Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 77 June 2019

Sorrento Bowling Club’s Quarterly News Magazine

Our “Bowlers of the Year” – Nerrida Porteous and Bruce Eagles 1

Number 77 June Quarter 2019

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Contents From Your Editors 5 Around Our Club 7 The winners of the Wanneroo/Joondalup Trophy 7 2018/19 Men’s Pennant Report 13 2018/19 Women’s Pennant Report 18 Presentation Evening 19 Men’s Match Committee Report 20 Women’s Match Committee Report 26 Oh To Be 12 Again... 30 “Good” versus “Useless” 31 Ode to a Bowler 33 Country Week 36 Umpire’s Corner 37 Club Development Plans On Hold 37 Another Did you hear? 42 A tribute to Nelly Heard 42 Our Club’s Website 43 Our Volunteers Thank You Evening 45 Message from Ken Giles 46 Tribute to Alan Victor Wood (1943-2019) 47 The Right Bowl 48 State Over Sixties Mixed Pairs 51 State vs Presidents Team and Country vs. Metro 53 Bowls WA Inter Region Round Robin Fours 54 Sponsors’ Report 55 Croquet Newsletter 56 Some Late News 61 4

From Your Editors If you need to contact your Editors, Neville or Denise Odell, please phone 9309 3108 or send us an email at: nevodell@bigpond.net.au

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elcome to our June 2019 Quarterly News Magazine.

First of all apologies to Val McIntosh for getting her name wrong in the caption to the photograph alongside. The three ladies are Val McIntosh, Nora Giles and Helen O’Brien. I tried to blame Denise for getting it wrong but it was my fault.

Aims and Objectives As mentioned in our last quarterly news magazine we have been producing a Club newsletter for more than 12 years. We always try to get a balance between Club activities and jokes/funny stories. We also strive to get the balance right between the Ladies and Men’s activities and try to make sure both our Croquet Club and our Darts Club get a regular mention. Our Sponsorship partners are well advertised although we need more advertorial about what they would like to offer our members.

We therefore thought it opportune to outline and review the “Aims And Objectives” that we attempt to address. These are currently to: • Keep our members informed about the vision, future directions and strategies adopted or planned by the Club by providing a conduit between the Governing Council, members and stakeholders 5

and thereby stimulating discussion about important or controversial issues • Provide a vehicle to allow our various Committees to communicate with members about past and future activities and thereby encourage discussion and participation • Demonstrate to key stakeholders such as the City of Joondalup and its counsellors, Bowls WA, Clubs WA, local politicians and community groups the wonderful community and sporting asset that Sorrento provides • Recognise the achievements and aspirations of our members and stakeholders by sharing articles, features, stories and photographs relating to their experiences and Club activities • Entertain members and stakeholders with interesting and humorous cartoons, photographs, stories and features • Produce articles about new and existing members so that we get to know each other better • Demonstrate to prospective members and stakeholders the vibrancy, sense of community and professionalism that Sorrento offers • Showcase the great products and services offered by our many loyal sponsors and partners and encourage the support of our members and their families and friends to give them the opportunity to win their business What we believe makes our quarterly newsletter somewhat unique is the wonderful and willing contribution to it by so many of our members. We encourage all members to contribute to our upcoming newsletters and we welcome any feedback on whether we are meeting our objectives set out above. Please send us an email or give us a call with your views.

Some more “Did you knows”?

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

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Around Our Club

The versatile Jim Woodward after skippering, along with Janice Power (left) and Maureen Palmer, his team to a win in a twilight competition at Sorrento organised by Kevin and Jan Cook.

Members of the Subiaco Women’s Football team enjoying an evening of bowls and pizza

The winners of the Wanneroo/ Joondalup Trophy

Jan Siney, Mayor Jacobs, Shona Carter, Charmain Harris, Anne Lilley, Pauline Bourne, Robyn Rowe, Jenny Lockwood, Pauline Marsden, Kaye Martin, Anna Wimbridge, Lauris Berry, Beryl Tutt, Jan Paniperis, Coral Smith, Robyn van Mosseveld, Betty Stern,7 Cheryl Greig, Jan Cook, Moira Dean, Lee Leach and Sharon Eggers

Did you know that in a study of 200 000 ostriches, over a period of 80 years, there were no reported cases of an ostrich burying its head in the sand?

Did you know that Bowls Victoria’s “Bowling with Babies” program has won the “Victorian Sport Development Initiative of the Year”? The program was created to complement the state government’s strategy around women participating in sport and growing engagement. The program seeks to assist less active parents to become more active and enabling time to focus on their physical well-being in a relaxing and comfortable environment, with their baby. Apparently the family-friendly environment of bowls clubs is a perfect location for a non-competitive physical activity specifically designed to fit the needs of new and expecting parents.” The program is also helping to promote female participation in sport and reviving lawn bowls as a social sports option for women.

Now in its second year, the program has recently celebrated its 1000th participant in about 30 clubs Did you hear that Brian Collins arrived at bowls just prior to an important Pennant game and when going to his locker to get his bowls out remembered that they were in the boot of his wife’s car and that she had gone shopping without her mobile phone?

Did you know that Brian Self’s weekly raffles during the Pennant season raised over $4000 for Club funds? Well done Brian and your helpers John Murphy and Rob Tozer.

Did you hear that Brian Lucas is a finalist in the Clubs WA Lifetime Contribution to Volunteering Award? As we know volunteers are the lifeblood of a club and many members dedicated a ‘lifetime’ of volunteering. This award recognises a dedicated volunteer who has volunteered within their club for more than 10 years. We look forward to 8

hearing the announcement that Brian has won the award when Clubs WA’s Industry Awards for Excellence are presented on 29 June 2019.

Did you hear that Sorrento is a finalist in the Clubs WA Best Marketing Award? This new award will focus on clubs who implemented and developed marketing activities that have effectively promoted their club’s services and memberships. Judges will look at the marketing and engagement tools used to attract and retain potential and existing members. Brian put together a comprehensive summary of all our achievements so we have a good chance of winning this award.

Did you hear what happened in a Pennant game on a damp/wet Saturday on very slow greens? The Third had had a particularly bad day on the slow greens at an away game. He had been unable to reach the head for the majority of the game and was becoming increasingly frustrated and, of course, was demonstrating this and letting everybody know it (by throwing and kicking his hat more than usual). At the end of the game and after we had all packed up it was noticed that someone had left their hat on the bank of the green. Noticing the hat, a few bowlers with a sense of humour placed something in it – money!! When the bowler returned to retrieve his hat and noticed the coins in it he asked what it was all about and somebody suggested it was a donation for the old fellow busking and putting on a show for all bowlers on the green.

In the end we all had a good laugh at his expense which was very well taken in the spirit of the occasion. Well done to the Orange!!

Did you know that Bowls Australia has changed their policy on the use of bowlers arms? Their revised Artificial Devices Policy, has removed the stipulation that players need to have received approval from their State Association to use a bowlers arm, and also removes the need for a medical certificate to use a bowlers arm.

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Dear Sir In your March 2018 Magazine you mentioned a member’s “urinary tract infection”! In my opinion you should not include information of this nature as ailments are private matters – Anon Dear Anon Thank you for your letter. You may be interested to know that permission was sought from this member prior to our publishing details of his problem. We have however taken a decision to no longer provide information on member’s ailments or problems.

Members can in future suffer in private.

It was however interesting that just after we received your letter, the West Australian reported that a certain footy player was suffering from a “twisted testicle”! Did they get his permission?

– Your Editor 10

Hi Neville and Denise, I’ve just finished reading your March 2018 newsletter.

I intended to watch the Sunday 5.00 pm news, but as it is now 5.45 pm will content myself in watching the 6.00 pm news.

Such an excellent read as always. Thanks to you both.

– Philip Oldershaw

Dear Editor Neville I would like to take this opportunity to THANK our members, family and friends, who contacted me personally, by phone, cards etc. to offer their congratulations to me, upon receiving Life Membership from the Sorrento Bowling Club. Other Club members from Metro and Country added to my enjoyment over the past few weeks, including my dear mate Tony Pilgrim in Bali.

