Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 88 March 2022

Sorrento Bowling Club’s Quarterly News Magazine No 88 March 2022 1

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Contents/Index President's Half Year Report 4 Treasurer’s Half Year Report 7 From your Editors 8 Around Our Club 10 Members in Action 13 Match Committee Reports 14 Runners up in our Club Championships 20 St Vincent De Paul Fund Raiser 21 Joe Stow Heart Foundation Charity Event 22 SBC Does Well in Over 60s State Triples 22 Sponsor's Report 23 Solar Panels 25 The "Ins and Outs" of Bowls and Cricket 27 Re-Run of the Battle of Trafalgar 32 World Renown Kiwi Spirit Knows no Bounds 35 Our Own Double Blast from the Past 39 "A Club for Us" 41 An Obituary to an Old Friend 43 Volunteers Recognised by Bowls WA 44 Longevity: How to Make the Most of It 45 Croquet Report 49 Our New Synthetic Green E Green 51 Volunteer Report 53 Getting to Know our Members 55 Coconut Sweet Potato Soup 57 Some Fun Puns 58 Mega Bowls 59 Some Answers 59 Our Two Wendys 60 Melbourne Cup 61

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President's Half Year Report

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would like to say that the past six months have been extremely rewarding and productive for the ongoing growth of our Club.

Membership Membership in the past twelve months has increased from 773 to 825 (6.7%). In the 2019/20 year we had 693 members so it can be seen that we continue to make good progress in this area. A big thank you to Geoff Murray for maintaining our membership renewals and providing statistical information to the Governing Council for regular review. Geoff has decided to pass on the baton to Denis Croker. I thank Denis for taking on this role and I also thank Geoff for the professional way he managed this position for the past seven years.

Major project.

The synthetic green project is due for completion within the next five months. VP Operations, Wayne Gray on behalf of the GC and all members has been involved in numerous discussions with the City of Joondalup to ensure that the City provide a facility that suits the needs of our members. At this point these discussions are ongoing.

The City of Joondalup have put the project out for tender. Wayne Gray will be in further discussions with the City during this process.

The estimated cost of our synthetic green is $468,000. As the City of Joondalup are managing the project, this figure includes professional fees, contingencies, and cost escalation. The Club's one third component is estimated at $170,000 which may include any price rise between now and the project completion. The GC has discussed numerous options for the funding of our contribution. With $60,000 to come from the Club's Capital Works programme, the balance to be

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raised by offering Club debentures. Details of the issue of debentures are yet to be finalised.

This will be the Club’s contingency plan if the funding request of $180,000 from our Federal member Mr Ian Goodenough is unsuccessful. We are still awaiting the outcome of this request.

Grant Funding I have mentioned previously about the importance of grant funding for the ongoing financial sustainability of our Club. Whilst securing grants requires a high level of effort and expertise, no grant will be successful without the support of all members. To date we have been successful in obtaining two Federal Grants assisting with the updating of the Club's internal light system. I want to thank Life Member Brian Lucas for the time and effort he has put in, in submitting these applications.

Volunteers Our “Volunteers Appreciation Evening,” held in early December, was an enormous success. A big thank you to all our volunteers. You are valuable members who give up hours and hours of your time, enabling our Club to be the great Club that it is and always will be.

Thanks to Ken Giles for coordinating our volunteers.

Sponsorship Barry Stewart has continued in the role of coordinating our sponsorship portfolio. We are incredibly lucky to have committed sponsors, so please use our sponsors when you require anything our sponsors provide. Thank you, Barry, Marketing and Communication Ongoing commitment by our Marketing and Communication team ensures that members are kept well informed with all Club news. We

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all appreciate the mighty efforts of Neville and Denise Odell for their continued commitment in presenting the quarterly news magazine.

Also, Wendy Flack for her commitment, dedication, and professionalism in preparing and maintaining our website, weekly enewsletter and Facebook page.

Covid 19 The objective of the Club’s processes is to ensure compliance with the ever-changing government Covid-19 restrictions. Covid requirements are set by the Western Australian government not the Sorrento Bowling Club. Ongoing processes being implemented are designed to ensure our Club is compliant. On behalf of the Governing Council, I would like to thank all members, guests, and friends in complying with the Governments changing Covid restrictions. Your support makes it easier for the Governing Council in implementing ongoing changes as advised by the Government.

Bar and Greens I would like to acknowledge the professionalism shown by our Bar Manager Ian Lucas and his staff; Chloe, Rikki and Anthea. Over the past 6 months we have had an extremely high number of people and groups hiring our facilities for private functions. There has been nothing, but praise, be it verbal or written to Ian and his team. Our lawn greens still rate highly by our members and visitors. I compliment Alan McFayden and his team for maintaining our greens to such a high standard.

Thank you I would like to thank my Governing Council colleagues for their support and commitment over the past 6 months. We have managed to lead this Club to the best of our abilities, and I can assure everyone, that the ongoing success of our Club is our top priority.

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In conclusion I would like to thank you the members for your support over some exceedingly challenging times. Good luck to all members in 2022, let us hope it is full of positives and plenty of successes. Stay Safe, Strong, and Wise.

– John Abercrombie

Treasurer’s Half Year Report I submit my Treasurer’s report for the six months ended 31 October 2021.

Since July 2020 our Club has been operating normally except for restrictions placed during the short shutdown period.

As at 31 October 2021 Debtors, Cash at Bank and On Deposit amounted to $268,117. Net cash position, after Creditors and Liabilities of $147,653, was $120,464.

Net profit (before depreciation) for the six months was $43,231.

During the six months capital expenditure of $17,990 was paid for asphalt pathway, furniture, commercial dishwasher and office equipment.

– Pat Dichiera Editor's Note: On behalf of our members we would like to thank our Governing Council for what they have done for our Club over the past two years.

We are indeed lucky to have such a dedicated team to ensure that our Club continues to go from strength to strength.

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From your Editors

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elcome to another edition of our quarterly news magazine. This edition covers the "ins and outs" of lawn bowls compared to cricket, an article on how political correctness might have influenced the Battle of Trafalgar, our amazing Kiwi members and lots lots more. Once again many thanks to all our contributors especially Jim Woodward and Brian Lucas. Also thanks to Denis Croker who sorted out the cover of this edition.

Cost of this news magazine We have had a few queries about the cost of producing and printing our news magazine. The Governing Council originally agreed that part of the annual income from our Sponsorship income could be used to cover the annual printing cost. Advertising our Sponsors forms an important part of this publication and hopefully when they see their adverts they will be happy to renew their support for our Club. Denise and I cover the annual subscription cost of $360 for the Adobe InDesign software we use for the layout. This software is also used for our Club Information booklet, the annual Fixture booklet and the recently issued booklet on Etiquette.

Apologies First of all apologies for misspelling Ted McGrady's name in the heading of his tribute in our Christmas edition. There is only one person to blame for this error and that is your editor – Neville Odell who added the heading to Jim Woodward's tribute article.

