Impact Magazine - Issue 204 - June 2010

ISSUE 204 | JUNE 2010 | WWW.IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

on the streets are we wrong to stereotype britain’s homeless?

Summer party 2010

images from europe’s largest student festival

Feasible or laughable?

Su election pledges under the spotlight

Editorial

N

ever has the Impact office housed so many hungover journalists.

The days since the end of exams have seen the preparation of these pages dominated by body odour and Summer Party afflictions. Unfortunately, the air-conditioning only served to disperse the stench evenly across the room. As such, please show a little mercy for that awry typo.

over 46 articles, 6 preview videos and hundreds of images. You can still view all our coverage at http:// impactnottingham.com/varsity.

You may wish to know that you are one of the lucky 2000 to receive our last edition this academic year: we’ve slashed our print-run with the result being this exclusive edition (it isn’t anything to do with our bank account balance, honestly).

I guess it’s a question that many of us will face soon, especially those in their final year at this fine institution; am I following my heart or am I just in this for the money and prestige? How do you measure your personal success if only by monetary value alone? And this gets to the crux of Impact, like any SRS, you do it for the love, the people and the experience. Who gives a crap if my overdraft is maxedout? I’m content and absolutely love my life here in Nottingham.

So, what has Impact actually done this year under my tyrannical reign?

We’ve ventured into new territory by covering the SU Elections where we became the source for insider information, breaking every single story to be had. This included threatened SU Exec resignations, removal of candidates and our live coverage with over 500 comments throughout the night.

The year also saw our most comprehensive coverage of the Varsity Series ever. Headed-up by Hattie Hamilton, Associate Editor, each event was attended by Impact reporters and producers generating

Perhaps my proudest moment this year, however, was meeting some of our ex-Alumni. It’s rather flattering to be praised by the old pros, many of whom have remained within the journalism industry and many others who just followed their heart.

Today, someone at Impact thanked me for the opportunity of working with us. And in the same light I’d like to thank everyone who gave me this opportunity. It’s been a wild ride and I’ll miss the magazine, the people and the experience dearly.

James

editorial

design

Web

Editor-in-Chief James Sanderson

Design Editor Charles Walker

Web Editor Philip Morton

Editor Lucy Hayes

Associate Design Editor Andrew Speer

Associate Web Editor Steph Hartley

Managing Editor Scott Perkins Associate Editors Sophia Levine Hattie Hamilton Libby Galvin

Image Editors Bruno Albutt Clarita Floyd-Sanchez Caroline Wijnbladh

publicity PR and Distribution Manager Martha McNaughton

section editors News Editors Dave Jackson Ben McCabe Justine Moat Sports Editors Thomas Allnutt Jean-Luc Bragard Max McLaren Travel Editors Alex Kasozi Chloe Painter

02

Issue 204

Style Editors Paul Barlow Grace Gordon

Music Editors Angus Drummond Chris Jones

Arts Editors Victoria Carter Anne Moore

Nights Editors Nina Sorensen Katie Cook Sam Tully

Film Editors Hannah Coleman Joe Cunningham

Science and Technology Editors Ben Griffin Aarohi Sharma

204

contents

2 EDITORIAL 5 news Are we losing our books?

Cheat your way to success

Features

10 SPORT

Can Capello bring it home?

A football season to forget

Image by Matt Turner

15 HOMELESSNESS Homelessness in Nottingham: take another look

19 SU promises If you vote for me I promise to bill you £17,000 to look into the feasability of a hopper bus

24 Conjuring

confidence

Dazzle your graduate employers with newfound magic skills

26 Country Girl You can take the country girl out of the country but you can’t take the country our of the girl.

20 Sex work

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

Catherine Elms asks some pertinent questions about the legality of the sex trade

22 Eurovision

Maybe if we took it more seriously...?

28 blairism

Education, Education, Commercialisation

Image by Bruno Albutt

23 In Defence of christianity

Ethics and morality are peculiar without religion.

30 Summer party highlights

The best photos from a scorching day

regulars Image by Leon Ferri

34 spare parts A Guide To… Winning Fame and Fortune TrueLad.com

35 SU Newsletter The latest from the Students’ Union

52 music Summer festivals Impact recommends... Yeasayer

56 film I hate Glee A vindication of the rights of Michael Bay

37 style Alley Kats Top three must have summer items

Travel A semester in NYC 24 hours in Warsaw

HUNTING FOR GOLD IN THE OCEAN PAGE 18 Image by Tara Wallace

45 Arts Results of Impact Art’s competition Uneven Geographies @ Nottingham Contemporary

49 nights Best of Nottingham Awards

60 science

The great science ed. debate Farmville: Are we addicted?

62 famous last words

Impact interviews Dick and Dom

63 gratis Mad but true Win some funky flip flops JUNE 2010

03

letters to the magazine

Image by Tristan Bejawn

In response to ‘Lenton’s Law’ by Emily Goodyear Fiona Corbett, Forum Manager at Dunkirk and Lenton Partnership Forum

I

would like the opportunity to respond to the article, ‘Lenton’s Law’ recently published in Impact magazine. I am writing on behalf of the Dunkirk and Lenton Partnership Forum, a community organization dedicated to working with local people, voluntary groups and organizations to improve the area for those who live, work and study here.

The article gives the impression that “the powers that be” and the University do not provide information relating to crime nor highlight the risks for students living in Lenton. The Forum works with the Police, Nottingham City Council and the University of Nottingham to inform and consult people in the area on a variety of issues including crime. Sessions offering Computech to students have run over the last year, the Off Campus Student Affairs Manager provides alerts to students directly relating to crimes in the area, students are flyered with information relating to crime prevention and the Forum holds regular community meetings, open to all living in Lenton and Dunkirk, where crime figures are stated and any issues can be discussed face to face with local police officers and CPOs. There are no hidden agendas and statistics show a decrease in crime levels, which does not mean a need for less vigilance but indicates the impact of the work carried out around crime prevention.

By referring to incidents specific to the area, the author asks why students were not informed. These crimes were public knowledge and were discussed at our community meetings and reported in the Nottingham Evening Post. Rumours about specific ATMs and neighborhoods serve only to fuel fear and do not create a true picture of Lenton life. The area is well served by CCTV and is not an area with a high number of violent crime incidents. The author uses information which is inaccurate, such as statistics relating to crime. In 2008/9 the area statistic for robbery in the Lenton triangle area increased by 2% and burglaries were reduced by 12%, they did not increase by 50 % as stated in the article. We are unaware if the author’s claim of an ATM labeled the ‘most mugged cash point in Britain’ is in fact backed up by real statistics. The Forum is unaware of a ‘prolific knife point mugger’ in the area. This may be the case but at our regular meetings with the local police, officers routinely highlight any pertinent information, so I would question this part of the author’s research.

Residents in this area are proud of Lenton and its fantastic facilities including The Lenton Centre, Savoy Cinema, Crocus Café, Crocus Art Gallery, Lenton Recreation Ground and much more. We work with many volunteers and community activists, many of whom are students, who give their time to develop projects and help others. The article portrays a very different Lenton, and paints a picture of a violent crime-ridden community. We do live in a city and we do experience crime, but Lenton is a great place to live and work, for all sections of the community. The Forum recommends that all students remain vigilant in terms of personal safety and regarding home security, and take note of the advice and information on offer from the University, the Students’ Union, Notts Police and the Forum. Rumors and theories regarding suppression of information create an atmosphere of fear which does not reflect fact, as there is so much information about crime publicly available.

04

Issue 204

S, ON IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM If anything I’d suggest that people living in Lenton did discuss such things with their neighbours. It’s put me at ease now knowing that I have 2 houses watching over ours and vice versa. I know this won’t work in all situations but it’s better than just ignoring everyone.

Yes, students may be naive initially but I’m pretty sure that most people would establish some common sense during their time here. Especially considering the press about Nottingham.

In relation to the policing in Lenton. I have seen uniformed officers on Lenton Blvd during the day and at night. I’ve also seen a number of police cars going up and down during the day. The one problem I have with them is that once, during the “Love Your Stuff Campaign” a policeman was at my door and said “do you or anyone in your house smoke cannabis?”. Now, I don’t know about anyone else but would you own up to that? Also, I was wearing my nursing uniform… So I don’t think he was really considering his audience.

HELEN, ON IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

L

iving on Bute Ave in 2004/5, we were burgled by thieves who jimmied open the living room window, which had been left as locked as it could be with dodgy wooden frames.

It transpired that the house had been burgled on numerous occasions in previous years, by the same method of entry - there was even a hole in the frame where they had always inserted a screwdriver. Landlords and lettings agencies ought to make potential new tenants aware of previous crimes at the property and, preferably, make alterations to the property to make it less accessible to burglars.

News

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NEWS

60,000 Books from University libraries to be shipped to Ningbo every Year Emily Sargent

A

campaign has sprung up on campus to protest a pledge by Nottingham University to provide the campus in Ningbo, China with around 60,000 books each year directly from University libraries. Alex Andrews, a postgraduate studying Theology and Religious Studies at the University of Nottingham, is spearheading the endeavour.

Through a Freedom of Information Act request, Andrews has been allowed access to a number of documents which he argues strongly suggest that the University has been sending books from libraries such as Hallward and King’s Meadow to Ningbo since the Chinese campus was established. The cost of sending these books each year is reputed to be around £93,912. Other documents that Andrews has in his possession claim to show records of every individual book that has been sent to China and the date on which each batch is sent, yet he has argued that the University’s Information Services are being “deliberately difficult” by excluding a lot of information from the documents they have allowed him to see.

The Chinese government imposes requirements on Universities that necessitate a certain number of books per student One of the most concerning aspects of the scheme is the speed with which the selection and clearance process of books has been executed. Documentation of the project suggests that whole shelves of books and complete editions of journals are removed from Nottingham University’s libraries.

Books that are not frequently taken out on loan are being placed into central storage, and are then at risk of being shipped to China. While many of these books are quite old, some published during the 1970s, they are still works which could prove useful in future.

The first protests against the scheme were raised as early as 2008 when it is believed that the first shipment was sent but Andrews, who describes himself as a “veteran of many campaigns”, is determined that this time around the University will take the campaign seriously. Emails sent among those involved with the scheme dismiss the 2008 Facebook campaign group as “misinformed”.

The Chinese government imposes requirements on Universities that necessitate a certain number of books per student and evidently the University of Nottingham has a responsibility to support its Ningbo campus. However, it has been suggested that many of the books that are being sent from the University of Nottingham will be put straight into storage once they are in China, simply fulfilling a quota rather than benefitting academic staff and students on the Chinese campus. Further concerns are being raised about the deficiency that this scheme may inflict upon our library’s resources, and there are also questions about the quality of books being shipped, in that the University of Nottingham could be seen as giving Ningbo its ‘cast-offs’.

Andrews says that the issue has been raised in many departmental meetings and that the Students’ Union “broadly supports the campaign”.

JUNE 2010

05

NEWS

Cheating Your Way to a 2.1: The Ever Growing Problem of Academic Fraud Daniel Gadher

P

lagiarism and academic fraud in Universities is an ever increasing problem. Universities have invested in the latest plagiarism detection software as well as employing new methods of submission, like Nottingham’s own “turnitin” system, to try and combat the issue, and to some extent they have had some success: Figures reported on the Impact website in January showed that more students were being caught submitting plagiarised work than ever. The question is how adaptable current detection methods are cheating tactics.

For example, the anti plagiarism software used in many of the country’s universities does little to combat the notorious “essay mills” which have undergone huge development and growth recently. Essay mills such as Nottingham-based UKEssays.com provide individuals to ghost write specific tailor made essays and dissertations for a fee. These essays are original in content and - UKEssays claim - undetectable by the software used by universities. UKEssays goes even further in suggesting that it can offer essays for different standards of grades, from 2:1’s to a 1st, all of which vary in cost. A 10,000 word undergraduate 2:1 dissertation would set you back £1,200, while a Masters Distinction dissertation would cost you £8,000.

Claiming to have over “4,000 qualified academics” at their disposal, UKEssays pledge to refund the price if a grade is not met (although this might seem a little late for the unfortunate student), and are capable of turning around a 2500 word essay in the space of 3 hours for when students get ‘the fear’.

For obvious reasons, such services are widely viewed as in the academic world as cheating aids and are seen as unethical and damaging to the academic system. UKEssays claim in retaliation that they are only resources for students to use and not for them to hand in as completed work. “ It is no different from using journals, newspaper articles, question-and-answer study books”, they argue.

06

The rise of these ‘essay mills’ further calls in to question the standards and quality of Universities and University Graduates. Although obviously the majority of students do not use such services to get through university, the fact that their popularity is growing with the expanded use of companies like UKEssays highlights that this is a vitally important issue for Universities to deal with.

Issue 204

Nottingham Continues to Slide down the University Rankings Ben McCabe

T

he Times Good University Guide, published last month, shows that the University of Nottingham has fallen four places in the league tables compared to last year, and now finds itself precariously lodged at the foot of the top twenty universities in the country. Since reaching the lofty heights of 9th in 2003, the University has steadily slipped down the ratings, first into the mid-teens, and now as far as 20th. This year’s placement is the lowest since 1993, when the University was graded as only the 23rd best in Britain.

Despite a good student-staff ratio of 13.6:1 and very reasonable graduate prospects of 75.7%, Nottingham has this year allowed itself to fall behind the likes of Edinburgh, Southampton, Sheffield and Lancaster, the last of which has experienced a huge rise in the rankings from 27th two years ago to 10th.

One major factor, continuing a common theme for the university over the last decade, has been that of student satisfaction, particularly in the Arts and Social Sciences. The significance of satisfaction figures in league tables, however, is debatable.

The news was not completely gloomy, though, with the University still a long way ahead of neighbours Nottingham Trent, who reside in 55th place under the new rankings.

comment

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NEWS

Clegg’s Conundrum:

Why the Liberal Democrat Leader made the right choice BEN McCABE

I

t was an election that ended in disarray; it became the result that everyone had feared. The first hung parliament in the UK since 1874 had been heralded as a disaster in the making and it was evident very few people seemed enthused with the concept before the results came in and converted theory into reality.

When it became clear that neither Labour nor the Conservatives were to get a majority, it was the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg’s turn to make what would ultimately become the most important decision of the election.

Whatever choice he made, he would end up making enemies from at least one side of the political spectrum.

a coalition under any circumstances.

Besides, the Liberal Democrats could not be seen to be propping up a government which had been comprehensively voted out of power – it would have been political suicide.

With only two real options available, it was inevitable that Clegg would choose as he did. The offer of a coalition deal with David Cameron was an offer that the Liberal Democrat leader had been secretly hoping for throughout the election; to refuse a partial share of power in favour of remaining the second opposition party would have been insanity and would no doubt have resulted in his removal as party leader in the long run. Clegg had no choice but to accept.

The offer of a coalition deal with David Cameron was an offer that the Liberal Democrat leader had been secretly hoping for throughout the election In the end, though, his choice was practically made for him. Although Gordon Brown stepped down as Prime Minister - one of the key caveats for any Lib-Lab deal - Labour would not have been able to offer a majority coalition without gathering a large number of minority parties and independent MPs to join them. At the same time, some in the Labour party were unwilling to consider

Now Nick Clegg has been granted his opportunity to assert a liberal stamp upon the Conservative manifesto, leaving the new incumbent Prime Minister David Cameron in a slight predicament. He has already faced criticism both within and outside his party for not winning outright an election which perhaps could have been a

walkover for the Conservative party.

He should have sidelined the Liberal Democrats completely, yet his party failed to make the gains which were expected and now he must contemplate sharing power and conceding on some of his policies in favour of a more centralised agenda. Whether the Conservative party will be able to remain united is a different matter. In power for the first time in thirteen years, the Conservative party will have high expectations that Cameron will bring in radical right-leaning reform. A coalition with the Liberal Democrats, many think, will prevent them from doing so.

The Liberal Democrats will, by and large, simply be happy to be in government for the first time since the merger between the Liberal party and the Social Democrat party in 1988. Clegg must use this opportunity to implement the Liberal Democrat policies that are most beneficial to the country whilst keeping an eye on the election ahead, which will potentially be make or break for the party. If Clegg and company cannot prove that they are worthy of government by the time the elections next come around, they risk being marginalised on the fringes of the politics once more. It’s show time for Nick Clegg. Now we’ll find out if he’s ready to govern.

JUNE 2010

07

A Nation of Unrepresented Students?

Dave Jackson

S

omething is rotten on the student ship of state. While this is not yet a partisan issue at Nottingham University, the National Union of Students is in the midst of an existential crisis. Last February, NUS President Wes Streeting argued that “For Durham to leave the NUS would be seen as a vote of no confidence in the entire thing.” In the second of two referenda on the issue this academic year, the University of Durham narrowly voted to disaffiliate from the Union. More than a dispute over the organisation’s ‘no platform policy’, though, this is indeed a debate as to the worth of the NUS in its entirety.

It was, however, the ‘No Platform Policy’ which has sparked Durham’s eventual disaffiliation. The policy states that officers of the Union are not to share a platform with a fascist or racist even to argue with them, denying them a platform and, arguably, legitimacy. As a small side note it seems appropriate to quote John Stuart Mill, who famously

you will have a colossal demonstration on your hands...This will no doubt bring with it a lot of negative media attention and if any students are hurt in and around this event responsibility will lie with you.”

Sent to an SU already seriously discussing the prospect of disaffiliation (a referendum held earlier in the year had conclusively rejected the idea), the letter was met with sufficient condemnation from Durham students that Streeting attended a forum at the university in February to try and quell the sedition, arguing that “I honestly don’t believe that a no platform policy is an anathema to free speech...we can decide who we let in.” Students noted that NUS officers seemed to have a habit of only visiting when disaffiliation looked like a possibility.

This particular incident in Durham, however, is only the tip of a more general movement against a perceived ‘top-down’ approach by the NUS - an approach which has led to the many students might be disaffiliation of Southampton, Sunderland and Aston along wondering how valuable with Durham over the past their voice is when it is decade. Imperial College so far removed from the which was a founder member actual workings of the the NUS - has been in and unions which purportedly of out of the organisation but represent them voted to disaffiliate in 2008.

One pertinent criticism is argued that “If all mankind minus one of cost-effectiveness - the Durham were of one opinion, mankind would be disaffiliation campaign argued that no more justified in silencing that one their Union spent around £20,000 person than he, if he had the power, per year on membership, £6,000 on would be justified in silencing mankind.” purchasing training from the NUS and £5,000 in travel costs for conferences The Durham flashpoint came as a result related to their membership. Streeting of a planned debate on multiculturalism has pointed out that “If you want to which would have included two BNP view NUS membership as purely a members. The NUS Black Students’ financial transaction...then no, joining Officer and LGBT Officer sent a joint the NUS does not make you a profit. letter to the Durham SU and Vice[Paying for NUS affiliation] is paying for Chancellor to call for the event’s representation nationally and a national cancellation, suggesting (mistakenly) voice.” that such an event was illegal. The letter concluded in what was perceived Leaving aside the costs of membership by many to be a threatening manner: (and the irksome, money-grabbing “Should you fail to listen to our advice NUS Extra Card), many students might

08

Issue 204

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NEWS

It’s the kind of ‘we know best’ attitude which leads students to disregard unions as a representative tool, instead seeing their leaders as, well, tools be wondering how valuable their voice is when it is so far removed from the actual workings of the unions which purportedly represent them. At the national level, the NUS leadership is not directly elected, or accountable to, the rank and file student body - they are elected by delegates. In our case, delegates are bound to abide by SU policy even where it conflicts with their promises to voters, muddying the representative waters even further.

This lack of a mandate is even more harrowing when considered alongside the party political nature of the organisation. By 2004, the Labour Students-backed candidate had won the Presidential election for twenty years running. 2004 saw a brief change towards a slightly stronger left wing position than Labour, but since then normalcy has been restored. We’re paying for a national voice of some variety, true, but for many this may prove to be a voice which is directly contradictory of what they think, and it is done ostensibly in their name. Even ignoring party political issues - would a truly representative NUS really campaign to increase the price of beer in SU bars?

It’s the kind of ‘we know best’ attitude which leads students to disregard unions as a representative tool, instead seeing their leaders as, well, tools.

One example from a little closer to home is the decision by the NUS to replace tuition fees with a ‘graduate tax’, whereby a certain percentage of a graduate’s salary is paid every month for a fixed term of twenty years into a national trust. Graduates earning less than £15,000 per year would not pay anything, while the payment rate ranges from 2.5% to those on £25,000 to 4.5% on £60,000. A graduate earning £40,000 will pay £126 per month on fees, for example. Clearly quite a large shift in tuition fee policy, the NUS has received a mandate from the University of Nottingham’s Students’ Union to campaign for it on your behalf. If you don’t remember being consulted, that’s because you weren’t.

