Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 74 September 2018

Australia’s “Biggest” Morning Tea Raises $4529 for the Cancer Council of Western Australia! Well done to all!

Sorrento Bowling Club’s Quarterly Newsletter Number 74 September 2018

Contents From Your Editors – Denise and Neville Odell Letters of Congratulation Around Our Club President’s Report 2017/2018 Office Bearers 2018/19 Some More of our Partners Sponsorship Partners’ Committee Report Some Dates for your Diary Men’s Captain’s Report Women’s Captain’s Report The A.B.C. Wife Umpire’s Corner Umpires and Markers in Action Coaches’ Corner – Bowls No Climb Too Steep for Mighty Mick What Our Members do in their Spare Time Happy Anniversary Our Ladies at the Australian Open Our Men at the Australian Open Croquet Corner News Sponsorship Partners Croquet in Action A Well Run Business Bridge Over Troubled Waters Pat on the Mat with his “Hopeful” Habit Two Different Doctors But Two Different Result Bowling Arms Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea Photos from Australia’s “Biggest” Morning Tea After Retirement.

Some of Our Volunteers An Exceptional Volunteer Coral’s Minestrone Soup Joker Feedback.

Talk by the Office of the Public Advocate Confidence Women’s Selection Report

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From Your Editors – Denise and Neville Odell Another Top Award for Our Club ell done Sorrento! What a sensational, wonderful and magnificent achievement winning the 2018 Clubs WA Club of the Year – Medium Category in June 2018. Clubs WA has 500 member clubs so once again we did really well to win.

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From left to right: Wally Maker, Clint Wheeldon, Pauline Marsden, Wayne Gray, John Abercrombie, Brian Lucas and Paul Papalia When ABC Presenter Clint Wheeldon announced Sorrento as the winner for the third consecutive year and Pauline the Clubs WA’s Club Manager of the Year for the second time, our table erupted in cheers. Pauline led the members of our Governing Council, Abba, Brian, and Wayne onto the stage to receive the awards from Clubs WA

After the official photographs Clint Wheeldon called Pauline over to the microphone commenting that she was “the red rose amongst the thorns�. In accepting the awards, on behalf of the Governing Council and all members of Sorrento, Pauline said receiving the awards was an amazing achievement for Sorrento. She thanked Clubs WA for the generous support they consistently provide to Sorrento and all Clubs in WA. Pauline went on to explain that it has always been the mission of Sorrento to be recognised as the best bowling club in Western Australia and she believed we have achieved that goal.

She said she was so proud of the Governing Council, the volunteers, the staff and members of Sorrento who all contributed to us achieving the awards.

Pauline said winning the award gives Sorrento inspiration to go forward and discover what more can be achieved. Clint asked Pauline what stood out for her as the Club Manager.

Her response was that at Sorrento we are a community, we pull together and support each other and we want the best for everyone whether they are a bowler, a social member, a recreational bowler or a member of our Darts or Croquet Clubs. She reinforced that we are all members of a community that cares for one another and the wider community.

We have now received seven of these coveted awards over the past seven years. During that time Sorrento has won Bowls WA Metropolitan Club of the Year on three occasions and Clubs WA Club of the Year (Medium Size) on four occasions, with this year’s award being the

third in succession which means that Sorrento has now entered Clubs WA’s “Hall of Fame”, testimony to the dedicated work of so many of our volunteers. We are the first club to enter the Hall of Fame in the medium or large club category When we first started to receive these awards in 2012, Denise and I did not really understand their significance or importance. We just saw new signs appearing above the bar but had no appreciation of the amount of work that was going on behind the scenes to make and introduce the initial required achievements and then to prepare the subsequent detailed submissions to Bowls WA and Clubs WA. Members need to understand that without actual achievements it is difficult to prepare submissions.

We need to pay a special tribute to Brian Lucas who has been the main driving force to make this all happen. Thank you, Brian! Without your efforts over all these years we would not have continued to be recognised as one of the best clubs in WA. Sorrento’s vision is to continue to be recognised as the best bowling club in Western Australia. Recognition comes from our members and stake holders but importantly from external, independent authorities like Clubs WA and Bowls WA. Through their assessment criteria and judging panels, they have recognised that Sorrento is indeed at the pinnacle of leading clubs in the State.

These awards will continue to benefit our Club well into the future and will impact on membership retention, recruitment of new members, our Club’s profitability, Pennant and State performance as well as our ability to obtain future grants, funding and sponsorship.

THE SORRENTO BOWLING CLUB We’re a MODEST sort of a Club And we don’t MAKE A FUSS or SKITE, But we knew all along that we’d WIN AND we knew THAT the judges were RIGHT. For we work ‘BLOODY” hard At the problems that pop up on most every day, WE COULD BE THE BEST in AUSTRALIA – BUT WE’RE MUCH TOO MODEST TO SAY. – Written by an admirer. (anon.) S.W.

