Impact Magazine - Issue 209 - March 2011

ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011 | WWW.IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

AGAINST ALL ODDS

AGAINST ALL ODDS

ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011 | WWW.IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

EDITORIAL

This time last year I was deep into the throes of heading up our coverage of the SU elections, and what an emotionally trying period of time that was. Whether it was the sleepless nights, the relentless electioneering or the horror that was Olly Murs at Oceana, a little piece of my soul was lost during that campaign, left in one of the cripplingly uncomfortable chairs in The Den after results night.

!"#$"#%"#&"'(#)*+#,*+#$&)$#'-#&"./(')$(/# neither knew nor cared about the goings on from the previous week was actually quite pleasant. Similarly, I have two siblings who came to this university only a few years before me, neither of whom had any care in the world for the vagaries of student politics. If anything, they’re quite bemused to hear of whatever strife I have to report from the ‘Portland Bubble’.

The temptation is always there for everyone to take everything terribly seriously. And we do – we’re too big an organisation to be cavalier about the responsibilities with which we have been entrusted. But looking at back issues of Impact and our predecessors, we see stories about SU Exec crashing large 0(&123(/# 1*$"# $&(# 45(*$# 6.13+1*%7# 8""+# ,%&$/# 1*# !&(59""+# :)33# and women’s underwear clogging communal tumble-driers.

Where has the fun gone?

Perhaps union life is too much of a serious business these days.

Perhaps I am yearning for an era that either never really existed or is best viewed only through rose-tinted specs. But I can hope, at the very least, that no matter how the SU elections (which -".#/&".3+#+(,*1$(3-#0"$(#1*7#;-#$&(#9)-<#%"7#$&(#2)*+1+)$(/#9133# be aiming not just to represent the hardcore-serious people like me, but also my housemates and the present-day equivalents "8#'-#;5"$&(5#)*+#/1/$(5=#>(#'1%&$#&)0(#)#8(9#'"5(#8""+#,%&$/# instead of SU Council, but that might not be such a bad thing.

Now for some public service announcements: we’re going to be doing a survey very soon, so you can tell us what you want from Impact and how we can improve our offerings. Keep an eye out for that on the Students’ Union’s website and impactnottingham. com, and there will hopefully be prizes on offer!

In the meantime, though, I am always happy to receive feedback ?#%""+#"5#;)+#?#/"#+5"@#1*$"#".5#"8,2(#1*#A"5$3)*+#"5#+5"@#'(#)*# email at dave.jackson@impactnottingham.com, and I’ll do my best to be of service. I’m always open to publishing interesting responses to our articles, so get in there and have your say.

Thanks, and enjoy,

Dave Jackson

WE WROTE. YOU RESPONDED. ‘ROSE’ ON

BEWARE OF THE SUCCUBUS In a world full of pornography and smut it is only natural for a gf to be protective of the person she loves – and jealous of anyone &(#')-#,*+#)$$5)2$10(=#4&(5(#)5(#/(B.)3#$('@$)$1"*/#(0(5-9&(5(# $&)$#C5#>1*D-#E)*#(*$15(3-#/(@)5)$(#(*$1$-#$"#-".5#;8<#2)*#5(@3)2(# a relationship with that only leads to nothing but cheap thrills and misery. In a world like this you have to keep an eye on your man. As for grays anatomy lol, it’s boring.

‘NOTTINGHAM TUTOR’ ON

HOW MIDDLE CLASS IS YOUR UNI? F:)01*%#)5510(+#)$#G"$$1*%&)'#)/#)*#)2)+('12#3)/$#-()57#)8$(5# working for 15 years in state schools, youth work and the ‘new’ university sector, I was struck by how posh the university is.

This truly is a different world, both in terms of the money and 5(/".52(/# $&(# H*10(5/1$-# (*I"-/# ;-# 2"')@51/"*# E/12<# 91$&# 3(//# fortunate institutions, and in terms of the social composition of the student body. Yes, the Mini Coopers, the Ugg boots, the Christmas ski-ing holidays, the internships wangled by family connections, all are part of the sheer aura of privilege and )8J.(*2(# $&)$# 5)+1)$(/# 85"'# $&(# 0)/$# ')I"51$-# "8# $&(# /$.+(*$/# here…”

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

‘JDA’ ON

HOW USEFUL ARE THE ROYAL FAMILY? “…The Royals are, quite simply, an expensive waste who fail $"#&)0(#I./$1,2)$1"*#(1$&(5#"*#@51*21@3(7#"*#)#,*)*21)3#;)/1/#"5# through their role constitutionally. On principle: the hereditary principle is outdated and has no validity and gaining such a privileged position via an accident of birth is simply wrong.

K*#,*)*21)3#%5".*+/#$&(#5"-)3#8)'13-#2"/$#9(33#"0(5#LMNN'#)# -()5#EOP=Q'#')1*$(*)*2(7#QN'#/(2.51$-#)*+#.*$"3+#'1331"*/# 85"'#3"/$#$)B#5(0(*.(/<=#K*#)#2"*/$1$.$1"*)3#;)/1/#A)531)'(*$# established it role as ‘law-giver’ through the act of settlement and the ‘crown in parliament’ has long been outmoded terminology. There is nothing that the Royals do which could *"$#;(#()/13-#8.,33(+#;-#$&(#/@()D(5#)2$1*%#)/#&()+#"8#/$)$(# and giving assent or an elected president which would be 2&()@(57#;($$(5#1*#@51*21@3(#)*+#2".3+#9(33#,33#)#2"*/$1$.$1"*)3# role more effective.”

Join the discussion at www.impactnottingham.com…

CONTENTS- March / 209 2011 02

Editorial

05

News SU Elections

11

Sport Best Rivalries of all TIme

FEATURES

11

15

Against All Odds We Ask Whether Gambling is on the Rise

18

Chatting with the Chancellor An Interview with the VC

20

Its a Crazy World From Japan to America, What’s Weird Where?

22

Desperate Dating Curing Your State of Singledom

24

Airbrushing Are Magazines Ruining Your Life?

26

Reading Between the Lines To Palm or Not to Palm

28

Wave your Rave and Vent Your Spleen

REGULARS 30

Students’ Union What’s Going on in Your Uni This Month

32

Exposure The Best of Student Photography

35

26

Style Still the TopShop?

40

Film 5 Best Sports Films You May Have Missed

43

Music Best of Dirty Pop

47

Travel Blazing the Beaten Trail?

51

Arts & Culture Roman Sexuality and The Warren Cup

54

Science The Science of Attraction

58

Nights Graduate in Style With Our Pick of Best Restaurants

50

62

Spare Parts

63

Gratis IMPACT NOT T INGHAM.COM

03

See History Unfold

VARSITY 2011 04

Stay with www.impactnottingham.com to keep up to date with our live text ISSUE 207 | DECEMBER 2010 updates, photos, videos and reports

Brought to you by sports@impactnottingham.com

NEWS

SU ELECTIONS 2011 It’s that time of year again, where we can expect the beginning of every lecture to be interrupted by manifesto pledg!"#$%&'$()&*$+,-./"$/%$*!$0))!1$2,/.$-3',".#$4&)/,5(%)%&'!1$ campaign teams, or even our trek into university every day to include threading your way through a host of candidates thrusting sweets towards you (or even playing you a tune on the ukulele), all in an attempt to gain your vote. The reason? It’s time to elect our Students’ Union Executive for the next twelve months.

There are nine positions available on the Executive, eight of which are full-time sabbatical posts. These positions, including the non-sabbatical role of Environment and Social Justice, are responsible for the day-to-day running of the Union, as well as 9"5D1*%#"*#/@(21,2#@5"I(2$/#91$&1*#$&(15#5('1$/= Running concurrently with these elections are the votes for R(@5(/(*$)$10(#K8,2(5/7#$)/D(+#91$&#3""D1*%#)8$(5#2(5$)1*# groups within the Union, and Faculty Coordinators, who are the student representatives of each Educational Faculty in the University. Although part-time, these positions work closely with the Executive and the Students’ Union Council (the high(/$#+(21/1"*#')D1*%#;"+-#1*#$&(#H*1"*<7#$"#;($$(5#$&(#310(/#"8# students whilst at University.

This year’s elections have seen many changes from how last year’s was run: greater emphasis is being put on encouraging daytime campaigning and Candidate Question Times have ;((*#5(/&.8J(+7#25()$1*%#'"5(#/1*%3(S@"/1$1"*#(0(*$/#1*#3"2)$1"*/#/@(21,2#$"#()2&#@"/1$1"*=#4&(#T3(2$1"*/#R(/.3$/#G1%&$# will be completely reformed from the event last year, which continued well into the early hours.

Image by Emma Charalambous

Throughout the Students’ Union Elections, Impact is following every development, providing all the latest elections news and insight into everything that you need to make an informed choice on who will run your Students’ Union for the upcoming year.

We are interviewing each candidate running for a position and grilling them over their manifesto pledges and suitability for the role. At the same time, we are investigating the issues that come with these elections, from diversity of candidates to reviewing whether the current Executive have lived up to the promises made last year. Finally, we are running an ‘On the Campaign Trail’ Elections Blog, which looks at the aspects of elections that people might not consider, whether it is looking )$#$&(#/$5(//(/#"8#2)'@)1%*1*%#$"#,*+1*%#".$#9&)$#$&(#(0(5-day student thinks about the elections. Our blog also looks at the highlights from each of the Candidate Question Times. Our website is running polls throughout the campaign, allowing students to let us know how they feel about the elections.

The voting period runs from the 4th until the 11th March, with the results announced that evening. Throughout Results Night, Impact will be giving you live updates on our website, as well as photos of the night and analysis of how each victorious candidate is likely to fare over the upcoming year.

Get all the breaking news and views on . impactnottingham.com

Ben McCabe

Image by Sam Lustig

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NEWS

05

NEWS

PUTTING CRIME ON THE MAP

NEW WEBSITE ALLOWS VIEWERS TO FIND OUT CRIME LEVELS IN THEIR LOCALITY

Being a student at Nottingham University means we are all too aware of Nottingham’s infamous reputation for crime.

Whether this reputation is just or not, the well-known moniker of ‘Shottingham’, the notorious Kimbolton Avenue and the ominous stories of Lenton laptop burglaries leave a lasting impression.

Now, though, a new police initiative means that people living in can track crime in their local area. The website (www.police. .D<#9)/#"51%1*)33-#8"5'(+#$"#5()//.5(#$&(#651$1/&#@.;312#"8#$&(15# safety and welfare as well as to inform them of levels of crime in the United Kingdom. It works by categorising areas of the UK into zones of high, above average, average, below average and low crime rates. This technology also provides the user with the option to compare the crime rates of different boroughs across Britain. It offers details of recent crimes including what type of crime was committed and the whereabouts of the crime.

This information is separated into several categories including burglary, robbery, vehicle crime, violence, anti-social behaviour

and other crime. ‘Other crime’, however, remains a particularly ambiguous label.

Considering that 1,542 crimes had been reported in the last 3 '"*$&/#"8#PNMN#1*#G"$$1*%&)'7#91$&#QPU#"8#$&(/(#$&(#5(/.3$#"8# anti-social behaviour, there is clear evidence that Nottingham is still a city battling against crime. A site such as this can provide a reminder of this unfortunate truth to those living in the area, while hopefully encouraging safer living. The site usefully also pinpoints the location of local police stations for those in need.

The site is proving to be popular - the sheer number of visitors E5(@"5$(+3-# VQ7NNN# &1$/# (0(5-# /1B$-# /(2"*+/<# &)/# 2)./(+# 1$# $"# crash on a few occasions. The question may be asked whether this website is really encouraging awareness, safety and security, or whether it just exacerbates concern and provides an outlet for curiosity.

Hannah Pupkewitz

RIPPING UP THE RULEBOOK? COALITION TORN OVER AV REFERENDUM AS DATE FOR VOTE IS SET

After months of political wrangling, the House of Commons .3"$0+3))6$73""!1$3$*,))$(%+0'4,+-$/.3/$3$'!8!'!+1&4$%+$/.!$ Alternative Vote (AV) electoral system will take place on the 5th May, 2011.

H*31D(#$&(#/1'@3(#W15/$#A)/$#$&(#A"/$#!-/$('#EWA4A<7#1*#9&12&# the candidate with the most votes wins, AV is a system of ‘proportional representation’ which allows voters to rank candidates in order of preference. It is designed to prevent wasted and tactical votes, the latter of which was conspicuous )$# $&(# PNMN# %(*(5)3# (3(2$1"*# 9&(5(# ')*-# 0"$(5/# /.@@"5$(+# the Liberal Democrats in some constituencies in an attempt to prevent the Conservatives from achieving a majority. While FPTP often delivers majority governments, AV is more likely to bring regular coalition.

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ISSUE 209| MARCH 2011

There are huge political implications that come with this referendum. On one hand, a ‘yes’ vote from the public would see general elections in the United Kingdom completely $5)*/8"5'(+7# 9&13(# )# X*"Y# 0"$(# 2".3+# ')D(# 1$# 0(5-# +18,2.3$# 8"5# the Liberal Democrats to continue as the junior partner of the coalition.

Cameron and Clegg are publicly opposed over this issue, with the Prime Minister publicly stating in a recent speech, “On this "*(7#Z#+"*Y$#)%5((#91$&#G12D[=##:(#5('1*+(+#0"$(5/#$&)$#\3(%%# had previously described AV as a “miserable little compromise”.

Clegg, on the other hand, argued that the introduction of AV is “a small change that will make a big difference”. Speaking on the same day as Cameron, he claimed that AV would make the Commons “a less tribal, a little less partisan, a little more open minded”.

Ben McCabe

NEWS

HIGH AS A KITE

POLICE RAIDS SHOW CANNABIS-GROWING TO BE RIFE IN NOTTINGHAM

‘YOUR HALL, YOUR CALL’

CAMPAIGN UNDERWAY TO BLOCK UNIVERSITY’S CHANGES TO PASTORAL CARE IN HALLS The University’s plans to change the pastoral care system in halls of residence have been received poorly by many students, with nearly 3,000 people signing a petition against the proposed changes. This move follows the Students’ Union ‘Your Hall, Your Call’ campaign, launched after the University made moves to restructure the current system without consulting students or tutors.

At the moment, each hall has their own warden as well as several resident tutors who support about 35 students each. :"9(0(57#.*+(5#*(9#@3)*/#9)5+(*/#9133#;(#/&)5(+#"*(#;($9((*# every three halls and hall tutors will each be responsible for )5".*+#QN#/$.+(*$/= In response to these proposals, the Students’ Union launched an online petition that stated, ‘Regardless of what the new system looks like it is imperative that students are widely consulted on these changes’. The petition at www.ipetitions.

2"']@($1$1"*]-".5&)33-".52)33#&)/#)$$5)2$(+#/1%*1,2)*$#/.@@"5$# with students, many of whom feel disappointed with the lack of consultation. Most comments on the petition also defended the current welfare system, saying that tutors and wardens played an important role in both the safety and the atmosphere in halls. One student wrote: “The loss of tutors and wardens is a loss of hall spirit. Without the input of tutors and wardens who personally care for the hall and the welfare of the students within it, halls of residence just become buildings with bedrooms in.”

Cannabis is the most widely used illegal drug in Britain, and Nottingham is no exception to this rule. Last week, police '3,1!1$3$(3++3*,"$83'4$,+$9!!"/%+#$0+1,+-$%:!'$;<=$7)3+/"$ with a street value of £65,000. Only one week before, on 26 January 2011, police discovered one of the largest illicit cannabis growing setups in the UK, its cannabis estimated to be worth over £300,000. In fact, a Freedom of Information request has recently revealed that over 900 cannabis farms have been discovered in the East Midlands within the past year, with a ten-fold increase in Nottinghamshire in particular, increasing from 44 in 2005 to 463 in 2010. The 4%"/$ .,-.57'%0)!$ (3"!"$ /%%>$ 7)3(!$ *3(>$ ,+$ ?&-&"/$ @==A#$ 2.!+$ 7%),(!$ &+(%:!'!1$ (3++3*,"$ 7)3+/"$ 2%'/.$ 3)4%"/$ BA$ million across eight different sites in Nottinghamshire.

Police have ascertained that suburban homes are often the locations of smaller-scale cannabis operations; bedrooms and basements have been converted by tenants into highly technical cannabis growing operations without the knowledge of landlords.

Perhaps the most ‘heart wrenching’ tale of Nottingham’s cannabis-growing culprits is that of Michael Prescott, a father "8# $(*7# 9&"# 1*# ^.%./$# PNMN# 9)/# /(*$(*2(+# $"# )3'"/$# O# -()5/# imprisonment after growing cannabis the previous winter in an effort to raise money for Christmas presents to satisfy his large family. Unfortunately this pipe dream was shattered two weeks before Christmas, when police arrived with a search warrant.

Issues involving cannabis don’t just affect Nottingham locals but )3/"#G"$$1*%&)'#H*10(5/1$-#/$.+(*$/=#Z*#C)-#PNN_#G"$$1*%&)'# Trent student Michael Korn was convicted of running an online cannabis business supplying the equipment necessary to create weed farms. Several Nottingham students have this year found themselves homeless after their hall wardens discovered them smoking the substance on campus. The occasional distant smell of suspiciously scented smoke and student phone contacts named ‘Dealer 1’ and ‘Dealer 2’ make it undoubtedly clear that cannabis is never too far away.

Hannah Pupkewitz

Whilst tutors and wardens are not being completely removed from the pastoral care network, the planned reduction in their numbers have led to fears that those who remain will face the strain of an increased workload that could impair the care they can provide. Several current tutors writing on the petition website also expressed their surprise at not being consulted about a decision they feel may affect their duties.

Following the petition, the Students’ Union issued an open letter to the head of Student Services, which is available to read on the SU website. The SU say that they “want to proceed by collaborating with the University”.

Fiona Crosby IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NEWS

07

COMMENT

MUBARAK WALKS LIKE AN EGYPTIAN

In the aftermath of Tunisia’s successful uprising against its erstwhile President Ben Ali, one BBC News Cairo-based reporter wrote that Egyptian protestors faced “formidable obstacles” if a similar attempt was made to oust their authoritarian government. Following that, a surreal

;A$ 136"$ %8$ 7'%/!"/"$ %:!'(34!$ !:!'6$ one of these obstacles, wiping away decades of inertia and bringing about a seismic shift in Egyptian domestic politics. In the end, President Mubarak stepped down and the Egyptian Armed Forces took control of the country.

Whether the Army can deliver the democracy demanded by the people remains to be seen, but either way it has been a monumental three weeks for the country. !1B$((*#+)-/#)8$(5#$&(#,5/$#@5"$(/$/#$""D# @3)2(7# $&(# ^5'(+# W"52(/# :1%&# \".*213# read out a statement on Egyptian State Television, promising to “implement all necessary measures to protect the nation”. Furthermore, it was stated that the Defence Minister Field Marshall Mohamed Tantawi would “support the legitimate demands of the people and remain in continuous session” until the crisis was over.

This sparked rumours that Mubarak had lost the support of the army, and many commentators were discussing whether Mubarak would be forced to resign. The )$'"/@&(5(#1*#4)&515#!`.)5(#5(J(2$(+#$&(# crowd’s feelings, as chants of “Mubarak ".$[#9(5(#/&".$(+#1*2(//)*$3-=#:"9(0(57# in a speech shortly after the Army’s statement, Mubarak maintained that he would only resign after the September elections, and that the military would secure the country in the meantime.

The protesters rejected this offered concession, with a massive roar of anger echoing around Tahrir Square as the speech ended. To the Army, who seemed eager for safety and stability to return to Egypt, the President’s words reeked of a desperate plea to disperse $&(# @5"$(/$(5/=# # :"9(0(57# C.;)5)DY/# attempt to blame the protests on foreign pressure rang hollow, as hundreds of thousands of Egyptians from a cross section of society continued to protest, despite what Mubarak termed “the dangers around them”. This threat was not one the Army were willing to back up, and so after this last throw of the dice, Mubarak announced his resignation on the 11th February.

But what does this mean for the region, and for Egypt itself? The Egyptian Army

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

has stood at the heart of Egyptian society for the last six decades, providing the stability and support Egypt’s leaders needed to maintain power; it is essentially seen by many Egyptians as a national institution. This image has been cultivated by the Army, which strives to give the impression that it stands alone above the political fray. It makes it quite unlikely that the Egyptian Army will risk its popular image by taking control permanently. Moreover, after Israel, Egypt is the second largest recipient of US aid having been provided 91$&# aM=O;*# 1*# '131$)5-# )1+# 1*# PNMN=# 4&1/# 1/# (/$1')$(+# $"# ;(# )5".*+# UNSQNb# "8# the Egyptian Army’s total budget, giving $&(# H*1$(+# !$)$(/# /1%*1,2)*$# 1*J.(*2(# over its proceedings; Barack Obama has made it clear that he wants stability and democracy for Egypt. The Army itself &)/#5(J(2$(+#$&1/#1*#$&(#D(-#9"5+/#1$#&)/# used: stability, safety and security and a rational change to democracy. Once the Army lifts the state of emergency, as it has promised to do, we can expect Egypt to have democratic elections to decide their next government.

The Egyptian protests have given a massive boost to opposition parties throughout the region. In Yemen, protests against their authoritarian government erupted at the beginning "8# W(;5.)5-7# 91$&# PN7NNN# $.5*1*%# ".$# "*# the 3rd February for a “day of rage” in the capital Sanaa. In Algeria, hundreds of pro-democracy protesters turned out for an anti-government rally in the capital Algiers. Although it is too soon to predict what will happen in other countries in the region, the victories of the Egyptian and Tunisian protesters has inspired many "$&(5/#$"#8"33"9#/.1$=#Z/#)#M_c_S(/`.(#8)33# of authoritarian regimes possible? Only time will tell, but with other countries in the region suffering from similar internal problems, now might be the time to get swept up in the calls for democracy and attempt to bring down the other authoritarian strongmen of North Africa.

The obstacles will be as formidable as the ones Egyptians faced, but for the people of Yemen and Algeria, Egypt’s victory brings them hope.

Malcolm Boyd

COMMENT

NHS GOES UNDER THE KNIFE WILL NEW REFORMS BE MAKE OR BREAK FOR CAMERON?

The new reforms to the NHS brought in by the Tories and Liberal Democrats have arrived and, some say, not a moment too soon. Though some claim that the NHS does not require change, the real issue is whether these particular changes are necessary and whether they are the right way to go about changing an organisation that has always been a symbol of what is great about British society. In essence, can Cameron show that he can be trusted with the NHS? Unfortunately these reforms cannot be given a snappy summary or inspirational catchphrase like the Coalition’s campaign for ‘making work pay’ in welfare. Indeed, it’s taken a while for the reforms to be properly explained and understood, with Cameron only successfully defending his proposals in early February on the BBC Breakfast show. What these reforms ultimately boil down is the move to establish a ‘GP commissioning consortia’, which will handle commissioning treatment, worth "0(5# LcN# ;1331"*# )8$(5# $&(# %"0(5*'(*$# axes two tiers of administration from 91$&1*# $&(# G:!=# 4&(# 2"*/"5$1)# 9133# ;(# accountable to a new independent XG:!# \"''1//1"*1*%# 6")5+Y7# 9&12&# will allocate budgets and oversee the reformed service.

their already highly contentious proposals 8"5#$&(#G:!d#T0(*#$&(*7#$&".%&7#+"2$"5/# may not be under individual pressure; the proposals do amount to a group of around just 15 doctors being responsible for a whole borough.

4&(# e"0(5*'(*$Y/# :()3$&# !(25($)5-# Andrew Lansley has argued that these worries are unfounded. Not only is he adamant that while the BMA and RCS have both raised concerns with the reforms, they do have the full support of clinicians who claim that “with rising demands on healthcare and results for patients - like cancer survival - not even )$# $&(# T.5"@()*# )0(5)%(/7# $&(# G:!# *((+/# $"# '"+(5*1/(# *"9=[# :"9(0(57# /$)$1*%#$&)$#$&(#G:!#*((+/#5(8"5'#+"(/# not justify the repercussions of these /@(21,2# 2&)*%(/=# >&)$# &)/# *"$# ;((*# made clear is why this path is the best one for government to go down.

Ultimately these reforms are proving very 2"*$5"0(5/1)37# (/@(21)33-# 91$&# 1*J.(*$1)3# institutions like the BMA expressing their strong doubts about the speed at which the changes will be made. This being the case, it may seem unreasonable to expect a government with the life span "8#I./$#,0(#-()5/#)$#$"#@./&#8"59)5+#91$&# such ambitious reforms that have such a long-term application period; these 5(8"5'/# ')-# "*3-# @5"01+(# $&(15# ,*)*21)3# ;(*(,$/#1*#$&(#*(B$#A)531)'(*$= Out of all the changes made by the coalition this will be by far the most important. The consequences will be \)'(5"*Y/# +(,*1*%# '"'(*$# )/# ".5# Prime Minister. Even if the results are catastrophic, he will be remembered for transforming our most treasured and /1%*1,2)*$#1*/$1$.$1"*=

Ruth Edwards

Can doctors really be expected to provide the best care for patients whilst keeping their hold of the purse strings to their treatment? The Royal College "8# !.5%("*/# ER\!<# &)/# 1/"3)$(+# $&1/# question as one with which they have a particular concern. They argue that, while they support the government’s )1'# 8"5# ,*+1*%# $&(# ;(/$# 0)3.(# 1*# &()3$&# spending, there needs to be greater detail in the proposals if we are to avoid a situation where doctors focus on lowering costs and cause a ‘race to the bottom’, with price squeezing out quality. Furthermore, even if they can 8.3,33#$&1/#+.)3#5(/@"*/1;131$-7#1/#1$#8)15#$&)$# they should carry the weight of this?

While Cameron is keen to establish that individual doctors will not be under 1*+101+.)3# @5(//.5(# $"# ')D(# ,*)*21)3# decisions, it is worth questioning how much of this claim is merely the classic pitch – the government trying to defend

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NEWS

09

NEWS

GOOD NEWS FOR…

JEALOUS VIEWERS OF ‘THE MAN WHO ASKED’

Comedian Craig Rowin stunned online viewers everywhere after his idea of getting rich quick, involving a few minutes of YouTube airtime simply asking for a million dollars, seemed to literally pay off. The comedy and sheer genius was in the simplicity of the message, which saw the little known comedian give no reason for his deservedness of the huge sum as he )++5(//(+#'1331"*)15(/#1*#&1/#,5/$#01+("#91$&#FA3()/(#%10(#'(#"*(# '1331"*#+"33)5/=#Z#+"*Y$#*((+#1$#8"5#)*-$&1*%#/@(21,2#;.$#Z#$&1*D#1$# would be awesome”, in November of last year. It received close to half a million hits. Two months and two video pleas later, Rowin claimed the money was offered by mystery millionaire ‘Benjamin’, to be handed over on February 2nd in a clip that /&"9/# &1'# /.1$(+# 91$&# )# ;"$$3(# "8# 2&)'@)%*(# )$# &)*+=# :(5(7# he declares the somewhat controversial news with obvious joy, then states smugly “Now here is a couple of seconds for you to resent me…” Indeed, a wealth of resentful comments ensued and amongst the general abuse, a sprinkling of those who admitted they were simply jealous of his idea. These greeneyed viewers can now relax, as the whole thing was revealed as a hoax. Nothing more than a publicity stunt, Rowin remains a non-millionaire.

