Guess who?Answer on page 40
Sorrento Bowling Club Christmas Newsletter Number 29 December 2008
Barry Bradshaw Club member and club sponsor Secureview (STAINLESS STEEL) Security Doors and Screens ALUMINIUM Security Doors and Screens Telephone 9314 1774
Contents Our President’s Report Our Treasurer’s Report Greens and Grounds Report Match Committee Report Message from the Lady Captain Ladies Match Committee Report From The Secretaries Desk Message from Men’s Selection Committee Message from Ladies Selection Committee Letters to the Editor Umpires Corner Substitutes in Championship and other Games Melbourne Cup Day at the Sorrento Bowling Club 4th November 2008 Kalgoorlie Carnival Fours Winners Congratulations to Ray and Emily Dunne Stan Mccullagh’s car 2008 Nottinghamshire County Triples Champions Ladies Fashion Parade A Little Boy’s Prayer Christmas Dinner Mareena Purslowe and Associates - Mixed Drawn Triples The Christmas Gift Thanks to the Padbury Pharmacy Community Radio Lawn Bowls in the State The Senility Prayer Getting to know our club members – Alan and Hazel Arter Cambodia Update Social Bowls Notes from your Editor Some Jokes from Members Croquet News Mother Teresa You’ll love this one. Biscuit Story A Woman and a Baby What do retired people do all day?
2 3 5 6 7 8 10 14 15 16 18 18 19 21 21 21 22 22 23 23 25 26 27 27 27 27 28 29 29 31 33 34 36 36 38 38 39
Our President’s Report
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ith the season well and truly under way it is pleasing to hear and feel a positive vibe coming from the members. Our new members appear to be settling in well and it is great to see them entering sponsored and club events as well as pennants. One of our sponsors is Healthways and along with promoting the non-smoking message they also encourage a healthy eating programme. With this in mind I approached Joan Whitham and asked Joan if salad sandwiches or rolls could be made available for the pennant players to purchase over the bar on Saturday pennant day. Joan has already made them available and they have been a reasonable success. The ever reliable pie and sausage roll are still available. With the start of the pennant season come the State and Club events. It is extremely disappointing to note that no player from Sorrento has entered the Ladies State Fours or Pairs. Also at this stage no male member has entered the State Fours. Several of us have entered the Seniors State Pairs. Entry into these events count towards the Club of the Year and we are going to try to improve on past seasons results. Entries into Club events are also not good. The Men’s fours is a prime example. One hundred and twelve players play pennants on a Saturday and yet we can only get sixty fours players if we get lucky. Before anyone jumps on the band wagon, I cannot play the second week-end and therefore will not be entering. In the previous issue I said that I would make mention of several members who have been putting in time around the Club. Perhaps I should not do this because if I miss some-one I will be called “every thing under the sun”. However here goes. Our gardeners, Ken Giles, Annie Taylor and Moira Dean have the surrounds looking a treat. Hans and his crew of Beth McCormack, Betty Stern and Mary Cressey did a good job with Friday snacks. Now the bar staff look after that. Wayne Grey has been mentioned before and is always ready to offer advice or can point us in the right direction regarding electrical matters. It came as a surprise to see him don the clobber and join us on the greens. George ‘Prof’ and Brian Joy are always ready to assist in the manufacture of items when needed and any other project around the club. Also, to all the ladies who assist in the kitchen. You do a great job and the Club is well known for it’s catering. If I have missed someone I apologize. We are looking for a Junior Bowls Co-ordinator to take on a very important task. Juniors are a must for us to have, as they will be the future of the Club and the sport.
I have been given the contact numbers of several people who might be interested in their students entering a programme. Please see me if you can help out. I do not have the time to follow this matter up. You will all agree that the greens are looking and running beautifully. We have invested heavily in making this possible and all must co-operate to maintain the standard. Some say I have no sense of humour so here goes. A guy walks into a bar orders a beer and looks around. Across the room he spies a rather stunning brunette around the sixty to sixty five age bracket and wonders what the daughter looks like. Only way to find out so he saunters across the room and strikes up a conversation. After a while she asks if he would like a threesome. Luck’s in – must have a daughter. Off they go to her place and everything is rising. As she makes him comfortable she calls upstairs “MOTHER”. With Christmas and New Year around a very close corner I take this opportunity to wish all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year. Until the next edition. – Ian Marshall
Our Treasurer’s Report
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his report covers the Club’s finances for the period 1st May 2008 to 31st October 2008 and compares our financial performance to the same period in 2007.
Members will notice from the summary Income and Expenditure for May to October 2008 (on page 4) that bar sales are up by almost $28,000 and bar profits are up by over $15,000. Subscriptions are over $19,000 higher, bearing in mind that a number of members have prepaid 3 and 5 year memberships.