Wes Streeting - Former NUS President

Another example of the NUS’ reach extending beyond its legitimate grasp

was the ‘Vote for Students’ campaign, an effort to persuade students to vote for candidates who would oppose an increase in fees and “fight for a fairer education system” following the general election. Considering not only the NUS’ institutional party leanings but also its (lack of) representative ability, this raises the question as to whether an organisation such as the NUS has the moral authority to play politics. From where does their mandate to do this come from? At what point do students confer upon the NUS the right to try and influence elections in their name?

While we’re on this topic, let’s not let our own university’s union off lightly. Just what are faculty coordinators for, and how many of us actually know who ours are, let alone feel represented by them?

If our Executive members are elected by such a small segment of the university population, how much right do they have to lead? Are rep officers actually representative, or is perhaps SU Council a mere ivory tower, a clique which has forgotten what its job description is?

Fundamentally, the NUS provides a voice which students do not seem to want. If even our own Exec elections see a turnout of only around 7000 (the highest ever), how much legitimacy can the NUS - an organisation at least two degrees of separation away from representing real students - claim on our behalf? Perhaps their only redeeming feature is that for all of their bluster, they aren’t actually that good at influencing real policy - the paucity of information in the ‘Our Successes’ section of their website is an embarrassing reminder of that fact.

With its democratic illegitimacy challenged only by its lack of effectiveness, the NUS is far from a benign blemish on the face of student life; it’s a clear example of representational deception. We would all rather just get on with life, I admit, but we can expect more from those who claim to represent us without being drawn into the maelstrom of student politics. It’s about time to exercise that option.

JUNE 2010

09

SPORT

The World Cup – Killjoy? Only until kick-off JAMIE STANLEY

A

fter months of qualifiers, rainy evenings at the Reebok and shitting ourselves every time Rooney looks a bit queasy, South Africa 2010 is all but upon us. Tickets have been booked, pubs readied and 3D-glasses dusted-off for the first time since 1984, and I, for one, am more than a little bit excited. This joyous happening does, however, have one rather perplexing by-product, one that reared its head a few weeks ago on URN’s Football Show. As the discussion drifted towards thoughts of the summer, I asked my co-presenter: “So, who’s your money on, then?” His reply was almost inevitable: “England.” Oh, god.

This again? Really? We went through this four years ago, when Gerrard, Lampard and Terry were all in their prime and look where that got us.

However, his rationale echoed a growing feeling in this country. “One reason,” he continued, “Fabio Capello.”

Now, before I continue I’d like to make one thing clear, Fabio Capello is a world-class manager. He has changed the mentality of the England Team unquestionably for the better, and has righted many of the pedestrian failings of the ‘Shteve’ McClaren tenure and his provisional 30-man squad is almost perfect (with one notable scouse exception). I am also an Englishman, and I love my team dearly, and that wonderful feeling that, at least for 90 minutes, we are all in the same boat, regardless of club loyalties and tensions.

10

Issue 204

But my problem with my mate’s argument is that England’s problems haven’t been eradicated, just altered.

To prove this, we just have to look at the potential starting eleven (injuries permitting) for the June 12th date with the Americans: Green, Johnson, Terry, A. Cole, Lennon, Lampard, Barry, Gerrard, Rooney, Heskey. With the exception of the unfortunately injured Ferdinand, this is the team that Capello stuck by throughout the qualification campaign, and whilst it is an eleven that won their group in style, the goalposts move when they are to be compared with Spain, Brazil and Argentina, rather than Croatia, Belarus and Ukraine. The first issue arises with injuries, and whilst there is no way of knowing how players will fair in the remaining weeks before the tournament, two of the most important elements of Capello’s system have little more than a handful of games to get back up to speed. Both Ashley Cole and Aaron Lennon, each in scintillating form prior to their knocks, need to be on-song for this eleven to work. Were either or both of these players to miss out, Capello’s recent selections have suggested that their replacements would be anything but risk-free. Were Shaun Wright-Philips to take Lennon’s place on the right of midfield, the team would be left with a winger whose performances in an England shirt have been patchy, at best, and who has recently found himself warming the Eastlands bench, thanks to Adam Johnson. With Johnson

and Walcott watching the world cup from their living rooms, Capello is surely tempting fate by banking on Lennon’s body not to give way, let alone his lack of match fitness.

That is the first problem. The second is Capello’s persistent selection, despite promises otherwise, of players who are out of form. If we start with an easy target, Emile Heskey should definitely not be in this team, and Peter Crouch definitely should. I do understand that modern football is a balancing act, and if (God willing) Rooney starts, then there needs to be a big man next to him to act as the aerial threat from long-balls and set-plays. Heskey is a talented player, who will hold the ball, play it short to the more creative players and seek them out when the ball’s put near his head.

However, his ability to score goals is what a diplomat would call suspect and a football fan would call abysmal, and it is goals, after all, that win football matches, not excellent cushionheaders. Crouch, on the other hand, has scored 20 goals in his 37 appearances (compared to Heskey’s 7 in 57), and his short-passing and close-control more than make up for Heskey’s superior strength, particularly when teamed with his five-inch height advantage. Crucially, though, Crouch scores against the smaller teams, the average teams, the ones that England inevitably struggle to break down (Trinidad and Tobago 2006, anyone?). And yet, Capello sticks with Heskey, and whilst he has a job to do

impactNOTTINGHAM.COM/sport and he will inevitably give all that he can for the team, I genuinely feel that more is added to the team when Crouch starts than is lost when Heskey doesn’t. Like I said, a balancing act.

Heskey is by no means alone, though.

In spite of an exceptional season for Birmingham City, Joe Hart remains on the bench as Rob Green, a man who has conceded 19 more goals than him this season, proudly picks up the number 1 jersey. Even the ever-reliable Steven Gerrard has been, whisper it, a shadow of his former self at times this season, as Liverpool have floundered their way down the league, all with an abject Jamie Carragher at the heart of their defence (if you’re going to pull someone out of retirement, at least pick someone who hasn’t had the worst season of their career).

The biggest issue that arises from these problems is that Capello’s persistence in picking these out-of-form players, even in meaningless friendlies, has left little or no time to bed-in any potential replacements.

Regardless of how they have been playing, it looks as though, injuries permitting, we’re stuck with them.

It’s such a shame too, as there is now little indication that the smaller names that have excelled this season will be given their deserved international recognition.

Michael Dawson will, most likely, end-up as the fourth-choice centre-half at best.

On the left of midfield, Adam Johnson has proven his Premiership quality since his January move from Middlesbrough, yet failed to make the final 23 and Joe Cole has impressed since his return after a long injury lay-off, yet Capello it seems is still unsure of his best position. It is possible to drop Gerrard. The world won’t end if he isn’t crow-barred into a position that doesn’t suit him. He isn’t a left-winger, he’s a central midfielder, one that is currently not as good as Frank Lampard, and, in the same way that David James and Joe Hart can’t play together, a choice has to be made between them, we should know by now that we can’t have our cake and eat it.

The fact is that we can argue until we’re blue in the face about team-selection, tactics, preparation and everything in between, but at 6:30 on Saturday the 12th of June, even the most analytical English mind will find itself screaming those three familiar words at whichever eleven men are dressed in white as the whistle blows in Rustenburg.

A Season of Flaws Max McLaren

A

s football fans worldwide prepare themselves for the biggest competition of all, I feel myself somewhat disappointed as I reflect on the recently completed Premier League season. Though we have seen Chelsea prevent Manchester United’s fourth successive title, Tottenham Hotspur’s break into the supposed ‘Big Four’ and Fulham reach the Europa League final, as I see it the Premier League 2009/10 was NOT a season to remember.

Before I’m accused of sour grapes, let’s look at the facts. The last time a team won the Premier League and lost six times in the process was a decade ago. Though credit must be given to Chelsea for completing the first double in the club’s history, their squad is ageing, they have been too reliant on their home form, and their off-the-field antics this year have been something of a soap opera. Losing out by only one point, the team that came second, Manchester United, has been widely criticised as being too dependent on one man. Without Wayne Rooney, Fergie’s squad have lacked both direction and a cutting edge, with Dimitar Berbatov who should stop thinking he’s the next Eric Cantona if he’s to have a future at Old Trafford.

With regard to fourth place, although I am happy to see Tottenham’s ascent, I would argue the feat was more a result of Liverpool’s failings rather than the mastery of the North London outfit. Looking at the final league table, 14th-placed Bolton Wanderers hardly deserved to stay up with the way they played this season, let alone 17thplaced West Ham. Yes, this season was more competitive and therefore one could argue better for the neutral, but as a fan of a lower-league club (cue jokes) I feel the standard of the Premier League is of more importance than Chelsea slipping up at the DW stadium, or Manchester United losing

at Turf Moor. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of time for the underdogs of this beautiful game, but not at the expense of England’s proud tag of having the ‘best league in the world’.

This is what worries me. The best sides in England this year have not only been inconsistent in the Premier League, but also in Europe. Fulham aside, English clubs have failed to set the European competitions alight.

Liverpool failed to even make the quarterfinals of the Champions League while Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal were unable to make it past that stage. So what was the problem?

I’ll keep the answers short and simple: Manchester United – losing a worldclass talent like Cristiano Ronaldo would affect any club, yet from the £80 million pound fee, United purchased sufficient replacements. Chelsea – this year the midfield, with the notable exceptions of Florent Malouda and Frank Lampard, were lacking in class.

Ballack is past his best and Mikel is recognised by Manchester United fans as the smartest money they ever made. Liverpool – selling Xabi Alonso was, in my opinion, Rafa Benitez’s worst decision as manager. Without the trusty Spaniard, Gerrard has been floundering, and his replacement, Lucas, would struggle to break into the starting eleven of a number of Premier League sides. Arsenal – where to start? Drop Arshavin; buy some experienced players; stop them all getting injured (there’s definitely something in the water at the Emirates). Despite all of these failings from the big English sides, the departure of Fabregas to pastures new seems inevitable; Vidic appears restless at Old Trafford; Torres and Gerrard might be offloaded… Am I being too pessimistic? It just seems that we’re succumbing to the financial might of Spanish clubs, and our league will be the one that suffers.

Allnutt’s Nut to Crack

W

hat was the illness that Brazilian striker Ronaldo suffered right before the start of the 1998 World Cup final?

(Answer to last issue’s nut to crack: Paul Scholes) JUNE 2010

11

varsity in images Top UoN’s Football team run to celebrate a winning penalty shootout with shot stopper Patrick Simpson.

Right Nottingham University hold up the puck from a sea of Trent blue.

Uni. went on to win in a penalty shoot-out.

Far Right Nottingham University Outlaws in dismay after suffering a 14 - 6 defeat by Nottingham Trent Renegades.

12

Issue 204

Image by Simon Boardman

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/sport

Image by Matt Turner

Image by Sam Lustig

JUNE 2010

13

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/sport

And the Award Goes To… Tommy ‘Bodged’ Reynolds After a season of highs and lows from across the sports, Impact looks at the ‘alternative’ awards for 2009/10.

The ‘It wouldn’t happen in Rugby’ Award Didier Drogba

You know the type: they always moan about how overpaid footballers are and compare their prima donna attitudes to that of their ‘gentlemen’ rugby players. You try to defend the beautiful game, and then someone acts in a way so pitiful that you wonder why you bothered. Take a bow, Didier Drogba.

One-Nil up in the final game of the season, with a penalty to make the title almost certain, and Mr. Drogba felt his pursuit of the Golden Boot award, given to the season’s top goal-scorer, more important than his team’s march to the Premiership. His tantrum at Frank Lampard for not being allowed to take the penalty soured the end of the Premier League season and merely gave credence to your smug rugby-loving housemate who lives by the phrase, “Football is a gentleman’s game played by hooligans, and rugby is a hooligans game played by gentlemen”.

Cheers Didier.

The ‘Only in England’ Award The Mail on Sunday

The 2018 World Cup is not the Olympic Games.

It doesn’t require millions to be spent on new stadia or infrastructure, would certainly return a huge profit and most importantly, bring football back to its birthplace and joy to millions up and down the country. Support should be unanimous; however the British press, namely The Mail on Sunday, have done more for the Russian bid than Roman’s millions. The sting involved the

entrapment of Lord Triesman, who was caught mumbling some claptrap about Russian-Spanish conspiracies to fix the destination of the World Cup. Triesman was guilty of ‘Sven Syndrome’ (see Ulrika for more details) more than anything, and his tales of cloaks and daggers in the footballing underworld were little more than a poor chat-up line. Was it really in the national interest to print the mumblings of a horny old fool? Almost certainly not. Has it scuppered England’s chances of hosting the World Cup? Possibly. All thanks to our own press. Only in England.

The ‘Why didn’t we do it earlier’ Award Michel Platini

The UEFA President may not be to everyone’s liking but he has stumbled upon an idea so simple, you wonder why no one thought of it sooner. Having the Champion’s League Final on a Saturday reeks of the common sense that bureaucrats such as Platini are not famed for.

It benefits fans and players whilst hindering the prawn sandwich brigade. Fans can travel to the game without taking days off work, and benefit from the extra hotel vacancies on weekends.

Players get a whole week to train and managers therefore don’t have to think of resting players for Cup Finals or League deciders as has been seen previously when they often occurred three days before Europe’s showpiece match. Furthermore, less seats are taken up by freeloading corporates who often don’t fancy football if it occurs outside the working week. Finally, it opens up the best of European football to more of the world’s audience such as the United States, another benefit of weekend viewing. It all makes you wonder what took them so long. Mr. Blatter, take note.

McLaren’s Mercurial XI Bragard’s

Numerical Bonanza

Pat Simpson (NUFC 1st XI) Dan Fox (NUHC 1st XI)

Tom Lytton-Dickie (NUFC 1st XI)

Emily Hick (Chinese Soc Badminton)

Hatty Preston (NULAX 1st X)

Max Sandy James Franklin (Mens Lacrosse 1st X) (Medics Football 1st XI)

David Nicklin (NUHC 1st XI)

Charlie Reid (NUCC 1st XI)

Ed Day (NUHC 2nd XI)

Celia Butler (NULHC 1st XI)

43

Players used by England manager Fabio Capello during his reign

1753

Metres above sea level for the opening game of the World Cup 2010

103

Number of goals scored by Chelsea this season

14

Issue 204

The

Hidden

Crisis

by Lucy Hayes Images by Matt Turner

To most people, the word ‘homeless’ conjures up an image of a bearded and bedraggled old man with a fleabitten dog, huddled in a shop doorway. However, a large proportion of homeless people are not in fact sleeping rough; thousands of people in the UK are ‘statutory homeless’: living in temporary accommodation, sleeping on friend’s sofas, or squatting. While their plight may be largely invisible, it’s too serious and widespread to be ignored. Impact’s Lucy Hayes investigates the lives of people in Nottingham who have lived in fear of ending up on the street, and looks at the causes.

I

t’s not fashionable to say anything nice about Labour at the minute, but it is an uncontestable fact that the last government did a huge amount to cut street homelessness in the UK. It is down two-thirds since their accession in 1997. This is a figure to be proud of – but it does not mean that the problems underlying homelessness have disappeared. Street homelessness can be hard to measure, as people will often stay on the move or hidden from public view.

There are also many homeless people who are not sleeping rough but are in great need of permanent housing. Adam Sampson, the CEO of Shelter, said, “The Government made a commitment to cut the numbers of homeless people sleeping rough… Despite progress, the problems faced by homeless people have not gone away.”

Laura* would have ended up on the streets had she not been taken into a women’s hostel after fleeing her home.

She had been in a violently abusive relationship until her ex-partner was sent to prison. However, he had associates still in the area who made her life a living hell, repeatedly breaking into her property, harassing her in the street and finally attacking her in her own home.

Although her ex-partner, the original perpetrator, had been imprisoned, it was clear that it was no longer safe for her to stay in the area. After fleeing her home the Council had to review whether she was intentionally homeless, and she was placed in hostel accommodation while this decision was reached.

She was eventually placed in council accommodation in a different area and has been able to find work and begin

rebuilding her life. For people like Laura, an accessible social housing stock is vital for both their happiness and well-being.

64,000 homeless households in England were living in temporary accommodation arranged by local authorities at the end of March 2009. Just over 49,000 of these households had dependent children.

Temporary accommodation may be made available to people who have been illegally evicted, are fleeing domestic violence or are facing a multitude of other problems. It is impossible to know how many other people are statutory homeless, moving between friends’ sofas without anywhere permanent to stay.

These people are the hidden homeless, part of a huge social problem that is all too easy to ignore.

JUNE 2010

15

In Nottingham, some homeless households - many with dependent children - wait for years in temporary accommodation. Mark and his two children are one such family, currently living in a ‘temporary’ flat and bidding for council accommodation. “We’re hoping to move into a house one day as it’d be nicer for the kids. I’m working now but private renting is expensive, and it’s difficult to find a landlord who’ll be happy to take a family with kids but without the money for a deposit, and no guarantor. Council housing is so much better because you have a protected tenancy so it’s a longer term solution.”

The University of Nottingham is somewhat socially exclusive; The Times ranked us in the Top 10 ‘Most Middle Class Universities’ (it’s a shame we’re not scoring so highly on other counts).

It’s fair to say that many people will attach a negative stigma to council housing or estates without perhaps having any experience of living in, or even knowing people who live in, those areas. And yet outside of our uppermiddle class microcosm, there are over 9000 households in Nottingham, like Mark and his children, on the waiting list for social housing. Many more are unable to access even the waiting list; those who would love to be able to live in the very places the upper-middle class disparage as dens of ASBOs and knife crime. The lower rent, the council’s willingness to accept tenants on Housing Benefit, the protected tenant status (most private landlords are able to evict at two months notice at any time, a threat which is removed by a protected tenancy), and the likelihood of a longer-term rental agreement are all attractive factors of social housing.

Quite often the homeless people who stay in temporary accommodation for a longer time are people who are unable to live independently: people with mental health problems or drug

addict, left her hostel after finding it too difficult to stay off drugs when surrounded by current users. She sleeps on friends’ sofas or floors and sometimes sleeps rough, but doesn’t know what else she can do. “You can’t get work without a permanent address.

I can’t afford a place unless I get a job. I know I’ve made bad choices in the past but now I feel like I’ve been trapped by them.”

Few people realise that there is such a thing as a ‘Homeless Person’s Application’ – this is not, of course, an application to become homeless, but to be seen as legitimately homeless by the local authority in order to be granted the right to social housing.

Joanne, for example, would be seen as intentionally homeless as she left her hostel accommodation voluntarily.

You would also be seen as intentionally homeless if you had been evicted due to non-payment of rent. Local authorities prioritise the places available in temporary accommodation in accordance to the need or vulnerability of the applicant. As a result people who do not fit these criteria (usually healthy single people) can end up becoming invisible; they might choose to sleep on sofas or squat in empty properties.

Therefore although homelessness statistics have decreased, the crisis of homelessness is not so easily solved.

This can also lead to an assumption that if a person is not an addict, or mentally ill, they are ‘normal’ and therefore at fault and society has no responsibility to provide for them. The prioritisation of the most vulnerable has been described as “limited social justice”, as although the most needy are cared for, a different socially excluded group is ignored and left to find their own way out of the situation - a challenge that often proves impossible. It might be easy to assume that it is a minority of people who find themselves homeless without finance enough to organise renting in the private sector; it is a minority, of course, but a sizeable one. More than two million people in the UK are struggling to pay the rent or mortgage. After the fall in house prices over the past few years, many people who bought in 2007 found themselves almost immediately in negative equity when the housing bubble burst.

The most common reason for people becoming homeless is some major life changing event and alcohol addicts. In some cases hostel places are reserved for these ‘at risk’ individuals, meaning that some homeless people may be turned away even if there is an available bed. This in turn leads to hostels becoming overwhelmed by drug addicts or mentally ill people, which sometimes leads to a negative and dangerous environment. Joanne, a former heroin

16

Issue 204

Many people do not have a safety net of extended family or friends to go to for financial help in order to access private renting if they are evicted or their home

In some cases h are reserved fo risk’ individual that some homeless be turned away, even an available bed is repossessed. These aren’t just people from very poor backgrounds; Sharon Batey, Manager of Nottinghamshire Housing Advice service, explains that, “The most common reason for people becoming homeless is some major life changing event, like an illness, a relationship breakdown, or bereavement. Things like that affect someone’s ability to go out and earn money, or sort out their finances… I’ve been with this organisation since 1997 and in that time I can honestly say that I’ve seen very few people who have deliberately done something that’s caused them to become homeless.”