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Did you hear and did you know?

Did you hear that there were celebrations at the NSW Dungog Bowling Club after they set the record for the world’s longest game of continuous lawn bowls? The 107 hour match, over four and a half days, eclipsed the 2010 mark of 105 hours held in England. But the record now belongs to the little town from regional Australia. Most of the 40 members participated in the record attempt throughout the day and night. Some individuals played for more than 35 hours and in excess of 600 ends with more than 1300 scoring shots counted. Their efforts raised $2000 for charity.

Did you know that the raising of Lazarus from the dead happened again when, after being down 18-0 after six ends, the Sorrento 3 Gold team of Murray Newman, Glen McCarthy, John Godfrey and Mike Hodge managed to claw their way back and win their game 27-23? In the previous week this same team beat a North Beach side who in the previous week had won 68 to 1. Well done to Murray and his team.

Did you hear that a well-known bowler was getting ready to take his lovely wife out so he came home early from the Club. He had a shower, got changed into his jeans and put on his brightly coloured shirt. He walked into the family room to let his wife know that he was ready and his wife said "You look nice with that shirt on, but why are you wearing my jeans?" How did she know they were her jeans? It was because they had holes on the knees. Can you guess who? John Godfrey has the answer or look on page 59.

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Around Our Club

Barry and Wilma Bradshaw celebrating Barry's 80th birthday with family and friends

Congratulations to Robyn and Stan van Mosseveld who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in October

May Macliver, Emily Dunn and Trish McCarthy catching up for a drink at the Club

At least we don't have to worry about kangaroos on our greens

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Annie Taylor and Carole Ford on a hot air balloon

Mary and Alan Rolls looking happy in retirement

Did you hear about a couple of busy Thursday and Friday nights when bar turnover touched $6,000 over five hours? Needless to say Chloe, Anthea and Ian were very busy with nearly $10,000 in turnover for the period. A great result that proves our Club's huge potential for well run bowling events and functions. The Thursday function was a 50th birthday for 100 people for a newly signed up social member whom had been a guest of a previous function. Everyone had a great night and great things to say about our Club.

Did you hear that in November our President John Abercrombie, Vice President Operations Wayne Gray and Life Member, Brian Lucas, were invited by the Mayor of Joondalup, Albert Jacob, to attend a Council meeting to acknowledge the growth and performance of our Club. Mayor Jacob extended a warm welcome and advised the meeting that at the 2020-21 Clubs WA Awards Sorrento Bowling Club was recently named "Medium Club of the Year" and that his was the fifth time that Sorrento has claimed this award in the past six years.

Did you know that lawn bowls is one of the most dangerous sports? This game has the highest death rate worldwide. We are deeply involved in the game till our last breath. We stop at nothing short of victory, in our pursuit of victory. Those who escape death end up with bruises, torn knees, broken hips and bone fractures. Bowls generates extreme stress resulting in strokes and even heart attacks. So beware!

Did you know that "Sex tests" were introduced to the Commonwealth Games in 1982? The trio who made up the Australian triples bowling

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team weren't too worried though. Team members Eva Wilcher, Rose O'Brien and Pat Smith, with an average age of 54 had already produced ten children and 14 grandchildren between them!

Did you hear that during a vital Commonwealth Fours game in Canada, the Australian Skipper Geoff Oakley had to save a difficult situation? The jack had been shifted out near the boundary peg by the opposition Skip’s last bowl. There was good news and bad news!

The bad news was that the Australian Skip was eight shots down. The good news was that he had one bowl left to play and had at least three metres of room to draw the shot. Guess what happened! Geoff Oakley played a wrong bias which finished off the rink costing the Australian team a maximum count of eight and any chance of winning a medal.

He never played for Australia again and he often recounted this story as to why!

Editor's Note: Thanks to Ian Davies, from the Warwick Bowling Club, for bringing this story, from Ian Schuback’s book, Bowls Biased and Uncensored, (Slattery Media Group, 2015) to our attention.

Did you hear that, based on personal medical data spanning six years and involving more than seven million individuals Cleveland scientists has found that people on Viagra were less likely to develop Alzheimer's than those not taking this medication? Perhaps all those stories about where men house their brains are true!

Does anyone recognise these beautiful Taylor Ace bowls? About 15 years ago Ken Foggo bought these on Gumtree and has now donated them to the Club. They were originally owned by one of our Life Members. Answer on page 59.

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Members in Action

Anne and Trevor Orton arranged a year end get together just before Christmas for this good looking and happy bunch!

Ken Giles and Alex Third sorting out the bowls used

by Community groups and other social bowlers

Carole Ford and Betty Stern organising the Social bowlers

Winners of the Mosman Park Gala Day from left to right: Jan Paniperis, Jan Siney, Charmain Harris and Pauline Marsden Left: Mega Bowl Friday compère Kevin Coffey and JJ Landman Right: winner of the funny hats Roger Palmer

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Did you know that lawn bowls is a mysterious and ancient game played by people old enough to know better, using balls carefully designed to go in the wrong direction and that a bowl is a device created with extraordinary scientific precision never to go in the direction required – with the object of torturing the creature who plays with it?

– Denise and Neville Odell

Match Committee Reports Men's 2nd Division and Under Singles After the sectional rounds of play for this event, the quarter finalists were Bob Mulroy, Stan van Mosseveld, Bob Jeffs, Rob Tozer, Alan Davis, Brian Staples, Larry Perry and Neville Odell. All players competed very strongly with some very close and quite long games.

The semi finals were ultimately contested between Bob Mulroy and Bob Jeffs, and Brian Staples and Alan Davis, with Bob Mulroy and Brian Staples moving into the final game. This game proved to be a game of two parts with Bob starting very strongly and sprinting to a big lead, until the game swung Brian's way for the back half of the game.

Eventually, Bob showed his class and closed out the game 21-15 in the 18th end.

Congratulations to a very worthy winner.

Mixed Fours This event played in November began with the closely contested semi

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final games seeing Spider Webb’s team defeat Dan Greig’s team and Paul Knight’s team defeat Bruce Eagle’s team to progress to the final.

The final commenced with Paul Knight's team of Jackie Maxwell, Shelley Jeffs and Bob Jeffs being dominant over the first half of the game to be leading Spider’s team of Kaye Martin, Matt Sharrett and Liz Marshall 16-7 shots. This was the result of Jackie Maxwell playing a strong Third's game and being backed up by Paul, Shelley and Bob. The game seemed to be heading to a forgone conclusion with only six ends to play.

However, when Kaye Martin, playing as second for Spider's team, played an up shot and took the kitty into the ditch, which then resulted in Spider's team winning that end, with that shot, the momentum of the game then suddenly changed.

Spider’s team at the beginning of the end had been nine shots down, with only six ends to play. They continued to rally with Liz leading well, and Matt and Kaye beginning to play good bowls and Spider maintaining the pressure on the opposition, to continue winning ends and subsequently winning the game 23-16 shots after 18 ends.