Kerry Bradshaw Ph C, M.P.S. Telephone 08 9447 1419 Shop 10 North Beach Road North Beach WA 6020
Kitchen and social is considerably higher, as a consequence of the Revue Group dinner dances and higher activity. Profits are offset because of payments to the band and some outside catering. Match income is showing strong growth with income up by almost $11,000, again offset to a degree by more prize
May - Oct 2008
May - Oct 2007
$ Change
143,821.24
116,191.04
27,630.20
143,821.24
116,191.04
27,630.20
59,259.10
47,934.40
11,324.70
59,259.10
47,934.40
11,324.70
84,562.14
68,256.64
16,305.50
34,928.88
34,050.03
878.85
34,928.88
34,050.03
878.85
49,633.26
34,206.61
15,426.65
86,912.26
67,495.96
19,416.30
Ordinary Income/Expense Income 4000 · BAR SALES Total Income Cost of Goods Sold 5000 · COST OF GOODS SOLD Total COGS Gross Profit Expense 6000 · BAR EXPENSES Total Expense Net Ordinary Income Other Income/Expense Other Income 7000 · SUBSCRIPTIONS 7010 · CROQUET INCOME 7035 · KITCHEN AND SOCIAL (8035)
4,334.55
2,328.20
2,006.35
13,512.87
1,285.42
12,227.45
7037 · MATCH INCOME
35,098.38
24,144.54
10,953.84
7050 · OTHER INCOME
19,111.63
19,983.04
-871.41
7161 · SPONSORSHIPS
2,775.65
4,607.76
-1,832.11
7220 · DARTS
3,438.89
4,935.26
-1,496.37
Total Other Income
165,184.23
124,780.18
40,404.05
77,163.76
70,568.86
6,594.90
0.00
2,448.72
-2,448.72
9,465.20
4,087.98
5,377.22
10,051.74
7,425.09
2,626.65
10.00
57.23
-47.23
7,873.52
4,546.38
3,327.14
48,653.55
48,488.46
165.09
100.45
70.38
30.07
1,599.36
3,832.34
-2,232.98
154,917.58
141,525.44
13,392.14
10,266.65
-16,745.26
27,011.91
59,899.91
17,461.35
42,438.56
Other Expense 8000 · GREENS EXPENSES 8016 · SUBSCRIPTION EXPENSES 8035 · KITCHEN AND SOCIAL (7035) 8038 · MATCH COMMITTEE 8139 · CROQUET EXPENSES 8146 · OTHER EXPENSES 8150 · GENERAL EXPENSES 8162 · SPONSORSHIP EXPENSES 8220 · DARTS EXPENSES Total Other Expense Net Other Income Net Income
money and other costs. On the expenditure side, our increased investment in greens has resulted in spending of an addition $7,000. As at 31st October 2008, the Club had $57,000 in the bank, bearing in mind that capitation fees of $14,500 are due in November and $10,000 has been approved by Executive to purchase new bar stools and tables. Overall, financially the Club continues to perform well. – Brian Lucas
Greens and Grounds Report
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he Greens Committee are pleased to convey our thanks to the many Club members who have conveyed their appreciation for the wonderful bowling conditions that have been presented to them thus far into the pennant season. We are very pleased to be able to convey your thanks on to the greenkeeper and his staff for a great job well done. Some points to note: • The Club Executive has decided to disallow all Monday roll-ups. Only WABA scheduled and special club events are to be exempted from this ruling. Poisons are often applied to the greens on Mondays and the Club has a duty of care to all bowlers. • Stray bottle tops can cause severe damage to our greens machinery. Please either dispose of them properly or drink out of cans! • Do not relocate scoreboards! You do not know the location of irrigation pipes. To move the scoreboard closer to the green is not a good way to find out! Please limit your actions to moving the boards sideways - not backwards or forwards. • Please roll up on the pegs! This helps even out the wear. • A few inconsiderate members drop their bowls onto the greens. Before you begin, place each bowl gently upon the bank. If I find any member continuing to drop their bowls on to greens whilst standing upon the bank, I will confiscate the offending bowl for three months, and remove all home-ground stickers from the offending bowlers bowls forcing him/her to play all pennant games in away teams! The trees at the South end of the Club are either gone or going. ‘C’ and ‘D’ greens will no longer suffer from tree root invasions or leaf drop contamination. The Club
is raising the finance to replace all the shelters at the south end with steel frames and shade-cloth to match the existing shelters. Shade cloth at the north end of ‘E’ green will be in place shortly. It has not been installed thus far into the season in order to encourage grass growth on the northern bank which suffers from invasive roots of nearby shrubs. The executive committee is currently reviewing the entry closing dates for all Club events. Currently to close entries on Fridays at 6.00 pm for Sunday starts causes our green-keeper problems. His start-of-week greens rotational planning is disrupted by the changes caused by inaccurate estimates being supplied for green requirements. We are expecting to gain agreement from the executive to agree to all events being closed at least four clear days before the start of each event so as to give the green-keeper adequate notice for him to balance out greens usage. Proper rink rotation will then be in place to ensure the longevity of our wonderful playing surfaces. This rotation cannot be achieved without the co-operation of the members of both the men’s and women’s match committees. On behalf of the Greens Committee – Jem Shorland (Note: no ‘t’ anywhere Dick and Tiger!)
Match Committee Report
A
field of 14 novice men entered the club Novice Singles Championship. After sectional play and an alignment round the field was whittled down to four semi finalists. Don Rae met Kevin Coffey in the first, with Kevin prevailing in a 31-end marathon, while in the other semi final Peter Snow had an only slightly easier task in his win over Neville Cleary. In the final, Peter quickly opened up a lead, and led 9-2 after 5 ends. But Kevin Coffey used his final bowl to dramatic effect to claw back Peter’s lead and hit the
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Joe ‘n’ co
At Shop 20, Duncraig Shopping Centre Marri Road 9447 0933
front after 13 ends. But Peter steadied and drew away to record a comfortable win. Thanks to all who participated, and congratulations Peter. Peter will now represent the club in the Champion of Champion Novice tournament which will held in early May 2009. The club mixed pairs championship concluded on Sunday 16th November. The championship winners were Ron and Rhonda Prosser. They defeated John and Phillipa Collishaw in the final. Both pairs had adventurous paths to the final, with the Collishaws eventually triumphing over John and Mary Sanders in an epic semi-final that went to an extra end. The Prossers had to play both their semi-final (where they beat Bill and Doreen Crier) and final on the same day. With the 2-2-2-2 format, and a total of 40 ends to play, the Prossers showed great endurance. The plate event was won by John Godfrey and Pat Frawley, who defeated Glenn Boston and Beth McCormack in a tight match. The good news for future pairs events is that we will be switching to 3-bowls pairs for future pairs events. Tuesday evenings have seen the resumption of the Bill and Brenda Broun Twilight Pairs competition. The first week saw 56 bowlers take part, with Kevin Coffey and Sharon Eggers victorious. This is a great number of bowlers and it looks as though we will better last year’s average of 40 bowlers each week. Bill and Brenda Broun have for many years sponsored an end-of-season prize. The event is conducted each Tuesday until April. Players receive 2 points for playing, an additional 1 point for winning and a bonus point if they win by more than 10 shots. Any combination of bowlers is permitted and games start at 4:30 pm sharp. Get your names on the board by 4:00 to play. – Trevor Orton
Message from the Lady Captain
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e had an informative ladies meeting on 3rd September, the next meeting will be held early in December to finalise details for our Gala Day to be held on Friday, 9th January 2009.