Best wishes, – Graeme Whitehorn

To whom it may concern We are writing to you to express our sincere appreciation for your hospitality regarding the engagement party we hosted at your venue for the Stephen Cameron families on Saturday night 30 March 2019. A special thank you to Ian the bar manager and his staff for the professional manner he managed the function, juggling several separate functions simultaneously. From what our guests mentioned we think it was a great promotional opportunity for future functions at your venue. We give you and your venue a 5 star rating. Thanks Regards – Scott and Tracy Cameron.

Thank you Tracy and Scott. Your lovely words make it all worth while. It was great to host such a wonderful group of people. I really did enjoy the night myself and it always makes for a great night when you are also so thoughtful about everything on the night. Well done guys and you are always welcome back for a drink.

Cheers –Ian Lucas

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It is envisaged that the leniency will result in greater opportunity for persons with physical restrictions and impairments to continue playing bowls.

Did you know that Ian Lucas got a special mention, in the Governing Council’s minutes, for the excellent contribution he has made in the period when we did not have an Office Manager? His excellent contribution with administrative duties, in addition to his normal Duty Manager role, were noted. Mention was made of his commitment to our Club and his versatility and adaptability were invaluable traits.

Did you know that lawn bowls will enjoy increased television coverage in 2019, with Bowls Australia (BA) announcing an extension of its broadcast partnership with Fox Sports Australia and SBS? The Bowls Show, the Australian Open, the Bowls Premier League and the World Bowls Challenge will all be shown. The last event listed below will feature Australia v Rest of the World in an exciting ten-a-side format.

Key details: • The Bowls Show – Season 4: 20 weeks from 26 May to 6 October on Sundays at 3.00pm on SBS • Australian Open – Live on 13 and 14 June: 11.30am to 4.00pm on SBS and Fox Sports • Bowls Premier League (BPL10): Live from 12-15 November to – 6:00pm to 11:00pm AEDT on Fox Sports • World Bowls Challenge: Live from 29-30 November Did you hear that there is a bowling club (name withheld to avoid legal problems) that is in financial difficulty? Their Committee has been creative and in order to raise funds have arranged for someone to supply and cultivate marijuana plants on their behalf. They now have a distributor and are expecting an income of $400 per month. There is only one problem! No one has told the Club’s Chairman!

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Did you hear that there were four additional “Crab Award” winners in the last four games of the Men’s Pennant season? Winners were: • Dreads for winning the meat raffle when his team had been beaten 8-0 and then smiling!

• Barry Stewart for holding up the game on two occasions to go to the toilet!

• Frank Tyson for looking like a crab and then bowling a wrong bias!

• Craig Grisbrook for congratulating everyone for a 7-1 win when in fact it was an 8-0 win and then bragging about it!

– Denise and Neville Odell Bowls is such a funny game, You bowl down at the “Jack”, And as you watch it wander down – You wish you had it “Back!”

– Skew Wiff Watt

I dreamt I bowled a winning drive, With actions wild galore, And when I woke at 3am, My wife was on the floor.

– Skew Wiff Watt

2018/19 Men’s Pennant Report Results At the beginning of the season the Selectors set the following goals: • To retain Saturday Premier Division • To have at least one of 2nd Division teams on Saturday achieve promotion and to achieve four other promotions Saturday Alas, we did not achieve our objectives. Our Premier Division despite winning eight games, and a positive shot differential, finished ninth and was relegated. Two 2nd Division teams participated in finals but neither achieved promotion. Pennants 4 Gold won the Pennant and achieved promotion.

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4 Gold – Saturday Get Promotion

Dan Greig, Mike McGeehan, Glenn McCarthy, Evan Cosh, Roger Palmer, Mason Gunson, Barry Taylor, Alan Davis, Joe Mola, Des Byrne, John Sturk, Tiger Hogan, Erino Mosconi, Bob Steven, Rob Tozer, and Roland Hill 4 Gold team got promotion to 3rd Division and won the Pennant with a comfortable 87-66 victory over Armadale. It was a very good year for 4 Gold who lost just two games, Rob Tozer, Mason Gunson, Tiger Hogan and Evan Cosh had 13 wins from 15 matches plus a further two wins in the finals.

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Midweek On a positive note 2 Blue won the Pennant and along with “3 Gold 2” achieved promotion.

Next season We will be entitled to the following teams: • Midweek: Premier, two teams in 1 Blue, and one each in 2 Gold and 2 Blue, 3 Gold and Blue, 4 and 5 Gold • Saturday: 1 White, three teams in 2nd Division, two teams in 3rd Division and two teams in 5th. Our Club will again be able to enter teams in 6th Division if there is the demand Awards Night • “Bowler of the Year”: Men: Bruce Eagles • “Bowler of the Year”: Women: Nerrida Porteous • “Pennant Player of the Year”: This was awarded jointly to Trevor Orton, Steve Draper and Steve Mortimer • Rink of the Year: Lead – Neville Odell, Second – Tiger Hogan, Third – Ross Cunningham and Skipper – Brian Collins • Brownlow Bowlers of the Year: Winner: Shane Loftus, Runner up: Bruce Eagles and third: Geoff Murray • Midweek Player of the Year: Awarded jointly to Alan Anderson and Jim Welch • Saturday Player of the Year: Peter Robson, Erino Mosconi and Rob Tozer Appreciation: • Brad’s Barber Shop for again sponsoring the Pots this season • Our lovely ladies who kindly made our sandwiches on Thursdays • Our Croquet ladies who co-ordinated the afternoon teas on Saturday • My fellow selectors Derry Ellis, Brian Self, Ron Burroughs, Chris Lander and Tim Murray for the time and effort they have put in this season – Rob Tozer.

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3 Gold – Thursday Promoted to 2nd Division

This picture was taken at Roleystone by Kevin Kennedy (using his delayed action) in the playoff for the Pennant. Unfortunately, they lost but had a good season, and ended up top of the ladder and therefore got automatic promotion to 2nd Division.

Back: Rick Hillier, John Farmer, Dan Greig, Rob Tozer, Ian Wittber and Evan Cosh Front: Kevin Kennedy, Ken Giles, Mike McGeehan, Colin Campbell, Barry Jones and Bob Steven

3 Blue – Thursday Come Second Our 3 Blue team did well to come second on the ladder.

In the promotional play offs they won their first game against Mt Lawley but unfortunately lost their second game against Yokine by three shots Back: Alan Davis, Herbie Eisenmann, Phil Oldershaw.

Middle: Mike Hodge, Frank Lilley, Tony Sabatino, John Collishaw Front: Tiger Hogan, Keith Cooper, Keith Tompkins, Ian Marshall and Pat Dichiera 16

2 Blue – Thursday Promoted to I Blue 2 Blue claimed the 2nd Division Pennant with a one shot victory over a DalkeithNedlands in the Grand final.

Sorrento won on two rinks with Trevor Orton’s team getting home by six shots and Alan Anderson’s team by three shots. Sorrento will progress to 1st Division Blue.

Back: Steve Mortimer, Brian Collins, Neville Odell, Brian Self, Alan Anderson, Steve Draper, Peter Crow, Lindsay Baker, Peter Robson, Jim Ironside Front: Bob Jeffs and Trevor Orton (Missing from photo: Jimmy Welch)

5 Gold – Thursday Finish Third

This team performed very well through the season. Their position on the ladder was as high as first and as low as fifth. In the first semi final they played North Beach and had a very good win. However in the final against Quinn's they lost except for Alan Gallagher’s team who had a solid win. Generally most of our team would be happy to finish third after a solid season.

Back: Peter McIntosh, Steve Bomford, Alan Gallagher, Tony Friedlieb, Middle: Dick Currie, Darryl Rowland, Jim Portwood, Frank Bomford Front: Alan Taylor, Trevor Beckwith, Bill Jones and Derry Ellis 17

2018/19 Women’s Pennant Report

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irstly I’m sure that all our ladies will join with me in wishing our Chairperson Jan a rapid return to fitness following a fall which necessitated surgery for a fractured wrist. She also sustained a colourful array of bruises currently concealed by her shocking pink plaster protection!! Best wishes for a speedy and problem free recovery Jan, and many thanks for your support and hard work throughout the year The ladies can be justifiably proud of their commitment and efforts this season which resulted in the Club retaining all pennant divisions on both Saturday (2) and Tuesday(4). Final positions are outlined below: Saturday • 1 Red (ended in 2nd Position) They held first position for 8 of the 14 week season but were beaten by Leeming in the semi-final so missed out on playing for a 3rd consecutive flag • 2 Orange (ended in 5th position) A great effort in the final few games to elevate themselves from 8th to 5th position thereby avoiding possible relegation to 3rd Division next season Tuesday Premier (ended in 8th position). After a nail biting season the team were able to hold on to Premier avoiding relegation.

