Impact Magazine Issue 225

STUDENT PUBLICATION OF THE YEAR 2012

WWW.IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

ISSUE 225 SEPTEMBER 2013

HOW MUCH ISYOUR COURSE REALLY COSTING YOU? WE REVEAL HIDDEN COSTS OF UP TO £10,000

CYBER BOOBS: AN ESSENTIAL PART OF THE UNI EXPERIENCE?

“HE BECAME MICHAEL JACKSON, HEWASN’T BORNTHATWAY” MICHAEL JACKSON’S BODYGUARD REVEALS ALL

NOTTINGHAM UNCUT NOTT YOUR AVERAGE CITY GUIDE

Editorial Ahoy. Welcome to the Impact ship of love. Our website is updated by every section, every

You might find yourself overwhelmed by the amount of flyers, takeaway menus and forgettable names and faces you encounter in freshers week.

But TAKEAWAYS SHMAKEWAYS. In this issue we cover the best of Nottingham; everything from the best places to eat on campus, to the best nights out, gig venues and student apps. Our Features team also investigate hidden course costs, and our Comment team debate whether or not the Students’ Union shop should sell publications featuring Page 3 models.

day. We also have sections and content on our website that you won’t find in the magazine, such as our News section, whose team report on campus affairs, Nottingham stories and student issues throughout the year. Over the summer, our News team has already written about NUS campaigns, demonstrations in the city and the UoN’s position in lobbying the government on student loans. See our website for more and look out for the brand spanking new website coming soon.

If you’re interested in doing some writing yourself and making your own impact (eh eh), come along to our Freshers’ week events to meet this year’s editorial team. Also get involved by dropping into our week of workshops running from the 7th There are loads of other boobs and nakedness to October, or sign up for our Media Conference in be found in this issue (naughty), both in our Travel, November.

Features section and a dirty little Arts number on Mills and Boon. Or check out our Style shoot for a To keep in touch and up to date with what we’re more classy take on sexy. doing, follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Or send us an owl. Our office is in Portland C40.

However our magazine gives you only a fraction of the content we produce. Almost doubling the record set the year before, last year we had over 165,000 hits on our website, impactnottingham. com. JOIN THEM. IT’S A REVOLUTION.

Last year’s team... will we see you here this year?

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Antonia Paget and Emily Tripp Editors-in-Chief

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CONTENTS FEATURES Editorial 2 Comment 4

Best of Nottingham

REGULARS 6

A student’s guide to student life

Hidden Course Costs

10

Find out how much your course really costs

Impact Interviews Michael Jackson’s Bodyguard

Impact’s Bucket List

15

Can you do them all?

12

Will the University Block Porn in 14 Halls?

We Know What You Did Last 17 Summer

Travel Science Food Exposure What’s On Style Gaming Film Music Arts Sport

18 20 22 25 26 30 34 38 42 46 50 IMPACT 225

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COMMENT

SHOULD THE SU SHOP BAN NEWSPAPERS WITH PAGE 3?

No Banning newspapers with Page 3 from the SU shop will do very little to erode a global culture of sexism. Compared to the billion dollar porn industry, for example, the University of Nottingham SU shop is hardly a mover and shaker. If students can’t get their kicks from Page 3, they can get them from the thousands of porn websites online, which, by the way, I’m sure the University could ban from halls of residence if they wanted to. In short, 3DJH LV D GURS LQ WKH RFHDQ. I understand the pro-ban argument to be one of principle. Nottingham University does not want to be seen advocating TFYJTN BOE PCKFDUJmDBUJPO 'BJS FOPVHI But if this is the case, KRZ FDQ WKH\

Yes Often the media industry’s damaging impact on women seems inevitable, yet tolerable. With the rise of super skinny supermodels and an obsessive celebrity culture, the number of people with eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder and UIPTF TFFLJOH RVJDL mY QMBTUJD TVSHFSZ have sky-rocketed. Yet the statistics no longer shock us. It’s as though the

PHGLDҋV REMHFWLÀFDWLRQ RI ZRPHQ and the social pressure this often creates has become old news, tomorrow’s chip paper, an accepted bi-product of this day and age. Page 3 is a crucial part of this harmful culture, and therefore categorically does not belong in our SU shop; banning it constitutes a vital step in our bid to defy the portrayal of women as purely sexual objects.

SHUPLW VFDQWLO\ FODG JLUOV WR SURPRWH QLJKWV RXW at Freshers’ Fair, allow sports Moreover, the ‘No More Page 3 at UoN’ teams to publish naked calendars, sell copies of Men’s Health and Vogue and permit Abercrombie and Fitch to feature at a recruitment fair? The list goes on.

We do indeed live in a society where girls face considerable pressure to look a certain way, and often face a barrage of sexist comments from men who have grown up in a culture where women have been sexualised. But Page 3 is merely a symptom of an endemic. The SU shop sells magazines which no doubt also display similarly provocative images of women.

On a similar line, should the SU shop stop selling discounted alcoholic drinks and cigarettes? Or unhealthy Rustler burgers?

Are these products not more dangerous to society than an innocuous institution like Page 3? Perhaps we could apply the same philosophy to Page 3 as we do to the aforementioned products: ҊLI \RX GRQҋW OLNH LW GRQҋW EX\ LW’. This freedom of choice is a hallmark of a liberal society, and something which moralisers have no right to take away.

Rob Moher 4

IMPACT 225

group told Impact, “The SU shop has added reason to not stock such sexist and harmful content�. They argue that the Students’ Union has written declaration of an obligation towards women.

While the SU shop continues to stock these papers, the shop “undermines women by perpetuating the sexual PCKFDUJmDBUJPO BOE QDUURZ

JHQGHU UHSUHVHQWDWLRQ RI ZRPHQ at the University of Nottingham�.

Although the group have been campaigning to get Page 3 out of the SU shop, they have faced “bureaucratic hurdles� given the democratic

changes in the SU this past year. However they are backed by members of both the LGBT and the Women’s Network, and are DPOmEFOU PG UIF TVDDFTT PG UIFJS DBNQBJHO this coming year. With so much support GSPN B TJHOJmDBOU OVNCFS PG UIF TUVEFOU population, it doesn’t make sense to continue stocking the SU shop with this harmful content.

As they say, sex sells; however, in a time of legal gender equality and with females increasingly outnumbering males at many UK universities, why do the media

VWLOO ÀQG LW HDVLHU WR WUHDW ZRPHQ as bodies rather than somebodies? By continuing to sell Page 3, our University, a place of alleged equal opportunities where diversity is embraced, is jeopardising the self-worth of half of the student body for the entertainment of the other half.

Charlotte Taylor

HOME IS WHERE THE PARENTS ARE? The subject of housing after University might not illicit much interest in the average student compared to more noticeable concerns such as student loans. Yet you may have to add it to your list of worries. Back in ye olden days of the 1980s a low to mid-earning family DPVME TBWF GPS UIFJS mSTU IPVTF XJUIJO UISFF years. Now? The Resolution think-tank has estimated that the same family would have to save for twenty two years. If food prices had risen at the same rate as housing in forty years then a chicken would cost over ÂŁ50.

It’s not a pretty picture. Many of you might shrug and gesture to the shining Bank of Mum and Dad. Indeed, the proportion

of those relying on such support among mSTU UJNF CVZFST IBT SJTFO GSPN POF UIJSE to two-thirds. For those less fortunate the future is one spent at home continually pestered by worrisome parents.

Why is this the case? Why are prices so high? Quite simply it’s a lack of supply; there aren’t enough houses in Britain to sustain the number of people looking to CVZ 'PS B UFNQPSBSZ mY XF OFFE IPNFT BU MFBTU UP TUPQ JOnBUJPO 5IFO XIZ hasn’t it been done? Well, austerity has done little to gird the loins of developers but perhaps the central antagonists are the Nimbys; the Mr Burns’ of the housing sector. In their quest to stop development they are aided by newspapers that

sensationalise the issue. Grannies across Britain have been spilling their tea in fear of ‘Concrete Britain’.

In fact, 93% of Britain remains rural according to Policy Exchange. Just 2% of the Green Belt would give eight million IPNFT XIFSF QPPSMZ MPDBUFE CSPXOmFME sites could offer only one million. I’d really rather not cut into the Green Belt but what choice do we have? Is there another option? No, there isn’t. Students in this country get a bad deal; we don’t often vote so we’re not a threat (why do you think pensions remain as high as they do?). It’s time we looked ahead, past university, and engage with the looming issue before us.

Jamie Hodson

UNIVERSITY HALLS: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, NEVER AGAIN. I can’t help but feel rather grateful to have escaped life from University halls. It did have its advantages - meeting new people was easy and sneaking a third portion of chocolate cake was always great; but living in an institution didn’t suit me one bit.

The fact that I don’t like clubbing probably had something to do with it. When the vast majority of your block relishes the opportunity to go out every night, how much sleep you get is not really up to you. It doesn’t matter if you’re deathly ill or have an early start: if the lads outside your window want to use a bin as a bongo drum at 3am, you just have to roll with it. Hall life is perfect if you love the idea of getting lost in a mass of hedonistic students for a year, but for an introvert it can be a tad tiresome. The big lump of money you pay for accommodation does liberate you from the need to cook or clean, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. Having to queue up at a designated time for an overcooked curry can get very old. My cooking may

not be much better, but at least I can choose when I eat my plate of stodge.

Living in a house enables you to feel like B QSPQFS GVMMZ nFEHFE JOEJWJEVBM /PCPEZ manages the way you live your life – if you want to eat nothing but Jaffa Cakes or see IPX mMUIZ ZPVS SPPN DBO HFU ZPV DBO My favourite aspect of living in a student house however, is that you’ve actually chosen the people that you see on a dayto-day basis. House parties, spontaneous games of Monopoly, having cups of tea made for you – these are all things far more likely to happen when you share a space with some friends.

I’m glad I lived in halls for a year, it’s the best possible way to meet people and it helps smooth the potentially jarring process of leaving home. Still, I don’t miss it one bit. I might be living in squalor and suffer from acute malnutrition, but at least I don’t have to talk to people I don’t know.

Will Hazell

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AStudent’sGuidetoStudentLife

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It is commonly said that university is the best time of your life, and you’re probably wondering how to make the most of it. Never fear! Let past and present Nottingham students be your guide. Here are the exclusive results of our survey into their experiences:

Nights out Non-clubbing alternatives

If you’ve come to Nottingham on a promise of boozy hedonism, classy cocktails or good, cheap beer, then you’ve chosen well. The city’s nightlife is eclectic, varied and very student focused, with 44% of Nottingham students hitting the town more than once a week.

In an Impact poll earlier this year, students voted Ocean as their MH]V\YP[L VMĂ„JPHS UPNO[JS\I HUK V]LYHSS UPNO[ V\[ ^P[O [OL ]LU\L NHPUPUN over 50% of total votes. It beat other popular nights such as Crisis at Rock City on wednesdays and Coco Tang, voted best cocktail bar in the same poll.

-VY [OVZL ^OV HYLUÂť[ MHTPSPHY ^P[O 6JLHUÂťZ Z[PJR` Ă&#x2026;VVYZ and emphasis on popular (and characteristically) cheesy T\ZPJ P[ PZ [OL VMĂ&#x201E;JPHS :[\KLU[ZÂť <UPVU LUKVYZLK MYPKH` UPNO[ :[\KLU[Z JHU IL MV\UK W\SSPUN VMM [OLPY ZOPY[Z HUK whipping them around their heads to the sounds of the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Baywatchâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; theme tune.

If this sounds too â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;mainstreamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; for you, then Bodega, voted best alternate night, could be your calling, with its variety of themed club nights including Gold Teeth and Pop Confessional. Equally, if you just want a quiet pint then Ropewalk, which came out of the poll as studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; favourite pub, offers a large variety of ales, spirits and wines.

:[\KLU[Z KVUÂť[ Q\Z[ SV]L [OL JP[` MVY Z[PJR` KHUJLĂ&#x2026;VVYZ >L HZRLK 5V[[PUNOHT Z[\KLU[Z ^OH[ else there is to do in the evenings.These were some of the most popular suggestions:

Cinema

ZHPK ^H[JOPUN H Ă&#x201E;ST ^HZ VUL VM [OL ILZ[ ^H`Z [V ZWLUK HU L]LUPUN ;OL :H]V` *PULTH JHTL [VW ^OPJO PZUÂť[ surprising given itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just 20 minutes from campus and student tickets only cost ÂŁ4. A pretty good deal for cash-strapped students compared to the ÂŁ7.90 you would fork out at Cineworld.

Ice Skating

The Capital FM Arena isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just a venue frequented by the likes of One +PYLJ[PVU HUK ,K :OLLYHU VM Z[\KLU[Z [VSK \Z [OH[ [OL` HSZV \ZL [OL arena for its National Ice Centre, home of the GMB Nottingham Panthers 0JL /VJRL` ;LHT HUK H [YHPUPUN NYV\UK MVY [OL .) :WLLK :RH[PUN :X\HK For those with less experience on the ice, there are skating sessions for the public.

Comedy

12% of students told us they head out to comedy clubs in the city. Just the Tonic and The Glee comedy clubs were the favourites, with events varying from student run improvisation classes to appearances from some of Britainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favourite comedians, PUJS\KPUN )PSS )HPSL` HUK :HYHO 4PSSPJHU

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Historical Attractions The city may be famous for its connection to the legend of Robin Hood, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a lot of history to be found here that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, you know, Ă&#x201E;J[PVUHS. Despite having to endure the name :UV[[PUNOHT MVY [OL Ă&#x201E;YZ[ ML^ `LHYZ VM P[Z L_PZ[LUJL [OL JP[` OHZ ILLU OPNOS` PUĂ&#x2026;\LU[PHS PU English history. Take a peek at the most popular elements of the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s past.

Wollaton Hall

0[ÂťZ UV[ Z\YWYPZPUN [OH[ VM Z[\KLU[Z Z\Y]L`LK OH]L ]PZP[LK >VSSH[VU /HSS Âś P[ÂťZ SP[LYHSS` )H[THUÂťZ OV\ZL ;OL [O JLU[\Y` THUZPVU ^HZ \ZLK PU [OL Ă&#x201E;ST ;OL +HYR 2UPNO[ 9PZLZ HZ >H`UL 4HUVY HUK HS[OV\NO Impactâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s investigations have yet to uncover an actual Batmobile, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s well worth visiting in its own right.

Lace Market

The Lace Market isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t actually a market - itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the quarter of the city that helped make Nottingham famous in the industrial revolution. Its days as the worldwide centre of lace production are over however, and now itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a swanky district full of swish bars and restaurants.

The old architecture is what stands out though, and there are attractions such as the Galleries of Justice Museum for the more historically minded.

Ye Olde Trip To Jerusalem

The argument around which pub is Englandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest continues to rage, but one of the main contenders is the Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem that can trace its roots back to 1189AD. You may have to suffer the occasional camera wielding tourist, but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no better place for a pint of beer, a fact that 60% of the students surveyed can attest to.

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www.impactnottingham.com/features

Sex

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TwitterandFacebookPages >OPSL WLVWSL TH` OH]L [OLPY X\HSTZ HUK Z\ZWPJPVUZ HIV\[ ZVJPHS TLKPH Impact can reveal that 95% of 5V[[PUNOHT Z[\KLU[Z \ZL ;^P[[LY HUK -HJLIVVR WHNLZ [V RLLW \W ^P[O ^OH[ÂťZ NVPUN VU H[ <UP]LYZP[` Check out the essential â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;trendingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; pages and feeds in Nottingham.

1. Heard in Hallward

A useful community resource, or a hive of gossip and dangerous procrastination? This 12,000 strong Facebook group records the curious antics and comments of students in mid-exam/deadline mania.

87.9% of students are a member of HiH, so our only advice is watch what you say in the library!