Letters of Congratulation From the Mayor – City of Joondalup

From Tony Krsticevic

Dear Brian Thank you for your e-mail advising of the Sorrento Bowling Club’s outstanding achievements. The City of Joondalup is a dedicated supporter of sporting and community groups and endeavours to have proud and active residents, of any age, participate in local activities and services for the betterment of the community.

Dear Pauline Roseanne just mentioned to me that you were awarded Bowls WA Club of the Year for 2017/18. That is such a wonderful achievement and very well deserved. I just had to send you my congratulations to you immediately as you all work so hard to make sure that your members have a club that they can be very proud of. Please pass on my congratulations to the staff and committee members for this awesome achievement.

Kind regards, Tony Krsticevic Member of the Legislative Assembly Member for Carine

The Sorrento Bowling Club is a leading example of what can be achieved by a club that has a strong sense of community and a determination for continued success.

Please accept, on behalf of my Council, my congratulations on winning the Clubs WA Club of the Year and the Bowls WA Metropolitan Bowling Club of the Year awards and I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your club the very best going into the future.

Yours sincerely Hon Albert Jacobs JP Mayor

From our Bush Poet Contributor Dear Neville Congratulations to the Sorrento Bowling Club for your well deserved award win.I have always said that your newsletter is the best in Australia and I’m proud to have contributed – now and then. Also your Club should be proud of to be the top in WA. – Grahame “Skewiff” Watt

Apologies In spite of some help from our spell checker and some tedious and time consuming proof reading we still manage to miss-spell members names. We know that it’s ......

Clair and not Claire, Shelley and not Shelly, Carole and not Carol, Rogers and not Rodgers, Krsticevic and not Kristecevic, Larraine and not Lorraine (sometimes), Steven and not Stephens or Stevens, Gray and not Grey, Odell and not O‘Dell, Dichiera and not Di Chiera, Alan and not Allan (sometimes), Anne and not Ann (sometimes), Denis and not Dennis, Sjepcevich and not anything else, Graeme and not Grahame (sometimes), MacFayden and not Mcfayden, Lorencs and not Lorense, Cramond and not Crammond, Mikolajczyk and not anything else, Bilich and not Billich, Tozer and not Toser or Tosser, Van Mosseveld and not Van Mosseveldt etc etc.

By the time the 64 pages have been completed there is a temptation to get it off to the printer and onto our website asap but we promise to take more care in future.

Some more “Did you hear” and “Did you know”?

Did you hear that Glenn McCarthy, Pat Dichiera and Tony Friedlieb were cock-a-hoop when they scored a seven in a triples match one Thursday afternoon but when they dropped a nine a few ends later they were very quiet. The opposition, on the other hand, were ecstatic. It was a case of “chocolates to boiled lollies”!

Did you know that during his time on the West Australian newspaper Jim Woodward was Dennis Lillie’s ghost writer for 15 years – still the longest running column in the paper’s history? In appreciation, Dennis presented Jim with these signed frame by frame shots of his magnificent action. Jim continues to contribute to our newsletter and two of his latest articles are in this newsletter. Thank you Jim. Your well written articles are always well received by members Did you hear that hundreds of volunteer markers for the singles events for the Australian Open were gifted with a free orange bowls shirt? It was handsome indeed, plenty of colour, and made lovingly in Perth. But alas, there was no top pocket. Apparently the reason was that about three years ago, in the Aussie Open, a marker had housed all of his personal items in the top pocket of his shirt. He bent down over a very congested head to mark a resting toucher and all the stuff from his top pocket fell out, and landed directly on the head, disturbing jack and a number of bowls. “Who has got the shot”

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asked one of the players. “My mobile phone is holding shot, my car keys are second, and it’s a close measure between the last bowl you played and my cigarette lighter.”

Suffice to say, that Bowls Australia decided that, “THERE WILL BE NO MORE POCKETS”. Pockets on shirts also adds about extra $8 to the overall cost. There was a lot of discussion about this on Facebook with one bowler wanting to know if the marker’s false teeth also disturbed the head!

Do you think you may have some literary skills? Have a look at this amazing sentence sent in by Brian Lucas: ‘‘I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability transcendentalises intercommunication’s incomprehensibleness.’’

The person who wrote this sentence must be a vocabulary genius because in the sentence, the first word has one letter, the second word two letters, the third word three letters, the eighth word eight letters and so on – and the 20th and last word has 20 letters!

Did you know that Hilda Dichiera paints the most beautiful paintings? Two of her recent paintings are shown below.

Did you know that if you ever go to a Quiz evening make sure that Anne and Trevor Orton are at your table especially if you want to win a prize? Trevor has always been good on general knowledge. He appeared on the “Sale of the Century” quiz show (in 1988). While Trevor did not set the world alight, he did bring a board game and diamond-set memento home with him.