She remembers one couple who led a normal and stable life with their three children until their youngest son unexpectedly died. The stress and trauma of this event proved too much for their relationship; the mother began drinking heavily, and eventually the father left. She had lost her job and was unable to keep up with the rent, and didn’t know that she was eligible for benefits which could have helped out.

She came to Nottinghamshire Housing Advice as she was due to be evicted

with young children. Not only does this limit housing available for those who do not fall into these brackets, but it concentrates large numbers of people with severe economic, social and health problems in the same area, much like temporary housing does but on a larger scale. Batey commented that areas which have a mix of social and private properties generally have fewer social problems - mixing the types of housing is also a step towards combating the stigma attached to social housing, whereas segregating council houses in ghetto-like estates simply exacerbates existing social problems and intensifies prejudices from those outside the estates.

hostel places or these ‘at ls, meaning people may n if there is from her privately rented property and while the support workers were able to apply to court to get a suspension on her eviction, it’s clear in this kind of situation that a holistic approach is needed. In Nottingham there are support agencies such as Framework, which offer a wide range of services, from housing to support services for vulnerable people. With the support of various agencies, the woman in question was able to keep her home and organise a repayment plan for her rent arrears, apply for the benefits she was entitled to, and most crucially get help with caring for her children and fighting her alcoholism.

Batey continued, “On a purely personal level it grieves me that I see empty properties when there are people crying out for houses… The housing crisis is particularly relevant in Nottinghamshire. There are far more people on waiting lists than there is accommodation available.”

Due to the shortage in social housing, the local authorities must prioritise housing for vulnerable people, such as those with disabilities, or families

home and the street, is the shortage of social housing. The benefits of social housing, mentioned before, are indispensable for many people in the UK, and there are thousands more who also hope to benefit from it.

However, the social housing stock was greatly diminished under the ‘right to buy’ scheme of the 80s and has not increased enough since then to keep up with demand. Essentially huge changes are needed in order to address the underlying problems: two important steps toward this would a greater stock of council housing, and stronger rights to tenants across the rental sector.

It’s important to remember that failing to provide for the least fortunate has negative effects across society as a whole

“Essentially we’re all just two events away from homelessness,” said Batey. This may be hard to imagine for some people, but it really can happen to anyone and that’s why it’s so vital that these people who become homeless have an adequate support network in place to assist them.

However, there is no chance that the sector will be able to expand any time soon. Supporting People is the government programme for funding and monitoring housing-related support services, and they have been instructed that there need to be savings of £4.5 million implemented in the city by 2011.

The vast majority of expenditure goes on temporary accommodation because it is expensive to run, and so this area is likely to be hit hard. Currently the plan is to replace temporary supported accommodation (for people who find it hard to live independently) with floating support networks; however, support workers I spoke to voiced concerns that this would not be sufficient, and that the whole sector would face a backlash when the decreased support inevitably failed to keep people in command of their lives.

While the government’s current priority is cutting the deficit, it’s important to remember that failing to provide for the least fortunate has negative effects across society as a whole. Statistics consistently show that homelessness is lowest in countries with lower levels of inequality – not necessarily countries with less poor people, simply more equality overall.

One of the main problems facing those ‘statutory homeless’ people in Nottingham, those stuck in between a

In the UK, home ownership is viewed as very important; a cultural shift away from this, towards acceptance of longterm renting, would vastly alter the housing situation. Some have seen the recent decrease in home ownership as a worrying trend (currently 68% of households, down from 71% in 2003).

However, in Germany, for example, just 43% of the population own their homes; instead many people stay in one rented property on long-term leases.

In Sweden, home ownership rates are even lower at just 38%. While this might be bad news for mortgage companies, Sweden has less homelessness than the UK; ‘highly pressurised’ housing markets are likely to generate more homelessness. If renting can be a viable long-term option, it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

For now, most of the ‘hidden’ homeless of Nottingham will continue to see social housing as their only route to a more permanently settled way of life. However, the pressure the sector is currently under, combined with the urgency of making millions of pounds worth of cuts before 2011, indicates that things are unlikely to look up any time soon. Just because there are less homeless people on the street than there were a decade ago doesn’t mean that the more fortunate amongst us – and those holding power – can forget about the people living in poverty and uncertainty. * All names in this article have been changed.

June 2010

17

GOLDRUSH

by Hattie Hamilton

G

old: the chemical element with the atomic number 79, the precious metal used for jewellery... And the colour which sends third years into a frenzy in the final weeks of their three-year holiday. The Gold Rush; a phenomenon which engulfs the country’s student population sending sex drives off the scale and competitive spirits into overdrive. It can be a confusing time for many a graduand, but never fear, Impact has stepped up to the mark to provide you with all the necessary details to maximise your gold-rush potential and limit possible damage during the glorious season ahead...

Gold Rush, noun, /gəʊld//rʌ∫/ The sudden urge to cease all committed and faithful relationships in the hope of copulating with as many individuals as possible in the closing stages of one’s undergraduate career. Specifically,

substantially above one’s weight...

The University of Nottingham’s “panic season” will officially launch with the reopening of the top floor of Ocean, signifying the re-emergence of mentally drained student species from the Hallward hibernation season. Once the trading floor is declared open, many final year students will be found weaving through the crowds on a determined mission, whilst others will be left cowering in the corners away from the prying eyes of sexual predators. Whilst such gratuitous mating can only be encouraged, a warning note must ensue... Be wary of the dire consequences of such wanton pleasures; hand-picking your conquests like fruit from a tree can end in tears when your judgment is impaired by irrational panic concerning the loss of your youth and your imminent disposal into the big, bad world. Panic-induced curiosity leads you to convince yourself that your best friend since first year is actually indescribably handsome and probably has a massive penis and could even make a fantastic life-long partner.

Goodbye lifelong friend, hello hideous, awkward wake up call.

Once the trading floor is declared open, many final year students will be found weaving through the crowds on a determined mission participants of the so-called ‘gold rush’, should aim for amorous success with targets whom they have lusted over as forbidden fruit during their time as loyal partners... Even if this involves punching

18

Issue 204

Image by Tara Wallace

Nonetheless last year, several goldrush couples were reported to have emerged from the plethora of entwined limbs and locked lips. What starts as competitive courting could result in matrimonial bliss.

Imagine your children’s stunned faces when you tell the story of how you met…

Dad always fancied Mum but he was

otherwise engaged, so he sacked off the other woman and shoved his tongue down her throat in Ocean... Who said romance was dead?

The process must begin with your list. Your number one must represent the ultimate prize and those who are more of a token/sympathy vote will be loitering below the boundaries of listacceptability. It is probably advisable that this sexual directory remains clandestine to prevent rivals from stealing your tactics. It is also crucial that targets remain unaware of their inclusion in your target file to prevent a backlash, it’s nice to feel desired other than as a checklist item. If you’re a little OCD then you may wish to categorise this file, perhaps even get it bound to commemorate the occasion and proudly present it to your parents on graduation alongside your dissertation. Categorisation can occur in terms of full houses, entire sports teams or societies, beginning with the Treasurer and culminating in the acquisition of the President prize. If you have a particular ‘type’ some research may be required prior to the compilation of your list. In the case of one Impact editor, the specific requirement is that they must have run at least twice for an SU position, which involved trawling through the manifesto booklets of the last three years comparing policies and campaign photographs in order to rank her coitus candidates.

So watch in awe as the future employees of Accenture, Ernst and Young, and PWC dutifully notch up impressive bedpost tallies. And I call on first and second years to maintain this tradition; you won’t regret it when it’s your turn to Go Golden.

Feasible or Laughable?

SU Election promises under the spotlight

by Leanne Chilcott

Y

ou are - I assume reading this hastily assembled article from the comfort of your free Lenton hopper bus.

Sitting in a neat pile on your lap are all your essential course books for next year, bought with a hefty discount second hand from the SU second hand bookshop. Of course you didn’t go straight there - not without grabbing a one pound pint in the recently reopened Ark, fresh from acquiring a summer job from the Portland job centre, run by helpful and friendly fellow students. They reckon they can help you land a graduate job outside of the square mile too.

Utter tosh Later, you’re going to Ocean for the special nurses, postgrads, LGBT and wheelchair party with the ticket you printed off the SU website, after having a meeting/pre lash with your tutor - as thanks to the Union’s review of the tutor system, he is suddenly taking a much more active interest in your life.

This is utter tosh of course. Why would you think any differently? Well, if the manifestos of victorious SU Exec members past and present were to be believed, this is the sugary sweet, rainbow and unicorn infested world in which we live today.

For too long now, the SU election process has been an unvetted shambles. Manifestos are put together on the fly, with the emphasis very firmly

based on slogans over substance. There is no checking progress for verifying the bold claims of experience of some candidates (charity workers, campus brand managers and real world work experience), or whether the various obscure committee positions are all padding and fluff (JCR members and SRS ‘contributors’ being amongst the most prolific repeat offenders). No doubt a more obvious lie will be caught out, but did anyone check the veracity of “Pakistan’s best Public Speaker 2006”, “RAF officer 06/08” or the “International Women’s Boxing Volunteer” when they put pen to paper (or cursor to Photoshop) and wrote what is - in essence - a job application.

Can you imagine any real world position with a £17k salary and legal responsibility for events attended by thousands to be filled without even the most basic of reference checking?

Thousands of (often embittered) words have been written on the subject of elections being more of a Facebook popularity contest than a true electoral barometer of student sentiment fought on a policy battlefield. Whilst more informed voices have countered with the ready availability of manifestos, both online and in physical form, how much can we rely on these documents? Not only can experience be fabricated, but the very policies that are voted in by an unknowing student body are not subject to any formative criticism from current officers with regards to feasibility or even legality.

It seems clear that students have been seduced by idealistic soundbites never to be delivered on. When put up

against the less than glamorous - but vitally important - QAA assessment, it’s entirely forgivable for John Q. Student to vote with his duvet and sweep the next private school cardboard cutout into office who promises an easier life.

The galling aspect of the whole seedy affair is not the entirely understandable policy of current and former exec members impartiality - entirely reasonable when considering the influence an endorsement might carry.

No, the issue here is the complete disregard for veracity shown by the incumbent officers. Perhaps they would argue that just because policies haven’t been implemented or have failed in the past doesn’t rule out a truly dedicated and dynamic officer pushing them through. But when the policies suggested would break pre-exisiting contracts, University relations or even laws, surely it’s the job of the SU to intervene and inform the electorate this would not, and could not, happen. It’s very hard to believe that the individual candidates in question are unaware of the unfeasibility of their claims.

Being on the SU Exec not only means you are in charge of a very large and wealthy organization, but for some positions it also carries the responsibility of charity trustee. This is a position which carries with it an expectation of the utmost integrity and honesty, and is legally binding beyond their tenure of office. Should not - for the candidates’ own sake let alone ours - their credentials be investigated by not only the electorate, but by the organisation they are vying for the opportunity to run, too?

June 2010

19

Sex

Work Exploitation or Empowerment?

By Catherine Elms

O

n 26th March, it was announced that Iceland had banned stripping and lap dancing, and had done so for feminist reasons rather than religious reasons.

The politician who first proposed the ban, Kolbrún Halldórsdóttir, told the national press: “It is not acceptable that women or people in general are

20

Issue 204

a product to be sold.”

The Guardian reported this news by labelling Iceland as “the world’s most feminist country”, and its reporter gushed about how much of a boost this was to feminists worldwide, describing the sex industry as “both a cause and a consequence of gaping inequality between men and women”.

Many have criticised Iceland’s decision, arguing that it will drive sex work underground and put sex workers at risk However, feminists are divided on the issue of sex work, and this news has sparked a lot of discussion in feminist circles. It is a tired cliché to assume that feminists are vehemently anti-sex, as the stereotype often suggests. In fact, sex work – which includes, but is not limited to, pornography, stripping, lap dancing and prostitution – is a source of debate among feminists and non-feminists alike. To put it simply, the debate centres on the following question: is sex work exploitative or empowering?

Those who agree with Iceland’s decision argue that sex work is degrading and exploitative; a vocation which no woman should be encouraged to enter. Some cite the dangerous and demeaning conditions in which sex workers are expected to work – the job discrimination sex workers suffer based on their appearances (the ideal is an attractive, thin, able-bodied woman), the lack of benefits and job security, the social stigma attached to sex work, and the risk of sexual assault and rape (shockingly, many people believe that one cannot rape a prostitute, since being paid means they consent to any type of sex). However, many of these reasons are due to societal attitudes towards sex work rather than a result of the work itself. Perhaps if the sex industry were regulated as other industries are, we would be able to eliminate such dangers, and provide sex

workers with decent legal, medical and police protection. Many have criticised Iceland’s decision to outlaw sex work, arguing that it will drive sex work underground and put sex workers at risk. Sex workers will not report violence or abuse at work if they are at risk of being arrested themselves.

Others argue that sex work is degrading for the female population as a whole, and that the existence of sex work sends out a message that women are a commodity to be bought and sold. It is important to note that the vast majority of sex workers are female, and are often working for the pleasure of men.

If sex work was a non-gender-specific vocation, perhaps the problem would be less obvious. However, as it stands, it is an area that primarily consists of young, attractive women, and one can understand the general message that legal sex work sends out: women are there for male sexual pleasure. Some also argue that this places an unrealistic expectation on women to look, dress, and act a certain way - like porn stars.

Although it seems obvious that women should not be viewed as mere sex objects that exist for male pleasure, it is not so obvious whether the banning of strip clubs will actually reduce the bodily objectification and oppression of women, or send the message that women’s bodies aren’t for sale. You

Many sex workers find stripping and prostitution enjoyable and empowering

cannot ban these things - laws are easier to change than public attitudes.

Many sex workers find stripping and prostitution enjoyable and empowering, and have discussed the benefits of entering their line of work, arguing that it makes them feel great about their bodies, and is a great source of income.

One can certainly see the financial benefits, especially for female students desperate for some extra cash to fund their studies – a single night of sex work will earn you the same amount of money as an entire month of part-time shop work, in most cases. Sex work is among the best-paid work young women can get. And if a woman fits into a certain definition of beauty, then it is easy to see how sex work can be empowering for her – who wouldn’t be flattered by hordes of men staring at you with looks of unadulterated lust?

However, despite the fact that many sex workers feel good about themselves when working, we cannot be naïve and assume that all sex workers have such positive experiences, and that empowerment negates the aforementioned problems of sex work, namely discrimination, social stigma, and sexual assault. It is also important to remember that not all sex workers are there by choice – many are forced into it for financial reasons such as debt, homelessness, and low wages in other professions. The law in Iceland does not address these issues, and will make it harder for women living in poverty to survive if they cannot turn to sex work. Any discussion of outlawing sex work must consider more employment options for women, and encouragement and accessibility of higher education, so that women are never forced into sex work by poverty.

Sex work is a complex social issue with no easy answer, and passing a law will not solve the problem as easily as we’d like. Prescriptive feminism is problematic, and like many paternalistic laws, Iceland’s ban will end up harming the group it was designed to benefit.

We can outlaw things that are clearly and inherently harmful, but it’s difficult to tell whether sex work falls into that category.

June 2010

21

Eurovision 2010 Why the UK Belongs in Last Place

A

lthough one Guardian reporter lovingly referred to the Eurovision Song Contest this year as ‘The Gay Olympics’, it is perhaps not too outlandish to assume that this is sadly an affectionate nickname used by few in the UK. ‘The Busty Eastern-European Women Bellowing Terrible Pop Songs and Acting as the Acceptable Face of Mutual Political Bum-Kissing Olympics’ is perhaps the (unsaid, but felt) alternative title of choice of most. We consider the musical efforts of our continent as poor in quality, embarrassingly theatrical, and camper than Graham Norton pitching a tent (double-entendre intended). We bemoan the fact that countries tend to vote for their neighbours, as if bitter that Britain only borders with several oceans, none of which bother to take part in Eurovision (where are the singing mermen from Harry Potter when you need them?). All in all, British disdain for Eurovision is seemingly limitless.

With a heavy-handed dose of irony that, judging by the minute number of points we tend to receive, our kerazy Euro-poploving friends on the continent just do not get, modern Britain usually insists on entering a novelty act into what is elsewhere considered a serious and prestigious music competition. We sent Scooch to Helsinki in 2007. A tubbymembered poor man’s Steps, garlanded with kinky air-hostess outfits and a liberal amount of flight-themed innuendo (“Some salted nuts, sir?”). We sent Daz Sampson to Athens in 2006. DAZ SAMPSON. If you don’t remember him or his Eurovision performance in all its quasi-paedophilic hideousness, YouTube it. Pete Waterman was supposedly aiming for winning 80’s pop perfection with this year’s cheese-fest entry song ‘That Sounds Good to Me’.

But I’m starting to suspect that even he wasn’t arsed: a) because he kept forgetting what the song was called on Eurovision

22

Issue 204

by Gabby DeMatteis Britain usually insists on entering a novelty act into what is elsewhere considered a serious and prestigious music competition

warm-up show Your Country Needs You, and b) because he told a BBC interviewer the day before the contest that “there is always an outside chance that something bizarre might happen and we might win Eurovision. Highly unlikely, but there you go.” Wow, Pete. Don’t go mental and have some faith in your own song, will you?

Calm down you optimistic fool!

I said before that the UK has a seemingly infinite disdain for Eurovision. But ‘seemingly’ is the operative word in that statement; our snobbery is only superficial, because at heart, we don’t want to lose.

Any British interest in the contest is kept firmly under wraps, as can be seen in the fact that ‘That Sounds Good to Me’ currently squats in the UK charts at number 179, while the contests winning song ‘Satellite’ has been number 1 in Germany for ages, recently becoming the country’s fastest selling digital download ever and going triple gold. But behind closed doors, we watch the Eurovision results show whilst suppressing violent surges of nauseating anxiety, waiting and wanting so very badly to leap up and cheer at the sight of that beautiful, rare apparition: the words ‘12 points’ with a little Union Jack next to it. The very reason that Jade Ewen did so well last year – she came 5th; not 5th from bottom, actual 5th – is that someone, i.e. celebrated melty-face musician Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, came out of the Eurovision closet and took an outward interest in Britain’s bid. He bothered to

write Jade a decent (I’m judging this using a European musical yard-stick here) song, forcibly restraining the public from “pulling a Scooch” and embarrassing themselves with another novelty entrant.

Josh Dubovie, 2010’s UK representative, is by no means the worst singer ever. But he did massacre the two big end notes of his already terrible, terrible song, and is unarguably, as Neil Fox straightforwardly told the press, the very definition of “an average singer”. It just wasn’t a good enough offering, and yet Britain still expects to come somewhere other than last. We want our neighbours to like us best, even though we already have a cool American best friend and we don’t even want to play with Europe anyway because its stupid singing game is silly. So how do we make it happen? If we’re not willing to go with Lloyd Webber and give up our innately British, largely ironic, point-andlaugh approach to Eurovision, maybe we should aim to somehow gain the one thing that guarantees winning lots of votes. No, not impressive pyrotechnics, not a mutant Perspex piano or a giant blossoming apricot stone. Borders. Lots and lots of lovely, mainland European, inland borders.

Simple.

In Defence of Christianity

Ethics and morality are peculiar without God

by Simon Lister

I

t is not hard to find two people with differing views on what is right and wrong. Perhaps it may only be in trivial matters, such as dinnertime etiquette or why it’s immoral to support Manchester United.

But what if the issues at hand are more serious, such as defining what is illegal?

Of course the common view of the atheist here is that majority wins. Democracy will provide us with the leaders who can take these tough decisions. But does it? How many in the US voiced opposition to the democratic election of Hamas, despite their majority? Our ethics and morality are on an uncertain base if all we have is the majority. Now, surely, over the passage of time they would generally improve and develop, but how do we know this? C.S. Lewis countered this well by describing such an attitude as “chronological snobbery”.

But do Christians see themselves as somehow morally superior? No one is born a Christian. No one becomes a Christian because of their superior moral standing. A Christian is someone who has acknowledged that their moral performance cannot set them right before God. The Bible teaches that all of us are responsible for our failure to acknowledge God for who He is. But the scandalous news of Christianity is that God himself has taken on human form as Jesus Christ, and died a death, taking the punishment we deserve, so we can know God. A Christian can claim to know God solely because of the work of Jesus. And yet, over time, we should see a change in the desires of an individual Christian to seek a life, which affirms the Bible, and the changes in their moral views as a result. This does not mean that Christians are morally superior, since people can become Christians regardless of the sophistication of their morals.

