The quest for ha p1ness

This state of being doesn't have to be as rare as some make it out to be

Th ere is an oft q uoted saying about h appin ess : "Happiness is J;kf, a b11tterf!)'

The 111oreJ'Otl chase it the harde1· it is to grasp it

H O//Jever ify o11 lei it be

It 1vill co111e a11d rest gentfy uponyour shoulder "

This is very apt as a truism Mo d ern la m en ts abou t the presence of sign ificant 1mhap p ine ss in so ciety is fueUed by di e ves ted im erescs of the consumeris t wo rld we li ve in, an d m ost people q u ite blin d ly m ake i t a sel f- fulfillin g p rop hecy ' 'I am lmhappy b ecause I d o n ot p ossess w hat i s the latest a nd m ost ex pe n sive" is a p o p ular r efrain. As soon as we ab dicate the p o wer to w h at m akes us hap py to m aterial diin gs, we beco m e p ossess ive a nd co ntrolling of h ap piness itself. Li ke b eaut y, happ in ess c anno t be possessed exclu sively. W he n we d o feel h ap p y we cr y to hold o n to it, and want co retain it fo reve r at all costs Thi s invariably leads to its d es rructio n and certain d emi se, o nly to be followed b y d isappointment and d es pair.

TI1e m os t com m o n mistake i s to beli eve chat som e diin g outside of o urselves i s r espon sible for o ur happiness. In fact, it is some times quoted as a reaso n for th e brea k u p o f rela tio n ships: " H e/s he di d n ot make m e ' h ap py' ." Quite e r ro neo usly we believe cha t the possess io n of mate rial thin gs, di e kudos from o the rs fo r our ad1 ievemencs, o r d1ar o ne's par t ner has the respo n sibility co m ake us h appy Th ese p re requisites for h appiness, of co urse, sh a re cwo v ital in g redients - m ova b le goal p o s es and o n e's lack of co n trol over di.i s m ove m e n tl i\s t he go al shifts e n dlessl y, m ore an d m ore ma te rial things, m o r e and m ore r ecogni tio n from othe rs b eco m e n ecessary co m ake us h app y Wha t fo llows i s a v iciou s cycle of need turning to wam , w hich th en leads co despair when it is n o t achieved Ins tead o f hap pi ness, what o ne em b arks o n is a self-ce ntered se arch fo r ple asm e an d hed onism , or a bloated feeling o f sel f-worth. Both o f t hese ar e rathe r fragile for they can be d es tro yed b y outside fo rces in die blink o f an eye t hat may we ll be beyon d o n e's con trol. If o n e stop s to smell the roses, help som eo n e in n eed, sh ow r esp ect to o ur fellow bei ngs a nd begin to enjoy the sin1 p le, in exp e n sive an d b e au tiful creation s

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Seeking suitable match for clean -sha ven Jat Sikh Gill boy, 29 years 5'9" MSc. BEd (India). Diploma in hospitality (Australia). Applied PR in 2009. Belonging to a noble and respected family with moral values Sister married and settled in Sydney Email australiagill @yahoo com mobile 0470 574 071 0423 238 228

Matrimonial alliance is required for my nephew, 31 years, 5'1 o·: fair complexion, engineering g raduate, working in real estate, from respectable H indu Punjabi family. No dowry please Simple girl, decent education with any job in Sydney or a professional from India Contact 02 9613- 305 7; 0423 084030.

Compatible match for 1975 born, handsome, clean -shaven Sikh Khatri boy 5'9 ; two post grad degrees from India and recently finished Mast ers in IT from Australia. Applied for temporary resident visa (currently wit h full work rights) and working as Vehicle Service Agent for H ertz multina ti onal car rental company earning $4000 per month Girl should be tall, well- educated with pleasing personality, and must be form Sikh background. Early marriage; serious proposals only please Phone 0422 102 242 or email jas ghai01 @gmail.com of n am re chat is aroun d us, h appin ess almos t always land s ge n d y o n our sho ulde r like a beautiful but te rll y. Like t he but te r lly itsel f, tr u e h appiness is ex p erienc ing a vi br ant, free, en ergetic, yet very brief ex perienc e cha t leaves a lasting smile o n our face.

