Lesson 1: Positive self-image – body image

Introduction

We will cover a number of themes in this unit and learn more about each. The following is a brief introduction to these themes.

Your self-image determines what you will think of yourself and also affects the successful achievement of your ideals. Self-image also concerns your body image. This is what you think about your body. You need to respect your body and those of other people. It is important to accept yourself for who you are.

Every person has certain interests, abilities and potential. It depends on you how you use your abilities and interests to reach your full potential. It is important for you to know what your interests, your abilities and your potential are. You need to create opportunities to use these qualities to your own advantage.

Peer pressure is not an unfamiliar concept. You see it happening every day. You need to handle peer pressure correctly. Negative peer pressure may have adverse consequences for a person. Finally, we will consider problem-solving skills and how to apply them in conflict situations.

Lesson 1 Positive self-image – body image

1.1 Understand and respect changes in your body

You have probably noticed that your body has started changing over the past few years. We call this stage puberty. Puberty starts around age nine and ends at around age 17. In this stage, your body will undergo various changes. You will also experience emotional changes. It is a difficult stage of growing up and it is therefore extremely important to talk to someone if you feel uncertain about what is happening to your body.

Take anyone close to you into your confidence – your mom, your dad, an older sibling or anyone else you trust and feel comfortable with enough to share things. We need to respect the changes in our body as well as the differences between various people. You are a unique person and must identify your own uniqueness and self-awareness. Try to look at yourself properly when standing in front of a mirror.

Do the following activity to test whether you have good self-awareness.

Activity 1

1. Write down two characteristics of yourself. 2. Describe your personality. 3. Do you know yourself? How do you deal with challenges? Are you self-assured and self-assertive? 4. How do you act when you are in a conflict situation? 5. What are your weaknesses and your strengths? 6. Name at least two ways in which you deal with stress and pressure at school and at home.

If you were able to answer the activity honestly, then it means that you have a great idea of who you are. This is an excellent quality!

Activity 2

1. Find a photograph of yourself when you were eight years old and a recent photo (when you are 11 or 12 years old). 2. Paste the photos in your workbook. 3. Study the photos with a friend or your facilitator. 4. Do you still look the same as when you were eight years old? 5. How did your body change in the past three to four years? 6. How do you think you need to respect your friends when their bodies start changing? 7. How do you think you need to respect the changes in your own body?

Various changes take place in the bodies of boys and girls during puberty.

Girls: ● Put on weight and become taller. ● Shape of the face changes. ● Skin changes – the skin produces more oil and may cause pimples/acne. ● Hair starts growing under the arms and on the genitals. ● The heart enlarges and becomes heavier, and blood pressure changes. ● Breasts grow and hips become wider.

Boys: ● Put on weight and become taller. ● Shape of the face changes. ● Skin changes – the skin produces more oil and may cause pimples/acne. ● Voice becomes deeper. ● Hair starts growing under the arms, on the genitals, face, back, arms and legs. ● The heart enlarges and becomes heavier, and blood pressure changes.

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Activity 3

1. Do you think we need to respect the changes in our friends’ bodies, or can we make jokes about them? 2. How would you feel if someone made negative comments about your changing body? 3. How do you think we can help our friends feel comfortable about their changing bodies? 4. What can you do to make the changes easier for yourself?

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1.2 Other influences on body image: media and community

Communication involves sending and receiving messages. Communication takes place through the media, e.g., newspapers, magazines, television, the internet, social media, movies and radio. We are all affected by what we see, hear and read. In many cases, your decisions are influenced by what you read in magazines or see on television.

Messages broadcast by the media are extremely powerful and reach many people. They may be positive, for instance the importance of good eating habits; or negative, such as advertisements creating a need to have a certain product. Television advertisements show that young people abusing alcohol are very cheerful and seem to lead a happy life. Unfortunately, they do not also demonstrate the dire consequences of alcohol abuse; instead, they give us a deceptive image of life. Television programmes also often create a distorted view of life. People forget that stories on television are not real and try to live like some of the characters depicted on television.

The media puts a great deal of pressure on people, especially on teenagers, to have a certain look. When you watch all the pretty models and film stars, you want to look exactly like them. The media uses different techniques such as Photoshop to ensure the photos are perfect. It creates a misperception among young people of what is regarded as ‘perfect’. Teenagers are easily influenced, as they are in a stage of life where they are uncertain of themselves and are still learning about themselves. The media uses this fact to target and influence teenagers.