• 1 Green North (ended in 4th position).They contested the play offs and reached the semi finals • 2 Blue (ended in 2nd position). They had an excellent season winning 14 of 18 games and just missed out on promotion as only the top team earns promotion in this Division • 3 Blue (ended in 5th position). They sat in 4th position for several weeks but were beaten by one point in the final game to finish the season in 5th position 18

Presentation Evening “Premier Division Bowler of the Year” Shane Loftus receiving his award from John Godfrey and John Abercrombie

“Brownlow Bowler of the Year” Winner: Shane Loftus, Runner up: Bruce Eagles Third: Geoff Murray

“Pennant Player of the Year for 2018/19” This was awarded jointly to Trevor Orton, Steve Draper and Steve Mortimer This is the first time “Pennant Player of the Year” has been shared in the four years it has been awarded. Steve, Steve and Trevor played together in all 36 games in the combined Thursday and Saturday Pennant season, and scored 26 wins and 10 losses. They also won all three finals they contested at season-end. Brian Clausen, Lindsay Baker, Egon Mikolajczyk and Peter Robson also played in their rink during the year. In total they were 172 shots up over the two competitions, helping “Trevor” finish the season as leading Skipper in 2 Blue 19on Thursday and runner-up Skipper on Saturday in 2 Gold.

Umpires Many thanks to our male counterparts who volunteered to undertake umpiring duties on several ladies pennant days. The gesture was much appreciated.

Pot Winners • 5 February: • 12 February: • 19 February: • 26 February: • 5 March: • 12 March:

C Ford, L Brickell, H Ironside and M Cressey S Carter, H Ironside, M Cressey and L Glew V King, D Odell, F Bracknell and K Harris V King, D Odell, F Bracknell and K Harris V King, D Odell, F Bracknell and K Harris S Palmer, P Torre, L Young and M Torre

Well done Team King for three wins in a row. No mean feat! Thank you Barry Bradshaw for your continued sponsorship of the Pots for the Ladies Tuesday Pennants. Well done ladies. Enjoy your break and stay well – Anne Lilley(for Jan Cook)

Men’s Match Committee Report Police at Sorrento

The annual match between the Police Bowling Club and Sorrento was held in February.

24 bowlers represented each Club in a match held on a warm and balmy evening.

Victory once again went to the Police, winning four of the six matches with the aggregate score 113-78.

Best of the Sorrento teams was Tony Sabatino’s rink with Frank Bomford, 20

Jan Paniperis and Ken Giles winning by 11. Trevor Orton’s rink with Neville Odell, Ray Stapledon and Lee Leach also recorded a win, scoring 14 shots in the last 5 ends to win by 9 was the only other Sorrento winner. A couple of expatriate Sorrento bowlers were also in the best-performed Police team; Steve Benn (now North Beach) and Wayne Olive (Kalamunda), and they were joined by John Hodges (Manning) and Rob Bellis (Leeming). Several first division bowlers in the Police side recorded big wins, so perhaps a stronger Sorrento team needs to be selected next year.

The “Young Ones” Win Men’s Fours The final of the Men’s Fours Championship was played in February in warm and breezy conditions. The “Young Ones” viz. Peter “Morgs” Morgan, Colin “Jacko” Jasper (perhaps a not-so-young one), Alan “Dreads” Walton and Murray Winners “Beaker” Hulbert comfortably accounted for Ray Green, Brian Kiely, Brian Clausen and Bruce Eagles 23-14 in the final.

Bruce’s team started well and led 6-0 after three ends, but a two and a six in quick succession saw Murray’s side hit the Runners Up front. After that, great leading from Peter, solid follow-up from Colin and Alan and some fine finishing bowls from Murray saw them establish too big a hill for Ray, Brian, Brian and Bruce to climb. This is 21

the third successive year that Bruce’s rink has reached the final, only to fall at the final hurdle.

Congratulations to all, particularly the winners, but also to losing semi-finalists Herbie Eisenmann, Keith Cooper, Ken Giles and Tony Sabatino who were beaten 14-20 by the Eagles combination, and to Rob Tozer, Chris Lander (substituting for Ray Stapledon), Warren Elliott and Ross Cunningham who lost 8-21 to the Hulbert team.

Father and Son

A great roll-up of 22 teams of Fathers and Sons turned out for our annual match on Friday 8th February. (Actually there was one father and daughter combination allowed, and next year the event will be re-named “Dads and Kids”). The weather was perfect following a hot day, and the greens ran well.

The Jack Attack format was played, with two sets of 5 ends and a tiebreaker end when necessary, plus Power-play ends adding to the format’s variables. The big winner was Phil (Spider) Webb and his son Jay, who were the only pair to win all four sets. Barry Bradshaw and Greg Boyd – who filled in due to a late withdrawal – finishing second with 3 ½ wins. I look forward to seeing more dads, kids, grandparents, grand-kids etc.. next year.

Men’s Singles Peter Morgan won the Men’s Singles Championship for 2018-2019. He defeated Brian Collins in a high-quality final held in beautiful weather on Sunday 24 March. Peter joined Sorrento last year from the Wanneroo Bowling Club. Brian led early against an apparently nervous Peter, but a three to Peter on the 7th end saw him draw level. Peter won the next five ends and led 12-6 before Brian fought back, with a maximum four on the 15th end leaving him only one shot down. But Peter then strung 22

together a sequence of another five ends to establish a 22-12 lead, and put him within sight of the 25 shots needed to win. But Brian was not done with yet, and the final six ends of the match were all single shots before Peter prevailed 25-17. Congratulations to Peter, who was supported by his family and a small crowd of appreciative spectators.

The semi-finals played earlier in the day resulted in defeats to Murray Hulbert (who some cynically said lost so that he could attend his beloved North Melbourne playing the opening AFL match of the season) by Brian 25-16, and a narrowest possible come-from-behind win by Peter over Bryce Gunson 25-24.

Peter had to win the last four ends to snatch victory over Bryce.

Congratulations again to Peter and Brian, and to all 51 bowlers who participated in this event.

Men’s Novice Cool and showery conditions, and consequently slow greens, awaited the seven bowlers who entered this year’s Men’s Novice Championship. Two sections were drawn, with the winner of each proceeding to the final. One section was won by Brad Marshall, and the other by Steve Bomford. Those to miss out were Trevor Hughes, Russell Fishwick, Les Burnett, John Jackson and Kevin McKersey. In the final, occasional showers interrupted play, and ensured that the small group of onlookers was entertained for almost two hours. Throughout the 21-Up final, the margin between Brad and Steve was close, with Brad establishing the greatest margin between the 23

players of four shots; 19-12 after 17 ends. But that margin was the trigger for Steve to reel off three consecutive ends, including a maximum four shots on the 18th end to draw level at 19-19 after 20 ends. In what proved to be the final end, Steve played two draw shots close that Brad could not disturb and ran out the 21-19 winner. Congratulations Steve, and to all who played.

Anzac Day “Two-Up� Drawn Pairs A bumper field of 60 bowlers turned out in magnificent weather for the event this year. Players were ranked in two pools, and were drawn to form a pair. Two matches of 12 ends of 2-4-2 bowls were played, with points awarded for a win, for ends where more than two shots were achieved, with bonus point for scores of 3 or above on an end.

Overall winners were Moira Dean and Ron Rogers with 23 points.

Second were Peter Balcombe and Mike McGeehan with 20 points. Third place was determined by a count back with Lee Leach and Monique Kopec on 18 points and 17 ends edging out Keith Tompkins and Terry Parker 18 and 14 ends. There was some confusion with the score cards at the end, with missing names, players initials, unidentified teams and scores that did not agree causing some delay in determining the results.

Nevertheless all agreed that the day was a great success.

Twilight Bowls The 2018-2019 season of twilight bowls wrapped in mid April. The series runs from November to Easter each year and is played over 14 ends of 2-4-2 from 4:30pm each Wednesday. An average of 48 bowlers took part each week this season. A total of 22 weeks comprised this season, with only Trevor Hughes and Neville Odell of the 155 different bowlers who took part during the season, playing on every available Wednesday.