They had scored 16 shots without Knight's team adding to their score.

As described by a Club member “They had one of the comebacks that leave you stunned”.

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Women’s Championship Pairs The event was held in November, in near perfect conditions for the 24 players. The sectional played event saw four sections competing competitively, resulting in four pairs going through to the knock outs.

Section winners were Jan Cook and Liz Marshall, Lorraine Hyde and Jan Paniperis, Barbara Lorencs and Pauline Marsden, and Pauline Bourne and Robyn van Mosseveld.

In the semi finals Jan and Liz displayed excellent bowls to win their game comfortably against Lorraine and Jan Pan. The other semi final was played with Pauline Bourne and Robyn against Barbara and Pauline Marsden. This proved to be a tough competition with Pauline and Robyn coming through as the winners with the final score 13-10.

The final playoff between Jan Cook and Liz Marshall and Pauline Bourne andRobyn van Mosseveld saw Jan and Liz get off to a good start, with Pauline and Robyn fighting back to catch up on the scoreboard on the last few ends.

Conditions changed in the afternoon with the wind proving difficult. The final came to a nail biting conclusion, with Jan and Liz winning by just one shot. Congratulations to Jan and Liz on the well played game, the first Pairs Championship win at the Club for each of them.

Men’s Fours Club Championship This event was held in late November under initially warm, then slightly breezy, mild conditions. Finals comprised 18 ends.

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The first semi final between Greg Taylor’s team of Egon Mikolajczyk, Lindsay Baker and Phil Bilich, and Wayne Gray's team of Peter Crow, Brian Lucas and Wayne Morrell, was won handsomely by team Taylor, who moved out quickly to a lead of 15 and then slowly increased the margin through to the match being called after the 16th end.

The second semi final, between last year's winners Bruce Eagles, Ian Linford, Russell Lockwood and Matt Sharrett, and Chris Lander, Ross Cunningham, Warren Elliott and Kevin McKersey was a closer affair. Bruce gained a lead of 15-4 after 11 ends and while Chris’ team fought back to 18-14 down after 17 ends they were unable to bring real pressure in the last end and Bruce ran out the winner 18-15.

The final was a much closer affair throughout. Bruce’s team twice were up by four shots, but each time Greg’s four pulled back to square within a couple of ends. The game was still in the balance at 18-17 in favour of the Taylor four after 17 ends, but Bruce’s team were holding the tying shot with just the skips’ second bowls to come. Bruce looked to move the kitty back half a metre which would have given them two shots and potential victory, but his bowl, while on the money, only succeeded in slicing the kitty at a very tight angle, away from his bowls to give Greg the win.

The final result (2017) saw the names Greg Taylor, Egon Mikolajczyk, Lindsay Baker and Phil Bilich being added to the Men’s Fours honour roll.

It's the first Club

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Championship win for both Lindsay and Phil.

Editor's Note: Bob Mulroy was going to skip this team until he broke his hand and Greg Taylor took over the skipping duties. Bob was there all day supporting his team. He was heard to claim credit for putting this hot shot team together.

Men's Triples

The finalists in this eventwere Murray Hulbert, Peter Flack and Andy Elmer who played Paul Knight, Chris Lander and Brian Kiely.

Murray's team got off to a good start winning the first three ends however by the midway mark Paul’s team had the scores even.

In the second half Murray's team took charge with the final score 21 - 9. Congratulations to Murray, Peter and Andy our Men's Triples Champions 2021/22. For Peter and Andy this was their first Sorrento Club Championship.

Mixed Pairs The final of this event was played in mid January between Lee Leach and Ron Rogers and Pauline Bourne and Peter Flack, in front of a significant number of spectators waiting

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Runners up in our Club Championships

Pauline Bourne and Robyn van Mosseveld – runners up in the Women's Pairs

Runners up in Men's Triples – Paul Knight, Brian Keily and Chris Lander Runners up in Men's Fours – Russell Lockwood, Bruce Eagles, Ian Linford and Matt Sharrett

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to compete in the subsequent Mega Bowl event. After early exchanges of shots, the former pair eased away to a 13-7 lead after 13 ends of the 18 end final, only for Bourne and Flack to fight back to 13-11 with two ends to go. However, Leach and Rogers survived the comeback to pick up a shot on each of the last two tight ends to take the victory and the trophy for the third time.’

– Match Committee

St Vincent De Paul Fund Raiser

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n November the Greenwood branch held a very successful fundraiser at our Club. Vinnies provide financial and other assistance to needy residents in the Greenwood, Girrawheen and Koondoola areas.

Society members invited relatives and friends to visit our Club for an evening of bowls followed by fellowship. Each visitor paid an entry fee and brought a plate of finger food to share. There were about 90 people present, including 60-70 bowlers who withstood the icy winds.

Bowls ran from 5 to 6.30pm followed by fellowship, which included silent auctions and a raffle. The evening concluded by 8.30pm.

Many favourable comments were heard about our Club thanks to our great bar staff and the six very willing volunteers, pictures alongside. From left to right: Jim and Helen Ironside, Kevin McKersey, Ken Giles, Tony Friedlieb and almost permanent volunteer Alex Third.

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A couple of visitors even enquired about Club memberships. All in all it was a win win situation for our Club and Vinnies. After paying our normal bowls hire fees Vinnies were still happy with a good financial result. It was another opportunity for Sorrento Bowling Club to support worthwhile community groups.

– Tony Friedlieb

Joe Stow Heart Foundation Charity Event

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n a Friday afternoon in early December we held this annual charity event. Joe and his wife Barbara ran the Friday afternoon and Sunday afternoon social bowls for many years. Our newer members will notice that we still have a "Fat Cat Corner" in the Clubhouse.

This was Joe's nickname and he and Barbara are fondly remembered for making everyone so welcome.

There were twenty eight players and everybody enjoyed themselves. $200 was raised for the Heart Foundation and we thank all of you who attended and supported this worthwhile cause.

The winners were Helen Eisenmann (missing from the photo), Ken Evans and John Jackson and runners up were Peter Irvine, Wendy Stobie, Harold Jahn and Russ Fishwick.

– Barbara Spence

SBC Does Well in Over 60s State Triples

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eventy three teams (219 players) entered this event which was held in late November at the Leeming, Willeton and Rossmoyne

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Bowling Clubs. Sorrento was well represented with five teams skippered by Ross Cunningham, Bruce Eagles, Stan van Mosseveld, Trevor Orton and Robin Clarke and a composite team with Peter Flack and Andy Elmer.

Four teams won their section, two of which had to play in an alignment round to make the final 16. Unfortunately Ross Cunningham’s side lost narrowly as did the composite side led by Chris Martin.