A Christian is someone who has acknowledged religion must take that their moral performance itsTrue morality from God or it’s on cannot set them right before God alone, shaky ground, The fact is that we were created in the image of a moral God, and that as a result we do have a sense of morality. However, humanity as a whole is in rebellion against its maker, and so this sense of morality has become corrupted. This condition is universal, regardless of belief.

having no basis for arguing that anything anyone does is truly wrong. We can say it doesn’t sit with our taste, or it’s not what we would have done, but we can no longer call anything wrong.

I would want to affirm the tolerant roots of our society, and the Christian morals that drove their introduction. However, for

some today, toleration seems so distorted that it almost has to mean: “I tolerate you, and therefore your view is equally as good, or as right, as mine.” Some suggest that a person’s faith cannot be questioned because it’s their religion; however, toleration does not necessarily imply the inability to critique another’s viewpoint. I want you to question my faith, tell me you disagree and we can have a discussion about it.

Hitchens has challenged people to, “name me one moral or ethical action committed or carried out by a believer that could not have been performed by a non believer.” I think the most significant (although not the only) action we can consider is worship of God. If a loving, benevolent God who has demonstrated this conclusively in our history created us, it would be immoral to ignore him.

So why do I believe there is an all-loving God? There are many reasons which I would say are rational but I will mention just one – the life, death, and (crucially), resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth. Most scholars believe Jesus lived and taught, and was executed by the Romans, who knew how to kill a man. Yet a significant group of people became convinced that this man was alive again, and went to their deaths seeking to tell others about him.

The Christian claim is that the Bible is the Word of God, and that God still speaks through it. Why not read one of the accounts of Jesus’ life, such as the gospel of Mark and see? I invite you to investigate Christianity, come with your questions, find a Christian and ask them!

June 2010

23

by

A

lthough its origin is unclear there can be doubt that magic has been performed for hundreds of years and its impact, or rather its place in society, has continuously transformed across the decades.

Historically magic has been used as a tool to provoke fear in those that opposed religion or authoritative figure heads. It is now a popular, universally accepted form of entertainment.

The controversial David Blaine altered the perception of magic by appearing on TV in the late 90s in a t-shirt and trousers performing with little more than a pack of cards. This revolutionised the face of magic and moved it away from the archetypal Paul Daniels, David Copperfield, and grand stage illusionary to something that could be performed informally at a table - Close up magic.

An era filled with subliminal messaging, psychological subtleties in marketing and self improvement books (!) it has become a haven for experts such as Derren Brown to exhibit their work. He uses a symphony of misdirection, magic, and NLP to fashion a relatable and contemporary style of entertainment. There is no measurable difference here, in my opinion, between Derren and self professed ‘spirit readers’. It’s a market that thrives on the exploitation of those who seek help and answers through a medium.

They are presented with a performance based on statistics, body reading, ‘hits and misses’, and prior research on the individual. Frankly, this is as much a part of magic and entertainment as someone who produces a dove from a glove.

I first started magic at the age of ten after being shown a coin trick by a friend. He rubbed a coin on his arm three times, on the third time, the coin had vanished. I was dumbfounded, enticed and mystified. The trick encompassed several central ideas and themes to successful magic which are commonly overlooked: Simplicity, plot, timing and misdirection. So attentive in the hands of my friend, it was from here that I wanted to recreate this very feeling of disbelief for the entertainment of others.

Performing my first show at the age of 14, I continued to cultivate my skills and

24

Issue 204

s u rg e F

an g a n Fla

Circle, must be infiltrated in order to gain access and understanding to this beguiling art.

So on these pages I will reveal some of the skills I have attained from 13 years of performing, allowing you the opportunity to ascertain an effect of intriguing substance, as opposed to your average ‘pick a card’ trick, and therefore rendering you with the ability to allure and entice audiences for yourself. Most importantly however, learning magic offers something distinct that should allow you to break the ice and rise above University’s boring code for conversation: ‘So...what course do you do?’ “What halls are you in?” Let us begin… grow in confidence. I now perform at events ranging from 21sts and Weddings, to V.I.P and corporate events.

My most memorable experience is without question reaching the last 120 in ITV’s ‘Britain’s Got Talent’.

Meeting the judges, and Ant and Dec was great, as well as performing to an audience of 3000. During University my performance at Mr Nottingham sticks out as an interesting highlight. Starting the evening performing an illusion and ending it in my pants with no wallet is something I hope not to repeat.

Across the years, there have been a plethora of experiences ranging from the good and the bad....to the downright Figure 1 strange.

Stereotypically, there are bracketed ‘candidates’ at every event I perform at; the accountants who need to lighten up, the bankers can essentially be wankers and there is always the ‘funny’ guy who endeavours to destroy you. All in all however, it is an entertainment that is received very positively by the majority. Audience management and correctly identifying your ‘mark’ (the person you pick on the most) in the group as well as keeping everyone else engaged is the hardest part of what I do.

Learning magic can inspire creativity and help induce or augment confidence.

Whilst exposure from those that practice magic has been seen as detrimental, even heinous to the art, it is arguably unfair that a certain cleek of ‘devoted’ societies, such as the world’s most famous magic organisation, The Magic

In order to understand the following it has been split in to ‘effect’, and ‘explanation’. The effect will give you an idea of what the trick looks like and it’s outcome. The explanation will explain where in the ‘effect’ you achieve said outcome. Do not try to perform the trick whilst reading ‘effect’ for the first time! It is important that you read the whole article from start to finish in order to gain a full understanding of what is necessary to execute this trick.

Effect The performer takes a shuffled deck from a spectator. From the deck he removes two cards, one red and one black and places them face up on the table, explaining they will act as ‘marker’ cards. With the cards fanned faces towards the performer, (you), he proceeds to remove cards one at a time from the deck and hold it in front of the spectator face down asking them whether they think the card is red or black. The card is placed in an overlapping fashion on the appropriate coloured pile called by the spectator, this is repeated several times as shown below (Fig. 1.).

Figure 1

that whilst scooping up column A you must remove the card on the bottom and place it on top, thus making the indicator card the same colour as all the (remaining) cards in the pile solving the mismatch problem in Fig 5.

After a sufficient amount of cards, (say in this instance nine) have been guessed to be red or black the performer announces that in order to be impartial, it is important that the marker cards are switched from their existing lines so that a preference of left or right has no impact on the outcome. i.e. The red line now becomes the black line, and the black becomes the red as seen below (Fig.2).

Figure 4

Figure 2

The performer now continues as before, removing cards from the deck and holding them in front of the spectator to determine whether they think they are red or black and placing them in the appropriate piles as indicated by the spectator (say another nine cards are used). (Fig.3.)

REMOVE A RED CARD asking the spectator what colour they think it is. It does not matter what colour they say, place as instructed by spectator on the relevant pile. Repeat this, once you have gone through nine cards (or however many you choose) making sure you have ONLY REMOVED RED CARDS, the situation may look like this Fig.4.

(Obviously the cards are face down at this point).

Figure 6

Here you will explain to the spectator that you are going to switch the colour of the piles over, so you place a black marker card on the previously red column and a red marker card on the previously black as shown in previous (Fig.2).

Now you continue the process, removing cards face down but every card you remove from the deck MUST NOW BE BLACK. The pile that the spectator selects does not influence the outcome. Your situation may now look like this, (for the sake of ease I have again got the cards face up, but they would of course be face down) Fig.5.

Figure 3

When the cards are turned face up, it can be seen that the correct coloured cards are located under the correct colour marker cards culminating in an unfathomable and enigmatic display of extra sensory perception. (In other words, inexplicably, all cards beneath the 2 of clubs and queen of spades are black suit and all cards beneath 2 of hearts and queen of diamonds are red.)

Explanation This is classic effect that dates back to 1942. A trick with an impressive history that still remains in the working repertoire of many magicians today, a testament to the incomprehensibility of the effect and impenetrability of its secret. So keep this secret safe.

The secret is a simple one. I will explain in terms of stages.

Stage one, lay down two cards a red one and a black one as explained in Fig. 1. Now run through the cards faces towards so you can see the cards and

Figure 5

As you can see from the image above (where I have prematurely turned the lower half of the columns over), column B is a perfect match with every black card under the correct coloured marker card the queen of spades (the red cards under the two of hearts are the correct colour also). At this point column A has black cards under a red marker card (the queen of diamonds) and red cards under the black marker card (the two of clubs), you must therefore move the black two of clubs from the bottom of the pile to the top. Instruct the spectator to scoop up Column B. Meanwhile you scoop up Column A as below.

Now the all important act for you is

There is no heat on you during the switch (because the spectator is engaged in correctly scooping up his pile) so do not fret! Do this smoothly and whilst talking.

Once you have gathered up all the cards and successfully moved the bottom card to the top you are now in a position to spread out the cards and separate the groups. The top two piles in the photo will be yours and the bottom two piles will be the spectators.

When you turn over the groups of cards, the spectator will see that they have miraculously separated the cards in to red and black. Eat your heart out Derren Brown…

For more magic Youtube ‘Fergus Flanagan’, and don’t forget to log on to the Impact website.

June 2010

25

The Secret Diary of a Call Country Girl...

by Hattie Hamilton I stepped off the train, no doubt resembling a tourist; clutching my snazzy oyster card and tube map, and no doubt a confused facial expression.

26

Issue 204

W

ith the end of my degree approaching and the prospect of a journalism course to follow, it seems I have reached a crossroads in my life; it’s finally time to complete the transformation into fullyfledged adult. It’s time to replace Neighbours with The Archers, Heat with the Spectator and orange squash with cappuccinos.

As I bid farewell to my beloved Robinson’s fruit shoot, (and Paul Robinson too) I also say so long to the green fields of rural Warwickshire in favour of the hustle and bustle of the Big Smoke. And I am less than impressed at the prospect.

I grew up in a hamlet where a “SLOW, children playing” sign was swiftly erected when it was reported that a car sped through the sleepy village at a top speed of 25 mph. The nearest McDonalds is a good 30-minute excursion and you’d be more likely to catch the pigeons canoodling on the garden fence than trackie-clad, greasy haired adolescents swapping saliva on the street corner (please excuse my snobbish stereotypical visual picture). I was of course perfectly content during my sheltered countryside upbringing, but lately I have come to lament my lack of London knowledge. For example, I recently tried to enter a conversation about drugs and inadvertently referred to a tab of LSE as opposed to LSD… you mean, you haven’t taken a hit of London School of Economics recently?

Ultimately, spending three years in a small city such as Nottingham was a good stepping-stone in order to render me entirely oblivious to the screaming sirens and 3am wake-up calls from angry taxi drivers that are so characteristic of city life. However, my preliminary visits to London have hardly left me feeling right at home...

I stepped off the train, no doubt resembling a tourist; clutching my snazzy oyster card and tube map, and no doubt a confused facial expression to boot (just hand me a bumbag and camera and hey presto I’m a full blown sightseer). I was immediately accosted by a remarkably short man, who seemed to consider it perfectly acceptable to firmly cup my right bum cheek before flashing an impressively toothless grin. I resisted the urge to slap him, or otherwise at least stamp my foot and threaten to tell my mummy and settled for a filthy look instead, delivered with enough malevolence it could have sent Adolf Hitler running for the hills.

Remembering my new adult-like poise, I marched off indignantly in search of the tube....

Ah, the tube

Ah, the tube. The ingenious underground creation, masterminded

by John Fowler in 1863 to facilitate the effortless transport around the capital.

Perfectly designed to be every tourist’s worst nightmare. Not only is it a maze of confusing colourful, pretty lines, just waiting to trap you on a train going the wrong way, but it also has a certain set of social norms to which one must adhere, in order to be accepted in the City of London community. Several of these society rules I have unintentionally flouted whilst attempting to join the elite in-crowd (comprising around 7 and a half million carefully selected people).

Firstly I discovered that you should never smile at a random person on the tube. Confused, disturbed and mostly frightened faces will respond to your pleasantries and the odd person may scrabble to the other end of the carriage in a desperate bid for safety.

On one occasion having successfully cleared the surrounding seats in my carriage I decided that minding my own business was a safer option than attempting friendliness and popping in my headphones, I began to relax. That was until the skinny-jean-clad-trilbywearing kids nearby started to snigger loudly and the businessman began to shift uncomfortably in his seat... SO WHAT if I’m listening to Justin Bieber at full volume?! He’s actually really talented and is it obligatory in London to dress like you’re in a band?! Luckily with my stop approaching I could escape the situation swiftly, so I stood up to alight...

And I continued to stand... For what seemed like a lifetime… Tube lesson 2 successfully learnt: Apparently when the kind lady informs you that the next stop is Clapham Common, it is NOT yet time to stand up, you must only leave your seat 2 seconds before the train pulls to a halt to avoid looking like a loitering lemon.

Furthermore, to finally complete my capital social suicide (pun intended) I began to jab frantically at the button to open the train doors, until a kind lady informed me that they actually open automatically. Modern technology hey?

And whilst I’m on a transport rant: The DLR. How is one supposed to find out if you’re going the right way when the platform is eerily deserted and when I tentatively approached the driver’s carriage...there is no driver. TFL take note: automated systems are no use whatsoever to a London newcomer.

Furthermore, the London dress code leaves me somewhat baffled. There is an endless array of multi-coloured, kooky, outfits to be found on the streets of the capital of course aside from the business suit contingent, who incidentally are ALWAYS in a hurry, (how is it possible that you’re permanently late?! Surely it’s all part of the image to be seen dashing on to a tube accompanied by the beeping of the closing doors, tie flying over your shoulder, forehead beading with the first signs of a tube-sweat and hair windswept and flapping dramatically in the wind– just so everyone knows how busy and important you are…)

Londoners seem to live by the motto: Life is a Catwalk. So it seems I must ditch my leggings-top combinations and revamp my wardrobe. Brogues, a trench coat, burgundy tights, a beret, weird, square, red sunglasses and a kilt are all essentials for my new look.

So just when I had lost all hope of ever making my mark on the London scene, I managed to find a small Italian cafe in which to hide myself. Admittedly I could barely even scrabble together enough money for a slice of bread, which raised the question of how I will ever be able to afford to live in this place. You will probably find me scrabbling through the dustbins for leftovers or tottering on street corners in an attempt to survive in a city where a loaf of bread costs about £15. Nonetheless after ten minutes in this delightful mini-Roma I was the proud owner of my first proper London friend, in the form of a wholesome Italian mamma waitress who could be described as something of a cross between the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet and Bella in Fireman Sam. Well, everyone has to start somewhere.

June 2010

27

M

uch of the current political discussion is dominated by economic matters and the election that offered little more than a limited array of bad, worse or truly awful outcomes.

However, the course of education policy is worthy of a great deal of attention and tells us much about the prevailing ideology that grips the main political parties of the UK. We may be aware of policies to introduce the private sector to schools by way of ‘academies’, the upward creep of university tuition fees and the growing calls for education courses to be ‘relevant’, but rarely are these individual policies considered collectively for their overall direction.

It has been all too frequently claimed that our public services and institutions must become quasi- businesses, subcontracting and achieving targets in order to achieve ‘efficiency’ and ‘value for money’. The dogmatic belief that the methods of the private sector are supreme in achieving these goals has led to policies that seek the maximum inclusion of business without losing taxpayer funding.

Of course, for some of the proponents of PFI (Private Finance Initiative) schools in particular, the less heralded element of this thought-process is more avaricious: Why keep a service in the public sphere if someone can make profits from it? Some may like to refer to this as ‘privatisation by stealth’, but this term does not illuminate the underlying desire to capture the very soul and meaning of education in society.

Education is now fast becoming on the one hand, an object that is ‘consumed’ by the individual, investing in the betterment of their labour so that it is worth more in the marketplace. And on the other hand, it is increasingly invested in by business as a facility for the production of a workforce tailored with precisely the right skills and values to suit their needs. Its value is becoming measured in the economic benefits we can derive from it, to the detriment of the values with much deeper meaning; benefits of the cultural richness, social engagement and

28

Issue 204

awareness, and feelings of selffulfilment that it can bring.

New Labour’s flagship education policy has long been its introduction of City Academies into the schools sector. Business has been quick to move in on this opportunity, realising the potential for healthy returns on their investments. The Financial Times last year estimated that the British taxpayer is committed to spending £215 billion over the course of its PFI contracts in all sectors. Many of these schools, such as the City of London Academy, have introduced their own curricula, focussing on business and enterprise, which specifically “aim[s] to equip pupils with the necessary skills and experience to develop careers in these areas” according to their website. This ability to shape the curricula goes beyond the initial claims in favour of PFI initiatives which were related to cost-savings, giving a great deal of control over children’s futures to bodies who the public are less able to hold to account.

Meanwhile, higher education policy has seen the introduction of slowly growing tuition fees, which have often been justified by portraying them as an ‘investment’ that will be repaid by higher salaries in later life. There is a significant chance that the tuition fees cap will go up again on the reccommendation of the review headed by Lord Browne, a panel that notably contains no representation of student views and interests among its members. Some Vice-Chancellors have advocated a free-market system, where ‘elite’ universities would be able to charge fees in the tens of thousands for their popular courses. This review is itself being conducted at the behest of Lord Mandelson, whose Business, Innovation and Skills department produced their own recommendations for the higher education sector. The report is redolent of Mandelson’s own ideological preference for merging business, governmental and cultural matters for economic gain.

It seeks to create a consumerled approach by prospective students when picking universities and courses; universities are to provide information to “help students choose courses that offer the greatest returns in terms of graduate opportunity [read: pay packet].” Announcing its publication in the House of Lords,

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

CONDE

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

CONDE

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

CONDE

Blair

And the comm of education

ENSED

ENSED

ENSED

Mandelson stated his intentions in uncharacteristically forthright terms that:

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

“We will look to business to be more active partners with our universities. We want employers to be fully engaged in the funding and design of university programmes, the sponsorship of students, and offering work placements.”

infiltrated much of society. Clearly, the fixation with growth meant that politicians dismissed the risks associated with the astronomical growth of the financial sector and housing market, the negative consequences of which will affect our society for a generation.

In the pharmaceutical industry

If we are to preserve education as something other than a production line for the private-sector, we must begin to act

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

CONDENSED

rism

mercialisation

by Ben Waite

Business, of course, has long contributed in many forms to the research, funding and graduate opportunities of universities across the country. Mandelson’s intentions were clearly to greatly increase the intimacy of this relationship in the coming years. When we see these elements as a totality of the past thirteen years’ policy direction, the pattern that emerges is clear.

New Labour sought an education sector of business, for business and by business that would have shaped our economy and society in the future.

If we are to preserve education as something other than a production line for the private-sector, we must begin to act. Of course, this will not be remotely simple, as to truly challenge it is to challenge the dominant discourse of our time.

At heart, education policy has taken a direction demonstrative of the way in which ‘Blairism’ and its likenesses have facilitated the broadening of neo-liberalism from its economic roots that saw perfection in unhindered markets and a limited state, to a totalising social project where we are moving towards the measurement of value almost exclusively in pecuniary terms.

Nearly fifty years ago Herbert Marcuse warned that a culture of consumerism which exists in the western world could result in mankind adopting a uni-dimensional form of society and behaviour. His warning is now as stark as it is unheeded, as commodification and commercialisation, inherent to the neo-liberal practice, have accelerated and deepened the trends he identified. Politicians have long felt beholden to economic growth figures above all other social indicators, but under the neoliberal doctrines advocated

by Thatcher and Blair business and economic performance have

profit margins often dictate which kind of research is prioritised, meaning that in many cases baldness cures and impotency medicine take precedence over vaccines and medicines for serious diseases. Recently, the government’s highly publicised call for action on climate change in the Stern Review chose not to give primacy to the moral or geo-political cases for action, but rather the financial one; that to act later would be more costly than to act now. This ethos expands across to many cultural forms also, where the mass commercialisation of professional sports is an excellent example.

Football fans will be all too aware of the increasing sponsorship deals, scramble over TV rights, tours of faraway lands to ‘exploit new markets’, and the steady creep of corporate seating areas that are on the march across clubs in the higher leagues.