Did you know that drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body? Thanks to Judith Skeet the following is recommended: 2 glasses of water after waking up. This helps activate internal organs, 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal. This helps your digestion, 1 glass of water before taking a bath. This helps lower blood pressure and 1 glass of water before going to bed. This help avoid stroke or heart attack.

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Around Our Club

Alan and Mary Rolls who have just celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary

Tony Bourne enjoying a $20 beer in Norway

Check that action and follow through! Two of our top bowlers show how it is done

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Jan Cook looking very glamorous at the Morning Tea

Lorraine and Carmel Hyde in Germany, on the river boat from Amsterdam to Budapest, enjoying a Bavarian night

Trevor Orton enjoying some quite time with his cat

Around Our Club - continued

Above: Phil Oldershaw and Ray Stapledon in action!

Below: Ron Rogers and Tony Friedlieb in action!

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Keith Tompkins in his smart hat!

Did you know that our Thumbs Up Club have moved the shrub planted in memory of Ken Vercoe? It was not doing too well in its original position so it is now to the right of the Greenkeeper’s shed and is now thriving.

Did you hear that a dozen camels were banned from a beauty competition in Saudi Arabia? Their owners tried to cheat by using botox for their lips, their noses and even their jaws. Apparently batty eyelashes, pouty lips and perfect humps are considered to be cheating!

Did you know that Shane Loftus was runner up to Clive Adams in the Professional Bowler’s Association Scottish Singles? He just missed out on a trip to Scotland.

Guess whose dog was rushed off to the vets the other night to have his stomach pumped because he had eaten one third of tub of Gumption!! Yes Gumption, apparently it’s delicious, who knew? The vet said it was a first in her 20 year career.

After receiving the $221 bill, Jan Pan said the dog had to get a job!!

Did you hear that when Steve Draper was asked why he had not opted for the scoop or Z grip on his bowls he said he was worried that this recess in the bowl could result in him losing a measure when the umpire measured to the bottom of the scoop?

Did you hear that a Sunshine Coast woman has won a costly Supreme Court battle against the Nambour Bowls Club which cancelled her membership and then banned her from the premises after a disagreement over recycled coleslaw escalated? The Club had to pay $30000 in legal fees after the Court found in her favour.

Did you know that growing numbers of French people are embracing the “liberte” of nudism?

Apparently this is not just on the beaches but also for activities from yoga, singing and gym classes to “lawn” bowling and trampolining. This gives a whole new meaning to “wrong bias”!

We also need to ask ourselves whether this new trend will increase membership.

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“The significant problems we face cannot be resolved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them” – Albert Einstein

Did you know that there is hope for us “Oldies”? According to the United States Census Bureau there were 4 447 people over the age of 100 living in the US in 1950.

By 2001, the number had grown to 50 454. By 2050, the number is expected to be 834 000.

Did you hear about the guy who called an old classmate and asked what he was doing.

He replied that he was working on “Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium, and steel under a constrained environment.” I was impressed. Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife’s supervision.

(Thanks to Jan Paniperis for this contribution.)

Did you hear the “Quote of the Year” ? At Prince Harry’s Bachelor Party he said: “It’s really weird stuffing money into a stripper’s G string when every note has a photo of your grandmother printed on it!

Did you know that Peter Davies, age 89, is our oldest Pennant player? He tells me that every morning – winter and summer – he has a cold shower outside in his garden!

Contact details If you need to contact us our details are as follows: (08)9309 3108 or e-mail us at: nevodell@bigpond.net.au. Remember contributions and constructive comments are always welcome.

So send us your news!

–Denise and Neville Odell

President’s Report 2017/2018

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he following report (with some amendments and additions) was tabled at our well attended AGM (more than 80 members):

The past twelve months have been amazingly positive, productive, and rewarding. To be President of a club that has achieved so much in this time has been very exciting and gratifying. All these achievements would never have eventuated without the support of all Club members. Let’s reflect on some major achievements that occurred in 2017/2018.

MARKETING and COMMUNICATION The Governing Council developed a Marketing and Communication Strategy.

Included in the Strategy was our web-site upgrade, introduction of our e-news15

letter, our Facebook page, e-mails, publications, Quarterly newsletters, and personal communication. All these forms of Club communications allow our members to be kept informed of our Club’s activities.

CAPITAL EXPENDITURE We have been informed by the City of Joondalup that the extensions to the Western end of the Club has been included in the Council’s works programme for completion before June 2019.

The City of Joondalup have approved the extension Construction of the “UnderCover Patio”. This new patio will expand the Club’s outdoor facilities. The patio will be constructed adjacent to the BBQ area. The estimated cost of this project is $21600 and will be completed in 2018. The Governing Council has acquired a grant from the City of Joondalup for $12000. The balance of $9600 has been provided out of our Capital Investment plan 2018/2019.

The restoration and replacing of the Bar floor was completed in June 2017 and was fully funded by the City of Joondalup.