In September two teams went to Kalgoorlie to take part in a four-day Bowling Carnival. In the Welcome Fours the Sorrento ladies did very well. Nellie, Clair, Emily and Marie came first and Moira, Judy, Merwyn and Pat came third. In the Carnival Fours the winners were once again Nellie, Clair, Emily and Marie. It is the first time the same team has won both events. Congratulations to all! On November 1st and 2nd two teams of Sorrento Ladies travelled to Gin Gin to play in the Dawn Robinson Memorial Fours. Entries are restricted to 14 country and 14 metro teams and all the games are of very high quality. Pat Breakell’s team consisting of Nellie Heard, Fran Bracknell and Emily Dunn were runners-up and Myrtle Raven’s team won the Sunday afternoon round. There were several Bingo wins and May Leyland scored well in the Raffles. All in all it was a very happy and fruitful weekend ably helped along by hundreds of very, very friendly flies!!! Our Fashion Parade was a great success. Ticket sales were excellent, models and fashions stylish and, as usual, morning tea and lunch were enjoyed by all. As one of our members would say ‘It was a really really good day’. The first of the Club Championships, the Mixed Fours, was played in October. Unfortunately the first day had to be cancelled due to inclement weather. It was good to see our new bowlers taking part and enjoying the experience of competition. The winners were John Collishaw, Clair Hanlon, Tiger Hogan and Phillipa Collishaw who had some stiff opposition and close fought games, along with great camaraderie. To all lady bowlers enjoy the bowls whether it be Pennants, Bankers or Social and don’t forget to attend the ladies quarterly meeting to be held on Wednesday, 10th December, at 9.30 am. – Clair Hanlon
Ladies Match Committee Report
I
n the Ladies 100 up Championship Singles final Lorraine and Carmel Hyde had a tussle with Carmel managing to take the title. The plate event was won by Denise Odell and Nellie Heard was runner-up. Sixty four people entered and everybody enjoyed the Divorced Pairs. The overall winners were Judy Campbell and Keith Cooper. The morning winners were Neil 10
McLaughlan and Beth McCormack and the afternoon winners were Roy Bracknell and Lorraine Hyde. The Grand Cinemas Fours were won by John and Phillipa Collishaw and Alan and Hazel Arter. The runners-up were Frank and Ann Lilley and Warren Elliott and Beryl Tutt. The morning winners were Keith Cooper, Judy Campbell, Lindsay Baker and Jan Cook. The afternoon winners were Neil and Eileen McRae and Neville and Denise Odell. Sadly we had to cancel our Ladies Masters Triples due to lack of entries from other clubs. Our Club Championship events are now under way and it is great to see so many new bowlers competing. Well done! In the Ladies Pairs Moira Dean and Vonnie King beat Beth McCormack and Betty Stern in the final. The Plate was won by Kath Harris and Kath Joy who beat Nellie Heard and Denise Odell
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We had four days of State Ladies Events and without my hard working committee this would not be possible. Also many thanks to Fran, Helen, Nellie, Phillipa and Alice for umpiring. From myself and match a Happy Christmas and healthy New Year and good bowling to you all and thanks for your support. – Marie Smart
From The Secretaries Desk
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am pleased to advise that the club has continued to progress on a number of fronts. Our membership continues to grow, and the participation rate of players is increasing all the time, which has the added effect of growing our revenue base. On the membership front, and because we were unable to guarantee Friday night bookings, following the increased interest being shown in community bowls, the Australia Indian Businessmen’s Association have decided to transfer their meetings to another venue. Whilst we appreciate that they have contributed to the fabric of the club over a period of some years, our main focus needs to be on the continued growth of bowls, both for our members, and the good of the sport. Our constitution has the promotion of the game of bowls and other sports as it main mission. We continue to gain numbers of bowlers. And whilst a lot of these are newcomers to the game, a lot have chosen to take part in our social activities, including bowls, as well as some coming through into the pennants scene. We are also able to report that we will have two nights of corporate or community bowls, and some of the new members have been encouraged to take part and hopefully then go through to our normal bowls programme. A list of new members appears elsewhere in the newsletter, and we welcome them to the club. The Executive have, after some lengthy discussions, been required to close all of the greens to roll-ups on Mondays, to allow our green keeper to water, maintain
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and renovate our greens to the level that we need to sustain our very heavy bowls programme over the summer months. One of the main considerations in this decision is that spraying is conducted on some of these days, and we have a duty of care to ensure that none of our members are affected by the residue of the spray. Similarly, the green keeper cannot complete these programmes on days that play is scheduled, as spray drift, from either the water or the chemical sprays, can and do occur. The only exception to this decision is if we are to hold state events, or masters events, which necessitate play on a Monday. The green keeper will then arrange his programme around this event, and watering will be staggered, and spraying held back until a suitable day. The Executive have also directed that on sponsored days, we expect players to wear their club uniform. This is to ensure that we present sponsors with the best possible scenario, with their view of the club in the most favourable light. This message has been passed on to the two Captains, as well as the Chairpersons of Match, whom we expect will carry through with our requirements. A number of the members would be aware that we are to host the Police Bowls Association Australian Carnival at the club from the 17th until the 24th April 2009. As such we are handing over the club to this association, for that period. This is not to say that there will not be any bowls as their programme allows for social bowls to be conducted alongside, and as part of the overall carnival. Chris Tibbits has undertaken to assist with the running of these events, and will include some partners and associates of the police bowlers that are not participating on that day. 14
