Telemarketing tricksters

BY SHERYL DIXIT

They seek me here, they seek me there… those damn telemarketers seek me everywhere…

It’s 6:30pm on a Tuesday, I’m batting with getting dinner ready for two hungry kids and at that crucial moment, the phone rings. I turn the gas to low and rush across the room, spectacularly skidding on a toy car strategically placed in my path.

“Hello, am I speaking to Mr or Mrs Dixit?”

The fact that the person on the other line hasn’t recognized me as being female from my initial response is intensely irritating.

“Who’s this, please?” I ask testily.

“Mrs Dixit, I have got some very good news for you! We are offering you a fully paid holiday anywhere in Australia, valid for two years, in a five star resort….”

“Sorry, not interested, thanks, goodbye!” themselves strange sounding Western names like “Shawaan” (Shaun), Jeenie (Jenny), Daneel (Daniel)

I say before hanging up and rushing to rescue the rapidly charring meal.

Despite working from home, I have no answering machine.

This is because if I did connect one, the message would say: “Hi, if you’re calling about installing solar power, cheap international calls, pay-in-advance holidays, financial solutions to halve my mortgage in three days, invitations to seminars, short independent surveys or with news that the Australian Tax Office is giving me extra cash for being a good citizen, please hang up now, as I’m not interested. Anyone else, please leave your name and number, and I’ll call you back.” I can guarantee that even my friends would hang up before getting through half of that message.

Telemarketers are currently the bane of my life. On one particularly successful day (for them), I received eleven calls from people with distinct Indian accents calling themselves strange sounding Western names like “Shawaan” (Shaun), Jeenie (Jenny), Daneel (Daniel). I know because it was one of those rare days when I didn’t have much work and had the time to keep repeating “Who?” until they spelled out their names for me. They tried to sell me devices that would halve my electricity bills, holiday packages worth thousands for which I only had to pay $159 upfront in the next ten minutes; they invited me to a free dinner prior to a consultation on reducing my mortgage, investing my non-existent ‘surplus’ cash, and while I perversely

“What?” I asked, immediately suspicious. With my experience of the ATO, they’re more interested in taking the stuff off you, than giving any back.

“You have a good credit history and have paid all your bills on time,” she elaborated, while I silently mouthed a “Really?”

“I will give you a number to call, dear,” she said condescendingly. “Just give them your bank account details and they will arrange to transfer the money to you.” And arrange to clean out my account, I thought. I diligently took down the number and promptly called the ATO.

“It’s a scam,” said a patient lady at the other end of the phone, finally shattering my dubious dreams of a windfall. She directed me to the ATO site which listed the details of the scam, exhorting people not to get involved in the deal which consists of paying out $200 to get the $4000. Common sense would generally prevail, making one think again about exactly why the ATO would call instead of sending out the customary letter. And why on earth would they offer money for good behavior? As an inducement for being agood citizen? Sorry, but life just doesn’t

I haven’t actually earned. But more often than not, if someone’s offering you freebie cash or a consultation, wake up, this is the real world! They’ll ask you to pay money to get money, or they’ll send out someone to effectively ‘case out the joint’ before your home gets spectacularly burgled. I like to think that my varied and eccentric responses to their calls help in ‘training’ purposes.

So for instance if, at the end of a completely disastrous day, the caller asks me how I feel, they’re in for a precise and detailed account of my woes

I visited the Fair Trading website after taking a call from Jahn (John), while writing this article. He’s from the Money Saving Expert Department, he explained in abominable English. “This is a part of the Fair Trading Dept,” he said with fine irony. He wanted my name and mailing address, no doubt to send me a cheque for the $4568 the department owed me. My curiosity got the better of me and after visiting the site, I found out that there were numerous scams currently doing the gullibility circuit. Computer virus scams; tax returns scams; bank refund scams; electrical goods scams; car sales scams, even itinerant roof painting scams… they’re just out to get your hardearned cash!

There’s just one way to combat these you’re bored, take down a few relevant details and then contact the department they purport to represent, for example the Australian Taxation Office (13 28 61 or email ReportEmailFraud@ato.gov.au), the Department of Fair Trading (13 32 20), etc. Never, ever give them any personal information over the phone, don’t even confirm your name and address, even if they have these. Certainly don’t give them any personal details like your bank account number, passwords to computer, etc. And if you don’t believe me, go to www.scamwatch.gov.au, where the audacity and ingenuity of scammers is on display. Another site you could visit is www.staysmartonline.gov.au

The world seems increasingly dishonest these days, more’s the pity. And there will always be people who believe that they could get easy cash for a small investment. If only life were that easy! I have considered changing my number, but its not worth the time and hassle. For me, I realize that the key is to simply be vigilant and aware that such things exist. And hope that the scammers reading this take me off their calling lists. Some hope!!