The Undercover Surface Report Group (UASRG) has been working tirelessly on progressing this project. Together with Ray Green’s donation to this project all monies received from sponsorship on our new score boards will go to towards assisting the Club’s part in funding this project.

CAPITAL WORKS PLAN The Governing Council resolved that $67,700 will be allocated to 15 capital works projects for 2018/2019. Good news for the Croquet Club in that an amount of $8500 has been allocated to the installation of additional lighting to the Croquet Courts.

CLUB ACHIEVEMENTS I do not believe there has ever been so many Club achievements won by the Sorrento Bowling Club in the history of this great Club. √Club history was made when we won promotion to Premier League in the Men’s Thursday and Saturday Pennants competition. √ One White premiers in Saturday Men’s Pennants √ Division 1 Red Premiers in Women’s Saturday Pennants. √ Finalists and semi-finalists in Men’s and Women’s WA State Events.

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√ Women’s Singles Champion of Champion winner √ WA State Fours winner √ Bowls WA Club of the Year Award winners 2017/2018 √ Bowls WA Over 60’s Bowler of the Year 2017/2018. √ Bowls WA Coach of the Year 2017/2018. √ Clubs WA Club of the Year Medium Category winner 2017/2018 √ Inducted in Clubs WA Hall of Fame. √ Clubs WA Office Manager of the Year winner 2017/2018 √ Clubs WA finalist in Volunteer of the Year 2017/2018.

Congratulations go out to all who have achieved and have represented the Club with honour and success. Let’s hope we can continue to achieve in 2018/2019.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Life Member and Club Director Brian Lucas for putting together the submissions for our Clubs WA and Bowls WA Club of the Year awards. Brian also put our grants submissions together.

The Governing Council is pleased to inform members that we have reappointed Brian Lucas as an Independent Director on the Governing Council for 2018/19.

Brian’s role will not involve day-to-day management but will focus on stewardship, compliance, grants and specific projects that are assigned by the Council such as applications for awards.

SOCIAL Throughout 2017/18 there have been numerous social events organised by our Social Committee. Sell out crowds at most events have given members and friends an opportunity to relax and enjoy the food and music provided.

Club members have organised fund-raising events for charity. These events have been very well supported by our members and friends. Recognition evenings have been well received by our Volunteers and Sponsors.

SPONSORSHIP We have had an increase of 15% in sponsorship during 2017/2018. This is a great result. I would like to thank all our sponsors who have again committed to sponsoring our Club in 2018/2019.

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MEMBERSHIP Our membership now stands at around 620. We have 108 volunteers. I have mentioned in previous reports that our volunteers are the heart and soul of our Club.

Nothing over the past twelve months has changed my mind. In fact, the response by our volunteers in offering their services is nothing short of amazing. I sincerely thank all members who have given up their own time to assist in volunteering as required.

It would be remiss of me not to acknowledge the efforts and dedication shown

by Pauline Marsden in her role of Office Manager and her contribution on the Governing Council. I know that I speak for many members of our Club when I say Pauline was a true professional, her work ethics were immeasurable, and she always put the Club first. Pauline on behalf of the Governing Council and all members we thank you.

I also thank on behalf of myself and the Governing Council, all committee members, and volunteers for your support throughout 2017/2018. In conclusion I would like to congratulate all the members who nominated for positions on all committees as well as our volunteers. Let’s hope 2018/2019 is just as exiting and rewarding as 2017/2018. Thank you ALL. – John Abercrombie

Office Bearers 2018/19

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Governing Council President Vice President (Ops) Vice President (S&R) Independent Director Office Manager Treasurer Director

John Abercrombie Wayne Gray Rob Tozer Brian Lucas To be advised Pat Dichiera Brian Lucas

Women’s Bowls Captain Vice-Captain Secretary Match Committee

Selection Committee

Sharon Eggers To be advised Pauline Bourne Lee Leach (Chairperson), Carole Ford, Glen Larcombe, Robyn Rowe, Wendy Saul Jan Cook (Chairperson), Cheryl Greig, Anne Lilly, Kath Harris, Coral Smith

Men’s Bowls Captain Vice-Captain Secretary Match Committee

Selection Committee

John Godfrey Warren Elliott John Farmer Trevor Orton (Chairperson), Gavan Ebsworth, Ken Giles and Dan Greig Rob Tozer (Chairperson), Ron Burroughs, Derry Ellis, Brian Self, Chris Lander

Croquet Captain

Vice-Captain Secretary Match and Comp Convenor

Social and Welfare Membership Coordinator

Kerry Bomford Glenda Laidler Di McGivern Kerry Bomford, Glenda Laidler and Di McGivern Thora Lay Mary Gardner

Darts Chairperson

Wayne Gray

Greens Green Keeper Greens Volunteers

Appointed Positions Assistant Treasurer Coaching Coordinator Events Coordinator Facebook Coordinator Function Hire Coordinator OH&S Membership Member Welfare Newsletter Editor Sponsorship Umpires Coordinator Volunteer Coordinator Web Master 19

Alan McFayden Kevin Cook, Denis Croker,, Gavan Ebsworth, Warren Elliott, Murray Newman Ron Taylor Brian Clausen Trevor Orton To be advised Tony Friedlieb Judith Skeet Geoff Murray John Murphy Neville Odell Barry Stewart Jim Ironside Ken Giles Denis Croker

Some More of our Partners

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Sponsorship Partners’ Committee Report New Committee This is my last report on sponsorship. Barry Stewart will be chairing this committee with effect from 1 August 2018.

