage.

OY\ f;ltlY\Y\.0 tlY\tl f;VteX~Y\

Auntyji says

Yes, since Independence, we have come far as a nation. We have a lot to be proud of, at the same time we should be aware of how far we must go in order to reach enlightenment. But this Sherlyn and Sunny saga perplexes me somewhat I am undecided on the subject of what constitutes morality, because there are multiple philosophical arguments to be had about this. Jism 2 is being produced in the land which gave us the Kama sutra and the erotic art at Khajuraho. We as a people were much more relaxed during various stages of our being But I suppose we should talk about where we are now. On a personal level, I do feel that some of those music videos are a little more explicit than they need to be - and if I had young children, I would be concerned about the message that these videos are sending.

On the subject of Jism 2, well, I have not seen the movie and cannot comment on the artistic merit of it, but I do feel compelled to make general observations about the philosophy behind the tamasha that it has generated But first, l et's just talk about the cu ltural impacts of Bollywood films in a society where morality and decency are paramount. In such societies, a lot of things then disappear beneath the surface of respectability. So, our appearances are one of respect, maan, maryada, but darwaze ke peeche, we show our true colours.

Meanwhile, in other societies where people are more open and are comfortable with being themselves (no matter how objectionable some of their behaviours are - as long as it is not illegal) we tend to tolerate people's peccadilloes. I suppose what I am trying to say is that any society that claims that respectability is much more important than true expression, has as its core a fundamental hypocrisy. There are countless examples across the world where such duplicity exists - the Catholic church and its history of abuse is a clear example.

So back to Bharat mata. Let's look at the society we live in. We have been sexually repressed in the public arena for a whi l e Holding hands in public and any public displays of affection were frowned upon. And now, we are allowing ourselves the option to change this. Using Australia as an example, no one has issues with public displays of affection, but no one does it either. You rarely see people running around and engaging in indecent behaviour, unless you count those girls on a Friday night carrying on - but that's another story altogether. Give these same girls another 5 years and they will be models of decorum. The point I am making is that Indian society seems to be becoming more open-minded, but in an experimental way. We are using cinema and art to push forward an agenda - and this cannot be a bad thing. Ok, with such progressive movements, there are bound to be problems, but I would like to think that one of these days, a nice balance will be met and that videos and films with gratuitous sexual imagery will be seen as rather dull and lacking artistic merit. And as for Sherlyn and Sunny?

Wei I, the more important question is not what these girls choose to do with their lives, but what we do with ours. We can choose to watch the images or the film. We can choose to see the message they a re endorsing rather than the veneer behind which the message is cloaked - that openness in and acceptance of matters of sexuality are part of a tolerant and progressive society That's all I have to say on the subject. Except for this one thing Sherlyn and Sunny are very naughty girls. They must be punished severely except Sunny would probably enjoy that. I shall have quiet words with them when I see them for Diwali.

Dear Aun t yji

I t was my birthday on the 8th of August and I turned 45 AuntyJi, I wonder where most of my life went It just flashed by in a hurry and did not give me time to catch my breath. While I have a fantastic Job and education, a very big and beautifu l house, multiple investment properties and a very loving family, I sometimes wonder if I coul d have achieved more. And then, I al so wonder what the second hal f of m y life will bring I have no intentions to buy a flashy red car and drive off with a blonde chikni chameli, but sometimes I wonder if th i s option is still available to me. And then I ponder and ponder the life I could live with my blondie and how much masti I would have Of course, my teenage bachche will be aghast to know I am thinking such lurid thoughts, but I am a mard I need to prove my mardangi every now and again Can you give me some hints please?

\ CfLSLS

Auntyji says

Oh you%$"&* ! Is budhaape mein aap masti karna chahete ho, and that too, with a b londe dayan? I am simply channelling your mother-in-law, because her words should ring in your ears as you ponder the virtues of the apsara who would be your blonde chameli. Now, 45 is still very young This is evident by your immaturity. If you had any aka/, any wisdom , you woul d have realised that your life has been immeasurably blessed You have more than most log would achieve in teen generations in some countries So instead of focusing on your Leo sel f, and yes, it is always about you, maybe you should be taking the waqtto think how you can g i ve back to a society and community that has given you so much. Perhaps you could be looking at ways how you can help other people in need, instead of working out what else you can claim in life. And while I am here, I may as well give a nadaan like you some sa/aah, because it's evident that tumko to bilku/ bhi aka/ nahi hai. The purpose of life is to live to your potential, and give of yourself to others. This does not mean you give yourself to a blonde chammak cha/lo, but it means using what you have - whether it's resources or your time - to help those who have l ess than you And when you can make a difference to someone else's life, and when you can make someone else's life much better, only then can you fee l that you have achieved your goals This is what your mardangi should be about, and definitely not about how many ways you can get chikni chameli to tell you that you are the best