Gary Scheckter “For Total Eyecare” Duncraig Belridge Brighton Currambine Ellenbrook
08 9246 1112 08 9307 5200 08 9562 1242 08 9304 0506 08 9296 9691
The organisers are also seeking markers for the first day of their singles competition, and if you are prepared to assist, please pass your name on to the Secretary, and he will pass on to the organisers. We have been looking at providing members with ability to purchase a “Club Jacket”. We had previously arranged for this many years ago, and found that ordering specific stock, and waiting on members to purchase, meant that we held them in stock for some time, and it was money that the club could have used in other aspects of running the club. Our thought is that this time, we will arrange for members to advise what size they require, pay for the jacket, and we will then order in bulk. A recent display of jackets within the club gave us an indication of what would suit the majority of members, and it would appear that the “polar fleece” jacket, without sleeves was considered the most suitable. This jacket could have the clubs logo included, however at some cost. To keep cost to a minimum and to ensure that we have a quick turnaround from order to receipt, we have decided not to have this embossed on the jacket. The jacket must however, have the Bowls Australia logo embossed, as this is a requirement passed through from Bowls Australia. The cost of these jackets is currently $55 if purchased from Bowls World direct however we have negotiated a price of $49.50 if purchased through the club, on a bulk order basis. For the ladies, there is a jacket that can be purchased from Pells, however this is a slightly different colour, being a lighter shade of blue, and we have not negotiated any discounts for this item. I am also unaware of the cost of this jacket. 15
We welcome new members Margaret Allen, Jean Cox, Harry Dobelstein, Roy and Frances Game, Joe and Pam Gleisinger, Isabella Gray, Hillary Haffert, Maurice O’Connell, Kevin Price, Jeffrey Reilley, Rob Ryle, Denise and William Sharkie, Albert and Rosalind Spencer and Robert Williams, With Christmas fast approaching, as well as the start of pennants and community bowls, the New Years Eve function which has proved to be a major success, and has been sold out, we have a very busy time ahead. I wish all members a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy and Successful New Year. – Ian Wittber
Message from Men’s Selection Committee
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e’re now well into the Pennant season with rather mixed results. This year we have seven teams (112 men) on a Saturday and eight teams (84 men) on a Thursday. Results so far have been a bit disappointing. After the first three weeks Division 5 Red are doing well on a Saturday and are in second position. On a Thursday Division 2 Blue are top of their Division. Well done! Thanks to Niel Adams for continuing to produce our multi coloured results sheet. It is always very popular and generates lots of interest. I would like to ask Skips to watch their body language as it can sometimes be a bit off-putting and demotivational. It would also be good if teams who have completed their game stay to watch the remaining teams especially when the aggregate is close.. It is still the intention that those bowlers who miss out on selection play at the same time as the pennant teams. I would like to ask new bowlers to come along on a Thursday and Saturday so that they can get some competition practice. As the season goes on we will need 16
reserves as the “sick, lame and lazy” as well as the dummy spitters drop out. So please come along for a game. – Alan Arter
Message from Ladies Selection Committee
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his season the ladies are fielding 6 divisions in the Tuesday pennant competition and one in the Saturday competition.
On Tuesday the field is: Premier division, division 1 Green, division 2 Green, division 2 Blue, division 4 Red and division 4 Blue. On Saturday our division is 2 Lime. Pennant players are gradually melding as teams, working to support each other and to achieve successful outcomes. We have several new players who are playing pennants on Tuesday for the first time. Welcome to Lee Leach, Pauline Bourne, Jenny Bartlett and Ros Pittaway. Also new players Jan Cook and Val Thornett have volunteered to play as reserves and have already had several opportunities to do so. Bev Carrigy continues to be a reliable and versatile reserve. Sharon Eggers is new to Saturday pennants and we welcome the return of Christine Eley. We welcome back players who, for various reasons, have been unable to play for the past year or two: Joy Hennessy, Fay Jennings, Mary Heron and Phillipa Collishaw. Other new club members have chosen to begin bowls by playing on Tuesdays in our “Bankers” group. These are our possible future pennant players and their keenness is demonstrated by the turnout of as many as twelve players on one Tuesday. Thank you, Sue Dowson, for your dedicated commitment to organising and helping these new players. 17
We have had a promising start to the season and we will be working hard to maintain the momentum. – Mary Sanders.
Dear Mr. Editor,
Letters to the Editor
Previously charity events such as Cancer Day, Silver Chain Day and Heart Foundation Day were exempt from green fees which resulted in all the money collected on that day going to the charity nominated for that day. Many people work very hard on these days to raise money mainly in the way of raffles etc and donations from many businesses in the area. Some time ago I was told by two different members of the Executive Committee that one third of green fees collected would be donated to charity and the other two thirds would go to club funds. It appears that the Executive realised how much money was being raised for these charities so the club wanted its share. Many members are upset by the decision of the Executive. After all these charity events are not meant to raise money for any other purpose. The full amount of green fees collected would total approximately $1200 for a full twelve months or an average of $400 per event. – Stan Mccullagh Note from your editor: The following is our current Charity Events Donation Policy “From time to time approaches are made to the Sorrento Bowling Club to donate to a variety of charities. While acknowledging the wonderful work that these charities undertake and their contribution to society, the Club has scarce resources and the Executive of the Club is obligated to manage the funds of the Club for the betterment of all of its members. This policy sets out the policy for making donations to charitable organisations. The Club will sanction three charities each year by holding a bowls day. These charities are: 1. Silver Chain 2. Cancer Council 3. Heart Foundation. 18
