IMPACT! Positive Change
IMPACT! Positive Change
IMPACT! Positive Change
Nov 2013
POSITIVE CHANGE
FEARLESS ONE WOMANS STORY OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND HER
ESCAPE
RANDALL TOBY FROM
HOMELESSNESS TO EMPOWERING OTHERS
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The vy o o r G Projects
NATE LOMBARDI INSPIRING KIDS THROUGH MUSIC AND THE ARTS
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IMPACT! Positive Change Magazine is a magazine created to promote positive change through inspiring, educating and motivating our readers. We are a platform that allows charities to advertise free of charge to promote their events. We highlight humanitarians, philanthropist and charities for extraordinary work they do for their community. There are also many who have made amazing transformations in their life for the better and by telling their story in our magazine it will help to inspire others. The magazine will also highlight positive lifestyle changes which include but are not limited to, health, fitness and nutrition, emotional health, and conscious/inner growth. We are currently looking for writers and content contributors for these topics as well as other topics that would be important for our magazine as we grow. As a free, online, non-profit magazine, donation money from for-profit business ad placements will be used towards maintaining and improving the magazine and reaching the goal of being able to distribute in our schools, hospitals, and shelters. We are dedicated to inspiring those who need it most. In our society today at times it can be difficult to find the positive. We hope to inspire change, a positive change.
1. To advertise with us. For more info email us at : info@impactpc.org 2. You can go to our Facebook page and “like� at: www.facebook.com/impactpositivechange and follow us on Twitter:@impact_pc and help spread the word about what we are doing. IMPACT! POSITIVE CHANGE
TABLE OF
CONTENTS
Pg.8
FEARLESS: ONE WOMANS STORY OF DOMESTICE VIOLENCE AND HER ESCAPE I write this with hopes of reaching out to at least 1 person, whoever you are. I’m here to tell you that it is going to be ok and it will get...
THE GROOVY PROJECTS, NATE LOMBARDI:
Pg.16
INSPIRING KIDS THROUGH MUSIC AND THE ARTS This month we have the honor of presenting to you Nate Lombardi of The Groovy Projects. He has been a true ...
#YOU’RE NOT ALONE CAMPAIGN Pg.21
Nate Lombardi along with Claudia Hehr decided to get twenty two models together for a photo shoot. They asked
these brave indiviudals to tell them their insecurities...
Pg.28
RANDALL E. TOBY: FROM HOMLESSNESS TO EMPOWERING OTHERS Born in Brooklyn, New York Randall E. Toby is the founder of the Magnificent Men Mentoring Group, Randall E. Toby...
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FEARL SCS ONE WOMANS STORY OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND HER
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SS CAPE
Written by a brave Anonymous survivor.
I write this with hopes of reaching out to at least 1 person, whoever you are. I’m here to tell you that it is going to be ok and it will get better. Let me begin by telling you my story. I was in an unhealthy relationship with a man whom we will call Michael. I loved him very much. Although it wasn’t always bad in the beginning, there were red flags that I chose to ignore. He always wanted to control my every move and was very possessive. It was his way or else. I met him when I was 20yrs old and I had a daughter who was one year old at the time. Her father was out of the picture 3 months into my pregnancy which at the time I believed to be the most pain I would ever endure. I was working hard to make ends meet, like any other expecting mother. Michael and I became friends but that quickly led to a relationship. He was good to me and my daughter. She loved him and he loved her. Months after we started dating I got laid off from my job. He immediately started helping out with everything that had to do with my daughter. He showed genuine love and care for us both which was so important to me. He was doing more for my daughter than her father was which made my love for him grow. We got along so well and he made happy and always made me laugh. He made me feel like nothing bad could ever happen to me while I was with him. He was so supportive and always made sure the baby and I were ok. He made sure we had food in the apartment and the baby had everything she needed. He also put money in my pocket and helped me search for work. While I appreciated all his help, I also noticed how he always kept tabs on me. It was
imperative that he know my every move and if he didn’t he would become very upset. I felt like I was being interrogated. If I was at one place and I left, I had to let him know when I was leaving and where I was going. After a year of dating I found work in a night club, because of the odd work hours I decided that my daughter should stay with my mother while I found a more stable job and could get back on my feet. That was the hardest decision I ever had to make in my life. I worked and sent my mother money as much as I could. After that year, Michael and I decided to move in together. Everything was going well until one day he suffered an injury at work and had to stop working until he healed. Like I mentioned before Michael wasn’t always bad, he was a hardworking man and he liked to be the provider. When he suffered his accident all that changed, he was no longer the full provider. I stepped up and took care of most of the bills while he received workers comp which helped. I was making good enough money to take care of everything but I believe the longer he stayed without work he became more frustrated and aggravated. I also believe he felt somewhat emasculated by the situation. He started to drink more excessively. The more he drank the more frustrated he became with his situation. I would tell him not to let his situation get him down and reassured him he would be working again in no time. I would tell him that this is only temporary and everything will get better. One night we had what I thought was a minor disagreement about money. The argument escalated and he slapped me. I was in complete shock and also disbelief. I couldn’t believe what he had just done. He didn’t apologize at first, later that night he apologized and promised it wouldn’t happen again. Little did I know this was just the beginning…