Sponsorship by BARNES WEALTH MANAGEMENT of $40 per week boosted the prize money pool, and proved lucrative for several pairs during the season. Neville Odell, Frank Tyson, Peter Morgan, Kerry 24

Morgan and Brian Saul taking out the weekly first place on multiple occasions. A season-long competition which captures the best 10 cards submitted saw Brian Saul victorious. In all, 278 matches were played and over $6,000 in green fees collected, as well as over $5,000 distributed in prize money. Twilight Bowls recommences on Wednesday, 6 November 2019.

TREVORS CARPETS Men’s Handicap Fours 48 men in 12 teams competed for the generous prize money offered by Ray Green from TREVORS CARPETS at the end of April. The weather was beautiful and the green running at around 15 seconds, so a great day’s bowling was in prospect. Three 15 end matches were played, as well as some novelty awards for “touchers” and “spiders”. Every match winner received a small payout, and a single bowl “bowl-off” was even required to separate the winners in one match. No team went home without some prize money. Thanks go to Ray Green – who unfortunately was unable to attend due to on-going back pain – and to all who helped with the running of the day, as well as the sausage sizzle at the end.

Winners were: • Touchers Egon Mikolajczyk, Kevin Coffey and Bob Mulroy • Spiders Denis Croker and Jim Welch • Round 1 Pat Dichiera, Ken Giles, Steve Draper and Trevor Orton • Round 2 Evan Cosh, Tony Bourne, Frank Tyson and Chris Lander • Round 3 Brian Saul, Kevin Coffey, Jim Welch and Paul Kain (+9) • Fourth Herbie Eisenmann, Ian Wittber, Colin Campbell and

Keith Tompkins (2 wins +8) • Third Bob Steven, Danny Condon, Spider Webb and Peter

Balcombe (2 wins +30) • Second John Abercrombie, Allan Gallagher, Mike Carrigy and

Richard Bone (2 ½ wins +17) • First Steve Mortimer, Alan Davis, Brian Kiley and Warren

Elliott (3 wins + 15) • N.A.B.A Ron Taylor, Denis Croker, John Godfrey and Peter Snow 25

– Trevor Orton

Women’s Match Committee Report Women’s Fours Championship In January eight teams took part in the event which was played in two sections We gave the runners up in each section a chance to go on and compete in the knock-out games as it seemed a fair way to keep the event worthy of a proper winner considering the small number of entries.

Everyone enjoyed their day on the green the weather was good and as usual some excellent bowling from the women competing to go through to the knock-out games.

Winners in section one were Nerrida Porteous, Jan Cook, Sharon Eggers, and Liz Marshall with runners up Kaye Martin, Monique Kopec, Larraine Brickell and Helen Ironside. Winners of section two were Barbara Lorencs, Pauline Marsden, Robyn Woodward, and Jan Paniperis with runners up Robyn Van Mosseveld, Shelley Jeffs, Charmain Harris and Cheryl Greig.

The following week we took to the green again to play our knock-out games with the Porteous team playing the Van Mosseveld team and the Lorencs team playing the Martin team. The day started with rain but it did not hinder the play and eventually we had some sunshine albeit a cold and windy morning.

Nerrida Porteous, Jan Cook, Sharon Eggers, and Liz Marshall went down on the first two rounds to Robyn Van Mosseveld, Shelley Jeffs, Charmain Harris and Cheryl Greig. Both teams delivered some excellent bowls and were neck and neck up until the 11th end when team Porteous took over the game and the efforts of Van Mosseveld and team could not seem to catch up with shots against them being 20 to 12 defeat against Porteous.

Barbara Lorencs, Pauline Marsden, Robyn Woodward, and Jan Paniperis lost the first end to Kaye Martin, Monique Kopec, Larraine Brickell, 26

and Helen Ironside. A tremendous effort from Martin’s team to try and evade defeat by Lorencs, with equal ends from both teams, but multiple shots up on their ends put Lorencs and team through to win by 19 shots to 11.

Winners

Runners-up

Final contenders the Porteous team against the Lorencs team. This was a very close game indeed, all players putting their best efforts into play, considering the weather conditions being unfavourable with some rain, wind and cold.

The final score being 11 shots up for team Porteous and 10 shots up for team Lorencs. Congratulations to the winning team and to our runners up.

Women’s Championship Singles Early in February we held this event. Unfortunately only 18 entrants took part out. The format was sectional play of 21 shots up and 25 shots up for the final. Our greens and the weather were perfect for our first day, six sections of three players, enjoyed their time on the green. All went well and at the end of the first day we saw six winners ready to progress to the knock-out games.

We had to wait three weeks to continue because of State Games, so our Knock-out and Finals were held late February. Liz Marshal, Charmain Harris, Nerrida Porteous, and Wendy Saul started off the day with an alignment round. The winners of this round went through to the semi-finals to meet up with Pauline Bourne and Shelley Jeffs who had 27

progressed through from the sectional play.

We had excellent bowls to demonstrate a tough game between Liz and Charmain, who were neck and neck most of the way until Liz took the game with 22 shots up to Charmain’s 19, very close indeed. Nerrida got off to a great start against Wendy, and seemed to dominate the game all the way through with a score of 21 shots to Nerrida and 8 to Wendy.

These wins took Liz Marshall and Nerrida Porteous through to play against each other in the semi-finals along with Pauline Bourne and Shelley Jeffs.

In the semi-finals all players delivered “competition” bowls with some excellent play with Nerrida Porteous and Pauline Bourne going through to the finals. At the start Nerrida took the lead but it did not take long for Pauline to get back on track showing the spectators her usual display of delivering some perfect bowls. It was an enjoyable afternoon watching them compete for the Singles Championship, and this year Pauline Bourne took out the cup. Congratulations to both players.

Ladies Veterans Singles In March twelve of our ladies took to the greens to play in our yearly event for the Veteran Singles Championship Shield. The format was sectional play and it was lovely to have ladies from all divisions participating. We also had one of our members who only plays on social days taking part. This event generated some close contests proving that, on the day, it is irrelevant as which division a bowler is in. The first player in each section went through to the knockout games. Our four sectional winners were Carmel Hyde to play Pauline Marsden and Monique Kopec to play Barbara Lorencs. Entertaining 28

bowls, with spectators there to support and acknowledge every good bowl, saw Pauline Marsden defeat Carmel Hyde, and Barbara Lorencs defeat Monique Kopec.

The final game was amazing with both ladies playing some excellent bowls. Pauline started off the game winning the first end, but Barbara took the next five ends to push ahead for a short while. Pauline won the next four ends bringing the score to 8 shots all. After the 12th end Barbara took control of the game, only allowing Pauline to take another couple of shots before soaring ahead to 21 shots up to win the Shield. I would like to thank Cheryl Greig, Charmain Harris, Shelley Jeffs, and Wendy Saul who helped out by being markers for this event.

Women’s Handicap Triples On 10 April we held our Annual Handicap Triples with 30 of our lady bowlers from all of our divisions taking to the greens for the competition. It is always a pleasure to play with different people from other divisions. We have a points system in place and all teams are equal. The weather was excellent, and our greens were running beautifully. Everyone enjoyed their day, we had one game in the morning and one in the afternoon.

• Winners: • Second: • Third: • Fourth: 29

Pauline Bourne, Jan Siney and Helen Ironside Shelley Jeffs, Denise Odell and Glen Larcombe Sharon Eggers, Fran Bracknell and Carole Ford Nerrida Porteous, Cheryl Greig and Larraine Brickell

We would like to say thank you to our Sponsor Barbaro Butchers and all who took part in the event. We all enjoyed our day, and will look forward to doing it all again next season.

Mixed Veterans Pairs At the end of April we took to the greens for the last Club Championship on our Calendar. 32 players, all of whom were 70 years and over participated. We enjoyed a beautiful day with play consisting of two games of 15 ends. An enjoyable day was had by all.

Winners were: • 3rd prize: Stan Van Mosseveld and Nerrida Porteous who finished on 4 points and 15 shots up • Runners up: John Sturk (Jaffa) and Jenny Bartlett with 4 points and 19 shots up • Winners: Barbara and Juris Lorencs with 4 points for the two wins and a total of 21 shots up Congratulations to all of our winners, and a big thank you to all of the members who took part in the competition, we will look forward to seeing you all again on the greens next season – Lee Leach

Oh To Be 12 Again...