"\'v'e tend to fo rget di at h app iness doesn 't com e as a r esult of gettin g so m ething we d o n't h ave, but radi er of rec ognizing an d ap p reciating what we do h ave "

Happiness begins with:

* A tranquil mind

* An active body

* Hdpful hands

* Thoughtful actions

* Compassionate words

• Enthusiastic ideas

• A smiling face

A trusting namre

* Respectful deeds

* An attitude ofhumility and

* Enjoying solitude leading to a happy life!

Australian College of Vocational Studies

T''hisiswbere Buddhism was first introduced to our land," says Harsba, my guide, while standing in front of a white stupa at Mihintate in Sri Lanka. It is said tbat at this spot arow1d 247 BC, Mabinda, Emperor Ashoka's son met Sinhalese King De,'3.Ilampiya and inspired him to accept Buddhism as tbe national religion.

Marked as a significant event in tbe land's histor y, tbis devout espousal led to the integration of state royalty witb religious orders wbich in subsequen t periods influenced art, culture, lifestyle and architecture lr is evident tbrougbout Sri Lanka; but mos t expressively in tbe ancient cities in the nortbern plains from where 2500 years ago, tbe v:ihrant journey of a nation and a religion began.

An odyssey througb past legacies following tbe steps of tbe royals and Buddhism is a major attraction of tbe lndian Ocean Island, currently witnessing unprecedented growth in tourism at tbe end of its long-dcawn etbnic unrest.

Speculations suggest tbar me island of 64, 000 sq km area was originally occupied by i{untergatherers called Veddahs, w1til 5'h century BC, when Vijay, an ousted ludian king toucbed its sbores and instituted tbe firs t

Sinhalese kingdom tbat ruled the land from tbeir capital Anuradhapu.ra for tbe next 1200 years. It was during this golden era tbat myriad palaces, temples, stupas and monasteries were townships were developed with massive irngation systems needed for survival in tbe hot dry land, and artistic and architectural endeavours were sponsored. After Anuradhapura was destroyed b y tbe Chol a kings from Soutb India, Polonnarawadown s ou.rll becan1e tbe n ew epicentre and remained s o for over two centuries rill the Europeans moved in and th e power base shifted further south to Kandy and finaJly, to Colombo.

Tbe primeval sites are lo cated around 3 hours away by road from the capital C olomb o , an international getaway met ropolis which in sty le and ambiance is diffi:rent from rest of tbe n ation. I r is more cosmopolit an ; represents a unique blend of cultures derived from its early settlers - the Arabs, Portuguese, Dutch and British - and displays tolerance for all religions, t estified by the number of Catholic churches, Hindu temples and Islamic mosques sharing space witb Buddhist shrines.

To experience the true Sri Lanka and its roots, and to comprehend the evolution of Buddhism in this land , all guidebooks recommend mov:in g out of Colombo and driv in g north to Anu.radhapu.ra and its surrounds, often referred as t he Cultural Quarter.

Founded b y King Pandukabhaya in 384 BC, Anuradhapura is undoub tedly the jewel in tbe crown. The ensemble of ta11 Buddhist s tupas or dagobas, admirable sculptural samples and me remains of royal palaces, temples, monasteries, gardens and ceremonial bath s, depicts a strong connection between royalty andrellgion. All the srupas are well - preserved, prominenr among them are

1huparama dag oba, said to be me oldest of its kind in the world; Ruya.nvelisaya dagoba guarded by a wall witb a fresc o ofcoundess elephants standing shoulder-to - shoulder; tbe 100m tallJetavanarama dagoba tliat on ce housed 5000 monks; and

