ACTIVITY 5

Let’s look at a few examples of conflict:

Situation 1

Clara and Mina have been friends since Grade 1. They do everything together. This past holiday Clara and her parents visited friends of her parents’. Their daughter, Erica, is the same age as Clara. Clara and Erica became good friends and now they visit each other all the time. It makes Mina sad. She feels like she has lost her best friend. Clara does not really want to talk to Mina about it. She is avoiding the situation.

Situation 2

John and Nick are best friends. John asks Nick to come play Xbox at his house. Nick says no, because he wants to go to his brother’s rugby match. John tells Nick he wants to come along to the match. Nick says: “No! I want to do something alone for a change.” It hurts John’s feelings. When John arrives at school on Monday morning, he sees Nick hanging out and talking with a new group of friends. John goes to Nick and becomes very angry. He says things he should not have said. Now they do not speak to one another anymore.

ACTIVITY 5

Compare the two situations above. Discuss it with your facilitator and give your opinion on how each person handled the situation. Who do you think handled the conflict appropriately? Why do you say so?

3.2 Strategies to avoid conflict

There are different ways to handle, or even avoid, conflict. Even if you and someone else has a difference of opinion, you can sort it out before it becomes a serious conflict. If you yell and fight, it makes the conflict much worse. It is important to calmly tell people how you feel. There are various ways in which you can react to avoid conflict: • Explain to the other person how you feel in a calm and respectful manner. • Keep your emotions in check. Try not to scream and hit. • Calm down before you talk to the person. Count to 20 or take a five minute break. • Keep in mind that the other person does not have to agree with you. It is okay for people to have different opinions. • Respect the other person’s opinion. • Look for a solution that would suit both people.

3.3 Appropriate reactions to conflict

There are positive and negative ways to resolve conflict. The way conflict is handled influences the result and what happens afterwards. You do not really want to say things to someone that you will regret later.