These trends reflect the central ethos not only of New Labour, but of the ‘compassionate’ Conservatives of Cameron and the Liberal Democrats under Nick Clegg. The latter two filled our media with promises of something different, yet taking education policy as a microcosm we can see quite how hollow this was. For all their promises to let ‘the big society’ take control of education, or even the Lib Dems’ ambitious claim to phase out tuition fees, we can only realistically expect increased maladjustment of the education sector into a simple economic tool. A new path for education in this country would not only require new policies, it requires a new politics and even the coalition…

June 2010

29

Chicane - Image by Bruno Albutt

Chicane - Image by Matt Turner

Laura Chadwick - Image by Matt Turner

Sébastien Léger - Image by Matt Turner

Matthew Davies-Kreye of Funeral for a Friend Image by Benjamin Oliver Hicks

Image by Bruno Albutt

Chicane - Image by Matt Turner

Gladiators ‘Oblivion’ and ‘Warrior’ - Image by Bruno Albutt

Dino ‘Dappy’ Contostavlos of N-Dubz - Image by Bruno Albutt

N-Dubz performing on the Main Stage - Image by Tara Wallace

Image by Terence Gahdjun Cheung

SPARe PARTS

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

A Guide To… Winning Fame and Fortune

LUCY HAYES

X

-Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, Pop Idol, and a plethora of shows looking for future beaming stars of West End shows – as the franchise grows, you’re able to sing, dance, mime or shriek your way to fame, without the need for contacts in showbiz (or talent). After careful study of the pulsating beast that is the reality TV industry, Impact is able to bring you a definitive guide to success.

TrueLad.com Gabby dematteis

A

n online Mecca to self proclaimed LADs (and I use the caps on purpose) everywhere, TrueLad.com grows in readership and infamy by the day. Popular procrastination as it may be, the fact that most of the anecdotes on the site are either misogynistic or sex-related and sick-makingly disgusting should put me off. And yet, in my innocent quest to find some material for this article, I’ve just spent the best part of 2 hours on the bloody thing, reading through a respectable 19 pages of laddidity. Why?! I so badly wanted to hate TrueLad, planning to condemn it in a tirade of semi-feminist outrage as a sordid, pigheaded symbol of everything that is wrong with the male sex. But sadly, parts of it are too funny to denounce TrueLad in its entirety.

In my defence, the ones that amuse me tend not to be about sex or forcing women to make sandwiches. NB: stories always end in some form of the word ‘lad’ and are rated using a ‘Good Lad’ or ‘Shit Lad’ voting system. Some are life affirming: “Sat on train to Birmingham approaching Wigan and train driver shouts ‘THIS IS WIGAN!’ in the style of ‘This is Sparta’ on the microphone! Train banter LAD” (896 Good Lads, 11 Shit Lads). Some are political: “Just served Gordon Brown at McDonalds - drive through LAD”.

A rating of 254 Good Lads to only 52 Shit Lads here suggests that the former PM is far more popular among the lad sector of the population than the nation as a whole. A key demographic to target in the future, Mr Cameron. Some statements are genuinely lovely testaments to the fact that a ‘lad’ can be more than a heartless, woman-bashing bastard: “I love my mum. LAD” (490/46). Even the ones that do concern sex can be more of a giggle than they are gag-worthy: “I’m ginger and I’ve had sex.

Against all odds LAD” (581/19).

I wouldn’t dare write on it. Anything posted by a girl cringeworthily claiming to be a ‘LADETTE’/‘LADESS’ or horror of all horrors, telling a ‘lad’ to make a sandwich for them is automatically abused with a barrage of dislikes. But why would a girl want to be complicit in what is 90% an anti-female forum anyway? For now, it’s probably best to leave the lads to it. Girls will doubtless have their own (possibly slightly less nauseating) equivalent in time, hopefully adorned with stories of females getting one over on the boys who currently, due to TrueLad, think they’re more untouchable than MC Hammer. Until then, TrueLad remains a strictly male phenomenon. End of article LAD.

34

Issue 204

Ingredient 1: Talent (optional) The level of talent will determine the route you must take for your act. If you have a small measure of talent or above, then your back story is more important. If you have none at all, this should not prevent you, but you need to plan carefully. Being comically bad will only get you through the first few rounds; thankfully Jedward have pioneered a technique of resolute denial of their lack of talent. This primitive form of brainwashing is only able to affect children under 10; unfortunately (or fortunately, for the be-quiffed tone-deaf demons of Dublin), this demographic has an ever-increasing buying power. You will be unable to win the competition, but as these Alan Sugars of the musically-disabled world have proved, you can still secure yourself a lucrative record deal.

Ingredient 2: A real or fictional family at your disposal If you plan a group act, including parents will only get you a sympathy vote. The sickeningly sweet inclusion of a grandparent will again get you through the first few rounds, so ditch the OAP. Siblings can work, but they must be neither too young nor too female; our research has shown that sister acts fare worse than brothers. Sorry girls.

If you’re going solo, it’s imperative that a close family member is critically ill. The dubious morality of gradually poisoning a close relative will be forgiven once you achieve fame and fortune.

Ingredient 3: Tragic life story You must be desperately poor – tell the judges of how you grew up in a cardboard box with your 15 siblings and started work in an illegal sweatshop at the age of two. You were violently bullied at school (or in the sweatshop) for your love of singing/tap-dancing/cabaret, and as a result you were frequently hospitalised, and what’s worse, your painstakingly assembled sparkly costumes were ruined.

The chance of winning Britain’s Got The X-Factor Idol on Ice (delete as appropriate) is the only thing that will justify your brutal childhood.

Good luck, and remember to cry incessantly whilst waving a picture of your dying (poisoned) relative. Success is but a series of embarrassingly emotional auditions away.

Students’ Union ENJOY YOUR SUMMER!

WE WILL STILL BE HERE IF YOU NEED US...

It’s nearly the end of a year at University for many of you and it’s also coming to the end of the year for the students’ you elected into Students’ Union Office nearly 15 months ago. They finish in July when the new Exec, which you elected in March, take over.

The outgoing Exec have written a small farewell/summary of their year below, but all of us wish you a very happy, relaxing and enjoyable summer. If this is your last year at Nottingham, we hope you’ve had a life-changing experience and we wish you the best of luck for the future. Don’t forget, the University still offers career support to graduates so if you’re still looking for a job, check out the ‘Centre for Career Development’ website at www.nottingham.ac.uk/careers.

If you need us or any of the Students’ Union advice and support services throughout the summer break, we’re open all the way through – all our contact details are on the website su.nottingham.ac.uk.

SAM WILKINSON Accommodation & Community Officer They say you can either sink or swim; but it’s all too easy to tread water. You can go all-out in a year but end up where you started.

Fortunately Sam is a breast-stroke Olympian. He has delivered plenty this year: Student Community Wardens; the Big Debate; the tuition fees campaign; Sutton Bonington and JCR developments and more. He was famously quoted saying “on this team, we fight for that inch”; whilst his personal challenge was vertical, the words ring true in everything the Students’ Union does and all Sam has achieved. (Stu)

su.nottingham.ac.uk

CLAIRE GAME Activities Officer

ALEXANDRIA HINGLEY Athletic Union Officer

This year has been absolutely incredible – the things that have made the hard work worthwhile are….199 amazing societies, 6 outstanding SRS’s, seeing hundreds of people keenly decorating their Freshers’ Fair stalls, organising and running events like Refreshers’ Week, Nottingham’s Got Talent, I Heart Socs, the Cultural Festival and the Societies Ball, watching Karni’s total smash £1 million, overseeing the affiliation of 9 new societies, increasing the number of students signing up to societies from 9,036 - 13,019, working closely with the lovely SB Societies Officer, a fantastic office and an amazing exec.

Thank you for electing me; loved every minute.

‘You will never have a year like it again’ is what I am constantly told about my year as AU Officer and I can believe it. This year has been incredible - working with such talented students who have such an enormous passion for sport and getting involved in our Students’ Union has been a huge privilege.

Some of my achievements have been Varsity, AU Ball, restructuring IMS and bringing in a new ‘AU Brand’ of kit. I will never forget this year and I would like to thank everyone for their support, I will really miss being your AU officer.

DAVE HIND Democracy & Communications Officer Thank you for electing me 15 months ago! I’ve had an amazing and busy year in office. My headline successes have been being part of a communications overhaul (making it easier for you to get involved in your SU in the future), and organising and coordinating three huge cross-campus elections. I’ve really enjoyed serving you in this job and I hope I’ve made a difference to your time at University.

Getting involved in the Students’ Union has been the best thing I have ever done and I hugely recommend grasping every opportunity that you get to do the same.

DAN DOWNES Equal Opportunities & Welfare Officer I don’t know how to describe this year.

It has been simply incredible; to work hard alongside a group of similarly passionate people has put the sugary icing on top of a very well made cake. I ran for the position to put mental health issues on the agenda of the Union, to bring faith issues forward, improve the Union’s sexual health provision and to tackle the discrimination that occurs daily but no-one notices. I have worked my hardest to achieve this, and I hope to leave the Union in a better position because of it!

ROXY SHAMSOLMAALI Education Officer I was warned as I took up office that the responsibilities are hefty and that the burdens would crease and fold my skin. If true, it’s certainly been worth it; 2010 has been a phenomenally successful year for the Education Network – we’ve run the voter registration and tuition fees campaign, won a minimum coursework turnaround time, and have started a real review of the libraries. Thank you – to a fantastic exec, great staff, and the 800 reps who have made sure that student issues are landing on my desk every minute of the day. This has been the most incredible year.

THOMAS WILLIAMS Environment & Social Justice Officer I have had an incredible time being your Environment and Social Justice Officer this year. Every minute has been constantly challenging and rewarding from lobbying the university to clean up its act on fairtrade, sustainable living and other student issues, to organising Nottingham’s only renewably-powered festival Sounds on the Downs. I have given everything to this job with the goal of making real changes to the lives of students and the wider environment in which we all live.

Thank you to all the staff and volunteers that have made all this possible.

Good luck to next year’s exec!

STU BAILEY Finance & Services Officer

ROB GREENHALGH President

Winston Churchill stated: “We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it”. Interesting, but unfortunately unrelated to anything I’m about to say about Stu. Stu, I feel, has always modelled himself on WC. Never backing down from a confrontation and truly dedicated to his job, he has shown himself to be a truly inspirational leader. The benefits he leaves to the Students Union may not be glamorous (digital signage and a comprehensive investment policy, for example) but without him the SU would be a poorer, duller place. (Sam)

This year has been challenging but the most incredible experience of my life!

The job gets me out of bed every day and I am going to sorely miss it. Some of my biggest achievements have been conducting the SU Big Review, developing a communications overhaul and achieving wins for space for student groups. My favourite experiences have been seeing how happy you can make students by representing them, and speaking at Fresher’s Address. I hope to leave the Union in a better position as a result of my efforts and I wish Will Vickers all the best next year.

su.nottingham.ac.uk

alley kats

STYLE

BLOGS

YOUR FREE FASHION FIX

TOP 3 MUST HAVE SUMMER ITEMS FOR BOYS AND GIRLS

Photo 1 & 2 Studded Shorts Levis Vintage Denim Vest Vintage Knecklaces Vintage Sunglasses ASOS Shoes Carvela Handbag Chanel White Vest American Apparel

Photo 3 T-Shirt Brick Lane Socks Primark Pendant Vintage

Photography Bruno Albutt Model Katie Sailsbury Stylists Paul Barlow, Grace Gordon Assistant Stylists Jasmin Watts, Charlotte Gelipter, Alexander Griffiths Photography Assistant Matt Turner Digital Editing Leon Jacob

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/style

top 3 must have summer items

Paul Barlow & Grace gordon

Theme

boys

Item

Sailor

Classic

Utility

Breton Striped ‘T’

Desert Boots

Trench

girls Florals

Pastels

Denim

Shorts

Dress

Jacket

Where?

Blogs: Your free fashion fix.

Paul Barlow

W

ith revision a distant memory and that summer job not quite organised, you may be concerned as to how you are going to afford your next style high. Fear not though, as the wonderful world of blogging is here to save your pocket and your clothing credentials. Food for the fashion hungry? I could binge all week!

‘Old Reliable’: TheSartorialist.blogspot. com / Facehunter.blogspot.com A pair of FitFinder’s with pictures for the international style elite. The Sartorialist and Facehunter scour the fashion capitals of the world to bring us photos of fashionistas out and about in cities worldwide. They provide an amazing insight into global trends and are great for style inspiration.

‘The Procrastinator’: Lookbook.nu Lookbook.nu allows users to upload pictures of themselves in their favourite outfits to create an addictive gallery of personal style. A primary source of inspiration, this website is perfect for discovering ways to put together old items of clothing to create up-to-

date looks. A league table also makes it easier to see the most stylish and popular uploaders, some of whom may seem a little self-indulgent with a lot of time to waste. But, hey, free style advice? As a thrifty student with little time myself, I’m not complaining!

‘New Kid on the Block’: Thestylerookie. com I wish I was this cool at thirteen, but unfortunately Nike TNs, Adidas trackies, anything Ted Baker and a Burberry cap comprised my typical outfit of choice at that age… yes, CHOICE! Tavi blogs all things fashion from her favourite editorials, collections and adverts, to old magazines and new releases. A great perspective on fashion through a pair of younger eyes, something especially needed when you reach the ripe old age of 21! That reminds me, can you pass that slanket please…?

‘The Guilty Pleasure’: WhoWhatWear. com Celebrity style spotting. Nothing is more fun than taking one of the few available computers in Hallward to have a cheeky

peek at WWWD. This site provides the perfect platform from which to imitate your favourite celebrity style. It takes various celeb looks and provides details on where you can get each item cheaper elsewhere. In addition, up to the minute trend news and handy hints means you’ll never fall far behind the fashion pack! Sadly I’m still waiting to find out where I can get affordable pyrotechnic underwear as worn by Gaga…rumour has it Matalan is on the verge of a breakthrough…

‘The Wild Card’: BipLing.com Described as a ‘one woman culture industry’, Bip Ling gives us in insight into her ‘oh-so-fabulous’ life. With regular snippets from fashion editorials and observational posts (comme des garçons and My Little Pony feature regularly), it is Ling’s eccentric yet endearing commentary on fashion together with her interesting use of graphic design that makes this blog an altogether different read. It’s individual, just like her.

JUNE 2010

41

travel

(Middle) Eastern Promises: Pakistan Ruth Edwards

L

ahore city rises in the dust, kites soar in the air, at one moment ominously circling as if vultures above a corpse, the next diving with delightfully majestic ease. This juxtaposition perfectly encapsulates the experience I had of Pakistan. Here, poverty literally lives in the shadow of wealth; families crowd under a stretch of tarpaulin while next to them the wealthy build richer and more lavish homes.

Yet, whoever we met, no matter their situation, the people were so kind and went out of their way to help.

Pakistan has become infamous in world news for the danger that has stained this country since the rise of terrorism, but rarely do we get to see the Pakistan that is under this veil of violence. This is not to say that there is no danger here.

Wherever we went, we passed places where bombs had exploded, sites where terrible things had happened; like the roundabout where a bus filled with the Sri Lankan cricket team was attacked by machine guns. Although I was always conscious of my own safety, I would have never let this fear stop me; more than anything it was a fear totally fashioned by the media.

In fact I usually worried about my safety for an entirely different reason. I would cling desperately to the side of the seat as we sped along the crazy roads of Lahore, where traffic laws seem completely absent.

Cyclists and donkey carts gently make their way,

42

Issue 204

seemingly oblivious to both the vehicles on and direction of the road. Worst of all are the motorbikes, which twist and turn through the traffic at incredible speed, much of the time with three or four passengers. The women ride sidesaddle, seemingly unperturbed by their precarious situation, and with many holding their children or packages.

Crossing a main road was an immense challenge, and one I only attempted once.

Unlike most major cities in the world today, Lahore at night does not glow, instead millions of lights pierce through the black, and when an ‘outage’ happens it is plunged into darkness with only the headlights cutting through the night. The ‘outages’ are caused by load shedding implemented by the government due to their inability to pay the nation’s electricity bills. Previously a lot of the electricity came from hydroelectric power; however, since India has been forced to build dams for their own irrigation, the Pakistani government has failed to put into place their own plan of action.

Some parts of the country survive on only eight hours of electricity from the national grid a day. Many places have their own generators, but this is only an option for those that can afford it.

The worst affected are the state-run hospitals that cannot afford to maintain the cost; it is here that the effects of the load shedding cause the most damage.

The thing that impressed upon me the most was that, even in the face of such adversity, the people here are incredibly resilient; always making the most out

of what must be exceptionally tough situations.

It is a very interesting and yet strange experience to observe the ceremony that take place on the India-Pakistani border on a daily basis. Each evening both countries participate in an extravagant ceremony to close the border, in celebration of their individual nations and in recognition of everything that they share. It is here that both the similarities and differences between these two countries are most noticeable.

Although there is still some aggression between these two countries, a consequence of Pakistan’s struggle for independence, this ceremony gives no indication. It is simply a celebration of everything their country is, and of how much it means to them. The enthusiasm is really overwhelming and I was completely drawn in, joining in with the cheers of “Pakistan, Zindabad” (Pakistan, Live Forever!) as they tried to drown out the cheers of the Indian side even though it far outnumbered ours. It was here that I fully appreciated Pakistan’s pride in their country, a country they fought for, not only against the British colonists but also to gain independence for their culture and way of life.

Pakistan left a lasting impression on me, mostly by the people, who are faced with more adversity than I have ever seen and yet still manage to be so generous.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/travel

A semester in NYC Shara Hikmet

A

playground for the rich, famous and ambitious, New York City truly is a “concrete jungle where dreams are made of” (in the words of Alicia Keys). I took advantage of the American education system to spend the second semester of my study abroad year interning at Ladies’ Home Journal, the fifth-largest women’s lifestyle magazine in the States.

In the place where Sex and the City was born, I arrived at the internship full of hopes and dreams of what the semester would bring. Would I get to attend fabulous fashion parties, would I be whisked away to South Beach to help out at a photo shoot, would Orlando Bloom finally realise his true feelings for me during an interview? Thus, I could hardly contain my excitement when my first task as an intern was to attend an event hosted by none other than Whoopi Goldberg! Unfortunately, she was MIA due to snowstorms, and I had to listen to a group of 50 year olds discuss their bladder issues. Hmm... slightly less than fabulous.

Nonetheless, with a new flair of confidence as a Carrie Bradshaw protégé, I was determined to immerse myself in glitz and glamour. Amidst the

hustle and bustle of New Yorkers, the city offers a window of opportunities for new arrivals. The plethora of city sounds, dazzling lights and vibrant atmosphere is enticing. One step on the subway and the melting pot of diverse cultures and races, all with a thirst for success, can be observed in this cosmopolitan city.

My expectations of The Devil Wears Prada anxiety-fueled office were pleasantly false. The staff were welcoming and insured that my experience was fantastic. The FashionEditor even handed me her tickets to attend Mercedes Benz fashion week - a time when the city embraces itself for the couture, the chic and the celebrities.

Dining on the table next to Leonardo Di Caprio and partying besides Chase Crawford’s VIP table becomes a genuine possibility; nothing says bright lights until you are blinded by the plethora of flashes by paparazzi cameras at these shows.

As the weekends arrive, city-dwellers prepare to spend their hard earned dollars on Sunday brunch, sight-seeing and shopping. Nonetheless, as an unpaid intern, I was deluded when strutting down Fifth Avenue in the hope

of purchasing the latest trends. Only once I had noticed that the bag I was admiring in Louis Vuitton would wipe clean my student loan did I decide to stick to H&M instead. Perhaps I was getting a little Carrie-d away. To satisfy one’s hunger from walking crazily around the grid system (a life-saver for those of us who lack any sense of direction), delve into the trendy Meatpacking district. Late-night dining at the assortment of high-rated Asianfusion restaurants, followed by dancing and delectable cocktails, kept me going back. Testament to the ruthless and fashion conscious city, even the bouncers at Buddha Bar “don’t do flipflops.”

As the jazz ensembles prepared to end their musical accompaniments on a high final note in lower Manhattan, I too was slowly approaching the end of my internship. With fashion shows, media events and photo shoots under my belt, I decided that there was only one way to culminate the trip on a high: with a famous New York steak. The juicy Prime Grill steak certainly hits the spot and puts those in the ‘city that never sleeps’ to rest. Until next time, partying in Ocean will have to suffice.

JUNE 2010

43

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/travel

24 Hours in Warsaw

Martin Gowans 8am – Dworzec Centralny You’ll most likely find yourself at the central station. This behemoth with its ‘unique’ smell was opened in 1975. Grab yourself a 24-hour public transport ticket because everything in Warsaw is pretty spread out.

9am – Palace of Culture and Science Get your bearings with a trip to the thirtieth floor of Poland’s tallest building (20/15zl). The Palace of Culture was built in the 1950s after Stalin offered Warsaw a gift of either a metro system or a palace. Warsaw asked for the metro system but got the Palace anyway.