Shreeya Patel

BAD NEWS FOR...

JERUSALEM

Jerusalem was the most contested city in the world even when the Old City was only being split between four peoples. Now, apparently, the aliens want a slice of the pie as well.

K*#$&(#P_$&"8#f)*.)5-7#)#01+("#/.58)2(+#"*31*(#@"/$(+#91$&#$&(# message “have fun debunking this one”, showing a UFO in the shape of a ball of light descending over the Dome of The Rock on Temple Mount in the Old City of Jerusalem, a sacred site for three religions where no aircraft are allowed. It hovers there for a few seconds before shooting off into the sky. The next day another video went online showing the same event from a different angle. Two more videos have since been uploaded and while the third has been proven to be a hoax capitalising "*#$&(#1*$(5*($#&-/$(51)#$&(#"$&(5#$&5((#&)0(#;((*#'"5(#+18,2.3$# to debunk. Another theory is that the lights are really high-tech Israeli drones. These would be the most advanced piece of technology mankind has ever seen, although it is highly unlikely the Israelis would announce their existence in this way. The lights also look similar to UFOs spotted over Manhattan and Zhejiang, China last year.

There’s no need to pack up the car just yet though, with there still being a very strong possibility that this was done by some internet prankster in need of a girlfriend. But it is doubtful we’ll ever know for sure.

AND IN OTHER NEWS…

Daniel Fine

TEACHERS ORGANISE MOCK WEDDINGS FOR PRIMARY SCHOOL PUPILS It seems it is becoming more and more common for children as -".*%#)/#,0(#-()5/#"3+#$"#;(#1*0"30(+#1*#'"2D#9(++1*%/#1*#)*# attempt to improve their education. Teachers backing this move have argued that encouraging children to participate in mock weddings enhances their comprehension and appreciation of different cultures and religions. Others have even reasoned that mock marriages are an excellent way of aiding the children’s learning and understanding of families and relationships.

This view was re-iterated by Rev. Pollard who carried out the wedding ceremony for Warndon Primary School, Worcester, saying that it was a great means with which to encourage children to be in “stable and committed relationships”. Sarah ^33(*7#$&(#g(@.$-#:()+#"8#>)5*+"*#A51')5-7#(0(*#')1*$)1*(+# that “the event was staged to encourage writing skills in children”.

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The majority of these concerned carried out Christian wedding ceremonies but others have also made their pupils participate 1*# :1*+.# )*+# C./31'# '"2D# 9(++1*%/=# 4&(# 2&)5)2$(51/$12/# of these mock weddings are virtually identical to that of the normal ceremonies. For example, the Christian mock weddings

ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

are typically administered by a vicar in a church and include a wedding cake, rings, signing of the register, a wedding reception and sometimes even a hen and stag party. :"9(0(57#*"$#(0(5-"*(#1/#"8#$&(#/)'(#"@1*1"*=#G12D#!()$"*7#$&(# chairman for the Campaign For Real Education, stated that “I think it is crazy. If children need to be taught to improve their writing the way to do that should be through learning grammar, spelling and through reading.”

Critics have given other reasons for their disapproval of mock weddings. Some see these ‘weddings’ as a form of indoctrination or even as unnecessary, because it is argued primary school children are too young to properly appreciate the meaning of marriage. It’s worth considering, however, that if we are going to educate our children on relationships through mock weddings, then shouldn’t we carry out mock civil partnerships as well?

Kat Rolle

SPORT GREAT SPORTING RIVALRIES

FOOTBALL DERBIES C.3/$ ,"$ /.!$ -'!3/!"/$ 8%%/*3))$ ',:3)'6D$ E3(.$ 6!3'$ 8%%/*3))$ 83+"$ 3('%""$ /.!$ (%&+/'6$ "(%&'$ /.!,'$ 0F/&'!$ ),"/"$ /%$ (,'()!$ /.!$ contests against their most bitter adversaries. If you are an English football fan reading this, you are likely to immediately think of your beloved team’s rivalry and why that is a candidate for this list. Of course, it is undeniable that the likes of the Manchester, Merseyside and North London Derbies, to name a few, are some of the most passionate. As a Sunderland fan myself, I could have easily dedicated half of this article to the 2-1 beating of Newcastle dished out two seasons ago before their relegation, with the other half a huge picture of Kieran Richardson’s winning free kick bursting the top corner of the net. But I wanted to see what existed abroad; and in what ways they differed from what we experience every year in England. In no particular order, I have provided what I feel are eight of the greatest rivalries the world has to offer.

FENERBAHÇE VS. GALATASARAY

CELTIC VS. RANGERS

With 17 league titles each, these two clubs are considered the most successful in the Turkish league. Situated in Istanbul between Europe and Asia, and separated only by the Bosphorous, the Kitalar-Arasi Derbi has been raging for over a century. Both clubs were founded within two years of each "$&(5# 1*# M_NQ# )*+# M_NV=# e)3)$)/)5)-7# ;)/(+# 1*# $&(# T.5"@()*# &)38#"8#Z/$)*;.37#9)/#25()$(+#,5/$#;-#)#%5".@#"8#/$.+(*$/#85"'# the Galatasaray Lycee, one of the most prestigious institutions in Turkey, and are associated with aristocracy. In contrast, Fenerbahçe hails from the Asian side and is followed by a mostly working-class fan base who refer to their team as the ‘people’s club.’ In recent years, the football hooliganism has escalated with street rioting occurring across the country before and after games.

>1$&# _Q# 3()%.(# $1$3(/# ;($9((*# $&('7# $&(# K3+# W15'# g(5;-# 1/# played out between two of the most successful clubs in football &1/$"5-=#:"9(0(57#$&1/#1/#*"$#I./$#)#/@"5$1*%#510)35-=#6"$&#23.;/# ,*+# $&('/(30(/# )/# ;)/(/# 8"5# +1/@.$(/# 5(%)5+1*%# ;"$&# 5(31%1"*# and Northern Ireland. Rangers fans are traditionally Protestant and Ulster Loyalists whilst Celtic generally calls on Catholic followers with roots in the Irish Republican movement. One of $&(#9"5/$#"*S@1$2&#;)$$3(/#"22.55(+#1*#M_cN#)8$(5#\(3$12#9"*#$&(# Scottish Cup Final and caused an, at the time, unprecedented step of alcohol being banned in Scottish grounds. Title-deciding %)'(/#&)0(#;((*#)0"1+(+#/1*2(#C)-#M___#9&(*#'1//13(/#9(5(# thrown and struck the referee, causing the game to be paused.

The government has reported that violent attacks increase nine-fold during an Old Firm weekend.

ROMA VS. LAZIO The Derby della Capitale is rooted in history dating back to Mussolini’s reign when he ordered the four Roman teams to merge to challenge the northern clubs. Three of them obliged to form AS Roma, while Lazio managed to hold out thanks $"# $&(# 1*J.(*2(# "8# W)/21/$# %(*(5)37# e1"5%1"# h)22)5"7# )*+# remain independent. The derby has been the scene of great 2"*$5"0(5/-#91$&#)#i)j1"#8)*#;(1*%#D133(+#1*#M_V_#9&(*#)#R"')# /.@@"5$(5#&.53(+#)#,5(9"5D#1*#&1/#(-(#)*+#)#%)'(#;(1*%#2)33(+# "88#1*#PNNU#9&(*#)#51"$#;5"D(#".$#1*#$&(#/$)*+/=#H*8"5$.*)$(3-7# games have more recently played witness to increased racism, particularly from the Lazio Ultras, who have displayed offensive banners and hurled abuse at black Roma players.

PALMEIRAS VS. CORINTHIANS 4&(#A).31/$)#g(5;-#1/#$&(#,(52(/$#510)35-#"8#$&(#%5()$(/$#2".*$5-# to ever kick a ball – Brazil. Conceived after an English football $()'# )3/"# D*"9*# )/# $&(# X\"51*$&1)*/Y# $".5(+# 1*# M_MN7# !@"5$# Club Corinthians Paulista was founded by a group of blue-collar workers impressed by the players. Similar to other football 510)351(/7#)#%5".@#"8#5(;(3/#/@31$#85"'#$&(#$()'#1*#M_MU#$"#25()$(# a sports club for the Italian community called Palestra Itália and are known to their rivals simply as ‘the betrayers.’ There have been books written and movies shot about this rivalry, including a version of ‘Romeo and Juliet’ where Palmeiras and Corinthians take the place of the Montagues and Capulets.

Continued

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/SPORT

11

VS

SPORT

FOOTBALL RIVALRIES CONT.

OLYMPIAKOS VS. PANATHANAIKOS

BARCELONA VS. REAL MADRID

This derby’s local nickname – ‘Derby of the eternal enemies’ – says it all really. Sharing a feature inherent with many of Europe’s ,(52(/$# 2"*$(/$/7# $&(# $9"# 23.;/# 2)*# $5)2(# $&(15# 510)35-# ;)2D# $"# religious, social and cultural differences. Panathanaikos were 8".*+(+# 1*# M_Nc# 1*# $&(# 2(*$5(# "8# ^$&(*/# )*+# )5(# 2"*/1+(5(+# )# classic representative of high-class society. Olympiakos were created 17 years later in the Athenian port of Piraeus and attract fans from all over Greece expressing their contempt for the wealthier classes. Over recent years the games have been marred by outbreaks of violence including the stabbing of a A)*)$&)*)1D"/#8)*#1*#PNNV7#9&12&#/@)5D(+#)#*)$1"*)3#".$5)%(#)*+# caused all team sports games to be suspended for two weeks.

El Clasico is the most watched club match in the world, second only to the Champions League Final. Besides dominating the league between them in recent years, these two clubs also share a deep political history. The dictator, General Franco, was a keen Real Madrid fan and was accused of pressuring Alfredo di Stefano into signing for them despite initially agreeing to join Barcelona. The rest is history, as two-time Ballon d’Or winner g1# !$(8)*"# 3(+# R()3# $"# ,0(# T.5"@()*# \.@/# )*+# (1%&$# 3()%.(# titles. Barcelona is a symbol of Catalan identity and the fans vehemently opposed the Franco dictatorship (which banned any *"*S\)/$131)*# !@)*1/&# 3)*%.)%(<=# R(2(*$3-7# i.1/# W1%"# /$.**(+# the football world by moving from Barcelona to Real Madrid: his return to the Camp Nou saw fans hurl whiskey bottles and even a pig’s head onto the pitch.

RED STAR BELGRADE VS. PARTIZAN BELGRADE

BOCA JUNIORS VS. RIVER PLATE

Z*#)#PNNV#/.50(-7#1$#9)/#5(0()3(+#$&)$#cPb#"8#!(5;1)#/.@@"5$(+# one of the two clubs who engage ‘The Eternal Derby’ (Eastern T.5"@(#/(('/#$"#&)0(#)#$)/$(#8"5#8)$)31/'#1*#$&(15#+(5;-#*)'(/<=# Z*21+(*$/# ;($9((*# $&(# g(31I(# E:(5"(/# "8# R(+# !$)5<# )*+# $&(# e5";)51/# EH*+(5$)D(5/<# 8)2$1"*/# 85(`.(*$3-# "22.5# ;(8"5(7# +.51*%# and after games and usually need riot police to intervene. A %)'(# 1*# K2$";(5# PNNN# 9)/# );)*+"*(+# 9&(*# 8)*/# "8# ;"$&# teams invaded the pitch, clashed and attacked the players.

Unfortunately, tragedy is a regular feature in matches. In October M___7#)#MV#-()5#"3+#R(+#!$)5#8)*#9)/#D133(+#;-#)#/1%*)3#J)5(#,5(+# 85"'#$&(#e5";)51#/(2$1"*#"8#$&(#/$)+1.'=#Z*#PNNl7#)#A)5$1j)*#8)*# was stabbed to death in an arranged battle.

Z*#PNNU7#4&(#K;/(50(5#@.$#$&(#!.@(523m/12"#)$#$&(#$"@#"8#$&(15#31/$# "8#YQN#/@"5$1*%#$&1*%/#$"#+"#;(8"5(#-".#+1(=Y#6"$&#23.;/#"51%1*)$(# from La Boca, a working class dockland area in Buenos Aires 1*=#6.$7#1*#M_PQ7#R10(5#'"0(+#$"#$&(#9()3$&-#)5()#"8#G.*(j#)*+7# with many upper-class fans, became known as Los Millonarios E4&(# C1331"*)15(/<=# Z*# 2"*$5)/$7# 6"2)# ;(2)'(# D*"9*# )/# $&(# working class club with many fans hailing from the local Italian 2"''.*1$-=# K*# PO# f.*(# M_lc7# VM# 8)*/# 9(5(# 25./&(+# $"# +()$&# in an incident known as the Puerta 12 tragedy: the average age "8# $&(# 012$1'/# 9)/# M_=# Z$# &)/# ;((*# 3"*%# +1/@.$(+# (B)2$3-# 9&)$# happened, with each set of fans blaming the other group for causing the stampede.

WHY NOT TRY

TAEKWONDO

Taekwondo is a dynamic martial art and full Olympic sport, the '"+(5*#8"5'#"8#$&(#,%&$1*%#)5$/#+(0(3"@(+#"0(5#$&(#@)/$#$9"# thousand years in Korea. Best known for its spectacular aerial kicks and literally translated as “to smash and destroy with the hand and foot”, Taekwondo is much more than just kicking and punching.

G"$# I./$# 8"5# $&(# 1*25(+1;3-# )$&3($127# $&(5(# )5(# ;(*(,$/# 8"5# everybody, young and old, male or female, with improved co"5+1*)$1"*7# 9(1%&$# 3"//7# J(B1;131$-# )*+# %5()$(5# 2"*,+(*2(# $"# name a few. There are few better ways to de-stress or even just to work off that essential essay-writing pack of chocolate :";*";/k The University Taekwondo club is the biggest and most successful martial arts club in the University, and as a member of the Traditional Taekwondo Association, every member of $&(#23.;#1/#%5)+(+#;-#e5)*+')/$(5#i"&7#_$&#+(%5((#;3)2D#;(3$# and two time European champion. Grandmaster Loh holds several training sessions at the university every year, including a weeklong event over summer, ensuring students can meet the highest standards.

The club encourages competition, attending several national events each year including the British Students Taekwondo

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

Joe Lobo

W(+(5)$1"*# \&)'@1"*/&1@/=# i)/$# -()5# /)9# )# &).3# "8# "0(5# QN# medals, and there are also international opportunities for those who progress far enough.

Taekwondo club organise loads of socials throughout the year which are a great way to meet new people and always tons of fun. So whether you’re a complete beginner or an aspiring world champion, why not come down as see what we’re all about? Training is Monday at 6pm and Wednesday at 5pm in the University Sports Centre.

Adam Turner

SPORT THOMAS GREEN DISCUSSES

BALANCING WORK AND CLUBBING Back from the International Paralympics Committee World Athletics Championship, Nottingham student Thomas Green takes time out from his training and catching up on lectures to talk about his life as an elite Paralympic athlete…

I doubt that many second-year Maths students spend their free time plotting the demise of leading North African athletes, but this is what I plan to do this semester having competed in the ‘club throw’ competition at the IPC World Athletics Championships this January. The ‘club’ is as Neanderthal a throwing implement as it sounds – it’s basically a rounders bat with a weight on the end, designed for those deemed too disabled to throw the javelin. The (%47!/,/,%+#$ .!)1$ ,+$ G!2$ H!3)3+1#$ (%+"/,/&/!1$ 46$ 0'"/$ major championship, and a respectable seventh-place 0+,".$,+$3$:!'6$(%47!/,/,:!$!:!+/$8!)/$),>!$3$I&"/$'!23'1$8%'$ /.!$"3(',0(!"$J$.31$431!$,+$*3)3+(,+-$46$2%'>$3+1$/'3,+,+-$ leading up to the competition.

The event was won by Lahouri Bahlaz, a 31-year-old Algerian with disconcertingly long arms and an even more disconcerting knack for breaking world records, with a staggering throw of 36.73 metres – a full 4 metres ahead of his closest rival and 11 ahead of myself. As one of the most dynamic and quickly evolving sports in the world, the boundaries are always being pushed back in disabled athletics, but to see the world record demolished so brutally at such close quarters certainly sharpened my focus. Safe to say I will be back in the gym very shortly.

I think that people are only just starting to realise how elite Paralympic sport has become. There was a time, perhaps 15 "5#PN#-()5/#)%"7#9&(*#*)$.5)3#$)3(*$#2".3+#2)$)@.3$#-".#/$5)1%&$# on to the podium, but the time has long since passed when an athlete of my age could compete for a medal in a throws event. Disabled athletics is now truly global, and the training regimes in some countries are ruthlessly intense. For example, last year I witnessed a Tunisian discus thrower being forced to compete, despite requiring painkilling spray between every throw to manage the ripped tendons in his shoulder. I picture this scene every time I have the urge to complain about a coursework deadline.

when sitting in a particularly tedious – I mean, enlightening – nine o’clock lecture, it’s good to know that sooner rather than later I’ll be travelling to a competition to do battle with athletes from all around the world. Perhaps I just have a predisposition to gloating, but I do think it’s vitally important to have a variety of focuses in your life if you wish to excel in any of them.

Balancing these two aspects of my life obviously necessitates compromise. I can’t say I looked over many lecture notes during my month in New Zealand, and conversely, I didn’t exactly get much training done during Freshers’ Week. There are times when this compromise frustrates me, but I’m pretty comfortable with the way I manage my time.

And so now, through the deluge of coursework deadlines, I go back into training ready for the summer athletics season. There aren’t many parallels between Maths and athletics, but being a disabled athlete can be more of an intellectual challenge than you might think. Given that disability affects each person differently, there is no standard way to throw something like a club, and so a lot of my training consists of working out which areas of my body are most powerful, and then teaching myself an action that optimises my strengths. I throw the club backwards over my head, in an action that has proved to be very effective, if somewhat comical. I am currently looking at numerous little tweaks I can make to give me an advantage, "*(#"8#9&12&#1/#)#J12D#"8#$&(#)5'#;)/(+#"*#&"9#^3)*#!&()5(5# used to forearm-smash defenders in the face. Inspiration, as they say, comes from the unlikeliest of places...

Thomas Green

Much as I would love to be able to dedicate myself this much to my training – albeit with a slightly less sadistic coach – I have never been tempted to give up or postpone my university (+.2)$1"*=# :"9(0(5# '.2&# 1$/# @5",3(# %5"9/7# Z# D*"9# $&)$# Z# 9133# never make a living out of disabled athletics, so I need to make /.5(#Z#&)0(#$&(#`.)31,2)$1"*/#$"#%($#)#+(2(*$#I";=#Z#)3/"#31D(#$&)$# athletics is not my only focus. I know a lot of athletes who give up everything for their sport – their education, their hobbies, and eventually their social lives. They tend to have retired by the age "8#$9(*$-S,0(=#4&(#$5.$&#1/#$&)$#(31$(#/@"5$#2)*#;(#)#0(5-#1*$(*/(# and lonely place, and it’s good to know that I have something else going for me when I start to feel the pressure. Equally,

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/SPORT

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SPORT

CRICKET WORLD CUP 2011

By the time you read this, the 10th Cricket World Cup will be well underway in Bangladesh India and Sri Lanka. Whilst seemingly lasting longer than any other major sporting event, it always delivers thrilling cricket. What’s more is that the time difference will make it much easier to watch than the unforgiving, sleep pattern-destroying Ashes series did. Here, then, is a handy guide to the 14 competitors.

AUSTRALIA: Winners of the last 3 tournaments and undefeated in World Cups since May 27, M___=# \"'1*%# 1*$"# $&(# 2"'@($1$1"*# "88# the back of some of their worst cricket for many years, the Aussies have everything to lose.

Key Batsman: Shane Watson.

Key Bowler: Mitchell Johnson.

BANGLADESH: :)01*%# @(58"5'(+# );"0(# (B@(2$)$1"*# ;)2D# 1*# PNNV7# 2512D($Y/# @(5(**1)3# underdogs will once again look to embarrass the big teams. But with Mashrafe Mortaza out through injury their lack of depth in fast bowling will not help their cause.

Key Batsman: Tamim Iqbal.

Key Bowler: !&)D1;#^3#:)/)*= CANADA: With the number of teams due to play at $&(#PNMQ#>"53+#\.@#5(+.2(+#$"#MN7#$&1/# could be Canada’s last appearance at the tournament for the foreseeable future.

Key Batsman: Ashish Bagai.

Key Bowler: John Davison.

ENGLAND: As ready as they’ll ever be to win their ,5/$# QN# K0(5# $".5*)'(*$7# 1*I.5-# $5".;3(# is the only thing that might hold England back from continuing their rise through the ranks in all three formats of the game.

IRELAND: Ed Joyce has returned to the team having given up on his England career and will hope to help Ireland slay a couple of giants as they did four years ago.

Key Batsman:#>1331)'#A"5$(5,(3+=# Key Bowler: Trent Johnston.

KENYA: Probably the strongest of the minnows, $&(-#8)'"./3-#5()2&(+#$&(#/('1S,*)3/#1*# PNNO=#6($#)%)1*/$#$&('#)$#-".5#@(513=# Key Batsman: Steve Tikolo.

Key Bowler: Thomas Odoyo.

NETHERLANDS: While slightly better than their World Cup record suggests, they are still unlikely to trouble the top teams.

Key Batsman: Ryan ten Doeschate.

Key Bowler: Ryan ten Doeschate.

NEW ZEALAND: Skipper Daniel Vettori will step down after the tournament and, like Australia, the Kiwis go into the tournament having played some of their worst cricket for -()5/=# :"9(0(57# $&(-# )5(# )# /1+(# $&)$# should never be underestimated.

Key Batsman: Ross Taylor.

Key Bowler: Daniel Vettori.

Key Batsman: Kevin Pietersen.

Key Bowler: James Anderson.

INDIA: Very slight favourites ahead of South Africa. With a line-up including names 31D(# 4(*+.3D)57# !(&9)%# )*+# :)5;)&I)*7# India have all the ingredients required to +"'1*)$(#$&(#$".5*)'(*$=#:"9#$&(-#;"93# at the death will likely decide whether PNMM#9133#;(#$&(15#-()5=#

James McAndrew ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

Key Batsman: Umar Akmal.

Key Bowler: Umar Gul. SOUTH AFRICA: With two of the top 3 ODI batsmen in the world, they have a formidable batting line-up and explosive bowlers to go with it. If they can overcome their tendency to choke when it really matters then they 2)*#()/13-#')D(#$&(#,*)3=# Key Batsman: AB de Villiers.

Key Bowler: Morne Morkel.

SRI LANKA: >1$&# )# 5.**(5/S.@# '(+)3# 85"'# $&(# PNNV# World Cup and the incomparable Muttiah Muralitharan playing his swansong competition, the Sri Lankans are the tournament’s dark horses. If I were a betting man…

Key Batsman: Mahela Jayawardene.

Key Bowler: Lasith Malinga.

WEST INDIES: !1*2(# 91**1*%# $&(# ,5/$# $9"# >"53+# \.@/# 1*# XVQ# )*+# YV_7# $&(# >1*+1(/# &)0(# +"*(# nothing but underachieve at major competitions. As poor in bowling as they are spectacular in batting, they’re probably the hardest team to prepare for playing against as you never know which West Indies team will show up on the day.

Key Batsman: Shivnarine Chanderpaul.

Key Bowler: Dwayne Bravo.

Key Batsman: Sachin Tendulkar.

Key Bowler: Zaheer Kahn.

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PAKISTAN: \"*/1+(51*%# $&(# "*S%"1*%# /@"$# ,B1*%# inquiry and hearings, they’ve had a very good build up to the tournament. Any team that allows Afridi or Razzaq to gain momentum at the end of an innings could be chasing a bigger total than they think.

ZIMBABWE: Currently in a self-imposed exile from Test cricket, they certainly have more national issues outside of cricket than any other side. Despite this, they always turn up to World Cups playing carefree cricket and even have some uncharacteristically good form building up to this year’s competition.

Key Batsman: Brendan Taylor.

Key Bowler: Ed Rainsford.

AGAINST ALL ODDS Is Student Gambling on the Rise?

Over breakfast a few weeks ago, one of my housemates casually dropped into the morning conversation that he’d won £350 the previous night playing online roulette. Although by any student’s standards this is an exceedingly large amount of cash, the reality is that this is just small chips in the scheme of an increasingly prevalent trend in the lives of Nottingham students - gambling. All the time, more students are venturing into this world of flashy casino lights and online betting, with invariably mixed results and interesting consequences. So is student gambling on the rise, and does it matter?

by JA

CK

GIL

BE

RT

a night out with a stack of casino winnings, more and more of said person’s friends, and friends of friends, will venture off to the likes of Alea or Gala in an attempt to recreate his or her success. Mix alcohol into this atmosphere of ‘everyone’s going’ and going to a casino becomes a social event akin to going to a nightclub or bar.

Also, university socials are increasingly turning to gambling as a form of organised entertainment: last year’s Media SRS Ball ended at Alea, the last Graduation Ball had blackjack and roulette (albeit with *"#5()3#'"*(-#)$#/$)D(<#)*+#X2)/1*"#*1%&$Y7#2"'@3($(#91$&# craps tables and roulette wheels, is a common theme of choice in formal dinners at halls of residences.

According to the 2010 British Gambling Prevalence Survey, just under two thirds of British students have gambled at some point over the previous year. More worryingly, the percentage of 16-24 year olds gambling in 9',/3,+$.3"$,+('!3"!1$8'%4$KAL$,+$@==M$/%$NAL$,+$@=;=#$ demonstrating a large increase in our gambling compared to previous generations. Nottingham could be seen as something of a centre of the country’s gambling world, as /.!$"34!$"&':!6$'!:!3)!1$A=L$%8$E3"/$O,1)3+1"P$'!",1!+/"$ gambled last year: the highest percentage in Britain.