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One night a few months later I was waiting for him to pick me up from work. He was about 30-40 min late. The more I waited the more aggravated I became, but I knew better than to say anything. When he finally arrived I got in the car and could smell liquor seeping out of his pores. He seemed to be in a good mood, so I didn’t want to argue with him. He told me he had been in a BBQ and had lost track of time. As he handed me a plate of food he said, “I brought you some food, I figured you were going to be hungry”. I told him thank you and held it. We went one block down and stopped for a red light. All of a sudden he started yelling at me telling me how ungrateful I was. He took the plate out of my hands and threw it out the window. He then punched me in the face and my head hit the passenger side window. He hit me a couple more times and then pulled the car over. He pulled me out and put me up against the car and started to hit again. He suddenly stopped and told me to leave. So I began to run back towards the club but he jumped back in the car and reversed it in the direction I was headed. When he got out the car he said, “How dare you run away from me?” He began to hit once again. At one point I fell to the ground and he dragged me by my hair. I was wearing a skirt so my legs started to bleed. He dragged me to light post. He made me face the light post while he went on the opposite side of. He then grabbed my head and pulled it to the post as to slam my head on it. I immediately placed my hands flat in front of my head. So every time he slammed my head I would hit the back of my hands instead of the post. Had I not done that I truly believe I would’ve been dead. He then put me back in the car and made me drive home. As I drove home he proceeded to punch me. He even burned my arm with his cigarette over and over. He did this the entire drive home which was about 20 minutes. That had to be the longest drive ever. When we got home I parked the car and we started to walk to the apartment.
He was pushing me and telling me I was worthless. He also told me that he was going to tie me up to keep hitting me when we got upstairs. I had never seen him so angry but I feared that if I did go upstairs he was going to kill me. So the first chance I had I ran. I heard him running after me telling me to stop running. I ran to a cab station that was around the block and hid up against a wall. I told the dispatcher to please get me a cab. He came in the cab station but somehow he didn’t see me, I swore he had seen me. When the cab came I ran to it and noticed him at the corner. I quickly jumped in the car and stayed close to the floor. I told the driver to take me to my sisters’ apartment. I wanted to go back to my family and where I felt safe. When I arrived at my sisters’ apartment, imagine how I must have looked. I was bleeding so much my family immediately called an ambulance and they rushed me to the hospital. They couldn’t ride in the ambulance with me so they met me in the hospital. When the cops came to ask me what had happened I said nothing. Nothing at all. I just wanted to go home. They told me my sister and nephew (who is my age) were waiting outside. I felt safe again. However, that feeling didn’t last long. Michael showed up at the hospital. To this day I don’t know how he found me, but he did. He came into my room and threatened to hurt my family if I said anything to the cops and told me I had to leave the hospital with him. So I did exactly what he told me to do. I felt like I had put my family in danger and I wouldn’t be able to live with my self if something were to happen to them because of me. So to avoid any more problems I decided leaving with him was best option at the time. Hurting me was better than him hurting my family. We didn’t speak much in the car on the way home. When we arrived he fell asleep instantly and meanwhile I was up for hours crying. Hours later when he woke up he seemed shocked to see me with 2
black eyes, a busted lip, and bruises all over me. One of my thighs was so badly hurt I couldn’t lay on it or I would get blood on the sheets. I also had 2 swollen fingers. Needless to say, he spent the next week apologizing and nursing me back to health. He said it would never happen again. I was completely and utterly afraid of him and what he was capable of doing to me. The abuse continued for another 3 years. There were times I would fight back but I got it worse those times. He would always apologize. I feared that one day he would he hit me so hard that he would kill me. He had a way with his words; he knew what to say to me to make me feel so low. My self esteem was at an all time low. I started to believe every bad thing he had to say about me. I also believed I would never be able to escape him. I felt alone and sometimes even felt a sense of abandonment. I was afraid to ask for help because I didn’t want to bring anyone any problems or drama. I tried leaving him twice but he would then act like the man I first met. He would always promise to change but didn’t. Michael and I were together for almost 7 years. By the fourth year, the physical abuse just ended but the mental and emotional abuse he caused was just as unbearable. Unfortunately I can’t say which was worse. I still feared him. I was afraid that he was just suppressing the “beast” and the day he would let it out no one would be able to save me. Then one day around my birthday I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and left for good. I moved back in with my sister. Once again he started acting right and doing things I had wanted him to do when we were together. He even proposed. He didn’t understand the fact that I feared him so much it would paralyze me.
