Edicts on Elections

“ Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.”

Plato

“ Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ”

Oscar Ameringer

“ Remember to vote early - and often ”

Al Capone

“ Mankind will never see an end of trouble until… lovers of wisdom come to hold political power, or the holders of power… become lovers of wisdom.”

Plato

“ When the political columnists say ‘Every thinking man’ they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to ‘Every intelligent voter’ they mean everybody who is going to vote for them.”

Franklin P Adams

“ If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side.”

Orson Scott Card

Please move forward and take action!

As India celebrates Independence Day, Australia celebrates Incontinence Day. Byron Baybased comedian SANDY GANDHI (‘Australia’s most Easterly Indian’) offers her take on the 2010 campaign so far

If there was a one-word mantra to describe the shenanigans of the Coalition and Labor’s campaigning for Election ‘10, including the tedious debate between Tony Abscess and Julia Dullard, it would be “Um” and not “Om”.

Thankfully, I was in India for the month preceding the 2007 election where most had never heard of Johnny Coward or Kevin Dudd.

On my return to Australia in mid November, the nation was exposed to some serious poll dancing, and it was time to put our left foot in and put our right foot out, put our green thumb in and stir it all around – doing the hokeypokey, it was all so bloody blokey, but that’s what it was all about.

Now we have Julia, which begs the question, what’s the best thing about having a female PM? We don’t have to pay her as much! Could be reason enough why a bunch of blokes turned on Kev. Poor old Kev, he has undergone emergency surgery ‘cause he was suffering from too much gall –that’s what happens when you say, “and you know something?” once too often.

Julia’s been moving forward so fast, it has resulted in her finding her real self as opposed to her unreal self we’ve seen so far – rumour has it her last face-to-face words to Kev were, “It’s moy turn now”.

“ Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.”

“ Elections are a good deal like marriages, there’s no accounting for anyone’s taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it’s the same with Public Officials.”

It might also be time for all our pollies to be issued with incontinence pads – for all that ‘involuntary’ leakage that is occurring. Perhaps we should be calling this Eleaktion 10 – sounds a but Kiwi.

It seems like the whole nation is experiencing a group workshopping, being urged to ‘take action’, and ‘move forward’ – personally, I’d just like some ‘closure’, thanks very much!

Check out Sandy Gandhi’s work on www.sandygandhi.com