In the play off games between the last 16, Robin Clarke, Wayne Morrell and Peter Appleton did well to draw with Sam Perica’s team but lost the extra end. Bruce Eagles, Ian Linford and Greg Taylor were more successful in the last eight, drawing with Sam Perica and then winning the extra end to make the final four.

In the semifinal they played another cliff-hanger, drawing with Greg Trevaskis (Kalamunda) and then losing the extra end. Greg Trevaskis went on to win the final, defeating a Northam team skippered by Ken Wolfenden.

– Peter Appleton

Sponsor's Report We received an endorsement of Unique from Wayne Gray: “I used Unique Home Renovations to retile and re-grout my shower recesses. I found Dav to be very friendly and the standard of workmanship was very good.”

Neville and Denise needed a new wash line and contacted our sponsor

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$400

Safety & Security Rebate Anyone with a WA Seniors Card can get a rebate of up to $400 for home security including deadlocks and window locks.

More information please visit seniorscard.wa.gov.au

Free Quotes Get in quick before this great offer finishes.

Call or SMS on 0492 360 504.

→ echidnalock.com.au

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Aussie Clothes Lines. They did a great job with no hassle so remember if you need a new clothes line or letter box contact Kevin Robinson on 0417 993 468.

Did you know that the WA state government has honoured their promise to reinstate the Seniors Security Rebate. There is now $400 available towards upgrading security for senior card holders. So why not contact our Sponsor Echidna in advert alongside.

Brad's Barber Shop in the Carine Commercial Centre, 6 Davallia Rd will get you neat and tidy and all spruced up for summer on the green.

Drop in any time from Monday to Saturday or visit their website here for hours and pricing. Remember to tell them you're a Sorrento Bowling Club member!

For your travel needs remember Helloworld Alexander Heights (in Alexander Heights Shopping Centre, Mirrabooka Ave) specialise in cruising, coach touring, personally escorted holidays and group day trips leaving from our Club. Call Rod on 9343 9000.

You know what it's like when a new year begins you want to look and feel your best. The friendly EyesOn team are on hand to help you select the perfect eye wear so why not treat yourself to a new pair of glasses or prescription sunglasses and enjoy up to $50 off on frames and sunglasses until 28 February 2022.

– Barry Stewart

Solar Panels I belatedly decided to install solar panels on my home. I say belatedly because when you consider its environmental benefit and financial payback being under two years, it’s really a no brainer! Anyhow, I

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decided to get quotes and looked through our list of sponsors on the Club’s website. E-Solar jumped out and I gave them the opportunity to quote.

They proved very competitive and won the work. They quickly installed an 18 panel, 6.66kw system and did so quickly, efficiently, professionally and with great customer service.

My point here is that it is also a no brainer for members to always consult the Club’s sponsors list before making a purchase and giving them a chance to win your business – it’s win win and when you look at the breadth of Sorrento’s sponsors you will find it quite impressive.

Our website lists sponsors according to the industry that they serve – so do yourself a favour and check out our sponsors before you make purchases.

– Brian Lucas

The "Ins and Outs" of Bowls and Cricket

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ohn Hughes, the WA business icon, recently revealed the secrets of his success.

He said life is like a game of cricket. Using a six ball over as an analogy, he explained that only one of the six balls delivered by a bowler would be of a perfect length and you must learn to deal with it in a positive and decisive manner. In lawn bowls, one good bowl in six of the right length and width, will probably determine whether you remain in or out of the team.

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And when it comes to ins and outs, John Hughes is an expert. He has seen plenty of people come IN to his car yards and seen plenty go OUT. (Some with a new deal in their glove box and some without.)

In this article we discuss the “ins and outs” and similarities between lawn bowls and cricket, First of all for those readers who don’t understand cricket let me explain.

In cricket you have two sides, one out in the field and one in batting.

Each player that’s in the side that’s in the field goes out and when the batsmen are out, they come in and the next batsman goes in until they are out. When a player goes out to go in, the players who are out try to get that player out, and when he or she is out he or she goes in and the next player in goes out and to go in. When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out. Sometimes there are players who remain in and not out.

There are also umpires who stay out all the time, and they decide when the player who is in is out. Depending on the weather and the light, the umpires can also send everybody in, irrespective of whether they’re in or out. When both sides have been in and all the players are out (including those who are not out), then the game is over, and the winner is decided.

For those readers who don’t understand lawn bowls, you may think that this is a very simple game. All a player has to do is to roll their bowls close to the jack. However, the game is not as simple as it appears and to prove this point we have: • The “Laws of the Sport of Bowls” produced by World Bowls in Scotland • National (Bowls Australia) Domestic regulations

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• An Australian 142 page law book incorporating both World Bowls “Laws of the Sport of Bowls” and Bowls Australia “Domestic Regulations”. Copies are available from the Bowls WA for $9 • State (Bowls WA) and Club Match Committees setting “Conditions of Play” for each event under their control.

Umpires often need to search to find the appropriate rule before making a ruling. They need to be across the ins and outs of the game.

However there are lots of similarities between these two games. For example: The Pitch and the Green The minimum length for a game of bowls is just about the same as the length of a cricket pitch. Cricketers play with red, pink and white balls while lawn bowlers try and get their multi-coloured bowls close to a white or yellow ball. The ground between two sets of stumps is also known as the wicket, which after rain can cause the ball to behave unpredictably, hence the phrase sticky wicket. Sometimes a lawn bowls rink can also be sticky. Comments such as “plenty of moisture in the surface, with some grass” can be heard on the bowling green and the cricket field.

Underarm bowling Underarm bowling in cricket refers to a style of delivering the ball whereupon the player releases it in a manner reminiscent of a lawn bowler. Underarm bowling was banned by the ICC because of this, as it was not within the spirit of the game unless it has been agreed to by both teams before the match.

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Hat tricks

The dismissing of three batsmen with three consecutive balls by a bowler in cricket is known as a hat trick and cricketers get very excited when this happens.

Similarly, a hat trick can occur on a bowling green, as evidenced by our friend John Sturk (aka “Sturkie” or “Jaffa”) when he throws his hat into the air in frustration and then jumps on it whilst shouting “Howzat!”. This trick was recently captured on camera and is pictured alongside.

Maiden Overs In cricket a special event is when you “bowl a maiden over”. A maiden is an over in which the batsman does not score a run, and there are no wides or no balls. Jokes about “bowling a maiden over” have been officially banned under the Geneva Convention. If anyone knows of a maiden being bowled over on the bowling green, please let us know?

"Fast Bowlers" and "Slow Bowlers" And, just like in cricket, lawn bowls contains fast bowlers and slow bowlers. You would have to be pretty slippery to beat Trevor Orton off the green in the Twilight 2x4x2 competition while some of our slow bowlers almost need a lantern to see their way back to the clubhouse. When batsmen decide to try and score a run, they are said to be running between the wickets. This process of deciding to run involves a simple process of communication, referred to as “calling”.