10am – Warsaw Uprising Museum Having seen the best views of Warsaw, head to the nearby Warsaw Uprising Museum to gain a grasp of the most pivotal part of Warsaw’s modern history. The Warsaw Uprising acts as a symbol for Polish national identity, consequently giving post-War Varsovians an opportunity to recreate the city. They chose to painstakingly reconstruct Warsaw as it had been previously using surviving paintings as a basis. Russian inaction to help has, however, never been forgotten.

3pm – Lazienki Park Take the bus down to the 76-hectare Łazienki Park and take a stroll in the afternoon sun. While there, check out the Palace on the Water, so named as it’s situated on an island in the lakes.

Make your way up to the Chopin sculpture on the edge of the park by Al. Ujazdowskie, where you will find Chopin recitals every Sunday at 12pm and 4pm throughout the summer.

7pm – Nowy swiat 22 Ready to start the night? Head up to Nowy Świat where at no. 22, tucked behind an opening in the shops and a run of bars, you will find the best place in Warsaw to get some beers and maybe some shisha.

10pm – ul. Mazowiecka Head to the Tygmont jazz club to sample some great live jazz and flavoured vodka. After a couple of hours you will be ready to hit some clubs – head to Klub Zoo just across the road.

11am – Jewish Warsaw

3am – Cinnamon

Next, take the short bus or tram journey to ul. Zlota 62 where a harrowing fragment of World War II remains. Tucked between innocuous flats is a surviving section of the Warsaw Ghetto wall. A seminal museum is currently being built and is set to open in 2012.

Cinnamon, not too far away on pl.

Piłsudskiego, is where Warsaw’s young, rich and beautiful hang out.

Drop in for some of the best peoplewatching in Warsaw.

12pm – Old Town and the Royal Route The Old Town was almost completely destroyed during the Warsaw Uprising but was reconstructed after the War. Make your way to the Royal Castle, which sits in the Vistula escarpment and was built in the 1970s. Stroll leisurely down the Royal Route, taking

44

in the Presidential Palace and the Holy Cross Church, where Chopin’s heart is interred. For an authentic Sovietic dining experience, drop into the milk bar at Nowy Świat 39, where you will be able to fill yourself up for the change you have in your pocket.

Issue 204

6am – Luzztro Still going? Head to Luzztro on al.

Jerezolomskie, apparently open 22 hours a day, although no one is quite sure about which two hours it is closed for. From here you will just need to stumble into any tram heading back towards the city centre to arrive back at the station and complete your 24 hours in Warsaw.

Summer Break 2010

S

o you’ve finished your exams and worked super hard – well, at least in the last few hours once ‘The Fear’ had set in.

By anyone’s standards, that equals holiday time. But for many of us the problem found when looking to have fun in the sun lies in with the same culprit that stops us from doing our food shopping at Waitrose: money.

Why not try Summer Break 2010.

Located in Newquay, the student’s annual summer holiday has become synonymous with sunbathing, clubbing and a superb continuation of the general uni antics that ensue throughout the academic year. A four day, four night mischief-fest, described as a ‘caravan hopping, bed swapping, sunset snogging post-exam party,’ it’s not for the faint hearted. But surely that wouldn’t dampen the hearts of the UK’s finest students.

For more details including caravan and camping prices and a video of former Summer Break frolics, check out www.summerbreak.co.uk.

arts

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/arts

Impact arts Competition: ‘A View of Nottingham’

Hannah Peters june 2010

45

L

ast term we launched ‘A View of Nottingham: Impact Arts Competition’ to showcase some of Nottingham University’s undiscovered artistic talent. In the course of the last few months we have been sent some brilliant (and often surprising) entries ranging from technically accomplished architectural drawings to an Ugg-boot photomontage! The entries reveal how varied our student experiences and perceptions of Nottingham are.

We hope that whilst relating to some of the images they also spark off new perspectives and ideas about our city.

We would like to thank everyone who submitted images, the standard of entries was very high but unfortunately there were just too many to include here. Simon Kinvig’s drawing deserves special mention for the imaginative way in which he integrates a typical image of graduation with his illustration of Market Square, probably the most recognisable and traversed part of our city centre (even if it is only en route from Coco Tang to Oceana).

VIcky Carter and Anne Moore

Sammy Fuller

46

Issue 204

Simon Kinvig

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/arts

Uneven Geographies

@ Nottingham Contemporary Giselle Kennedy

L

ive frogs, in an art gallery! Yes, Nottingham Contemporary has become home to five albino African clawed frogs. The frogs are unknowing participants of the ‘Uneven Geographies’ exhibition, which exposes the detrimental impact of globalisation on the world. Éduardo Abaroa’s amphibious art is representative of the imperialist colonisation of language, where one dominant culture imposes itself on another. It takes a leap of imagination to envision the meaning behind this living, breeding and visual metaphor. But as the gallery assistant explained, African clawed frogs are typically dominant. Like the grey squirrel their presence can lead to the extinction of indigenous species.

As viewers, we might perceive the frogs as symbolic agents of American imperialism, or European colonialism.

However we shouldn’t forget the frogs are, in fact, African, leading to the uncomfortable notion of African slavery, still a contemporary issue. You only have to think of the film Blood Diamond, where Africans oppress other Africans. Öyvind Fahlström continues the theme of global oppression, by placing it firmly on the map. A journey around ‘Garden – A World Model’, Fahlstrom’s fragmented 3D leaf map, reveals shock statistics such as: “the USA consumes 52% of the world’s food and has 17% of the world’s population”. Fahlström may use comic strip form, but these revelations are far from humorous. Pip, a member of environmentalist group, Transition Nottingham described the map as: “just jaw-dropping.” Fahlström’s intention is to distribute his work to as wide an audience as possible through the interactive form of magnetic political

jigsaw puzzles.

Like Fahlström, Cildo Meireles’ art has undergone a wide circulation. Meireles adulterated every glass Coca Cola bottle he could get his hands on in the 1970s, stamping them with statements like ‘Yankees Go Home!’ Undetected by the Coca Cola factories, they were refilled, and his anti-imperialist messages were distributed around Latin America, encouraging resistance.

The art in this exhibition inspires the viewer to look carefully at the dominant hegemony, encouraging the discussion necessary for change to begin within ourselves and our society. The message is: We have to be the change that we want to see in the world.

Uneven Geographies is accompanied by a series of free lectures and ends on Sunday 4 July 2010.

The Inconsistency of Everything @ The New Art Exchange Victoria Urquhart

G

olden tigers carrying neon letters rotate slowly next to an aluminium disco hut, which sits in a shallow pool of milk. Walking into ‘The Inconsistency of Everything’ at the New Art Exchange, you’d be forgiven for thinking you’d walked into a Dali dreamscape.

As trippy as Harminder Singh Judge’s work first appears, together the collection of seemingly discordant elements create a very succinct biographical comment. His work is about the meeting of east and west in the clash of religious iconography with mass culture. He mixes elements of Indian folklore with western

mythologised perceptions of the east, and comments upon the performance of religion in the west- that is, the displacement of worship in English secular society, from religion to celebrity culture.

For example, the 10ft black be-tongued face that watches over me as I write this pays homage to Kali, the destructive and mischievous Hindu goddess who is painted on abodes in Judge’s ancestral home town in India, as well as Kiss front man, Gene Simmons. The similarities between the reverence with which we treat these alternative types of icon resounds around this impressive gallery space.

One of the most successful things about the exhibition is curator, Michael Forbes’ decision not to include labels around the exhibition. It often frustrates me watching people spend 15 minutes reading a label, and then 30 seconds looking at a whole room full of art objects. As a result, you may, like me, spend a long time thinking: ‘I am in the head of a madman’, but at least you’ll be thinking. I still haven’t figured out the tigers....

The Inconsistency of Everything ends on Saturday 3 July 2010.

june 2010

47

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/arts

How to Get Published Michael de Vletter

H

aving spent the Easter holiday reading, highlighting and reading some more, in the corner of a publisher’s office I have been the accidental eavesdropper to many a conversation between editors. Their criticisms would be very useful to someone who wants to see their books at the front of shop in Waterstones; so let me impart a few simple tips on how to get on the shelves…

Be Original J.K. Rowling is queen of magical fiction and Stephanie Meyers rules the vampires. Yet just because these made it big, aspiring authors are surprised that when they submit similar stories they get rejected. Do something different, get a new idea and be creative.

Be on the Ball I wonder what the average time it takes for someone to get their names in the headlines before the submissions come rolling in. Already publishers are releasing books on Glee, Taylor Lautner and three hundred pages on the issues between Ashley and Cheryl Cole.

So keep your ears to the ground, scour the news and flip through Heat: the next best-selling biography may have your name on the spine. And don’t worry about not having any inside knowledge about your subject; apparently, despite our lecturers’ distaste for it, Wikipedia is a credible source when writing a biography in a matter of weeks!

Be Smart For a better chance of making it, do the work of the editor for them! Tell them why your idea would sell books, sort your spelling and grammar out before you send it their way, and find out who will actually be making the decision (pretty difficult if it’s a temp like me). If the publisher’s already had issues with the text before you are even an investment then it probably doesn’t bode well…

Befriend an Editor One of the editor’s wrote her own book and is now editing her own work! Befriend those who approve or turn down submissions and you’ve got a shoe-in.

48

Ultimately, don’t give up! Harry Potter got turned away by eight different publishers before Bloomsbury took it on. I had the ‘pleasure’ of crushing one author’s dreams the other day and I may well have just made a very bad decision for the company... but by the time they realise this I will be long gone.

Issue 204

So Much More than ‘Amateur’ Theatre: Cesar Teixeira

N

estled next to the Archaeology and Classics building is The New Theatre. Maybe you’ve seen the posters all over campus (phallic ones included); maybe you’ve received a few fliers (or even condoms); or maybe you’ve seen the hoodies that dot campus, but trust me, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen one of their shows. This ‘amateur theatre’ produces work whose standard far exceeds this label.

And its members will never let you forget it. They defend their hard work, their colleagues and friends with passion. And each and every one of them willingly sacrifices their lives and degrees to this theatre.

To what end? To bring quality theatre to our campus, entertain their fellow students and nurture the many talented people who inhabit it.

Over the course of the last semester we have seen it all. Some have chosen to delve into language, its interplays and subtleties with plays like The Winterling and The Small Things. Others brought to the stage characters of such realism and depth that many left feeling that the Road they saw on that stage could really have been a road back home.

A few revived new writing and all the Excess of challenges it brings. A Dinner party was hosted and brought to its dramatic conclusion. We were asked ‘What is the nature of art, and does it have boundaries?’ with The Shape of Things. Taken to Our Town of Grover’s Corners, where life took its course. A brave few took on classics, to stupendous results: Tom Stoppard’s The Real Inspector Hound and Timberlake Wertenbaker’s The Love Of The Nightingale. In short, as cliché as it sounds, there really was something for everyone.

I have seen all these many wonderful people bring to the stage work that exceeds some ‘professional’ companies. This is just my opinion but I am sure that if you take the time and watch a show, there is fact still one left this season – His Lordship Entertains, it will be your opinion too.

nights

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NIGHTS

‘Best of Nottingham’ Awards

T

his year the aim of the section was to introduce students to the copious amounts of bars, clubs, restaurants and events in Nottingham, to show that there is more on offer than Ocean and Crisis (as much as they are loved). We have chosen from the best venues, music, food and cocktails so you can end the year in style and pick up where you left off on your return in September.

Best Bar When looking to attach the moniker “Best Bar” to a drinking establishment in Nottingham, a number of factors need to be considered. A bar needs to look great and have a terrific atmosphere. It needs to have tasty drinks, fantastic music and promotional nights galore. Crucially for Impact, it needs to address the needs of students, allowing us to get intoxicated for less, but still make us feel like we’re the belles of the ball.

The place which springs to mind has an ever-changing plethora of live DJs, friendly bar-staff serving delicious cocktails, a wide range of beers, wines and spirits which supply students with night after night of drinks deals, allowing us, The Great Unwashed, to mix with the fashionistas and cool-cats of Nottingham and not feel out of place.

But where fulfils all these criteria and more? Brownes, that’s where.

Adam Dawes

Best All-you-can-drink Night

Boogie Nights has nailed the recipe for the perfect allyou-can-drink student shindig, gaining huge success after only 3 events. What could be better than combining two of Nottingham Uni students’ favourite pastimes; decking yourself out in ridiculous fancy dress and getting utterly inebriated?

But let’s not get preoccupied with clichéd ‘laddisms’ about the wonders of limitless lash. It’s not just alcohol that makes Boogie Nights such a beauty; it’s also the little touches that do it - the way every night has a different theme, free sweets, quirky decorations and prizes for best fancy dress. As if all this wasn’t enough, serving up a selection of 60s and 70s soul, disco, funk and motown within the intimate walls of Snug (where you can shake your stuff ‘till 4am) produces a feelgood vibe and party atmosphere that makes this a night like no other. Miss your 9am the next day? Blame it on the Boogie (Nights).

Gaby Dumont

Best Cocktail Blues Blazar at Tilt Bar. Cognac muddled with orange liquor, vanilla sugar and warmed over a flame.

Best Event Seven-Legged

june 2010

49

‘Best of Nottingham’ Awards cont.

Best Pub

Best Restaurant

Students and pubs are quite a synonymous and harmonious paring. According to a national study we spend between 350 and 450 minutes each week at the pub on average. A home from home some may say. So, it figures our pub of choice is one that is welcoming, awash with comfortable furnishings, offers a fantastic selection of drinks that can even keep the ale enthusiast happy, and a Sunday Roast to rival Mum’s.

Fortunately, the Sir John Borlase Warren (pictured) in Canning Circus can proudly boast all of the aforementioned. The pub has a living-room finish, complete with dark wood, leather sofas and chandeliers; it is an interior triumph and delight.

Harts Restaurant, Park Row, is tipped as the crème de la crème of Nottingham’s cuisine. Its classy surroundings, tucked away in the Park Estate, combine with high quality service and a dining experience rarely available to students. However, if the occasion merits a budget of £40 a head - anniversaries, birthdays or a visit from parents - you will not be let down. A modern take on old British classics - try venison served with a daring chocolate sauce - is this establishment’s forte, and a meal enjoyed in the rustic environs of Harts is a truly classy affair. Unfortunately, a visit to Hart’s is a rare luxury, but The Living Room opposite Pitcher and Piano, in the Lace Market, offers an excellent alternative on a budget. At £25-£30 a head, this is a romantic setting and offers a range of unintimidating dishes, from seafood and salads to Asian and Italian, there literally is something for everyone.

Stephen Wythe and Jonathan Mackie

Aside from all the usual beers, wines and spirits you would expect to find in a pub, real ale lovers are catered for well, with 4 permanent fixtures including Green King IPA as well as rotating guest ales. So, if you like the sound of whiling away the time in a traditional English pub that ticks all the boxes, we solidly recommend the Sir John Borlase as our Best Pub. Katie Cook

Best Boys’ Night Hooters

Best Girls’ Night CocoTang

50

Issue 204

Best Freshers’ Night I take great pride in being a fresher. It is a time when we all do idiotic things for no apparent reason, and make complete imbeciles of ourselves in the name of Lord L.G. Banter. So where can the first year best express that insatiable desire for freedom? This has been a difficult decision to make, as I don’t want people who ritually take a dip in the Ocean to start bottling me in the streets for saying that Crisis is the best freshers night. It smells bad and it makes you hot like

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NIGHTS

Tropicana, but it stays up all night getting lashed, making it the ultimate night for any budding fresher. Thank ye o temple to Lord L.G. Banter!

Max Sutcliffe

Best Newcomer

Best Night

Give them.....@ Bodega This year saw the arrival of the much loved combination of synthy tech, lazer electro, bumping house, rude dub, baile funk, afrobeat, bassline garage and general skankyness. As well as having the most welcoming and “house party” vibe of any professional club night run in Nottingham, it is something totally new and different for people looking for a new style of clubbing, whatever their music taste. If you’re new to the sort of music played at Stealth and most electro nights, then this is the best place to ignite that newfound passion for all things electro and bass.

On top of that, it’s a student run night, so exclusivity and pretentiousness is left on the pavement as this cool clan get you moving well into the early hours. Although the venue is small compared to most, this only helps the flow of sound waves right through you as you sip on your Red Stripe or Jaeger Bomb (no cocktails allowed). This is an absolute must for when you return next year.

Nina Sorensen

If we took it upon ourselves this year to bring you the antithesis to Oceana and Ocean, then it is only fitting that our best night award goes to Twisted Hearts Club. It shoved its way into the student week unashamedly and is now a stalwart in many a student’s nighttime plan. Held every other Monday night at Pink, the night is a concoction of face paints, circus acts and blinding lights with dirt-cheap drinks and possibly the friendliest crowd in any club in Nottingham. The music is a medley of jungle-bass-dubstep-folk; a description can’t even do it justice. If there is one night that needs to be attended it’s this one. This may sound incredibly over the top but to get our prize as favourite night of the year but it really did stand out, seeing off competition from new nights popping up across Nottingham to be the crowned the winner. Well done Twisted Hearts Club, you have become our best night of the year.

Sam Tully

The Underground Rebel Bingo Club

Best Music

june 2010

51

music

SUMMER F

festivals

Burning Man Festival - Nevada Desert, USA. 30th August - 6th September.

Download Festival - Donington Park, England. 11th - 13th June.

B

T

urning Man is like Disneyland for adults, though trying to describe exactly what this Disneyland is like is like trying to describe colour to a blind person.

For a start, not even the organisers know who, or what, is going to turn up. The only sure thing about it is that it takes place in the Black Rock desert of Nevada, where Burning Man becomes Nevada’s fourth largest city in the week it runs. Getting there is the first hurdle as all motor vehicles are banned from the site. Instead, travel is only permitted on ‘mutant’ vehicles - which last year included a fully motorised replica of the Golden Gate Bridge. There are no shops, no acts, no main stage and no money allowed. ‘There are no rules - this is your playground, you’re four years old again, having a fucking blast’. Nothing is for sale, bar water and ice.

Instead, people arrive stocked with supplies ready to give to those who need them as and when they please.

No artists are paid, or even booked. They must buy a ticket, like everyone else, and it’s up to them to bring and set up their own sound systems. No one knows who will definitely show, but past years have seen the likes of Mathew Johnson, Magda and Kode IV playing and camping in amongst the crowds. Whilst music is an essential part, Burning Man is so much more, central to which stands a giant wicker man. Rising high above the crowds, he is set alight on the penultimate night and hence gives us the name ‘Burning Man’.

his year Download festival will be celebrating its 30th birthday in style and sees comeback shows from two of the biggest names in the world of rock and metal: AC/DC and Aerosmith. Not only this, but the Christmas number one act (thankfully not Joe McElderry), Rage Against the Machine, will be headlining too, set to rock the main stage on the Saturday night. Heavier acts like As I Lay Dying, Five Finger Death Punch and the mighty Lamb of God have also secured slots, ensuring there is something for everyone. With four stages (probably five by the time you read this) and almost one hundred acts currently confirmed, the Download weekend looks set yet again to provide a weekend crammed full of more beer, metal and overpriced food than you could ever hope for.

Matthew Lambert

Green Man - Brecon Beacons, Wales 20th – 22nd August.

S

Angus Drummond

Exit Festival - Petrovaradin Fortress, Serbia.

8th - 11th July 2010.

S

et against the magical backdrop of an old Austro-Hungarian fortress perched 40metres above the River Danube, the location alone indicates that Exit Festival in Serbia is going to be something special and the lineup for 2010 certainly backs this up.

Whilst offering the usual dance festival juggernauts (Boys Noize, Erol Alkan, Pendulum etc…), Exit 2010 also boasts artists as diverse as Missy Elliot, The Exploited and The Chemical Brothers.

With six different stages to choose from, showcasing the best of house, electro, rock, hip-hop, punk, reggae and much, much more, Exit’s line-up is bound to please even the most die-hard of Glasto/Reading fans. In-keeping with

52

Issue 204

its political underpinnings, Exit permits for 40 non-governmental organisations from South East Europe to set up shop there whilst the event is taking place, to give festival-goers a chance to see what they do; taking a greener turn in recent years with greater emphasis being placed on world ecology. The Exit camper is encouraged to take an active role in helping the environment. With all aspects of conscience being taken care of and the small bonus of watching some electrifying bands, DJs and artists, Exit truly is one of the best festivals around.

Oh, and do you know what the best part of it is? It costs just £85…

Rosie Kynman

ituated in the Welsh Hills of the Brecon Beacons, Green Man gives you a relaxed atmosphere, a cool breeze and alternative music.

