A LIFELONG JOURNEY

A LIFELONG JOURNEY TO THE WATER OF BAPTISM

by Xin-Min Zhang and Mother Rebecca

Xin-Min Zhang first visited Transfiguration on Sunday, October 4, 2020. It was a beautiful fall day, perfect for outdoor worship.

A native of the People’s Republic of China, Xin-Min was not raised in the Church. He describes being “brainwashed by Communist party doctrine” which left him cynical about Christians and their kindness toward strangers. “We were taught,” Xin-Min recalls, “to be suspicious of charity of any kind.”

Xin-Min first encountered Christian charity as a graduate student in mathematics at the University of Massachusetts. A church near campus offered struggling students clothes, food, and other help. Certain there must be a hidden agenda, Xin-Min never accepted their help even though he could have used any help he could get.

Several years later, Xin-Min’s view of Christians began to change. In the wake of a tragic shooting by a Chinese physics student at the University of Iowa, Xin-Min read that the Christian community in Iowa City embraced Chinese students and prayed for the repose of the souls of all who had died, including the physics student. He read that several of those who were killed came from Christian families who, in the aftermath of their loss, wrote to the shooter’s family in China extending forgiveness, prayers, and compassion to them in their loss. “I couldn’t believe there were people who love even those who hurt them.” The childhood narrative of Christians as people with hidden agendas began to be replaced by a sense of wonder. “Christians,” Xin-Min wrote in his spiritual autobiography, “are a very unique group, beyond my understanding at this time.”

In July 2017, Xin-Min’s wife of 40 years died after a prolonged battle with cancer. Before her death, they travelled through Europe. Xin-Min found himself attracted to cathedrals, including St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City. In the cathedrals of Europe, he was drawn to Christian art and iconography. He began reading books about the art he was seeing, seeking to understand more about the faith and inspiration of the artists. After his wife’s passing, Xin-Min became a pilgrim, traveling to Israel during Holy Week of 2018 and twice walking El Camino de Santiago in Spain. He was searching for meaning in the next phase of his life. Along the way, he met other pilgrims and encountered many Christians, speaking openly about their spiritual journeys. Xin-Min travelled extensively in the United States as well, feeling the presence of God in such places as the Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, Glacier National Park, and Yellowstone. His experiences in these settings moved his heart and left him with a sense of his own insignificance in contrast to God’s majestic creation.

Xin-Min and Sara met online in June 2020. On All Saints Day just four years earlier, Sara had lost her husband of eight years, Jerald Sluder, to cancer. She and Xin-Min were grieving and, yet, both hoped they might find “one last love” of their lives. They corresponded daily for 40 days. (“Kind of biblical, right?”, Xin-Min asks.) They grieved together; found ways to heal one another; shared stories; and, because Sara’s faith is so important to her, she shared that faith as a source of healing in her life. Rather than preaching doctrine or pushing Xin-Min to convert, Sara spoke of how her relationship with Jesus has strengthened, challenged, and supported her throughout her life. They met in person in July that year, and found they’d fallen in deeply in love. They decided to marry, and Xin-Min moved to Dallas. At their wedding, he recited vows from the Book of Ruth in Spanish, Mandarin, and English: “Where you go, I will go; where you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”

“Your God will be my God.”

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Sara invited him to church. Knowing how important shared faith is in marriage, Xin-Min accepted. Initially, he just came on Sundays, first on the lawn and later inside. He listened to sermons, passed the Peace, and came forward to receive a blessing each week. “Doing this,” he says, “I felt the warmth of God’s presence.” He observed how members interacted with him, with Sara, and with one another. He began accompanying Sara on eucharistic visits to members who cannot attend in person. Later, he joined her when she served on Altar Guild. XinMin intincted countless hosts with a drop of wine in preparation for the Eucharist he was not yet able to receive. Only after a year of worshipping and watching, of serving and sensing God’s presence, did Xin-Min join The Way and begin to explore baptism.

In The Way, Xin-Min came to understand God had been drawing him closer and closer throughout his life. He read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis and learned about prevenient grace, God’s love for us, unearned and undeserved, which comes before our profession of faith. Xin-Min looked back at his wonder after the events in Iowa, his awe at Christian places of worship and art, and his sense of God’s presence with him on pilgrimages and in nature, and he realized all of this was God’s prevenient grace in his life.

Xin-Min was baptized this year at the Easter Vigil and was confirmed by Bishop Smith on May 15. As he reflects back on his lifelong journey to the water of baptism, he sees Jesus gently and gradually leading him to the Father, opening to him the way of abundant life.

The name Xin-Min means “new person.” At the time Xin-Min was born, the People’s Republic of China had just been formed. Many boys born in the early ‘50s share this name in celebration of the hopes of a new era in Chinese life and culture. Today, Xin-Min says, he knows the true meaning of his name. “It means new person in Christ.”