2.OfficialUniversity/CoursePagesandGroups

6MĂ&#x201E;JPHS <UP]LYZP[` UL^Z" PU[LYUZOPW HUK ^VYR L_WLYPLUJL VWWVY[\UP[PLZ" SLJ[\YL JHUJLSSH[PVUZ HUK HJHKLTPJ advice. 62.5% of students agreed that these pages and feeds can be pretty useful. Most courses also OH]L HU VMĂ&#x201E;JPHS ZVJPHS TLKPH WYLZLUJL

3. Official Club/Bar Pages and Groups

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a shame that the Crisis All Nighter is sold out...â&#x20AC;&#x2122; This was at 9.30, and then suddenly at 10pm Crisis posts on Facebook that there are a few tickets left on the door. Jackpot! You may have never known if you hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;likedâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; the club and bar groups on Facebook....

4. Spotted

Much like Heard in Hallward, except that studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; eager eyes and ears for the weird, the wonderful or the WSHPU OPSHYPV\Z HYLUÂť[ JVUĂ&#x201E;ULK [V [OL SPIYHY` 4HRLZ `V\ [OPUR [^PJL HIV\[ [\YUPUN \W [V :HPUZI\Y`Z PU Q\Z[ your pyjamas, doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it?

5. Student Media

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Takeaways Takeaways are a key element to the diet of Nottingham students, with 84.6% HKTP[[PUN [V LH[PUN [OLT YLN\SHYS` >OL[OLY JVTPUN OVTL MYVT H UPNO[ V\[ VY braving 24 hrs in the library, the craving for fast food rules strongly here.

0NUVYL [OL I\JRL[Z VM SLHÅL[Z ZOV]LK \UKLY `V\Y KVVYZ HUK W\ZOLK [OYV\NO `V\Y letter boxes. Our survey shows you the best takeaway suggestions as voted by Nottingham students themselves:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Dino’s (Pizza) Fortune Boy (Chinese) Dominos (Pizza) Savera (Indian) White Horse (Indian)

Placestospendyourmealcardmoney 47% of students surveyed have lived in catered halls, and they will know that your choice of lunch revolves around whatever and how much you can get with that daily £5.10.

“HadlinnerYs.o ugestomuchm ore foodforthem oneyiyfou’re n fusseda boutqu ot ality”

+LZWP[L [OL SHYNL ZLSLJ[PVU VM V\[SL[Z VMMLYLK I` [OL <UP]LYZP[` P[ ZLLTZ [OH[ Z[\KLU[Z HYLU»[ WHY[PJ\SHYS` PTWYLZZLK >OLU X\LZ[PVULK VU [OLPY MH]V\YP[L [OL TVZ[ WVW\SHY option was ‘None’ with 21.3% of the votes.

Baguette Bar in the Portland Building, with its array of sandwiches, burgers and jacket potatoes, was not far behind, gaining 19.23% of total votes. Portland’s Love Chicken Joes and Man’s Gourmet were also recommended, with a total 18% of votes.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;I HAVE TO PAY HOW MUCH?!â&#x20AC;?

IMPACT REVEALS THE REAL PRICE OF YOUR DEGREE Students now paying ÂŁ9,000 tuition fees can be pretty sure that higher education is going to cost them. Although as a freshGBDFE mSTU ZFBS EP ZPV SFBMMZ UIJOL BCPVU the other course costs you may be faced with? The textbooks youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be required to buy; the pages youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have to print; the travel expenses to placements youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have to fork out for? Or did you arrive with no prior knowledge of these costs?

Multiple additional costs were revealed by an Education Network survey, circulated amongst University of Nottingham TUVEFOUT JO %FDFNCFS ø PG UIF 426 students that responded from 48 separate schools and departments said that they had encountered additional costs while working towards their degree.

'SPN UIF JEFOUJmFE BSFBT XIFSF DPTUT were encountered, textbooks were the most common. 89.6% agreed that they had incurred the cost of lengthy reading lists.

Hundreds of pounds can be spent on books. Mathematical Sciences students DPVME QBZ VQ UP b UIF IJHIFTU mHVSF amongst all departments featured.

The second highest is paid by those undertaking Contemporary Chinese Studies, a total of ÂŁ300.

Jenny Hall, the administration manager of the Contemporary Chinese Studies department, told us that prospective students should contact the department for extra details about additional course costs, commenting, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t expect our students to buy all the books on reading lists so we would encourage them to talk UP UIFJS UVUPST UP mOE PVU XIBU UIF LFZ texts are, and to utilise the Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s libraryâ&#x20AC;?.

The library, Moodle and printed notes also go some way to help students from the Mathematical Sciences department to BWPJE UIF b mHVSF Henry Semenenko, a third year Mathematics Sciences student, tells Impact that he hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t had to buy a single textbook yet, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need them really because our lecture notes cover pretty much everything... The books are more for background.â&#x20AC;?

However, the Education Network survey reveals other additional costs that form a core requirement of multiple courses. The overall price of a year abroad - including tuition, accommodation and other costs can add up to more than a full three years tuition at university in some departments.

Sarah Bull, a third year languages student who is about to undertake a year abroad JO (FSNBOZ FYQMBJOFE UIF mHVSFT i"QBSU GSPN UIF FYQFOTFT PG nJHIUT BOE insurance etcetera the year abroad is BDUVBMMZ mOBODJBMMZ RVJUF MVDSBUJWF *O terms of tuition fees, the year abroad doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t cost a thing, and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to pay fees to Nottingham either. On top

of that I get more money from Student Finance and I get the Erasmus Grant.

However, anywhere out of Europe, you wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get the Erasmus Grant.â&#x20AC;?

The American and Canadian Studies department told Impact that tuition fees would cost only ÂŁ1,725 for a year abroad.

However, it also said that no grants are currently available for other costs, such as maintenance allowances and most of the studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; year abroad is self-funded.

The Education Network survey revealed that some students studying American and Canadian Studies can pay up to ÂŁ10,000 on their year abroad.

English and American Studies student, Sarah Worth, says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Once all the costs start adding up from the little to the really big, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m talking visa fees to accommodation, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking at $7,000 per semester at least, without any extras, BOE OPU JODMVEJOH nJHIUT *UT UIF NPTU amazing opportunity but you either need to have an amazing amount of support or be prepared to go in debt. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I guess thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just part of the decision but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a bit of a shock when you see all UIF mHVSFT BEEFE VQw TIF BEEFE

Student Finance informs funding applicants, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The level of maintenance support a student gets may well differ from what they might receive if studying in the UK and they may get no living cost TVQQPSU BU BMM < > 4UVEFOUT NBZ BMTP mOE they need to prove that they can support themselves from their own funds [in order to study abroad]â&#x20AC;?.

Printing is an additional cost keenly felt by 83.6% of UoN students. Many of our readers will be familiar with the protocol of handing in an online and paper copy of their coursework, where printing becomes essential. Undergraduates have a ÂŁ6 yearly printing allowance, accessible via their student cards. However, Impact can reveal that for some courses this barely covers the cost.

While most additional printing costs were under ÂŁ100, the survey showed that those studying Architecture and Built Environment are paying an enormous ÂŁ400 on printing.

Impact spoke to a third year Architecture student, Ethan Glover, who estimates that students from his department spend on average ÂŁ200 - ÂŁ250 on printing every year. Ethan told Impact , â&#x20AC;&#x153;Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just using the cheapest paper, which people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t UFOE UP VTF GPS mOBM QSFTFOUBUJPOT BOZXBZ Its worth saying, though, that I certainly expected it to be an expensive course and we do get support as weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re part of the engineering departmentâ&#x20AC;?.

However only 6.1% of students from all departments surveyed knew about printing costs before arrival. 44.6% said UIBU UIFZ XPVME IBWF QSFGFSSFE UP mOE PVU about this information beforehand from their school or department.

This highlights a desire for communication between department and student concerning potential extra areas of expenditure in all schools of the University. In some cases, up to 50% wished for pre-arrival information on additional course costs. 51.2% of students undertaking courses with additional costs, such as Biology, Electronic Engineering, Physiotherapy and Veterinary Medicine and Science said they would have liked to have been informed about uniform costs before arriving at University.

Students from the Medical and Health Sciences faculty were met with the

greatest array of costs. This included ÂŁ178.50 on Veterinary Medicine uniform; ÂŁ564 on travel to Veterinary Medicine placements; ÂŁ47 on Medicine CRB checks and ÂŁ100 on Clinical Sciences conference provision per head.

John Whittle, the Teaching and Learning Manager from the faculty, responded to Impactâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s query about these costs: â&#x20AC;&#x153;It is true that medical programmes are long and expensive. We know students buy fewer books than previously and we help by minimising travel costs to remote sites by balancing each studentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s allocation and providing free accommodation in most instances. A recent review recommended we provide future students with some of the essentials, like a stethoscope. Work is ongoing to provide future applicants with typical costs incurred in the programme.â&#x20AC;?

Work has also been done by the NUS to encourage universities to become more transparent about extra costs. Its 2012 campaign â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Come Clean Weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; initiated a commitment of the Universities UK and GuildHE to publish guidance to universities on how to communicate this information to their applicants in Autumn of that year.

Dasha Karzunina, Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Union &EVDBUJPO 0GmDFS TBZT TIF XJMM CF focusing on reducing the course costs of students from the schools of Veterinary Medicine and Science and Architecture and Built Environment as they currently incur the highest costs. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We have had HSFBU TVDDFTTFT mHIUJOH DPTUT JO UIF school of Russian and Slavonic Studies last year and found that tackling this issue on a school by school basis is most FGGFDUJWF ø â&#x20AC;&#x153;Having been made aware of the issues, the department have made a commitment to seek alternative ways of delivering their study abroad services that either incur lower costs or no costs at all.

Furthermore, they committed to making those costs more transparent by using a variety of methods to communicate them more clearly and making students aware of the potential costs throughout the year to allow for budgetingâ&#x20AC;?.

ÂŁ ÂŁ ÂŁ

Mathematical sciences students can pay up to ÂŁ515 on textbooks

67% of students said they encountered additional costs while working towards their degree

Only 6.1% of students said they knew about printing costs before arrival

Former President of the NUS, Liam Burns, stated last year: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Universities must be transparent about non-essential costs and make a commitment to students that there will not be further additions throughout the course.â&#x20AC;?

Emily Shackleton

www.impactnottingham.com/features

IMPACT 225

11

How did you come to be involved with Michael?

How was Michael in terms of martial arts?

I had massive success with starting up martial arts schools when I was 17. I was living in Barnstaple in North Devon, and I gained 600/700 members in three months. The media started to report about me â&#x20AC;&#x201C; â&#x20AC;&#x153;bullied boy become millionaireâ&#x20AC;?, and I got onto TV shows like Trisha and GMTV. Out of the blue Uri Geller wanted to meet me, because he wanted to do a mUOFTT WJEFP XJUI NF * XFOU UP TFF IJN at his house, and we ended up being really close friends. One night, at about three in the morning, he phoned me up and insisted I come over. I arrived and Michael Jackson was there. Michael was obsessed with martial arts. He was already a black belt in Kung Fu, and wanted to continue his training. Uri knew I was already a millionaire and that I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want anything from him, that Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be a friend to him and that I could look after the security side too. We hit it off, and we become solid friends for over ten years.

He was one of the best martial artists Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve ever seen. People might laugh at that because of the image he projected, but he was very sharp. Martial arts is very similar to dance. He was one of the best dancers in the world, and he could bring that across to his martial arts. He was also a very goal driven, ambitious person â&#x20AC;&#x201C; heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d wake up with a goal in mind and work towards that.

12

IMPACT 225

â&#x20AC;&#x153;BEHIND CLOSED DOORS HE WAS JUST A NORMAL GUY.â&#x20AC;?

What was he like as a man, in private? )F XBT KVTU B OPSNBM HVZ QFPQMF mOE JU hard to believe. He projected an image he wanted the public to see, he knew if he if he put a big bit of tape on his nose

or a bit of makeup on he was going to make world-wide news, and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what he wanted. He used to say me, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Matt, I want my life to be the biggest mystery on earth.â&#x20AC;? Behind closed doors he was just a normal guy, intelligent, sharp and very, very publicity savvy. Whenever XF XPVME MBOE JO OFX DPVOUSJFT UIF mSTU thing he would do was to hold a meeting and work out how we could make the front pages with certain publicity stunts.

Some went in his favour; some were a bit too controversial, like the baby dangling thing. All in all, he was a clever, clever man.

What made him happy?

On stage he was most happy. He was MJLF B EJGGFSFOU HVZĂž 5IF mSTU UJNF * TBX him perform was in Munich. I spent hours and hours with him before he went on, and heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like this shy guy who wants to keep out of everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s way, but when he got on stage he was a different bloke. A spark lit up. He always said to me that

“MICHAEL JACKSON WAS ONE OF THE BEST MARTIAL ARTISTS I’VE EVER SEEN” Impact interviews Michael Jackson’s friend and bodyguard - Matt Fiddes he became Michael Jackson, he wasn’t born that way, he made the effort. He never believed in talent, he thought you made your own talent – it wasn’t a gift, you develop it yourself - practicing 3 or 4 hours a day is not an innate talent.

“HE USED TO SAY – “MATT, I WANT MY LIFE TO BE THE BIGGEST MYSTERY ON EARTH.”” Where do you currently stand on the claims that you were blanket Jackson’s biological father?

I’m not currently pursuing it at all. At that time in his life, and it’s been well publicised, several of his friends tried to help him out because he wanted help to conceive the kids. Mine was never supposed to go public, but I launched a lawsuit against a production company www.impactnottingham.com/features

and a lot of the Jackson family. Michael’s friends had to give witness statements and that’s where it leaked out - in 2009 through the News of the World. I’m not pursuing it at all, I don’t know one way or another. All I know is what I read in the press. Other than that I have no idea.

So you’ve worked with other celebrities, teaching them selfdefence?

After Michael died I did Gladiators, the ITV series. I was heavily involved with that. Then I helped Peter Andre get his six-pack back just after he split with Kate, I was on his show quite a bit. Pete was good as well, when he got serious at training he was really, really good. He put his mind to things too, he was very, very focused. He was a good martial artist, trained very hard.

So what are you up to at the moment?

I’m building up my martial arts schools, opening more all over the place – giving

people a career in teaching martial arts, giving people the opportunity to open up their own business. We train them up and offer them a package so they can do the job full time. We’re still growing like crazy on that. In September I’m launching MF Dance. It’s the same all over again, but with dance schools. A lot of people qualify XJUI EBODF RVBMJmDBUJPOT BOE UIFZ IBWF nowhere to go with it, so we’re going to build an organisation up around that, where I give them the business support and training.

“SOME [STUNTS] WERE A BIT TOO CONTROVERSIAL, LIKE THE BABY DANGLING THING” Interview conducted by Will Hazell

IMPACT 225

13

Do we have a right to look at naked people on the internet? David Cameron doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem to think so: he has recently set out plans that would force every internet provider in the country to block access to porn.

This would mean users have to opt in to pornography, presumably through a slightly awkward phone conversation with a stranger. How would this affect freshers living in University Halls though? Would the University choose to open its networks to the world of cyber sex?

Whatever your social background, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard to escape the expense of university.

As well as funding an endless conveyor belt of jäger bombs, students (and their QBSFOUT IBWF UP mOE B MBSHF BNPVOU PG money to pay for accommodation â&#x20AC;&#x201C; one year in a catered hall can cost up to ÂŁ5993. The money pays for a lot - you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to worry about food, utility bills or hoovering, but does it buy the right

to look at digital boobs? Is unrestricted browsing something we should expect from our time in halls of residence?

raises the possibility that the University may face some resistance if it went down that path.

University is perceived by many to be one massive shag-fest, but that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean that Nottingham students donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t value porn - in an Impact survey last year, 78% of you admitted to watching it regularly. When we asked Second Year Classical Civilisations student Dan Grant about the possibility of it being blocked, he told us â&#x20AC;&#x153;Not everyone goes home with someone after Crisis on a Wednesday night, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t kick a man when heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s down!â&#x20AC;?