Abhayagi ri dag oba, the largest in

the domain

Unlike Anuradhapu.ra, at Polonnaru.wa s ome Brahmanic monn.ments built by the Chola kings add to the assembly o f epic .ruins of palaces and.pn ctuaries e ndowe d by several Indian and Sinhalese d ynasti es in a per fect natural setting Rewallng superior samples of art and architecture , they appear to b e in marginally better physical c ondi t ion , perhaps being y oung er fo age Unfortw1ately b ecause of time constraints ic is no t possibl e to see a1I of them , however d on't miss the g iganti c ro ck - carved Buddha figures at Gal V ihara , the 1 75m diamet er s tupa at Rank:o t Vih.ara and the four sitting Buddha busts, placed on a.raise d platform a t the Quadrangle

The mo st sacred emblem in Anuradhapura is S ri Maha Sodhi, a huge tree which has grown from the cutting of the same plane in Bodhgaya in India, unde r which me meditating Siddharrha

G autama attained e nligbtenm ent and became Buddh a. The sapling was brought to Sri Lanka in 244 BC by Sangan1i tta, Emperor Ashoka's daughte r to inspire me new religion introduced earlief by her brorller. Over the years, the sprout grew into a h• tree, withstood sun and rain for more than two millennium and survives t od ay a t the s ame location as the oldest histo rically authenticated nee in the world.

I-rs presence .iJ ~Fjl(.i,o the heart of every arde nt 811 dd;irt io ' thousands thronging the Pilgrims inlarge lllll1lber also visit mountainous Miliitale which millenniums before was deeply forested , where roy als voyaged m hUDl d eer It was during one such trip o n a full m o on day tha.cKing Devanamp i_fa saw the apostle Mahinda aiiB was instantly engaged b f his spiritual strengtb The wondrous settin~c ame renowned a s me cradfri:,f Buddhism and Anur4l).apu.rft kings of tben and the e in tb e precinct with b eautiful s hrines , s tupas and caves, o ne o which is a cclaime d as Mahinda's meditation camp ' 'A m ore p erfect sanctuary for die son s o f Buddh a could not be fq und anywhe re else throu.gho €1eog_th and breaddn,f Ceylon ," said 2 0 th cennuy B ritish archaeologi Harry Bell, a nd ~ors, irrespecti ve of their religion , tmd to agree with this stateme nt w hen at Mihi t ale 1hough not clearly docume nted, many Sri Lankans ~tba~u.ddbism was instituted Into the Jlhd es C#.lier l,j;~e Lord b.imself"-vdto, a~ng ro Ie ed S ri Lanka tluee 1'ftnes - in 528 BC, 5 23BC and 520 BC to

:they stand t oday as si tes of ' l grimage for Buddhists from J ov!th e w orld. So does the 2 2 34 mo lr ain peak of Sri Pada w ere ud"1a is assume d to have left his oo , rint duiing his second visi t.

However in t erms of ven eration , petbaps n o thing b eat;S l\,.woth TempJe in K andy Thi s sllfine'treasures Bu.ddha's toom which was 'ftlCdVered from his fune ral p yre and smuggled t o Anuradhapura w ith c reden ce t hat whoever has custody of ir o wns tbe righ t t o rul e t he king d o m. Witb me d e mi se of an cien t ~al.lMhe re w a s shifted to a:ilibple in Kanlf,-which now stands as a. major attra ction for visi t ors to S ri Lanka, irrespective m tea ~: stone edifi ce .is y carved and decorate d · caskets placed on a le ~ kept in a two -story inner chamfter fronted by two large elephant tusks. There are certain times during the day when pilgrims can see the casket from a clistance.

The pious piece is removed ' &om its shrine only once a year, during the 10-day Esala Perahera, possibly recognized as1he Jargm Buddhist celebration in the world. During the full moon in late July or early August, a royal male elephant carries the reliquary of the sacred tooth and leads a colourful parade of dancers, drummers , dignitaries and several ornately d rated elephants.