Last year’s highlights include Animal Collective, Grizzley Bear, Beach House and Four Tet. This year they have tried to go one better with the ever-experimental The Flaming Lips headlining and folk icon Joanna Newsome bringing her harp and Swedish melodies that have charmed fans around the world. This year we also see a range of bands from the nihilistic-noise duo of Fuck Buttons, folk pop singer Laura Marling, Leeds sensations Wild Beasts, the ethereal and haunting tones of Girls, and anarchist national treasure Billy Bragg. This festival promises to bring the best of the music world whilst giving an even more relaxed atmosphere than the Big Chill, and without the hassle of a large festival like Glastonbury. Workshops will also be high on the agenda - indulge yourself in the ‘shed of invention’ and make anything from wooden spoons to poetry.

Chris Jones

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/music

FESTIVALS Lattitude - Southwold, England. 15th - 18th July.

T

ucked away in the heart of the Suffolk countryside, you could easily dismiss Latitude festival as a pint-sized Glastonbury.

Yet, this bohemian jamboree has a distinct charm all of its own. Not only does this year’s line-up boast the much-anticipated return of Scottish sweethearts Belle & Sebastian, but Latitude will also play host to an array of acts including Yeasayer, Vampire Weekend, Crystal Castles and The xx. If this rather impressive assembly of musical treats is not enough to galvanise your mud-encased hunter wellies into a festival frenzy, perhaps the alternative delights Latitude has to offer on the literary and theatrical scene will. Writing workshops and

poetry readings provide a soothing antidote to the previous night’s partying; whilst the dazzling cabaret acts, film screenings and comedy acts lend to the surreal atmosphere that surrounds this Suffolk bubble. At a time when festivals are ten-a-penny, the Latitude experience presents a unique opportunity to stumble across an openair Shakespearean performance or a masked ball all within a square mile radius. What’s more, why not lose yourself completely in elaborate fancy dress? After all, life is a cabaret.

Daisy Mash

Isle of Wight Festival - Isle of Wight, England. 11th - 13th June.

I

f you find yourself mooching about after exams then head on down to the Isle of Wight Festival for what looks to be one of the festival highlights of the summer. Despite having only two stages, the festival’s line-up is impressively eclectic.

Festival goers can sample the talents of Marina and the Diamonds and the sensational Florence and the Machine, all before the big dawg Jay-Z steps up and shows us why he is so blinkin’ rich. Saturday sees the variety continue with Blondie, Bombay Bicycle Club, Vampire Weekend and the ever tuneful Devendra Braveheart - all on show in the lead up to the band so many kids in skinny jeans would give their left Converse for, The Strokes. The treats are still not over with Sunday packing several huge yet aurally pleasant punches in the form of Pink, Editors, Friendly Fires and the ‘Golden’ boys of the 80s, Spandau Ballet. In addition, those in the know can revel in the delights of Ocean Colour Scene, before heading to the main stage to see the weekend out with singa-long supremo, Paul McCartney. So if you fancy a weekend surrounded by some truly great acts and a festival that isn’t just about the top 10, then come along. And after all, if Jimi Hendrix thought it was cool enough to play here in the 70s, then surely it’s good enough for you!

Ben Pound

Impact also Recommends: Indietracks - Derbyshire 23rd 25th July ‘An Indiepop Festival’ Summer Sundae – Leicester 13th – 15th August.

‘A Musical Treat’ Secret Garden Party Cambridgeshire 22nd - 25th July ‘A garden-party-gone-crazy’.

Sonar - Barcelona 17th-19th June ‘Advanced music and multimedia art’ Outlook - Croatia 2nd - 5th September.

‘Mega Dubstep’ London Electronic Dance Festival - London 27th - 28th August ‘Let’s Dance’

Bestival - Isle of Wight, England, 9-12th September

R

ob Da Bank’s themed late summer carnival has been growing in reputation year on year, and 2010 brings the so-called ‘year of the fantastic’ to the Isle of Wight. Environmentally conscious and wonderfully bizarre, Bestival has swiftly established itself as one of the UK’s leading festivals, with over 50,000 music-lovers expected to attend this year. The 2010 event promises to be as ridiculous as some of the costumes that will be on display on fancy-dress Saturday, with Dizzee Rascal, Flaming Lips and the Prodigy headlining. But Bestival line-ups are more about depth and variety than world-conquering headline acts, and as such the bill is packed with some of the most forward thinking artists in indie and electronic music. 2010 also provides rare (and possibly final) opportunities to catch LCD Soundsystem, Gil Scott Heron and Roxy Music (Brian Ferry included). And as if that wasn’t enough, just picture the Saturday evening; thousands of superheroes, fairies, dragons, Vikings and goodness knows what else, bouncing up and down in front of Rolf Harris and his wobbleboard. Majestic.

Patrick Coussens june 2010

53

spring album reviews

Goldfrapp – Headfirst You may be told that Headfirst - the fifth studio instalment from Will Gregory and Alison Goldfrapp, known to us as Goldfrapp - is a glorious celebration of true pop music, and anyone that tells you it isn’t can be called an outright fool. Well call me an outright fool. The album cover puts you in the clouds, as does the music. Goldfrapp stick to their guns with the Gary Numan-esque keyboard, but this is not pop music.

This is a celebration of electro, of chilled disco, almost a modern, cloudy version of ABBA. Pop music these days tends not to focus around escapist lyrics of rejecting a lover in the addictive ‘Rocket’ and the problems love brings in ‘Hunt’. This album is a more revitalised lift from the darker material of Goldfrapp’s past, immediately reflected in a high tempo start to the album. It has a more joyous feel, a summery feel, only to be released in perfect timing with the summer ahead. Goldfrapp, in my view, haven’t reached their previous heights with this one. Personally I prefer the older, darker tunes, and this album gets a bit familiar a bit too quickly.

Thomas Jenkins

Mr. Fogg - Moving Parts This band give little away with their vague and colourless album cover, but unperturbed by a mystery I waded into the Fogg. First encounter: the opening track, inspiringly titled ‘A Second Look’.

I was exposed to the cold, wet force of a combo of wailing violins and a melancholy of vocals. Unable to divine anything from the lyrics, I concluded that this song could only be about the unpleasant experience of being repeatedly and very slowly slapped about the face by a shoal of tiny, malicious fish. This minimalistic malice pervaded across the entire album; whilst there were a few bright patches in places like Track Four, ‘Stung’ and Eight, ‘Keep Your Teeth Sharp,’ it’s clear to me that the main aim of this super group was to create the aural equivalent of SAD (that’s seasonal adjustment disorder, folks). For hardier souls seeking a touch of Vampire Weekend meets Radiohead inside a dark, dark tunnel, tune in, but for lovers of something more upbeat and... passionate, stay away. Once inside the Fogg it’s hard to get out.

Katherine Rutherford

54

Issue 204

Liars – Sisterworld Three-piece band, Liars, originally from Los Angeles, is an odd one. The band is known for its dramatic shift in styles between albums; they began with a dance punk sound in album They Threw Us All in a Trench and Stuck a Mountain on Top and their style in Sisterworld has turned into a peculiar brand of noise rock. Opening track ‘Scissor’ begins like the quiet vocals of famous Icelandic post-rock band Sigur Rós before descending into overdriven guitar cacophony reminiscent of early Biffy Clyro. The band start as they mean to go on, with tracks ‘I Can Still See An Outside World’ and ‘Drop Dead’ following the same pattern of silence and noise. Although obviously an attempt to change the dynamic of the songs, it just ends up confusing and overpowering. Amidst the speaker-destroying guitar wails and offbeat synth-driven backbeats, songs like ‘Drip’ and ‘Goodnight Everything’ demonstrate how the tools of post-rock can be at their best. It seems the band did not quite know in what direction they were going with Sisterworld and that they still had no idea by the release date.

Alex Hamilton

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/music

James – Night Before James have had an on-and-off relationship with fame and success over the years. Formed in Manchester in 1981, the band has had UK chart hits in the form of songs ‘Sit Down,’ ‘Laid’ and ‘She’s a Star.’ After a hiatus in 2001, they reformed in 2007 to resume recording and undergo international tours. Night Before shows the band’s classic roots in alternative Brit pop.

At only seven songs the album is not large, but it boasts a quality not often found in small releases. Songs ‘Crazy’ and ‘Shine’ hark back to the band’s 90s brand of Brit rock but still work surprisingly well, while ‘Dr Hellier’ and ‘It’s Hot’ are just as good as any song of the established indie genre today. With their somewhat unfortunate reputation for launching other bands into the big-time (having been supported by Radiohead, Nirvana, Coldplay and Stereophonics to name a few), James must be looking to give themselves a voice in the new decade. Night Before could do just that.

Alex Hamilton

The Features – Some Kind of Salvation Their kinship with record-label pals Kings of Leon is not the only reason you should check out The Features and their new album, Some Kind of Salvation. Remaining relatively unknown and certainly underappreciated in their twelve long years on the music scene, The Features really up the ante with this new album. It plays smoothly and is a well-constructed, more honed version of previous album, Exhibit A. It is the perfect variety of toe-tappers such as ‘Lions’ and ‘Whatever Gets You By’, along with easy listening track ‘Baby’s Hammer’. The songs are catchy, rhythmic and a little bit jazzy at times – see ‘The Drawing Board’ – whilst still capturing that raw edge that has become such a familiar Southern States sound. It is definitely more of a refined, pop sound than Kings of Leon, but don’t let that put you off; it’s a good refined, pop sound. This album could mean great things for The Features; it really could be Some Kind of Salvation for them.

Kate McFarlane

Also look out for LCD Sound system - This is Happening Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma The Drums - The Drums For more reviews go to impactnottingham.com/music

Impact recommends… Yeasayer Austin Booth

N

ew York has always boasted a vibrant music scene, with bands such as The Strokes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Interpol, Le Tigre and MGMT all hailing from the Big Apple. Add to that impressive list one of the latest bands to come over the ‘little pond’ to good ol’ blighty – Yeasayer.

Formed in 2006, Yeasayer first arrived on the scene when they appeared at the South by South West festival. Describing their sound as “Middle Eastern-psychpop-snap-gospel” (make of that what you will), the quartet released their first album All Hour Cymbals in 2007, followed by Odd Blood in 2010.

So why should Yeasayer be your new favourite band? Two reasons: firstly, because they write damn good songs with lots of different sounds layered on top of each other, and secondly because they’re not like other bands. It’s hard to pigeon-hole Yeasayer’s sound and with all the different influences Yeasayer draw inspiration from, it’s even harder to define what their particular sound actually is.

Listening to both of their albums, it’s obvious that Yeasayer’s sound has evolved over time. All Hour Cymbals

melds multi-part harmonies and “pan-ethnic spiritualism” with subtle synthesizer sounds and effects. Odd Blood still takes these influences, but has a more poppy, electronic feel about it. In fact, the synth electronic sounds have become so much pronounced that in a recent NME interview the band were quoted as saying “our songs are so complex we wish we were machines to play them live”. Vocalist Chris Keating described their debut album as “a globalisation album – sounding like artefacts of different times and cultures thrown together”. Talking about Odd Blood, Keating decribed it as “pushing that further into the future, with electronic drums, industrial percussion and reggaeton beats”. Perhaps that evolution in sound has got something to do with a trip to New Zealand and taking the vast amounts of LSD that the band allegedly indulged in, as reported by the LA Times nonetheless.

Yeasayer’s experimental approach certainly have gone down well, with the notoriously hard to please critics giving All Hour Cymbals and Odd Blood rave reviews. Despite that you’d be forgiven if you’ve never even heard of them for only now, with the release of the first single from Old Blood ‘O.N.E.’, are

Image by Leon Ferri

they starting to get air-play. Unusually, this doesn’t seem to be an issue for Yeasayer, with multi-instrumentalist Anand Wilder saying “I don’t wanna be that band that’s shoved down everybody’s throats…I’d rather be that weird band under the radar that writes really catchy songs.”

So if we’ve whetted your appetite for all things Yeasayer, get hold of a copy of Odd Blood. And if you fancy catching them live, they have just announced a UK tour. Need we say any more? june 2010

55

film

I Hate Glee, I am a Social Pariah

(Although, those two statements are, arguably, mutually exclusive)

Josh Franks

W

hilst it’s not strictly film as yet, since it hit our television screens in May of 2009, Glee has taken the world by storm, and there can be no uncertainty that sometime in the near future, Glee will hit the silver screen and demand an impressive cut of the year’s cinema takings. With its light-hearted image, not entirely humourless script and myriad of musical numbers, it has mass appeal.

But it is with great reluctance - and probably much to my chagrin that I must admit, after months of deliberation and despair, I hate Glee.

It had occurred to me upon this realization that I would be seriously outnumbered, so before I begin a tirade of unadulterated ‘Gleebashing’ please note that I am by no means condemning those of you who consider yourself to be ‘Gleeks’.

It goes without saying, that this is entirely a matter of preference and opinion, but I completely understand if you wish to hold this against me.

The main issue I have with Glee is that it is a formula that completely lacks originality; almost every aspect of it seems derivative of something else. On the surface, it is a sitcom set in an American high school, detailing the day-to-day lives of the various students, teachers and parents within their social circles (each labelled by some form of stereotype). This isn’t an original premise, over the last 30 years, there have been countless examples of films and TV shows doing this very same thing.

56

In recent memory, though, Glee owes everything to the unstoppable marketing juggernaut that is Disney’s High School Musical. Grossing a total of $253m worldwide, the series is hard to ignore. It took the above premise and combined it with Disney’s familiar musical stylings, thus paving the way for Glee to Issue 204

do something similar. However, instead of using songs composed specifically for the show, the cast of Glee subjects us to weekly renditions* of some of the most famous and celebrated songs to have ever been released. Furthermore, the creators have the audacity to release these cover versions commercially as singles. In particular, Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believin’, which has managed to maintain enduring popularity 28 years after its release - is a song that evidently did not require a cover version to boost its success.

That’s not to say that the cast does not boast some talented vocalists.

Matthew Morrison, Lea Michele, Chris Colfer are all decent singers in their own right, but the show has already been heavily criticised for its “overproduced” soundtrack, and its heavy reliance on ‘Auto-Tune’.

Perhaps, for me at least, Glee’s greatest transgression is that of the character Sue Sylvester.

Admirably played by Jane Lynch, Sue is the ruthless coach of the Cheerleading team who will stop at nothing to destroy the Glee club.

In every episode, Sue will make some scathing remark or rant at Will Schuester, the show’s protagonist, and will generally make efforts to lower the morale of the members of the Glee club. Sue is a great antagonist, but I cannot help but think she is merely a re-hashing of the more evil parts of Scrubs superb Dr. Cox, just in a different environment.

But that is exactly what Glee is - a rehash. In its premise, characterisation and execution, Glee is superficial and uninspired. I can only hope it doesn’t make it past season two and god forbid, to the big screen. *Please feel free to substitute this with ‘butcherings’.

Toy Story

Lucy Kenderdine

I

f you’re anything like me, the news of a third Toy Story film will have caused the little child inside you to jump for joy, race around the room and try to locate the first two films for a good session of childish fun. And if you did do this, you may have noticed how many adult friendly jokes there happened to be hidden within the plot. I’m particularly thinking of the moment Mr. Potato Head emerges with the features of his face in disarray and exclaiming ‘Hey look, I’m Picasso!’ Or even the moment Buzz reveals to the toys his laser, prompting others to believe Woody has ‘laser envy’.

The fact that we now notice these jokes only serves to remind us that we’re not children anymore and, as it turns out in the third film, Andy isn’t either; he has aged around the same amount that we have, with him now heading off to college and donating Woody, Buzz and the rest of the gang to a local day care centre. The film follows the toys attempting to be reunited with Andy at any cost. So what does this mean to the way the film will be structured and presented? Will it appeal to the original generation that it was intended for i.e. our age bracket and thus continue to include references to keep us entertained? Or will it set off to capture a new generation of hearts with bright colours, new characters and 3D effects?

I hope it appeals to both. What made the original Toy Story such a huge hit was not merely the advanced graphics Pixar created; it was the heartfelt storyline backed up by a superb script that both children and adults could enjoy. From what I’ve read about the new film, the third instalment is much the same. Plus, from the plot, it would seem like it is trying to tell us not to forget about our childhood humour; maybe enjoying a further continuation of a film we adored is just the way to not grow up quite yet.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/film

Will Kathryn Bigelow Change the Future for Women in Hollywood?

Isabelle Parkin

I

considered opening this article with the phrase ‘I’m not a feminist, but...’, anxious to make clear that looking at the status of women in Hollywood doesn’t have to involve condemnation of it’s men. But what appears to have provoked my defensiveness actually shows up some of the most notorious problems in the film industry – the fact that because there aren’t very many of them, women are still defined by the fact that they are women, rather than filmmakers. They

the massive gender imbalance in the film industry. The novelty element of the win caused some critics to judge Bigelow solely as a woman, rather than a filmmaker who happens to be a woman: many focused on The Hurt Locker being an action movie, deeming it to essentially be a ‘man’s film’. Such attitudes only cement the idea of film being gender-specific, undermining any progress her win may have hinted at.

It appears that the road to equality is going to be a long one.

Less than 30 percent of all roles in Hollywood are going to women, the gender imbalance frequently reflected in Oscar nominations comprised only 7 percent of all directors working on the top 250 films of 2009, and in February of this year, one of them, Kathryn Bigelow, became the first woman to win an Oscar for directing.

Prior to this, only three others had ever been nominated in the category. Whilst this is evidently an historic moment, the question that emerges is whether it will really make any difference for women in Hollywood.

The fact that it has taken 82 years for such an event to occur emphasises

Such divisions are also embedded in the acting world. Less than 30 percent of all roles in Hollywood are going to women, the gender imbalance frequently reflected in Oscar nominations. Take the Best Supporting Actor category: annually, almost as a rule, there is one standout nominee, and four others who are - for all intents and purposes - gap fillers. This year, it was Christoph Waltz in Inglorious Basterds. Previously, it’s been Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight and Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men. This is because all the best

roles for men are filling up the Leading Actor category - and awareness of the discrepancy is high. Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep have spoken out about the dearth of good roles for women. In the overhaul of the James Bond franchise for Casino Royale, producers knew what had to be changed: they produced arguably one of the best ‘Bond Girls’ in its history, one who, with far more to do than frolic in the sea and exchange innuendoes with Bond for once, was far too interesting to be bound to the archaic label.

Women and film media is similarly problematic – Empire magazine has only featured one woman on its cover in the past four years, and in filling out a readership survey for the magazine, when asked to tick other publications I read, I was only given a choice of men’s magazines. This tailoring of film to a male demographic is embedded in marketing strategy and is not going to go away easily. Whilst moves are being made within the industry, it’s unlikely things will change fast as a result of Bigelow’s win. However, what it has done is draw attention to how women in Hollywood are viewed. There may well be a more balanced future in sight – and although it’s not near, this may well be the first step.

JUNE 2010

57

many films that try so hard to impress with their character development, plot or ‘message’ that it takes a Wikipedia entry to inform me as to who the characters were and why I should care.

More importantly, however, Michael Bay’s films are successful because they absolutely nail the escapist genre. Anybody can do explosions granted, Michael Bay’s are often quite spectacular and big budget - but fans of Bay’s films don’t watch them because of pyrotechnics. They watch these films because they represent a wondrous excursion from the mundanity of our everyday lives. We aspire to be - and place ourselves in the shoes of - the heroes from these films, whether they are geeky biochemists in San Francisco, two feuding cops in glamorous Miami, or a team of blue-collar oil drillers going into space to save the world. On the set, Bay himself puts it this way: “So many aspects of it seemed silly, but there is so much wish fulfilment to it, the idea of having a giant robot hiding out in your backyard.”

A Vindication of the Rights of Michael Bay Dave Jackson

F

undamentally, Michael Bay does not need defending. If I name one of his projects, odds are you will have heard of it. From Armageddon to Transformers, or from his legendary Milk-related adverts to the music video for Meat Loaf’s ‘I’d Do Anything for Love’, Bay’s work is ubiquitous.

This ubiquity does little more than arouse the ire of your average film critic, though. The Times’ review of Transformers, for example, was derisive of Bay’s “braindead machismo”, and argued “Films directed by Michael Bay are usually like being shouted at by a halfwit for two and a half hours.” This time last year Impact weighed in on the issue, with one writer alleging that “It’s films like Bay’s (whose style is worryingly spreading) that undermine the integrity of film as an art form.”

Michael Bay’s response, like his films, is refreshingly simple: “People always try

58

Issue 204

to knock someone who’s had a ton of success in movies. Whatever.”