Running between the wickets has five basic calls, ‘Yes’, ‘No’, ‘Wait’, ‘Bugger’ and ‘Sorry’. Young lawn bowlers will run up to the head when they get excited while older bowlers (Brian Saul perhaps) will move towards the head with as much gusto as they can muster.

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Equipment

The box is the most important piece of cricketing equipment. Nothing is worse than being hit in the nuts without a box on.

Fortunately, a box is not required in lawn bowls. When a lawn bowler does a fullblooded drive, and bowls scatter all over, quick reactions are required to prevent broken ankles or damage and disruption to the game on the next rink. One mighty drive resulted in the jack ending up on our clubhouse roof – another broke the jack in half and there was then a dispute about whose bowl was nearest to each half and an umpire had to be called and find this rule in his rule book – talk about going nuts.

Skippers

In both cricket and lawn bowls we have Skippers.

A Skipper is usually experienced and has good communication skills. A Skipper’s knowledge of the complexities of strategy and tactics, and shrewdness may contribute significantly to the team’s success. They need to be aware of the ins and outs of the game.

In cricket an umpire will raise a single finger to indicate that the batsman is out. In lawn bowls one, two, three or four raised fingers mean different things depending on the circumstances and whether the

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Skipper is happy or not. It’s important to notice whether the finger(s) point in or out.

Getting the ball or bowl to swing Fortunately, lawn bowlers do not use saliva to get one side of their bowl shiny so that it will swing. The built in bias in a lawn bowl creates enough of a problem especially when the wind is blowing.

Some bowlers however are known to drool but it’s unclear whether this relates to the performance of the bowl.

Conclusion

Fortunately, after the heat of battle, both cricket and bowls games finish with a drink and great companionship.

– Thanks to Brian Lucas and Jim Woodward for this article

Re-Run of the Battle of Trafalgar

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n 1805 a naval engagement between the British Royal Navy and the combined French and Spanish Navies – a total of 33 ships that outnumbered the British fleet under Admiral Lord Nelson.

To address this imbalance, Nelson sailed his fleet directly at the allied battle line's flank, hoping to break it into pieces.

The plan worked due to the ingenuity and courage of Nelson and his fellow sailors. Historians recently analysed the battle and predicted that if a modern day Australian sailor was on board Nelson’s ship, then the battle would have been lost. Why? Well, they predicted that the conversation between Nelson and his Australian Chief Mate (named

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Hardy) would have gone something like this: Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy.

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

Nelson (reading the flag signal aloud): You said "' England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' What gobbledygook is this?"

Hardy: "Australian Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels in Australia are designated smoke free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It's part of the Australian Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it – full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a four knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

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Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of legal aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the French and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

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Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are your European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity coordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy who speaks ill of your King."

Hardy: "Not anymore, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life" Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about having you key holed and fed to the sharks?"

Hardy: "Sharks are an endangered species sir and that could be seen as overfeeding. As far as the key holing goes, well I’m not sure but I could seek legal advice and talk to our industrial relations and Worksafe people.

Nelson: "In that case raise the surrender flag if that’s allowed” – Brian Lucas

World Renown Kiwi Spirit Knows no Bounds

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y former cricket-writing colleague Robert “Crash” Craddock recently wrote an article in Brisbane’s Courier Mail which told of the enormous respect New Zealand’s cricket

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team has generated around the globe.

Craddock, who had interviewed former Australian umpire Bruce Oxenford (pictured alongside), gained a rare insight into the refreshing attitude of the Kiwi cricketers. Oxenford, who recently retired after 14 years on the international panel and who officiated in 62 Test matches, 97 one day internationals and twenty T20 games, told Crash he believed the New Zealand team had become a World Cup powerhouse by taking negative energy out of the game.

In recent times the Kiwi cricket team has been crowned World Test Match Champions after beating India in the final, was robbed of victory in the ODI final against England and was beaten in the T20 final against Australia.

Oxenford has umpired New Zealand many times and their relaxed mindset, including being gracious and supportive to umpires when they make a mistake, has impressed him to such a degree he tried to adopt a similar approach.

“They are amazing,” Oxenford told Crash. “They could have been world champions (in ODI’s) had it not been for an incorrect call on an overthrow in the last 50 over World Cup. The outcome, after the ricochet to the boundary off Ben Stokes’ bat in the final over, couldn’t have been crueler for the Kiwis, but the team handled the disappointment with incredible distinction.

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With an opinion that could well be applied to lawn bowls, Oxenford went on to say, “New Zealand don’t waste energy on things they cannot control. It’s such a vital thing for all sports people. If you start concerning yourself with things that go wrong you can forget about the things that need to go right. “I think it started when Brendon McCullum took over as captain. He took a lead off the All Blacks and started giving respect to the opposition. Controlling what you can and forgetting about the rest.”

“It’s incredible. They genuinely wish you well before and during the game. It’s nice to be treated as an equal rather than an enemy on the field.” Oxenford feels any sporting team could learn and improve if they successfully embraced the Kiwi mindset.

“The “good bloke” syndrome is only part of it. It’s about playing without mental handbrakes,” Oxenford said “New Zealand just doesn’t waste energy on things it can’t control.” Craddock couldn’t agree more. “While the sledgers of world cricket stew in their own juices, the unpretentious Kiwis simply shrug their shoulders at every setback, move on and don’t waste a calorie of energy. “The Kiwis’ come what may attitude, where they simply do their best and get on with the job without regret or remorse, has left others in the cricketing world behind.”

And, while on the subject of Kiwis, the “good bloke” syndrome at the Sorrento Bowling Club is well and truly alive. At last count there are nine Kiwi blokes at our Club – Chris Lander, Ross Cunningham, Warren Elliott, Mick Martin, Kevin McKersey, John Smith, John Hobbs, Gerald Hanna, and Russel Fishwick.

And Russel, our esteemed Joondalup councilor, surreptitiously points to a quote attributed to former New Zealand Prime Minister Piggy Muldoon. “Every time a Kiwi migrates to Australia, they improve the

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intelligence of both countries,” Muldoon said.

We have two valuable Kiwi lady members, the no nonsense selection chair Shona Carter and the indefatigable Emily Dunn, at age 92, who still plays social bowls and until recently made sandwiches for the Men's Pennant teams.

On the count of loyalty, Chris Lander is unwavering. In putting together a team for the Club Championship Fours, in which they reached the semi finals in November, Chris selected Ross Cunningham as his third, Warren Elliott as his second and Kevin McKersey as his lead.

Chris did the same thing when picking Kevin McKersey, Ross Cunningham and John Smith, the previous year and is fiercely proud that he is able to skip a Shaky Isles team in such a prestigious event. “We don’t do the Haka before a game but we do bowl underarm,” he quipped.

– Jim Woodward Editor's Note: We are indeed lucky to have such a great bunch of Kiwis in our Club. Hopefully we have recognised all of them!