For now, it is hard to say what would happen if these plans were to become law. It does seem unfair to expect freshers to spend large amounts of cash to live on campus, and then deny them access to digital dongs. There is a good chance however, that universities may avoid the legislation altogether. A University spokesperson told Impact, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The agreement announced recently covers the four major internet providers, not smaller private networks such as Janet, which is used by UK universities.â&#x20AC;?

It may not be something discussed in polite conversation, but watching porn is obviously an activity that students would sorely miss. Would the University seriously consider enforcing a block?

Websites that are considered to be dangerous are already blocked on the network, so the precedent is already there. The possibility is already being looked at, as a spokesperson from the University revealed: â&#x20AC;&#x153;The University has noted developments in this area and will continue to monitor the situation.â&#x20AC;? An outright ban would undoubtedly irritate many, but if every higher education institute in the country were to enforce it, JU E CF EJGmDVMU UP QSPUFTU BHBJOTU JU The Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Union have said that they might get involved if there was enough of an outcry. They told Impact, â&#x20AC;&#x153;If large numbers of students were to raise concern over the University not opting-in then we would consider what action to take.â&#x20AC;? This demonstrates sensitivity to UIF EJGmDVMUJFT UIF CMPDL NBZ DBVTF BOE

1414

IMPACT IMPACT 225 225

If that remains true, it would appear that freshersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; access to pornography will go undisturbed. However, the issue is unlikely to go away. As cyberspace becomes even more important in the running of our society, the government will undoubtedly push for greater control over what we can access.

Those living in the University may be able to sidestep the prospect of a porn block for now, but we should remain aware that the threat of governmental censorship is not going to go away.

Will Hazell

IMPACT’S BUCKET LIST CAN YOU DO THEM ALL? +HUHҋV D OLVW RI LGHDV WR KHOS \RX RQ \RXU ZD\ WR IXOO\ H[SORUH HYHU\ FUD]\ DVSHFW RI VWXGHQW OLIH DW 1RWWLQJKDP Go the to Goose Fair Visit the three oldest pubs in Nottingham: Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem Pub Ye Olde Salutation Inn The Bell Inn Find all the secret underground passages on University Campus

Take a chlamydia test at Cripps for a free Savoy cinema ticket Go to Carnage on Sundays Get colourful on the Downs at the Holi festival Eat nachos in Mooch and wash it down with a cocktail jug Join a student media group Visit the Boilermaker bar in Hockley

Go to the Christmas market in Old Market Square

Play for a University sports team

Pull an all-nighter in Hallward

Feed ducks on the lake

Explore Lace Market’s vintage shops

Go ice skating at The Capital FM Arena

Play Quidditch on the Downs

Eat a club sandwich at The Jam Cafe

Watch the cricket at Trent Bridge

Go boating on the lake

Visit Broadway cinema

Watch a New Theatre Play

Find the hidden gardens on the University and Jubilee Campuses

See Nottingham Forest FC play

Sample the cocktails in Tilt bar Pay a visit to Nottingham’s Caves Feast on a burger in Spanky Van Dykes Visit Nottingham Castle Meet the Easy Tiger Study in the Hallward Sky Lounge 4QPU UIF -FOUPO nBTIFS Go to a beer or cider festival

Drink vodka jelly shots in The Bluebell Go to Lee Rosy’s tea shop Go on a Rag raid Visit Wollaton Hall Volunteer Apply for a Students’ Union Executive position 4BNQMF BMM PG /PUUJOHIBN T mOFTU UBLFBXBZT Go to at least one gig

Sledge on the Downs

Attend a Nottingham music festival e.g Dot to Dot, Splendour

Reach the end of an all-nighter at Crisis

Take your shirt off for the ‘Baywatch’ theme tune in Ocean

Visit the Hemsley Restaurant on campus

Try a Lemon Dragon at Coco Tang

Dress up and join in the Seven Legged Bar Crawl

Find the hidden prohibition bar in Coco Tang

8BUDI B mMN BU UIF .BZIFN 'JMN 'FTUJWBM

Visit Annie’s Burger Shack for beef and blues

Go on a Trent v Uni Varsity bar crawl

Learn a new language on a University evening course

Have a vodka shot with brunch at the Warsaw Diner

See the deer in Wollaton Park

Watch a Varsity sports event

Apply for an Exec position on a society

Party it up at Highness, Bodega

Find the Robin Hood statue

See how many people you can get into the Crisis photo booth pictures

Watch a production at the Nottingham Playhouse or the Victorian Theatre Royal

Try the 1kg meat challenge at The Rose and Crown

#F JO B /FX 5IFBUSF 1MBZ ø

Visit Sherwood Forest

Swim in the fountains in Market Square IMPACT 225

15

WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER SUMMER WE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT NOTTINGHAM STUDENTS GET UP TO ONCE THE EXAM RESULTS ARE IN AND THE SUN IS (SUPPOSED TO BE) UP. NOT A LOT APPARENTLY.

T

E

A

M

11% ONLY 11% HAVE SNAGGED A PAID INTERNSHIP

1/4 OF STUDENTS DIDN’T GET A HOLIDAY

70%

HAVEN’T DONE ANY ACADEMIC WORK AT ALL

60%

HAVEN’T WORKED ON A SUMMER PROJECT

ONLY 17% HAVE DONE ANY VOLUNTEERING

1/5 PLANNED TO HAVE A HOLIDAY FLING

AND 1 STUDENT REVEALED THEY’RE GETTING MARRIED! www.impactnottingham.com/features

IMPACT 225

17

TRAVEL

A L A R E K , M S I N U M S T M A O O C C N I A R D N A 5IF IBNNFS BOE TJDLMF nVUUFST MJNQ BCPWF the Indian state of Kerala. Old men and women who have spent their lives working for the proletariat have grown disillusioned, while their children go off to work in the Gulf and bring back the family wages. This is the new revolution.

Kerala, unlike its political persuasion, is a green tropical paradise.

Step out onto the tarmac of Cochin International Airport and the wall of humidity will hit you hard. Monsoons strike throughout the hot summer months, nPPEJOH QBEEZ mFMET BOE IPNFT BMJLF This is how the Kerala Backwaters are maintained; a patchwork of thousands of streams, rivers and lakes.

common food ingredient. Coconut milk is fermented in home distilleries to be turned into hot toddy, and at night the streets are paved with men selling their home brews.

If you do not like palm trees and coconut, stay far away.

Keralites speak Malayalam, a Dravidian based language largely untouched by PVUTJEF JOnVFODF 5IF DVSSFOU SFMJHJPVT divide of Hindus, Muslims and Christians rarely excites people into sectarian strife.

This probably has something to do with the long history of various denominations in the region. First were the Buddhists in the 8th century, then came the Hindus, the Arab traders and the Portuguese Christian missionaries later on. Curiously, there was also a large Jewish community â&#x20AC;&#x153;THE ENERGIES up until the 20th century in the capital Cochin. The Jewish quarter is now a SAVED IN AVOIDING popular tourist destination.

RELIGIOUS VIOLENCE The energies saved in avoiding religious violence are often directed into political ARE OFTEN DIRECTED action. The strike and the picket line is a INTO POLITICAL familiar image in rural and urban Kerala.

As in many other countries, politics is the ACTION.â&#x20AC;? crux of most conversations. The political Houseboats are a common sight on these machinations involving the CPI, the CBDLXBUFST BMPOH XJUI $IJOFTF mTIJOH Communist Party of India, are weighed nets; 10 metre high triangular contraptions up against the perceived threat posed lowered into water from land based by the Indian National Congress Party on wooden stages. the front of The Hindu, the stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most It is this abundance of water that has popular newspaper. In the most recent shaped the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Spice Gardenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; of India. Rich legislative elections in 2011, two coalitions soil produces the majority of the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s were formed; the Left Democratic Front black pepper, the majority of Indiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rubber, and the United Democratic Front, headed and anchors millions of palm trees to the

by Mr Achuthanandan (CPI) and Mr earth. These trees infuse Keralite culture.

Chandy (INC) respectively. To adequately Palm leaves are used as plates to serve understand the nuances of each front, a the traditional Sadhya: a mix of vegetarian 1I% JO UIF mOFS QPJOUT PG .BSYJTU UIFPSZ curries and rice. The coconut shell is XPVME CF IFMQGVM UIPVHI OPU TVGmDJFOU used in coir production and the pulp is a What have the people of Kerala gained 18

IMPACT 225

from the alternating CPI and INC lead governments over the last 60 years?

Ranked 1st of all Indian states on the Human Development Index, Keralites are rightly proud of their 95% literacy and view their institutions as the least corrupt, as compared with the rest of India. High spending by successive governments on education, healthcare and the elimination of poverty means public services are able to cope with the most densely packed state.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;IF YOU DO NOT LIKE PALM TREES AND COCONUT, STAY FAR AWAY.â&#x20AC;?

The problems that plague Kerala are however equally important. The transport network is struggling to cater to the rapidly increasing number of people and DBST 'JFSDF BOUJ DPNQFUJUJPO SVMFT TUJnF an otherwise entrepreneurial populace.

Protectionism prevents foreign investment from producing the capital needed to fund major transport projects.

On the itinerary list of many travellers, Kerala is the consummate holiday destination. Long white beaches straddle the Arabian Sea. The weather is hot and humid and the environment is safe.

Considering the many luxury hotels that locate themselves on these shores, it is humbling to think that this most capitalist pursuit was nurtured under the shade of a most communist people.

Alexander Fitzgerald

BARING ALL IN A RUSSIAN BANYA â&#x20AC;&#x153;Go to a banya, like a Russian sauna?â&#x20AC;? together for massaging. Everything was Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d said yes before the words really sunk in.

Smiling and nodding to show Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d found the thought of being naked in front of random women perfectly normal, I immediately started to think how I could get out of the invitation.

After six weeks of being pretty much ignored by my co-workers, I befriended one colleague, who took it upon herself to mMM UIF MBTU XFFL PG NZ JOUFSOTIJQ *U XPVME probably have made more sense if weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d d taken our friendship slowly, but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clearly not how the Russians do things. In one day, we went from coffee after work to naked sauna.

I met my colleague by her local metro station. I like to think I did a very good job of seeming nonchalant about my impending doom as we chatted on our walk to the banya. The building was JNQSFTTJWF IVHF EBSL BOE UJMFE GSPN nPPS to ceiling. Each stairwell landing had large mosaic pieces depicting various scenes of Moscow. I resisted the urge to take photos; I wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible.

We paid 600 rubles (ÂŁ12) for two hours at the Izmailovskaya Banya, but prices depend on how prestigious the sauna is.

The best one, according to my companion, costs over 1200 rubles for two hours. The banya tradition is a big part of Russian culture, to the extent that children are allowed to enter the hot rooms. Is it not a little bit dangerous to let kids sit in rooms heated to boiling point? Apparently not.

We undressed in a large wooden cabin.

There wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t much privacy so we stripped for the world to see, leaving clothes and belongings strewn across the benches.

Feeling incredibly vulnerable and oddlooking in my towel and woolly hat, I followed my friend into the banya.

5IF mSTU SPPN XBT MJLF B HJBOU CBUISPPN A few showers lined the walls, and several benches were topped with big, watermMMFE CVDLFUT BOE CVODIFT PG MFBWFT UJFE www.impactnottingham.com/travel

tiled in various tones of blue, and the room was cool, in stark contrast to the steamy wood-panelled hot room. And, boy, was it hot! Sitting on my towel and baring all, I soon forgot to be embarrassed about people seeing me naked; I was more focused on not fainting due to the heat.

After ten minutes of boiling in my skin, I was ushered out of the sauna, handed a dustpan and a brush, and told to â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;be quickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. I swept up the leaves that were scattered throughout the sauna as fast as the heat would allow me to while my GSJFOE NPQQFE UIF nPPS CFIJOE NF 8F then poured the buckets of cool water over ourselves before being rushed back into the sauna.

-ZJOH PO UIF nPPS VODPNGPSUBCMZ DMPTF to other peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s boobs, I contemplated how surprisingly nice the water was when burning hot air started wafting over me. I raised my head to watch a staff member violently wave a towel to spread the hot air throughout the room. She interspersed towel spinning with hurling scoops of aromatherapy oil at the walls. In the midst of appreciative groans from those around me, I concentrated on breathing; I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t handle the embarrassment of losing consciousness in a sauna.

After drinking a bottle of water and going through the sauna-pool process a few more times, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d forgotten that strangers could see everything and actually started to enjoy myself. Later, when we were out on the street again, I realised how relaxed I felt. The routine of boiling, cooling, and trying not to faint may not have been completely stress-free, but I left feeling SFGSFTIFE BOE SFKVWFOBUFE * XJMM EFmOJUFMZ be going to a banya again. Hell, maybe youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll even see me on a nudist beach next summer!

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I COULDNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T HANDLE THE EMBARRASSMENT OF LOSING CONSCIOUSNESS IN A SAUNA.â&#x20AC;?

Josephine Hough

IMPACT 225

19

SCIENCE & TECH

Feeling Fresh?

(YHU ZRQGHUHG ZK\ \RXU KHDOWK GHWHULRUDWHV LQ WKH Ă&#x20AC;UVW ZHHNV RI XQLYHUVLW\" 6XUH \RXŇ&#x2039;YH GUXQN DEXQGDQW DPRXQWV RI DOFRKRO VSHQW WKH HDUO\ KRXUV RI WKH PRUQLQJ GUHVVHG LQ FUD]\ DWWLUH RU VFUDPEOHG RXW RI EHG WR DWWHQG HDUO\ OHFWXUHV EXW ZKDW UHDOO\ GHPROLVKHV D VWXGHQWŇ&#x2039;V LPPXQH V\VWHP" +HUHŇ&#x2039;V ZKDW Impact blames.

The Kitchen

The Food

Lack of sleep

This may be focused more on the selfcatered among you or those who have NPWFE JOUP UIFJS mSTU IPVTF CVU JU T inevitable - the kitchen will get messy. The minute the parents are gone, so does the kitchen hygiene. The plates build up, the alcohol bottles congregate, the fridge will not be cleaned out all year (be honest) and you realise just how quickly your entire food supply goes mouldy.

You come to university with bright eyes and a student cookbook. Wellâ&#x20AC;Ś after a week the eyes are blurry and the student cookbook is on a shelf not to be uncovered until the day you move out. Instead you discover the basics range, along with Iceland ready meals and takeaways. The ready meal industry is worth ÂŁ2.6 billion and students can EFmOJUFMZ UBLF TPNF DSFEJU GPS UIBU But these ready meals are high in salt, preservatives and saturated fat.

The lack of sleep caused by quite a few MBUF OJHIUT JO UIF mSTU XFFLT XJMM TPPO DSFFQ up on you, causing you to lose attention and making you forgetful. It can also make you gain weight, kill sex drive and reduce immunity, making you far more likely to get colds. Team that up with a lecture theatre GVMM PG TOJGnJOH TUVEFOUT BOE ZPV SF TVSF UP catch something.

A study by Leeds Metropolitan University QSPWFE UIBU UIF LJUDIFO nPPS PG BO BWFSBHF student kitchen carries more than 6 million bacteria; thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more than a loo seat. The average student mop also contains so NBOZ CBDUFSJB UIBU DMFBOJOH ZPVS nPPS could actually make it worse.

Also, the high sugar levels in fast foods affect your metabolism. You secrete more insulin to lower your blood sugar levels but this only has a short term effect. Fast food contains little nutrients so your blood sugar rapidly drops making you feel tired and grumpy.

The kitchen sink itself could contain over The calorie content for the average take 100,000 times more bacteria than your away is also very high with an average toilet. Washing-up brushes, tea towels Indian containing 1,338, as well as 19 and chopping boards trap thousands of teaspoons of sugar, and a Chinese has bacteria including E-coli. an average of 1436 calories. Out of the :PV DBO FJUIFS CF UIF nBUNBUF XIP OBHT BU high street fast food brands, the most the others to wash their dishes, or you can DBMPSJmD JUFN JT #VSHFS ,JOH T DIJDLFO admit defeat and spend the rest of the year sandwich with 659 calories, more than even a Big Mac. These foods increase living in squalor.