Harsha tells me ch enda atthc.Iestiva1 exceeds the million

Travel Notebook Sri Lanka

GETTI NG THERE

SingaporeAirlines (www.singa porea ir.com) has dai lyflights to Co lombo from Singapore with excellent connect ions fromAustral ia offe ring 107 flights per week intota l to Singa pore from Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane Adelai de and Per th. The A380operates on two offou r fl ights from Sydney, and one from three fl ights from Mel bourne.

Accommodat Ion

Cu ltu ral Quarter preci nct offers an array of qua lity accommodation options; however Heritanc.e Hotel at Kandalama (www.heritancehotels.com) aptly boasts a haven of bliss. AGeoffrey Bawa creation this luxury hideout is notfarfrom any of thedistinguished sites, and is uniquely styled li ke an outspread wing of a bird. Overlooking a t ranquil la ke the 1.8 km long hotel is7 stories high, yet appea rs to bea perfect nat ura l extension of the rocky mounta in. At Kandy, it is mostconven ientto stay at the colonia l Queens Hotel (www. queenshote l.lk ) in front of the tem ple.

To Ur Package

Ait ken Spence Travel (www.aitkenspenc.etravels.com) for Cultural Triangle package tours or for transportation ina privateveh k le with driver cum gu ide

The tendency to overeat is higher in winter, but some foods can keep you increasing the calories

Well into winter now, one of ou r mam concerns 111 tbis season is putting on weight with less activity. For most of us, it is too co ld to ventur e o ut fo.r our regular exercise This is the time when we just want co sit down on di e couch cuddled up in our quil t a nd drink hm beverages while watching om favmtrite TV show or just readi ng.

Some people s u ffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD ) , which adds moodiness, causing one co stray from their health goals Studies have suggested diat there is an increase in aches and pains during w inter, alo n g \vith an increase in fmictional impairment associated w ith seasonal depression An increase in appetite is also reported, with die stare o f the wi n ter season.

Nature has its own way of keeping the body warm. Heat can be generated &om within t he body as well as from food di at raises the body's temperature co help it cope. The body needs to burn more calories co keep warm, and hence there is a n eed to ea t more However, cerr.ain foods have a more warming effect than others. In the win ter we te nd to increase OLtr intake of hot, spicy and fried foods like p"ris, sat110S{IS, gulahja111Uns, caffol ha/ll)a and gara111garallljalebi. Bue with reduced activity an d an increase in t he intake of high calorie foods, we pile on the kilos We can hide this weight u n der bulky winter clod1es but it becomes a ma1or concern m smnmer.

But we can chase away OLtr chills with foods that generate heat and keep our bodies warm, while nor adding to our weight.

Soups

A bowl of hot soup in w inter is w h at our bod y needs to take the chill out of our bones. So ups can be an excelle n t way to ad d veggies, lentil s, beans and protein- loaded chicken, fish or meat to your diet without the addition of too many carbohydrates and fats in your diet. Having a Jow calorie bowl of soup before d inner help yon consume fewer calories in your m eal whic h in turn can prevent weight gain. Try to make soups with diffe rent combinations and also by using different ingredients such as beans, green leafy vegetables, carrots, tomatoes, sweet p otatoes, fish, chicken and meat. You can even have thick bro d1s of soup as a meal if you add enough proteins, vegetab les, and potatoes or sweet p otatoes for carbohydrates. Avoid having very creamy so u ps or adding too much cornflom co thi cken th e soup. If you want to buy commercial soups, co contro l the amount of fat, sodiu m and calories in yo ur soup, shop for low-sodium, lowfat brand s o r prepare your own soups at h ome using .low- sodium vegetable broth. Not only are soups h ot, tasty and nutritious, b u t d 1ey also provide water which we often forget to cons Lmie during w inter Hot liquid also helps b reak up congestion and liquefy mucus.