Competition Cal and May have kindly agreed to offer a prize of one bottle of wine for the best caption for this cartoon
Entries to be written on a piece of paper with your name and contact number and handed to Cal or May
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A day of bowls will be held for each charity. All monies raised for this event by way of raffles etc and one-third of the green fees will be donated to the charity”. – Ian Wittber
Umpires Corner
S
orrento now has 23 male umpires, five lady umpires and five lady measurers. Our Captain Tiger Hogan did a grand job of recruiting nine members to take the exams. Several existing umpires took the re-accreditation examination to continue in the service for another four years. The spread of male umpires now covers nearly all the men’s divisions. The men should no longer have the situation where only one umpire is available for a home pennant fixture as occurred on several occasions last season despite the Club having 14 umpires that season. The ranks should be further enlarged next year with several members expressing an interest to take the examinations. The ladies gained two new umpires and lost one, but there is still an insufficient spread of lady umpires to cover all divisions of home pennant fixtures. The Ladies called on Jim Ironside to officiate for the first pennant fixture and the need to call on a male umpire is likely to occur again. The Ladies welcome Alice O’Brien and Jane Holland to the umpires ranks and the men welcome Richard Bone, Tony Friedlieb, Geoff Glew, Jim Ironside, Graeme O’Brien, Ron Taylor, Chris Tibbits, Alan Turner and Jim Welch. – Malcolm Sargant
Substitutes in Championship and other Games The Australian domestic regulation for replacements and substitutes ( Regulation 4 of the Law Book ) is not fully understood by many players including some members of match committees running championships, and as was discovered during the recent umpires examinations, by some umpires. The essential differences between replacement and substitute players are stated below but a study of the regulation is required to get a full appreciation of its scope and limitations. As the regulation has 26 sub clauses this misunderstanding is not surprising. Should an occasion arise for a replacement or substitute player it would always be advisable to refer to the Law Book to ensure that the replacement or substitute player is eligible to play. 20
Melbourne Cup Day at the Sorrento Bowling Club 4th November 2008 21
Troy Pickard the Mayor of Joondalup welcomes members
Liz and Ian Marshall and our patron Mal Washer and his wife
Our President Ian Marshall
Brenda and Bill Broun Frank Lilley represented Bowls WA Our President, Ian Marshall plays the first bowl
Ian Wittber, Des Bennett and Brian Lucas The traditional Spider! Where is your bowl?
“The Start of the New Season� Joan Rowley hits the first croquet ball
Opening Day 14 September 2008 Left: Graeme Heard, Bill Leyland, Nellie Heard and May Leyland Right: John Forkin and Marty Angelo
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Brenda Richardson, Betty Stern, Beth McCormack and Squizzy Taylor
Congratulations to Ray and Emily Dunn Well done to Ray and Emily Dunn who have now been married for sixty years. Their anniversary is on 27th November 2008. Congratulation to you both
Guess who is the Father Christmas below? Answer on page 40
Stan Mccullagh’s car Did you see what happened to Stan’s car when he got side-swiped by a road train? Stan - you are a very lucky man. With the help of DVG, one of our important sponsors, he has found a good replacement.
Kalgoorlie Carnival Fours Winners
Marie Smart, Emily Dunn, Clair Hanlon and Nelly Heard. Details in Clair Hanlon’s report.
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Carlton Mid Strength One of the fine Carlton available at our club
2008 Nottinghamshire County Triples Champions Brian Townsend and his two mates played over the season in a straight knock-out and won the final in August 2008. They then represented the County in the National Championships losing in the semi-final by one shot. Well done Brian! It ‘s great to have you back!
Ladies Fashion Parade (See Clair Hanlon’s Report for details)
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• A replacement player is one who is appointed to take the position of an intended player who is unable to play in, or continue playing in, a competition for a reason accepted by the controlling body, and unable to return before the completion of the competition. In other words the replacement becomes a permanent constituted player in that team once his/her first bowl is delivered. A replacement player can play in any position, including skip and has the same rights as the original team member. • A substitute is a member who acts as a proxy ( temporary replacement ) for a player who is incapable of playing or continuing in that game but is expected to be available to return to play before the completion of the competition. A substitute can play in any position other than skip. (4.1.14) When the original member returns to the team during a game all the players are to revert to their original playing positions. (4.1.19) A member who acts as a substitute may, if still eligible, continue to act as a substitute in that or any other team in the same competition. • The controlling body may define the circumstances which it will not accept as valid reason for a player’s unavailability. The controlling body may impose special conditions on the composition of teams and the qualification of team members. Such information shall be stated in the conditions of play which shall be published at the same time entries are requested ( 4.1.25 ) Sorrento does not have a policy on the eligibility of members to nominate for championships nor are any conditions ever published with the notice requesting nominations. Some Clubs impose a condition that if a member knows, prior to the close of nominations, that he/she will not be available to play on any of the published dates of the competition, that member will not be eligible to nominate, and a replacement or substitute will not be approved and the team shall be forfeited. – Malcolm Sargant
A Little Boy’s Prayer Dear God, Take care of my family Take care of the whole world And please, God, take care of yourself, Or we’re all sunk.