CMPPE QSFTTVSF BOE NBLF JU EJGmDVMU UP concentrate.

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Half o f 24 ye 16 to a Engla r olds in n Wales d and have tried drugs

90% of most us will get comm only c GSFTIFS T nV anna bis during the mSTU XFFLT Only a quarter of term of drinkers donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get hangovers 20

IMPACT 225

Taking energy drinks to give you a quick boost may actually be more harmful for ZPV 5IF DBGGFJOF BSUJmDJBM TXFFUFOFST and chemicals in them can make you angry, cause headaches, increase blood pressure and further disrupt your sleep.

The cure to an all-nighter? Powernaps lasting 20 minutes have been proven to CF CFOFmDJBM UP ZPVS IFBMUI 5IFZ SFEVDF stress hormones, increase memory and will give you the energy and alertness to power through the next late night.

Philosophy students are most likely to take drugs at University...

...law and medical students are least likely to experiment Jessica Hewitt-Dean and Faiza Peeran

Impactâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s essential

student

apps Apps to make your life as a student easier

UoNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own free student app. Ignoring unnecessary features such as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Photosâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and PDDBTJPOBM GVODUJPOBM nBXT the app is helpful for those living off campus and on Jubilee. It has a timetable for hopper buses, a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;PC Finderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, maps and opening hours of libraries and cafes on campus.

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Moving away from home is stressful, especially with the added independence of managing your own money.

MoneyBook is a simple app to help you manage your student budget effectively, allowing you keep track of your spending easily, helping you categorise your spending and giving monthly breakdowns.

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USB stick playing up last minute? Dropbox Mobile keeps documents, photos and videos in the cloud. Save NBOVBMMZ CBDLJOH VQ mMFT XJUI automatic syncing straight to your Dropbox account. First time users get 2GB of free storage plus 500MB for every friend you recommend.

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What better way to get UP LOPX ZPVS OFX nBUNBUFT than by playing drinking games? This app saves the setup and explains the rules of most drinking games and guarantees a great start to the night.

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A powernap has got to be the best cure after late nights. Cover noises around you with neutral tracks, which create a peaceful atmosphere that send you to sleep. With tracks such as Pebble Beach and Forest Night you will feel calm and mask noisy housemates, or if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trying to catch a rest in the library.

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At University note taking is a given; youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be faced with an overwhelming amount of information in lectures and seminars. Want to stay ahead of the game? With Evernote, note entries can be made as text, audio or photos, handy for the times when a pen isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quick enough. It can be synced with other devices.

(YHUQRWH IUHH L26

Got too much on and canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t organise your time, juggling deadlines with your next social or lecture? iStudiez pro plans your time so you wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t miss events, or have any clashes. Its timetable organises your deadlines, alerts you of upcoming social events and backs up your previously saved work.

L6WXGLH] SUR Â&#x2026; L26

Been somewhere and forgotten how you got there, or want to visit somewhere everyone is talking about?

Pin drop bookmarks your favourite locations onto a map to share with friends. Find the most popular places in Nottingham, read reviews, BOE mOE BOZ PUIFS QMBDFT PG interest for you.

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Jessica Hewitt-Dean Adil Manji and Faiza Peeran www.impactnottingham.com/science

IMPACT 225

21

FOOD

IS IT POSSIBLE TO EAT HEALTH LY IN HALLS? NO

YES

Hall food: value for money? Possibly.

Healthy food? Absolutely not. You would have thought that the emphasis put on healthy eating by the media, government and individuals like Jamie Oliver might have had some impact on the food served on the Nottingham campus. But think again.

To be able to eat healthily in halls, you just need to learn the right approach. Whilst I accept the initial glance of whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s on offer does not make the most appealing proposition when watching your health, I think it is important not to ignore the wider picture.

It seems to me that Nottingham University is taking its students for a ride. When I picture a hall meal all I think of is carbs, and not good ones. Think potato wedges, chips, oily roast potatoes, soggy boiled potatoes, fried potato croquettes, fried potato balls, and all the other potato variations you can imagine.

At the ridiculous time of 5:30pm you are served up a measly portion of the main option which normally contains a meagre amount of protein, usually cooked until itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tough as boots. As a gym-going 6ft 3â&#x20AC;? man itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very hard to get enough protein, or food GPS UIBU NBUUFS UP TVGmDF 5IF POMZ PQUJPO JT UP mMM VQ PO VOIFBMUIZ VTVBMMZ EFFQ GSJFE carbs and try and sneak an extra pudding, or two.

There are healthy options - there is a fruit bowl, from which you can take one piece of the most dull, tasteless pieces of fruit you have ever tasted. Along with that, there is an unexciting salad bar, serving up dry carrots, sweet corn, lettuce and tomatoes. Sometimes you will be lucky and get some left over egg from breakfast. It would not be hard to serve a few different salads every day and to offer a more balanced option of foods.

Finally the fact that portions are controlled by the staff serving them is ridiculous. It means that smaller individuals with small appetites end up leaving half their meal and those who need more protein end up MFBWJOH IVOHSZ PS FMTF mMMJOH VQ PO DIJQT George Hughes-Davies 22

IMPACT 225

For me dinner is what you make of it.

The portions of carbs are nearly always matched by a variety of vegetables and the salad bar does have enough options to be able to create a suitable salad to complement your meal - and balance is the key to healthy eating. The common problem with hall food is less with the healthiness and more with the quality - but that is a different debate all together.

Furthermore, dinner is not the only meal of the day. The amount of healthy options available for breakfast, for example, are abundant. On most days halls will offer eggs, porridge, cereal, fruit, yogurt and even pastries, or a Saturday fry-up if you want to go slightly â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;unhealthyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

Thirdly, what people forget is that the meal cards given to catered students also fall under the banner of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;hall foodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. With the ÂŁ5.10 you receive daily, you are able to go and eat as you please, whether it be at one of the Mixes in halls, or in the food court at Portland. The options are endless: a baguette bar, a Starbucks, Chinese, pasta, African, chicken, and a proper salad bar!

If weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re being honest, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pretty unrealistic to eat healthy 24/7 and as long as students are able to eat a varied lunch of their choice, then frankly whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wrong with coming back to halls for a bit of comfort food after a day of lectures?

Louis Fitzherbert

Meet

PEIRRK EOFFMANN

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As Chef Patron of Koffmannâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s at The Berkeley in Londonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Knightsbridge, Pierre Koffmann is one of the few chefs in the UK to have been awarded - for La Tante Claire - the much desired three Michelin stars.

Having passed on his expertise to the likes of Gordon Ramsay, Marco Pierre White and Marcus Wareing, we were intrigued to see if he had any tips for students!

How did you eat when you were a student?

When I was growing up in France, my mother used to always cook for me using fresh ingredients. We had no choice and had to eat whatever she was cooking!

Nowadays, a family of four asks each other what the other is having, but it shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be like that. People should sit round the table together and all eat the same food. .Z NPUIFS DPPLFE NBJOMZ mTI BOE NFBU - we never had any ready meals like students eat now! Every Friday we had mTI BT XBT USBEJUJPOBM 8F IBE UISFF meals each day like in England, but our breakfasts were very small â&#x20AC;&#x201C; you would OFWFS mOE BOZUIJOH UIF TJ[F PG BO &OHMJTI fry up! We would just have a coffee, with some bread butter and jam. That was breakfast.

What is the best dish you could make for around a tenner?

I would always recommend students to use chicken as, unlike in my day, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very DIFBQ NFBU 8IFO * mSTU DBNF UP -POEPO I was earning only eight pounds a week so could not afford top quality food. Like most students I was eating mainly pasta as it was cheap and incredibly easy to make.

Another option for students is to go to the butchers on a Saturday afternoon before it closes, as the butcher sometimes prepares cuts of meat at a discount.

A tip I would give to students who want to try something different and eat well

www.impactnottingham.com/food

is to stuff vegetables, like tomatoes and courgettes, with meat. Fill the vegetables with meat such as sausage and bacon and bake it in the oven. This takes no time at all and these ingredients are very accessible to students, and not expensive. It is also good to eat a lot of vegetables. Finally, butchers will sell you very cheap chicken bones, from which you can make a stock and a beautiful soup - especially good for the winter when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re back at university.

What are the classic mistakes made by young cooks and aspiring chefs?

The big mistake for all young people who start to cook, is that they want the plate to look good and they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t taste enough food. They forget to do the basics - they want to know how to do the sauces before they learn how to make a stock! When starting to cook at university make sure you get all the basics right! Seasoning, for example, is crucial; sometimes the difference between a good dish and bad dish is a pinch of salt.

Do you have any tips for aspiring chefs at university?

The best advice I can give is to go and learn in a proper kitchen, rather than a private cookery school. Most cookery schools have a nice ambiance and environment, but when the young people come out they are not ready for the toughness that a kitchen demands.

As a chef, you are famous for your pigsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; trotters. Is it true that you only use the back trotters?

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s true! The front legs are quite small and are harder to debone. There is more bone at the back and they shrink when cooked.

When we had a pop up at Selfridges we did 3,200 trotters!

Louis Fitzherbert And George Hughes-Davies IMPACT 225

23

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EXPOSURE

Ben Tynegate

OCTO

Film Releases GRAVITY (Friday 11th October): Children of Men director Alfonso 'YEVzR´W VIXYVR XS WGM ½ WIIW X[S astronauts struggle for survival aboard their damaged space shuttle.

Dir. Alfonso Cuarón.

Stars: George Clooney, Sandra Bullock.

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS (Friday 18th October): The true story of the 2009 hijacking of a U.S cargo ship

by Somali pirates.

Dir. Paul Greengrass.

Stars: Tom Hanks, Catherine Keener.

Cinematic Events Friday 27th September THE FLY &VSEH[E] Kino Klubb present David Cronenberg’s 80s body horror classic THE FLY, starring Jeff +SPHFPYQ EW ER MRZIRXSV [LS EGGMHIRXEPP] WTPMGIW LMW KIRIW [MXL E LSYWI¾] ERH WYJJIVW E KVYIWSQI XVERWJSVQEXMSR (I½RMXIP] RSX one for the squeamish. Screening for free in the bar.

October 31st - November 3rd MAYHEM FILM FESTIVAL &VSEH[E] Mayhem Film Festival returns to &VSEH[E] WLS[GEWMRK XLI ZIV] FIWX JVSQ XLI [SVPH SJ LSVVSV With some amazing sneak preZMI[W ERH WTIGMEP KYIWXW MX´W SRI ]SY HSR´X [ERX XS QMWW 8MGOIXW EVI SR WEPI RS[

30th Monday

7th Monday

1st Tuesday

8th Tuesday

ARTS Northern Ballet’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream

9th >LKULZKH`

2nd >LKULZKH`

MUSIC Kids In Glass Houses Rescue Rooms

3 Thursday rd

MUSIC Wheatus - Rescue Rooms MUSIC Miles Kane - Rock City MUSIC Splashh - Spanky’s

4th Friday ARTS ‘Cymbeline’ by Phizzical Productions - Lakeside Arts Centre MUSIC Spector - Spanky’s MUSIC Kings Of Lyon - Rescue Rooms

5th :H[\YKH` MUSIC Eagulls - Chameleon

6th :\UKH` MUSIC Glasvegas - Rock City

10th Thursday MUSIC Amber - Bodega MUSIC San Cisco - Rescue Rooms

11th Friday MUSIC Passenger - Rock City FILM Gravity

12th :H[\YKH` MUSIC Drenge - Bodega

13th :\UKH`

OBER ‘13 14th Monday MUSIC letlive - Rescue Rooms MUSIC Troumaca - Bodega

15th Tuesday MUSIC The Jim Jones Revue Rescue Rooms MUSIC Goo Goo Dolls - Rock City

16th >LKULZKH` MUSIC Madina Lake - Rescue Rooms MUSIC Temples - Bodega MUSIC Johnny Marr - Rock City

17 Thursday th

18 Friday th

MUSIC Ghostpoet - Bodega FILM Captain Phillips

19th :H[\YKH`

21st Monday MUSIC Everything Everything Rock City

22nd Tuesday MUSIC London Grammar Rescue Rooms ARTS Michael Morpurgo’s The &YXXIV¾] 0MSR 8LIEXVI Royal - Until 26th October

23 >LKULZKH` rd

MUSIC .EK[EV 1E 6IWGYI Rooms

MUSIC Beans On Toast - Bodega MUSIC Bryan Ferry - Royal Concert Hall

29th Tuesday MUSIC 8LI &SSQXS[R 6EXW Rock City MUSIC Jamie Cullum - Royal Concert Hall

30th >LKULZKH`

MUSIC Coasts - Bodega MUSIC Deaf Havana - Rock City

24th Thursday

31st Thursday MUSIC To Kill A King - Rescue Rooms MUSIC The Staves - Glee Club

25th Friday ARTS Richard III - Nottingham Playhouse - Until 16th November

26th :H[\YKH` MUSIC HIM - Rock City

20th :\UKH`

28th Monday

27th :\UKH` MUSIC 'EX½WL 8LI &SXXPIQIR - Bodega MUSIC Tom Odell - Rock City

MUSIC AlunaGeorge - Rock City MUSIC The Blackout - Rock City

Your Pull Out & Keep What’s On Guide

EXPOSURE

Seb English

W E

A R E

F A S H I O N

OPEN LATE EVERY THURSDAY AND FRIDAY UNTIL 8PM PARK FOR ONLY £1.90 AFTER 6PM DAILY

INDIVIDUAL SHOPPING HOURS MAY VARY. CINEMA AND RESTAURANTS OPERATE EXTENDED HOURS.

STYLE

Daringly Different Clockwise from above Paige: Jacket, Topshop, ÂŁ60. Necklace, modelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own. Cropped Top, River Island, ÂŁ20.

Rosie: Jacket, LK Bennet, ÂŁ120, Trousers, Topshop, ÂŁ20.

Sam: Top, Topshop, ÂŁ45. Skirt, Topshop, ÂŁ30.

Styled by: Jessie Roseblade & Harriet Brown Photographer: Ben Tynegate Models: Rosie Feenstra, Samantha Morris & Paige Townsend.

Location: $PDP 5BOH 0GmDJBM 4UVEFOU /JHIU .POEBZ

With thanks to: Henry Ferrer of Coco Tang

30

IMPACT 225

Paige: Jacket (as before), Trousers, Topshop, ÂŁ40. Shoes, Yves Saint Lauren.

Rosie: Jacket (as before), Trousers (as before), Shoes, Topshop.

Sam: Skirt (as before), Top (as before), Shoes, New Look.

www.impactnottingham.com/style

IMPACT 225

31

STYLE STYLE

The pursuit of If you went to a school that made you wear a uniform, non-uniform days were either the bane or highlight of your adolescent MJGF 'PS NF JU XBT UIF GPSNFS SJEJDVMFE mSTU for my pre-teen love of studded belts and mOHFSMFTT HMPWFT UIFO GPS NZ %PD .BSUFOT (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t they too heavy to walk in?â&#x20AC;?), and later still for the fact that probably 80% of my wardrobe comprises of second hand treasures.

The pursuit of individuality can seem a long road when weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still coming to terms with the fact that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re nearly adults, even while we still desperately cling to our childhood. Finding good middle ground can be tough.

Although individuality is a highly coveted quality that most aspire to, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not the only one whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cast a suspicious eye at a pair of bright red thigh highs spotted during the middle of the day. Upon deeper SFnFDUJPO * SFBMJTF UIBU TPSU PG KVEHFNFOU is often rooted in something more supermDJBM UIBO POF QFSTPO T FDDFOUSJD IPTJFSZ choice. It takes guts to pull off something that many would normally consider fancy dress, or perhaps the privacy of a romantic tryst.

Kateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hunters at Glastonbury spawned a uniform festival goers remain strictly loyal to and the Olsen twinsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; boho-chic, whilst blasted by the tabloids, inspired a generation that embraced a new aesthetic and allowed for a pleasant depart from that awkward phase post 90s. Individuality in

individuality

fashion is a trend that goes beyond trying vintage and mixing labels; it leans towards throwing the rulebook out of the window VOUJM ZPV SF GVMMZ TBUJTmFE XJUI XIBU ZPV SF seeing in the mirror.

Another important point to celebrate is the industryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s growing openness towards representing a variety of body shapes. There is no denying that campaigns are still dominated by size 4 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pretty easy to take these phenomena Amazons but thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ever-growing hope for granted on the basis of their respective on the horizon. Mark Fastâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s use of size 14 claims to fame but this type of almostmodels at London Fashion week Spring/ entirely-by-accident yet authoritative Summer 2010 was refreshing (not to menBGmSNBUJPO PG OFX TUZMF SVMFT JT OP MPOHFS tion they made so much more sense in exclusive to celebrities. Tavi Gevinson of body-con), and who could forget Beth Ditto TheStyleRookie.com for example, whose strutting Gaultier a year later? The poster bizarrely unique style quickly garnered HJSM GPS CPEZ DPOmEFODF BOE VOJRVF TUZMF attention from the fashion industry, lead to she gets extra Brownie points for scoring IFS CFDPNJOH B SFHVMBS GSPOU SPX mYUVSF a double whammy and looking fabulous Similarly, Leandre Medine, whose infamous doing it. â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Man Repellerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; fashion blog generated Individuality in fashion involves bold a whole new interest in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;unsexyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; fashion, focusing on personal style to amuse rather moves, tough calls and perhaps most difmDVMU PG BMM BDDFQUJOH XIBU ZPV WF HPU UP than impress. What people seem to apwork with. preciate about individuality in fashion is the consequent potential as a source of Amrit Santos inspiration. What these girls prove is that anyone can put their own stamp on their own individual style and make it appealing to be different.

ONE dress: FOUR ways 7KH VWXGHQW ORDQ LV D ZRQGHUIXO WKLQJ EXW VDGO\ LW GRHVQŇ&#x2039;W DOZD\V VWUHWFK DV IDU DV ZH ZRXOG KRSH 8VH RXU JXLGH IRU LQVSLUDWLRQ DQG VWDQG RXW ZLWK \RXU RZQ XQLTXH WDNH RQ D FODVVLF GUHVV Harriet Brown

Caught on campus Reminisce over summer by taking a festivalesque approach to campus dressing. Throw your books in an ethnic backpack (1. Asos ÂŁ45) and put on some statement jewellery, switch your summer sandals for hill friendly boots (2. River Island) and layer up with a vintage denim jacket (3. Rokit Vintage - ÂŁ26.25). Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re practically back at Glasto, but with more lectures.

3 1

Out and about New year, new city, new clothes. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re QMBOOJOH B /PUUJOHIBN FYQMPSBUJPO mOE ZPVSTFMG a statement bomber jacket (4. Topshop) and practical tote bag (5. Rokit - ÂŁ35) Put on a pair PG UPVHI MFBUIFS CPPUT 0GmDF b JG ZPV SF feeling daring team them with a pair of frilly school-girl socks.

4

5

6 9

8

2

7 10 Forming the backbone of the social calendar the hall formal requires something a little bit special and more than a little bit glam. Make a pair of cocktail earrings the focus of your look (10. Topshop - ÂŁ14.50). Also tie up your hair and wear a splash of red lipstick (11. Nars Satin Lip Pencil in Luxembourg - ÂŁ17.50) XJUI B DBU FZF nJDL UP FYVEF vintage luxe.

Hall formal www.impactnottingham.com/style

Going out for dinner with the girls is the perfect chance to dress up a little bit. Wear this with some FMFHBOU IFFMT 0GmDF b BOE carry the essentials in a vibrant clutch bag (8. Accesorize - ÂŁ45).

Add a little extra glamour with stacks of jewellery (9. Accesorize - ÂŁ6). Simple statements work best.

11

Out for Dinner .PEFM .JLLB :FF %SFTT b ) .

Watch, ring and shoes - modelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own IMPACT 225

33

GAMING

5LYDOULHV LQ JDPLQJ ImpactŇ&#x2039;V JDPLQJ WHDP KDYH HPEHGGHG WKHPVHOYHV GHHS LQ JDPLQJ KLVWRU\ ROG DQG QHZ LQ RUGHU WR SURYLGH \RX ZLWK WKH XOWLPDWH IDFH RII EHWZHHQ WKH ELJJHVW ULYDOULHV LQ WKH JDPLQJ XQLYHUVH.

Solid Snake vs TF2 Spy

Andrew Ryan vs Mr House

Nathan Drake vs Lara Croft

Two masters of stealth and cunning, but only one can be victorious. Although Snake is getting on a bit, he can still show those youngsters what for. The Spy from 5FBN 'PSUSFTT CFUUFS CF SFBEZ GPS B mHIU here.

Both these men used their fortunes to mOBODF UIF SFBMJTBUJPO PG UIFJS ESFBNT CVU which one will win overall?

Finally, we have the one and only Lara Croft, star of Tomb Raider. And her opposition is relatively-new-kid-on-theblock Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series of games.

Firstly, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s look at the Spyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s credentials.

Just in case Snake tries any funny business with his gadgets, the Spy has a device built to sap the life out of equipment, which renders most of Snakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gear useless. He can turn invisible and disguise himself as one of his foes, which is quite the nifty trick. You have to take into account that knife in the back as well.

It certainly stacks the odds in favour of the Spy when it comes to who can deliver on the sneaking front. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beginning to look like weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll hear the famous â&#x20AC;&#x153;Snakeeeeeeeeeee!â&#x20AC;? cry soon enough.

But wait right there! Although the Spy TFFNT UP IBWF UIJT mHIU XFMM BOE USVMZ won, Snake has his trusty CQC (CloseQuarters Combat) which he has used in the past to great effect in taking down CJHHFS mTI UIBO UIF 4QZ )PXFWFS UIBU T only if the Spy comes at him from the front, which is unlikely. Lastly, Snake has his famous cardboard box, which has never failed him yet. It is the ultimate piece of stealth equipment and immune to the Spyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sapping device so it may be, just may be, his way back into this showdown.

Who would win overall? As much as I love Snake, the Spy seems to have the upper hand in this battle. Only time will tell; Snake has got himself out of worse but it doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look good.

34

IMPACT 225

Andrew Ryan is still in relatively good physical condition, all things considering, which would give him the edge over the decrepit and withering Mr House JO B GBJS mHIU )F BMTP QMBZT HPMG XIJDI automatically skyrockets his evilness rating. He wears a pretty sweet suit too; always important in the world of being a self-styled leader of your own world.

Meanwhile Mr House is basically a zombie in a box. When he eventually does become humanityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s savior, how will he do anything? By giving orders to his robots?

5IBU T IBSEMZ CFmUUJOH B DSB[Z UZSBOU BOE letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s be honest, he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even want to control the world; he only cares about his own little piece of the world and be damned with the rest.

So in short, no, the House doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always win. If these two wannabe leaders of man ever came face-to-face, Ryan would come out top every time.

Although she started off in gaming as an undeniable sex symbol, she has become much more than another pretty face.

Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not only more established and experienced than Drake but sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s faced off against just as dangerous threats as Drake, putting them at an equal footing, if not tipping the scales in favour of Lara.

However, Nate has friends in the form of Sully and Elena, which puts him at an advantage if he gets into trouble; at least he has someone to help him. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also had the better games recently compared to Ms Croft, which may make him more popular in the eyes of the gaming world.

Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s witty and charming, which are skills valuable to any adventurer. In short, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s kind of like a virtual Indiana Jones.

So overall then, who wins out as king or queen of the jungle? Controversially, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have to go for Drake. Although Lara is an iconic character and easily one of gamingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest heroes, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been upstaged in recent times by a new challenger. Maybe one day, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll see the return of the great Ms Croft, but Drake has her beaten as it stands.

Robert Priest

Gaming through the ages We at Impact Gaming ZDQW WR VKDUH ZLWK \RX WKH JUHDWHVW PRPHQWV RI YLGHR JDPLQJ DQG WKH ZD\ LQ ZKLFK JDPLQJ DV DQ DUW IRUP KDV HYROYHG IURP 3RQJ WR PXOWL ELOOLRQ GROODU IUDQFKLVHV OLNH DOO RI 'XW\ DQG +DOR 7KHVH HYHQWV KDYH QRW RQO\ VKDSHG WKH ZKROH LQGXVWU\Ň&#x2039;V ULVH WR ZKHUH LW LV WRGD\ DQG ZKDW LW ZLOO ORRN OLNH LQ WKH IXWXUH EXW DOVR KDV DIIHFWHG WKH ZD\ WKDW SHRSOH OLYH

Pong 1972

Portable Gaming 1989

"MUIPVHI 1POH XBTO U UIF mSTU WJEFP HBNF it was right in the early years of video game innovation. Pong stepped into the unknown with a gamble that determined the direction gaming would take for the next couple of years. It proved to be a massive success and people could not get enough of it; some were queuing for hours to play. With Pongâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s popularity came enormous amounts of arcade bars that began to spread around the world, QSPWJOH UIF mSTU CJH TUBHF JO HBNJOH T growth.

Although home gaming was a big step in the development of gaming, an even bigger step was the release of the (BNFCPZ /JOUFOEP T mSTU IBOEIFME console in 1989. Gameboy allowed users to play different games by changing cartridges and playing likes of Mario, Zelda and Tetris. It also allowed users to add plenty of peripherals such as the Gameboy Printer and the Gameboy Camera; massive innovations at the time.

Portable gaming today can be seen in handheld consoles such as Nintendoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 3DS and the PlayStation Vita. In addition, one of the most notable markets is smartphone gaming, exploding onto the scene with Angry Birds and Temple Run.

Arcade Gaming 1970s-1980s With Pong going strong, there was to be another massive game that would hit the world: Space Invaders. It became a massive cultural phenomenon and a global icon that established the industry in the mindset of millions; the pixelated alien became a pop culture icon of the time. Arcade bars appeared in almost every city in the US. In 1980 the Pacman craze helped the game to be among those select few that almost everyone will recognise, even if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not gamers themselves.

Personal Computers 1950s Personal computers have changed how we live our lives like nothing ever before.

With every advance in the world of computers, such as increased processing power and storage, gaming has also QSPmUFE &BDI ZFBS HBNFT BSF MPPLJOH better and more realistic, offering new exciting ways to play.

Home Consoles 1970s

Interactive gaming 2003

Taking the most popular games from the arcades and placing them in your living room was the obvious next step for the industry. Most gamers have since had a gaming console at least once in their lives. There are more consoles in peoplesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; homes than ever before and they have become an essential part of our daily lives by also becoming cutting edge multimedia centres. Soon enough, there will be a new generation in the form of the Xbox One and the Playstation 4.

Developments in gaming are moving in the direction of virtual reality: the ability to have unparalleled control using your own bodies. Although the infamous Virtual Boy XBT POF PG UIF mSTU UP MPPL BU JOUFSBDUJWF HBNJOH JU XBT B nPQ TP XF XPO U DPVOU JU as a game-changer. The EyeToy for PS2 in 2003 was another big step; later built on by Nintendo and the Wii and pushed into areas of console gaming by Xbox Kinect and Playstation Move. Exciting news regarding VR is the development of Oculus Rift, which is a virtual reality system allowing you to see through the DIBSBDUFS T FZFT JO mSTU QFSTPO

www.impactnottingham.com/gaming

Robert Priest

1972 Atariâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pong is released 1977 "UBSJ JOUSPEVDFT UIF mSTU DBSUSJEHF CBTFE IPNF console system Atari 2600 1978 Atari introduces Space Invaders to the world 1980 #BUUMF[POF UIF mSTU % HBNF JT SFMFBTFE 1985 Tetris is released 1989 Nintendo introduces Gameboy 1994 Playstation and Sega Saturn make their debut in Japan 1998 Sega introduces Dreamcast 2000 Sony PlayStation 2 is launched 2001 8JOEPXT SFMFBTFT 9CPY UIFJS mSTU HBNJOH console together with Nintendoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s GameCube 2005 Xbox 360 is released 2006 Playstation 3 hits the shelves together with the Nintendo Wii which becomes one of the bestselling consoles to date 2008 World of Warcraft reaches 10 million subscribers 2013 Playstation 4 and Xbox One are announced IMPACT 225

35

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Recent Impact alumni have gone on to work for The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Guardian, The I, Vice, Wired and the BBC. With a monthly print readership of 10,000 and a (rapidly expanding) termly online readership of 60,000, joining Impact is the ultimate uni opportunity if you want to stir up debate on campus and cut your teeth as an aspiring journalist.

8IFUIFS ZPV SF B GSFTIFS PS B mOBM year send an email to the section youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re interested in or email:

chief@impactnottingham.com

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Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re searching for the next generation of Impact reporters, feature writers, photographers, reviewers, publicists and models.

Over 350 students worked for Impact 2012/13.

If you want to work with us this year, get in touch.

PAUSE 38 FILM

Which college movie cliches will you experience at Notts? Plus advice from your Breaking Bad heroes

42 MUSIC

What you’ll hear in Freshers’ Week , and Nottingham’s local talent

46 ARTS

'UDZLQJ XQGHU WKH LQÁXHQFH DQG ZKDW you should make of Mills and Boon

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IMPACT 225

37

,

FILM & TV

THE INTRODUCTION TO:

COLLEGE

MOVIE CLICHES

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is done. Classes are usually spent hitting on fellow classmates, as seen in The Social Network, Loser and Slackers. Time when they should be attending class is usually spent plotting elaborate schemes to either cheat on a test, get revenge on a rival fraternity or pick up women. In reality, when you wake up for your 9am at midday, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s probably because youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re hungover.

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In the movies, where you live can make or break your reputation. In fact, your social TUBUVT GPS UIF OFYU ZFBST XJMM CF EFmOFE CZ JU (FU BDDFQUFE CZ UIF XFBMUIZ SFmOFE private school grads and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll live in luxury.

(FU SFKFDUFE BOE mOE ZPVSTFMG TUVDL XJUI B TDSBQQZ HSPVQ PG NJTmUT JO B SVO EPXO IFMM hole. Revenge of the Nerds demonstrates this well; early on the starring duo are ousted from their assigned accommodation to NBLF SPPN GPS UIF GPPUCBMM TUBST BOE mOE themselves re-assigned to a converted gym. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more likely your accommodation will fall somewhere in between; it wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be glamorous but will at least be livable.

Despite the lack of studying, no one is concerned with failure, and if the inevitable does happen, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a cause for celebration.

Van Wilder spent the seven years it took him to graduate as the most popular guy on campus. Similarly, Bluto from Animal House is in his seventh year without any intention of graduating anytime soon. It certainly looks a lot of fun in the movies, but in reality it would just be sad...and expensive.

$WWHQGLQJ /HFWXUHV In the land of college movies no one attends class, and when they do, little to no learning

Parties Parties in movies rarely resemble those of real-life; college parties are no exception.

Be it the legendary toga party from Animal House or the many shindigs thrown by Ryan Reynolds in Van Wilder, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unlikely a party will grow to such a raucous state without someone calling the police, or worse,

campus security. Also, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t expect a live band or a performance by Snoop Dogg at any of these parties, Ă la Old School.

´0DWXUHÂľ 6WXGHQWV Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unwritten rule that actors portraying college students must be in their midtwenties or older. David Carradine was 30 when he played fresher Lewis Skolnick in Revenge of the Nerds, while Jesse Eisenberg was 26 when he appeared as Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network.

So if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worried you look half a decade younger than your peers, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t panic. Check out some high school movies instead, those actors will likely be closer to your age group.

