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Resilience Encouraging

It is an admirable quality to nourish in the young, particularly within our excessively materialistic society depression and even contemplation of ending their lives.

BY SAROJA SRINIVASAN

In common usage we could say that the word ‘resilience’ actually means ‘staying power’. Other commonly used and closely related terms are ‘psychological resilience’, ‘emotional resilience’, ‘hardiness’, ‘resourcefulness’ and ‘mental toughness’. In psychology, resilience refers to the idea of an individual’s tendency to cope with stress and adversity. This coping may result in the individual ‘bouncing back’ to a previous state of normal functioning by using the experience of facing adversity to produce a ‘steeling effect’ and function better than expected. It is very much like an inoculation that gives one the capacity to cope well with future exposure to disease. It is a process by which one learns to use resources that will help sustain their wellbeing. It is the capacity to use challenges one faces as lessons for growth, to face future hardships and make them tolerable. We often hear stories of people facing horrendous experiences in their lives and yet surviving to rise above it all to great heights. Resilience enriches our lives and gives us the courage to face adversities with a smile. It is an ability that we need to acquire and encourage, and train those who are vulnerable. So what is this capacity that is so prevalent in some and not in others? While surprisingly many show high levels of resilience despite repeated adversities, many others also lack this to the extent that even a small setback in their lives leads them to severe levels of

Street kids… appear to have no resentment against their circumstance, be it the lack of adult support from their own families or concerned others.

The most resilient group that comes to mind immediately is the children of the streets, the sort who were depicted in the popular movie Slumdog Millionaire Lacking adult protection they learn at a very young age to fend for themselves and meet all adversities headlong. One of the most sustaining qualities they possess is their acceptance of the present and living it in the moment in the true sense of the word, quite contrary to those who spend their life oscillating between feeling guilty about the past and worrying about the future. For the latter, the present is dwindled away further whilst the person enters the vortex of helplessness. The street kids, on the other hand, appear to have no resentment against their circumstance, be it the lack of adult support from their own families or concerned others. They just get on with living. Their own families have deserted them and the authorities lack the will to implement successful strategies due to cost constraints. Yet the smile on their faces belies this rude neglect by society. It brings their inner resilience to the fore and they eke out a living against all odds.

Another source from whom much can be learned about resilience is the survivors of torture and trauma. From the survivors of the Holocaust to present day political prisoners, these people have endured unimaginable acts of violence, both physical and emotional. Yet they have come through at the end even stronger as individuals. It seems their inner strength, their resilience, the belief in their own self-worth and faith in a higher power has given them the capacity to rise above these horrific experiences.

Many studies in resilience cite the importance of close relationship with family, one’s own culture, and one’s experiences of social justice and spirituality as significant contributing factors in building resilience.

The American Psychological Association suggests “10 Ways to Build Resilience”, which are: (1) maintaining good relationships with close family members, friends and others; (2) to avoid seeing crises or stressful events as unbearable problems; (3) to accept circumstances that cannot be changed; (4) to develop realistic goals and move towards them; (5) to take decisive actions in adverse situations; (6) to look for opportunities of self-discovery after a struggle with loss; (7) developing self-confidence; (8) to keep a long-term perspective and consider the stressful event in a broader context; (9) to maintain a hopeful outlook, expecting good things and visualizing what is wished; (10) to take care of one’s mind and body, exercising regularly, paying attention to one’s own needs and feelings, and engaging in relaxing activities that one enjoys. Learning from the past and maintaining flexibility and balance in life are also mentioned. Some circumstances in life are outside one’s control and coping is reflected in one’s ability to seek out ways of understanding the problems, and to see them in a manageable, reality-focussed way. In general, resilient people are believed to possess positive emotions which in turn, influence their responses to adversity. For the generation who has experienced immediate gratification in almost all things, the idea of facing even a small adversity becomes catastrophic. Developing resilience is vital to lead a balanced life. Sometimes stubbornness is confused with resilience. When some one stays with a hopeless situation despite evidence to the contrary, it is stubbornness and not resilience. Resilience is certainly a valuable quality, but one has also to implement it in the right circumstance.

Perhaps it has to be fostered and encouraged from an early age, especially in the climate we live in, of material wealth and instant gratification.

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