Activity 4

Study the photos and answer the questions that follow.

(See the colour copy in the colour addendum.)

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1. Can you notice any differences between these two photos? 2. What do you think this process of improvement is called? 3. Do you think it reflects a true image of the person? 4. Do you think it may create a wrong impression of beauty among teenagers? 5. Why do you say that?

The media especially features movie stars and models in their advert campaigns. These people are usually held up as role models for teenagers. Teenagers want to be like them and look like them. This may cause problems if the person is not a positive role model. The model may be extremely skinny, or he or she may smoke and drink excessively. It may lead to the teenager imitating that person and doing the very same things to be like this person.

Let us look at two examples:

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Activity 5

1. Write down everything you like about your body. 2. Which things about your body do you dislike? 3. How will you describe the perfect body? 4. Do you think that most people have perfect bodies? 5. What will influence your idea of a perfect body? 6. What do you think is more important – what you look like or how you behave? 7. Do you think it is more important to be beautiful on the inside than on the outside? 8. When you page through magazines and see all the ‘perfect’ people, how does it make you feel about yourself? 9. Do you think you have a good body image? Give a reason for your answer.

The community in which you live may also influence the way you see your body. You may be different from the majority of people in your community and may feel that you are not accepted. In some African cultures, it is acceptable to be overweight; it is even regarded as a status symbol. In many Western cultures, however, it is more acceptable to be slender and even extremely thin.

1.3 Accepting yourself

The most important step anyone can ever take in his/her life is to accept himself/ herself. You may decide to accept yourself just as you are without changing anything, or you may decide to learn certain skills to enable you to grow and develop.

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All of us are different, with different personalities and different body shapes. Some people are tall and slim, while others are short and plump. Perhaps you would like to change a few things about your body. You may want to lose weight or become fitter; however, some things you cannot change, for instance, the shape of your nose or ears. You may choose to be sad and self-conscious about it, or you may accept it and love yourself, irrespective of your ‘defects’. By taking care of your body and looking after it well, you can be proud of who you are.

Strategies to help me accept myself for who I am:

● Always focus on your positive qualities, like your shiny hair. ● Change whatever you can, for instance, by losing extra weight. ● Laugh at yourself and accept yourself, “defects” and all. ● Do not compare yourself to others – you are unique. ● Take care of your body and love it every day. ● Take pride in your appearance.

Activity 6

1. Make a self-acceptance list. This list should contain all the qualities you like about yourself. Include things about your body and your personality. 2. Put your list on the wall where you can see it every day. 3. Read it every day.

1.4 Read about a positive body image

Read the following passage.

Accept yourself and focus on things that make you happy

Do you like your body? Many children and teenagers are unhappy with their body image. They admire film stars, models and sports stars and want to look like them. What they don’t realise is that photos and videos of famous people are often ‘corrected’ to hide bad skin, less than perfect bellies and legs and other ‘problems’ Sometimes actors even use body doubles to hide their flaws. The images we see are not realistic – it is how people in the film, magazine and advertising world dictate how a person should look.

Pressure from the media, friends and family may make you feel unhappy about the way you look. You may try unhealthy diets or become shy and uncertain of yourself. It is important to talk to your parents and friends when you feel this way, so that they can help you create a positive body image.

You have a positive body image when you realise and accept that: ● human bodies come in different shapes and sizes. ● your body size and weight does not predict whether you will be happy, successful or healthy. ● each person is unique, with different talents, abilities and skills. ● images in the media is unrealistic and is used to sell products (such as clothes).

Compare yourself with people in your family. Do you have your dad’s nose or smile? Or your grandmother’s lovely voice and curly hair? When you were conceived, your mother and father each passed down some of their genes to you, so that you inherited some of their characteristics or even some from your grandparents. You cannot change most of these characteristics, but you can choose to focus on what you like about yourself and work on that – a good voice can be trained to sing well or strong legs run fast.

It is also important to look after yourself and take good care of your body. Eat healthy food; maintain good personal hygiene and put on clean clothes; get enough sleep; play and do activities you enjoy; care for and share with others; avoid unhealthy cigarette smoke and alcohol, and be positive and happy.