7KH /LIH &KDQJLQJ &RPSHWLWLRQ In Pitch Perfect itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a singing contest to impress a disapproving father, in Starter for 10 itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s University Challenge to impress the dream girl and in Monsters University itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the â&#x20AC;&#x153;scare gamesâ&#x20AC;? to secure a place at MU. Although not all of them successful, college movies would have us believe that winning a large competition is the most FGmDJFOU TPMVUJPO UP BOZ BOE BMM QSPCMFNT Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s understandable though; a story about a student discussing their troubles with their professor wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be much fun.

Noah Gibney and Sam Todd

38

IMPACT 225

BEST WORST MOVIES THE GREATEST IN CINEMATIC INCOMPETENCE Last month, the internet was abuzz with the BJSJOH PG NBEF GPS UFMFWJTJPO EJTBTUFS nJDL Sharknado, the latest from The Asylum, the notorious producers of such low budget knock-offs as 5SBOTNPSQIFST 'BMM PG .BO, Sunday School Musical and Paranormal Entity. Stories of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Sharknado gatheringsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; were abundant as people came together to experience the must-see television event of the year, and those without friends joined in the mocking on twitter. With this mind, Impact takes a look back at some of the greatest cinematic disasters to grace the silver screen.

The Room is arguably the most famous â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;badâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; movie of this generation. A decade ago the passion project of writer/director/star Tommy Wiseau premiered to a bewildered Los Angeles crowd, many of whom demanded a refund. Today, The Room is a cult-classic and screenings frequently sell-out. Fans are encouraged to dress as their favourite characters, throw plastic spoons at the screen and yell quotes at the appropriate times. Had it not been for the passionate

to a sequel, #JSEFNJD 5IF 3FTVSSFDUJPO. /HVZFO UPPL BMM IF MFBSOFE NBLJOH UIF mSTU BOE EJTSFHBSEFE JU NBLJOH B mMN FRVBMMZ BT BCTVSE nBXFE BOE EPXOSJHIU GVO 0UIFS classics of the genre include 1990â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Troll 2, which doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t actually feature any trolls; and .BOPT 5IF )BOET PG 'BUF B mMN TP CBE even the director acknowledged it as the XPSTU mMN FWFS NBEF

Edward D. Wood Jr., better known as &E 8PPE XBT UIF mSTU mMNNBLFS UP HBJO notoriety for his lacklustre moviemaking. In 1980 he was posthumously declared the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Worst Director of All Timeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; by critic Michael Medved, renewing interest in his work. Films such as cross-dressing docudrama Glen or Glenda, crime-thriller Jail Bait BOE IJT TDJ m magnum opus 1MBO 'SPN 0VUFS 4QBDF were embraced by a new audience for their incompetency. Wood was an unbridled optimist, oblivious to the continuity errors, stilted performances, absurd dialogue and lack of comprehension that plagued his work. Sadly, his movies were never appreciated in his own time and Wood died without a penny to his name.

fans wanting to share the experience with others, The Room would since have faded into obscurity. Wiseau has subsequently referred to it as a black comedy, but fans maintain itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a drama gone horribly wrong.

Sharktopus and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus went viral creating a new audience for the previously niche genre. Without the budget for advertising, increasingly absurd premises are relied on to gain traction. Unlike UIF PUIFS mMNT EJTDVTTFE UIFTF 57 NPWJFT are made with the expectation of low quality.

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While The Room was made for $6 million, there have been greater calamities made on a much smaller budget. In 2008, writer/ director James Nguyen made #JSEFNJD Shock And Terror for a minuscule $10,000.

Entirely self-funded, word quickly spread about this train wreck, most notably for its wooden acting (putting it mildly), atrocious effects and clumsy editing. Nguyen embraced the rise in popularity, showcasing Birdemic across the U.S. Its success led

In recent years there has been a resurgence of the made-for-TV monster movie, typically produced by and airing on SyFy. Clips showcasing the dreadful effects from the likes of 4IBSL "UUBDL .FHBMPEPO,

The love for these â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;badâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; movies goes beyond NFSFMZ QPJOUJOH PVU UIF nBXT BOE MBVHIJOH at the misfortune of those involved. Fans IBWF B HFOVJOF BQQSFDJBUJPO GPS UIFTF mMNT nBXT BOE BMM BOE BDLOPXMFEHF UIF QBTTJPO that went into making them. If movies are all about entertainment, then these are amongst the most successful movies ever made.

Sam Todd IMPACT 225

39

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FILM & TV

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM

BREAKING BAD Starting Uni can be a daunting experience, and its true that every Fresher will be faced with burning questions about attending university. Luckily for you, Walt, Jesse and Saul from hit show Breaking Bad were on hand to provide crucial DGYLFH RQ SDUW\LQJ KDUG SDVVLQJ H[DPV DQG VWXGHQW Ă&#x20AC;QDQFH

'HDU :DOWHU ,Ň&#x2039;P WHUULĂ&#x20AC;HG RI IDLOLQJ +RZ FDQ , PDNH VXUH , SDVV" :PV SF UFSSJmFE PG GBJMJOH :PV EPO U LOPX UIF NFBOJOH PG UFSSJmFE .Z GBNJMZ XJMM CF lucky if they make it to new years, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re worried about a little â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Fâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; next to your name. Get some perspective. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all scared of failing, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s what being an adult is all about. Do you think I was overjoyed when the doctor told me I had cancer? Cancer doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give you the option of failure. Kids UIFTF EBZT BSF BMM BCPVU RVJDL mYFT BOE easy solutions. The only way to succeed is by hard work. Look at Mr. Pinkman, never worked a day in his life. Well, if smoking marijuana, eating cheetos and masturbating constituted hard work, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d be freakinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Einstein. But even he surprised us, with a MJUUMF IBSE XPSL IF CFDBNF B EBNO mOF DPPL Heisenberg better watch out.

e t i h W r e t l Wa

40

IMPACT 225

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If you need to get up for a 9am or some important shit after youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been out slinging crystal all night then there are things you can do to wake yourself up. No drugs yo: XFFE IFMQT XJUI NZ OBVTFB mSTU UIJOH JO UIF morning but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not gonna help you study (plus the DEA are up everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s asses these days). First off get yourself hydrated, yo - that shit is important, like really, really important.

Water or coffee, or if that doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do it for you, get some Gatorade down yo neck.

Next, instead of cookin up some pure blue like me and Mr White, just cook up some breakfast: Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m talking sausage, egg, beans, jack some mushrooms in as well - now that shitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gonna wake you up, you follow me?

But stay away from Los Pollos Hermanos (that stuffâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bad for your heart). And there you go - full stomach sustenance yo! Now get the fuck out there, you got lessons to learn bitch!

So you want to make a little money but you want to sidestep the law? Well youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d CFUUFS DBMM 4BVMĂž 4P mSTU UIJOHT mSTU ZPV SF gonna call your mommy or your daddy or your parish priest or your boy scout leader, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re gonna deliver me a check for $2650.00. Actually, ah, I want it in a money order and make it out to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ice Station Zebra Associates.â&#x20AC;? Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s my loan out. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s totally legit... itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s for tax purposes. After that we can EJTDVTT 7JTB PS .BTUFSDBSE CVU EFmOJUFMZ not American Express, so donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even ask, alright? Okay so the plan is to sue the University for work stress, so any emotional trauma youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re experiencing right now, I want you to play it up a bit, maybe rub something in your eyes to emphasise lack of sleep?

Remember, if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re committed enough, you can make any story work. I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it. See you in court!

Jesse Pin kman

Saul Goodman

CLARK VS. STARK

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0DQ RI 6WHHO Whilst the everyday relationship between steel and iron is one of perpetual chemistry, 2013 saw these allies turn to foes as DCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Man of Steel battled Marvelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Iron Man 3 for the crown of summerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s greatest superhero.

Visually, audibly and thematically, Zack Snyderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Superman destroys Shane Blackâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Iron Man. Perhaps Tony Stark should have remained in the wormhole if the disappointing third outing was all that was waiting for him back on earth.

What made Man of Steel more than just summer entertainment? Snyder & Co. approached the character with great delicacy. Exploring Clark Kentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s anguish in his search for his true identity, both KalEl and the hero he must become. Hans Zimmerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s score instilled the character with great emotional strength which awarded him purpose, personality, and power beyond imagination.

Man of Steel further upholds itself as one PG UIF HSFBUFTU TVQFSIFSP mMNT PG BMM UJNF with action sequences out of this world, TPNFUJNFT MJUFSBMMZ nZJOH CFZPOE HBMBYJFT while Iron Man 3 is struggling to catch up in the stratosphere. Man of Steel is more than just a great summer movie, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s great cinematic entertainment.

Bharat Samra

BEST OF SUMMER Now You See Me A twisting thriller that will keep you guessing VOUJM UIF mOBM BDU *U NBZ UBLF B GFX OPUFT GSPN The Prestige, but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a bad thing.

,URQ 0DQ Iron Man 3 SFBGmSNT .BSWFM T QPTJUJPO BT B major player in the blockbuster arena. The already impressive ensemble is enhanced with the addition of Sir Ben Kingsley and Guy Pearce. Marvel have allowed director Shane Black to imprint his trademark style on the universe, ensuring a fresh perspective for the third outing for the Armoured Avenger.

Iron Man 3 works for a variety of reasons: itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an engaging concoction of action, comedy and thrills. In consonance with all Marvel 4UVEJPT QSPEVDUJPOT UIF mMN JT QBSU PG B larger storytelling scheme, creating more intrigue and the sense of a scope the likes of which Man of Steel fails to match.

Despite its stellar casting credentials and visuals, the lacklustre writing in Man of Steel gives rise to a convoluted plot. The non-linear delineation of the protagonistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s upbringing is one such instance. The movie is also devoid of any palpable character development. The hollow connection established between Lois and Clark, as opposed to a tangible romance, is a prime FYBNQMF PG QPPS XSJUJOH 0O UIF nJQTJEF Iron Man 3relies heavily on the chemistry of its lead pair, Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Iron Man 3 works so well because the makers were willing to deliver a modern take on a familiar character. While a reality based approach may have worked wonders for The Dark Knight, it didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the desired effect on Superman.

Ibrahim Rizwan Image by A-Rob

chapter of the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Cornetto Trilogyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, not their mOFTU CVU DFSUBJOMZ UIF GVOOJFTU mMN PG UIF summer.

7KLV ,V 7KH (QG Seth Rogen and co. battle to survive the apocalypse. Outrageous and irreverent, featuring a whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s who of American comedy talent.

7KH :ROYHULQH Innovative set-pieces and a straightforward QMPU NBLF GPS UIF mOFTU TVQFSIFSP nJDL PG UIF summer. Hugh Jackman once again excels BT UIF nBXFE IFSP

World War Z The zombie outbreak on a scale youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve never imagined. A gripping thriller with a blistering pace, the perfect blend of horror and action.

3DFLĂ&#x20AC;F 5LP Del Toroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ode to the Japanese creature feature. Epic in scope and brimming with creativity making for the perfect summer crowd pleaser.

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IMPACT 225

41

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7

MUSIC

Days  Of  Freshersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Week

:KHWKHU \RXŇ&#x2039;UH VWXPEOLQJ WKURXJK 2FHDQD 2FHDQ RU 5HVFXH 5RRPV Impact Music are KHUH WR KHOS \RX JHW WR JULSV ZLWK WKH VRXQGWUDFN RI \RXU )UHVKHU H[SHULHQFH

 Tuesday

Daft Punk Get Lucky

Avicii Wake Me Up

Wednesday

 Thursday

 Friday

One Direction Nicki Minaj Icona Pop Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s What Makes Starships I Love It You Beautiful Unless you decided Aviciiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s collaboration Nicki Minaj plays We love it. to cut off all with Aloe Blacc has Since being a similar role to electricity between been the biggest released in 2011, the 1D boys, and exam period and competition to Daft Nottingham DJâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s with this single results, you are Punkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s extraordinary have had it on their she has become a unlikely to have comeback. Staying most-loved list, and household favourite missed the return at the top of the played it more than on the Nottingham of Daft Punk. Their charts for three you can imagine. decks. Although far collaboration with weeks, and selling Whether you like the from new, prepare Pharell has been PWFS mWF IVOESFE X Factor band or to squeal along to undoubtedly the thousand copies, it not, these lyrics are the unnaturally high most popular song is safe to say you will annoyingly catchy chorus. of 2013. be hearing this. so youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be singing along every time.

ACOUSTIC ROOMS On Monday nights, in the small, comfortable Rescue Rooms bar, the best BDPVTUJD BDUT JO /PUUJOHIBN UBLF UIFJS mSTU steps in the world of music.

It is here that Jake Bugg, Nottinghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favourite son, learnt his trade, before going on to attack the rest of the UK, resulting in his recent number one album. As the whispers grew louder and louder across the city, Acoustic Rooms became as busy BOE BT QPQVMBS BT UIF APGmDJBM HJHT OFYU EPPS XJUI QFPQMF nPDLJOH UP TFF UIF A#PC Dylan of the East Midlandsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

In terms of the next batch of musicians to graduate from the Acoustic Rooms school, Georgie Rose is the next to break through.

Progressing from solo singer-songwriter to now playing with a full band, Georgie Rose always silences the Acoustic Rooms crowd when she plays.

Solo pianist, Rosanna Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Brien, has also been making waves, along with jazzinspired funk band, Cheshire And The Cat. 16 year old Frankie Rudolf also looks set to have a bright future with his intelligent singer-songwriting.

Sadly, attendance has waned over the past months, but with the Nottingham music scene truly buzzing, it is just a matter of time before the next Bugg emerges. Make sure youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re there when Acoustic Rooms next falls silent.

Alex Neely 42

IMPACT 225

Impact ,QWURGXFLQJ They Say Fall

They Say Fall are a rock/post-hardcore band from Gainsborough Lincolnshire, who have spent the past year recording their new E.P Enigma. Impact Music spoke to Brad, Kehn and Kyle from the band about what they were planning for the future, the making of the E.P and their overall hopes for the band. ,I \RX KDG WR GHVFULEH 7KH\ 6D\ )DOO LQ IRXU ZRUGV ZKDW ZRXOG \RX VD\" %UDG Loud, honest, different and energetic. :KDW ZDV \RXU KLJKOLJKW RI " B: Honestly, it was starting to record the new record. We started at the end of UIF ZFBS BOE mOJTIFE GPVS NPOUIT BHP It was just the start of an experience with a guy called Kevin Peters who we are now good friends with. He is phenomenal as a person and a QSPEVDFS 5IBU XBT EFmOJUFMZ UIF CFTU achievement.

Saturday

 Sunday

Psy Gangnam Style

The Neighbourhood Sweater Weather

This song is like Marmite, only itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no Icona Pop tune. You may dislike it now, but after a week of shots and shooters, you will be dancing along.

Grab your sunglasses and perfect your pony.

This song has been a hit in America, and if you havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t heard it, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one to check out. Head along to Rescue Rooms if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re looking for more Indie/ Alternative hits like this.

:KDW ZDV WKH KDUGHVW SDUW RI " B: Not gigging probably, just so we could focus on new material! :KDW FDQ ZH H[SHFW IURP D QHZ release?

B: The new E.P is a wide array of sounds and styles, but it still works as POF PWFSBMM SFDPSE &BDI USBDL mUT TP well together but they are still unique.

They blend so well even lyrically, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BMNPTU MJLF B TUPSZ /BVTFB XIFO * mSTU joined the band is so different to where we are now; we have got to the point where we have achieved what we want, we know how to work together well now.

We get to play what we want to play which is great.

0DLQ LQVSLUDWLRQV" B: Finch, The Dillenger Escape Plan, Glassjaw and Deftones. :KDWŇ&#x2039;V QH[W IRU 7KH\ 6D\ )DOO" .HKQ: Well after the release of the E.P we will be gigging a lot, just trying to get out there again, work with different companies, sort management and make friends again to platform us to where we want to go next. We are supporting Madina Lake, which is weird CFDBVTF * TBX UIFN PO UIFJS WFSZ mSTU tour and now weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re supporting on their mOBM UPVSĂž )LQDO :RUGV" K: Freshers - work hard, but party harder...