Herbs, spices and condiments

Winter is a great time to add condini ents and herbs like g inger, garlic, cloves, cinnamon and turme r ic to )'Our meals In addition to th e ir wa rming effec ts, diey coma.in phyto nutrieots a nd have anti -inflammator y properties that help fight in fections and disease. Garlic a lso has allicin, an antioxidaot diat helps fight bacteria and strengd1ens our immune system

Citrus fruits

Citrus fruit like lemons, grapefruit, oranges and m andarin are loaded w idi vitamin C and thus help us fight against common colds and flu These foods strengdien our immune system and die vi tamin C also helps combat free radicals and thus may also aid i.n preventing certain cancers. Citrus foods ar e good so urc es of potass ium and folate, the nutrients needed for a healthy heart.

Nuts and dried fruits

Nurs can be a frie n d 01" a foe in w imer. In India w iili die Ram LiJa come die rehri/lJalas with peanuts,gach11k a nd reV!i N m s can be very healthy snacks for w inter, if eate n i.n moderation. They are a good source of energy, protein, i ron, sele nium , vitam in E and unsaturated fats. Most dried fruits sucli as dates, figs and prunes are high in fibre w hich helps with constipation that sets in with reduced activi ty and less water i n the winter momhs.

Dates and a pricots can b e good desserts instead of hot g11/ab jo111u11 But v-rid1 the nu ts, sinc e these are e nergy-dense, moderation is die keynote - no t more than a handful a day

Whole grains

The traditional l ndian who le grain cereals besides wheat and cice include hqjra, jo11Jar, oats, barley a n d corn whic h have g reat warming properties Millets can be used to make hot porridge. Whole pul ses and legumes like beans soybean and lentils can be u sed in soups an d stews. Whole grains and wholegrain breads are a heal d1y way to ad d fibre to your diet and a lso to keep you full.

Seeds

Seeds such as smillowe r seed s, f!axseeds, linseeds a nd sesam e seeds are known for d1eir warming effects and health prop erties. Om wioters in northern lndia were filled with yummies such as alsi kc ladoo, ti! kJ gachak and ti! ke Jadoo.

Seeds bave phyto- estrogens mat are good an ti- oxidants which help in preventing cancers These seeds are also good sources of m1saturated fats, protei n s, vitamin E and minernls. But it is heal d1ier to add seeds in om cereals and stews, and only occasion ally have the iadooJ.

Lean meats, chicken and fish

Th ese high protein foods are associated w i th increased heat production and higher thermogenesis Bur stick to d1e grilled and steamed optio n s, rather tban the fried o n es

Tea

Teas such as g inger and t1ilsi tea have been used co treat cough, co lds, body aches and pains Tea has flavo noids which help to strengthen the inimune sys tem But be careful co ad d low fat milk and not load it with sugar Ginger tea with half a teaspoon of honey or jaggery is great for winter.

Fluids

Water is die most neglected dming win ters Make sure you sip on enoug h soups, tea and juices to keep yourself well hydrated

En joy yom winter meals widiout the addition of extra cal ories o r the fear of cholesterol going high.

Itwas tbe film awards nigh[. The winner of the category 'New discovery of the year' was abom to be announced. Anica sat on the edge of her seat, her parents on either side of her mimicking her stance. It see m ed so surreal. A girl &om a small cowrr outside Mmnbai with no financ ial backing and no internal connections was sea red amidst the nominees, awaiting the announcement of the winne r 's name

As fa r as Anita was concerned, she had arrived. Even if s he did not win, the movie industry has woken up co her. He r manager was looking at two new offers, the perfect ro les to set her up for d1e future.

She had two people to thank for thi s. A simple man who worked as a chauffeur, and an even simpler lady who wor ked as a teacherher beloved parents! L iving in their middle class world away from the g litter and g lamour of d1e celluloid world, no one could understand the insatiable need that Anica had to be an actress.

They say ber very first word was ' movie'. B y the tin1e she was .five, she was acting in school p la ys By the time she was in college, she was acting on me stage. Aud it was at one of her shows chat a film director too k note of Anita's talent. He put her into a p lay that his wife was directing. Before the season ended, he had signed her up for his next fih11. le was the usual 'scarcer film' with the usual plot - girl meets boy, g irl l eaves boy, boy finds girl. But even he acknowledged that it was her acting chat had made the movie exceptional.