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Our Own Double Blast from the Past Any club that can boast having bowlers named Frank Tyson and Jeff Thomson in its ranks is bound to be able to pack quite a punch.

But that’s exactly who Sorrento now has on its playing list and already the results are starting to show. Frank, left in photo has been with us for quite a while now and has well and truly made his mark by gaining Premier Division status on both Thursday and Saturday.

Of course, his namesake Frank “Typhoon” Tyson terrorised batsmen during his playing days for England during the 1950’s, taking 76 wickets in 17 Tests and having Don Bradman describe him as the fastest bowler he ever saw. And would you believe it that when our Frank's sister ran a check on their "Family Tree" they discovered that they are not only related to "Typhoon" but also Lord Nelson.

Then at the start of this season, who should stride through the doors of our Club? None other than a Jeffrey Robert Thomson, saddled with the same middle name and surname-spelling as our beloved hero from yesteryear, Thommo. Thommo who took 200 wickets in 51 Tests formed as lethal a fast bowling combination with Dennis Lillee as there has ever been in the 145 years Tests have been played.

And now we have our own Jeff Thomson, who incidentally is only six months younger than the former tearaway Queensland quick.

Jeff, and his partner Lesley Hughes are most welcome additions to

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Sorrento, which must surely appreciate their commitment in travelling 120 kilometres each up to THREE times a week (including practice) to play for our Club. He said the “shining light” has been the revamped Reid Highway plus his desire to play at a club which had grass greens. Then Lesley’s 30 year plus friendship with our Dan Greig sealed the deal. When asked why they bypassed ten bowling clubs on their way to Sorrento Lesley wrote the delightful little song "A Club for Us" (alongside).

Jeff this season has been playing Second Division on Thursday and Saturday while Lesley is part of Sorrento’s Division 1 squad on Tuesday and backs up on Saturdays.

The pair previously played for Mundaring and live on a 60 acre property at Mt Helena where they no longer run sheep but harvest oranges, mulberries, cherries and vegetables. One of the mulberry trees is so large Jeff calls it “The Green Room” because its canopy is so vast it’s possible to comfortably accommodate a table and chairs in the shade.

And the abundance of bird life on the property has a soothing effect on them both.

During his time at Mundaring, Jeff at various times was the club’s Secretary, Vice President and President. But he says it all “became too much for me and there was a shortage of volunteers.” Sorrento, by comparison, Jeff says, has a great culture, is well run and is laced with good people.

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"A Club for Us" (To be sung to the tune of “Johnny Came Marching Home”)

We wanted to play some bowls again, Hoorah! Hoorah!

But we needed a Club to roll them down, Hoorah! Hoorah!

We’d had a break from our local Club, and missed our bowls and had no pub, so map in hand and off in our car to find a Club for us.

Reid Highway traffic was a breeze, Hoorah! Hoorah!

The other Clubs were passed with ease, Hoorah! Hoorah!

The call of the coast was far too strong, we thought we couldn’t do any wrong.

The Bowls and green are both top class, Sorrento’s the Club for us!

Once we arrived we knew for sure, Hoorah! Hoorah!

Now were’ bowling with a view, Hoorah! Hoorah!

A warm welcome and friendly bar, It’s worth the journey to come so far, with a sea breeze, no more can you ask, Sorrento’s the Club for us!

– Lesley Hughes

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Jeff grew up in Northam and later moved to Perth to complete his secondary school education. He completed his degree in geology at UWA and worked on gas and oil rigs before being made an offer too good to refuse in Venezuela. “I had to grab an atlas to see where it was" he admits. After a successful stint there, Jeff took up job opportunities in Canada, the United States, Malaysia, China and New Zealand, probably making him the second most travelled geologist in the world after Apollo 17’s moonwalking Harrison Schmitt. Jeff then returned to Perth where he became a drilling engineer and designed gas and oil wells.

How was it growing up at the same time Thommo was creating havoc around the world? “I always wished him well” he said. “I wasn’t ribbed about having the same name as Thommo back then as I am on the bowling green these days” Jeff says. “But I simply tell everybody there will be no more bouncers.”

Lesley grew up on the “Gold Reef” near Johannesburg where her father was a mining engineer. She says she was known as a “mine meisie” (mine girl) and says at the age of 21, “I was out of there.”

Lesley’s first husband was also a geologist and after firstly working as a laboratory technician in Cape Town, she did one year stints as a housewife in Alaska and in a Dr’s surgery in Montana.

Jeff, who has lived on his little farm for 34 years, describes it as “retirement heaven”, but when it all becomes too hard and he must pull up stumps, Jeff and Lesley have a plan.

The good oil from this affable ex geologist is that he and Lesley plan to buy a much smaller property near the coast to make it a lot easier to still play for Sorrento. Now, that’s got to be dedication and devotion in the extreme.

– Jim Woodward

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An Obituary to an Old Friend

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oday we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: • Knowing when to come in out of the rain; • Why the early bird gets the worm; • Life isn't always fair; and • Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children and it declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became busi-

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nesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims and took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. He is survived by his four stepbrothers; • I know my rights • I want it now • Someone else is to blame • I'm a victim Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

– Thanks to Brian Lucas for this article

Volunteers Recognised by Bowls WA

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n December at Crown Perth, Bowls WA recognised a number of volunteers, who have provided services to the Association, by providing certificates of appreciation and service. As well as inviting the recipients of the awards also invited Board members and guests from their clubs. Representing Sorrento was Brian Lucas, accompanied by two of Sorrento’s volunteer stalwarts Denis Croker and Bob Jeffs.

Ken Pride from Bowls WA pointed out that while other States are able to pay staff and volunteers through poker revenues and other sources of income, WA relies on the good will and commitments of its many regular volunteers.

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As part of the function Glen Dunkerton from Regional Men’s Health Initiative was also able to give those in attendance a brief presentation on issues that affect Men in WA and how we can help. The partnership between Regional Men’s Health and Bowls WA seeks opportunities at regional clubs for the RMHI team to encourage men to talk openly about men’s health issues particularly but not limited to mental health, alcohol consumption, prostate etc.

Bowls WA CEO Ken Pride, President Larry Bandy, and attending Board members thanked those who had given their time in recent years on committees and or in the promotion of the sport of bowls. Of note was the Badge of Merit awarded to long time and only recently former Bowls WA Umpires Chair Michael Garratt.

Also receiving an award was Anne Lilley from Sorrento who is a long time servant in the Inter Region Round Robin and Bowls Management Committee. Unfortunately Anne was not able to attend the event.

Volunteers are the life blood of any club and we again thank our members for their efforts and commitment to volunteer and encourage others to have a go.

– Aaron Delaporte and Brian Lucas

Longevity: How to Make the Most of It

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rofessor Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a university researcher, addressed the question of longevity in studies of tens of thousands of middle-aged people. She looked at their lifestyle, diet, exercise, marital status, how often they went to the doctor, whether they smoked or drank, etc. She recorded all of this and waited for seven years to see who would still be breathing and what had reduced their chances

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of dying the most? Going from the least powerful predictor to the strongest she found that: • Air Pollution: Clean air doesn't predict how long you will live.