Tangible demonstrations of these statistics are plain to see, as Nottingham has a particularly high number of casinos dotted across its city centre- walking home from one of /.!$ 43+6$ ()&*"$ 3)"%$ )%(3/!1$ .!'!#$ ,/$ 2%&)1$ *!$ 1,80(&)/$ /%$ avoid passing one. Furthermore, just metres from Mirage (the nightclub formerly known as Isis) lies Dusk Till Dawn, a partner of Europe’s largest poker club and one of the largest poker venues on the continent. Those studying at Nottingham may well be more exposed to gambling than your average young person, and students of our generation 3'!$4%'!$7'!1,"7%"!1$/%$.3:,+-$3$Q&//!'$/.3+$.3"$7'!:,%&")6$ been the case.

The social reasons for the popularity of student gambling both in Nottingham and across the country are plain to see. For ')*-# "8# ./7# .*10(5/1$-# 1/# $&(15# ,5/$# $1'(# )9)-# 85"'# &"'(# )*+# the omnipresent watch of parental nagging. This subsequent freedom inspires an indulgence in adolescent misbehaviour and vices, from alcohol and drugs to gambling and beyond.

C"5("0(57# .*10(5/1$-# 1/# $&(# ,5/$# $1'(# 1*# ".5# 310(/# 9&(*# 9(# )5(# presented with vast amounts of money in our accounts and gambling represents an obvious temptation as to what to do 91$&# $&(/(# *(98".*+# 512&(/# E"5# "0(5+5)8$# (B$(*/1"*/<=# \&1(8# Executive of the UK’s leading gambling charity Andy McLellan /)1+#1*#)*#1*$(501(9#91$&#$&(#66\#1*#PNN_#$&)$#)#@51')5-#5()/"*# that students might gamble more money than they should is $&)$#F-".Y5(#)9)-#85"'#&"'(7#1$#')-#9(33#;(#$&(#,5/$#$1'(#-".# are managing your own money”.

The set-up of university life almost encourages betting. The communal environment of halls constantly creates an air of peer pressure around most things, gambling being no exception.

As soon as one member of any given hall comes back from

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

More pertinently, gambling is fun - little can emulate its feelings of adrenaline and exhilaration. The worrying question, however, 1/#$&)$#1*/$()+#"8#I./$#&)01*%#8.*7#"5#@(5&)@/#$5-1*%#$"#,*)*2(# new palatial mansions and the purchase of our own football teams, we may be using gambling as a means of escaping our overdrafts. McLellan also commented to the BBC, “There are a number of pressures and risk factors there which can lead people to get into stressful situations. Sometimes it can mean that looking at gambling can appear to be a way of helping to deal with the problems you have encountered.” Thinking like this can lead to a dangerous gambling habit: the old adages that nothing is ever a certainty or that the house always wins may seem like boring rhetoric from a society that doesn’t comprehend your unsurpassed black jack strategy or your amazing knowledge of the English Premier League, but they still remain true. You do not have to go far to hear of somebody who has lost titanic sums of money on an ‘un-losable’ wager.

The dangers of gambling shouldn’t, however, be exaggerated.

For as many stories of students maxing their overdrafts at casinos, there are just as many stories of students winning big.

A notorious legend that has long circulated campus halls comes from Newcastle, where one student woke up from a night out 91$&# *"# 5(2"33(2$1"*# "8# $&(# @5(01"./# *1%&$Y/# (0(*$/=# :"9(0(57# 1*/$()+#"8#,*+1*%#$&(#/$)*+)5+#&)38S()$(*#@1jj)#)*+#5('*)*$/# "8#$&(#*1%&$Y/#133*(//#)5".*+#&1'7#&(#)9"D(#$"#L_NN#1*#2)/&#)*+# )#2)/1*"#2&(`.(#8"5#LPN7NNN=#Z$#/(('/#$&1/#G(92)/$3(#/$.+(*$# had, in an inebriated stupor, entered a poker tournament and $&5".%&#)#'1B$.5(#"8#/&((5#3.2D#)*+#)32"&"3#&1+1*%#&1/#;3.8,*%# had successfully managed to win. As astonishing as this sounds, I would highly advise against attempting to recreate his success. I for one am far more likely to end up passed out on a boat to Greenland than winning big at the casino on a night out.

While anecdotal evidence always tends to show the extreme highs and lows of betting, an interview with a serious student gambler reveals a much more rounded picture. This particular Nottingham student has been through it all, got the t-shirt )*+#3"/$#)#2&((D-#Ll7NNN#1*#$&(#@5"2(//=#:(#2)/.)33-#+5"@/#1*# stories of being up and down “money most people would die 8"5[=#:"9(0(57#18#Z#/)1+#$&)$#+.51*%#$&(#@5"2(//#"8#$&1/#1*$(501(9# "*(# "8# &1/# &"./(')$(/# 9"*# LMNN# "*# $&(# 8""$;)33# ')$2&# 9(# were watching, and that this was just the tip of the iceberg, you might then have a fair impression of how gambling is treated among this group of friends. “The lifestyle I have at university is integral to my gambling”, he told me, due to the fact that he )*+#,0(#"8#&1/#')$(/#&)0(#8"5'(+#)#%5".@#"8#/(51)3#%)';3(5/7# demonstrating the extent to which the pastime is spurred on by social atmosphere. Speaking to this highly experienced

gambler, what struck me the most was the informality of it all. The lack of regrets he seemed to have amazed me – not lamenting all the money lost, but taking pride in the good times and maintaining a very positive outlook about it all, he sagely commented “always be modest in victory and celebrate your losses.”

The wider reality is that the gambling world has taken over Britain. You can’t walk down any high street in any town without encountering several betting shops. You can’t watch TV without being bombarded by adverts for them. You can’t go on the Internet without coming across enticing and seemingly no-risk pop ups for online gambling websites. One anonymous student seeking help with a fairly serious gambling addiction on thestudentroom.co.uk claimed “I tried to give up online poker […] pop ups always remind me that its only a couple of clicks away though”. Even the Students’ Union’s NUTS (Nottingham H*10(5/1$-#4(3(01/1"*#!$)$1"*<#1/#;(1*%#/@"*/"5(+#;-#6($85(+#8"5# its coverage of the University’s Varsity sports series, showing $&)$# "*31*(# ;($$1*%# /1$(/# )5(# 1*$(5(/$(+# 1*# /@(21,2)33-# $)5%($1*%# students in their advertising. The rise of televised poker in the past decade has both glamourised and normalised the ‘sport’, rendering it less illicit than it may have previously been. ^22"5+1*%# $"# )# 5(@"5$# @.;31/&(+# ;-# g(3"1$$(# 1*# PNMN7# $&(# Hn# ;($$1*%#1*+./$5-#1/#9"5$&#)#/$)%%(51*%#Ll#;1331"*#?#@(5&)@/#D(-# to the success of this industry is the fact it is now so easy and quick to dip in and out of. In this digital age, all it takes is one click of a button and you can deposit money straight into your account. Then you have an unlimited number of options as to how you wish to try and double it – Deal or No Deal, online poker or even virtual dog racing. Within my university friendship group, I would estimate that around half of my friends regularly go to casinos or bet online. Interestingly, the number of boys compared with girls who gamble within that group is remarkably unequal. Not wanting to delve into a gender related argument over the reasons for this, it certainly seems to be the case that $&(#')3(#@"@.3)$1"*#E"8#/$.+(*$/#)$#3()/$<#)5(#$&(#'"/$# likely to be found down the local bookies. Perhaps this is something to do with the topic of sport itself: with the diversifying range of areas of interest that one is able to bet on, coupled with the increasing culture of heading to a casino as part of a night out, more women might soon be drawn to the world of gambling.

It would be fair to say that for the vast majority of students gambling does not present a real problem, merely a pastime carried out in response to our vast amounts of freedom. :"9(0(57# 1$Y/# hard to be sure that this pastime is just an adolescent fad, and that when we E&"@(8.33-<# /$)5$# $"# ()5*# %""+# '"*(-7# 9(# 9"*Y$# ,*+# ".5/(30(/# /@(*+1*%# /1%*1,2)*$#

cash on the roulette wheel.

Whether unions or universities should be discouraging gambling is debatable. Going to the casino or betting on a football match, after all, is perfectly legal activity. Just as the main welfare concern with alcohol is its abuse, and not merely the fact that people drink it, the focus on gambling should be preventing addiction and not attempting to curtail it for the sake of doing so. Students are, after all, supposed to possess an adult appreciation of the consequences of their actions. An interview 91$&#$&(#!$.+(*$/Y#H*1"*Y/#9(38)5(#"8,2(5#n)$1(#C)2D)-#/&"9/# an awareness that more might need to be provided: “As far as I am concerned, nothing has been done support wise.

Gambling as a whole has been under the radar, and we need to do more.” As the most swiftly rising addiction in the U K )*+#91$&#/$.+(*$/#?#,*)*21)3#251/1/#"5#*"$#?#/$133# possessing huge amounts of disposable income, gambling most certainly matters. And it matters more than ever.

By Tim MacFarlan

A CHAT WITH THE VICE CHANCELLOR S

2!!7,+-$,+/%$3$R"&"7,(,%&")6S$()!3+$J473(/$%80(!#$ Vice Chancellor Professor David Greenaway met 4!$2,/.$3$0'4$.3+1".3>!$*!8%'!#$J$"3/$1%2+$/%$T&,U$ him in the context of a higher education environment for which, as he said himself, “there’s a lot of change in the wind.”

What is your job description?

We have a heritage and a reputation that needs to be sustained. I am responsible for the quality of teaching, learning and student services, as well as a big research engine which needs to be fuelled, so we have to be competitive in winning contracts. We must sustain economic activity in the city and build social capital, and we have a unique international dimension with the campuses in China and Malaysia. It’s a pretty broad brief.

How will the rise in tuition fees affect Nottingham, and how are we planning to adapt?

Before graduate contributions rise in PNMP7#".5#%"0(5*'(*$#8.*+1*%#1/#;(1*%# 2.$#/"#$&(#,5/$#I";#&)/#;((*#$"#;.13+# resilience in order to maintain the quality of teaching and learning, deliver a good student experience and continue to invest in infrastructure. I don’t know to what level we will increase our fees, but I hope we will make a decision by the end of this term.

What would you change about the government’s proposals on university funding?

They have moved in the right direction because if there are going to be deep cuts, graduates need to make a higher contribution, and I think everybody is agreed on that.

If I were changing anything, I would have a longer transition period.

Image by Aniec Liu

How far does Nottingham take into account the educational background of its intake?

We do look at context, but we have to be fair as we must be careful about positive discrimination and giving heavy discounts on tariff scores. On social mobility and widening partici@)$1"*7#Z#$&1*D#9(#*((+#$"#+"#)#3"$#'"5(#@51"5#$"#Mc=#!2&"3)5/&1@/#)5(#,*(7#;.$#9(#*((+#$"#2&)*%(#(B@(2$)$1"*/#'.2&# earlier by bringing younger children into the university environment, which we are doing more of.

You have been criticised for being aloof and inaccessible to students. Is that fair?

I’ve not heard that one before. Throughout my career I’ve never lost sight of the fact that universities are about teaching -".*%#@("@3(=#Z#$()2&#)#,5/$#-()5#(2"*"'12/#23)//7#$)D(#(0(5-# opportunity to engage at hall dinners and other events, and I’ve even played football with some students, albeit Phds!

The university is planning to open a new campus in Shanghai. Why, when we already have six – including one in China already – do we need another one?

Firstly, there are limits to growth at the campus in Ningbo S#"*2(#9(#%($#$"#c7NNN#/$.+(*$/7#$&)$Y/#1$=#!(2"*+3-7#9(Y0(# had an attractive proposition from the Shanghai government and from a private investor who want to build a university of QSl7NNN#/$.+(*$/#91$&#)#8"2./#"*#318(#/21(*2(/7#,$$1*%#1*#@(5fectly with the Shanghai economy. It will provide opportunities for a different set of students and researchers to spend time in China, and to build research capacity there. I hope it comes off.

Afterwards, Professor Greenaway took part in the new !$.+(*$Y/#H*1"*#W"5.'7#&"/$(+#;-#!H#T+.2)$1"*#K8,2(5#>133# 612D8"5+#!'1$&7#)*+#/@"D(#;51(J-#;(8"5(#$)D1*%#`.(/$1"*/#8"5# *()53-#)*#&".5#85"'#)*#).+1(*2(#"8#)5".*+#VN7#9&12&#)@@()5(+# sparse for the size of C11 in Portland. An initially muted at'"/@&(5(#2&)*%(+#&"9(0(5#9&(*#$&(#`.(/$1"*#"8#:T#8.*+1*%# inevitably arose. To the Vice Chancellor’s statement that, “This is not a case of fee verses free,” an irate female undergraduate hit back by claiming this as an example of how, “the debate &)/#;((*#@5(S+(,*(+#)*+#2152.'/251;(+=[#^#8.5$&(5#23)/&# over the morality of dealing with China, ended when Profes/"5#e5((*)9)-#)//(5$(+#$&)$7#FUNN#'1331"*#@("@3(#&)0(#;((*# lifted out of absolute poverty there. Do you think that’s a bad thing?” Questions about Nottingham’s new engagement with 615'1*%&)'#H*10(5/1$-7#@3)*/#$"#;.13+#)#LPN#'1331"*#(2"S&"$(3# on campus, and a wind farm at Grove Farm followed. One audience member questioned why the company running the hopper buses allegedly shuttles people to illegal settlements in Jerusalem. Like everyone else who was there, she was well informed and engaged; it’s a shame there couldn’t have been a few more there. An opportunity like this should be taken advantage of.

Intelligence Officers £24,750 + benefits UK based Analysing information. Spotting connections. Making decisions that really matter. This is what MI5’s dedicated and focused Intelligence Officers do every day. Working together, we help safeguard the security of the nation. This is challenging and vitally important work that demands strong communication, analytical and organisational skills – not to mention a good deal of patience and attention to detail. If you enjoy solving problems, becoming an Intelligence Officer is one of the most rewarding and interesting career paths you could choose. Make sense of it at www.mi5.gov.uk/careers/intelligence To apply you must be over 18 and a British citizen. Discretion is vital. You should not discuss your application, other than with your partner or a close family member.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

19

W Y Z A O R C R THE Sometimes it’s far too easy to get drained by the mundane lifestyle of attending lectures.

The dreary grey Nottingham scenery can suck the energy out of even the most sickeningly &)@@-#"8#@("@3(=#:"9(0(57#$&(/(#2".*$51(/#/(('#$"#&)0(#%"$#$&(#`.15D1*(//#8)2$"5#$"#1*/@15(# even the most unmotivated student. Cue a quick trip to the travel agents for fantasy holidays after reading these bizarre nuggets of innovation from across the globe.

AMERICA We’re still amidst the Spring health kick, so inevitably yoga participation has increased lately, but what if you can’t tempt a friend along to feel the burn? :"9#9133#-".#2"@(#91$&#$&(#3"*(31*(//# in lycra?! Never fear- America has the answer: Doga. Special classes allow you to limber up alongside your furry companion, including moves such as the ‘chaturanga’ (dog sits with @)9/#&(3+#1*#$&(#)15<#)*+#"$&(5#@"/(/# designed to “gently stretch” the pups into shape. I’m guessing only very well behaved dogs are allowed to enter this sanctuary of relaxation. I know that if my own dog were faced with a situation involving both dogs and owners engaging in compromising positions, vulnerable body parts left unguarded, that there would not be a dog left un-sniffed nor a leg left unhumped.

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

GERMANY The German designer, Julia Mai, has revealed a line of luxurious and elegant dog beds. The sleepy canines can retire after a long day of tail-chasing to a lovely padded sleigh where they can ride away to their dreams. For the more high-maintenance pooches, "*3-# $&(# X:)0(*# "8# i.B.5-Y# 9133# '(($# $&(15# $"9(51*%# expectations. This prestigious name refers to a decadent throne-style bed, embedded with sixteen /@)5D31*%#!9)5"0/D1#25-/$)3/=#A(5&)@/#$&(#5(J(2$(+# shine would dazzle the dogs into not tearing the product into pieces. One can only hope…

BE

This was one of the e Light Display in Ko was created by ‘Mod ceiling lights… Behol customers from one d the cashier? Simply p

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It looks as though ‘dri well, kind of. To celeb in Italy, the dealershi beauties for custom became a cinema sc movie was shown, amorous romps in th ,3'#2&"12(#91$&#!1301 on his apparent perm anyone can. Saying questionable levels o pretty sure both me Willis with mixed fee

RLD WE LIVE IN B E T H WA R I N

ELGIUM

exhibits showcased at the International ortrijk, Belgium. This ingenious layout dular’ to reveal its new variety of LED ld: life-size pinball machines to bounce display to the next, then hopefully on to put, I WANT.

JAPAN T)2&# !@51*%# f)@)*(/(# @)5(*$/# J"2D# $"# $&(# !(*/"I1# Temple in Tokyo for a spot of baby baiting, an annual contest seeking the champion of all the little howlers - the baby who can cry for the longest and loudest. Whilst the competitors usually display more ;(913+(5'(*$#$&)*#,%&$1*%#/@151$7#()%(5#'"$&(5/#&)0(# been known to throw in the discreet pinch or two to encourage their little darlings to wail whilst no one’s watching. Yet there is a prize for all their efforts; the ceremony is meant to bring good health to the babies, as well as warding off evil spirits.

ITALY

ive-in’ movies are making a comeback… brate the release of the Mini Countryman ip packed out a hall of these glossy new mers to slide into whilst the back wall creen for the night. Apparently an action possibly as an attempt to discourage he backseat? Perhaps they trialled the 1"#6(53./2"*1#S#18#&(#2".3+#5(/1/$#)2$1*%# manently burning loins, it’s safe to say that, I have witnessed men exhibiting of excitement over explosions and I’m en and women alike look upon Bruce elings of awe and lust.

Ah Japan, you crazy country you, whilst you refuse to display ATMs on the street (no hole-in-the-wall here, -".#&)0(#$"#%"#1*/1+(#)#/$"5(#$"#./(#$&('<7#-".#&)0(#*"# qualms in presenting an array of rather risqué vending machines. Personally, the most interesting and socially acceptable vended item I’ve discovered is a toastie that is pre-heated before being dispensed, yet Japan &)/# +(,*1$(3-# $5.'@(+# $&1/# $)/$-# ,*+=# ^'"*%/$# $&(# /$)*+)5+# +51*D/# )*+# /*)2D/# -".# ')-# )3/"# ,*+# /.2&# bizarre items as an assortment of themed underwear.

That’s right, whether you’re in the mood for an overly caring nurse, or promiscuous schoolgirl, or even )2$5(//# E*"$# )# 23.(<=# 4&1/# ')2&1*(# 1/# (`.1@@(+# 91$&# whatever theme of underwear you fancy, each for the @512(#"8#MNNN-(*]LQ=#6)5%)1*=#

TAIWAN In efforts to save money on water use, the Taiwanese Government are providing incentives to farmers who toilet-train their pigs. Whilst this idea conjures up images of a Pepper Pig look-alike perched upon a gleaming lid of porcelain, the reality is far from the human equivalent. The pigs are coaxed into a corner of the pen (drawn 1*# ;-# $&(# 9)8$/# "8# ().# +(# 3Y$.5+<# where awaits a set of iron bars @"/1$1"*(+# PN2'# "88# $&(# %5".*+=# The pig simply steps between $&(# ;)5/# $"# 8.3,3# $&(15# +.$-# $"# $&(# conscientious government. If all the pigs in Taiwan opted for this environmentally friendly location, water used per day whilst cleaning 9".3+#8)33#;-#QNb=###

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

21

D

esperate

ATING

Attention!

Do you seem to find yourself surrounded by happy couples wherever you go?

Do you spend your nights watching romcoms and sobbing into a tub of Ben & Jerry’s?

Do you seek nothing else than someone to hold you at night?

If these symptoms apply to you, I’m afraid you’re suffering from a case of ‘the lonelies’. In harsher layman’s terms – you’re desperate. There’s no denying it. This desperation disease has been around for a long time. In fact, its roots can be traced back to the beginning of man – Adam, hanging out in the Garden of T+(*7# 9)/# $&(# ,5/$# $"# 8((3# $&"/(# @)*%/# "8# 3"*(31*(//=# i.2D13-# 8"5# &1'7# ;(1*%# "*# )# ,5/$S*)'(# ;)/1/# 91$&# C5=# ^3'1%&$-7# &(# 9)/# able to trade in one of his ribs for a lady-friend of his very own E$&(-# 9(5(*Y$# 23"/(# (*".%&# 8"5# e"+# $"# %10(# &(5# )9)-# 8"5# 85((<=# Unfortunately it’s not quite as easy these days to be cured of singlitis – you’ll often end up spending more than just a rib on the pursuit. Students used to be immune, in particular in the ‘Swinging Sixties’, when free-love was oh so socially acceptable. :"9(0(57#5"')*$12#2"'(+1(/#)*+#$((*#5(3)$1"*/&1@#+5)')/#/(('# $"# &)0(# 9"5*# )9)-# $&1/# 1''.*1$-=# 6.$# +"# *"$# +(/@)15# ?# $"# ,33# this niche in the market, a number of ‘cures’ traditionally used $"#&(3@#$&(#/1*%3(#'1++3(S)%(+#,*+#$&)$#/@(21)3#/"'("*(#&)0(# been adapted for use on students suffering from the deadly virus.

by Stephen Lovejoy

&"'(7# )# 3()J($# 9)/# $&5./$# 1*$"# '-# &)*+# )+0(5$1/1*%# )# /@((+S dating event in the Den on Valentines Day, hosted by PharmSoc. All proceeds were going towards Zambiaids and unsurprisingly I had no other plans, so I did the noble thing and went along. Upon )5510)37#Z#+"*)$(+#$&(#5(`.15(+#LP#)*+#9)/#1''(+1)$(3-#)//1%*(+# )#/$12D(5#3);(331*%#'(#)/#XC_Y#?#$&(#_$&#')3(=#Z#$""D#)#/()$#)*+# waited for the fun to begin. What proceeded was a series of surprisingly entertaining two minute conversations as I made my way clockwise around the room, moving onto the next girl whenever I heard the blast of an air-horn. Particular highlights were being told by one girl that she liked how ‘poofy’ my hair was, and another informing me that I was “the most normal guy there” (a view which probably didn’t bode well for any of the "$&(5#)$$(*+((/#&"@1*%#$"#2&)5'#&(5<=# The setup of this event succeeds in crystallising what I feel to be the most awkward of any date – the very beginning. The timeframe ensures that neither party runs out of questions, ;.$# Z# &)+# )# &"551;3(# J)/&S;)2D# $"# W5(/&(5Y/# >((D# 9&(*# Z# D(@$# being repeatedly asked those terrible two questions: ‘What’s your name?’ and ‘What course are you on?’ Furthermore, conversations were often cut off just when they started to get interesting. We were told to write down the label-numbers of those that we liked. Knowing that by the end of my circulation I did not have the slightest clue of who I’d said what to, I did this as I went along, causing me to lack any subtlety whatsoever as to which girls had impressed me. The next day I received an email with my ‘matches’ - people with whom there’d been a '.$.)3# 1*$(5(/$=# :"9(0(57# $&(# "*3-# +($)13# Z# 9)/# %10(*# 9)/# $&(15# email address and label-number, meaning I had no idea which "8# $&(# %153/# Z# @.$# +"9*# &)+# X')$2&(+S.@Y=# :(337# Z# 2".3+*Y$# (0(*# remember any of the names. I was clearly not alone in this feeling though – when I promptly received an email from one of my ‘matches’, it politely asked me what on earth my name was. The start of a blossoming romance? I think not...

Speed Dating

Online Dating

Warning! Side effects may include: dizziness, memory loss, déjà vu and mild social awkwardness.

Warning! Side effects may include: excessive spam, hidden 2"/$/7# @&"$"S/&"@@(+# @12$.5(/7# 8)D(# @5",3(/# )*+# 0(5-# @""5# grammar

Traditional dating meets musical chairs in this very simple idea – take an equal number of men and women and circulate them $&5".%&#)#/(51(/#"8#`.12DS,5(#+)$(/=#Z#/(('#$"#;(#1*01$(+#$"#/$.+(*$# speed dating events on a regular basis. Recently, during my walk

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

^22"5+1*%# $"# $&(# e.)5+1)*# 1*# PNN_7# ".$# "8# )*# (/$1')$(+# MQ# million UK singletons, 4.7 million were dating online. It’s becoming so popular that there are websites dedicated to

different demographics of the population, including several /$.+(*$S/@(21,2#+)$1*%#9(;/1$(/=#>&(*#Z#/$)5$(+#;5"9/1*%#$&(# different options, I came across StudentKiss, which claimed to be ‘the only student dating & chat site you’ll ever need’. This turned out to be rather untrue as after searching the site and ,*+1*%#*"#1*+12)$1"*#"8#9&(5(#"5#&"9#$"#/1%*#.@7#Z#9)/#8"52(+# to look elsewhere. I eventually settled upon Studentcontacts. com, apparently ‘the leading student dating website in the UK, USA, Europe and rest of the world – with free registration’.

Upon registration it was recommended that I upload a photo and create an ‘advert’ for myself. Feeling a little bit like a cheap @5"/$1$.$(7# Z# ";31%(+# )*+# /$)5$(+# $"# ,33# 1*# '-# @5",3(=# W"5# $&(# personality section, I was asked to select different ‘personality traits’ from a dropdown list – creating a result that was ironically impersonal. I also couldn’t resist the temptation to age myself /31%&$3-# )*+# 2)/.)33-# 31(+# $&)$# '-# ;15$&# -()5# 9)/# M_cc=# ZY'# +(,*1$(3-# *"$# )3"*(# 1*# $&1/# S# )# $&15+# "8# $&(# "*31*(# +)$1*%# ./(5/# 85"'#$&(#e.)5+1)*Y/#/.50(-#)+'1$$(+#$"#3-1*%#1*#$&(15#@5",3(=# K*2(# Z# &)+# ,*1/&(+# (*$(51*%# '-# +($)13/7# '-# )+0(5$# 9)/# produced. It was then that I discovered other users could rate '-#@5",3(=#^8$(5#)337#)*-#1*/(2.5(#/1*%3($"*#$&)$#&)/#5(/"5$(+#$"# online dating wants nothing more than to receive a numerical rating of their sexual appeal, right? I also discovered that as free member, I was only able to message other members

that the site had ‘matched’ with me. If I wanted to choose my own ‘match’ and message her, I had to upgrade and start @)-1*%#L_=_V#)#'"*$&#8"5#$&(#/(5012(=#^/#*"*(#"8#$&(#8(')3(/# automatically ‘matched’ with me were from anywhere close to Nottingham, and I didn’t fancy travelling to go on a date with a total stranger or paying the monthly fee, I unfortunately never got to meet anyone via the online world. Still, I made some enquires on thestudentroom.co.uk and it would seem that many online dating success stories do exist.

Z8# *(1$&(5# "8# $&(# );"0(# `.12D# ,B(/# /".*+# 31D(# -".5# 2.@# "8# $()7# there is an alternative. It’s controversial and risky and something that’s far easier said than done. Stop looking – desperation is a highly catchable disease. No normal person wants to die alone.