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IMPACT! POSITIVE CHANGE
feared him finding me all the time. I had good days and I also had my bad days. I decided the only way to be “safe” was to learn to defend myself. I started to take self defense classes such as Brazilian Ju Jitsu, Kickboxing and MMA. You’d be surprised how empowering those classes can be. My daughter is taking Martial Arts as well because I never want her to feel weak and defenseless. Overcoming fear like this can be very hard; my suggestion is not to give up hope. It can be done. Writing this was a big step towards beating that fear. I was afraid to write this at first, but now I’m glad I did. Surround yourself with positive people that love you and make you stronger. People that lift you up and also motivate you to do great things and move forward. You need to be able to talk to someone that will listen and will let you pour your heart out. I promise it will help… A few months went by and I started dating a friend I had met a year before. We’ll call him “David”. David was the complete opposite from Michael. David made me feel absolutely beautiful and special. He always gave me strength. He made feel unstoppable. I was able to be myself around David. I never told David about what I had gone thru with Michael because I was embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I was also afraid of losing him if he ever found out. Michael kept coming by my sisters’ apartment trying to get me back. I told him I was seeing someone and he became furious saying that I was cheating on him. I knew he was waiting to find me with David and I was afraid of that, but I never told David. I was afraid that if I told David he would want to confront Michael, and then I feared that they would fight and if David hurt Michael I knew I would pay the consequences. It was an emotional roller coaster. Although I wasn’t with Michael, I still feared him. Every time David and I went
out I was afraid to bump into Michael. I always had to look over my shoulder. It would take the fun away from things I was doing. The only time I “relaxed” was when I knew there was no chance of him being in the same area. Michael never really left my life sometimes I felt he still controlled me. As time went by I believed he thought I would leave David and go back to him. When he finally saw it wasn’t happening he became aggressive again. He didn’t hit but he knew how to get me so afraid I wouldn’t leave my apartment. It became so bad I decided I had to leave the state. I left. I picked up everything I had and left with my daughter to begin a new life. I left my family behind, whom I miss so much. I knew that would be the only way to escape him. I changed my number and left everyone and everything I knew to come and find peace of mind. I felt more at ease but the fear was still there at first. I was afraid of accidentally bumping into one of his friends or someone that knew me and Michael and then letting him know where I was. I
So again I write this for you, that woman that feels isolated, alone and that think she could never escape. I’m here to tell you, You Can Do It!! Don’t lose hope, don’t lose faith. Most importantly don’t stop loving YOURSELF.
Sincerely, A woman working on being, FEARLESS!! Please send all emails regarding this article to info@impactpc.org and we will make sure she gets them.