– Emily Dunn
Christmas Dinner
I
f you are looking for something special for Christmas Lunch why not try Stuffed Camel A la, Central Australia 25
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Recipe
1 medium camel 4 lambs 20 chickens (roasted) 150 eggs 40 kilo tomatoes Salt and seasoning
Method Stuff eggs into tomatoes Stuff tomatoes into chickens Stuff chickens into lambs Stuff lambs into camel Roast until tender Serves 150 people
Mareena Purslowe and Associates - Mixed Drawn Triples Friday 31st October 2008 dawned bright and sunny and for 66 bowlers it was a great greeting for what turned out to be an exciting, fun and interesting day. The day comprised 3 games of 15 ends and the concept was 2 bowl triples. Fifteen ends was just about the right length of time to be out bowling and then into the clubhouse for a refreshing cuppa or drink from the bar and some of Joan’s scrumptious snacks. Time to socialise and meet some of the new club members. It was a day played in great spirit and the opportunity for some of our new and social bowlers to experience a different form of competition. I also believe they learnt more of the art of bowling from their experienced skippers. It was generally felt the teams were a good mix of new and not so new bowlers. We were grateful to Mareena Purslowe and Associates for their sponsorship on the day and they have offered to support the event again next year. Sponsorship included a cash amount for prize money plus handouts in the form of an information booklet 27
“All you need to know about funerals” and lip balm which will come in handy during the long hours in the sun during games of bowls. From the feedback it was a popular day and seeing we already have an offer to sponsor the day it will most likely be held again next year. Results for the day were as follows; Winners round 1 Charlie Maiolo Mary Sanders Jan Cook Winners round 2 Richard Fermoyle Helen Ironside Lorna Beamish Winners round 3 Cal O’Donnell Mary Heron Gillian Hopkins Runners Up for the Day Tricia Smith Herbie Eisenmann Mike Thornett Winners of the Day Clair Hanlon Jim Ironside Jenny Bartlett As organiser for the day I would like to express my thanks to those who assisted me in the preparation and running of the event. Your support was most appreciated and like any event there are always the unsung heroes behind the scenes who are the back bone of the day. Thank you all very much. – Chris Tibbits
The Christmas Gift
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young man wished to buy a Christmas gift for his new girlfriend. As they had not been dating very long, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note. Romantic but not too personal Accompanied by the girlfriend’s sister, he bought the gloves and the sister bought a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping the items got mixed up - the sister got the gloves and the boyfriend got the panties. He then mailed the parcel to his girlfriend with this note: Darling, I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If I had not been with your sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she says short ones are easier to remove! These are a delicate shade but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she has been 28
wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try on these and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time as, no doubt, other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you. When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will be a bit damp after wearing them. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming weeks. All my love. P. S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing. – John Forkin
Thanks to the Padbury Pharmacy
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teve from the Padbury Pharmacy has kindly sponsored the Ladies Pennant Pots again. Many thanks Steve. – May Leyland
Community Radio
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embers should be aware that Capital Community Radio 90.5 FM and 91.3 FM will be broadcasting Lawn Bowls information in their programmes 8 am to 9 am Saturday mornings. 91.3 FM will be concentrating on bowling information exclusively and 90.5 FM will be a sporting programme with bowls information included. – Dick Currie
Lawn Bowls in the State
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ow that the Pennant season for Lawn Bowls has started it is interesting to see the approximate participation figures of Bowlers for the coming season as advised by Bowls WA. Ladies Tuesday pennants Ladies Saturday Men’s Midweek pennants Men’s Saturday pennants
2000 390 3200 3800
The popularity of Lawn Bowls in the State is still quite strong. – Dick Currie 29
The Senility Prayer God grant me the senility To forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, And the eyesight to tell the difference. – Moira Dean
Getting to know our club members – Alan and Hazel Arter
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lan and Hazel immigrated to Perth in 2003 to join two of their sons who were living in Australia. Unfortunately they had to leave two others in the UK - a no win situation but have never regretted their move. Alan has always been sports mad playing golf from a young age and still enjoys a weekly game with his son. He became a soccer referee in 1967 just after Hazel had given birth to twin boys. (He’d do anything to escape changing nappies). He refereed for many years also training new recruits at the local college being one of West Sussex’s main coaches. Hazel meanwhile bred, showed and did competitive obedience with her German shepherd and Lassie collie dogs. Alan also became involved and over the years was a trainer and chairman of the local dog training club, but by now had discovered lawn bowls and again his competitive nature took over. Alan has always had a passion for motorcycles and belonged to a vintage motor cycle club. He owned a Yamaha for several years followed by a BMW. He went on many a rally with his club and hated selling his bike when he retired. In England he bowled for 30 years winning various championships, he served on many a committee always being an active member of his club. On arriving in Perth his first priority was to join Sorrento Bowls Club. Since then he has been on the Match committee for two years and is now Chairman of the Selection Committee. He often helps behind the bar. Hazel fed up with being a bowls widow also decided to take up this wonderful game 30
and says it’s the best thing she ever did as she has met so many nice friendly people. When one emigrates you leave behind all of your friends, but the Arters don’t have time to be homesick as they are active Sorrento members. The Arters love caravanning and they travelled the length and breadth of Europe for two years before coming to Oz. They are now content to winter in Carnarvon in their Jaco van enjoying the winter sun bowling & fishing with their friends and at the end of the day enjoying a vino or two at sundowner time They celebrate their Golden Wedding next year. To think it all started with a kiss!! Who would have thought 50 years ago they would have ended up with four sons eleven grand kids and four great grand kids and Australian Citizens. We are indeed very lucky to have Alan and Hazel as members of our club. – Neville Odell
Cambodia Update
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s you all know my heart is still in Cambodia. I will never ever forget my time spent there, especially my lovely homestay family who cared and looked after me (what a hard task for anyone eh!). I love and miss the children and helpers at the Orphanage so much. But I will return and hopefully carry on the work but, in the meantime, if anyone has any educational items they no longer need i.e. flashcards such as Go Fish, Snap, etc. the kids love them and they play with them for hours. I would be grateful to have them. I would also like to thank new club member Tony Jones for his kind cash donation. This will be used to send Christmas gifts to Cambodia Thanks a million.
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– Marie Smart.