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man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday. ‘I’d like to be twelve again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton Towers theme park. What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head 30

was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge Cola, and her favourite sweet – M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being twelve again?’

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. ‘I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!’ The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

– Thanks to Brian Lucas for this story

“Good” versus “Useless”

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ver the Pennant season your Editor, with the help of Brian Lucas and Trevor Orton, recorded some of the comments Skippers make about the usefulness, or not, of their team’s bowls. These are listed below and may come to the forefront when you think about describing one of your Skipper’s bowls: A Skipper may describe “Useful” bowls as follows: • “What a good bowl” • “What a brilliant bowl” • “What an outstanding bowl” • “What a sensational bowl” • “What a lucky bowl” 31

• “Thank you for two rippers” • “What a lovely bowl” • “What a clever bowl” • “What a wonderful bowl” • “What a perfect bowl” • “What a ideal bowl” • “What an awesome bowl” • “That was a game changer” • “What a great shot/bowl” • “What a fantastic bowl” • “What a terrific bowl” • “What a beautiful bowl” • “That was the bowl (or shot) of the day” • “That was a rock-solid bowl” • “What a marvellous bowl” • “That was a truly inspiring bowl” • “I’m loving this bowl” • “That was very nice bowl” • “What a player!”

• “I see it but I don’t believe it” • “A beautiful Robbo” • “That’s pure genius” • “I should have brought my camera” • “What a good covering bowl” • “What a superb bowl” • “What a terrific bowl” • “What a splendid bowl” • “You’ll have to teach me how to do that” “Absolutely”, “Bloody” or both can be added to all the above as per: “That was an absolutely bloody brilliant bowl” A Skipper trying to be polite Sometimes when a Skipper is trying to be polite (or paying a backhanded compliment) a bowls might be described as follows: 32

Ode to a Bowler

(By a Frustrated Skipper) Yoo! Hoo! Down there on the mat.

Yes! You! The bloke in white.

I asked you for a swinging bowl – Not one that’s out of sight.

Oh! I’m not one for whinging (As I try to make the play) But when I give directions My team just won’t obey.

My Leader uses deafness.

And says that he can’t hear.

And claims I didn’t tell him His bowl was nowhere near.

My Second then ignores me, When I ask him for a shot.

He likes to do his own thing, And seems to lose the plot.

By then the game is hopeless Four down and nothing near.

My Third is missing off the mat(He’s ducked in for a beer.)

Dear God! Please help this Skipper To winning days of gold.

And teach his wayward team-mates To do as they are told.

– “Skew Wiff” Watt 33

• “That was a good positional bowl” • “That was a good nuisance bowl” • “A good try” • “A good result” • “Good weight” (which means it’s a bit wide or narrow) • “Good line” (which means it’s a bit long or short) • “You never know – it might be useful out there” • “It looked good all the way” • “What a lovely effort” • “What a good bowl! Have you played this game before?”

• “ If you’ve got the legs it will be a good bowl” • “I didn’t see it that way” • “You don’t have to be dead to be stiff” • “You don’t have to be stiff to be dead” (both are in use) • “That’s a horse of another colour” • “ Well done – at least it’s behind the head” • “A bit skinny and a bit light but otherwise a good bowl” • “That will be a good blocker” • “Unbelievable” • “Wide and short – otherwise good” A Skipper describing “Useless” bowls • “A short bowl” • “You’re wide again” • “You’re heavy again” • “Don’t worry, you’ve got another one” • “You are the weakest link – Goodbye” • “That was a bad bowl” • “One good bowl in ten is not too bad” • “That was a no-good bowl” • “I don’t go that far on holidays” • “That was a useless sh.t- house of a bowl” • “A wrong bias” • “It’s alright – you’ve got another one” 34

“That was an absolutely bloody brilliant bowl” You’re too narrow, too heavy. too wide and now too short!”

“One good bowl in ten is not bad”

“Well done Skip – that was the bowl of the day”

“That was an absolutely bloody brilliant bowl” 35

“You are the weakest link – Goodbye

• “It’s in the ditch” • “It’s on the rink, at least” • “That’s where elephants go to die” • “That’s an original bowl” • “That’s a bit of a mystery bowl” • “That bowl was crude , rude and unattractive” • “That one made my sphincter close up” • “Stupid man” “Absolutely”, “Bloody” or both can also be added to all the above And for ambivalence: • “Words escape me” • “One in – one out” • “That bowl’s hard to describe” • “Well.........?”

And remember Professor Mehrabian’s now famous rule that only 7% of a message comes from the words used. 55% is made up of body language and 38% the tone of voice. Something for all of us to think about.

My ‘Leader’ bowls with great finesse, His actions are so ‘Pretty’, The only problem seems to be, He’s nowhere near the “Kitty”.

– Skew Wiff Watt

The most depressing verbal comment heard on the green was: “Sorry I wasn’t looking – what happened?”

– Neville Odell

Country Week

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nce again Country Week has come and gone. Four days of hosting a bloody great group of country fellas from the South to the North and many towns in between. It has been an absolute honour. The guys 36

loved our Club, the greens, the food, the service and the Sorrento atmosphere. A massive thank you to all of our legend volunteers. You make our Club great. We look forward to seeing all the country legends next year! Our volunteers were Graeme May, Trish and Glenn McCarthy, Warren and Terry Smith, Susta, Ron Taylor, Rob Tozer, Sue Mortimer and a big shout out to Dion Smith who went above and beyond with his efforts. We had the cool room die because of the heat and we improvised and continued on to make it a memorable day for our visitors. They loved our Club!

– Ian Lucas

Umpire’s Corner

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s in all sports a good umpire is one that is not noticed. However in this case one of our umpires, Gavan Ebsworth, deserves special notice for his achievements in becoming Sorrento’s first World Bowls accredited International Technical Officer (International Umpire).

Bowls Australia has three levels of official and umpire accreditation Marker, Measure and National Umpire, which once achieved, last four years. These accreditations are skill based and requires specific competencies. Officials who are accredited through the National Officiating Accreditation Scheme (NOAS) are recognised by Bowls Australia (BA), and the Australian Sport Commission (ASC). The final step in the Officiating pathway for an umpire is the International Technical Officer (ITO) which requires World Bowls accreditation. The ITO accreditation is designed for those already accredited as National Umpires who wish to umpire at national and international events and on TV at events such as the Australian Open, Commonwealth Games, and other major events.

Congratulations and well done Gavan.

-– Jim Ironside

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Club Development Plans On Hold s the proposal to have an undercover bowls facility dead or simply deferred for a decade or so? It’s hard to say.

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In April a meeting was held with Mayor Albert Jacob, Counsellor Russ Fishwick and three City of Joondalup officers. The purpose was to discuss the Club’s strategic plan; future building developments; to gather information on the City’s vision for the Sorrento Bowling Club; and to seek feedback on the Club’s performance. The meeting also provided the opportunity to discuss the proposed undercover bowls facility on E-Green.

After a lengthy discussion it became apparent that: • The previous master plan for the Percy Doyle Reserve which commenced around 2007 and scrapped in 2015 because of cost blow outs and changes to government priorities, is to be re-enacted. A new feasibility study is planned for 2028, with new building development envisaged in the mid-2030s • Interim future developments on the Percy Doyle Reserve face major challenges. Built on an old limestone quarry and with ad-hoc and piecemeal infrastructure provided over the past forty years, governments are reluctant to provide new utility services such as high-pressure water and deep sewerage • Buildings exceeding 500 square metres require fire hydrants that access high-pressure water systems. These services will not be made available until the Percy Doyle Reserve Master Plan has been written and agreed • The absence of these utility services means that no future enclosed building extensions for Sorrento of any size will be approved prior to the completion of master planning • In addition, a project of the magnitude of the proposed undercover bowls facility would not be supported prior to the completion of the City’s five-year capital works program, taking it into the master planning time frame So not good news for Sorrento. The Club’s building development was suspended between 2010 and 2015 awaiting the outcome of the then master plan for Percy Doyle Reserve. Now we find ourselves in a sim39

ilar position, with no guarantee that the new master planning outcome will be any different, and again deemed too expensive and status quo resumed.