They Say Fallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new E.P Enigma, is out now.

Daniel Jones

Daniel Jones

  Monday

NOTTINGHAM VENUES

A guide to Nottingham’s four biggest music venues

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Rock City

Rescue Rooms

Bodega

The Capital FM Arena plays host to the most mainstream gigs in the city, with past guests including Girls Aloud, Justin Timberlake and even musical icons Radiohead. It is quite comfortably the largest venue in the city, boasting a 10,000 person capacity, as well as being the home of the National Ice Centre, although we don’t recommend singing along to ‘Creep’ and ice skating simultaneously.

Unfortunately celebrated by most students only for its Wednesday club night, ‘Crisis’, Rock City is also one of the most well-known and well-respected music venues in the country. It’s big enough to get lost in the crowd, with a capacity of 2450, but small enough to remain intimate and credible. NME recently described it as ‘sweaty, but truly indie’, which is about as accurate as it gets.

If a band’s too big for The Bodega but not quite big enough for Rock City, they’ll be jamming at The Rescue 3PPNT XIJDI mOET JUTFMG adjoined to the latter. The venue boasts an appealing bar with comfortable seats and cocktails served from teapots.

In the heart of Hockley, just down from Market Square, stands the trendy Bodega Social Club. It hosts the best bands on the cusp of breaking through, with recent guests including Savages, Palma Violets and The Strypes.

Since opening in 2000, the Arena has hosted over a thousand gigs and doesn’t look in any danger of slowing down. Before Christmas, the likes of Paramore, Stereophonics and Sigur Ros will arrive at the Arena, along with a whole host of comedians, circuses and dance acts. Be aware that purchasing tickets in advance is very much necessary as it has a tendency to sell out.

Check their online listings nice and early.

In the past, Rock City has hosted the likes of David Bowie, The Chemical Brothers and Oasis. And the big names just keep coming, with Johnny Marr, The Boomtown Rats and Tom Odell all set to play this autumn.

A truly great venue for live music, if only for the double pint glasses on offer at the bar.

A wide range of unmissable acts are coming to The Rescue Rooms this autumn. If you’re looking for a lively gig, Jagwar Ma will be bringing their brand of psychedelic rock on the 20th October. Alternatively, the performance-art Public Service Broadcasting will be playing on the 13th November, whilst on the 30th November, Neville Staple (from The Specials) will be providing a little nostalgia.

Always attracting an interesting crowd and hosting some of the best up and coming acts in the country, Rescue Rooms should be a regular on your gig calendar.

Before 9pm, the Bodega’s happy hour at the downstairs bar (don’t go upstairs for cheap drinks), allows for excellent student pre-gig drinking opportunities. The Bodega outdoor patio area is sublime, allowing you smoke, chat with your mates, and feast on the Bodega BBQ. You will also be given free entry to the club post-gigs, meaning you can smoke, chat and feast for a little longer.

With a capacity of only 250 people, the Bodega sees incredibly intimate and sweat-laden atmospheres.

Experience it for yourself when the likes of Drenge, Temples and Ghostpoet play this autumn.

Alex Neely, Ian Fillingham, James Mason, Kamiah Overaa

www.impactnottingham.com/music

IMPACT 225

43

,

MUSIC

‘FAKE’ FESTIVALS AND THE BANDS MIRRORING THEIR HEROES “We’ve played in countries the real thing have never been to!” proudly DMBJNT 4IBOF $SPGUT IBWJOH KVTU mOJTIFE a gig at London’s The Venue. The coarse, yet somehow quaint, nightclub has a history as a hotbed for Indie Rock in the 1990s, having played host to the likes of Oasis, Suede and Blur. But now, as suggested by billboards outside plastered with names of The Rollin Stoned, Antarctic Monkeys and The Killerz, the days of Britpop have given way to an altogether different music scene.

Shane Crofts is the lead singer of Coldplace, a Coldplay tribute band who, since forming in 2005, have toured places as far and wide as Cyprus and the Dominican Republic. It is in such countries that tribute bands are in particular demand; too small to attract the genuine article, but large enough to have dedicated fan-bases desperate to hear the music of their favourites performed live.

“Sound is the most important thing” says Shane. “People expect you to play the end of ‘Fix You’ correctly”. But that his band comes equipped with props, lasers and 44

IMPACT 225

painted instruments suggests all parts of the puzzle need to be in the right place.

‘Fake’ bands also appear to be an ever growing industry back home in the UK, however these are no longer simply Beatles enthusiasts stringing together the chords of ‘Hey Jude’ in the corner of a pub. Or the questionable Elvis Presley imitator spoiling the ambience of a Chinese restaurant. These musicians have devoted serious time and money into GPSNJOH B QSPEVDU BT DMPTFMZ SFnFDUJWF PG the original as possible.

One person who can speak with authority on the matter is Jez Lee - the Michael Eavis of the tribute – who, in 2005, founded Fake Festivals. Originally a oneoff event, the company now holds around twenty small festivals a year dedicated solely to tribute acts. “The bands have to do everything down to the nitty gritty” he insists. “There’s always those who are top of the game, and then others trying to cash in a cheap buck. The best are taking it extremely seriously, spending time and money recreating the exact look and feel”.

Lee is unequivocal on the appeal of tribute bands: “They’re fantastic musicians, who allow fans to get closer to the action than the real deal”. Fake Festivals now acts as a franchise, licensing out to locals looking to bring the event to their hometowns.

There are plans to grow year on year, targeting forty festivals by 2015.

Despite this exponential growth, Fake Festivals are not quite the peak of the tribute band mountain. At dizzying heights stand the Australian Pink Floyd Show, the ‘best tribute band in the world’ (Sunday Times). Replicating Pink Floyd in sound and appearance and scale, they have NBOBHFE UP mMM PVU BSFOBT BDSPTT UIF globe, including Nottingham’s Capital FM Arena in February.

But they are the exception to the rule; most tribute bands realise that not being ‘the real thing’ comes with limitations. “It must be the best feeling in the world to have a crowd sing your songs back to you,” dreams Shane Crofts. For now, he will have to sing someone else’s lyrics to thousands around the world. Well, if you can’t beat them, why not join them?

Robert Smith

NOTTINGHAMS finest Impact introduces six artists to emerge from Nottinghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s buzzing music scene

Georgie Rose Georgie Rose is Nottinghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s female response to Jake Bugg. Georgie brings an upbeat feel to this Nottingham line up, with her soft voice ironically powering through well constructed lyrics alongside her guitar. She has produced music that has appeared as XFMâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s single of the week, and has been backed by Billy Bragg and KT Tunstall.

It has been said that fans of KT Tunstall would love Georgieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s style, the similarities are obvious to see and this year, at Nottinghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very own Splendour festival, the two were on the same line up. Whether you are listening whilst you work, or chilling in the sun, Rose is undoubtedly a great choice, and one to look out for in the future.

Jake Bugg Bugg is our poster-boy, and if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re embracing Nottinghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thriving music scene, you should probably at least give him a nod.

When his debut album hit number one in the charts last year, the city was given some solid evidence that it was musical.

If you were arguing with your friend about whose university had a better music scene, you no longer had to rely on acts you were convinced were about to make a break-through; you could simply invite them to look at the album charts and see Jakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (slightly gloomy) face sat at number one.

Kagoule %FTQJUF SFDFOUMZ mOJTIJOH TDIPPM Kagoule are already making a name for themselves with their take on 90s grunge and melodic, downbeat post-punk. 2013 has seen the band release their debut single, Monarchy, on Nottinghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very own Denizen Recordings. They have also played shows with the likes of Dog Is Dead, Drenge and Temples and impressed the audience at Nottinghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Splendour Festival.

Dog Is Dead %PH JT %FBE BSF nZJOH UIF /PUUJOHIBN nBH IJHI PO UIF NVTJD TDFOF 5IF mWF piece band from West Bridgeford broke into the limelight with a place on the BBC Introducing Glastonbury stage in 2010.

Since then they havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stopped touring, and at the end of 2010 released their debut-album, All Our Favourite Stories.

Although only a trio, they make a considerable amount of noise. Cai, lead singer and guitarist, croons tenderly and plays loudly, while Lucyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s basslines are the drive behind the songs. Both combine with Lawrenceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crashing drums to produce music obviously inspired by the work of The Smashing Pumpkins and Fugazi; and they do the 90s better than anyone else at the moment.

If the album lacked anything in the views of the critics, it was dispelled by popular culture. The Nottingham lads saw their â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Glockenspiel Songâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; feature in an episode of Skins, and â&#x20AC;&#x2122;Heal Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; was used in Sky Sportsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Champions League coverage.

Further music has been aired on Made In Chelsea, and The Only Way Is Essex, though many are still unsure whether association with either of these shows can be construed as positive at all.

London Grammar

Ady Suleiman

After the initial meeting between Hannah Reid and Dan Rothman in the University of Nottinghamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very own halls of residence, London Grammar have provided the UK with a top 40 single in â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Wasting My Young Yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; as well as collaborating with Disclosure on their album Settle.

Ady Suleimanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unique and soulful voice is something not to be missed. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been building up a fan base since he wowed crowds on the BBC Introducing Stage at this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Glastonbury Festival, performing acoustic tracks such as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Need Someone To Loveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;State of Mindâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

This summer provided the band with a highly active festival season, playing at Wilderness and Bestival, as well as announcing a UK tour, which will see the band return to Nottingham in October.

Critics have compared his lyrics to that of "NZ 8JOFIPVTF XJUI JOnVFODFT DSFFQJOH into his vocals and melodies from Ray Charles, Lauryn Hill and B.B. King. Ady Suleiman is a name to watch out for over the next year, as heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bound to start making heads turn.

Alez Neely, Dan Jones, James Mason, Kamiah Overaa

www.impactnottingham.com/music

IMPACT 225 224

45 55

,

ARTS

5HDOLW\ RU 5RPDQFH 0LOOV %RRQ /DLG %DUH â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Mills and Boonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; has become a buzzword for a trashy genre of romance, featuring victimised virgins, lusty lords and inevitably cringing sex-scenes. Besides from being such a colourful adjective, Mills & Boon is in fact a global publishing company, founded in 1908 by Gerald Mills and Charles Boon, specialising in SPNBOUJD mDUJPO

& Boon author Sharon Kendrick admits, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Everyone knows the hero and heroine are going to end up married.â&#x20AC;? Penny Jordan, writer of more than 170 Mills and Boon novels, says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Every genre has its own little rules.â&#x20AC;? These novels clearly have a EFmOJUF FOEHBNF JO NJOE IBQQJOFTT BOE satisfaction; something real life is never duty bound to offer.

Mills & Boon romance has been spread into various subgenres including Historical BOE .FEJDBM o XIFSF ZPV NBZ mOE UJUMFT like â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Beauty and the Baronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Deborah Hale) and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Safe in His Handsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Amy Ruttan) â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and Romance Suspense, like â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Operation Blind Dateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Justine Davis), or other titles including â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Very Personal Assistantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Portia Da Costa).

The effects of these sugar-coated SFBMJUJFT IBWF CFFO JEFOUJmFE CZ TPNF as decidedly negative and potentially unhealthy. After a survey in 2011 showed that only 11.5% of romantic novels mention condom use, psychologist Susan Quilliam concluded that there was a â&#x20AC;&#x153;clear correlationâ&#x20AC;? between romance reading and a negative attitude towards condoms resulting in unsafe sex. Whether this hypothesis is true will require more detailed and rigorous research.

According to company statistics, a Mills & Boon book is sold every three seconds. Since the launch of Mills & Boonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ebook programme in September 2008, the publishers have been releasing approximately 100 ebooks a month; more than it does in print. With the possibility of awkward glances on the bus evicted, it is no wonder the ebook programme has been a staggering success.

Flicking through the pages of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Captivated by her Innocenceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Kim Lawrence) or â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The Mistressâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (Tiffany Reisz) it is uncertain whether romance is anything akin to real life, despite the company strapline, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Bring Romance to Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. Although Mills & Boon claim â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;there is no formulaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, Mills 46

IMPACT 225

Clearly the opposing argument to this is that readers should be aware that the book world is structurally separate from reality; perfect sex in a book, like in a Hollywood movie, is idealized. However a lack of age restriction on literature paves the way for less sexually educated readers; who may take the fabricated plots of Mills & Boon as their basis for understanding sex and relationships.

It is also undeniable that Mills & Boon produce notably one sided depictions of male and female gender roles.

Firstly, characters in their romances are predominantly heterosexual, alienating

B TJHOJmDBOU QPSUJPO PG UIF QPQVMBUJPO In terms of gender stereotypes it is the male characters who suffer most; they are the ultimate objective of the novel.

Mills & Boon favor the Alpha Male: â&#x20AC;&#x153;He takes control and drives the story; he has the power to make things happen! He is the key driver of the romance â&#x20AC;&#x201C; he is the aspiration of the storyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heroine (and the reader)â&#x20AC;Ś remember that he is the man whom every woman wantsâ&#x20AC;?. Penny Joran, in her interview with the Guardian, bluntly stated, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want a short fat balding heroâ&#x20AC;?. So are Mills & Boon SFnFDUJOH PVS JEFB PG UIF JEFBM NBMF PS BSF they giving us a stereotype which we must conform to?

Yet we must keep the purpose of these romantic novels in sight: to entertain.

Reading trashy romance is just like watching bad soaps on TV â&#x20AC;&#x201C; easy entertainment. We could say that the issues of fantasy and a lack of realism could be projected on to any work of romantic literature, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Pride and Prejudiceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; or â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Jane Eyreâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;; the soaps of the 19th Century?

At the end of the day, curling up with an easy read and a cup of tea, blocking out the cynicism of the world, could be the perfect way to relax: at least you can be certain of a happy endingâ&#x20AC;Ś and a giggly sex scene to read aloud.

Eve Wersocki Morris

WritingundertheInfluence 'UXJV $OFRKRO DQG FUHDWLYLW\ Impact Arts JHW GUXQN SHRSOH WR GRRGOH It is no secret that throughout history many creative people, including artists, writers, musicians and dancers, have relied upon various narcotics and stimulants to aid them in their creative processes.

Substances have fuelled work such as Robert Louis Stevensonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s famous novel Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, which was written during a six day cocaine binge, and the poem Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, written after an opium induced dream. Similarly, 21st century award winning novelist Stephen King, XSJUFS PG UIF IPSSPS mMN The Shining and a series of crime thrillers, openly admitted in The Observer that stimulants aided the invention of his psychotic and emotionally unstable characters.

It is therefore not surprising to hear that SFDFOUMZ TDJFODF IBT DPOmSNFE UIBU BO altered state of consciousness, whether induced by drugs, alcohol, sleepiness or anything else that removes us from our usual way of thinking, does indeed improve creative thought. A recent study published in Consciousness and Cognition, explored the effect of moderate drunkenness on peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ability to DPNQMFUF B TFSJFT PG DSFBUJWF UFTUT mOEJOH that being tipsy improved peoples creative performance by about 30%. Although this does not mean that all your drunken ideas in Ocean are genius, it could suggest that a cheeky jagerbomb might actually help HFU UIPTF DSFBUJWF KVJDFT nPXJOH XJUI UIBU looming deadlineâ&#x20AC;Ś Both alcohol and narcotics are a major part of university life for many students, with more than 54% admitting to taking illegal drugs while at university in the recent University Drug Culture Survey.

Although it is well known that students often rely on narcotics for recreational purposes, Impact Arts decided to talk to students about using stimulants to assist creatively with their working life.

One student, James*, an undergraduate studying German, admitted to Impact that he uses cannabis when writing essays; â&#x20AC;&#x153;It relaxes me and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry about every word I write. It also makes reading more interestingâ&#x20AC;?.

www.impactnottingham.com/arts

However, not all students feel the same.