Eyes On Please note that Eyes On have changed their name/identity. Please read their advertisement on the next page.

Egoli Place of Gold If you need to e-mail Egoli please note that their e-mail address has changed and is now egoliplaceofgold.com.au Safeway Security It was great to see their new flag flying proudly at the Dash for Cash “named” event.

The new Dash for Cash scorecards are proving to be a success.

Bowra Panel and Paint Thanks to Bowra Panel and Paint who are sponsoring the Men’s Nominated Pairs on 11 August. A full report will be in the next newsletter.

Tony Krsticevic Our Opening Day this year will be sponsored by Tony Krsticevic Trevors Carpets The new Trevors Carpets score cards used for our Sunday mornings Scroungers events have been well received. It has been agreed that in the 2018/19 season we will have three “named” events. See below.

Brad’s Barber Shop Brad’s barber shop in the Carine shopping centre complex is definitely the place to go. Not only will he offer you a discount on a haircut but you can sit and have a coffee while you wait (if you have to) TVs are playing sport and news and you can even have a game of pool. “Go prepared to hear a joke or take one with you.”

The card shown is given to you to keep a record of your visits with 10th one being free. Brads have been sponsoring the Men’s Pennants Pots for many years so please support them when you need a haircut.

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Eyes On Optometrists by G&M Eyecare – Same Faces, Same Service, Strong Partnership

Gary and his team have developed a loyal following in their local community and continue to deliver a unique optical and eyecare experience. More recently, they have partnered with George & Matilda Eyecare; a new business model for eyecare in Australia. Our mission is simple: to bring the benefits of scale to the best independent Optometrists, so that every Australian has access to the highest quality eye care and vision.

The name George & Matilda was carefully chosen to embody the values and vision of the brand, with ‘George’ representing the first high street in Australia, brimming with entrepreneurial spirit and local business values, to symbolise forward thinking and George & Matilda Eyecare’s link to modern Australia.

‘Matilda’ has become synonymous with the Australian outback and represents the side of the brand’s personality that is trustworthy, friendly and warm.

Whilst we have a new business name; Eyes On Optometrists by G&M Eyecare in Duncraig and Currambine are still the same people, in the same place, who continue to deliver the same high level of eyecare and professional service that you have always known.

To make an appointment, call the practice or you can now book online at www.georgeandmatilda.com.au Duncraig Shop: 19 Duncraig Shopping Centre, Marri Road. Phone 08 9246 1112 Currambine Shop: 7 Currambine Marketplace, Marmion Av. Phone 08 9304 0506 22

Barnes Wealth Management Barnes have agreed to once again sponsor our Melbourne Cup Day Named Events The following “named” events will be held during 2018-2019:

Mixed Handicap Fours Sat 16 Dec 2018 Trevors Carpets Women’s Invitation Day Fri 15 Mar 2019 Trevors Carpets Men’s Invitation Day Sun 12 May 2019 Trevors Carpets Dash For Cash Last Sat Winter mths. Safeway Security Screens Men’s Handicap Fours Sat 28 April 2019 Safeway Security Screens Twilight Bowls Wednesday Evening Barnes Wealth Management Nominated Pairs Sat 1 Sept 2018 Dion Smith Accounting Nominated Pairs Sat 15 Sept 2018 A & S Automotive Opening Day Sun 16 Sept 2018 Tony Krsticevic Nominated Pairs Wed 19 Sept 2018 Egoli Place Of Gold Divorced Mixed Pairs Wed 26 Sept 2018 Balcatta Mowers Mixed Social Fri 21 Dec 2018 Duncraig Physiotherapy Australia Day Sat 26 Jan 2019 Showtime Limousines Women’s Handicap Triples Wed 3 Apr 2019 Barbaro Butchers Easter Carnival Sat 20 April 2019 Duncraig IGA Easter Carnival Mon 22 Apr 2019 A & O Pest Control Nominated Pairs Wed 8 May 2019 John Badman Electrical Nominated Pairs Wed 22 May 2019 Bethanie Nominated Pairs Wed 29 May 2019 Eyes-on Optometrists New score boards Barbaro Butchers have kindly agreed to extend their sponsorship to include all the scoreboards on D green. We now have the following: A green Spraggon George B green Trevors Carpets C green Showtime Limousines D green Barbaro Butchers E green Still available We are still looking for sponsors to advertise on the score board on E greens. The annual cost is $250 per board or $1250 for an entire green.