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This month we have the honor of presenting to you Nate Lombardi of The Groovy Projects. He has been a true inspiration to many and that is why the photo which was shot for the “You’re Not Alone” campaign, is used as our cover for the November issue of IMPACT! Positive Change Magazine. We met with Nate recently and became instantly inspired by what he has accomplished and the goals he has set forth for himself and The Groovy Projects. We are truly glad there are people out there like Nate Lombardi who sacrifice so much of themselves to help others. The Groovy Projects is a character development/anti-bully organization that creates artistic and fun experiences founded by Nate Lombardi and Tony/Emmy Award Winner Jennifer Maloney-Prezioso. Through community building and soul-searching activities such as beatboxing, body percussion, writing lyrics, theatrical games, photography, drawing, music videos and short movies, the students experience how special each and every one of them are. This also helps them realize that they have the power to make everyone IMPACT! POSITIVE CHANGE
around them feel “Two Inches Taller.” The Groovy Projects shows that interactive experiences like these, in their formative years can point students in a whole new trajectory with perspective on what type of person they want to become. There four core team members of The Groovy Projects are Nate, Jenn, Alanna Gayle Carter, and Hadley Schnuck. There are also two on the periphery team who are Venus Fancois and Betsy Baydala. Nate also has friends and acquaintances that come out of the woodwork to lend a hand like Claudia Hehr did for the Photo Campaign, who Nate says is an incredible support. He also mentions the wonderful Stella Rankin from Pinch who went way above and beyond for their first “Fun” Fundraiser. Although there are some challenges with establishing connections to schools, multitasking, and celebrities committing to the fundraisers, Nate says it’s all worth it. Nate Lombardi came from a family of teachers and camp counselors. Both of his sisters, in-laws and parents have been teachers in their lifetimes. He received his substitute teacher’s license in New York City in order to volunteer at a public school in Brownsville, Brooklyn. Although labeled a “high risk” school, he was incredibly
NATE LOMBARDI INSPIRING KIDS THROUGH MUSIC AND THE ARTS Photo by Claudia Hehr Photography
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Founders Nate Lombardi & Jennifer Maloney-Prezioso moved by the students and their amazing talents they had to offer. Last year he had the privilege to work with the children of Madison Oneida BOCES, become a docent at the Museum of Tolerance, volunteer for Revolution Latina’s Summer Camp and for the Born Brave Bus Tour. He also hosted The Karen Klein Foundation’s No Bully Tour.
get involved in his/her lessons. If he can get them laughing, moving and challenging themselves he says, “ it will open up their mouths & chests for me to reach in and touch their brains & hearts. It’s so important to show them this positive option as they are forming their opinions of this world.”
Nate has always wanted to affect and inspire children in a major way. He hopes to empower youth across the country with games, presentation and artistic projects. He also believes the most effective way to make a lasting impression on a student is for them to physically and emotionally
Professionally, Nate has had roles on TV/Film Sex and the City, Mercy, As the World Turns, One Life to Live, and See You in September. On stage he has performed in Broadway Bares, The Firebugs, and Easter Bonnet. He has also produced and created 5 albums and a dozen music videos under the name of “NateKid.”
IMPACT! POSITIVE CHANGE
He is constantly working on his craft and always finding ways to improve whether it is writing music and lyrics, taking ballet, beat-boxing, body percussion or by practicing the various instruments he knows how to play. Much of what inspires Nate comes from Teachers, Parents, and celebrities such as Adam Web, Daniel Watts Jr, Sammy Davis Jr, Gene Kelly, Bill Gates, and Michael Jackson, just to name a few. What also inspired Nate is the arts and talent, great love affairs, acts of kindness and the great city of New York.
Nate’s dream is to make a real change in this world, to uplift people through art and change their lives by giving them inspiration and resources. Nate says, “I try to make people feel two inches taller when I meet them. I’m trying to help shape our future generations to learn how to treat each other with kindness, empathy and passion.” As you can see Nate Lombardi is very passionate about what he does and his passion is contagious to everyone who is around him. When we met Nate for the first time, we instantly wanted to get involved and help in any way possible. Helping others is what this world needs more of. In conclusion, Nate’s favorite quote by Gandhi, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
Photo by Julia Getty For more info: Please visit The Groovy Projects at www.thegroovyprojects.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheGroovyProjects
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IT’S CAMPAIGNS LIKE THIS THAT GIVE US STRENGTH, COURAGE AND INSPIRATION WHEN WE NEED IT MOST.
Nate Lombardi along with Claudia Hehr decided to get twenty two models together for a photo shoot. They asked these brave indiviudals to tell them their insecurities and place them next to their photo. The “You’re Not Alone” campaign is an anti-bully campaign designed to let others know that they are not alone. Lets face it, we all have our own insecurities sometimes we think we are alone. For more info about the “You’re Not Alone” campaign please go to www.facebook.com/TheGroovyProjects. On the following page there are some behind the scene photos of the 1st, “You’re Not Alone” photo shoot. All photos by Claudia Hehr Photography.