On the positive side: • The City regards Sorrento’s performance among the top 5% of its clubs • The Club’s western extension is proceeding, with completion expected in July • A further extension to the eastern end veranda, near the BBQ area, could be favourably considered because it will not be an enclosed space. Expansion of the boundary surrounding E-Green is possible to allow for a larger green and grant funding for the installation of synthetic greens could gain the support of the City Wayne Gray is scoping a proposal to extend the eastern veranda and will liaise with the City for planning approval. Grant funding options will be considered. Synthetic green options and additional external toilets will also be considered within the project’s scope.

While overall the news is very disappointing, at least the Club now knows where it stands and what dreams can’t be fulfilled. Work on updating the Club’s strategic plan, which is now better informed, is underway.

Member input into the Plan will be most welcomed. We wish to thank the City of Joondalup for making their time available to meet with Club representatives and for their candour during our discussions.

We acknowledge that long-term planning is an imperative for the Percy Doyle Reserve and scarce financial resources need to be targeted to achieve long-term objectives. But we also recognise that our Club cannot lie dormant for fifteen years. The interim needs of our members who are predominantly Joondalup residents, particularly our older members, need to be carefully considered and a balance struck between present and future needs.

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We look forward to continuing to work in partnership with City of Joondalup and our South and South-West Ward counsellors to ensure that the Club and its members receive the consideration that they deserve.

– Brian Lucas

Another “Did you hear”?

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pparently, Craig Grisbrook is offering a $50 reward for information that leads to the apprehension, conviction and incarceration of two juveniles who stole one of his lawn bowls. The theft happened in the stealth of the early evening.

Craig and Dreds were involved in an intoxicating game of corner to corner, allowing these two offenders to conspire to remove one of Craig’s bowls from the ditch and presumably ditch it.

Craig likened the crime to cutting off a pig’s hind leg to be used for a scrumptious roast and then expecting the poor animal to just carry on with its remaining three legs (or in this case their remaining three bowls).

But seriously, it is expected that exhibit A (the bowl) will have been jettisoned somewhere in proximity of the Club. So please keep an eye out for it. Craig is also seeking partners for a game of three-bowl triples or pairs.

– Brian Lucas

A tribute to Nelly Heard

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his lady was a “willow the wisp” who wore many caps during her bowling career. Over many years as a bowler she served on various committees. Our yearly trip to Kalgoorlie on the Prospector to play in the carnival, with Nelly as our Skip, was filled with so much fun and 42

laughter. Apart from the bowls we joined the locals for bingo where dear Nelly disagreed with their rules, and when I said “SHUSH Nelly”, she said out loud – I don’t give two knobs of goats! The locals took it in good spirit which caused much laughter all round.

On our Friday Gala Days, we visited many different bowling clubs, where everyone knew and loved her. Her first stop was to buy books for Graham, her beloved husband, whom she referred to as ‘hairy legs’.

Everywhere we went it became my job to look after Nelly’s handbag.

She was always so busy chatting to all and sundry that she never could remember where she left it! I treasure the years we had together and loved our friendship. She lived for those she loved and those she loved remember – Marie Smart

Our Club’s Website

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orrento’s state-of-the-art website was launched in December.

Developed by advertising and marketing firm Lateral Aspect, our new website is designed to: • Keep members informed about the comings and goings in our Club • Interface with our various sporting endeavours • Lift our Club’s profile and expose among the local community • Provide information for those seeking to hire a facility for barefoot bowls, wakes, parties etc.

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A quick tour around our website will reveal the following.

Do you know who are on your Governing Council and their areas of responsibility? You will be able to check out how the Club is governed, what the dress code is and if you are a new or prospective member to have a look at the Club Information booklet. If you wish to know, click on this link: www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au/about-us/ You may want to try our Café Sorrento for a meal or snack on a Friday evening with family and friends and a chance to try you luck at Chase the Joker or win a meat voucher. Maybe keep up-to-date with upcoming events or just check out the fixtures for the rest of the season. Check out what’s happening at: www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au/whats-on/ Want more information on Bowls, Darts or Croquet just follow this link and click on Sport and make your selection. For bowlers further selection can be made at. www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au/ Do you play Pennant bowls or want further information on playing Pennant bowls especially if you are a new member to the club. Who do you contact? Contact details for Men and Women bowlers can be found here. www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au/sport/bowls/pennants/ Having a function Sorrento Bowling Club offers a great location and venue for functions with a function room that can accommodate up to 120 people seated for a meal and more if seating is limited. Sorrento Bowling Club is ideal for your birthday party, anniversary, or any celebration. Easy as following this link and completing the online form for further information or for more information. www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au/function-hire/ How about reading the current Club Quarterly News Magazine or E-newsletter on our website. Maybe you missed out on a previous issue that included your photo – well you still can by following this link: www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au/newsletters/ 44

Running a large Club is a very expensive undertaking and one that would not be possible without support from our Sponsorship Partners. We urge all members to support our Partners. To find out who our Sponsorship Partners are and what services they provide. Check them out here: www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au/sponsorship-partners/ All this and more within your Sorrento Bowling Club Website. To keep up to date with the latest news and information about your Club, make sure you visit our website at: www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au.

– Denis Croker

Our Volunteers Thank You Evening

Our President John Abercrombie opened the evening with the following comments: “Tonight, is a night when we acknowledge the efforts of our volunteers. I’ve said this many times but I’ll say it again – we are the envy of all Clubs when it comes to the numbers of volunteers we have available to help wherever required.

I acknowledge our volunteers in the following areas: Match, Selection, Croquet, Sponsorship, Club captains, Greens, Coaching, Events, Facebook, Function Hire, Operational health and safety, Membership, Welfare, Newsletters and our Website I also acknowledge the volunteers assisting with the Bar, Chase the Joker, Raffles, BBQ, Community bowls, Gate keeping, Pennant sandwich makers, Functions that include bowls, Barefoot bowls social events, Thumbs 45

Up Club, Social bowls – Friday and Sunday, Books Organiser, Window Cleaners, Building and Maintenance, Photography and Odd Jobs etc.

Tonight, is a night where we acknowledge the efforts of all our volunteers.

We are the envy of all clubs when it comes to the number of volunteers we have in our Club. I would personally like to acknowledge Ken Giles for his efforts in organising our volunteers.

We always need to remember that the three most important things in our Club are our Greens, our Bar and our Volunteers. Finally, we may hold different positions with different titles, but we all want the same thing i.e. to make the Sorrento Bowling Club the best Club in WA.” – John Abercrombie

Message from Ken Giles At the Volunteers Evening, held at the end of March, our President welcomed everyone. The smile on his face indicated he was very happy with the efforts and support from all of our volunteers. I would like you all to know although I am the Volunteer Coordinator my job is usually made easier.

When I tap somebody on the shoulder or phone somebody to look after a group of people coming to our Club for a game, or for a task around the Club, the answer is always “Yes I can do”. I would like to thank every one of you for your ongoing support .

It was great to have the opportunity to thank our volunteers at the Volunteers Evening. We try to have one of these every year. We hope to see you all at the next one Thanks.

– Ken Giles 46

Tribute to Alan Victor Wood (1943-2019)

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hether his role was that of Skipper or Skip, Alan Wood was always on top of his game.

At the height of his career, Alan was a Master Mariner and until mid December last year was still a Skip in Sorrento’s Division 3 and 4 Gold squads. He collapsed on Boxing Day and was taken to hospital, where he remained until his untimely passing.

Alan was born and brought up in Gravesend in Kent and after leaving school at the age of 15, got a job as Cook Mate with Sun Tugs on the Thames. As he rose through the ranks, Alan worked on supply vessels servicing oil rigs in the North Sea and then for Jackson Marine in the Gulf out of Louisiana. He then took up studies and qualified as a Master Mariner after a stint with P&O out of Melbourne. After a managerial role with Tidewater out of Perth, Alan yearned to get back on the water and was appointed as Skipper on one of the company’s supply vessels on the North West Shelf.

I have known Alan since 1981 when we both arrived in Perth and moved into the brand-new suburb of North Shore in Kallaroo. With both of us coming from the back-streets of London, we naturally had much in common and struck up a friendship which lasted almost 40 years. We used to play golf regularly and it was on one such occasion when we were hacking our way around a golf course, with another mate Graham Archell, when they told me they had joined the Scarborough Bowling Club – and that I should join them.

