The quest for happiness

This state of being doesn’t have to be as rare as some make it out to be

BY saroJa sriniVasan

There is an oft quoted saying about happiness:

“Happiness is like a butterfly

The more you chase it the harder it is to grasp it.

However if you let it be

It will come and rest gently upon your shoulder.”

This is very apt as a truism. Modern laments about the presence of significant unhappiness in society is fuelled by the vested interests of the consumerist world we live in, and most people quite blindly make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“I am unhappy because I do not possess what is the latest and most expensive” is a popular refrain. As soon as we abdicate the power to what makes us happy to material things, we become possessive and controlling of happiness itself. Like beauty, happiness cannot be possessed exclusively. When we do feel happy we try to hold on to it, and want to retain it forever at all costs. This invariably leads to its destruction and certain demise, only to be followed by disappointment and despair.

The most common mistake is to believe that something outside of ourselves is responsible for our happiness. In fact, it is sometimes quoted as a reason for the break up of relationships: “He/she did not make me ‘happy’.” Quite erroneously we believe that the possession of material things, the kudos from others for our achievements, or that one’s partner has the responsibility to make us happy. These prerequisites for happiness, of course, share two vital ingredients – movable goal posts and one’s lack of control over this movement! As the goal shifts endlessly, more and more material things, more and more recognition from others become necessary to make us happy. What follows is a vicious cycle of need turning to want, which then leads

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Both of these are rather fragile for they can be destroyed by outside forces in the blink of an eye that may well be beyond one’s control. If one stops to smell the roses, help someone in need, show respect to our fellow beings and begin to enjoy the simple, inexpensive and beautiful creations

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“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Happiness begins with:

* A tranquil mind

* An active body

* Helpful hands

* Thoughtful actions

* Compassionate words

* Enthusiastic ideas

* A smiling face

* A trusting nature

* Respectful deeds

* An attitude of humility and

* Enjoying solitude…. leading to a happy life!