Lasting impressions….

People matter, emphasises SUDHA

NATARJAN as she remembers the ones who will remain evergreen, forever

We silently share our moments of missing Father. Every wave that leaves the shore takes a message, and every one that returns brings back a blessing. We know, we feel, simply because we knew so well the person who could never utter a harsh word to hurt anyone’s feelings.

This was the place where we left father’s ashes to become a part of the sea he loved. He was happy to be in Australia, unlike many who yearn for their motherland. He was patriotic and when he talked about India, there was a spark of energy that caught on and kept us wondering at the way he could be happy in a foreign land. But that was father.

We enjoy being there by the sea, thinking and not talking and as seconds prolonged into minutes, there was this natural curiosity, where had the waves taken him? Does the soul stay on this land or leave with the ashes? Strange are the questions and the resulting clouds of thought… but one doesn’t really get an answer. It is time to leave and we keep looking back at the silent sea, gloriously stretched and not willing to be a part of the surrounding clamour of noises or our confused emotions.

As we make our way to the car still unwilling to leave the trail along the sea, a little plant catches our eye. How did this get here, a plant that father always had in our garden, regardless of whether he stayed in India or in Australia. Till the day he went to hospital, he would ask my nephew to take him to the garden to collect a few leaves which, he said, were rich in Vitamin C; chewing on them prevented mouth ulcers. We had not found the plant in the natural habitat of Australia, but here it is, growing by the seaside. “A coincidence,” says my nephew. Yes, yet a strange one. Why here and does this convey anything? We are searching for an answer….

I can’t help but think that we have been left with lasting impressions.

There are a few dear ones in everyone’s life that leave long-lasting imprints, while there are some who influence your thoughts, and without either of you realising it, they become a guiding light of your existence.

I have been lucky to know a few people with this gift, and my neighbour Lorraine Watson as the first on my list. When I was going through a traumatic time and had secluded myself from my family and my garden, she was there, gently persuading me to look at the outside world. She showed me that taking an interest in the issues that caused concern in the community could channel my thoughts into more positive thinking. Drawing a bigger line next to my line of sorrow made it smaller, and she was a good teacher. With motivation from Lorraine, no one could be a bad student.

Then came along my group, my lovely seniors and my involvement with RAIN gave me a new lease on life. I got to know Pragnabehn Joshi and Ushabehn Sanghvi, two ladies of untiring community spirit, and I could feel their devotion and commitment to activities like bringing friends together, organising meetings, holding spiritual gatherings and loving every moment of it. I could also see and understand that they would have brought up their families with the same or more intense level of commitment and love. Having lost their spouses would have left them feeling lonely, but they managed to bring up their children fabulously well, as good-hearted human beings, giving them the love to support themselves and the community. I have learnt a lot from these two ladies.

Meet Ujambehn Juta. Over eighty, but her alert mind abounds in practical wisdom as she talks about Bush and Obama, the need for changes for the better and compassion for the poverty stricken. More people like Ujambehn would make the world would be a better place to live in.

Aunty Nirmal silently assists wherever and whenever she can. Unassuming, non- complaining and being there for me in times of need. A totally non-intrusive, sensitive person who shows me how old age can be ideal and self-respecting.

And there’s Aunty Vasantha. When one is in pain, it can be assumed that everything else will be forgotten, but no, not with this great, caring, compassionate lady. She lies in a nursing home bed, always surrounded by her loving family or friends, and while everyone is thinking about how she could be made comfortable and how her pain could be reduced, she is concerned about the welfare of the seniors in the community.

She gently stresses on the need of help for seniors, the limitations of families, the community responsibilities…. I am humbled in her presence, I learn and I am amazed. She has lost weight, her body is engulfed in pain, but her mind is thinking of the others and ways to care for those in need. We talk about the senior care centre RAIN is planning, she is encouraging and supportive. She talks to friends who visit her, coaxes her family to take an interest…. I am more often than not, speechless when I am with her.

My list stretches on and on. I feel that I am unable to do justice to the several friends who stake a claim when I think about my past years, and especially the last three years. I would be less than human if I do not mention my mother as the most lasting influence of my life. Even now, hers is the strongest and most positive influence, which has given me the strength to pick up pieces and restructure my existence when the worst breakage happened. I have also learnt multitasking and time management from her.

I am lucky that the influences I value continue to shape my life, and leave me richer and more enlightened.