If you know of anyone who may be interested please advise the Sponsorship Committee.

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$50 Monthly Lucky draw Our members continue to support our Sponsorship Partners by placing their receipts in the special box: May winner Brad Williams who supported. Duncraig Fresh IGA June winner Peter McIntosh who supported Aero Bowls July Winner Colin Campbell who supported 9 Oceans Fish and Chips Our Partners Please continue to support our Club’s generous partners with your patronage.

– Neville Odell

Some Dates for your Diary

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s your Events Coordinator I thought it would be useful to provide members with a summary of the main events planned for September and early October. Our Fixture Booklet is already on our website. Printed copies will be available by mid August.

Sat 1 September DION SMITH ACCOUNTING Nominated Pairs: Any combination pairs. 1:00 start. Limited Numbers (36 pairs).

Sun 9 September CLUB OPEN DAY: New bowlers. See poster in Club.

Sat 15 September A & S AUTOMOTIVE Nominated Pairs: Any combination pairs. 1:00 start. Limited Numbers (36 pairs).

Sun 16 September TONY KRSTICEVIC OPENING DAY: We will play for the Des Bennett Trophy (fours). 10:00 start.

Tue 18 September WOMEN’S FASHION PARADE: Our annual event. 10:00 start.

Wed 19 September EGOLI PLACE OF GOLD: Nominated Pairs. Any combination pairs. 1:00 start.

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Sat 22 and Mon 24 Sept.

MEN’S 100 UP CHAMPIONSHIPS: Get your names down for this new event.

Fri 21 September CANCER CHARITY DAY Mixed social bowls. 1:00 start.

Wed 26 September BALCATTA MOWERS Divorced Mixed Pairs: Any combination pairs. 1:00 start.

Wed 3 October WOMEN’S 100 UP CHAMPIONSHIP SINGLES: 10:00 start Entry sheet to be posted.

Sun 7 October MIXED FOURS CHAMPIONSHIP FOURS: (2M + 2W) 10:00 start. Entry sheet to be posted.

– Trevor Orton

Men’s Captain’s Report

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nother Pennant season is almost upon us and it won’t be very long before we will have to start planning our season. For the first time in our Club’s history we will have a Men’s Premier League team in the competition.

Our main aim is to hold onto that position and also promote one of our Second Division sides to First Division. Our future is in our hands to achieve this. Personally, I know we will with the hard work that we plan.

Fixture Book The 2018/19 Fixture Book has now been completed and will be sent to the printers very soon. A lot of hard work has gone into finalising this book, so a big thank you to Lee Leach and Trevor Orton for the big effort that was required to get the final results.

A lot of hours has gone into completing this.

Opening Day Opening Day is on 16 September 2018. Details will be out shortly. We would like as many members as possible to attend, especially from our top division bowlers.

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We need your support to show our guests from the City of Joondalup and our local members of Parliament that Sorrento Bowling Club is the largest bowling club in the Perth Metro Area and we need their help in expanding our premises to cater for an even bigger membership. We want to be the best in Western Australia.

Trevors Carpets Recently Trevor Orton, Rob Tozer and myself had a meeting with our major sponsor, Ray Green, to establish that all Trevors Carpets events for the 2018/19 season were to his satisfaction. The meeting was a great success. It was decided that there will now be a Ladies Invitation event, a Men’s Open Invitation event and a Mixed event. More details will be available at a later date.

Ray Green stated that he was overwhelmed by the support from the members and their families of the Sorrento Bowling Club. Ray also mentioned that the staff at Trevors Carpets can pick out the bowlers when they enter their stores. The staff do a bowling action between each other to indicate that a bowler is in the store.

Volunteers Volunteers are worth their weight in gold and at Sorrento Bowling Club we have 105 volunteers to help run our Club. This is unheard of at any other bowling club. I would like to thank one and all for the dedication and commitment you give to help keep our Club at the high standard other clubs envy. If anyone would like to become a volunteer and help our Club, please enquire through Ken Giles.

Club Uniforms All men bowlers must wear Junior navy trousers, shorts or tracksuit pants. No other variations of blue will be accepted. If you require any new uniforms, please contact me so that I can place a bulk order and get a discount.

Club Events Full Pennant clothing must be worn. No old shirts, white or black pants or shorts will be accepted. If you are not in proper uniform, you will need to go home and change or forfeit your game. The same will apply in Pennants.

Thank you Pauline Last but not least, I wish to personally thank Pauline Marsden for her dedication and professional manner while being our Office Manager over the last few years. I thank you for the help and kindness you have given me. I am really going to miss that smiley face when I come into the office. – John Godfrey 26

Women’s Captain’s Report

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t is hard to believe with the current run of wet, wintery weather that the 2018-19 bowling season is just around the corner. The Women’s Management Committee has already met to start detailed planning for the next few months. Several times throughout the season, the Women’s Committee will meet jointly with the Men’s Committee which will help to maintain cohesion between the two sections of the bowling club.