Social Bowls
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t is most satisfying for the club that Friday afternoon social bowls continues to flourish. Since our last report there has been an average of 57 players per week with a good mix of new and experienced bowlers attending. God has been good to us and we only lost one Friday to rain but as Perth needs rain as much as it needs bowlers we can’t complain. A total of 46 different players have shared in the prize money since 5th September. The most successful players over that time have been Herbie Eisenmann closely followed by Charlie Maiolo, Ros Pittaway and Kevin Scammell. (See below for detailed results) The Cancer Council fund raising day held on 19th September was very successful and raised $343 for a very worthy cause. As we reported in the last newsletter, our Mandurah Challenge was cancelled by the Mandurah club. A mixed drawn triples competition was held in its place, a report on that day appears elsewhere in this issue. Forthcoming events: Joe Stow Memorial Day is on Friday 12th December. This day is in aid of the Heart Foundation of WA and funds raised go to that charity. Donations for a raffle can be placed in the basket at the club and all donations will be thankfully received. The more donations, the more prizes. Our Christmas Social day is on Friday 19th December and will be the same format as usual. Players are invited to bring a plate of food to share which we will enjoy after the game. You are challenged to wear something Christmassy and there may even be a prize for the best or funniest dressed???? If you are looking for a good afternoon out with little or no stress and a fun game of bowls we would love to see you on Friday afternoon. Thanks to all our sponsors and players and we hope you all enjoy the coming festive season. Weekly winners were as follows: 4/9/08 5/9/08 6/9/08 7/9/08 10/9/08 11/9/08 12/9/08 13/9/08 18/9/08 32
Men’s Triples Mixed Social Men’s Social Mixed Social Mixed Pairs Men’s Triples Mixed Social Men’s Triples Men’s Social
Marty Angelo Marty Angelo Brian Joy Monique Kopec Alan Arter John Green Marty Angelo Keith Tompkins Neville Odell
Barry Mullumby Alice O’Brien Ron Parker Kevin Coffey Hazel Arter George Kerr Denise Odell Ron Burroughs Richard Fermoyle
Mike Thornett T. Coleman George Griffiths Herbie Eisenmann Darryl Rowland Mike Thornett Trevor Orton Norman Claffey
John Lavers
19/9/08 20/9/08 26/9/08 27/9/08 3/10/08 10/10/08 17/10/08 19/10/08 26/10/08 7/11/08 9/11/08 11/11/08 14/11/08 16/11/08 18/11/08
Cancer Day Men’s Triples Mixed Social Men’s Pairs Mixed Social Mixed Social Mixed Social Mixed Social Mixed Social Mixed Social Mixed Social Twilight Bowls Mixed Social Richard Young Twilight
Charlie Maiolo Ron Beazley Marty Angelo John Sanders Barry Mullumby Chris Tibbits Sandy Hogg Beth McCormack Clair Hanlon Sandy Hogg Nellie Heard Sharon Eggers Cal O’ Donnell Sharon Eggers Annie Taylor
Ron Burroughs Paul Graham Gavin Stromel John Collishaw Jack Jones Herbie Eisenmann Herbie Eisenmann Joan Napier Richard Young Barry Bradshaw Herbie Eisenmann Kevin Coffey Norman Claffey Rose Spenser John Warner
Kevin Cook Phil Oldershaw Mike Thornett Val Thornett Kevin Scammell Neil McLennan J. O’Niell Ken Leach Betty Stern Rose Slater
Glen Larcombe Peter Blake
Neil McLaughan
– Chris Tibbits
Notes from your Editor Did you hear that bowls can help you lose weight? A new study has revealed that playing bowls isn’t only just a good way to stay fit and active - it’s also a good way to lose weight. The report conducted by an online dietary consultancy, revealed that a player of average build will burn around 200 calories for every hour they play bowls. To put that a little more into context, that’s the rough equivalent of you burning off one pint of beer every hour spent on the green. ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that the Lions Club of Duncraig raised $3500 for a wheelchair for a tetraplegic who has also recently been diagnosed with cancer. Marie Smart got thirty of our members to attend a fun evening of song and dance to support this worthy cause?
The Cheesecake Shop Warwick
Proud sponsors of the Sorrento Bowling Club Jack Dodia 9246 2397 Warwick Grove Shoppping Centre, Beach Rd, Warwick 6024 33
Did you hear that Ewe Tennant recently attended a double birthday. It was his great grand daughter’s first birth and his mother-in-law’s 98th on 19 October 2008? ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that Ron Parker’s son has recently completed a run across the Namibian desert? ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that Denise Odell got four touchers on one end in the club mixed pairs? One of the touchers put the jack into the ditch! ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you know that our major sponsor DVG is planning to hold their next annual inter-club competition at our club. This will be in October 2009. The Match Committee need to lock in a date with Geoff Newton. The six clubs that participate are Beaumaris, Morley, Midland Morrison, Armadale and Manning. The DVG brothers sponsor bowls to the tune of $30000. ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that Cal O’Donnell was seen with a cup of coffee in his hand! This is apparently the first time it has happened? ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you know that Brian Townsend has a photographic memory.? He can remember detail of all the 32 sets of bowls that he has bought over the last twelve years. Just ask him and he will tell you about them !! ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that Monique Kopec got through three different male partners in the Club Pairs. They kept falling like flies by the wayside
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BALCATTA LAWN MOWER AND CHAINSAW REPAIRS, SALES AND SERVICE Contact our sponsors Paul and Judy Kangas Unit 2, 3 Cressall Rd Balacatta ,WA 6021 Tel 9344 7511 Mobile 0419 792 290 Do you like Beth McCormack’s tassels? They a big improvement on the corner flags that we had previously. Well done Beth. – Neville Odell
Some Jokes from Members The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, ‘Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.’ Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ‘ I want to hang out with God.’ St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, ‘Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? ‘ Arthur said, ‘Yeah, that’s me...’ God commented, ‘Well, what’s the big deal in inventing something that’s pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can’t run without a road?’ Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, ‘Excuse me, but aren’t you the inventor of woman?’ God said, ‘Ah, yes.’ ‘Well,’ said Arthur, ‘professional to professional, you have some major design flaws 35
in your invention! ‘ 1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!! ‘Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,’ replied God, ‘Hold on.’ God went to his celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. ‘Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,’ God said to Arthur, ‘but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours. ‘
Croquet News