It’s all too easy to get scared and panic and wanting a quick-cure is understandable in the middle-aged. But for those of us still in our teens and twenties, what are we so worried about? We’ve got the whole rest of our lives ahead of us. The best relationships evolve when we already know the other person. Perhaps rather $&)*#(*$(5#)5$1,21)3#(*015"*'(*$/#2"*/$5.2$(+#@.5(3-#8"5#,*+1*%# a partner, get to know as many people as possible, just for the sake of knowing them. Strike up conversations at bus stops, queues and coffee shops. Don’t look at everyone as a potential partner. But once you get to know them, you may discover that they’re just the cure you’ve been looking for.

The art of digital enhancement has become ubiquitous 2,/.,+$/!)!:,",%+#$43-3U,+!"$3+1$0)4"#$3+1$.3"$7!'4!3/!1$ most aspects of the media. Celebrities are enhanced in a 7.6",(3)$ 3+1$ 1,-,/3)$ 8%'4$ 3+1#$ 7',%'$ /%$ 0)4,+-#$ &+1!'/3>!$ the rigours of a learned and effective make-up routine performed by professional make-up artists. Models are caked in make-up, photographed, then tweaked again digitally.

Anything from eye whitening to slimming hips is done to portray an unrealistic and unachievable end.

Research has been conducted on the most prominent emblem of unrealistic body proportions: the Barbie doll. Researchers have generated a computer image of what a woman with Barbie

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

doll proportions would look like. Turns out, in the real word, Barbie’s body would be far too narrow to accommodate her liver 1*#1$/#(*$15($-#E$&".%&#1$#2".3+#')*)%(#&)38<#)*+#"*3-#)#'()/3-# few centimetres of bowel. Not to mention the fact that her back would not be strong enough to support the weight from her upper body, and that a real woman with these proportions would ;(#1*J12$(+#91$&#2&5"*12#+1)55&"()#)*+#@(51/&#85"'#')3*".51/&ment. Poor Ken. In this age of instant media we are relentlessly bombarded with images of ‘perfect’ people – these cosmetically, physically, digitally enhanced celebrities whom we probably see more of than our family. It is no surprise then that the youth of today, girls in particular, have the lowest self-esteem ever observed. Bliss

S

tephanie oh

')%)j1*(#/.50(-(+#P7NNN#%153/#)*+#8".*+#$&)$#lVb#"8#$&('#8(3$# that they needed to lose weight and that the same number of girls under the age of 13 in the survey had already tried dieting.

4&(/(# ,%.5(/# )5(# /&"2D1*%7# -($# 2"'(# )/# *"# /.5@51/(# 9&(*# young girls are besieged with unattainable ideals. Keira Knightley is presented on promotional King Arthur material with a cleavage that belies its natural proportions. She has openly criticised the fact that her breasts are always digitally enhanced for the US media: “I don’t have any tits, so I can’t show cleavage. But you’re not actually allowed to be on a magazine cover in the US without at least a C-cup because it turns people off.”

Kate Winslet decried her digital alterations made at the behest of GQ magazine when she appeared on their front cover.

In an unprecedented move, Debenhams has banned digital touching-up for their swimwear advertising campaign, proclaiming “We’ve not messed with natural beauty: this image is un-airbrushed. What do you think?” They even released a before and after image of the model being airbrushed in which she was slimmed, her skin was darkened and her hair was '"+1,(+#$"#(*/.5(#$&)$#*"$#)#/1*%3(#/$5)*+#9)/#".$#"8#@3)2(=# >1$&#$&(#)+0(*$#"8#&1%&#+(,*1$1"*#$(3(01/1"*#E:g4h<#$&(#/1$.)tion looks like it’s going to get worse before it gets even worse, with make-up artists scrambling for better, lighter make-up $&)$#9133#')D(#2(3(;51$1(/#3""D#'"5(#J)93(//#$&)*#(0(5#1*#&1%&# +(,*1$1"*=## All this is war waged by the media who are eschewing the normal and natural in their attempt to project a false, socially-constructed, insalubrious ideal of perfection. This practice is not conducive to the fragile self-esteem of teens, women and men everywhere. After all, even model Cindy Crawford proclaimed “Even I don’t look like [me] in the morning,” prompting many, hopefully, to rethink the standards upheld by the media in its habit of publishing false images.

From the media we can observe that incredibly good-looking celebrities are unsurprisingly endowed with a fabulous wardrobe that far surpasses the generosity of student loans. Considering the fact that many celebrities our age have released a /1*%3(7#/$)55(+#1*#)#,3'#)*+#&)0(#')5D($(+#$&(15#"9*#85)%5)*2(# before puberty, its no wonder us mere mortals often feel left by the wayside.

For students, on top of looking good and ensuring a decent knowledge of the latest Topshop trend, we must achieve at least a 2.1 in our degrees, obtain that coveted internship in second year and participate in extracurricular activities like there’s no tomorrow. Add to that the pressure to go out and @)5$-# 31D(# 1$/# M___# (0(5-# "$&(5# +)-# )*+# ;(# );3(# $"# )88"5+# $&(# new ‘it’ item, all with a beautiful smile on our face, perfectly backcombed hair and up-to-the-minute fashionable clothes, its clear that we as students are very much trapped in the throes of a consumerist society.

This escalating pressure to look good is uncomfortable and unjust; dare to be different, put down the mascara before lectures and stop detagging those Facebook photos. If we don’t, then unattainable ideals will be perpetuated for years and years to come.

Impact Columnist

Indecision Cr-Isis or Bodega? Extortionate pimping student pad or cheap and skanky crack den? Team Sparkly Pouting Vampire or Team Gratuitously Topless Werewolf?

Even if you’re not a gormless teenage girl with the ability to attract ;5""+1*%# C4hS851(*+3-# :)33"9((*# $-@(/# +(/@1$(# -".5# "9*# 251@@31*%# passivity, indecision can attack you on all frontiers of life. For instance, when I’m standing in the skincare aisle in Boots systematically reading 3);(3/#"*#$.;/#"8#'"1/$.51/(5#?#1*#)*#)$$('@$#$"#,*+#)*#(31B15#$&)$#9133# make me look a little more Lucy Liu, a little less Mr Miyagi - I can’t pick between the one with 24-carat pentapeptide horseshit and the other one containing nymphomaniac moonpig biospheres. And should I plump for that nondescript tube of cream, or is it worth forking out ,8$-# `.1+# '"5(# 8"5# $&(# 3)$(/$# 2"*2"2$1"*# ;-# T/$((# i).+(5d# 4"# I./$18-# that kind of price disparity, the difference must be that the former is like rubbing a sausage roll over your face, whilst the latter presumably contains some magical ingredient excreted by Albus Dumbledore and cultivated in the Loire Valley.

Z$Y/#+18,2.3$#$"#')D(#)#$5.3-#5)$1"*)3#+(21/1"*#);".$#)*-#"8#$&1/=#T/@(21)33-# when businesses compete for customers by arbitrarily attaching fantasy lifestyles to products which are in fact essentially the same – a practise also known as advertising. What’s the difference between this can of deodorant and that one? Not much, except apparently one makes your girlfriend love you more and the other makes women want to have sex with you in Tesco. As well as being inundated by an overwhelming quantity of consumer choice, the modern condition of indecisiveness can also be caused by advancements in social mobility.

Greater equality of opportunity means that just because you’re born in Yorkshire doesn’t mean that you have to work in a mine. Shockingly, you can also do other stuff, like become an investment banker or go on 4&(#o#W)2$"5#)*+#$&)$=#:"9(0(57#$&1/#2)*#"8$(*#'()*#$&)$#-".*%#@("@3(# and graduates experience the increasingly common quarter-life crisis.

Plot lines narrow the narrative of our lives. Whether you decide you’re %"1*%#$"#;(#)#&1%&#J-1*%#21$-#/312D(5#"5#)5(#@5(+(/$1*(+#$"#;(2"'(#!1'"*# Cowell’s bitch, you are also deciding not to be a Nobel Prize winning physicist, or to save small children and animals in some impoverished part of the world. It can further be noted that jumping to decisions $""# `.12D3-# ?# )*+# 91$&".$# 0)31+# I./$1,2)$1"*# ?# 2)*# &)0(# +)*%(5"./# consequences. Do foreigners have a basic human right to seek a better life in another country, or must we curb immigration in order to prioritise the wellbeing of the existing population? Is promiscuity a sign of freedom or depravity? Should the Kings of Leon have stuck to their kooky brand of hillbilly rock, or is Ocean a better place because of Sex on Fire? Sometimes it is okay to not believe that there is an answer, but rather to acknowledge the sheer complexity of the situation.

At the same time the world cannot consist entirely of armchair @&13"/"@&(5/# )*+# 5(J(2$10(# /$"*(5/7# @(5@($.)33-# 3"2D(+# 1*# /"'(# existential quandary. We need people to take charge, to make a stand, to drive change in a certain direction. It is decision makers who make the world go round.

Clearly, sometimes you’ve just got to decide when to decide. Argh.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

25

Reading Between The Lines

Image by Rachel Tait

Visiting a clairvoyant is an experience often shrouded in secrecy and controversy regarding their expected broad and unsubstantial claims. Given this, we sent two Impacters to a local psychic for a palm and tarot reading to shed some light on the process and see what, or if, they could gain from the experience. In the interests of fairness, we sent a ditzy, gullible blonde who claimed she was a ‘believer’, along with a suited and booted, no-nonsense sceptic.

Shaun Reeve the sceptic: T0(5-#9)3D#1*$"#.*10(5/1$-#1/#+18,2.3$#8"5#'(#;(cause I can’t walk upon three drains in a row, for fear of bad luck. I don’t really know why I refuse to walk across them – I think the logic is that they might bring about bad things, so why risk it? The same applies to good luck – I’m not going to waste my special robot boxers on any old occasion, when they are destined to bring triumph in exams and assist me in facing new challenges.

Keeping this in mind, I was sceptical of visiting a clairvoyant, but perhaps more worried about my 5()2$1"*#$"#1$=#:"9#9)/#Z#/.@@"/(+#$"#D*"9#9&)$# effect it would have on me – would I get the rational and critical Shaun who can debate the merits of Keynesian economics, or the unreasoned, emotional Shaun that secretly thinks Aladdin is $&(#;(/$#,3'#(0(5d Meeting Robert, the clairvoyant, put my fears to rest. It is hard to take seriously someone who %5(($/#-".#1*#)#9""33-#&)$7#&)/#3()J($/#"*#X@($# bereavement’ and whose comment book read, “I feel really energised by the colour therapy. I felt lacking in certain colours and felt energised by $&(#@5"2(//[=#:)01*%#*(0(5#8(3$#3)2D1*%#1*#2"3".57# which I’m not convinced is possible, I prepared myself for the palm and tarot reading, taking comfort in my obvious superiority to the fools that would fall for this nonsense. Until the reading itself, that is.

R";(5$#,5/$#%)0(#'(#$&(#$)5"$#2)5+/#)*+#9(*$#$"# the other side of the room to “give my aura some space”, while I contemplated what I wanted out of the reading. Unfortunately I couldn’t help but spend some time wondering how big an aura actually is, before remembering the task in hand.

26

ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

The choices were endless and mostly clichéd. Love would have made the entire situation seem like the opening scene of a bad rom-com. Career is something that, even as )#,*)3#-()5#/$.+(*$#91$&#*"#.@2"'1*%#2)reer prospects, is a locked door that I’m /$133#,5'3-#1%*"51*%=#!"#Z#/($$3(+#"*#$&1*Ding about something much more vague and general – to the good of the method, @5";);3-7#)*+#+(,*1$(3-#$"#$&(#%""+#"8# Robert. For what young person doesn’t wonder about who they really are, and who they want to be and whether becoming ‘them’ is even possible?

4&(#.*0(131*%#"8#$&(#,5/$#2)5+# had an anti-climactic feel – I was anticipating something as exciting as Father Christmas, but instead got a different fat man asking me to sit on his lap and reveal my desires. It was The Emperor, which although sounding glamorous basically stated that if you try hard at what you are doing, you will be rewarded. Although I do need to remind myself of this occasionally, particularly before an essay is due, such a statement can’t be considered anything more mystical than common sense.

At this point I was in full awe of the practice of clairvoyance, relishing the praise and envisioning grand possibilities for myself. Robert then sheepishly asked if he could look at my palm, and although I was paying for this service, I granted it to him as if I was giving him

)#8)0".5=#:(#)3'"/$#/`.()3(+#91$&#+(31%&$#9&13(#(B21$(+3-# pointing out how detailed and complex my palms were, and $&(#5()+1*%#;(2)'(#1*25()/1*%3-#J)$$(51*%#)/#1$#@5"%5(//(+=# :)01*%#(B$"33(+#$&(#015$.(/#"8#'-#(B2(@$1"*)33-#3.2D-#@)3'/7# Robert concluded that habits cultivated in my past have led me to a potentially amazing outcome – in the future, I could be astounding. If it’s even possible to be more astounding than I am already.

Mentally preparing myself for the experience, I had the idea that Robert would be trying to get clues and would probe me for information, much like you would probe the Facebook page of a distant crush. Although in this case the knowledge would be used to gain credibility, rather than to sustain hope that a shared interest in Coco Pops might ignite a @)//1"*)$(#3"0(#)88)15=#:(#/(('(+#0(5-#*"*2&)3)*$#);".$#$&(#9&"3(#@5"2(//#?#&1/#)15#"8#2"*,dence was infectious, and it made that un-rational side of me take over. In hindsight I think what he said would apply to many people, but I feel it was relevant to me. Striving for the greatness can only be a good thing, so why not believe in clairvoyance just like wearing those robot boxers when I really need them?

Chloe Painter the believer: I’ll admit that despite studying a science, I am still fairly susceptible to believing in paranormal activity. And it would seem I’m not alone – the Parapsychological Association recently reported that a Plb#"8#$&(#@"@.3)$1"*#"8#$&(#Hn# are also believers. Worryingly for my parents, as a teenager I became a bit obsessive about the paranormal, at one stage ;(1*%#,B)$(+#91$&#25-/tals and even ‘charging’ them by moonlight. One unforgettable Christmas, my parents stupidly gave me a pack of tarot cards, which brought the mood of the day down somewhat when I tried them out on my Mum and concluded that we would be destitute in the next three months.

I also had my astrological chart sent to me when I was 12, which is basically a lifetime horoscope based upon the planetary positions at birth.

For you sceptics, I gave them only my

,5/$#*)'(7#)#851(*+Y/#)++5(//#)*+#@)1+#1*#2)/&=#Z#+.%#1$#".$#I./$# a few days ago and funnily enough it said, “I will take a strong 1*$(5(/$#1*#$&(#*(93-#+(0(3"@1*%#,(3+#"8#2"%*1$10(#*(.5"/21(*2es and have an urge to have a comprehensive understanding of neural circuits that explain behaviour”. Well, I study cognitive neuroscience and psychology, but as for the “comprehensive understanding”, my marks would indicate otherwise!

Living up to all my expectations, the Nottingham-based clairvoyant we booked with was pretty zany. Pausing midsentence every time he spoke to leave awkward silences, he welcomed me to the reading and commenced with a colour therapy session. Also known as chromotherapy, the alternative medicine method proposes that one can lack mental and physical strength from different colour energies. I was made to stand with my eyes shut, holding different colour silk ribbons whilst the reader intermittently pushed and tugged on my right arm, occasionally screeching that I was only a six and a half in purple, and even more worryingly, only a 5 in red and if I was 8((31*%#Knd#:(#(B@3)1*(+#$"#'(#$&)$#$&(/(#,*+1*%/#'()*$#$&)$# I had problems with my throat, spine, eyes, mouth, hands and /)-1*%#*"#$"#$&1*%/=#:(#/$)5(+#)$#'(#91$&#@1(521*%#;3.(#(-(/#8"5# )#%""+#'1*.$(7#;(8"5(#/9(($3-#)/D1*%#F:"9#&)0(#-".#%"*(#"*# this long?” g.(#$"#'-#+($51'(*$)3#2"3".5#+(,21$/7#Z#9)/#')+(#$"#9()5# coloured glasses whilst some ‘code words’ were chanted at me. The whole pushing on my arm debacle continued, yet this time he kept proudly exclaiming that I had gained a ten in purple. I am still at a complete loss as to what I’d done to earn this accolade. The entire procedure was beyond bizarre, the coloured plastic glasses made me feel extremely nauseous and if anything the experience left me feeling rather blue!

Obviously, using his sixth sense, the clairvoyant could tell I was less than impressed, so we swiftly moved on to tarot reading.

Dating back to the thirteenth century, tarot involved a pack of cards, each with a unique representational image that is believed to have a meaning based on the order in which they are read or turned over. Our clairvoyant made it very clear that the cards do not predict the future, but merely can guide you to )*#)*/9(5#"5#@)$&9)-=#>&13/$#/3"93-#/&.8J1*%7#-".#)5(#(*2".5aged to ask the cards a question to focus on. I was stumped, so settled upon “What will make me happy?” Traditionally you turn over 7 cards, however I went for a ‘free reading’ whereby Z#@3)2(+#)/#')*-#2)5+/#)/#Z#31D(+#EZ#2&"/(#MN<#)*-9&(5(#"*#$&(# candle lit table in front. I appeared to have an obsession with pairs, which he interpreted as a battle between me wanting to be good/bad, and work/play – but surely everyone has this @5(+12)'(*$d#:(#3""D(+#)$#'-#@)/$#)*+#2"*23.+(+#$&)$#ZY+# fought to break from a troubled childhood, and asserted that if I continue to work hard my future will be everything I want it to. Let’s face it – he can tell I’m a student, so to say that I’m probably awash with work and knee deep in a dissertation is fairly obvious.

Once we left, I felt pretty good – actually, I felt excellent. I’d been told my palm was “extraordinary”, my tarot reading “was one of the best” and a “privilege to perform”, and I left feeling paranormally superior, if that’s even possible. Once I’d returned home and my housemates had burst my bubble, I &)+#)#31$$3(#$1'(#$"#5(J(2$#)*+#2)'(#$"#)#/31%&$3-#'"5(#/(*/1;3(# conclusion. You can take anything you want from a reading, but as corny as it is, you are ultimately the only one in control of your future, not some grubby cards.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

27

Rachel Vora

VENTS WAVE FAREWELL TO FACEBOOK

I’ve done it. I just deactivated Facebook. And it almost feels like I’ve been handed an abundance of free time. In all honesty, I spent an unhealthy amount of time on it, not doing very much at all. It upsets me that ‘facebooking’ has even become a verb and therefore has actually been accepted in society as an activity. Sitting on your ass at a computer is classed as ‘doing something’. Now that’s depressing.

I’m not denying that Facebook is an absolute genius of a website, far beyond anything I could ever create. But I just feel it’s gone too far. I like to be in touch. I like to know what’s going on. But knowing that “Sarah is at Starbucks on Stockport Road with Melissa, Alex and Sam”. REALLY? Now that is just encouraging real-life /$)3D1*%=#p".#9".3+*Y$#,*+#1$#)22(@$);3(#18#/"'("*(#8"33"9(+#-".# into Starbucks, would you? And where will it end? Will next week tell us that Sarah is in Starbucks drinking a Caramel Frappuccino on the third table from the window next to the man with the blue hat? It’s ridiculous.

The days before Facebook weren’t that bad, were they? Maybe I didn’t know as many useless details about people that I probably don’t even speak to, but in hindsight I would say that ignorance 1/# '"/$# +(,*1$(3-# ;31//=# 4&(5(# )5(# ')*-# $&1*%/# $&)$# Z# I./$# +"*Y$# need to know. And if I do, then surely someone would pick up the phone, or, God forbid, actually have a face-to-face conversation.

That’s the other thing that grates about Facebook. With a click of a button, people can wander into your life, see how you’re doing, what you’ve been up to, stare at your pictures and then leave. All without a word. What happened to the good old conversation?

People who actually make an effort to text, call or come and see you are the ones I really want to welcome into my life. Those are the people I would classify as ‘friends’. Not the ones who just ‘like’ your pictures or write on your wall once a year to say F:)@@-#;15$&+)-[=# So with that I say farewell, Facebook. I realise I’m probably ,%&$1*%# )# 3"/1*%# ;)$$3(# /$)*+1*%# )%)1*/$# $&(# ')I"51$-# ;.$# ZY'# sticking to my guns with this one. At least for now. So if you want to know if I’ve gained twenty pounds, dyed my hair turquoise or got a new boyfriend I guess you’ll have to pick up the phone and speak to me. I’m not asking you to get your pigeon to deliver me a handwritten letter, it’s just dialling some numbers. And if that’s too much effort, I guess the sad fact is we were never really friends anyway.

So... no more invitations to Farmville. No more ‘liking’. No more friend requests from Abdul in Mongolia. My life is looking brighter already.

RAVE

YOUR

HER

SPLEEN ON SAYING

Emma Harwood on

THE RISK AVERSE Some people call me paranoid. I call it cautious. I salute any dedication to being ‘sensible’. If someone coughs +!3'$4!#$"%4!/,4!"$J$.%)1$46$*'!3/.$&+/,)$J$0+1$()!3+$ air. I once had a debate with a friend who was planning on skydiving; when I asked why he wanted to throw himself out of a plane he reasoned that “it’s just one of those things you have to do”. Funnily, it’s really not up there on my list. Neither is potential premature death by freefall compatible with any immediate plans /%$ -'31&3/!$ 3+1$ /'3:!)V$ W,8!$ %+$ /.,"$ 7)3+!/$ ,"$ Q!!/,+-$ enough without willingly soaring to stratospheric levels and then jumping back down to earth. It’s sort of like /3>,+-$/.!$!)!:3/%'$/%$/.!$/%7$Q%%'$%+)6$/%$1!(,1!$/.3/$ it’s easier and quicker to jump out the window on /.!$236$1%2+V$C.6$+%/$I&"/$Q6$3$>,/!$3+1$!F7!',!+(!$ 4&(.$/.!$"34!$/.',))$%8$Q6,+-$2,/.$6%&'$8!!/$"/,))$%+$/.!$ ground?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fairly outdoors-y kind of girl – I like change, new experiences and I’m not afraid of a challenge. I like to live a little. Once, walking into campus, I even walked in the road when it was too icy on the pavement. So I’m not the incarnation of health and safety gone mad. But do believe in doing everyone a favour and remembering to look before crossing the road. And no, of course you won’t be able to hear that car approaching if your headphones are in your ears. When driving I keep to the speed limit. There are plenty of other ways to live life in the fast lane. Ideally, go lane swimming at your local pool.

I have more respect for those that take life into their own hands instead of relying on a piece of rope or parachute. ^# 3()@# "8# 8)1$&d# :"9# );".$# )# $)'(# %)'(# "8# 3()@85"%d# Dangerously over-excited recklessness can easily lead our young and healthy bones astray. I still think you should do something that scares you every day, as long as the .3$1')$(#5(/.3$#1/#2"*,+(*2(#;""/$1*%#)*+#*"$#@"1*$3(//3-# and utterly terrifying. Let’s hear it for good, clean, old8)/&1"*(+#8.*k#K*(#+)-#Z#9133#,*+#'-#/".3#')$(7#)$#)#@)5$-# buffet where we are both removing the cocktail sticks 85"'#,*%(5#8""+=#g"#-".#9)*$#)*#1*$(5*)3#/@31*$(5#91$&#$&)$# sausage?

ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE ?

26 March 2011

Image from Eight Point Two

Leicester Tigers Stadium Welford Road, Leicester

Abseil 80 feet and raise money to end poverty www.christianaid.org.uk/abseil IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM 61

Students’ Union

2011

Elections

SU Elections 2011

Use your vote!

The nominations are in for the SU Elections 2011, make sure you use your vote from 4th - 11th March!

As a student at the University of Nottingham, you are automatically a member of the Students’ Union, and therefore eligible to vote for the people you want to run the Students’ Union and represent students on key issues during 2011-12.

These Main Elections will decide the members of three important SU committees; the SU Exec, Representational Officers and Faculty Co-ordinators. The people you elect will make a big difference to your University life, whether in relation to your course, your welfare, your personal development or your social life. If you’re a member of a society, taken part in a Volunteering project through the SVC, received advice from the Student Advice and Representation Centre, or bought a drink in Mooch, you have come into contact with the work they have done. Whoever is elected will shape and develop these services in the future, so it’s important that you vote for the people you think will do the best job in representing you and the things you want.

WHERE CAN I KEEP UP TO DATE WITH THE ELECTIONS?

All our media services (NUTS, URN and Impact) will be covering all the information you need to know about the elections and the candidates. The candidates will also be out and about telling you why you should give them your vote!

How do I vote?

SO, HOW DO YOU CAST YOUR VOTE? IT’S EASY! 1. Check out the candidates online: www.su.nottingham.ac.uk/elections or look at an SU Elections Manifesto Booklet (available from Voting Information Stations in the Portland Building, George Green Library, QMC Medical School entrance, Hallward Library, Sutton Bonington Library and the Jubilee Exchange Building.)

2. Log into the University Portal using your University login 3. Click on Elections 4. Click on “SU Elections” 5. Cast your Vote!

WHO WINS? YOU DECIDE! MAKE SURE YOU USE YOUR VOTE FROM 4TH – 11TH MARCH su.nottingham.ac.uk

Exposure

Showcasing the best of University of Nottingham student photography

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ISSUE 206 | NOVEMBER 2010

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

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Image by Joy Ng

Image by Aniec Liu

STILL THE TOPSHOP? THE LASH EFFECT

TREND PROFILE ‘FANCY FINGERWORK’

NEW YORK, LONDON, MILAN, PARIS....

NOTTINGHAM THE KEY CATWALK TRENDS ON A STUDENT BUDGET

S/S BOW N I A R WAY N U R

Think... pleated maxis and pastel palettes...

... as seen at Richard Nicholl Accessorise with...

Previous Page: Top – New Look Skirt – Vero Moda This Page: Top – Vintage Maxi Skirt – American Apparel Shoes – New Look Belt – Topshop

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

... as seen at Phillip Lim

Accessorise with...

This Page: i)2(#63"./(#S#:qC Coral Blouse – New Look Shorts – Topshop Shoes – Carvela Ring – New Look

Photography: Matt Turner and Tara Wallace Editing: Matt Turner Styled & Directed by: Charlotte Gelipter and Jasmin Watts Hair: Charmaine )$#gfY/#H*1/(B#:)15+5(//(5/7#W15/$#W3""5#"8#$&(#"3+#A"5$3)*+#6.13+1*%=#NMMQ#_QM#UMlP##Makeup: Charlotte Gelipter and Charlotte Rottenburg Model: Lara Bowell

Think... layer colourclashing separates...