Tom, an English and Creative Writing undergrad, told ,PSDFW about his experience trying to write poetry whilst high; â&#x20AC;&#x153;I spent 40 minutes composing a poem, and woke up in the morning and it looked like a spider had shat on the page. It was 6 lines of rambling shit. It was beautiful at the timeâ&#x20AC;?.

Similarly, Ben, an undergraduate History Student, told Impact Arts that despite taking drugs for both recreational purposes and to help him creatively with his music, he always works sober: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have never used drugs to help me with my degree, although I do use them on occasion to help make music. I do however know people who use stimulants and amphetamines regularly to help them with their uni work.â&#x20AC;?

So, do drugs really help make us more creative? Impact Arts, for the sake of accurate student journalism, spent the summer delving into some typical student partying locations to talk to people in various states of intoxication, judging how creative they really were. Because enticing a sonnet from a group of drunk students proved challenging, we used UIF AJODPNQMFUF mHVSF DIBMMFOHF B UFTU developed by psychologist Ellis Paul Torrance as a way to identify somebodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;creative IQâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, asking participants to test their creative prowess by making an abstract image into a complete picture.

In simpler terms, we made drunk people doodle.

Judge for yourself how creative the drawings really are, but the inconclusive nature of the results highlights the problem with attempting to determine whether any actual relationship between intoxication and creativity exists. The way people react to toxic substances varies from individual to individual, and despite evidence suggesting that mild drunkenness improves insightful and imaginative thought, any further level of intoxication does the exact opposite. Both people and drugs are unpredictable, and although narcotics are responsible for the success of many great authors, they are also nearly always the cause of their creative destruction.

Alice Child *names have been changed

Drunk art gallery â&#x20AC;&#x153;Being tipsy improved peoples creative performance by about 30%â&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I know people who use stimulants and amphetamines regularly to help them with their uni workâ&#x20AC;?

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47

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SPORT

OBSCURE SPORTS QUARTERLY An introduction to strange sports at The University of Nottingham

By John Mastrini

Ultimate Frisbee

Korfball

Basic rules

» 7v7 » Field is similar in size to a football pitch with the last 18 metres at either end of UIF mFME BT AFOE[POFT » A goal is scored when you throw the disc to a member of your team in the endzone your team is attacking » Players cannot run with the disc » When a player catches the disc they must come to a stop, so a team can UIFSFGPSF POMZ NPWF UIF EJTD VQmFME CZ throwing it from player to player » Defending team takes possession if the disc touches the ground or if they make an interception by catching the disc or LOPDLJOH JU UP UIF HSPVOE JO NJEonJHIU » Non-contact — when contact between players does occur, it may be deemed a foul » First team to reach a previously decided number of goals, typically 15 or 17, wins

.H\ VNLOOV QHFHVVDU\

» Hand-eye coordination for catching and throwing » Speed » Agility

+RZ WR JHW LQYROYHG

» Freshers’ Fair » Training: Thursday 6:30pm until dark (grass outside Willoughby Hall). Friday 5pm-7pm (University Park Sports Centre) » Facebook: Fling - University of Nottingham Ultimate » Email: ppylr1@nottingham.ac.uk

Pro to watch

» Brodie Smith, player for the Indianapolis Alleycats. Two-time National Champion

5DWLQJV Fitness: 7/10 Chance of injury: 4/10 Fun: 8/10

50

IMPACT 225

Baseball Basic rules

Basic rules

» Similar to netball and basketball » 8 v 8 mixed-gender - 4 male and 4 female players per team » Able to score long-distance shots into a hoop - or ‘korf’ - as well as layup shots inside the arc after a give-and-go » Can only defend attackers of the same gender » Court consists of 2 large squares joined along the centre line, each square with a korf set in one third from the back line » 2 male and 2 female players in each section » A section starts the game in attack, the other in defence. Sections swap roles after 2 goals have been scored

.H\ VNLOOV QHFHVVDU\

» Hand-eye coordination for catching and passing » Arm strength and accuracy for shooting » Vertical jump and agility for rebounding

» W QJUDIFS DBUDIFS JOmFMEFST PVUmFMEFST JOOJOHT PG PVUT XJUI FBDI UFBN CBUUJOH BOE mFMEJOH » Team that scores the most runs wins » Players take turns going up to home plate to try to hit a baseball thrown from QJUDIFS CFUXFFO mSTU BOE UIJSE CBTF MJOFT » Pitcher throws ball over home plate and between the height of the batter’s knees and shoulders. If ball crosses this area and is not hit, it is a strike. If it does not cross this area, it is ball. If batter swings and misses, it is a strike » “3 strikes, you’re out” » If a pitcher throws 4 balls before a batter hits the ball or gets 3 strikes, the batter BVUPNBUJDBMMZ HFUT UP HP UP mSTU CBTF (‘walk’) » Batters must touch all three bases on their way to touching home plate. If a ball is caught, or a player is tagged between bases, they are out » If a batter makes it all the way around to home plate, the team scores a run » After 3 outs, half of the inning is over, and the teams switch positions. After both teams have had a chance to bat, an inning is completed

.H\ VNLOOV QHFHVVDU\

+RZ WR JHW LQYROYHG

» Hand-eye coordination » Arm strength and accuracy for batting and throwing » 4QFFE BOE BHJMJUZ GPS mFMEJOH BOE running bases

Pro to watch

» Freshers’ Fair stall » Training: University Park Sports Centre Wednesdays 9pm-10:30pm » Facebook: University of Nottingham Baseball » Email: lgyes2@nottingham.ac.uk

» Freshers’ Fair » Training: University Park Sports Centre - Monday & Tuesday 9pm-10:30pm.

Wednesday 5pm-7pm » Email: nottinghamunikorfball@ googlemail.com » Mick Snel, player for Netherlands & TOP. Dutch Korfballeague Champion

5DWLQJV Fitness: 7/10 Chance of injury: 2/10 Fun: 6/10

+RZ WR JHW LQYROYHG

Pro to watch

» Miguel Cabrera, Third Baseman for Detroit Tigers. World Series Champion, MVP and Triple Crown winner

5DWLQJV Fitness: 4/10 Chance of injury: 8/10 Fun: 7/10

Futsal

American Football

Dodgeball

Basic rules

Âť 11 v 11, 4 quarters of 15 minutes

Âť Âť Âť

Basic rules

Âť Similar to football Âť 5 v 5, two halves of 20 minutes Âť Played indoors with a smaller, heavier ball Âť Smaller pitch with smaller square goals Âť No offside rule Âť Kick-ins instead of thrown-ins Âť 4-second rule for restarts Âť A clock that stops, with timeouts

.H\ VNLOOV QHFHVVDU\

Âť Âť Âť Âť Âť Âť

Foot-eye coordination Touch Kicking accuracy Stamina Agility Hand-eye coordination for goalkeepers

+RZ WR JHW LQYROYHG

Âť Freshersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Fair Âť Training: Twice a week TBA (University Park Sports Centre) Âť Email: uonfutsal@gmail.com Âť Facebook: facebook.com/NottsFutsal Âť Twitter: @UoNFutsal Âť YouTube: youtube.com/UoNFutsal

Pro to watch

 Falcão, forward for Brazil & Intelli Orlândia. World Cup champion, Player of the World (not to be confused with the Colombia & Monaco striker)

5DWLQJV Fitness: 9/10 Chance of injury: 6/10 Fun: 8/10

Âť

Âť

6 points for a touchdown, 1 point for a conversion kick after a touchdown, 3 QPJOUT GPS B mFME HPBM Ball more pointed and aerodynamic than a rugby ball for long-distance passes Objective for team to get ball into 10ZBSE BSFB AFOE[POF PG B ZBSE mFME Offence has four attempts (â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;downsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;) to advance the ball 10 yards, earning a fresh set of four if successful Ball is moved either by quarterback throwing to a receiver or the running back carrying the ball, with a play ending when an unsuccessful pass hits the ground/ball-carrier is tackled After a touchdown is scored, kicker makes a short-range attempt for an extra point. During the game, the team can choose to use a down for a 3-point LJDLFE mFME HPBM

.H\ VNLOOV QHFHVVDU\

Âť Brute strength (offensive and defensive linemen) Âť Agility and upper body strength (linebackers) Âť Speed, balance and hand-eye coordination (wide receivers, cornerbacks, safeties) Âť Explosive speed and power (running backs) Âť Throwing strength and accuracy, agility, intelligence, leadership (quarterbacks)

+RZ WR JHW LQYROYHG

Âť Freshersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Fair stall Âť Training: University Park Sports Centre .POEBZ QN QN mMN SFWJFX 5VFTEBZ 8:30pm-10pm, Thursday 8:30pm-10pm, Sunday 9am-12pm

Pro to watch

Âť Peyton Manning, Quarterback for Denver Broncos. Super Bowl Champion and four-time NFL MVP

5DWLQJV Fitness: 8/10 Chance of injury: 9/10 Fun: 7/10

www.impactnottingham.com/sport

Basic rules

Âť 6 v 6, court divided by centre line Âť Aim to eliminate opponents by throwing BO JOnBUFE SVCCFS CBMM BHBJOTU UIFJS CPEZ without bouncing Âť The latter also brings an eliminated teammate back into the game Âť The team that eliminates all opponents wins

.H\ VNLOOV QHFHVVDU\

Âť Arm strength and accuracy for throwing Âť Hand-eye coordination for catching Âť "HJMJUZ BOE nFYJCJMJUZ GPS EPEHJOH UISPXO balls Âť Or, as Patches Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Houlihan advises, the 5 Ds of Dodgeball: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge

+RZ WR JHW LQYROYHG

Âť Freshersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Fair Âť Training: Tuesday 5pm-6pm (Jubilee Sports Centre). Thursday 5pm-6pm (nu2sport - University Park Sports Centre). Thursday 6pm-7:30pm (University Park Sports Centre). Saturday 3pm-5pm (Jubilee Sports Centre) Âť Facebook: facebook.com/ ballsofsteeldodge Âť Twitter: @UoNdodge Âť Email: dodgesoc@gmail.com Âť Youtube: youtube.com/ballsofsteeldodge

Pro to watch

Âť Colin Governski, player for the San %JFHP $SPTTmSF /BUJPOBM %PEHFCBMM League Champion

5DWLQJV Fitness: 6/10 Chance of injury: 5/10 Fun: 9/10

IMPACT 225

51

SPORT

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on your doorstep?

Trent Bridge

this issue...

,Q WKH Ă&#x20AC;UVW RI D UHJXODU VHULHV H[SORULQJ WKH VSRUWLQJ OLIH RI 1RWWLQJKDP Jono Hoyer discovers the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s premier cricket venue.

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On Offer?

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not going to begin to claim to be a massive cricket fan, nor do I know a great deal about the sport, so I was slightly apprehensive prior to attending Trent #SJEHF GPS UIF mSTU UJNF 5P CF IPOFTU NZ initial expectation of a cricket match was a group of old men sat reading newspapers applauding every time a boundary was hit.

In fact, it came as something of a shock to see such a diverse group of people all completely immersed in the game.

Head of Marketing and Communications, Michael Temple attributed this to the clubâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;underlying commitment towards even those who are not hard-core cricket fansâ&#x20AC;?, stating that there was â&#x20AC;&#x153;something GPS FWFSZCPEZ w 5IJT TFFNT UP CF SFnFDUFE through the enthusiasm of a wide crosssection of fans and the near-comical chart music after every over or six, which goes towards making it a lighter hearted affair.

Furthermore, the stewards and staff provide a brilliant level of hospitality 52

IMPACT 225

which goes towards explaining how the ground has achieved the Best Spectator Experience award for the past 5 years!

When youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re lucky enough to have the elusive British sun beating down on you, with the speed and excitement of the game of T20 youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in for a sporting treat.

Cost?

So, here come the two big questions as a student. How much will a pint and a ticket set you back? Surprisingly little! In fact, if you were to go and see an international match, such as the Ashes, and are lucky enough to be under 21, you can get a ticket for around ÂŁ20 (subject to change) which is a whopping ÂŁ60 saving. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have to wait until 2015 before it makes its return to Trent Bridge though Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m afraid.

A pint is roughly ÂŁ3.60 and a burger ÂŁ3.50 which isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t going to break the bank either.

Alternatively, a standard season ticket as a student (which allows you to watch all domestic games and enter the Pavilion where the players walk out of prior to match day) is a mere ÂŁ34. That could be as little as forgoing a night out a week.

The ability to walk around the Pavilion and bump into the likes of England stars Stuart Broad, James Taylor and Alex Hales all prior to the match is also something of a treat. In fact, we were lucky enough to be stood in the tunnel with the teams prior to the match, a moment which will certainly

stay in my memory.

Travel?

The only downside to the whole experience could be getting there. Be aware that parking can be a nightmare and the walk is a trek! A useful tip would be to get a number 36, y36 or 24 bus (there are several others) to the bus station and either catch another short bus journey to the ground or take a 25 minute walk past some of the other great sporting venues in the city.

So what can Trent Bridge offer you?

Well... The cheapest student tickets of any cricket ground in Englandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s top league, a brilliant spectator experience and one of the best days out for you and your mates that Nottingham has to offer. Need I say more?

THEREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S A GOOD SPORT Our contributors look back on some of their favourite sporting moments of the summer so farâ&#x20AC;Ś

Ashton Agar scores an Ashes 98 "TIUPO "HBS T mSTU CPVOEBSZ JO UFTU cricket was a beautiful straight drive over the head of Jimmy Anderson, Englandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s strike bowler. A number eleven having his fun, we all thought. Then he reached 30. This guy can play, we all thought. Yet the situation never got to the 19-year-old GSPN .FMCPVSOF XIP CFDBNF UIF mSTU test debutant to score a half-century from number eleven. When he passed the previous best test score for the QPTJUJPO IF XBT mWF SVOT BXBZ GSPN BO historic century, and with two runs to go he hooked a short ball from Stuart Broad towards the boundary. The whole of Australia, and most of England, looked on in horror as the ball was plucked out of the air by a diving Graeme Swann to end Agarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dream. His innings was over, but for 132 minutes Ashton Agar brought pure fantasy to the 2013 Ashes.

Jonnie Barnett

Neymar wows at the Confederations Cup As a Brazilian in Nottingham it is a shame I had heard more of Neymar than Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d TFFO * XBT SFBEZ UP EJTMJLF IJT TFMmTIOFTT and diving ability and laugh off his failed dribbles, much as I would mock Dani Alves when he tries a long range shot which invariably is aimed straight at the keeper. But then I saw him play. And did he play. Something about his technique of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;hold the ball and humiliate your opponentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; (a la Ronaldinho Gaucho), the clinical moves he used to make a play and the pace he was going at, has made me ready to love again.

Xavier Ribeiro

The wait for the new football season Odd-numbered years may lack global sports competitions. Yet, for steadfast season-ticket holders like me, summer represents one thing: preseason. The excitement of the new season builds and we recycle the stubborn belief that â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;this is the yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;.

Coming from a Fulham fan, such fantasies often dissipate by Christmas, if that.

So why do we renew our tickets and go through it again and again?

At a club with a statue of Michael Jackson, stature as humble as Fulham, it is not so much the expectation of silverware as the anticipation of gameday pleasure; those ritualised walks to the ground, those tastes of pre-game pies and pints, those backof-the-net sounds, those volatile feelings of joy and despair. Perhaps we are not the glory-hunters of May, but we certainly are the comfort-seekers of a wintry Saturday afternoon.

John Mastrini

The Lions win Down Under Given the torrid few years it has endured and despite its undeniable importance, the British and Irish Lionsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; series victory JO "VTUSBMJB XBT NPSF TJHOJmDBOU UIBO denting their hostâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sporting ego that little bit more. 16 years after their last series win in South Africa and with the uninviting prospect of a tour to New Zealand to come, the eventually-emphatic victory for Warren Gatlandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s side ensured that the DSFEJCJMJUZ PG UIJT mOF TQPSUJOH JOTUJUVUJPO was well and truly maintained; something for which British rugby fans will always thank him, even if they disagreed with his selection policy.

Dan Matthews

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