The coach at the time was Ray Stapledon and, with his help, Alan and Graham took to bowls like ducks to water. Graham went on to play Division One Red for Victoria Park and a few years later Alan and I joined Sorrento where Alan quickly became a third division Skip.

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As was his nature, Alan showed great determination with his efforts culminating in him winning the highly-prestigious Sorrento male “Bowler of the Year” award five seasons ago.

The majority of bowlers finish their playing days without ever getting their name emblazoned in gold on their Club’s honour board – but not Alan Wood. During the 2014-15 season, the not backward in coming forward John Sturk, decided to assemble teams and have a crack at Sorrento’s Triples and Fours Championships. For the Triples “Jaffa” enlisted Pat Dichiera as his Lead and Alan Wood as his Third. In the Fours he decided to use Ken Vercoe as his Lead, Bill Long as his Second and, again, Alan Wood as his Third.

Right from the start Jaffa and his men were rank underdogs, one member laughingly declaring they were 1000-1 shots to win a title. But after defeating Mike Carrigy’s team in the final of the Fours Ken, Bill, Alan and John had the last chuckle. Sadly, only two members of that proud quartet are still with us today – Ken Vercoe having passed away not so long ago.

Alan Wood was a much respected and loved member of Sorrento, as evidenced by the large number of members, resplendent in their Club uniform, who attended his funeral. Farewell my friend and old sea dog.

– Ken Partridge

The Right Bowl

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eville has asked me to write down some of the things that both experienced and new bowlers should think about when selecting a set of bowls. I thank him for the opportunity to explain a little about what bowls to purchase.

Wide Choice There is a wide choice of bowls available. There are different biases, 48

eight sizes (from size 00 to size 6), four weights (medium, heavy and extra heavy), with at least six different types of grip, not to mention the vast array of colours. So, it is a difficult choice and important that you make the right decision. You need to consider: The Brand The brand of a bowl is the least important factor when buying a set of bowls, as all manufacturers produce good quality products which conform to standards laid down by World Bowls. Most established bowlers will have a personal preference which often comes about by trying out different bowls either by having a go with a mate’s bowls or trying out bowls at a local bowls retailer.

The Size Approximate Lawn Bowls Size and Weight Guide Size Diameter (mm)

00 116

0 118

1 121

2 122.5

3 124

4 125.5

5 127

Heavy Weight (grams)

1220

1280

1350

1400

1460

1520

1580

The size of your bowl is critical. Have you heard anyone say “you have to use the biggest bowl you can handle “or the smaller the bowl the easier it can be knocked around”? Both comments are very wrong. You need to use a bowl that you can hold easily and thereby be consistent in your delivery. I suggest that whatever size bowl you select it will get knocked around.

One way to get the right size, shape and weight is to wrap both of your hands around the widest running surface of a bowl so that your middle fingers touch at the bottom and if your thumbs touch at the top that is your size. If, when bowling, the bowl slips out of your hand or the bowl drops onto the green then you should move down in size until you are comfortably in control of your bowls.

Secondly, whilst holding the bowl, as if about to deliver, swing your arm 49

forward and backward. If you can maintain a firm and comfortably grip on the bowl then this is another tick in the box.

And finally, with your arm stretched out in front of you hold the bowl upside down. If after 30 seconds your arm begins to ache or shake, the bowl is probably too big for you. If, however, you maintain a firm and comfortable grip on the bowl, this will confirm that this is more than likely the correct size of bowl for you.

Remember you will be playing in all sorts of conditions e.g. extreme heat and perhaps wet conditions. You’ll also be playing for long periods of time so make sure the bowl is comfortable in your hand and that your thumb is not stressed?

The Grip There are various types of grip (deep dimple, shallow dimple, progrips, crescent grooves, vertical grooves and scoop grips) available depending on the manufacturer and model, so I would suggest trying out bowls with different grips before reaching a decision The Bias Bowls will be described as either narrow or wide running. As a rule of thumb the narrower the bias of the bowl, the more it will be affected by the wind. The narrower the bias means the longer the side of the bowl will be exposed to the wind. You would all have seen a bowl going down straight and then when it starts to slow it turns very sharply. This is because the wind is now affecting the smaller surface area on the running surface. And obviously more aerodynamic.

Things to consider when deciding what bowl will suit you are: • The position you play mostly in your team. Skippers and Thirds may need or prefer a bowl that can draw around the head especially if there are short bowls blocking their path 50

• The surface that you will be playing on most frequently. Some bowlers prefer a narrow running bowl when they are playing on a fast green and a wider running bowl when they are playing on a slow green Remember, if you are a new bowler, on a faster green the bowl needs to be rolled toward the jack in a wide curve which makes the bowl take 14 - 19 seconds to reach the jack. Conversely on slower greens the bowl should be rolled to take much less green (in a slight curve), which means the bowls take less time to reach the jack in say 10 to 14 seconds If you’re a new bowler and are a bit confused have a word with your Club Coach I hope this article can generate a little conversation around the Club. Thanks again to you all. Good bowls and better health.

– John Goddard

State Over Sixties Mixed Pairs

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n Monday 1 April, 84 teams went in to battle at Osborne Park, Sorrento and Bassendean. Sectional play depleted the field to 21 teams to with Sorrento’s Liz and Ian Marshall, Pauline Bourne and Chris Landers, Nerrida Porteous with Joe Rollnik (from Valley Bowls) still standing. At the end of day two just four teams remained. Irene Arndt (Safety Bay) and Gordon King (Osborne Park) – the winners in 2017, Leah Mias (Melville) and Sam Perica (Stirling) – the winners in 2018, Pauline and Chris (Sorrento), and Nerrida (Sorrento) and Joe (Valley).

Nerrida and Joe took on Leah and Sam and had a dream game. Nerrida’s precise drawing and Joe’s accurate driving were “pretty to watch” and, after 17 ends the game was declared with Nerrida and Joe convincing winners. In the other semi-final Pauline and Chris took on Irene and Gordon in a hard-fought battle. Pauline and Chris came from behind to tie the scores after 18 ends and an extra end had to be played to determine the winner.

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Pauline and Chris won through with three out of the four players in the “Grand Final” from Sorrento!

Nerrida and Joe were out of the blocks early with an 8/1 score after six ends. Then they went down a five and the whole game shifted.

Pauline’s steady drawing and Chris’ versatile shots steadily won end after end to win 19/14. Congratulations go to Pauline and Chris for a well fought competition. Well done to Nerrida and Joe for being runners up and well done SORRENTO for being so well represented. Thank you to Martin Yates from SRC WA who took this photo.

– Neville Odell

Our Silver Chain Day Once again our Social bowlers allocated a Friday afternoon’s bowls to raising funds for the Silver Chain organisation.

They managed to raise $260.

Well done! Winners were: Ken Partridge, John Jackson, Robin Newcombe and May McLiver and runners up were Annie Taylor, Ken Evans and Sue Delavael. A very enjoyable afternoon was had by all and congratulations to Eric Tompkins for winning the “Carine Tavern Voucher”. Eric advised me that he was going to use the voucher to take his wife to dinner at the Carine Tavern to celebrate their 64th Wedding Anniversary.

– Barbara Spence 52

A Stunning Senior Moment

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very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

“You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,” the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear; “The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon and the internet. We have mobile phones, nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, automated manufacturing, amazing technologies” and then pausing to take another drink of beer.

The senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said, “You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young – so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are YOU doing for the next generation?” The applause was resounding – I love senior citizens!

– Judith Skeet

State vs Presidents Team and Country vs. Metro

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ach year, as a “Curtain Raiser” for Women’s Country Week Bowls, two prestigious tournaments are held on the Sunday before the week begins – The Presidents 12 vs. the State Team – an 18 end game of three rink fours in the morning and the perpetual trophy for Country vs. Metro – a 21 end game of 12 rink fours in the afternoon.

The President of Bowls WA (Kerry Andersen) chose 12 of the best players to compete against 53

the newly announced State Team. This year a very notable guest player, Karen Murphy, was invited to join the team. Sorrento’s Pauline Bourne was thrilled to play alongside her in a team skippered by Lee Poletti.

Held on the undercover green at the new state of the art complex at Cockburn, the President’s Team were successful winning two rinks and the aggregate.

