The right kind of hope

Facing up to realistic hope could be rejuvenating for one’s psyche, but dwelling on hopeful fantasies could be highly detrimental

BY SAROJA SRINIVASAN

Time and time again we evoke the theme of hope –for example when a new year is heralded, or when someone is sick or fails to achieve something. Each time we struggle to get losses and disappointments into perspective we are comforted by hope, the thought that somehow there will be amends in the future.

We often hear the common cliché: ‘Where there is life there is hope’. This notion is quite dominant in our thoughts, in our everyday behaviour and speech. It is a very potent construct that gives us the will to continue. In many individuals suffering from depression, it is the experience of a sense of hopelessness that is very difficult to confront. Hope is a construct that is invisibly embedded in negative experiences. Yet it is the one thing we need to hold on to, and not lose in the face of misfortune.

Even in our everyday life, hope acts as a temporary relief in the face of misfortunes. Sometimes this hope is illusory but in a moment of crisis or calamity, it is hope that gets us out of the initial conundrum. It is equally important however, to turn this hope into a more realistic optimism which could become the basis for future plans. This kind of hope tends to look towards the future, allowing for new possibilities in a mature fashion.

However, there is another kind of hope. This occurs when one is not willing to make the move from an illusory hope to something more realistic.

Many people often indulge in this kind of fantasy hope, which is a dream-like state in which one escapes from harsh reality.

A common example is in gambling, when an individual pins their hopes on a fantasy indulgence of winning enormous amounts of money to solve their monetary problems instead of making some workable plans. Staying with this kind of hope that rests on fantasy very often conditions the individual to make very little real effort.

Hope is very vital for our mental well being, but which kind of hope is important? Realistic hope can set the tune for the future, while staying with illusory hope can lead to disappointment and further frustration. Illusory hope gives temporary relief from the harshness of immediate reality momentarily, so one does not descend into a vortex of negative downward spiralling.

Yet to have the ability to use the energy that this brief moment offers, to get on with more realistic plans, is absolutely vital. A certain amount of effort is required to capitalize on this brief moment. Some however, fail to make this effort and miss out on a chance to make some really important changes in their life. If the right effort is not made, it drags the individual into fanciful realms of solutions that only increase their frustration.

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