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arly in September Robert Close and Dorothy Bavin collected their Golf Doubles Award from WACA at Forrest Park. This will eventually live in our trophy cabinet until it is returned to WACA next year. The birthday lunch for Dorothy Bavin at Kingsley Tavern on 12 September was very well attended. Joan Rowley did a great organising job. Pam Green organised a raffle which Dorothy won and Mary Gardner won second prize. It was all good fun and the food was much enjoyed. The lunch outings have been going on now for five years. Dorothy’s 70 years was the first. The Bowling Club opening day for this year went well. There were only 3 croquet members present. Joan Rowley did the honours of hitting our Croquet ball to start the season. 36
WACA held it’s AGM on Saturday, 20 September, at Forrest Park. Dorothy Bavin attended this meeting as proxy due to Geoff Bloomfield’s late return from Sydney. Geoff is still recovering from a run of bad health. Bev Cox’s husband Bill died. Kath Heier, Joan Rowley, Betty Gobby, Jean Linders, Liz Wood and Dorothy Bavin attended the funeral service which was held at Pinnaroo on Tuesday, 30 September. I’m pleased to say Bev is now back with us playing Croquet. His Worship the Mayor of the City of Joondalup came for morning tea on Platinum Day, 15 October. The Bowling Club lent Croquet one of their greens so that we would cater for 32 interested people from Craigy Leisure Centre. We provided an excellent morning tea (we have some great cooks). Four people immediately enrolled and paid their fees for membership. Others said they found Croquet much harder than it looked. They opted for playing for six weeks to see how they went. This means they play and have lessons for six weeks, then they pay and become members of the Club or they leave. The Mayor discussed the future of croquet in the Northern Suburbs with some of the Croquet Committee members. He saw clearly our lack of space and the difficulty of expanding further. We now have 50 paid up members with others pending. On the Queen’s birthday Monday holiday, 20 September, 15 players turned up. The weather was perfect. The Ricochet doubles tournament is still in progress. Our Christmas party will be held on Wednesday, 17 December, at 12.00. It will be strange not having to worry about organising everything. I feel almost a lady of leisure. This will be my last newsletter. From now on Kate Taylor, the Vice Captain, will be taking over the pleasure. I wish you all a Happy Christmas and successful play in the new year. – Dorothy Bavin
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ETC Engineering and Technology Consultants 61 Loftus St Leederville WA 6007 9328 5500 Thanks to Wayne Gray for his sponsorship
Mother Teresa We all know about Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Here is one of her writings about life. Life is an opportunity – benefit from it. Life is beauty – admire it. Life is bliss – taste it. Life is a dream – realise it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a duty – complete it. Life is a game – play it. Life is costly – care for it. Life is wealth – keep it. Life is love – enjoy it. Life is mystery – know it. Life is a promise – fulfil it. Life is sorrow – overcome it. Life is a song – sing it. Life is a struggle – accept it. Life is an adventure – dare it. Life is too precious – do not destroy it. Life is life – fight for it.
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– John Forkin
You’ll love this one. Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can’t look that old? Well...you’ll love this one. My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Westville high school . ‘Yes. Yes, I did. ‘ He gleamed with pride. ‘When did you matriculate?’ I asked. He answered, ‘in 1975. Why do you ask?’ ‘You were in my class!’, I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, grey-haired, decrepit, son-of-a bitch asked: ‘What did you teach?
– Niel Adams
Wendy’s Whitford City
For delicious ice-creams, drinks, desserts and snacks contact Kishore Dudhia Kiosk 16 Telephone 9401 7917 39
Rearranging the Letters When you rearrange the letters: DORMITORY becomes DIRTY ROOM, PRESBYTERIAN becomes BEST IN PRAYER, ASTRONOMER: becomes MOON STARER, THE EYES: becomes THEY SEE , GEORGE BUSH: becomes HE BUGS GORE, THE MORSE CODE: becomes HERE COME DOTS , SLOT MACHINES: becomes CASH LOST IN ME , ELECTION RESULTS: becomes LIES - LET’S RECOUNT ,A DECIMAL POINT: becomes IM A DOT IN PLACE , THE EARTHQUAKES: becomes THAT QUEER SHAKE , ELEVEN PLUS TWO: becomes TWELVE PLUS ONE , AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: becomes WOMAN HITLER Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands! (Probably a sonin-law) – Ian Wittber
Biscuit Story
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r Monte Carlo was a very fresh biscuit. He took Miss Vo Vo for morning coffee. He put his hand on her Milky Way. She thought this was Nice. But when he put his Scotch Finger near her Date Slice she grabbed him by the Ginger Nuts and made him Sao. –Geoff Glew
A Woman and a Baby A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room waiting for the doctor to
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Farmer Jacks 130 Coolibah Drive Greenwood Open 7 days a week 7am to 9pm
come in for the baby’s first examination. The doctor arrived and examined the baby and checked it’s weight. Being a little concerned he asked if the baby was breast or bottle fed. “Breast fed” she replied. “Well, strip down to your waist” the doctor ordered. She did as he asked and he pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning her to get dressed the doctor said it was no wonder that the baby was underweight as she had no milk. “I know” she replied. “I am his Grandma but I’m glad I came”. – Brian Townsend
What do retired people do all day? Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well for example, the other day I went into Perth and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes when I came out and there was a policeman writing a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?” He ignored me and continued writing out the ticket. I asked him if his parents were married. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tyres. 41
So I called him a real Constable Plod. He finished the second ticket and put it on the wind shield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn’t care. I came into town by bus. I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired. It’s important at my age...... – Alan Turner Did you manage to identify the two Father Christmas’s on the cover and on page 21 The cover photo is Barry Bywaters and the other is Alan Arter
www.liquorhomedelivery.com.au
Contact Jamie Chittick on 0419042105 Shop 4/31 Pimlot St. Dianella WA 6059 Thanks to Dr. Mal Washer for allowing us to photocopy this newsletter 3 Boas Avenue. Joondalup. WA 6027. Phone: (08)9300 2244 42
Club Sponsor Happily coming on board and looking forward to help your club reach it’s full potential
Neville Stevens Re/max Advanced Realtors 9474 7774 or 0428 882 005 neville@remaxadvanced.com.au Award Winner 10 years industry experience All business from club members either personal or referred will be appreciated 43
DVG Wanneroo Mitsubishi, a major sponsor of the Sorrento Bowling Club is at 6 Lancaster Roads in Wangara. With contemporary state of the art facilities, a stylish showroom and award winning professional service, DVG will showcase the best Mitsubishi has to offer in WA. And we’ve just been awarded Distinguished Dealer for the 6th year running so come down and see what the new DVG Wanneroo Mitsubishi is all about.
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