Smash Repairs

Dear Auntyji, My neighbour’s kids are driving me crazy. They’re loud and noisy, and have no respect for the elderly. In my day, children were seen, not heard, but nowadays, pata nahin kyon, they are always heard, sometimes well past midnight. When I try to tell them to keep quiet, they mock me and repeat what I say. The little boy even wags his finger back at me. Their mother spends her entire day either talking on the phone in her mother-tongue, or looking for people to talk to. My afternoon naps are now history. How do I make these little brats history?

confusing trying to interpret all the signals mation, when you really don’t have all the information yet. Trying to work out what to wear to the movies is hard enough, now they’re also bombarded with all the adult themes we didn’t have to deal with until we were in Uni. How times have changed!

They’re trying to persuade you that they’re old enough to handle themselves in this crazy world so that you will loosen the reins, yet they’re still so confused about it all. And through all this, you’re in there holding on even more tightly and trying to force them to see your point of view. You’re the adult – you should try to see theirs. It’s much easier for you to bend down low enough to see their point of view, than it is for them to reach up to yours.

If you’ve done your job well enough through the first 13 years, they know you’ll always be there through the next 13 and more. You’re the backup when they want to sit down and talk. You’re the shoulder to cry on. And you should make sure that you have a shoulder as well, when you need it. Because letting go is so much harder than finding a way to hang on. Soon, you’ll realise that you’re not locked out anymore.

Grumpy Grandma, Wentworthville

Dear Grumpy Grandma,

I suggest you move house. Some kids nowadays have very little respect for their parents, so its not likely that they’ll even listen to you. Parents have a way of explaining the racket their kids make by simply saying, ‘They’re just being kids!’ or blaming it on ADHD. Of course, I can’t imagine what they’re doing awake beyond midnight, maybe their parents are asleep. If moving house is not an option, take the civilized approach and explain to the mother, in polite but simple terms, that she needs to keep her kids quiet, at least after 10pm. If this doesn’t work either, counterattack would be the best solution. If you can’t beat them, join them. When their house is quiet, presumably because the kids are napping or in bed, make as much noise as you can. Talk loudly, knock over kitchen utensils, turn up the volume on the radio or TV, listen to bhajans at full blast, until they finally wake up. Their parents should finally get this not-too-subtle hint, and if they still don’t, use the final weapon – get yourself a really good pair of earplugs.