• Obesity: Whether you're lean or overweight, you can stop feeling guilty about this, because it's only in second place • Physical Activity: How much exercise you get is next, still only a moderate predictor and whether you've had a cardiac event • Loneliness: Ranks as number four • Excessive Drinking: Whether you were drinking and quit, or whether you're a moderate drinker, this comes in at number five • Social Connection: Social connection can lower anxiety and depression and comes in at number six • Smoking: Whether you don't smoke, or if you did, whether you quit it at age seven!

After reading this list I seriously feel like a drink and a smoke, a Bex and a lie down. Anyhow, getting towards her top predictors for longevity are two features of your social life.

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First, she says are your close relationships. “These are the people that you can call on for a loan if you need money suddenly, who will call the doctor if you're not feeling well or who will take you to the hospital, or who will sit with you if you're having an existential crisis or if you're in despair.” If they were happy, it’s unlikely that they will be once they receive a call from you! (Just joking!)

She says “Those people, that little clutch of people is a strong predictor, if you have them, of how long you'll live. And then something that surprised me, something that's called social integration. This means how much you interact with people as you move through your day.

How many people do you talk to each day?”

She goes on to say that your interaction with this little clutch of people could be identified by: • Do you talk to the guy who every day makes you your coffee?

• Do you talk to the postman?

• Do you talk to the woman who walks by your house every day with her dog?

• Do you play bowls, croquet, darts, bridge or poker?

• Do you belong to a book club?

Remember, these people were probably happy before you spoke to them – just joking! But seriously, maintaining close contact with good friends, interacting with people you come into contact with, being part of a community such as Sorrento and giving a supporting and compassionate hand to people in need is both beneficial for them and good for your own well-being.

Stay involved, stay connected and enjoy each day as it comes.

– Thanks to Julianne Holt-Lunstad, who inspired this article

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Croquet Report

Tournaments and Competitions The annual Victoria Park Flexi Tournament (GC Doubles) was held over a weekend in November. Four of our players entered with all giving good performances against some formidable competition. Five of the six players were State players with handicaps from minus two to minus four whilst our players have handicaps ranging from eight to fourteen. Jan and Terry were placed 5th of 12 pairs; while Jenny and Cheryl achieved 8th position. Well done to these players.

In November the Busselton Spring Tournament was held. Twenty pairs, including Sorrento “regulars” Jenny Wilmot and Cheryl Saul, entered and played in two Blocks of ten pairs. Di McGivern was in Busselton visiting family, when she was called asking if she would like to partner Walter Reid from Albany Croquet Club. They proved to be a successful team, winning their Block with eight wins from nine matches. Playing the winners of the other Block in the finals, they were narrowly beaten 7 – 5.

2021/22 Summer Pennants Competition Sorrento entered a team comprising four relatively new players playing in their first ever Pennants. Captained by Wendy Price, our ladies did remarkably well; with selectors and coaches from other clubs re

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marking on their prowess.

In particular, Wendy (won ten games) and Vikki Mitchell (won seven games) were highly complimented.

Other regular team members were Lorraine Bates (won four games) and Margaret Windle (won two games); with Rose Gannaway standing in as Reserve from time to time and losing two of her games in very close finishes. We are all very proud of our whole team of players!

From a player’s perspective Lorraine Bates wrote the following: "I found the whole experience of playing Pennants very rewarding. It gave me the opportunity to play in a different format against a variety of clubs, some of which I had not, previously, visited. It was interesting to play on different grounds, some being a bit “challenging” and others being “highly manicured” but all providing us with opportunities to learn from generally more experienced players, while also playing under lights. I am grateful to Wendy, fellow team mates, and reserves for a really enjoyable season of play".

Christmas Lunch 41 members and partners and friends enjoyed the lunch. Sadly, nine members had to withdraw on the day due to ill health or accident. We missed them and wish them all a speedy recovery. The ever popular “Win the Whiskey” was won by Eric Hobson, who narrowly beat Jenny Wilmot in rolling his winning coin closer to the bottle in his final throw.

Well done, Eric! The appearance of “Santa” was welcomed as he

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distributed little packs of choccies to our members with comments about them, and creating much laughter as his costume “misbehaved”! Our thanks go to our wonderful Bar Staff, who kept us “hydrated” most efficiently; and to the many members, who helped to make the event the success that it proved to be – before, during and after the Festivities!

– Kerry Bomford

Our New Synthetic Green E Green What will we be getting?

The new green will be 40 by 38 meters. There will be eight rinks and we will be able to play North/South in the summer and East/West in the winter. The rinks will be slightly narrower when we play East/ West. Flood lighting, shade cloth, an irrigation system, surrounds, score board and additional seating will be provided subject to final tender pricing. The City of Joondalup is managing the tender process and has broken the project down into multiple separate tender packages.

Who will be supplying the green?

The tender put out for the synthetic green by City of Joondalup is an open tender based on three possible surfaces being Ultra Plus, Dry Max Pro or Ultra Plus Gold. We are still trying to convince the City

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of Joondalup to award the contract for the Ultra Plus Gold 12mm product as this has the best reputation.

What green speed can we expect?

The green shall be rolled to achieve a playing speed of between 14 and 18 seconds in both directions How do we avoid the problems some Clubs have experienced with green speeds?

We will make sure the new green is not over rolled or over watered.

We will carry out maintenance as directed by the product supplier to alleviate similar problems to North Beach when their new Ultra Plus Gold synthetic became super fast apparently due to calcium in the sprinkler water Will we need to vacuum leaves from the green?

We will need to brush and vacuum the green. There may be fewer leaves than we currently experience on E green as some of the trees on the east bank boundary will be removed.

When will the green be completed?

The City of Joondalup have advised that work will commence once Pennants is finished in April with an estimated completion date of end June What will it cost and how will it be financed?

The total cost is estimated at approx. $468,000 and this will be split three ways between the WA State Government’s Department of Sport and Recreation, the City of Joondalup and us. Our share could end up being in range of $170,000. The Governing Council is looking at forming a Funding Committee from our members to investigate and make recommendations on ways to fund the Club's contribution – Wayne Gray

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Volunteer Report

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nce again our volunteers have given hours and hours of their time to assist around our Club. It is difficult to thank everyone but I would however like to say a special thank you to the following volunteers: State Events We have had a number of State events at Sorrento. Thank you to our Match committees, our umpires and our ladies who prepare food for these events.

Emily Dunn Having reached the age of 92 and after many years Emily has retired from making sandwiches for the Men's Pennant teams. The good news is that Emily is still playing bowls and will be still be seen around our Club. Thanks Emily for your many years of volunteering.

Pictured below are Gail Taylor, Bev Carrigy, Emily Dunn and and Liz McKersey – some of our "Sandwich Makers".