Congratulations to Jan Cook who is heading our Selection Committee once more.

Her wealth of knowledge and experience in this area will ensure that our Pennant teams are as strong and cohesive as possible, while endeavouring to meet the wishes of individual players as much as possible. It is very important to remember that, as a member of a Pennant team, you are playing for the success of our Club and not your own ‘glory’.

Congratulations to Lee leach who has again taken on the role as Chair of Women’s Match. She did a fantastic job in this very important role with ensuring that women’s bowling events were well organised and ran smoothly. This is a very time-consuming role and can be a thankless task at times. Again it is important to remember that she is trying to do the very best job that she can for the club. Lee has been working very hard on putting together the women’s bowling fixtures in cooperation with Men’s Match.

This is an enormous task and our sincere thanks go to Lee for doing this.

Pauline Bourne has again taken on the role of secretary of the Women’s Management Committee. This will ensure that the Club and the women members in particular will again receive regular minutes of meetings that we hold. Our thanks go to Pauline for taking on this task.

Anne Lilley will again have a position on our Committee as a representative from the Bowls WA Management Committee. We are always so grateful for the information that we are able to glean about Bowls WA activities and decisions directly from Anne.

We have yet to find a Vice-Captain for our Committee. We are currently working on this situation and I will notify you all when we have a person to fill this role.

A number of events are coming up fairly soon so please make a mental note of these.

First of all is our annual Opening Day on Sunday 16 September. There will be the official opening activities, performed by dignitaries from our Club and the community. Then there will be a delicious lunch provided by our own wonderful Silver Fern Caterers. Following this, there will be two short games of bowls where mixed teams play for the bragging rights to the Des Bennett Memorial Trophy. Some sponsorship 27

for the day will be provided by our patron Tony Krsticevic, State member for Carine.

Secondly, is our annual Women’s Fashion Parade which is scheduled for Tuesday 18 September starting at 10am. Fashions will again be provided by K’Sara Fashions from Duncraig and models provided from amongst our own female membership. Watch out for flyers and notification of ticket sales. Let’s make this the resounding success that we have come to expect each year. Volunteers will be needed for a number of tasks to make sure that this event runs like clockwork. More information will be available over the next week or so.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very successful season 2018-19 and hope that everything goes well for you all both in health and happiness.

The A.B.C. Wife

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– Sharon Eggers

fter being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said, “You’re an alphabet wife A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.” She asked ... “What the hell does that mean?” He said: “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot”.

She smiled happily and said: “Oh, Darling – that’s so lovely, but what about I, J, K?” He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is optimistic about saving one of his testicles.

Men’s Match Committee Report Dash for Cash #2, 2018

After missing May’s Dash for Cash, which was cancelled due to weather, 20 eager teams registered to play in the second Dash for Cash on 30 June. There were 25 visitors from other clubs who took part. The weather was cool but sunny and the greens were running well. Once again, our thanks go to SAFEWAY SECURITY SCREENS for their on-going sponsorship of these events. SAFEWAY have been 28

sponsoring Dash for Cash for many years now. It was great to see our new Dash for Cash flag blowing in the wind.

Thanks also to the ladies led by Jan Cook who prepared the morning tea and lunches for the hungry bowlers. Both were greatly enjoyed and appreciated.

Four matches of 11 ends each are played. At the lunch break only three teams had won both of their matches, but by the completion of the afternoon matches, only one team had won all four matches. This was the team comprising Shane Rixom, Murray Hulbert, Phil Black and Shane Loftus and they were duly awarded first prize. The full list of winners is shown below:• 1st Overall • 2nd Overall • 3rd Overall • 4th Overall • Morning • Afternoon • Round 1 • Round 2 • Round 3 • Round 4

S Rixom, M Hulbert, P Black and S Loftus 4 wins + 33 shots T Needs, B Gartrell, S Draper and J Lorencs 3 wins + 33 shots C Curham, W Mason, N McMurtrie, S Murray 3 wins + 20 shots P Webb, B Lucas, B Collins and A Walton 3 wins + 6 shots P Bilich, G O’Brien, F Bomford and R Mulroy 2 wins + 4 shots F Tyson, P Murray, M Martin and T Murray 2 wins + 8 shots D Croker, G Ebsworth, R Cunningham and C Lander + 17 shots N Odell, G McCarthy, J Collishaw and T Orton + 9 shots E Tassone, T Mirto, J Godfrey and C Jasper + 6 shots M Korycin, B Saul, B Fullagar and C Packer + 16 shots

Dash for Cash #3, 2018 The third scheduled Dash for Cash took place under grey skies, but dry weather on Saturday 28 July. 22 teams of men registered for this event, which was again sponsored by SAFEWAY SECURITY SCREENS. Morning Tea and Lunch were beautifully supplied by a posse of volunteers led by Jan Cook, and greatly appreciated by the hungry bowlers. 30 of the 88 bowlers were from “outside” the Club, which reflects the 29

increasing popularity of this event. Keen and competitive matches were the order of the day, with a number of the four nine-end matches ending in draws.