Still the TopShop?

by Lizzie Neep

T

.!$"/%'6$*!-,+"$,+$X.!80!)1#$;YNZ$2,/.$3$"43))$1!73'/ment inside the Peter Robinson store. 50 years later and this small department has grown into one of the world’s largest high street fashion stores, with approximately 300 in the UK and many more in over 20 countries worldwide.

MO#$"#PQS-()5S"3+/Y#)*+#1*#M_c_#$&)$#$&(#X/$"5(/#)5(#5(0)'@(+# 91$&#)#*(97#'"5(#)8J.(*$#2./$"'(5#1*#'1*+=Y#!1*2(#$&1/#+)$(7# the price of Topshop’s products has continued to rise. Often I./$1,(+#;-#$&(#1'@5"0(+#@5"+.2$#`.)31$-#)*+#$&(#8)2$#$&)$#$&(# store now sees more designer-input, as prices soar, Topshop’s target demographic is becoming progressively convoluted.

Considering the store’s humble origins, its success is undeniable. Its current popularity, on the other hand, is much more debateable. Today, two opposing opinions ring loud and clear.

4&(#,5/$#/((/#4"@/&"@#)/#)#&1%&#/$5(($]+(/1%*(5#&-;51+7#)*+# the second opinion screams ‘backlash’. This group claims Topshop has failed to establish its place among the fashion elite, but continues to charge ‘high fashion’ prices without the ‘high fashion’ standard.

Topshop’s rise in fashion prestige and its subsequent price inJ)$1"*#&)0(#.*+".;$(+3-#3"/$#$&(#/.@@"5$#"8#)#3)5%(#2)$(%"5-#"8# shoppers who have decided they will get more for their money by shopping elsewhere. On the other hand, such changes have attracted an older demographic of fashion-forward adults, who )5(#);3(#$"#)88"5+#$&(/(#)'@31,(+#@512(/=#>1$&#$&1/#*(9#$)5%($# audience in mind, it doesn’t take long to see why Topshop designs have become more mature, sophisticated and often racier than a few short years ago. This change in direction would not be so problematic if it were not for the younger consumers, originally targeted, who continue to remain dedicated to their favourite fashion store. Young teenagers continue to shop at Topshop despite the fact the clothes are now pitched at a higher age group. Many of the store’s trends, such as the %3)'"51/)$1"*#"8#X&(5"1*#2&12Y#)*+#3)/$#-()5Y/#,%.5(S&.%%1*%# body-cons encouraged many young girls to dress inappropriately for their age.

Z*#G"0(';(5#PNMN7#G"$$1*%&)'Y/#h12$"51)#\(*$5(#4"@/&"@# hosted an event titled ‘Pop-up Magazine’ which I thought might shed some light on this debate. Listening to one of Elle’s fashion editors talk us through the latest ‘looks’ I certainly felt like a ‘high fashion’ journalist. The store presents various collections each season in the same way a designer would and these fashion lines award Topshop a level of creative direction that sets it apart from its competitors. So far, designer collections have included the creations of Swedish designer Ann!",(7#651$1/&#+(/1%*(5#f"*)$&)*#!).*+(5/#)*+#i"*+"*S;)/(+# +(/1%*(5#^/&1/&7#91$&#'"+(3#n)$(#C"//Y/#8".5$((*$&#)*+#,*)3# mainline collection signalling an end to her three-year partnership with the store. such collaborations have succeeded in bringing an element of a designer’s creative input directly onto $&(#/&"@#J""57#)*+#@.$#4"@/&"@#,5'3-#"*#$&(#8)/&1"*#')@=# Z*#PNNQ7#4"@/&"@Y/#XH*1`.(#\"33(2$1"*Y#;(2)'(#$&(#,5/$# &1%&#/$5(($#5)*%(#$"#$)D(#$"#$&(#2)$9)3D#)/#@)5$#"8#$&(#"8,21)3# /2&(+.3(#"8#i"*+"*#W)/&1"*#>((D=#>1$&#PNMN#2"33(2$1"*/#9(33# received by designers and the media alike, such praise for their in-house designs suggests that Topshop have managed to establish themselves as a major style authority, but many argue this transition has come at a cost. The Arcadia Group to 9&12&#4"@/&"@#;(3"*%/7#/$)$(/#"*#$&(15#9(;/1$(#$&)$#1*#M_VU# Topshop was ‘launched as a standalone business targeting

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

Most forward-thinking, fashion conscious types value the importance of individual style and want to stand out from )#25"9+=#4&1/#;(2"'(/#+18,2.3$#9&(*#')*-#-".*%(5#%153/# are making the same statement by wearing the same thing.

Among those conscious of the ‘Topshop clone’ problem, the store is seen as seriously generic and vintage boutiques and independent charity stores are enjoying a heyday as a result.

Topshop has successfully made a name for itself in the high fashion industry, but unlike high fashion designers, Topshop clothing is worn by an increasingly wide selection of society.

No matter how forward-thinking and creative the designs, Topshop clothing will never enjoy the prestige associated with top-end design, and the clones will continue to multiply.

The Lash Effect

By Emma-Jane Steele

W

ith fake eyelashes apparently de rigueur in 10am )!(/&'!"$R"7%//!1$0'"/$.3+1S#$,/$"!!4"$/.3/$83)",!"$ are becoming a style staple for many. If you’ve yet to take the plunge, here are our top tips and tricks for the 7!'8!(/$Q&//!'V Prepare the Canvas.

Make sure your eyelids are clean, dry and free from traces of makeup. The adhesive glue will not stick as effectively if there are traces of oil on the skin.

Get the Right Fit No two eyes are the same size or shape and so it follows that 8)3/(#(-(3)/&(/#')-#*((+#$"#;(#)+I./$(+#$"#,$#-".5#3)/&#31*(=# Whether you’re enhancing your natural look or going for fullblown Lady Gaga eyes, falsies that are simply too long across the lash line will look out of place. Trim false lashes down to size before applying.

Sticky Situation Try to purchase fake eyelashes that come with a separate tube of adhesive glue. This means that you can always re-stick lashes that have started to fall away. Don’t worry if they aren’t )#J)93(//#,$#9&(*#,5/$#)@@31(+7#-".#2)*#/$133#)+I./$#$&('#;(8"5(# the glue dries.

Tools of the Trade H/1*%#-".5#,*%(5/#$"#)@@3-#$&(#3)/&#%3.(#1/*Y$#5(2"''(*+(+#?# 1$#)33#%($/#)#;1$#/$12D-#)*+#,++3-=#!"'(#"@$#8"5#)#2"$$"*#;.+#$"# apply the glue and a pair of tweezers to tease the lashes into @3)2(=## H/(#,*%(5/#$"#@5(//#$&(#8)3/1(/#1*$"#@3)2(7#/$)5$1*%# with the inner corner of the eye.

Hide the Evidence A heavy coat of eyeliner will help to cover up any leftover drops of glue or gaps that reveal those XXL lashes may not be yours.

Be sure to get right into the lash roots and smudge to create a softer line.

Wide Open Even when not applying false eyelashes an eyelash curler is an absolute must have. Curling your lashes and falsies will help to ;3(*+#$&('#$"%($&(5=#:"3+#1*#@3)2(#8"5#)#8(9#/(2"*+/#$"#25()$(# an instantly doe-eyed look. Try Shu Uemura eyelash curlers ELM_=QN<# Go Green Recycle your eyelashes! Lots of people think this is unhygienic, but you can reuse the same pair up to ten times if you keep them in good condition. Do not just pull the lashes away – use eye make-up remover to dissolve the glue. Peel from the outer corner, remove any glue residue and you’re good to go again.

!"#$%&'"()*#+& ‘Fancy Fingerwork’

By Charlotte Gelipter

S

@51*%]!.''(5#PNMM#1/#"9*1*%#$&(#@)/$(3#$5(*+#91$&#12(S cream hues dominating the catwalk and high street and even it seems, our nails.

6)55-#C#1/#/-*"*-'"./#91$&#%31$j#Eg)jj3(#g./$<#)*+#@"@#2"3".5/# EG)13#A)1*$<7#)*+#8"5#-()5/#')*-#&)0(#1*+.3%(+#1*#$&(#@12#X*Y#'1B# products offered by the brand. This S/S sees a new nail sensa$1"*#&1$$1*%#$&(#:1%&#!$5(($/#S#6)55-#C#G)13#T88(2$/=#

An instant sell-out hit, you can get your mitts on this new nail 0)5*1/&#9"*+(5#8"5#I./$#LO=__#85"'#"8,21)3#/$"2D1/$/#6""$/#)*+# Superdrug or online at www.barrym.com, where this is also a handy ‘how to’ video tutorial.

Nail Effects works by ‘cracking’ a top coat over a base coat.

Simply apply a base coat of your favourite colour (after much experimentation pastels seem to work best as Nail Effects are "*3-#)0)13);3(#1*#;3)2D<=#>)1$#8"5#-".5#2"3".5(+#;)/(#2")$#$"#+5-# before applying a layer of the black Barry M Instant Nail Effects "0(5#$&(#$"@#"8#$&(#"$&(5#0)5*1/&=#^8$(5#ON#/(2"*+/#$&(#;3)2D# top coat will begin to crack before your very eyes, leaving a relief pattern on your nails. As this process is different every time, you will always be left with a unique manicure – ranging from egg-shell effects to tiger-like stripes.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/STYLE

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f film

A SIDEWAYS LOOK AT PAUL GIAMATTI -Tom Grater

Recently, the Guardian’s David Thompson described acclaimed actor Paul Giamatti as seeming “much older, darker and sadder” than his age of 43 would suggest. While the article in question isn’t explicitly negative, I felt that Giamatti perhaps deserved a little more credit for sustaining what has so far been a thoroughly absorbing career.

After distinguishing himself in academia, eventually culminating in a Masters degree in Fine Arts from Yale, he got his ;1%#;5()D#1*#$&(#,3'#)+)@$)$1"*#"8#:"9)5+# !$(5*Y/# A510)$(# A)5$/=# :"9(0(57# 1$# $""D# .*$13# PNNU# 8"5# &1'# $"# 5()2&# $&(# 3(0(3# "8# prominence he has plateaued at now. The role that achieved this came in Alexander Payne’s hit comedy, Sideways, in which he played Miles, a failed writer and wine snob extraordinaire. Post-Sideways, Giamatti has taken numerous leads in *"*S')1*/$5()'#,3'/7#)*+#&)/#5(2(10(+# .*10(5/)3#@5)1/(#8"5#&1/#@(58"5')*2(/=#:(# has followed a trend of interjecting his

40

work in independent cinema with smaller roles in bigger, more middle of the road ,3'/r#&(#&)+#/')33#@)5$/#1*#!)01*%#A510)$(# Ryan and Shoot ‘Em Up, and has also had several successful supporting roles in The Illusionist, Paycheck and most famously Cinderella Man, for which he received an Oscar nomination.

While Sideways, along with the recently released Barney’s Version (for which he /2""@(+#&1/#,5/$#e"3+(*#e3";(<7#')-#;(# &1/#'"/$#@5"31,2#9"5D#1*#21*(')7#)5%.);3-# his biggest role to date has come on television. Giamatti took the lead in the :6K# PNNc# '1*1S/(51(/# f"&*# ^+)'/=# g15(2$(+#;-#4"'#:""@(57#5(2(*$3-#"8#4&(# King’s Speech fame, the programme recounted the tale of the American War of Independence, and subsequently the ,5/$#,8$-#-()5/#"8#$&(#H*1$(+#!$)$(/=#4&(# show was a resounding critical success and even though the supporting cast was a remarkably strong one, it was Giamatti who stood out the most in the role of Adams himself, earning many plaudits for his performance.

Paul Giamatti’s ability to lift everything he stars in makes him an extremely 0)3.);3(# 2"''"+1$-# 8"5# ,3'')D(5/7# and off camera he comes across as a genuinely nice guy. Just don’t order him any Fucking Merlot.

STANDING IN THE WAY OF PARENTAL CONTROL -Ben James

Today, the TV series Skins has *!(%4!$ 3$ 0F!1$ 73'/$ %8$ /!!+3-!$ culture in the UK. Since it premiered *3(>$ ,+$ @==M#$ ,/$ .3"$ *!!+$ 4!/$ with a considerable amount of controversy and backlash. Skins is no stranger to this reception in the UK, but now that it has been exported to the US there seems to be an elevation in the backlash.

Staunch conservative groups in the U.S. like the PTC (Parents Television Council) have described the programme as ‘dangerous’ for children. This was then followed by MTV producers’ attempts to censor the show’s explicit scenes and even the US Senate’s approval of the PTC investigation into charges of child pornography.

Skins seems to have pinpointed a zeitgeist of traditionalist insecurity, yet if anything, all of this additional media attention would appear to be fanning $&(# /&"9Y/# J)'(=# R".%&3-# O=O# '1331"*# tuned into the show’s premiere on MTV, setting a new record for viewers in the demographic of 12 to 34 year-olds. So the Skins phenomenon continues.

The show might be pretentiously romantic when dealing with teenage issues, but that’s where some of its charm lies. No doubt there will be members of the US viewership who feel that Skins is too unrealistic, much like there is in the UK - yet for all its critics, the programme shows no signs of stopping. There is apparently )# ,3'# 1*# $&(# 9"5D/7# /"# $&"./)*+/# more hopeful teen actors will be lining up for the opportunity to join the cult phenomenon. As the anti-Skins campaign mounts in the US it only /(('/# $"# )8,5'# $&(# /&"9Y/# )@@()3# $"# viewers, along with its depiction of the rebellious and ostracised life of a contemporary teenager - which after all, is the point.

ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

f I’D LIKE TO THANK...

-Imogen Firth-Jones

Goodness, this is so unexpected! First of all I’d like to thank Sean Penn, for infamously opening his acceptance speech for Milk in 2009 with the words “You Commie, homo-loving sons of guns!” For teaching us that it is neither cute nor funny to reference how much your partner loves sleeping with you, I thank Natalie Portman. Everyone can see that you’re pregnant, Natalie – we assumed he must enjoy sleeping with you.

I thank Mickey Rourke for his shambolic performance at the Independent Spirit ^9)5+/# 1*# PNN_7# @3".%&1*%# $&5".%&# $&(# names of everyone he’s ever worked with, leaving in his wake a trail of destruction that included appealing to the audience to remind him of the name of his co-star, insulting his publicist (“You can go back $"#$&(#8)5'#/""*7#A).3)===[<#)*+#$()58.33-# dedicating the award to his dead dog.

Quite frankly it couldn’t have been much worse, Mickey, if you’d mounted the stage dressed as Randy Robinson and @.*2&(+#A&131@#!(-'".5#:"88')*#1*#$&(# face.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s always nice to see a ceremony, and a speech, that goes against the polished Oscar night conventions. For example, I would love it if more actors dared to accept awards in character. Bill Murray did once accept an award dressed in his Ghostbusters costume, but then again it was the Scream awards – in a venue full of people doused in fake blood, sporting Freddie n5.%(5S(/`.(# ;3)+(/# 8"5# ,*%(5/# )*+# prosthetics that make them look like an ).+1(*2(# "8# +(2"'@"/1*%# j"';1(/=# :(# would have looked like an idiot in Armani.

For consistently charming displays on awards nights, I’d like to thank Colin Firth.

Since A Single Man, images of him happily brandishing BAFTAs and Golden Globes seem to be popping up everywhere.

When he’s not stuttering away on screen, Firth is uniquely witty, always very British, and consistently refers lovingly to his wife. This brings me to the precarious 1//.(# "8# $&)*D1*%# "*(Y/# /1%*1,2)*$# "$&(5# in the heat of the acceptance speech.

Cheesy? Yes. Cringe-worthy? Oh yes.

film Politicians do it to try and remind us (or +(2(10(#./#1*$"#$&1*D1*%<#$&)$#$&(-#)5(#1*# fact human. Actors do it either because a huge part of the creative experience in portraying realistic characters comes from experiencing those emotions yourself – love and the complexity of human relationships being integral to )3'"/$# (0(5-# ,3'# (0(5# ')+(=# K5# $&(-# might be highlighting the fact that they’re not available to help stave off the swarms of squealing fan girls: I’m not sure which.

Who else is there? Ah, I’d also like to heartily thank whoever’s idea it was to start doing those obsequious introductions by previous Best Actor and Actress winners – these are so painful to 9)$2&# $&)$# ;-# $&(# $1'(# $&(-Y0(# ,*1/&(+# dribbling their admiration all over the stage, anything the winner says sounds like a public address of Barack Obama standards. That being said, I think most politicians could learn a lot from the raw delivery style of the aforementioned Mr. Rourke. “Thanks for the money” may not be the best way to apologise for the expenses scandal, but at least that way no one could accuse them of being dishonest. I’m reminded once more of Bill Murray and his statement after winning a Golden Globe for Lost in Translation: “I would thank the people at Universal and Focus, except there’s so many people trying to take credit for this, I wouldn’t know where to begin.” Ouch. :"9(0(57# 31D(# @"31$121)*/7# 9&)$# '"/$# winners say and what they actually mean can be very different. “I want to share this with my fellow nominees” frequently comes across as, “Clearly, none of you are as immensely talented as me.” “This has been an amazing year for women’s roles” means “Slightly fewer of us have had to play bimbos or prostitutes,” and “Working with you was an experience I’ll never forget,” loosely translates as “You made me lose weight/change sex/ gain weight/cut my hair/practice kung fu for ten hours a day/take off my clothes.

Thanks a lot.”

And for consistently providing Family Guy 91$&#(*".%&#')$(51)3#$"#@)5"+-#1$7#,*)33-# I’d like to thank the Academy. Thank you, and God bless!

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/FILM

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f film

FIVE SPORT FILMS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED -Joe Hall

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

h(5-# 8(9# /@"5$# ,3'/# 2)*# $.5*# $&(15# /.;I(2$# /@"5$# 1*$"# )*# (';3('# "8# +(3151.'7# desperation and disappointment, but this is exactly what Friday Night Lights does for high school American football. Only a small town in Texas could be crazy enough to place all their hopes and desires on the results of a high-school football team. This is a mad world, from which only the game of football can provide solace for a group of hopeless teenagers stuck in America’s graveyard. ^#%5()$#$.5*#85"'#6133-#6";#4&"5*$"*#&(3@/#$"#')D(#$&(#,3'#(0(*#'"5(#(*I"-);3(=# ^*+#18#-".#$&1*D#$&(#@5('1/(#/".*+/#8)'131)57#$&(*#$&)$#'1%&$#;(#;(2)./(#$&(#,3'# E)*+#$&(#;""D#1$#9)/#;)/(+#"*<#9)/#$.5*(+#1*$"#)#4h#/(51(/#$&)$#5)*#85"'#PNNl# until this year.

SUGAR

Sugar comes from the minds of Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, the partnership that +(310(5(+#1*+1(#&1$/#:)38#G(3/"*#)*+#Z$Y/#n1*+#"8#)#W.**-#!$"5-=#Z$#1/#)*"$&(5#$)3(# of those in America who are forgotten and ignored. With their attention on Minor League Baseball and a budding player from the Dominican Republic, Boden and Fleck slowly expose the ugly and exploitative side of America’s pastime.

This is a sports movie that displays the shallowness of the stereotypical rags to riches story – an aspect of the American dream that is becoming implausible in the modern world.

MIKE BASSET T: ENGLAND MANAGER

Not exactly a comedy classic in the eyes of most critics, yet ask any football fan and they will tell you that Mike Bassett is the best comedic football creation after Soccer AM’s Third Eye. Watching the wonderful Ricky Tomlinson sweat and splutter as the hapless Mike Bassett is wonderful, and so too are the 51+12.3"./#/1$.)$1"*/#$&(#@3)-(5/#)*+#/$)88#,*+#$&('/(30(/#1*=#6)//($$Y/#&)38S$1'(# $()'#$)3D#9&(*#$&(#$()'#)5(#PSN#+"9*#$"#C(B12"#*(0(5#2()/(/#$"#%($#"3+=#4&(# ,3'#1/#)$#1$/#;(/$7#&"9(0(57#9&(*#1$#@"D(/#8.*#)$#$&(#')+*(//#)*+#8(50".5#"8#$&(# English public and press when an England team spectacularly fails at a major competition.

WHIP IT

Whip It may concern itself with a far from conventional sport – women’s roller +(5;-#?#;.$#$&(*#>&1@#Z$#1/#)*#.*2"*0(*$1"*)3#/@"5$/#,3'=#^#/".*+$5)2D#1*23.+1*%# 4133-# )*+# $&(# >)337# 4&(# R)'"*(/# )*+# 4&(# eKk# 4()'# 9".3+# /$5.%%3(# $"# ,*+# )# home in a movie about boxing. But it is these quirks (Ellen Page’s nickname 1/#6);(# R.$&3(//k<# $&)$# ')*)%(# $"# /$((5# $&(# ,3'# 85"'#;(1*%#)**"-1*%3-#$9((7# and make Whip It so refreshing. The roller derby scenes are as high octane and hard-hitting as any American football movie, but as warm and funny as any good comedy.

HOOP DREAMS

:""@#g5()'/7#5(3()/(+#"0(5#/1B$((*#-()5/#)%"7#1/#)#,3'#"8#/&((5#;51331)*2(#)*+# +(/(50(/#)#'(*$1"*#1*#)*-#31/$#"8#$"@#/@"5$/#,3'/=#:""@#g5()'/#1/#)#$&5((#&".5# long documentary set over a number of years and focusing on two boys from inner-city Chicago with dreams of becoming professional basketball players.

A(5&)@/#*"$#)*#)@@()31*%#@5('1/(#8"5#)#,3'#$"#9)$2&#"*#)#W51+)-#*1%&$7#;.$#91$&1*# ten minutes nothing will be more important to you than the destiny of young >1331)'#e)$(/#)*+#^5$&.5#^%((=#i1D(#)33#$&(#%""+#/@"5$#,3'/7#:""@#g5()'/#1/# about so much more, touching on issues of class, education, race and equality. :""@# g5()'/# 1/# .3$1')$(3-# +)'*1*%# 1*# 1$/# 0(5+12$# "8# 2"*$('@"5)5-# ^'(512)7# yet basketball is never the villain. Despite all the unjustness and despair of the character’s lives, it is sport that still offers them a joyous escape.

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

m DIRTY POP -James Smyllie

Pop music today: a soulless vacuum, void of depth and creativity, sung by auto-tuned robots and usually featuring Flo Rida? Sometimes yes, but this certainly isn’t the full story. With four writers credited for the lyrics, and production by Swedish dream-team Bloodshy & Avant, Britney Spears’ [\%F,(P$,"$7%7$3/$,/"$4%"/$3'/,0(,3)$3+1$ manufactured. Thanks to its addictive melodic hooks, a combination of sinister strings and surf-guitar, and its frivolous sense of fun, it was also one of the best songs of the last decade. The producers behind such great pop tracks are rarely given the recognition they deserve. Along with RedOne (Lady Gaga’s partner in crime) and Xenomania (responsible for every great Girls Aloud track), one of pop’s best producers is Max Martin, who’s responsible for providing the likes of Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry and Pink with their biggest hits. Without commercial teen pop stars to sing them, songs such as ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ and ‘I Want It That Way’ may never have seen the light of day.

But if the singer has contributed little to its writing or composition, can you fully connect to a song? Perhaps not, although just because one hasn’t written a song does not mean one cannot fully commit to its lyrics. Would the Max Martin-produced monster of a break-up song ‘Since U Been Gone’ have reached such dizzying heights of perfection if Kelly Clarkson hadn’t screamed out that bridge as if the fate of America depended on it? Probably not. It’s when the pop sensibility of such producers is matched with the song craft, artistic vision and raw emotion of the artists themselves that we get something as exceptional as ‘Bad Romance’.

4&(# @"@# )2$/# "8# $&(# cN/# ;5".%&$# 91$&# them a wealth of imagination and innovation, with new romantic synth-pop emerging from punk and new wave. Kate Bush made some of the most inventive music of all time, and Michael Jackson and Madonna ascended to pop royalty.

W5"'# $&(# '1+S_N/7# 1$# 9)/# $&(# ;""'# 1*# manufactured teen-pop that was taking centre stage - most pop ‘artists’ at the

music time were merely products and played no part in the creation of their music.

Although there was no lack of brilliant pop singles released, the albums themselves 9(5(#')1*3-#,33(5=# Then Gaga arrived and changed everything once again. With the best attempt at stealing Madonna’s pop crown since Gwen Stefani yelled ‘Take a chance you stupid hoe’, she has turned the pop industry upside down and made being eccentric and extrovert more than just a necessity. What makes Lady Gaga the perfect pop star is that she refuses to make her artistic statements solely through music. She channels just )/# '.2&# )5$1/$12# 01/1"*# 1*$"# &(5# ".$,$/7# music videos and public persona.

The deliciously deranged video for ‘Telephone’ and infamous meat dress are as much a part of Lady Gaga as her music. Whilst the likes of Katy Perry and Ke$ha may not match Gaga in artistic vision, it’s the garish style choices, shameless lyrics and brattish vocal delivery accompanying their over-thetop personas that make their often mindnumbingly dumb trash-pop so enjoyable.

If there is one person who can rival Gaga in all departments, it is probably Swedish electro-pop siren Robyn. Both a vulnerable, social outsider and foulmouthed femme fatale in equal measure, Robyn is one of pop’s most captivating singers, bringing lonely heartache to the +)*2(# J""5# 91$&# $&(# +)jj31*%# Xg)*21*%# K*#C-#K9*Y#)*+#%101*%#./#"*(#"8#PNMNY/# best albums. Along with Marina and 4&(# g1)'"*+/7# :.5$/# )*+# ^**1(7# /&(# 1/# 3()+1*%#$&(#5(2(*$#$5(*+#"8#3(8$S,(3+#@"@# that attempts to be more experimental.

To truly succeed, these acts must remember that however avant-garde they try to be, they don’t forget the one fundamental element of a great pop song: a brilliant melody. From the shameless to $&(#/.;31'(7#$&(#J)';"-)*$#$"#$&(#/.;$3(7# and the mindless to the innovative, pop music is fearless, wickedly fun, and constantly evolving. With the return of Britney and Gaga, the hotly anticipated debut from new girl in town Jessie J, and Rihanna’s continual domination of the 2&)5$/7#PNMM#1/#)35()+-#/&)@1*%#.@#$"#;(# a phenomenal year for pop. Like it or not, pop music is here to stay. ...James has been listening to: Patrick Wolf – ‘The City’

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/MUSIC

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CRITICS’ CHOICE (AND LACK THEREOF) -Ben James

Critical acclaim – it’s all that any artist can wish for. Praise from the immovable and hard-to-impress scholars who deem only a small margin of the plethora of recorded music laudable. Digesting it into bite size chunks in the form of short and snappy reviews and ‘Best of’ lists.