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Social Groups Least but not last many thanks to those volunteers who stand on the greens on many nights, smiles on their faces, explaining to social groups how to play bowls. Up till the end of December we had a total of 48 bookings of social groups plus 25 bookings from schools.

– Ken Giles

Women's Premier "Value Award" Winners

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t the beginning of the season, the Women's Pennant teams were offered the opportunity to develop their own set of values and culture as a team. The Women's Premier team stepped up and did just that, under the guidance of Club Coach Coordinator Brian Clausen.

Having established the values that were important for the team to perform at their best on the green, the value award was introduced to be presented to the player who best displays our team values during each Pennant game.

The first and the last awards for the year went to Jan Paniperis.

Throughout the season she has shown persistence and determination, sticking to the game plan and producing some excellent bowling for her team The second award went to Charmain Harris who as a Skip, created a positive and supportive environment for her team who were able to relax and enjoy their bowls. Charmain herself also bowled extremely well throughout the game The third award went to Shelley Jeffs who had embraced her new position of Third and worked hard throughout the morning to produce some fine bowling for her team.

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The fourth award went to Barb Lorencs. Barb's positive support and encouragement of her team saw her rink record a convincing win of 21-10 over Mosman Park The fifth award for the year went to Coral Smith. As well as playing her role within the team and putting down very good bowls of her own, Coral was positive and supportive, encouraging her teammates throughout the day. Round 8 award went to Wendy Flack for delivering excellent lead bowls enabling her team to build a head and win their rink.

Getting to Know Bruce – The Eagle has landed

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aving spent six weeks with Bruce Eagles and Richard Bone on their newbies training and development program we can all say that we found the whole experience hugely rewarding.

We were lucky to get on the course because it was in big demand and the mentors had to limit the numbers.

The course provided intense focus on motivation, physicality, technique, etiquette and psychology. It included knowledge that the average beginner would take years to absorb. Bruce and Richard shared personal gems which reflected on their own experience as highly successful bowlers.

Bruce openly shared many personal glimpses of his driven personality. Some of the qualities that make him such a formidable opponent

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were ingrained in his early days as an A grade squash player. The gladiator style, one on one aggression, and tenacity are all self evident.

Bruce is an inclusive leader. He consults the members of his team in deciding the best approach during games. He leads by example and trains his mind and body to extreme lengths. His professional approach and dedication are admirable. Coming “second” is not in the Bruce vocabulary.

Although he presents as a seriously, serious dude, he can laugh at himself and engage in a bit of friendly banter – not afraid to drop his guard and allow a dig! We found him to be patient and encouraging, even when we put down some terribly bad bowls. Negativity of any kind is banned on his rink!

Bruce has so many championship wins to his credit, he could have his own honour board. As a top class player he would have received numerous enticements to join other clubs. Thankfully for us, Bruce is “Sorrento” down to his socks. There is no mistaking his deep loyalty and commitment to give back as much as he can to our Club.

Bruce promised to keep an eye on his proteges and has already spent many hours watching and mentoring us on the greens – what Bruce says, Bruce does - big on commitment and big on follow through.

It was indeed a privilege, to see and enjoy the more human and vulnerable side to this awesome bowling machine. Another great memory to cherish in our Sorrento journey.

– One of the lucky newbies

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Coconut Sweet Potato Soup

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f you are looking for a recipe for some delicious soup you may like to try the following:

For a creamier consistency use coconut cream rather than milk.

Serves four: A quarter cup vegetable oil 1 red onion 1 carrot, peeled and chopped 1 tomato, chopped 2cm piece ginger, peeled and finely chopped 1 garlic clove, crushed 1 tsp ground cumin 1 kg sweet potato, peeled and chopped 4 cups vegetable stock or water Half a tsp chilli flakes, plus 1 tsp extra to serve 400 ml can coconut milk or cream Lime juice to taste, plus lime wedges to serve Toasted coconut flakes Coriander leaves, to serve In a large saucepan heat half the oil on high. Saute onion 3-4 min until tender. Add carrot, tomato, ginger, garlic and cumin. Cook 1-2 mins, stirring, until fragrant. Add sweet potato, stock and chilli flakes. Bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium and simmer 20-25 mins until vegetables are tender. Using a hand blender, puree soup until smooth. Stir coconut milk or cream through. Reheat on low, stirring.

Add juice and season to taste. Ladle soup into serving bowls. Top with toasted coconut, coriander leaves and extra chilli flakes. Serve with lime wedges.

– Thanks to the West Australian for this recipe

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Some Fun Puns • • • • • • • • • • • • •

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

My ex wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve.

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no bell prize.

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" Dad: "No sun.”

Clinic Receptionist: “Doctor, there's a patient online that says he's become invisible". Doctor: “Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

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Mega Bowls

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his innovation introduced by Wendy and Peter Flack is a fun, inclusive event for bowlers and non-bowlers, members and guests. You have one bowl and one opponent, with the closest to the jack going onto the next knockout round, ending up with a final between two players to share all the entry money in prizes. It is fast and furious with anyone capable of winning with just one bowl! The photo below shows all the first week participants.

Left: First week's winner Ron Rogers and runner up Frank Tyson Right: Second week's winner Kevin Coffey and runner up Lee Leach

Some Answers

"Who owned these bowls?" The bowls that Ken Foggo acquired originally belonged to Des Bennett "Who wore his wife's jeans?" Ron Rogers

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Our Two "Wendy's"

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f you Google "Wendy" you will learn that Wendys are kind, friendly, easy going, calm and popular people who are always willing to help anyone in need and put up their hands when a volunteer is required.

Our two Wendys are like two peas in a pod. Wendy Flack is the "Queen of our Web site" and Wendy Saul is the "Queen of the Kitchen". (and both are brilliant bowlers). Wendy Flack is light and breezy and always helping members out with their computer or mobile phone problems and Wendy Saul is a kind lady and is always ready to put on the apron and to run the kitchen.

We are indeed lucky to have the two "Wendy's" in our Club and on behalf of all our members we thank them for all their voluntary work.

– Cheryl Greig

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Melbourne Cup

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fabulous Melbourne Cup Luncheon was held at Sorrento with 107 guests enjoying champagne, sweeps, lunch, live entertainment and each other's company. The theme for the day was purple, black and white, reflected in the dresses, shirts and fascinators. The tables were adorned with black and white runners and sequined vases wrapped in purple and white ribbons. Black horses held the table numbers and details on past Melbourne Cup winners added to the tradition of the day.

After watching the race on the big screen and enjoying a delicious lunch served by David Manuel and his staff of The Melt Hub, the crowd were entertained by Chris - Beatles to Buble, packing the dance floor.

Many thanks to our bar manager Ian Lucas and staff for all their help, and all the committee members and volunteers who helped to set up and clear tables. A huge thank you to Cheryl Greig for all her planning, organisation and hard work to make this event a great success.

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