"Auel the winner is " These words brought Anita back co me present.

The actress who stood on the stage ho lding d1e trophy was ilie famous leading lady Rica, of the past era. With her d yed hair and a face caked with make- up, she now evoked more sympad1y d1an adoration. She was noted for clinging co die microphone when she got hold of it, screeching like a teenager in her pretended enthusiasm, and dressing like a madam of a cheap brothel.

"Anica!" Her mother clutched her hand, repeating the outcome.

For the first tinle in her life,

Anita's heart beat with happiness. So much joy, chat she was even ashamed of her petty thoughts.

"Let Rica relive her glori es, I an1 go ing to walk up to mine!"

Anica hugged her parents and then slowly made her way to the dais. This would never be hers again, so she walked slowly, savouring each moment. Her very first award!

Finally she reached her prize Rica enveloped her in a hug and wished her every success, but did not release the trophy. Instead she told the world that it was an honour for her to be able ro give the award to an actress with so much talent Anica bowed with hwnilicy, drnnked her gracious ly and then b lew a k iss to her parents. le was to d1em that she owed her gratin1de. They had ensured that she was given every oppormnity irr life, unmindful of the cost or the personal hardship. And in her acceptance speech, she acknowledged their sacrifice Both of diem broke down. Anita too, was in tea rs.

Rita took the opportun.i cy co take the microphone back.

Irritated, Anita grabbed i t back and finished her acceptance speech She thanked the direcror, me producer and her co- scars.

Finally she walked away &om the stage leaving Rica behind, who continued ro wrest for the microphone.

After that incident, s he made sure she kept her distance from Rita at the celebration party, but somehow whenever a phoco was taken , R ita wou ld manoeuvre her way into me shoe. Sh e even managed co involve hersel f in the interviews.

After arr hour of playing the game, Anita finall y decided chat she was go ing to be frank and tell me old actress co leave her alone.

When she saw her go cowards the balcony Anica followed, stopping for a few more press phot0graphs along d1e way.

On stepping out omo the balcony, s he looked around but could not see Rita anywhere.

Turning co go back in, she noticed an open door to the stairwell d1rough wh ich voices she recognised were raised in argument.

"Anita is famous n ow We have fulfilled our side of the deal; it is time co fulfill yo urs," her father said.

"l have given you everything )'Oll have always asked for but no,v that she is arr independent woman, your services are no longer needed," Rita replied.

"The services of a parent never end," her mother seated.

" Parents! You bo d1 were acting a role, nothing more. A role for which you were wellcompensaced !" came d1e scornful reply.

Anita's head beg an reeling What were they talking about? Why was parenthood and compensacion being used in the same sentence?

"

\V./e may not have given birth co Anita, bm she i s our child," her mother said.

"B ut yo u are not her mod1er," Rita screamed

" l aml She is our child Just as d1e hw1dreds of illegicimace childcen you actors prodL1ce who become children to parents like us We give legitimacy to your kids while you all continue in yo ur caree r s and pretend co live noble lives. Look around and you will see the resemblances J\11 the proof is in that room," retaliated her father

Rita did not refute d1e claim; instead she spat back, "You take money to be a mother. How nob le do yo u call that?"

"And you? You pay tO keep your child hidden," her fadier arcacked.

"Not any more, ic is tinle for me to introduce my daughter co the world," Rita replied.

" \\lhy now?" asked Anita's mother in a softer tone.

" Because it is time for my revenge," Rita replied and then added, "Do you know who her father is?"

''Yo ur affair w i th your co- scar was well known," her father answered.

"Ah, but that was the cover up. It was not an actor wbo was Rita's father, it was a dicect0r," Rita replied

Anita leaned against cbe wall. She lmew who t hat director was.

A loud b,rng made Rita and Anita's carers rush onto the balcon y Seeing that it was empty they heaved a breath of relief, then turned to see Rita's award. She had smashed ic against the wall.

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