Resulting in a collection of the biggest and best music of a generation that is '!Q!(/!1$*6$/.!$),"/!+!'"]$',-./D Well perhaps not. Getting a ‘Best New C./12Y# /$)'@# 85"'# A1$2&8"5D# "5# )*# c]MN# from NME for your new album doesn’t mean that you will be able to rival the likes "8#i)+-#e)%)#"5#6(-"*2(=#:"9(0(57#18#-".# were to read any of these publications you could be forgiven for mistaking artists such as Animal Collective and Deerhunter as the prevalent artists of this generation. Front-man of Deerhunter, Bradford Cox, acknowledged that; “All young bands care about is getting a good review, and we got a good review; people think I’ve made it because of that and I haven’t.”

The evidence speaks for itself. According to the critics, acts such as Animal Collective should be able to sell out Rock City and even at a push, play a show at Trent FM arena. Yet, following the release "8# C(5519()$&(5# A"/$# A)0131"*# 1*# PNN_7# an album critically agreed to be the best of the year, the band played a show at the Rescue Rooms. Something seems to be amiss here; surely the opinions of the 251$12/#/&".3+#+12$)$(#E"5#5(J(2$<#@("@3(/Y# interest in music in some way, and in turn direct budding fans to those artists. This unfortunately isn’t always the case, a fact that Animal Collective are well aware of; “It’s really easy to look on the internet and think that you’re the biggest band in the world, and it’s pretty obvious that we’re not.”

Conversely, sometimes this is the case; take Arcade Fire for instance. They are a band adorned by critics and fans alike, they recently headlined Reading and Leeds Festivals and at the same time topped many ‘Best of’ lists. Admittedly, Arcade Fire is not the most popular band in the world, but in relation to their reviews and the size of their audiences, they seem to strike a balance pretty well.

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

Elbow are another example of a band that moved from the fringe of mainstream to widespread popularity through the coveted and acclaimed Mercury Music Prize. In a way, people can identify acts like these as ‘the critic’s choice’, and as acts that bridge the gap between experimentation and accessibility. It would seem that artists like this are a way into the critical sphere without needing to scour every critic’s opinion to stay in the know.

Conversely, there are times when the critics and the readers come into collision. Most recently, this occurred when Kanye West’s latest album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was )9)5+(+# )# MN=N# 85"'# A1$2&8"5D=# 4&(5(# was uproar on the blogosphere, as this 9)/#$&(#,5/$#@(58(2$#/2"5(#85"'#A1$2&8"5D# /1*2(#>132"Y/#p)*D((#:"$(3#W"B$5"$#;)2D# 1*# PNNP=# C)*-# &)0(# 251$121/(+# A1$2&8"5D7# champions of indie/alternative rock, for attempting to embrace the mainstream.

According to Pitchfork, M.B.D.T.F. is the ;(/$#)3;.'#1*#c#)*+#)#&)38#-()5/7#9&12&# many of the readership wholeheartedly contest.

Overall, critics’ opinions seem to be seen as a contributing factor - but not the prevailing one - in dictating musical trends. With every publication predicting $&(# X*(B$# ;1%# $&1*%Y# 8"5# PNMM# )*+# $&(# rise in ‘webzines’ such as Pitchfork and Stereogum, it seems that we are spoilt 8"5# 2&"12(# 1*# './12)3# "@1*1"*=# :"9(0(57# the feud that emerges between the critics themselves seems like one many should be wary of – to pick a side is futile, because no side can have prevalence over another. So my advice would be this: don’t ignore the critics, because their opinions are worth considering, but at the same time don’t drown yourself in the ocean of opinions that the internet is over brimming with. Merely get a balanced interpretation of critical opinion and then ,*)33-7# )*+# @(5&)@/# '"/$# 1'@"5$)*$3-7# make your own mind up about the new Indie/Dubstep/Folktronica album to be released and raved about. Ultimately, the critics aren’t infallible – but then again, who is? ...Ben has been listening to - PJ Harvey: ‘The Words That Maketh Murder’...

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impact

music Aiming to introduce you to all things music related in and around Nottingham. From singer songwriters, bands, DJs, societies and 5)+1"#/&"9/7#9(Y0(#%"$#1$#2"0(5(+=#!((#".5#9(;/1$(#$"#,*+#".$# more.

introduces

BOY ON THE ROOF

URN AFTER DARK -James Smyllie

If you like youthful sounds permeated with a mixture of driving riffs and catchy hooks, then look no further than Boy on the R""87#$&(#1*+1(#".$,$#85"*$(+#;-#2.55(*$#G"$$1*%&)'#H*10(5/1$-# 85(/&(5# !)'# :)-9)5+=# T'(5%1*%# ".$# "8# )# milieu of new and "3+# 1*J.(*2(/# )31D(# E$&1*D# 4&(# !'1$&/# )*+# >&1$(# i1(/<7# $&(-# demonstrate a surprising level of maturity for a band so young.

They have even got that ‘Maccabee-esque’ live energy down to )#$((#$"#@5"01+(#)*-#1*+1(#I.*D1(#91$&#)#&()3$&-#/.@@3-=#:)01*%# already supported Franz Ferdinand at an after show in Brixton, it would be hard to imagine a quiet future for this band. Feel free to jump on the proverbial bandwagon and check them out at myspace.com/boyontheroof.

:(5(#)$#G"$$1*%&)'#H*10(5/1$-#9(#)5(#3.2D-#(*".%&#$"#;(#&"'(# $"#H*10(5/1$-#R)+1"#G"$$1*%&)'#EHRG<7#9&12&#1*#PNMN#9)/#$&(# recipient of ‘Best Student Radio Station’ at the Student Radio Awards. If you’re on the constant search for new music and prefer to indulge in the more alternative side of the artistic spectrum, then tune in to URN After Dark. Playing the best 1*# ;5)*+# *(9# E)*+# "3+<# )3$(5*)$10(# './127# 1*23.+1*%# .*/1%*(+# )*+#3"2)3#)2$/7#^8$(5#g)5D#/(50(/#.@#)#0)51($-#"8#%(*5(S/@(21,2# shows spanning everything from Punk & Metal to the best in Urban and Dance. For fans of Interpol and Animal Collective listen to RadioLab, Mondays 11pm; for those who prefer the electro-pop of Cut Copy & jj, tune into James and Emma on at 11pm on a Thursday; and if Crystal Fighters & Foals are '"5(#-".5#$&1*%7#$&(*#2&(2D#".$#!)'#q#\&)5#"*#)$#_@'#(0(5-# Thursday. Forget the likes of Radio 1 and XFM, it’s time to tune 1*$"#HRG#^8$(5#g)5D=#:)0(#)#31/$(*#)$#.5*MOQN=*($=#

...Jack has been listening to: Boy on the Roof – ‘Defender’...

...James has been listening to: Duran Duran – ‘Hungry Like the Wolf’...

-Jack Gilbert

IS THIS IT FOR THE STROKES? -Sarah Dawood

Has it really been 10 years since the release of The Strokes’ criticallyacclaimed debut Is This It? It seems like just yesterday we were screaming 3)%+-$/%$/.!$^%)),+-$X/%+!"5,+Q&!+(!1$ rock n’ roll track ‘Last Nite’, poorly attempting to imitate Julian Casablancas’s strained and abrasive vocals, and humming the insatiable melody to 2003’s ‘Reptilia’. It’s been ",F$6!3'"#$0))!1$2,/.$3$4&)/,/&1!$%8$"%)%$ careers and a rising sense of mystery and enigma, since the New Yorkborn, garage-rock group last released an album – and now they’re due for another.

Although clearly a band of longevity and musical prestige, this large gap in time raises the question: are The Strokes at a loss in terms of offering their audience something innovative? Following the 5(3()/(# "8# Z/# 4&1/# Z$# 1*# PNNM7# $&(# ;)*+# was awarded with the Brit Award for ‘Best International Newcomer’ and the GCT# ^9)5+# 8"5# X6(/$# ^3;.'Y# 1*# PNNP=## Conversely, their third studio album First Impressions of Earth was experimental and a controversial change from their much-loved previous style. The record

had far more emotional morbidity and polished instrumentation, and hence gained very mixed reviews from critics.

So, what next? The Strokes are set to release their fourth album Angles in March, which the band claims bridges the gap between their traditionally raw debut sound and their more shiny and synthesiserheavy sound. Perhaps this will help them to obtain more positive reviews, and maybe even ensure themselves some national and global )9)5+/# 8"5# PNMM=# Ultimately however, whatever musical route the band decides to take, their sheer honesty and genuine nature will )39)-/# ;(# 2"*,5'(+# in their lyrics. From the humorous and yet jarring “I don’t even like it, I just lied to get to your apartment”

1*# PNNM# $"# $&(# +(/"3)$(# )*+# 1/"3)$(+# “Nobody’s waiting for me on the other /1+([# 1*# PNNQ7# $&1/# ;)*+# &)/# /&"9*# *"$# only a progression musically, but also one in maturity and emotional depth. As one of the fore-fathers of indie-rock today, The Strokes will always stand out as a shining light amongst a sea of generic music. Why? In Julian Casablancas’s words, “It’s hard to explain...”

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/MUSIC

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JAMES BLAKE – ‘JAMES BLAKE’

DESTROYER – ‘KAPUT T ’

This young artist is one who truly pushes musical boundaries to an entirely new level in his self-titled debut album. From ‘Unluck’ through to ‘Measurements’, Blake sophisticatedly transforms his genuine, classically trained talent into pure innovative, atmospheric genius. It is impossible not to lose oneself within his haunting vocals, simple and desolate, yet simultaneously ;().$18.3=#>1$&#23()5#+.;/$(@#)*+#)';1(*$#1*,3$5)$1"*7#&(#./(/# musical electronics and synthesisers to create a sound that is both ethereal and captivating, highlighted most successfully by the track ‘I Never Learnt to Share’, which progresses from what could be described as merely vocals and empty space towards a riotous amalgamation of synthetic noise, centred around the repetition of just two lines of lyrics; ‘My brother and my sister don’t speak to me, But I don’t blame them.’

Much as Animal Collective’s ‘Merriweather Post Pavilion’ ')5D(+#$&(#/$)5$#"8#PNN_7#Xn)@.$$Y#2".3+#9(33#;(#$&(#,5/$#%5()$# )3;.'#"8#PNMM=#Z$#510)3/#1$#1*#$1'1*%7#9()3$&#"8#1+()/#)*+#/&((5# listen-ability.

-Sarah Dawood

Simplicity, silence and sincerity are the key elements of the album, which make it truly stand out. Although chilling and minimalist on the exterior, Blake’s album exudes emotional intensity. Blake successfully explores music’s ability to fully enthral and mesmerise one’s mind when he sings, “All that I know is, I’m falling, falling, falling...” That makes two of us then, James. Fantastic album.

!"#9&)$#1/#1$d#Z$Y/#0(5-#+18,2.3$#$"#@3)2(7#/$5($2&1*%#)25"//#')*-# disparate genres. It is an indie album in the truest sense of the 9"5+=# !$)5D# @1)*"7# /(51"./# J""5# $)@@1*%# ;)//7# )21+# I)jj# )*+# $&(# "++# J.$(# )33# 2"'(# )$# -".# 85"'# )33# )*%3(/=# cN/Y# 6"91(# 1/# the closest one could get, but it’s far more diverse. A personal favourite is the opener ‘Chinatown’, setting the rhythm and involving a love-torn duet with Sibel Thrasher; ‘You can’t walk away. I can’t walk away’.

6(I)5Y/#3-512/#)5(#";$./(#)*+#-($#(*+()51*%s#1*1$1)33-#+18,2.3$#$"# grasp but as an ensemble, it all falls into place. Essentially, this is a calming album that simultaneously draws you in - never overwhelming in volume, yet totally immersing. ...Dan has been listening to: Destroyer – ‘Chinatown’...

...Sarah has been listening to: Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly – ‘Collapsing Cities’...

seemed unfair. The true highlight of the night came when the band performed ‘Lua’, with the song’s sad trumpet call marking a special moment of passing between the crowd and artist.

LIVE REVIEW: BRIGHT EYES AT ROCK CITY 9/02/11

:)01*%#9)1$(+#)#%""+#/1B#-()5/#$"#/((#651%&$#T-(/#1*#2"*2(5$7# the gig exceeded my expectations and more. Such was the intensity of emotion in Rock City, that it barely seemed believable that just thirty minutes later Oberst would be replaced with the >(+*(/+)-# *1%&$# \51/1/# 5(0(33(5/# +)*21*%# $"# Xp()5# ONNNY# )*+# the like. Alas, I don’t think Rock City will see a gig like this for a long time to come.

-Rosie Kynman

A little surprised at the last minute change of location and 5(01/(+# /$)5$# $1'(# "8# c@'# EZ# /.;/(`.(*$3-# 8".*+# ".$# $&1/# 9)/# ;(2)./(#"8#)#/$512$#MN@'#2.58(9<#651%&$#T-(/#2(5$)1*3-#+1+*Y$#3($# the eleventh hours’ revisions affect their performance. Conor Oberst and company were, quite simply, beautiful.

As the band entered the auditorium, accompanied by the otherworldly opening of ‘Firewall’, the sense that this was to be no ordinary gig was apparent. The downcast fragility of Oberst’s voice sliced through the symphonic folk generated by the band, with tracks such as ‘One For You, One For Me’ illustrating this spellbinding juncture.

What with members of the crowd constantly shouting out their requests, it would have been hard for Oberst not to play 8)*# 8)0".51$(/# /.2&# )/# X4&(# \)3(*+)5# :.*%# Z$/(38Y# )*+# X6"93# of Oranges’. It was rather disappointing, however, when the band played ‘Something Vague’ for the second time; given the range of material Bright Eyes could have played - I’m thinking /@(21,2)33-# X^# A(58(2$# !"**($YS# $"# @3)-# $&(# /)'(# $5)2D# $912(#

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-Dan Adams

ISSUE 209 | MARCH2011

…Rosie has been listening to: WU LYF – ‘Heavy Pop’…

t

SURVIVING VALENTINE’S DAY

travel

LONG DISTANCE LOVE - Eleanor Simpson

Travel does not always involve crazy adventures and new experiences – sometimes it can be the very thing that takes someone away from you. But how do you, the person left behind, deal with it when they are gone?

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young prince and princess whose love made them the happiest couple in the kingdom. One day, the prince was sent on a dangerous mission to a faraway land and had to leave behind his beloved @51*2(//=#:(#/($#"88#"*#&1/#8)1$&8.3#/$((+# and vowed to remain true to his love.

They sent word to each other every day in their lonely time apart, and after the successful completion of his duty, the prince returned back to the loving arms of his princess. The kingdom rejoiced, and they all lived happily ever after.

A suitable love story to see out the month of February, I believe. Even on last Valentine’s Day, while everyone else will have been out for a romantic meal with their loved one, my boyfriend and I will have been arduously attempting to keep the internet connection going long enough for a decent chat on Skype. I just had to accept the fact that this year, it wasn’t going to be quite the romantic day it normally is; instead, I joined my single friends in moaning about the commercialisation of love in a capitalist

society, while gorging on chocolate.

Long distance relationships are hard.

I mean, relationships in general can be +18,2.3$=# 6.$# $&(# +1/$)*2(# $&1*%# 1/# "8$(*# the clincher. When I say long distance, I’m not talking Nottingham to London... I mean over the pond and then some. Josh is in sunny Arizona State and I’m stuck in freezing England. It’s the difference ;($9((*# F^-# .@# '(# +.2D[# )*+# F:"9+-# @)5$*(5[7# $&(# +188(5(*2(# ;($9((*# _# t# \# )*+# OQ# t# \# )*+# $&(# +188(5(*2(# ;($9((*# midnight and 4pm. It’s ‘make it or break it’ time, and we fully intend to make it.

But how to keep the romance going when you’re so far away from each other?

Times have changed a lot since the days our grandparents diligently wrote effusive love letters every day from the war-front to their other half back home. Instead of a love letter in the post, I received a parcel of mementos: a ping-pong ball signed

by Josh (the self-proclaimed “beer pong 2&)'@1"*[<# )*+# )# @)15# "8# 9"5*# "5)*%(# tights — which I recalled him wearing on )#2(5$)1*#H!#:)33"9((*#*1%&$#91$&#*"$&1*%# but a pumpkin lid to cover his manhood. :)5+3-# 5"')*$12# 1*# $&(# "3+S8)/&1"*(+# sense, but we live in modern times... apparently beer-stained man-tights are the new roses. I duly returned my own package and, being the romantic that I am, decided to add a feminine touch

by over-zealously spraying my perfume on the letter. It turns out that Chanel J)0".5(+# 2&"2"3)$(/# )5(# I./$# *"$# )/# yummy as they smell. But then perhaps it’s not all about roses and chocolates.

Roses die and chocolates, well, they just get eaten. Stories like these, however, are more durable and will stand the test of time.

Josh, rather worryingly, seems to have taken to reading his friend’s Cosmopolitan magazine and reported to me excitedly that we are exceeding their advice on keeping long-distance relationships hot. But a dip into Cosmo isn’t always as illuminating as we want it to be – their risqué sexting tips just don’t cut it on what is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year. There are plenty of students in long-distance relationships at this very moment who are facing the same dilemmas, and the last thing we want is to read more doom and gloom messages. If I have learnt anything at all from writing this article, it is that our relationship, even from either side of the Atlantic Ocean, has been surprisingly fun. From attempted near-fatal candle-lit dinners via Skype to a newfound love for writing sappy love poetry, the thousands of miles between us have opened up a whole range of new, if slightly unusual, ways to make a relationship function.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/TRAVEL

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“ESC APIN G TH E TO URIS T TR AIL”

travel

With more and more people being able to afford to travel, the unknown world is becoming less so every year.

Every country nowadays seems to have a major attractions checklist in the trusty Lonely Planet guide and these tourist trails are only becoming more popular. The beaten track may be saturated with tourists, which means you might end up meeting more fellow travellers than locals, but should you always seek to avoid it?

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

“THE EURO TRAILER”

NO

- Marlene Herman

Let’s face it… Europe’s been done. _'31$ /',7"#$ 0!)1$ /',7"#$ E&'%5'3,),+-]$ everyone does it nowadays. And if you haven’t, it’s on your List-of-Things-ToDo-When-I-Get-Around-to-Them.

In Berlin, there are two paths that can be taken, each of which has been beaten "%),1V$\.!$0'"/$,"$43'>!1$*6$",-./"!!,+-$ stalwarts, like the iconic Brandenburg Gate. The second is the nightlife – the many clubs, pubs, and eateries. We chose the former, arguably geekier path. With our Eyewitness Guide to Berlin in hand, we stuck to the book’s recommended course like glue. The Brandenburg Gate, the Reichstag, the Jewish Museum, currywurst stands… so much to do, so little time. Thank God for the checklist of “Places You O&"/$X!!$C.,)!$,+$9!'),+$8%'$M@$.%&'"`V In the past three years, I’ve returned to the international hubbub that is the German capital, each time with different people and each time taking a different path.

Shopping: the glittering Kaufhaus des Westens (that’s the “KaDeWe” for all of -".#.@#$"#+)$(#"*#-".5#e(5')*#/3)*%<7#$&(# Alex Platz, and simply wandering down the Friedrichstrasse – all tips courtesy of the Eyewitness Guide and suggestions from friends who have previously visited or lived there. Clubbing and nightlife: what can I say? The city is alive all night, every night – but, without a guide, beware of potentially spending your night wandering the streets searching for ‘the perfect club’. So, the next time your friend is getting all excited about Eurorailing and you want to roll your eyes, think about it – maybe it’s a good thing that everyone’s been there and done that.

It’s safer, easier, and chances are you won’t lose time seeking out the perfect club or landmark for yourself.

“THE GOLD COAST CRUISER” - Ellis Schindler

I’m someone who rarely strays from the beaten track; in fact I take credit for beating it further. Sure I’ve been diverted from time to time; it can be fun and it’s nice to see somewhere that hasn’t been so affected by tourism. It can be lonely, however – especially if you go alone.

East coast Australia is as much of a ;()$(*# $5)2D# )/# -".# 9133# (0(5# ,*+# ?# generally everyone does the same activities and most people you meet are tourists, but that’s why I loved it. You never know who you’re going to meet or what stories they’re going to have and you can get contacts (aka places to /$)-<#)33#)5".*+#$&(#9"53+=#4".51*%#)5".*+# Fraser Island was my favourite thing to do. We spent three days in a truck with ,0(# 5)*+"'# @("@3(7# +5101*%# "*# ;()2&(/# and through the rainforest. We cooked, attempted to build tents, explored, sat )5".*+# )# 2)'@,5(# )*+# +5)*D# %""*=# >(# also had to work together to push our truck out when we got stuck, literally, on the beaten track! When we later made it up to Cairns, which is where everyone ends up, we’d be walking down the street )*+# ,*+# ".5/(30(/# %5(($1*%# (0(5-# "$&(5# person because we’d already met them up at the coast. That’s why I love the beaten track – because you get to know so many people that after a while, it starts feeling like home.

YE S

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travel

“THE SHABBY ADVENTURER” “THE - Richard Collett

“THE LONE HITCHER” - Dan Adams

One of the best ways to get off the beaten track is hitch-hiking. I’ve done it in Canada, New Zealand, Honduras, East Timor, Malaysia and Indonesia – and have learnt a great deal. It does take guts. You’re taking a risk here; you may have a bad time, but far more likely, in countries with a stronger sense of community, hitching will be a fantastic way to mix with the locals. p".#')-#,*+#-".5/(38#25)'@(+#1*$"#$&(#;)2D# seat between Maori women, answering questions about why you are so thin, or riding in an Australian army Land Rover in Tior, asking the sergeant about his deployment, or even standing in the back of a pick-up in :"*+.5)/7# /@()D1*%# ;)+# !@)*1/&# )*+# $5-1*%# to avoid marriage proposals. These are some of my fondest travelling memories.

These days you can even “hitch a bed” $&5".%&#9(;/1$(/#31D(#2".2&/.5,*%=2"'=#ZY0(# done it a few times and my results have been mixed. A Colombian friend and I stayed with a couple in Estonia, who were lovely if a bit dry. I did feel like I was imposing, despite everyone trying his or her best. On another occasion in Sweden, I had an awesome time. Picking the right person is key. I still get calls and emails from Stockholm asking when I’ll be back.

Meeting people is often the easy part when travelling. It can be done on the infamous Kon 41D1# E!4g/# 1*23.+(+k<# ;./(/# )5".*+# T.5"@(=# But learning something from the locals at the same time.... now that is travelling.

As I wandered down a dusty coastal road in Kupang on the island of Timor, I heard a chorus of children’s voices, screaming “Bule! Bule!” and a battered pick-up truck struggled past, the kids in the back shouting and pointing at me. This was the colloquial term for “Westerners”, and it was a word constantly screamed at me from afar, before I was suddenly surrounded by smiling locals wanting to shake my hand. It was a far cry from the touristy (%+0+!"$ %8$ 93),#$ 3+1$ 3$ "/'3+-!$ 6!/$ welcome experience.

Few tourists make it to the far south of Indonesia. Each day my friend and I 9".3+#,*+#".5/(30(/#;(1*%#"88(5(+#3.*2&# and palm wine by residents eager to show us their city. The week culminated with lunch and whiskey at the East Timorese embassy, courtesy of the ambassador of Indonesia. Bedraggled, with long hair and stubbly beards, we were made to feel welcome by this powerful, suited man; he’d spent ten years waging guerrilla warfare against Indonesia and a further ten years in a Jakartan jail for his actions. We soon began adventuring into the surrounding islands, learning the language on long ferry rides over bowls of noodles, exploring out of the way towns on the back of an old motorbike and seeing natural wonders without another soul in sight.

There surely comes a point on every traveller’s journey when the throngs of tourists and persistent clamours get too much. Getting off the beaten track is a welcome relief, an adventurous challenge and a greatly rewarding experience.

SANCTUARY SEEKER” - Claudia Baxter

When planning a trip abroad, will you follow the well-established tourist track leading to the “must sees” and “must dos”, or will you opt for the less-frequented route, devoid of tourists? Take India, a destination increasingly on the traveller itinerary, its hotspots including the iconic Taj Mahal, countless forts from the Mughal and British Empires, and the palm-fringed beaches of Goa for the more party-minded.

Having visited all of the above, I learned that the real treasures lie away from India’s “Golden Triangle” of Delhi, Agra and Jaipur. On my visit, we hired a driver to take us through Rajasthan and found ourselves in one of the most beautiful towns in the state: Mandawa, packed with hundreds of intricately decorated forts and havelis. With only a handful of hotels in the small town, we were taken to what looked more like a palace than the grotty hostels we were used to. :)01*%# 2"'(# 85"'# $&(# +15$# )*+# +1/&"*(/$-# of Delhi, the comparably quiet dirt roads of Mandawa were blissful, with only heads $.5*1*%# E/"'($&1*%# 1*(/2)@);3(# 1*# Z*+1)<# instead of the hands-on heckling encountered elsewhere. We were treated less as an economic resource to exploit and more as a pool of knowledge from which they wanted to ,/&=#g.51*%#".5#$9"S9((D#I".5*(-#)25"//#$&(# North Western state of Rajasthan, we enjoyed eating rotis by the roadside and basking on woven beds, sipping chai without a single tourist in sight. This was the real Rajasthan.

Z*#'-#"@1*1"*7#$&(5(Y/#+(,*1$(#'(51$#1*#/$)-1*%# away from the well-established tourist routes.

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travel INDONESIA:

THE FUNERAL RITES OF TANA TORAJA - Dan Adams

Little is generally known about J+1%+!",3$ ,+$ /.!$ C!"/V$ C,/.$ ;M#===$ islands, 240 million people and over 400 languages or dialects, it’s a land of amazing diversity and culture. I could write about Bali or the Gili islands, the amazing surf and dive spots or the orang-utans and Komodo dragons, *&/$6%&$(3+$0+1$/.3/$%&/$8%'$6%&'"!)8V$ :"9(0(57# .*+(5/$)*+1*%# @3)2(/# 31D(# Maluku, Borneo and Sumatra requires some real investigation. I headed to Sulawesi – that weirdly shaped island ()/$# "8# 6"5*("=# 4&(# J1%&$# 9)/# *()5# empty and the passengers gave the pilot a hearty round of applause on landing (What else was he meant to +"d<=# Z# 9)/# 1*# !.3)9(/1# $"# 91$*(//# $&(# famous funeral ceremonies of the Torajan people, usually held in summer so that families can save up money and prepare intricate costumes to honour their dead.