During the lunch break the State Team was formally introduced and wished success in their up-coming tournament over east. Then those women competing in Country Week for the first time were recognised and welcomed.

Pauline Bourne, Nerrida Porteous and Liz Marshall were invited to play in the afternoon competition for the Metro team – and they had success.

The results brought two draws and, while Metro only had one more rink win than Country, the aggregate was won by 20. The day brought a thoroughly good competition with a lot of camaraderie and some great bowling.

– Nerrida Porteous

Bowls WA Inter Region Round Robin Fours In April Wendy Saul, Charmain Harris, Liz Marshall, Coral Smith, Lee Leach and Kerry Hutchinson were chosen to represent our Club for the Northern Region. Players from Yanchep, Wanneroo, Scarborough, North Beach, Osborne Park and Warwick joined forces to compete against the South Coastal, Eastern and Southern Regions with each region fielding six teams of four players. Saturday was a perfect day for bowls with a very slick carpet and the covered greens at Warnbro allowed the compe54

tition to continue despite the rain on Sunday. While there were some very close games and some fantastic bowls played on what could only be described as “you need a bit more grass”, which could be heard echoed across the greens by skippers and players themselves, the combined efforts of the Northern Region players saw them become the overall winners for 2019.

After the final round two teams from each region were selected to play in the All Stars competition. This consisted of three games of 50 minutes on the bell. Each region played their heart out for the coveted title of All Stars Champions for 2019. Again, the conditions were ‘you need a bit more grass’ but again the efforts of the selected players in the Northern Region won the title by 1 point.

Four ladies from the Sorrento Club did the club proud by being selected to play in the All Stars, which was a top effort considering there were some extraordinarily good players in the Northern Region. Wendy Saul, Coral Smith, Lee Leach and Kerry Hutchinson, together with players from Scarborough, Wanneroo and Warwick were presented with a medal by Bowls WA. If you have never played in the Inter Region Round Robin, consider entering next year as there is great camaraderie amongst the players with friendships renewed and new friendships made with lots of laughs and fun.

– Kerry Hutchinson

Sponsors’ Report

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t is great to see that members are continuing to show support for our very good Sponsors. This is important as the income from them is substantial and important for the prosperity of our Club. The monthly “Lucky Sponsors” draw continues to show proof of our use of Sponsor’s products even though I am sure that not everyone places their receipts in for the draw.

We welcome aboard our latest sponsor; Nigel Sabatino, FRC Construction.

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The company has been in operation for 25 years and is involved with re-enforcing, formwork and construction in both the domestic and commercial areas.(This is Tony “The Terminator’s” son) so please welcome him if you see him at the club. Nigel’s sign has been placed over the bar area with the other illuminated signs so be sure to check it out.

– Barry Stewart

Croquet Newsletter April Fools Tournament (Croquet-west Calendar event) This annual event was hosted by Sorrento. Entries were received from Dunsborough, East Fremantle and Como Croquet Clubs. East Fremantle narrowly won the event, beating Di McGivern and Janet Fuller by only one hoop; followed by Trish Klemp and Thora Lay. These three teams each won three games, meaning that the places were decided only on a hoop count-back. Congratulations to all players. A very big thank you goes to everyone who volunteered to assist with the setting up, catering, washing up, and cleaning up. We cannot have a successful event without the help of these extra hands.

Members Out and About representing Sorrento In February, the “Daft Doubles” Competition was held at Cambridge Croquet Club. Glenda Laidler, Kerry Bomford, Trish Klemp and Thora Lay represented Sorrento but did not come home with the prizes this year. In March Di McGivern and Kerry Bomford represented Sorrento at the Bunbury Croquet Club. The standard of entries was very high resulting in Di and Kerry losing as many games as they won. Frank was, once again, our loyal “cheer squad” and excellent driver. Many thanks, Frank. Janet Fuller has been out and about representing Sorrento at the “Guns & Roses” competition in Narrogin; the “Over 65’s” at York during March and April, and in April at the Cambridge Club’s “Bash for Cash” event. Janet has enjoyed the experience of playing with, and against, a range of players at all levels and says that it has helped her game. This has been evident in the way she is playing during our regular social games on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Keep it up, Janet!

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Trophy Presentations Thora, Judith, Pat, Janet at the Trophy presentation

This was held in April and turned out to be very popular with 24 members, family and friends attending. The evening was celebrated with pizzas as a finger food supper following the presentation of the trophies.

Club Champion Terry Harvey has won this title for the last few years, but this year he had to fight particularly hard to retain his position while battling health issues. Congratulations, Terry Netherclift Trophy This is presented to the most improved player who has been playing croquet for less than 18 months.

In the past, the Committee has been able to determine the winner of this award simply by observation of the newer players. However, this year we had a number of new players In order to determine the winner of this trophy, the Committee decided to hold a singles competition in which every eligible player played each other. Cheryl Saul was the recipient of the Trophy. Congratulations to Cheryl 57

for winning, and well done to all who participated Braybrook Trophy This trophy is presented to the “Club Member of the Year”. The winner is determined by players voting for a member who, in their opinion, contributes most to the well-being of the Club and its members This year the trophy was won by Diana McGivern Captain’s Choice Trophy This is presented to any person chosen by the Captain for whatever reasons the Captain decides. This year, Kerry called the Trophy “The Good Egg” and it was presented to Trish Klemp who is always willing to support the Club and/or to participate in events. Whether it is to partner someone in a competition, to assist with membership drives and coaching, or to provide us with her lovely (and now quite famous) homemade scones; Trish is always there to give of her time and expertise. A most deserving winner of this trophy!

The “Grumpy Award”.

This new trophy was presented to Terry Harvey (for obvious reasons).

The amusing part of this presentation was when Kerry announced the title of the award, Terry immediately started rising to accept it!! Tells you something – non?

The “Above and Beyond” Trophy.

This is a new trophy that was presented to Kerry Bomford with the following citation: “It must be over 10 years since Liz and I took up croquet at the Sorrento Croquet Club. Over the years we have both been involved in management and social committee roles at other clubs. One of the things that has stood out for us is the role of the volunteers, and the welfare 58

of members of the club. Most volunteers do not necessarily have the time, they just have the heart. We should never ever question a volunteer’s value, after all Noah’s Ark was built by volunteers - the Titanic was built by professionals! People are, and will always be, a club’s greatest asset. Their abilities and contributions are an important key to the success of any club. Just recently Liz and I sat down over a couple of Jim Beams and came up with the idea of acknowledging those within our croquet club that have done more than what is required of them. And thus the “Above and Beyond” Award was born. This year the inaugural recipient has gone far beyond the call of duty, doing more than what others expect of them, because that is what excellence is all about. It comes from striving and maintaining the highest standards, being reliable, committed to the task at hand, looking after the smallest details, and “going the extra mile”. Congratulations, Club Captain Kerry Bomford Other trophies • Ricochet Singles: Terry Harvey. Runner-up: Glenda Laidler • Ricochet Doubles: Kerry Bomford and Glenda Laidler Runnersup Terry Harvey and Thora Lay • Golf Singles: Di McGivern. Runner-up: Kerry Bomford • Golf Doubles: Trish Klemp and Thora Lay Runners-up – Terry Harvey and Di McGivern Visiting Group In April, a group of Scouts enjoyed an evening of croquet. This has become annual event and we are hoping to encourage them to continue playing between times. This year they were very ably looked after by Terry and Jan Craddock, and Cheryl Saul. A sincere “Thank you” goes to these relatively new players who are already very loyal, hard-working, volunteers!

Member welfare On behalf of all croquet members, the Committee sends very good 59

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wishes to all current and past croquet members who are either unwell/ injured themselves or have someone close to them who is not 100%.

We wish them all a very speedy recovery. Also, our condolences go to those who may have lost someone dear to them.

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Some Late News

t is great to see that the Sorrento Bowling Club is a finalist in the Bowls WA Metropolitan Club of the Year Award. Congratulations also to Chris Lander and Pauline Bourne who are finalists in the Men’s and Women’s Over 60 Bowler of the Year Awards. Final winners will be announced at the Awards night on 27 May 2019. Well done to Pauline Bourne who has been selected for the 2019 WA Women’s Senior Side to play in NSW in October.

Questions that Haunt me!

• Why does a round pizza come in a square box and then cut into slices that are triangles?

• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

• Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway!

• Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

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