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IMPACT! POSITIVE CHANGE
On October 7, 2013 The Groovy Projects hosted its’ 1st Annual “Fun”draiser at the Ludlow Studios here in New York City. We were blown away by the talent that came out to support and dedicated their time out of their busy schedules. Magicians, jugglers and tap dancers performed as well as Broadway performers and Grammy/Tony Award Winning musicians. This night was spectacular and filled with so many kind-spirited, giving people. Claudia Hehr, once again photographed more brave models for the “You’re Not Alone” campaign along with makeup artist, Seevon Chau. Stella and Pinch Food Design made delicious food for all the guests and speciality drinks. If you would like to know how you can donate, please go to www.fracturedatlas.org/ site/fiscal/profile?id=3022
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Entrepreneur / Motivational Speaker / Philanthropist
RANDALL E. TOBY FROM HOMELESNESS TO EMPOWERING OTHERS
Born in Brooklyn, New York Randall E. Toby is the founder of the Magnificent Men Mentoring Group, Randall E. Toby & Associates and Co-Founder of Claudia & Ran’s Handcrafted Soaps and Candles. Randall E. Toby & Associates provides Key Note and Motivational speakers as well as develops custom workshops for schools, churches, non-profit organizations and small businesses. Their life coaching team also develops goal setting programs for individuals seeking to be more productive and focused on their business or professional development. Randall E. Toby & Associates goal is to also have a long term positive effect on the communities that they serve. There is a division that solely focuses on under served communities. They discuss issues such as health and wellness, employment strategies, overcoming poverty and financial literacy. Included is a seminar that discusses effects of incarceration which often
plagues many lower income families. When I was nine years of age my mother suffered a mental breakdown which resulted in her losing her job. Eventually our family was evicted from our Brooklyn apartment and we were homeless. We rode the number 2 train for several weeks until we were eventually approved for welfare. My younger brother Glenn and I visited our mother in a mental institution on several occasions which was quite painful, it was where she was finally diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. It was these challenges that lead me to say that for the rest of my life I would turn my “Situation into my motivation.” Thanks to God’s grace my mother is now doing well and living in Atlanta with my younger sister Judy. Ever since I was a young child I was often asked to say grace at dinner either at home or while visiting family IMPACT! POSITIVE CHANGE
and friends. When I was 4 or 5 years old my uncle told my mother that I was anointed and would grow up to either become a lawyer or preacher because I would never stop talking. Many years later when I attended a variety of business networking events the members would often choose me first to speak or lead the meetings. What I finally realized was that I had an obligation to use what I was given and needed to stop running from my blessing. I finally accepted my gift when I became a member of the African American Business and Professional Network in Southern New Jersey. That was when I joined the Board of Directors and served as its Membership Chairman. I was the facilitator and was very successful at reaching out to small businesses and potential new members. I have also worked as an Account Manager in 2012 for a company in Brooklyn, New York which works with men and women who have criminal backgrounds seek employment. My ability to educate, motivate and inspire those who had gone through many barriers forced me to acknowledge the fact that I was one of God’s many messengers and what I thought for many years was a burden actually helped me to relate to the men and women that I served. Our organization is a family run business which includes my wife Claudia, business partner Kareem Edwards and his wife Shemeka. Each person brings a wealth of knowledge and experience in a variety of areas including sales, marketing, health and wellness. One of the biggest challenges we face is the same as many small businesses. We are self- financed so IMPACT! POSITIVE CHANGE
cash flow and having a tight budget to make sure every dollar counts is always a challenge.
do not allow others to take me off track of what I was born to do and let God take care of the rest.
I must say that one of the things that inspires me the most is to see another human being literally grow in front of my very eyes. This includes a corporate executive who had problems managing or relating to his or her staff prior to attending one of their workshops. However, my greatest satisfaction is to witness a single mother, former gang member or even a drug addict finally tale control of their lives and not allow their past mistakes to destroy their future. When we speak at a homeless shelter, school or non-profit organization we often reach those who benefit the most from our services. All of my past mistakes, personal trials and tribulations have truly prepared me for the many obstacles that I may face going forward in my life. I truly Thank God for the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others.
I also currently provide training for a New York City based company that has contracts with the city of New York. I travel between their Harlem and Madison Avenue offices where I am part of the development and implementation of a variety of workshops including interview skills, resume writing, presentation skills and overcoming barriers to employment.
I am also the founder of the Magnificent Men Mentoring Group which sole purpose is to encourage men to make healthier life choices and truly understand the principles of manhood. We want them to be a positive influence at home, in our communities and make better decisions in life. The quarterly meetings are held at a variety of locations in New York, Southern New Jersey and Philadelphia. One of my mentors is Mychal Sledge a renowned Harlem native who runs a local youth group. He still offers words of encouragement when things get tough. His message to me is to stay focused on my goals,
For more info contact Randall E. Toby at info@randalltoby.com Phone: 888 754-0306 www.randalltoby.com
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