The ride to my destination wasn’t a good one — uncomfortable and windy, full of patchy sleep, but I got there. Arriving in Rantepao, I was surrounded by curious houses called tongkonan. The roofs rear up at both ends in the shape of the boats thought to have brought them to this land, and the higher the roof, the greater the family status. I’d never seen anything like them. I waited for a large funeral, playing football and taking pictures. I was given a room in a tongkonan and was (*$(5$)1*(+#;-#$&(#h)*#g)''(#,3'/#$&)$# were endlessly on TV. 4&(# 8.*(5)3# +)-# ,*)33-# )5510(+=# >1$&# '-# guide Anton, we took local transport $&5".%&# $&(# @)++-# ,(3+/7# @12D1*%# .@# mourners as we went. The husband of the deceased woman greeted me and invited me to sit with his family. The grieving family were relatively rich and had built a family shrine consisting of large viewing ;)-/# /.55".*+1*%# $&(# 2"8,*7# 9&12&# 9)/# housed in a portable tongkonan.

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After solemn prayers and dedications, the celebration of the deceased woman’s 318(# ;(%)*=# ^5".*+# ON# 3"2)3# '(*# 91$&#

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f)2D1(#\&)*#&)152.$/#@12D(+#.@#$&(#2"8,*# and excitedly carried it down the road to the other villages hopping, skipping and cheering. Eighteen buffalos walked alongside, including a prized albino bull, with women following behind carrying a red satin train above their heads. The younger girls and boys were dressed in beautiful black satin, with elaborate bead necklaces and colourful headbands.

K*2(#;)2D#1*#$&(#8)'13-#/&51*(7#$&(#2"8,*# was carried up a steep rampart to rest for $&(#5(')1*+(5#"8#$&(#c#+)-#3"*%#2(5('"*-=# We then came to the most famous part of the ceremony. After a long sermon from a local animist leader and then a Catholic priest, a female buffalo tied to the stake (you might want to close your (-(/# 51%&$# *"9<# `.12D3-# &)+# &(5# $&5")$# cut by a professional slaughterer. The buffalo bucked and jumped as blood poured from her neck onto the soon matted earth. She collapsed, but took a further two minutes to die, lifting her head 1*#,*)3#+()$&#$&5"(/#;(8"5(#@)//1*%#"*=#Z# 9)$2&(+#1$#)33#91$&#)#,B(+#/$)5(#?#1$#9)/# pretty horrendous.

The Toraja believe their animals must follow them into heaven as well as some of their possessions, like the ancient Egyptians or my aunt with her handbag.

Image by Dan Adams 4&(# *.';(5# "8# /)251,2(/# +(@(*+/# "*# the wealth of the family (and, I guess, &"9# '.2&# -".# 31D(# $&(# 8)'13-# '(';(5<=# Other relatives also bring along their own animals to be slaughtered as a sign of respect for the deceased. It took the men 16 minutes to totally decapitate and divide up the buffalo. I was timing it. I &()5+#Mc#;.88)3"#)*+#3"$/#"8#@1%/#9".3+#;(# ()$(*#"0(5#$&(#c#+)-/=#^*+#9(#2"'@3)1*# about turkey sandwiches on Boxing Day! For the rest of the afternoon, I watched male buffalo wrestling. The local men cheered, whooped and made bets. When one buffalo got the upper hand, the other made a run for it followed by the stronger bull. The crowd ran for it too. The buffalo had poor eye-sight and ran in blind panic.

Only once did we get a great battle.

49"# (0(*3-# ')$2&(+# ;.33/# 8".%&$# 8"5# ON# minutes, one getting underneath and J1@@1*%# $&(# "$&(5# "0(5=# 4&(-# 8".%&$# "*7# the testosterone burning until they both fell down a steep bank into the river. I left /""*#)8$(5#$&)$=#C-#J1@@(5/#)*+#8(($#9(5(# literally covered in bullshit. One more Van g)''(# ,3'# 3)$(5# Eg".;3(# Z'@)2$# )*+# ;"-7# +1+# 1$# 8((3# 31D(# 1$<7# Z# 3(8$# 4)*)# 4"5)I)=# The night bus took me from the island of Sulawesi, onto the rest of the eversurprising country of Indonesia.

ART ATTACK: HOW ARE ARTS IN NOTTINGHAM SURVIVING THE CUTS?

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- Isabel Roth

Across the country, cuts in the Arts are beginning to bite. We in Nottingham should probably count ourselves lucky that venues like the Nottingham Contemporary and New Art Exchange opened before the coalition entered the frame. Though both galleries are facing imminent Arts Council funding cuts, at least they are here, open, and thriving. Head down the M1 to Leicester and it’s a different picture: plans for a new gallery in the city have been scrapped, which is a blow to Leicester’s contemporary art scene.

With cuts hitting the police, social services, and education, there may be a temptation to see arts as luxuries areas that are ripe for making a few cuts. “The money has got to come from somewhere,” says Robert Wann, Leicester City Council’s lead member for culture, “I think it would be wrong, while we’re making people redundant at the council, to continue funding an expensive art gallery.” You can’t help but wonder how attitudes like this might have affected Nottingham’s galleries, had the cuts come a little earlier.

Despite arts seeming obvious areas in 9&12&#$"#/)0(#)#8(9#E&.*+5(+#$&"./)*+<# pennies during times of economic crisis, they are also areas that people feel @)5$12.3)53-# @)//1"*)$(# );".$=# :1%&S @5",3(# 2)'@)1%*/# 1*+12)$(# $&)$# $&(# @.;312# 1/# ,%&$1*%# ;)2D# 1*# "5+(5# $"# /)0(# cultural services and institutions from the 2&"@=#>&(*#$&(#*(9/#;5"D(#$&)$#$&(#g:# Lawrence heritage centre in Eastwood may be forced to close, everyone from Salman Rushdie to Peter Barlow ‘off

of Corrie’ joined the campaign to save 1$=# 4&(# ,*)3# +(21/1"*# &)/# *"$# -($# ;((*# made, with Broxtowe Council torn between the best social option, which is to leave the centre as it is, and the best economic option, which is to sell it.

Either way, the council has pledged to 5($)1*#$&(#g:#i)95(*2(#(B&1;1$1"*7#(0(*# if they are forced to sell off the building.

The question remains whether this was +"9*# $"# 1$/# &1%&# @5",3(# /.@@"5$(5/# "5# )# genuine concern for a mainstay of the East Midland’s cultural heritage.

But cuts to arts and culture go beyond galleries and museums. Communitybased arts organisations don’t necessarily gain a high degree of media attention, yet they serve a more important function than people may realise. Recently, Impact spoke to City Arts, a Radford-based organisation that brings the arts to a range of community groups, including young people and those with mental health issues. I met 91$&# \&1(8# TB(2.$10(# C)+(3(1*(# :"3'(/# and Creative Programmes Manager Kate Duncan to discuss how the cuts have affected City Arts, the local community, and beyond.

“People who aren’t familiar with the arts sector could see it as a luxury, but it’s more than that,” explains Duncan, “It’s a different way of seeing the world.”

Like many arts organisations, City Arts 9133#8)2(#)#l=_b#2.$#1*#8.*+1*%#85"'#$&(# ^5$/#\".*213#*(B$#-()5=#:"9(0(57#$&(#^5$/# Council has “worked very hard to stagger the impact of funding cuts”, according to :"3'(/7#)*+#$&(#5()3#2&)*%(/#9133#2"'(# from the “accumulated cuts”, when

funding from local authorities is likely $"# ;(# 5(+.2(+# '"5(# /1%*1,2)*$3-=# ^5$/# organisations must look for new ways to %(*(5)$(# 1*2"'(7# 9&12&# 2)*# ;(# +18,2.3$# in a period of such uncertainty. !@()D1*%# '"5(# ;5")+3-7# :"3'(/# has noticed “a rising level of anxiety about what is going to happen when allowances are cut” amongst people that the organisation currently works with.

And similarly for young people, “Arts activity in education is being cut, so those avenues for young people to explore their potential are going”. Eventually, this closing off of opportunities will have wide-reaching consequences, “We as an organisation, and the arts generally, need fresh talent coming through,” /)-/# :"3'(/7# F>(# *((+# $&1*%/# $"# /$)-# innovative and exciting.”

On the other hand, there are positives to the current situation. “Although City Arts faces a lot of challenges, I don’t feel completely pessimistic,” contests :"3'(/7# F\1$-# ^5$/# &)/# ;((*# %"1*%# for more than thirty years and it has weathered an awful lot of storms.”

Maybe arts organisations will need to ;(#'"5(#J(B1;3(#)*+#"@(*#$"#2&)*%(#1*# "5+(5# $"# J".51/&# 1*# $&(# 8.$.5(=# A(5&)@/# other organisations can take inspiration from the City Arts attitude to the threat of cuts in funding: “Maybe the debate itself is no bad thing, because it keeps the arts at the forefront of people’s thinking”, /)-/#:"3'(/=#FZ$Y/#"*3-#9&(*#-".Y0(#3"/$# something that you actually know how important it was.”

Image by Kate Duncan

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suggests ultimately that the evils that pursue us are of our own making.

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

This story follows a hapless U.S Army Forces Bombardier who wishes to somehow escape the looming threat of death or fatal injury during World War Two. Incredibly funny and well written, Z#2)**"$#&(3@#;.$#8((3#%5)$(8.3#$"#:(33(5# for giving me a way to articulate the majority of my unsolvable dilemmas whilst stuck in this limbo that is studenthood.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Image by Victoria Urquhart

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION: MUST READ MORE! - Melanie Solomon

Sartre once said, “Everything I have learned about my life, it seems I .3:!$ )!3'+!1$ ,+$ *%%>"V`$ a!'!$ 2!$ 0+1$ ourselves at university for ‘x’ number of years under the guise of wanting to learn more and to better ourselves. We might go to lectures, read the set texts and learn a few life lessons along the way, but is it enough?

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I don’t feel any wiser for being at university for nearly three years, or any more grown up. I constantly have this nagging feeling that I should be doing more with my time. Things like volunteering, work placements, getting a part time job, joining more societies, reading more...

Z# 2".3+# %"# "*=# # :)01*%# *(0(5# 8"33"9(+# $&5".%&# 91$&# $&(/(# J(($1*%# '"'(*$/# "8# panic and in the interest of taking baby steps, my New Year’s resolution was to read more. Then maybe later I will attempt to conquer the rest of the neverending list of things I should be doing whilst at university. With this in mind I compiled a short list of unranked, must read, potentially life-altering books that

ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

'1%&$# 5(J(2$]2"'@31'(*$](*&)*2(](0(*# provide more insight into the university experience.

Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray

This so called ‘novel without a hero’ is a dark portrayal of the fate of human nature succumbing to vanity through greed, idleness and snobbery - a charmingly relatable story as it sometimes feels that to pass go at the University of Nottingham you’ll need to be armed with at least a pair of Uggs, a Blackberry and Mini Cooper...

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

The focus of Frankenstein is not so much on gothic horror but the pursuit of knowledge and the evils of knowing too much or too little – it brings into question creationism and the role of creator. It explores the possible reality that Frankenstein’s monster is a product of how humanity has nurtured him, and

In this semi-autobiographical novel we are immediately thrust into the world of M_S-()5S"3+#/$.+(*$#T/$&(5#e5((*9""+=# Whilst interning for a magazine in New York, she reaches an impasse in her life: although incredibly academic, focussed, and well within reach of her dreams, when self doubt sets in her life begins to spiral out of control - before completely %"1*%#.@#1*#J)'(/=#K*(#$"#5()+#;(8"5(# heading off into the world of work!

The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Do not let the fact that it is essentially a children’s book put you off – it’s one of the bestselling books of all time for a reason. We learn about philosophical workings of life and human nature through the impartial eyes of a child, deeply idealistic and thought provoking.

It takes very little effort to read, and has the bonus of coming with pictures – appealing directly to that inner child that university life so often brings out in people!

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (A Trilogy of Four) by Douglas Adams

Ignore the abomination that was the PNNQ#,3'7#)/#1$#+"(/#*"$#2"'@)5(#$"#$&(# pure comedy genius of Adams’ novel.

This is a beacon of British comedy, or perhaps stupidity. University seems to rush past in a blink of an eye, so at times I feel how the main character Arthur Dent feels when he says “that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”

Don’t let the world pass you by – grab your towel, stick out your thumb and go see what the world has to offer.

ROMAN SEXUALITY:

IMAGES, MYTHS AND MEANINGS @ LAKESIDE - Margret Adeagbo

Seeing such a range of artistic and archaeological artefacts from the Ancient World under one roof is a rare occurrence, not least one that centres on the idea of Roman sexuality. This exclusive exhibition - located in the Weston Gallery on University Park campus - focuses on images of homosexual and idealised love and how the Romans viewed themselves and their own sexual conduct within society. The collection was inherited and expanded by the British Museum, University of Nottingham, Nottingham City Museums, and the University of Cambridge.

4&(# R"')*/# )5(# @(5&)@/# *"$# $&(# ,5/$# populace that spring to mind when one thinks of sexuality, but this display debuts a myriad of artefacts from the Roman world which focuses on this exact subject. Not only does the exhibition delve into homosexuality in Ancient Rome but also love between gods and immortals; an ivory plaque from Alexandria can be found amongst the gems, depicting Jupiter as a swan 2"@.3)$1*%#91$&#i(+)#E^gMSPNN<=##Z$Y/#8)15# to say then, conventional ideas about sexuality are hard to glean from such an object.

The Roman World, like many facets 1*# &1/$"5-7# 1/# +18,2.3$# $"# +)$(# (B)2$3-7# however to focus on historical accuracy alone would be to miss the point here.

What these artefacts do offer is an overview of the essence and era of Rome in all its grandeur. The relics may not be as decadent and impressive as some great monuments associated with Ancient Rome, such as the Coliseum, Aqueducts of Agrippa, and Pagan Temples, but what they do succeed in doing is reviving the subject of sexuality. They are simple and yet impressive artefacts which to the untrained eye may appear overtly sexual, but to a Roman they expressed their ideology through subtle and widely accepted messages.

The collection is a superb achievement in the blending of artistic and archaeological forms; the displays of mythical sexual activity along with those of Roman reality contribute to its overall appeal. They provide historical documentation that only a visual medium can convey and emphasise the power of sexual relations.

To miss the opportunity to immerse oneself in this melodious wealth of art and history from the people who, in many respects, gave us the world we live in today, would be a great shame.

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arts&culture Blagger’s Guide to…

THE WARREN Adeagbo & CUP -Margret Michael de Vletter If there is a masterpiece of the collection currently at the Weston Gallery, the title would surely go to the Warren Cup, or in Greek Kanthoros, named after American art collector Edward Perry Warren (c.15BC-15AD). Set in sterling silver, this piece has unique depictions of homoerotic sexual acts, further adorned with musical instruments and lavish fabrics. However the cup is not without controversy.

Museums in the 1950s refused to buy it because the subject matter was viewed as obscene.

One side shows a scene that might /(('# '"5(# ,$$1*%# 8"5# $&(# *"$"51"./# museums of Amsterdam rather than our very own university. A boy is depicted lowering himself onto an older gentleman with the help of a rope hanging from the ceiling, whilst watched by a voyeur in the corner.

The other side is slightly less ‘out there’, simply showing two young men making love.

This cup would not have been kept hidden by its owner, but was instead passed around at a dinner party E2"*0101.'<# $"# ;(# /$.+1(+7# )+'15(+# )*+# )1+(# $&(# J"9# "8# 2"*0(5/)$1"*=# Z$# would have been neither taboo nor unusual to have such a possession and truly shows that the liberal culture modern Britain prides itself on is still, in some ways, way behind the times when compared to Ancient Greece and Rome.

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science symmetry to be a visual marker of health.

Dr Marquadt, an avid researcher of human attractiveness, suggests that the most beautiful face is one that closely adheres to the “golden ratio” of mathematical proportions which are +(510(+# 85"'# $&(# *.';(5# @&1# EM=lMc<=# :(#&)/#+(/1%*(+#)#')/D#9&12&#1/#')+(# up of various shapes — all measured on the calculations of phi, arguing that the closer a person’s features adhere to these proportions, the more attractive they are perceived to be.

Youth, of course, with its obvious indication of female fecundity, is shown to be rated as more attractive. Fertility in women decreases with age, so the notion of ideal partners for a male being ‘half their age + 7’ is not too far from the truth. :()+1*%#*"9#$"#@&-/12)3#)$$5)2$1"*#91$&# regard to body shapes, studies show that 9"'(*#91$&#)#9)1/$S$"S&1@#5)$1"#E>:R<#"8# N=V#)5(#+(('(+#$&(#'"/$#)$$5)2$10(7#91$&# researcher Devendra Singh observing that all of the Miss America winners from $&(# M_PN/# $&5".%&# $"# $&(# M_cN/# )33# &)+# )# >:R# $&)$# 0(5-# 23"/(3-# 2"55(/@"*+(+# 91$&# $&(# 1+()3# "8# N=V=# 4&1/# )%)1*# 31*D/# $"# 8(5$131$-s#)#>:R#"8#N=V#1/#@5(/(*$#9&(*#)# woman produces the required amount of hormones, which ultimately means $&(#2)*+1+)$(#9133#&)0(#/.8,21(*$#(*(5%-# to rear her offspring. Additionally, those 91$&#>:R/#23"/(#$"#N=V#)5(#/&"9*#$"#;(# less prone to a variety of diseases and infections, all of which are important factors in the mating game.

LOOKING GOOD - Settit Beyene

In this day and age, a disproportionately large emphasis is placed on physical attractiveness and external appearance. The catwalks are dominated by impossibly thin, young, attractive men and women — the superlative epitome of physical attractiveness, or so we are indoctrinated into believing. However, this is not just cultural dogma gone 431b$ /.!'!$ ,"$ 3$ "(,!+/,0($ *3","$ 3"$ to why they are largely perceived as attractive and why the media Q3-'3+/)6$ !+(%&'3-!"$ &"$ /%$ 3"7,'!$ /%$ these ideals, with information galore on diets and images of archetypal (!)!*',/,!"$2.%$0/$/.,"$4%&)1V Obviously different cultures and societies will have varying perceptions of beauty

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and what characteristics constitute an attractive person. Science blogger Rebecca Donatelli concurs, arguing that “it is a combination of cultural and biological factors combined that make some people more beautiful than others”.

On a biological basis, some things are found to be universally attractive, such as facial symmetry; those with symmetrical faces are deemed more attractive than those with asymmetrical features.* This could perhaps be due to the fact that symmetrical features are thought to be indicative of health, as our genes initially determine that we should develop symmetrically. Infections during pregnancy can cause asymmetries and only those who are able to withstand these are successful in retaining more symmetrical features, allowing facial

On an evolutionary basis, women seek out men with the best traits to procreate 91$&=# u.)31$1(/# 31D(# ,*)*21)3# /(2.51$-7# strength and dependability being fundamental to the rearing of potential offspring. Women play a much larger role than males in the process of childbearing and thus are choosier when it comes to selecting males; attractiveness is not rated as highly amongst women as it is with men. Universally women tend to prefer men who are a few years older than them and with income generally increasing with age, it is no wonder that women may have a biological and social bias to being ‘gold-diggers’ — or simply /((D1*%#,*)*21)3#/(2.51$-#)*+#/$);131$-#8"5# their potential offspring. *For more about facial symmetry and beauty, please check out “The Weekly Scientist on Beauty” on www. impactnottingham.com.

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science

GETTING ‘PERSONAL’: THE PECULIARITIES OF ATTRACTION - Emma Saxon

A glance through the personal ads in /.!$ +!2"737!'$ (%+0'4"$ 2.3/$ 4%"/$ of us might have been expecting when it comes to seeking out the perfect partner: one study of 1000 such advertisements in the USA found that indicators of high fertility and good resources — like physical 377!3'3+(!#$ 3-!$ 3+1$ 0+3+(,3)$ "/3/&"$ — were frequent, and are major players in the decisions we make.

This makes sense; other species go by similar cues that maximise healthy offspring, and therefore the amount of the parent’s genes that make it to the next generation. But some common preferences that the Lonely Hearts column throws up seem to have no relation to reproductive success, and don’t come into the equation at all in other species. What are these quirks, and what makes us humans buy into them?

Xe!K:Y# E)# %""+# /(*/(# "8# &.'".5<# 1/# a popular trait in the dating stakes — mostly offered by men, and in high demand amongst women. In opposite sex interactions, men provoke the most laughter: even from a young age, silly schoolboys make girls giggle. The gender difference is enigmatic. After all, everyone likes a good laugh — it triggers the release of dopamine, a signalling chemical in the brain that makes us feel good. In most cultures, high-ranking individuals get the most laughs from their subordinates, a sign of power. It’s controversial, but this could explain why more women laugh at men in traditionally patriarchal societies like ours. On the other hand, laughter’s association with positive emotions could

work to a female advantage; for example, *(50"./#3).%&$(5#85"'#)#9"')*#"*#)#,5/$# date can put a man at ease. But men should beware of trying this trick the other way round — nervousness is more 2"''"*#)'"*%/$#9"'(*#"*#)#,5/$#+)$(7# and the unsubtle sound of laughter can increase tension rather than reduce it! A study of breastfeeding mothers suggests a more offbeat explanation: mothers of babies with eczema that breastfed after 3).%&1*%#)$#2"'(+-#,3'/#/)9#5(+.2$1"*/# in severity of the skin condition and increased calmness in their children.

This is thought to be due to an increase in a sleep-regulating hormone called melatonin, which can be found in breast milk. A laid-back baby is inevitably less stressful to raise – an excellent reason to choose a funny partner.

Kissing: it may be love you think you’re /&)51*%7# ;.$# $&)$Y/# *"$# )33=# !21(*$1,2)33-# speaking, a kiss is a veritable swapshop for the billions of bacteria lurking in your mouth. Nice. So, why do we like a good kisser? Though our ancestors may have kissed, it’s unlikely that humans are genetically “programmed” for it — some cultures, such as the inhabitants of the 1/3)*+#"8#C)*%1)#1*#$&(#!".$&#A)21,27#+"*Y$# kiss at all, implying that it’s determined by culture. Bizarrely, Eskimo kisses in which only noses are rubbed together might give a clue as to why kissing evolved. Studies have demonstrated that women prefer the scent of men with different immune system proteins (called C:\/<# $"# $&(15# "9*r# $&(# 1+()# 1/# $&)$# children with healthier immune systems result from mixing genes that govern C:\# @5"+.2$1"*# 1*# $&(15# @)5(*$/# v# $&(#

more different, the better. Lip kissing may have just been a sensible progression from there; lips are full of nerve endings and kissing releases endorphins, the chemicals responsible for that warm, fuzzy feeling. Besides, try asking for a goodnight sniff with a straight face…

According to women, intelligence is almost always sexy. Although it makes for more interesting conversation, better jobs and higher earnings, it’s not immediately obvious what the biological basis for this preference is. Intelligent men may make better lifestyle decisions, such as eating healthily and exercising, making them attractive to women because their children are more likely to make the same self-preserving choices.

But that can’t be the whole story; some intelligent people still make poor health choices, like smoking.

One recent study claims that intelligence might actually be an indicator of reproductive ability: detailed data from a survey of US Army veterans, containing measures of intelligence, as well as of sperm count and motility, showed that /@(5'#`.)31$-#E;(31(0(#1$#"5#*"$<#1/#&1%&(5# in more intelligent men. Oddly enough, it makes sense. Even though brains might seem like a bizarre manifestation of reproductive success, some of the same genes are involved in controlling the production of healthy neuron and sperm components, such as polyunsaturated 8)$$-# )21+/# EAHW^/<7# 9&12&# ')-# )22".*$# for the correlation. Clever stuff.

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science

THE SCIENCE OF LUUUUUURVE - Jess Reynolds & Doñah Sabbagh

J/$,"$0+3))6$%:!'c$/.!$4%+/.$%8$)%:!$3+1$ cheesiness. February is the month when being single suddenly means you’re going to die alone, pink is the new black and most people want a little piece of the romantic action! every single year, we have to prepare ourselves for getting overwhelmed by vomit-inducing gestures, annoying love songs and overly commercialised heart-shaped stuff, because apparently on Valentine’s Day “all you need is love”. That’s right people — who needs food or shelter when we have our craziest of emotions to keep us warm? Before you decide that I’m being too cynical, consider the fact that “crazy” is a more accurate description of love than most people would like to *!),!:!V$X%$)!/P"$0F$/.3/V “Your heart sweats, your body shakes, another kiss is what it takes”: a wonderfully steamy little line from Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love”.

This sums up perfectly the pulse-racing, stomach-tightening, breath-catching phenomenon that is desire. Desire or 3./$# 1/# $&(# ,5/$# /$)%(# "8# 8)331*%# 1*# 3"0(=# R(/()52&#/.%%(/$/#$&)$#$&(#1+(*$1,2)$1"*# of a potential mate and the altering levels of hormones it causes within us can give us the physical symptoms of desire and aid the bonding process that leads to the further stages of love.

Lusting after someone is a very primal instinct where we want nothing more $&)*# /1'@3(# /(B.)3# %5)$1,2)$1"*=# Z$# is believed that we initially evolved this desire to motivate us to seek out partners for reproduction. When we are attracted to someone it triggers the release of testosterone and oestrogen, increasing our sexual desire and driving us to seek union with the object of our affections. When this task is achieved E9&12&# 1/# 3"$# ()/1(5# /)1+# $&)*# +"*(<# 1$# causes the release of further bonding hormones, which play an important role in the next stage of falling in love: attraction.

Attraction, also known as obsessive love, involves the reward hormone dopamine which helps deepen the bond between partners. Dopamine

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is our brain’s treat to itself; increased levels of this hormone are associated with excess levels of energy, loss of appetite and euphoria. Sound familiar?

4&"/(# 31$$3(# ;.$$(5J1(/# -".# %($7# *(0(5# being able to sit still, always having a massive smile on your face. Increased levels of dopamine occur when we see our lover or even just think of them.

Love is usually referred to as a drug as these high levels of dopamine can be addictive. They lead us to be anxious and unsettled when we can’t see or be with our partner and therefore are no longer receiving the regular ‘hit’ of dopamine we’re used to. This is the same mechanism through which drug addictions act; an addict becomes dependent on the high levels of dopamine released by the continuous intake of particular drugs. In a way, we’re all truly ‘addicted to love’.

Finally, the stage of attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise children. This is largely controlled by two hormones: oxytocin (‘the cuddle &"5'"*(Y<# )*+# 0)/"@5(//1*=# 6"$&# )5(# released by men and women after sex (in the case of oxytocin, release is after "5%)/'#1*#@)5$12.3)5<7#/$5(*%$&(*1*%#$&(# bond between them and deepening their feelings for one another. The more sex a couple has the stronger their bond becomes. So sex without love – not so easy after all!

No matter how sceptical about love you might be, there is no denying it – love is one awfully powerful emotion!