It is a mistake to try and defend his films by arguing that they are merely simple, fun and action-packed. These are undoubted truths - we’re not trying to watch Requiem for a Dream here - but such positives are always imbued with a sense of patronisation. Fans of Bay don’t just sit and watch with mouths agape in awe at the big explosions - to make this assumption is fallacious, and you’ll hear it a fair bit even from Bay’s apologists.

For a start, let’s not turn our noses up at the ease with which Bay places us in the setting of a film - think back to, say, Bad Boys. From the start of the film, it takes approximately two minutes and 52 seconds (feel free to check) to work out the setting, who the two main characters are, their mutual antagonism and their occupations. I’ve seen too

Why is the famous ‘shower scene’ in The Rock so emotionally charged, and why does Armageddon’s presidential speech (if you’ve seen the film, you know it) make the hairs on your neck tingle, in contravention of every cynical thought your head is throwing around? It isn’t simply because the music is telling us to feel this way, or because of explosions and gunfire. It is because deep down, in places we don’t talk about at parties, we want to ‘be’ these people: something primal, something instinctive, which our rational minds have long learned to suppress, is making us wish we were there. A Bay film is like Jane Austen’s Persuasion - try to read too much into it and you’ll spend more time moaning about the plot than appreciating its simple, romantic beauty.

One thing I can agree with the critics on is that Bay does not appeal to our heads when he makes movies. But then it was Napoleon who said that in order to electrify a man, it is his soul you must converse with. In the veritable symphonies of the action that Bay constructs, do we need to disengage our brains to understand exactly what Bay is getting at? Maybe we do. But what Bay does is create fantastic worlds in which tales of absolute heroism and villainy exist, and what’s more, he tells us that for a few hours - we can go there.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/film

Polished Cinema Martin Gowans

A

sk most people what they know about Polish cinema and you are likely to hear only one name: Roman Polański. Yet, Polish film has a rich heritage and two directors in particular are well worth exploring.

Andrzej Wajda burst onto the scene and broke the dour socialist realism mould in 1954 with Generation, a gritty story of an apathetic young man who came to join the resistance in wartime Poland. Wajda pushed the limits of censorship, and as he matured as a filmmaker, his work moved further from socrealism to challenge taboo subjects in society – in particular the role of the Home Army, which was viewed by the Communist leadership in both Poland and the USSR as a hostile and reactionary force. Indeed, when in 1958 Wajda made Ashes and Diamonds, honouring the role of Home Army leaders, whilst the purging of Home Army leaders was still ongoing.

In the late 1970s, Wajda, along with Krzysztof Kieślowski and Agnieszka Holland developed a loose movement dealing with moral concerns in contemporary Polish life. In particular, Man of Marble attacks Stalinism and its remnants. Man of Iron, which was a sequel of sorts and was made during the 1980 Solidarity thaw of reduced censorship, examines the role of the growing opposition and included real-life footage from the 1980 Gdańsk shipyard strikes.

There was one subject, which Wajda could not tackle until after Communism: Katyń. Wajda is the son of a murdered officer from the massacre and explores both the massacre and the USSR’s post-war denial. Wajda directly challenged Russia, who were retreating back into denial on the subject.

Kieślowski first came to prominence in the cinema of moral concern movement and his work around this time was highly political, often incurring the wrath of the censors. Towards the end of communism, Kieślowski made his Decalogue series: ten one hour movies each based on one of the ten commandments. His later, more international work, moves away from politics to engage with human emotion in two works in particular: The Double Life of Véronique and The Three Colours Trilogy.

So next time you’re casually browsing the Polish section in the DVD shop, give The Pianist a miss for the time being and take a chance on Kieślowski, Wajda and Holland.

Three Years: A Retrospective

Jack Jones

A

s the last few weeks of university come to pass, it occurs to me that there are many things I have wanted to discuss when it comes to my experiences with film in the last three years. Just as most people will say that their time at university has seemingly passed far too quickly, alas, I also have run out of time. Upon reflection, the past few years have provided a plethora of great films and cinematic moments that we should remember with great fondness when we look back at our time in Nottingham.

Of course the last three years have been a great success for the British film contingent. The Academy Award success of Slumdog Millionaire is one the most noticeable examples, but the return of directors such as Ken Loach with Looking For Eric, as well as the continuing success of young actors such as Carey Mulligan in An Education and Nicholas Hoult in A Single Man, further proves that Britain’s contribution to film remains among some of the most revered and respected in global cinema.

We can also look back to recordbreaking sensations such as The Dark Knight in the summer of 2008, a quasi art house blockbuster that was both hugely popular with the public and the critics. While Heath Ledger’s untimely death will forever be associated with the second instalment of the rejuvenated Batman franchise, the film should quite rightly be remembered for the acting of a truly unique talent.

Returning franchises, actors and directors have dominated the film

headlines over the last three years with the likes of James Cameron and Robert Downey Jr. returning to the heights of their powers – although Zodiac proved Downey Jr. still had genuine acting potential prior to Iron Man. No one could forget however, the comeback of comebacks by fellow former Hollywood hell-raiser and current co-star in Iron Man 2, Mickey Rourke. A more humble Rourke would turn in a stunning ‘close to home’ performance in The Wrestler that was only bettered by good friend Sean Penn in Milk at the Oscars.

I suppose the past few years will mostly be remembered for the rise of 3D films, yet I would urge you to seek out some of the films that, I believe, have made the last three years so memorable. Choke, one of several zany and offbeat adaptations, which provided one of the most stirring cinematic moments in living memory. Waltz with Bashir and Where The Wild Things Are contained some of the most stunning animated visuals of recent times, but perhaps the two filmmakers that have best served the last three years have been Joel and Ethan Coen. No Country for Old Men, Burn After Reading and A Serious Man provided a spectrum of emotions from enthralling tension, to shock laughs and mild bemusement, making the Coen’s the standout filmmakers of my time at university.

So, as many of us are coming to the end of our stay in Nottingham, I must say it’s been a pleasure to be a fellow companion and for those that still have time remaining, treasure it, as it doesn’t last forever.

JUNE 2010

59

SCIENCE

Farmville: Are We Addicted?

Katie Mackay

T

here’s a new hybrid of online gamer. They live on Facebook, flooding our news feeds with updates and friend requests. You might know one. They’re called ‘The Farmvillers,’ and there are 75 million of them. Concern is growing over whether social games like these pose an addiction risk.

Facebook gaming is a guilty pleasure; choosing to spend an evening ‘harvesting crops’ over going out with friends is something that many wouldn’t admit to. Being a self-confessed Facebook gamer, I can understand the appeal of spending hours in a virtual world. So why are some experts considering social network gaming risky?

60

Issue 204

Perhaps it’s the element of isolation.

When we play on a console, we’re often in the presence of friends, whereas when we play online, we’re physically alone. Concerns are also stemming from the rapid increase in the number of gaming hours that users are clocking up. According to AllFacebook.com, out of the 200 million Facebook users who log in every month, 15% are playing ‘Farmville.’ When you break it down, that’s an average of 285,714 per day, 11,904 per hour and 198 per minute.

Why are people playing so much?

Going for the high score is stimulating.

Rewards such as free gifts and bonuses positively reinforce gaming behaviours, increasing the chances of them being repeated. Social gaming allows users to do things that they couldn’t (or couldn’t

be bothered) to do in reality. With only a laptop and Internet access you can play with friends instantly.

It’s presumptuous to say we are addicted to social gaming. Playing regularly doesn’t make you an addict, although health experts have said that using Facebook for over an hour is symptomatic of addiction. While game developers are giving us more reasons to log in, we’ll still be actively making a choice to click the buttons and enter the virtual world. Why we play has nothing to do with anything created by a team of visual artists; they don’t force us.

The only conclusion I can make is that games fill a void. Whether this has a positive or a negative effect depends on the user.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/SCIENCE

The Debate Continues…

Katherine Smith

The Great Science Ed. Debate...

Francis Roe

B

ritain is a major player in scientific research. We have less than 1% of the world’s population, but 12% of scientific citations come from us. Yet with fewer people studying sciences in comparison to other countries, and critics constantly pointing out flaws in the science education our children receive, this may be under threat.

I have here outlined the changes in approach that I feel are necessary in order to retain our relevance on the world stage of scientific research.

read. BBC iPlayer showcases many fine science programs; watching David Attenborough in class would be far more engaging then a boring revision guide. But the main focus should be on practical work – it is more obviously ‘fun’ than written work, more memorable, helps students learn kinaesthetically, and emphasises the notion that science is a practical subject, not an exercise in learning bullet points from a whiteboard.

Initially, focus needs to be placed upon getting children to take an interest in science from an early age. In primary schools, it is more important to develop a child’s interest in the subject than to stick to a rigid curriculum; it’s pointless to teach a syllabus if the class are falling asleep. Personally I don’t think it should be difficult as kids have a natural curiosity about the world we live in. Teachers are fully capable of tapping into this curiosity and explaining how science can answer our questions, but only if we let them.

This is the most important step: students must be given the freedom to discover things for themselves, and GCSE and A-level science syllabuses need to be broader. It is no good redesigning a curriculum for GCSE and A-level if there is no one interested enough to be there to learn it. When doing my Chemistry A-level, I used a textbook from the late 1980s. In its forward it recommended to teachers that certain chapters be self-taught by the student, so that they had enough time to cover harder sections. In our world of continuous testing and judgement, few teachers feel confident using this method today.

There are plenty of good science books out there – giving pupils time in lessons to read them and then encouraging them to continue them at home is a good idea. For younger pupils the Horrible Science series is highly recommended. For older students, Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything basically summarises GCSE science (plus more) in an enjoyable

The exams themselves should be set in such a way that students who read around the topics (not limiting themselves to remembering a syllabus) have the opportunity to demonstrate that they have acquired knowledge on their own accord. These are the students that deserve the top grades, not those who memorise past mark schemes.

2

010 has been turbulent; Britain has suffered an economic downturn with huge job losses, been grounded by volcanic ash, and witnessed the first hung parliament since the 70s. An historic coalition has now formed between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, but what impact will this fledgling coalition government have on academia and scientific research across the UK? According to The Guardian, Lord Browne’s report – a cross-party review into higher education funding – the effect could be dramatic. While the full report will not be released until later this year, current proposals include removal of any cap on undergraduate yearly fees, with a predicted rise in tuition fees of around £1000 per year, piling on the debt for thousands of students.

Additionally, the report may suggest that course fees should reflect their real cost relative to each other, meaning that science-related degrees (with a higher practical course content), as well as medicine, will become much more expensive.

If Lord Browne’s recommendations are followed, then Nottingham, as one of the country’s designated science cities, could face future long-term problems in attracting students into science – students who may choose courses based on affordability rather than content.

Not everyone thinks such choices are necessarily bad. The Russell Group (which represents a core group of 20 of the UK’s leading universities, including the University of Nottingham) believes that the rise in fees is essential in order for the UK to remain world-class leaders in research and teaching. Until the full release of the report and its resulting fallout, which could be lengthy taking into account the Liberal Democrats’ policy to gradually phase out student fees, the future of scientific study in the UK as we know it remains uncertain. june 2010

61

Gratis

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

Mad But True LUCY HAYES

Issue 204 Contributors Emily Sargent, Daniel Gadher, Ben McCabe, Jamie Stanley, Tommy Reynolds, Catherine Elms, Gabriella DeMatteis, Simon Lister, Fergus Flanagan, Ben Waite, Ruth Edwards, Shara Hikmet, Martin Gowans, Giselle Kennedy, Victoria Urquhart, Michael De Vletter, Cesar Teixeira, Adam Dawes, Gaby Dumont, Stephen Wythe, Jonathan Mackie, Max Sutcliffe, Daisy Mash, Rosie Kynman, Patrick Coussens, Ben Pound, Matthew Lambert, Thomas Jenkins, Katherine Rutherford, Alex Hamilton, Kate McFarlane, Austin Booth, Josh Franks, Lucy Kenderdine, Isabelle Parkin, Philip Bowyer, Francis Roe, Katie Mackay and Katherine Smith.

Images & design Bruno Albutt, Tara Wallce, Leon Jacob, Matt Turner, Simon Boardman, Sam Lustig and Benjamin Oliver Hicks.

Cover image Photography: Matt Turner Model: Stefan Dasanjh Photography Assistant: Charlotte Raynor

THANKS To all Impact 09/10 Editors, we will be thinking of you To all our readers for thinking of us

Apologies None, so there

Contact The best way to contact us is via email, on magazine@impactnottingham.com Failing that, you can find us using whichever of the following details takes your fancy: Impact Magazine, Portland Building, University Park, University of Nottingham, Nottingham, NG7 2RD Tel: 0115 8468716 Email: chief@impactnottingham.com editor@impactnottingham.com

managinged@impactnottingham.com

features@impactnottingham.com design@impactnottingham.com images@impactnottingham.com news@impactnottingham.com sports@impactnottingham.com style@impactnottingham.com arts@impactnottingham.com travel@impactnottingham.com nights@impactnottingham.com music@impactnottingham.com science@impactnottingham.com film@impactnottingham.com

Our office is on the top floor of Portland, room D9, signposted from entrance.

W

e will all, from time to time, have terrible foot-in-mouth moments, from accidentally divulging secrets to swearing in job interviews. But in this month’s crop of weird news, there are many unfortunates - such as 35-year old high school teacher Fernando Gonzalez - who have not just metaphorically shot themselves in the foot, but probably in both feet and the metaphorical kneecaps as well.

Mr. Gonzalez was caught watching child porn in a classroom of his Texas school.

The best excuse he could muster was that he had no choice, as his wife had banned him from watching it at home (31st March, Houston Press).

His optimism in the forgivingness of others is perhaps even overshadowed by Mary Merten, 43, who wrote to her former employers, “I would ask that you consider keeping me employed... I truly enjoy my job and want to continue to work for the both of you to make up for my imperfections.”

Perhaps an adequate action had she been found pilfering pens or loudly bitching about co-workers. However, at the time she wrote the letter, she was awaiting trial for embezzling over $800,000 from the small law firm she worked for (Times Herald, 5th May).

She later pleaded guilty and, as far as I’m aware, her request to continue working for the firm was ignored.

62

Issue 204

Senior Iranian cleric Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi seems to be having more luck with ‘God’s will’. Despite dubious seismological grounds, he proclaimed that recent earthquakes in Haiti, Chile, and elsewhere were caused by women’s promiscuity and immodest dress.

A Facebook petition gathered a response from around 90,000 women who promised to tart it up on April 26th in order to create ‘boobquake’ and test the Ayatollah’s theory.

The day came; cleavage was flaunted across the globe; and an earthquake measuring 6.5 on the Richter scale hit just south of Taiwan (Associated Press, 28th April). Misogynists: 1, Boobs: Nil.

Win – the ultimate in flipflop finery!

W

hile flip-flops are staple beach footwear for most of us, Patongs claim to have taken it to the next level. Named after the most hedonistic destination in Thailand, Patong Beach, these flip flops are made from a rubber compound which is designed to flex with your foot and mould between your toes so there’s no rubbing, and no pounding the pavement with every step. They’re essentially all you’ll need for the summer, perfect for festivals, holidays or just chilling in the sun! They have a huge range of colours and styles that can be seen at www.patongs.com. To get your hands on a pair in the colour, style and (obviously) size of your choice, simply answer this simple question.

Which proposed headliner of Glastonbury recently cancelled their involvement in the festival? a) b) c)

Stevie Wonder Muse U2

QUOTABILITY “I’m embarrassed that I have a small penis.”

Published by The University of Nottingham Students’ Union, apparently.

As ever, plenty of people are willing to blame God’s will for their own misdemeanours; thankfully police did not accept that 58-yearold James Fall’s self-proclaimed status as a “prophet of God” justified his ‘marriage’ to his 10-year-old niece (Star Tribune, Minnesota, 14th March). Adam Disabato stretched the excuses even further, claiming he was the Messiah after driving his car into a synagogue, causing thousands of pounds worth of damage. He compellingly explained, “I’m not crazy, and I don’t hear voices. I just got a feeling sent by God to drive real fast for some reason” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 29th April).

“Is the gazebo waterproof?”

“Why do Information Services want our office? They were jealous of our dart board”

“Are see-through gazebos waterproof?”

“My rectal function is perfectly normal this month”

“How did Mao cope with all of this?”

“Actually. F**k it. I’m opening up Finder”

famous last words game of ‘Bogies’. Do you ever get it shouted at you in the street?

DICK Everywhere we go! Absolutely everywhere, still. Shouts of it follow us around. From a lot of van drivers mainly.

dick and dom

GABBY DEMATTEIS

D

ick and Dom first burst onto our screens in a giant splatter of gunge back in 2002, rising to fame and irreverent notoriety on the CBBC Saturday morning show Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow. Since then they’ve moved into the wider world of entertainment with a year-long stint on Radio 1’s Breakfast Show and a slot hosting Sky 1’s Are You Smarter Than a 10-year-old?, nabbing two BAFTAs along the way for their efforts. Impact caught up with the duo mid-London Marathon preparation for a chat about milk, trophy polishing and Sonia from Eastenders.

So, standard first question: where did the two of you meet? And did you ever think you’d stick together as a double act for so long?

DICK We were both at the BBC. I started as a runner, making tea for kids TV presenters, and then I auditioned when one of them left. Dom was doing magic work, and they put us together and it all went from there. We were the same age and good mates. We didn’t go to uni or anything but we shared a flat for 5 years, so yeah, we knew we worked well together.

Who wears the trousers in this relationship?

DOM We both wear trousers. Nice, long, skinny, tight ones.

Good to know. What’s the biggest falling out you two have ever had?

DICK Yes we have one each. Mine’s on my sideboard.

Understandable. Do you spend a lot of time with each other when you’re not working? We’d like to believe that you live together in a bungalow in real life as well as in our imaginations.

DOM No we don’t live in a bungalow!

Bungalows are for old people. But we are very good friends, and we are together a lot... we’re together now!

We went for a run down the Thames together just yesterday actually.

DOM Mine’s in a cupboard right now. It needs a polish actually… needs a spot of Brasso! You’ll have to come up and polish our trophies sometime.

Let’s not get carried away Dominic. The two of you hosted the Sunday Breakfast Show on Radio 1 back in 2008; what’s your ultimate waking up song?

DICK Something by Sonia…

DOM Sonia?

Speaking of running, you’re both taking part in the London Marathon in 4 days. Who’s going to win?

DICK Yeah Sonia… Sonia from Eastenders! I love anything she sings.

DICK We’ve done SO much training…

Dom probably will win because he runs faster than me. But it’s not really a race.

DOM I’ll say anything by Kasabian… they’re very soothing. Or maybe some really loud dubstep, or some drum and bass. Hardcore.

DOM Well it is a race…

DICK It’s a race, but we’re not racing each other – we’re running together.

Helping each other along.

Word on the street is that you’re scared of racing alongside Ben Shephard.

DOM He terrifies us in many ways. He is very quick and will probably speed past us... leave us in his dust. The man jogged up Kilimanjaro for God’s sake.

He’s very good.

BOTH MILK.

Having run the Sport Relief Mile in Nottingham last month, what do you think of the city and/or its surrounding area?

DICK He used my milk, and I had no milk for my tea. I needed the milk, I get grumpy if I have no tea and he used my milk.

DICK Lovely! I’m actually from Sheffield so I used to come down a lot, I always liked it. We ran by the river which was very nice. Aesthetically pleasing.

DOM Also when we were both skint, and he wanted the heating on and I said wear a big jumper instead. I recommend big jumpers.

DOM TRAMS.

DICK I get in a bad mood without heating and tea.

In Da Bungalow won two BAFTAs in 2004 for Best Presenters and Best Children’s Entertainment. Do you have one each?

DICK Yeah the trams too, lovely… We came to the City ground on a day out recently, they played Swansea.

You brought the world the illustrious

Do you think you’ll do more radio in the future?

DICK Yeah it’s nice, maybe something a bit different though. Maybe we’ll come to Nottingham and do your student radio.

DOM Actually there’s a station based in the South East called Absolute that’s gone down a more comedy sort of route… they’ve got people like Dave Gorman and Frank Skinner. Something like that would be good.

As a feature in a student magazine, many reading this interview will be connoisseurs of both daytime television and BBC iPlayer. Tell us why they should watch your current show ‘The Legend of Dick and Dom’.

DICK It’s funny. No, erm, it’s not just aimed to appeal to kids, more all age groups… anyone of any age! It’s narrated by Terry Jones, one of the Python guys… and it’s got lots of celebrities. Like Brian Blessed. Yeah.

The Legend of Dick and Dom can be seen every day on BBC2 at 8:00am.

JUNE 2010

63