Just to put things into perspective, the symptoms of attraction are said to be similar to the effects of cocaine and codeine put together. And yet, an experiment once found that if you meet a complete stranger, reveal intimate +($)13/# );".$# -".5# 310(/# 8"5# ON# '1*.$(/# and then stare into one another’s eyes without speaking for 4 minutes, you will most likely develop a deep attraction for one another after a mere 34 minutes. In fact, two of the subjects in the original experiment later got married! For such a violent emotion that is capable of messing with your head, heart, sleeping and eating patterns, it turns out falling in love is dangerously easy…

Image by Grace Petchey

s

science

The scent of women’s tears decreases a man’s sexual arousal.

wtf!

Spermatozoa have the highest morphological variability amongst the cells of the animal kingdom.

There is no evidence indicating that young people are engaging in sex at earlier ages.

‘Blue’ roses were normally created by dying white roses until in 2004, a Japanese company introduced genetically modified blue-ish (actually mauve) roses.

Men with longer ring fingers compared to their index fingers were exposed to more testosterone in the uterus, and are thus likely to be more masculine.

An adult human heart is about the size of your two fists put together, and a child’s heart is the size of just one fist.

WEIRD but TRUE FACTS

Approx. 45% of the difference between women’s (in)ability to reach an orgasm is genetic.

The length of most animals’ lives is approximately equal to the time it takes for their heart to beat 1 billion times, with the exception of humans --- if this were true for us; we’d only live to early adulthood.

THOUGHT GIRLS WERE FICKLE? BLAME THE PILL! - Bonnie Brown

\.!$7,))#$3((%'1,+-$/%$'!"!3'(.#$,"$'&8Q,+-$&7$O%/.!'$G3/&'!P"$ feathers by disrupting the natural selection patterns of women during their mate choice.

Women who undergo their natural ovulating cycles are said to be more innately attracted towards the archetypal alpha males.

It is the female’s ability to smell out the immune system genes from male body odour that is used to discriminate between ')3(/# 8"5# ')$(# 2&"12(=# >"'(*# /.@@"/(+3-# /((D# ".$# C:\# E')I"5#&1/$"2"'@)$1;131$-#2"'@3(B<#%(*(/7#9&12&#)5(#%(*($12)33-# dissimilar to themselves. This enables a better promise of genetically healthy offspring, who can inherit a diverse set of 1''.*(#/-/$('#%(*(/=#C:\#%(*(/#&(3@#91$&#$&(#/-*$&(/1/#"8# proteins within the immune system and assist in shaping the effects of pheromones. Pheromones are chemical messengers produced through perspiration at the surface of the skin and provide information about an individual’s potential genetic viability.

During a study on female selection, Dr Craig Roberts and his $()'# )*)3-/(+# $&(# C:\# %(*(# @)$$(5*/# "8# MNN# 9"'(*=# 4&(-# then asked these women to smell six male odour samples and choose which one they preferred. The experiment was 2)551(+# ".$# $912(s# $&(# 9"'(*# 9(5(# %10(*# *"$&1*%# 1*# $&(# ,5/$#

experiment, but in the second experiment they were given the pill beforehand. There was a noticeable difference between the two experiments, with the participants who had taken the pill preferring the odours of genetically similar males. The researchers presumed that the effects of taking the pill can induce a pregnancy-like condition within the female body and so the need for choosing the genetically right partner becomes reduced. They believe that this was due to the suppression of 2(5$)1*#&"5'"*(/#E"(/$5"%(*#)*+#@5"%(/$(5"*(<=# FG"$# "*3-# 2".3+# C:\S/1'13)51$-# 1*# 2".@3(/# 3()+# $"# 8(5$131$-# problems but it could ultimately lead to the breakdown of relationships when women stop using the contraceptive pill, as "+".5#@(52(@$1"*#@3)-/#)#/1%*1,2)*$#5"3(#1*#')1*$)1*1*%#)$$5)2$1"*# to partners”, Dr Craig Roberts concluded from his study.

Looking at these types of research, Dr Alvergne and Dr. Lumma have proposed that women who are on the pill could appear less sexually attractive to men than ovulating women. Again this might be because women who take the pill produce pregnancy state signals that steer away males. Nevertheless, there still remains a lot of doubt within this research area, particularly at &"9#25.21)3#C:\#+1//1'13)51$-#"+".5#+($(2$1"*#1/#9&(*#1$#2"'(/# to sexual selection.

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n nights

MORTAR BOARD MEALS For thousands of students at Nottingham University, graduation is imminent. Along with gowns, diplomas and the impending ‘gold rush’ (Look it up – Ed), one of the greatest traditions during this time is being taken for a slap-up meal by family and friends. Therefore, Nights is here to give you some ideas of places to visit, and as restaurants book up fast, we’re starting in this issue. We will bracket our restaurants broadly into three categories. Something Fancy are those establishments that are high in price, reputation and demand. Great Food, Great Value does exactly what it says on the tin, and A Little Bit Different are aimed at those who want to show their loved ones Nottingham’s fabulous alternative side...

SOMETHING FANCY ...

MICHELIN SUPER-STAR -Elouise Smith

If you are looking for the most upmarket, exclusive restaurant in Nottingham for your graduation, look no further than Restaurant Sat Bains, the only eatery in the city with a Michelin star. Even better for students, it is on Lenton Lane, very close to the heart of the student community, so a trip to this TV chef’s gaff would be a quick and hassle-free one for you and your family.

Perhaps surprisingly for somewhere with such prestige, Restaurant Sat Bains emanates a warm cosiness to all who visit. Candle-lit, well-spaced tables allow couples and groups to happily dine in the same space, which helps generate a friendly and welcoming )$'"/@&(5(=# :"/@1$)31$-# /$)88# )5(# I./$# )/# affable and diligent as the service staff, who will impress you with their detailed knowledge of where all ingredients come from and their ability to seemingly never let your glass be empty for too long!

There are a number of different routes to go down when it comes to food, but

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everything you taste will have one thing in common – it will be perfectly balanced. A particular favourite for television viewers might be the dish of peas, duck egg and &)'#$&)$#/2"5(+#!)$#)#@(58(2$#MN]MN#"*# Great British Menu, which comes as an extra treat on some menus.

In terms of price, though the overall ,%.5(/# ')-# ')D(# -".5# (-(/# 91+(*# E"@$1"*/# /$)5$# )$# LQQ# )# &()+# )*+# 51/(# $"# LPQN<7#3""D1*%#)#31$$3(#23"/(5#9133#/&"9#-".# $&)$# 5".%&3-# -".# 9133# @)-# LMN# )# 2".5/(# for the regular options. For Michelin star dining – and be in no doubt, this is

an exquisite experience – that doesn’t represent bad value at all. And if you want to give your loved ones a great experience before you leave Nottingham forever, some menus offer the chance to meet and greet the man himself.

If you want to go out of Nottingham with a bang, then this has to be the place for you. Restaurant Sat Bains is the perfect place to celebrate such a special occasion, because though you may be paying more than usual, you’ll get a genuinely extraordinary dining experience.

n nights A LIT TLE BIT DIFFERENT ...

ALL THAI’D UP!

-Lucinda Richardson

Though a series of Siberian winters and pathetic summers have dulled any recollection of it, in 2006 Great Britain had a heat wave. The temperature in Nottingham at the time, however, was already on the rise with the opening of a new restaurant, Tarn Thai. Despite being 5931 miles from Bangkok, this restaurant, nestled in George Street, provides anyone with an appetite for authentic Thai cuisine with the opportunity for indulgence.

No sense will be left neglected; the welcoming smell of exotic spices and lime is testimony to the decades of experience the Thai chefs here have accumulated. The scenic interior, adorned with art and water features, successfully captures some of Thailand’s natural beauty. Soothing music and chairs with silk linings and cushions ensure a state of perfect relaxation.

Staff are impeccably dressed and their

constant presence is reassuring - your water glass will never be empty.

The menu is quite extensive, to the point that it will provide even the most decisive of diners a few moments of self-doubt.

The lunchtime deal provides two courses and a choice of tea or coffee for only LV=_Q=#K8#$9(30(#/$)5$(5/7#)#5()3#8)0".51$(# 1/# e)1# :"5# 6)1# 4(.-7# 9&12&# $5)*/3)$(/# $"# ‘marinated chicken wrapped in pandan leaves’. It’s fun, messy and tastes exquisite.

For the main course, the menu divides into sections of beef, pork, chicken and duck. There are also a number of vegetarian substitute options. Each is accompanied by sticky white rice shaped 1*#)#&()5$#"5#J"9(57#)*+#)#'1*1#/)3)+#91$&# rose shaped carrots. The effort is very touching; I can’t think of any better form of art than an edible one. Flavours are so meticulously balanced that you can taste the individual ingredients, and even the fussiest of family palettes won’t fail to )@@5(21)$(#$&(#+(312)$(#8./1"*/#"8#J)0".5= A little advice regarding desserts: skim the options advertising funny banana and rice pudding concoctions and choose three scoops of ice cream. Silky $(B$.5(#)*+#1*25(+1;3(#J)0".5#)/1+(7#$&(-# are presented with fruit, pink sprinkles

GREAT FOOD, GREAT VALUE ...

appetiser choice. The restaurant’s relatively compact selection of mains is indicative of the quality of each dish, with a particular highlight in the form of ‘Le Bourguignon’, a sumptuous piece of beef with shallots, red wine, mushrooms and bacon. The meat is so tender it practically leaps off $&(# ;"*(=# \"*/1+(51*%# $&(# LMN=VQ# @512(# $)%7# -".Y+# ;(# 0(5-# &)5+# @5(//(+# $"# ,*+# more delicious or better value beef dish anywhere else. Also, for anyone who cringes at the thought of sharing food, fear not; the communal plate of seasonal vegetables and potatoes that accompany all main courses will see you reaching for your belt buckle long before you’re grabbing at your companion’s plate.

LE BISTROT PIERRE -Mim Etchells

You could be forgiven for walking past the unassuming renovated bank on Milton Street in your quest for the perfect graduation day restaurant, but you’ll have missed Le Bistrot Pierre – a charming French eatery that aims to make everyday dining special. Though perhaps not quite as intimate as some of Nottingham’s selfproclaimed upmarket establishments, the restaurant has a warm and inviting atmosphere, with such classy decor that you’ll forget that you’re mere metres from the hustle and bustle of the town centre.

The attentive and speedy service will have you zealously spreading whole roast garlic bulbs on bread before you’ve even had time to question the wisdom behind your surprisingly delicious

Le Bistrot Pierre’s domination of the ‘outstanding value’ category in the Nottingham Restaurant Awards over the past decade seems fully deserved. Value oozes all the way from the à la carte menu to the even more appealing lunch menu,

and extra cream – an unexpected and absolute delight. For a graduation meal, whether you come with friends or family, for lunch or dinner, if you want to sample $&(# ,*(/$7# ;(/$# 0)3.(# 4&)1# 8""+7# ;""D# Tarn Thai.

which boasts three courses for just LMM=VQ=#Z*+((+7#18#-".#)5(#3.2D-#(*".%&# to graduate on Tuesday 12 July, you can experience the bi-monthly ‘Soirée Gastronomique’, an astonishing six 2".5/(/#8"5#$&(#3.+125"./#@512(#"8#LPM=_N=# As if this weren’t enough, the restaurant also runs a loyalty card system, which, though a must for any student-aware establishment, is rendered unnecessary due to the sheer quality of the bistrot that will surely see you return.

As a venue for a post-graduation celebration or nostalgic farewell to parent-funded dinners, Le Bistrot Pierre won’t disappoint you. The combination of exceptional and reasonably priced food, diligent customer care, and a stylish 0(*.(# $&)$# 9(32"'(/# $&(# '"/$# 5(,*(+# diners (as well as our less well behaved -".*%(5# /1;31*%/<# 5(/.3$/# 1*# $&(# @(58(2$# dining experience to mark your transition from status-confused undergrad to worldly graduate.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM/NIGHTS IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

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n nights

KING OF THE SWINGERS? -Bex Archer

It’s about time Nottingham hosted a night where you can dress up like a dandy to dance the Charleston and leave with your bow tie around your ankles, so we’d like to thank Tim Moorhouse and Josh Neely for bringing new night ‘Swing’ to Spanky van Dykes. Imagine beginning the evening waltzing pleasantly with 9&-"6$ O3)%+!$ 3+1$ 0+,".,+-$ *!,+-$ Q&+-$3'%&+1$/%$/.!$".',!>$%8$/'&47!/"$

by The Jungle Book’s Louie, King of the Apes – fabulous.

4&(# 0(*.(# 9)/# $(551,2)33-# 9(33# 2&"/(*7# complete with quirky paraphernalia 85"'# $&(# ON/]UN/7# "3+# 5(2"5+/# )*+# photographs adorning the walls, and other visual goodies such as a bizarre

caravan installation. There was an effective contrast between the ambience "*#()2&#J""57#91$&#)#310(3-#E)3;(1$#/9()$-<# .@/$)15/# +)*2(# J""5# 9&(5(# $&(# ;)*+# played, and a spacious downstairs chillout area where drinks could be drunk without being spilt.

A live swing group kicked off the evening, with impressive performances from saxophone, keyboards and a suitably smoky voiced singer. The DJ then @"/1$10(3-# $"5(# $&(# +)*2(# J""5# )# *(9# trilby, pumping a stunning mixture of familiar sounding beats and unknown gems, all with a toe- tapping ‘electro swing’ vibe. Think ‘Itchy Feet’ but less twisting and more mad cancan-ing, or X491/$(+# :()5$/Y# ;.$# 3(//# 2)5*10)3=# 4&(#

atmosphere was electrifying; people were pulling out the sort of moves usually reserved for Fatboy Slim videos, and were genuinely unwilling to leave at the end of the night.

As with all launch nights there were a few downfalls. Drinks prices were pretty (B$"5$1"*)$(# ELO=QN# 8"5# )# /1*%3(# %1*# )*+# $"*12<7#$&".%&#8"5#;((5#/9133(5/#$&(5(#9)/# the offer of four Red Stripes for a tenner.

The queue was similarly heinous: getting tickets in advance is recommended, but assurances have been made that next time there will be more on the door.

Overall ‘Swing’ was exceptionally well judged. The costumes were fantastic, the atmosphere was spot on and the gimmicks were well supported by the music. If you enjoy shaking a tail feather in any way shape or form, you’d be dimwitted not to go to the next one.

Z')%(/#;-#\&)53(/#:)5"@Se518,$&/

PENTHOUSE SWEET? -Sarah Dawood

Any Nottingham University student will know that our fair city is never lacking in new additions to the already thriving, diverse selection of clubs and bars. Nottingham’s newest-kidon-the-block, The Penthouse, is a two-storey club situated in the heart of The Lace Market. Brandishing the name Noise Box on a Thursday as its 43,+$ "/&1!+/$ +,-./#$ 6%&$ 436#$ 3/$ 0'"/$ recognition, justly compare Noise Box to any other generic, mainstream promotional night. It does, after all, exactly what it says on the bottle student prices, Rihanna and excessive amounts of strobe lighting. :"9(0(57# 9&)$# ')D(/# $&1/# 0(*.(#

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initially stand out from the crowd is the interesting variety in music as the night wears on. A peculiar track merge of Pink to a remix of Fake Blood’s ‘I Think I Like It’ had ears pricked and eyebrows raised.

The distinct lack of cheese from the DJ’s playlist is a refreshing departure from the norm. Although one can’t deny their insatiable desire for B*witched, Busted and the now traditional Baywatch as the night progresses, it was a pleasant 2&)*%(#$"#*"$12(#)#/&18$#$"#_N/#;"-#;)*+7# rather than expect it. A slightly more obscure selection of music intermingled with club classics, mainstream RnB and pop kept students on their toes. On top of this, the top level has a separate +)*2(# J""5# +(+12)$(+# $"# +.;/$(@# )*+#

drum & bass, giving you even more bang for your buck.

Music aside, the venue itself is somewhat shinier and more polished than other grottier, older establishments around G"$$1*%&)'=# >1$&# +)*2(# J""5/# "*# ;"$&# levels of the club, as well as spacious seating areas upstairs, this venue could be used as a bar as well as a club.

The main downfall would be that The Penthouse hasn’t quite hit the heights just yet. Because it was opening night, the venue was far less than full, probably due to the wealth of other large-scale student nights on a Thursday, combined with a disappointing lack of advertising.

Nevertheless, The Penthouse has the whole package. Undeniably fun music, cheap drinks and a swanky interior mean that Noise Box has the potential to become one of the freshest and bestloved student nights out in Nottingham.

Jerk chicken with rice and peas Chloë Painter Although spring is meant to be just round the corner, it doesn’t exactly feel like it. Try this dish to add a little warmth to your work-laden life.

You’ll need... w# w# w# w# w# w# w# w# w# w# w# w#

4 - 6 chicken breasts (make sure they skinless or they won’t );/"5;#$&(#J)0".5#)/#9(33< A large chunk of peeled ginger A tablespoon of brown sugar The juice of half a lime squeezed 3 tbsp of soy sauce 3 cloves of garlic 2 tsp of dried thyme, cinnamon, nutmeg and cayenne pepper 3 tsp of Jamaican allspice (easily found in shops on Ilkeston 5")+< 1 chopped onion 2 scotch bonnet chillies (deseed if you’re not the biggest 8)*#"8#/@12(< A slug of dark rum if you have any A splash of cider vinegar....or just cheap cider! If you don’t want to use alcohol pineapple juice is a good substitute.

Instructions Wash the chicken breast and score diagonally a couple of 2(*$1'($5(/#+((@#/"#$&)$#1$#/")D/#.@#)33#$&(#J)0".5#)*+#@3)2(# in a deep dish. Put all the ingredients except the chicken into a blender and blitz it until relatively smooth. Smother the paste over the chicken breast, cover and leave in the fridge for about 3 hours. Transfer the chicken onto a baking tray and place in )#PNNx2]%)/#')5D#l#@5(&()$(+#"0(*#8"5#ON#'1*.$(/=#4)D(#1$#".$# and drain any excess liquid from the tray so that it crisps up. Put $&(#2&12D(*#;)2D#1*#$&(#"0(*#8"5#)*"$&(5#PN#'1*.$(/=#>&13/$#$&(# chicken is cooking, crack on with the rice and peas.... w# w# w# w# w# w# w# w#

UNN%#"8#512( UNN%#"8#2)**(+#%.*%"#@()/ lNN'3#"8#0(%($);3(#/$"2D UNN'3#"8#2"2"*.$#'13D 1 onion 1 red chilli 2 cloves of garlic 1 tsp of dried thyme

For the rice it is best to use a lidded pan. Fry the chopped onion in a little oil or butter – once it starts to go clear, add the garlic and chilli. Cook for a minute or so, and add the rice (do *"$#9)/&#1$#;(8"5(&)*+<#)*+#2"*/$)*$3-#/$15#$&(#'1B$.5(=#4"#$&1/# mixture, add the coconut milk and vegetable stock. Bring to the boil, add the gungo peas, pop the lid on, turn the heat down and let the concoction simmer for 15 minutes. When the rice is cooked, stir through the thyme and serve with the jerk chicken.

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THE TEAM EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Dave Jackson

Associate Managing Editor Rachel Taylor PR and Distribution Managers: Sam Tully ^312(#:)I(D

Associate Editors Stephen Lovejoy Angus Drummond Chloe Painter

Sports Editors Lowri Wyn Morgan Joseph Lobo Tim Edwards

Associate Design Editor Matt Turner Image Editors Bruno Albutt Tara Wallace Matt Turner

Web Editor Ben Wadsworth

Associate Web Editor Ollie Small Vanessa Brown

Travel Editors Ruth Edwards Eleanor Simpson Style Editors Charlotte Gelipter Jasmin Watts Arts Editors Victoria Urquhart Michael de Vletter

Film Editors :)**)&#\"3(')* Lucy Kenderdine Music Editors Rosie Kynman Sarah Dawood

ISSUE

209 CONTRIBUTORS

SECTIONS

Advertising Manager Jack Shields News Editors Ben McCabe Emily Sargent Natasha Smith

Design Editor Andrew Speer

WEB

}

Editor Gabriella DeMatteis

DESIGN

}

Managing Editor James Sanderson

EDITORIAL

}

}

MANAGEMENT

GRATIS

Nights Editors Adam Dawes Lucinda Richardson Rachel Boyle Science and Technology Editors Eric John Philip Bowyer

:)**)&#A.@D(91$j7#W1"*)#\5"/;-7#R.$&# Edwards, Shreeya Patel, Daniel Fine, Kat Rolle, Malcolm Boyd, Adam Turner, Thomas Green, James McAndrew, Jack Gilbert, Tim MacFarlan, Beth Warin, Settit Beyene, !&).*#R((0(7#T'')#:)59""+7#R)2&(3#h"5)7# Lizzie Neep, Emma-Jane Steele, Ben James, 4"'#e5)$(57#Z'"%(*#W15$&Sf"*(/7#f"(#:)337# Dan Adams, James Smyllie, Ellis Schindler, C)53(*(#:(5')*7#R12&)5+#\"33($$7#\3).+1)# Baxter, Isabel Roth, Melanie Solomon, Margret Adeagbo, Emma Saxon, Jess Reynolds, Doñah Sabbagh, Bonnie Brown, Elouise Smith, Mim Etchells, Bex Archer

THANKS

To everyone who went the extra mile to get this troublesome issue completed!

APOLOGIES O V E R H E A R D I N H A L LWA R D COVER IMAGE GABBY DEMATTIES Alice Brigel for desecrating her picture for ‘Airbrushing’

Illustration - Andrew Speer

Fifteen minutes ‘til its dark brown and extra crunchy Don’t lower your standards like that again Nobody leaves Biology without a spider plant The really nice treacle-y pie thing She’s having a big fat gypsy birthday None of that reading nonsense We’re like a large, dysfunctional, alcoholic family Paintball to the crotch I can’t have sex with her but I’m allowed to dream about it Crying my eyes out in front of his Dad The bin is now half of the kitchen Simon Schama can fuck off Seeing as I know what I know, he wouldn’t DARE I’ll replace her with a pet Defending my Wales tea towel to the death Special £3 Ocean shoes We no longer like Bieber in my house If she dumps me I’m going to fuck every girl at Trent Like a dissertation, only much worse Push me towards the coffee machine Left to my own devices I always end up pulling a munter Not even how you use a question mark Shall we go to Costa? If you don’t like it then go and write a blog about it The seminar won’t start without us I’ve been stealing your teabags for just under a year Fall down the stairs once !"#$%&'(%)"*+#$%&'%",-./&0%12&2$ Jizzing away my life in this café Your new name is Chris De Burgh This isn’t the army so LEAVE ME ALONE Tan me up nice and good I am no longer putting up with this shanter Sharking away at the New Theatre Put the hat on the potato The night we realised we’re all as slaggy as each other Found a delicious El Passo pie crust in my bed PURE, UNFILTERED JEALOUSY Always lurking in the smoking area with a spare packet of cigs I’m not sure if anyone’s ever cleaned our shower 34$+1%5$#)%12*6/(%7*2%5$#)%-2 Like the perviest lecturer in the world Miserable face doesn’t even begin to cover it Tonight, we break out the SingStar

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ISSUE 209 | MARCH 2011

CONTACT

The best way to contact us is via email, on magazine@impactnottingham.com Failing $&)$7#-".#2)*#,*+#./#./1*%#9&12&(0(5#"8#$&(# following details takes your fancy: Impact Magazine, Portland Building, University Park, University of Nottingham, Nottingham, NG7 2RD 4(3r#NMMQ#cUlcVMl

!"#$%&'()$*+$*,$#%%-$./0$*,$12)$3%#145,6$ Building, opposite the East Concourse Lounge.

Published by The University of Nottingham Students’ Union

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Mac. The perfect GRATIS study partner.

ISSUE

209

We’ve got together with Apple to offer you a special discount of up to 15% on Mac hardware

CONTRIBUTORS

Priyal Dadhania, Fiona Crosby, Becky Wilson, Laura Curtis, Tamsin Thompson, Ollie Small, James McAndrew, Ben Turner, Malcolm Boyd, Ketan Patel, Tom Wilson, g)1/-#C)/&7#T'')#:)59""+7#!$(@&)*1(# Soh, Alex Binley, Grace Beecroft, Dina Pardijs, Aimee Creasey, Samantha Owen, Lizzie Neep, David Edgcumbe, Emma-James Steele, Emily Tarbuck, Tom Grater, Josh Franks, James McAndrew, David Bruce, Chris Jones, Ellen Newton, Gabriel Szatan, f)'(/#>-**S:1%%1*/7#e("5%(#R10(5/7#R";# Orr, Sian Thomas, Rachel Taylor, Abi Cole, :)**)&#g"*)3+7#\3).+1)#6)B$(57#f"(3#i(/D1*7# Richard Collett, Arnd Korn, Doñah Sabbagh, Tom Forman, Tom Steer, Katy Archer, Jennifer G(9;"3+7#T'')#:)59""+7#h)*(//)#65"9*

Mac is perfect for student life With the Mac you can share your ideas in new and creative ways. It comes with great software, like iLife, so you can do more with your photos, movies and music. It also runs Microsoft Office and it’s compatible with your printers and cameras. You can even run Windows.

THANKS

A dedicated online store The Apple on 4"#)33#$&)$#$5)0(33(+#$"#g('"#PNMN Campus online store, designed especially for the University of To Julia for letting style take over her house for the photoshoot.

Nottingham students, is secure and easy to use. There you’ll find a wide range of heavily discounted hardware, software and accessories. Ensure you are on the To Priyal Dadhania, author of the article GrueUniversity network, then visit www.apple.com/uk/go/save.

You can also order over some Gastronomy in our last issue, for getting &(5#*)'(#95"*%#E$912(<=#>(Y5(#5()33-#/"55-= Matt Buck for a mis-crediting picture of the on 0800 072 1154. the phone by To$5)1*#/$)$1"*#1*#PNl calling Mac hisexpert

APOLOGIES

To Lauren Guyett for removing her image at the last minute

Help is at hand If you need help or advice, there is an Apple Campus Rep on site. They have the Photographer: Matt Turner latest Apple products for you to try and can answer any questions you might have.

Illustration: Oli Margolis Art Direction: Andrew Speer For more information Will Burks on: Lighting Assistant:contact Tara Wallace

COVER IMAGE

Concept: Bruno Albutt & Dave Jackson

- aoc.nottingham@me.com.

CONTACT

The best way to contact us is via email, on magazine@impactnottingham.com Failing $&)$7#-".#2)*#,*+#./#./1*%#9&12&(0(5#"8#$&(# following details takes your fancy: Impact Magazine, Portland Building, University Park, University of Nottingham, Nottingham, NG7 2RD 4(3r#NMMQ#cUlcVMl

!"#$%&'()$*+$*,$#%%-$./0$*,$12)$3%#145,6$ Building, opposite the East Concourse Lounge.

IMPACTNOTTINGHAM.COM

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