The full results were:• 1st Overall D Smith, J Smith, P Murray, S Rixom • 2nd Overall L Bolton, D Flar, L Oldham, M Hulbert • 3rd Overall P Bilich, M McCavana, L Baker, B Mulroy • 4th Overall M Burton, B Gunson, A Barron, S Loftus • Morning D Condon, J Sanders, R Cunningham, C Lander • Afternoon S Smith, S Cavanagh, B Crawford, J Berecz • Round 1 T Needs, R Hicks, S Draper, J Lorencs • Round 2 F Tyson, P Balcombe, C Grisbrook, M Martin • Round 3 R Vind, A Herbert, D Barber, G Maesepp • Round 4 R Stapledon, J Ironside, M Vitale, G White

Overall winners of Dash for Cash #3 From left to right: Dion Smith, Jerra Smith, Pat Murray and Shane Rixom – Trevor Orton

Umpire’s Corner Accreditation At Bowls WA training courses in 2017 and in May this year, the following members achieved accreditation or re-accreditation, as follows, National Umpires (including accreditation as measurer and marker): Derry Ellis, Brian Clausen, Geoff Murray, Jan Cook, Evan Cosh, Dan Greig and Ray Stapledon.

Measurer and Marker: John Sturk Measurer: Alan Gallagher.

Congratulations to all the above for their efforts in achieving their accreditations.

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Twice-yearly Training Courses About this time each year, prior to the start of the new season, Bowls WA conducts one of its twice-yearly training courses for new and re-accrediting umpires, measurers and markers. A notice from Bowls WA will be on the notice board later this month giving details of tutorials and venues.

All competitive bowls events require accredited umpires and I would strongly encourage any player (ladies or men) with an interest in this area to take up the challenge and become an accredited umpire. Sorrento is considered to have the one of the best group of umpires in the State, which puts the Club in a good position for hosting Bowls WA events.

A Close Measure A lawn bowls umpire is an official nominated by the competition organiser to provide adjudication of the rules of competition, and to interpret the rules of bowls in the event of a dispute. Once an umpire is called, the decision of the umpire is final and binding on all players involved in the dispute.

In a recent competition, two opposing bowlers rolled their bowls and landed unthinkably close to the jack and an umpire was required. To the untrained eye, both bowls appeared to be touching the jack but the umpire conducted an investigation determining one was touching it while the other wasn’t.

The determination had to be made because if the umpire said they were both touching, nobody would have scored a point!

Note: If the two bowls were in fact touching the jack, the umpire should have declared a drawn end with no shot recorded but the end counting – Jim Ironside 31

Umpires and Markers in Action

“We desperately need an Umpire to see who is holding shot!�

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Coaches’ Corner – Bowls

Above are our three male coaches. Missing from the photo is Charmain Harris currently our only lady coach and she was on holiday when this photo was taken.

If you need a bowls coach contact one of the above: Ray Stapledon Brian Clausen Bruce Eagles Charmain Harris

Telephone: 9447 6821 or staporl@bigpond.com.

Telephone: 9402 7468 or brian.clausen@gmail.com Telephone: 0419 699 948 or brceagles19@gmail.com Telephone: 9309 5963 or charmain@tocsa.co.za

No Climb Too Steep for Mighty Mick

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orrento’s ascent to Mens’ Premier Division on Saturday is of “Everest” proportions but the squad member who will be least daunted by what lies ahead is Mick Martin. That Sorrento is now in the big league will merely present another challenge for a bloke who has resolutely shrugged off difficult situations throughout his life.

Mick was born 55 years ago in the small town of Motueka near the top of New Zealand’s South Island where his parents ran a tobacco farm. However times were tough and Mick‘s grandparents moved him to Alexandra, 190 kilometres from Dunedin.

Alexandra has the reputation of being the hottest, driest and coldest town in New Zealand, which presented a problem given what the by now four-year old Mick and his little mate from next-door had to undertake on a regular basis. That was to walk five kilometres each way by themselves to attend the nearest kindergarten. When it rained the pair simply put on their raincoats and bravely set forth.

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The next challenging move in Mick’s life was when his grandparents took over the management of a hotel in Mosgiel, a satellite suburb on the outskirts of Dunedin. But that relocation launched the beginning of a long association the versatile Mick had with rugby union and rugby league.

At the age of eight Mick, who these days looks more like an ex-prop forward when he steps onto the bowling mat, joined forces with the Zingari-Richmond rugby club as a fleet-footed first five-eighth.

Formed in 1878, Zingari was dubbed “the diehards” due to their never say die attitude. It’s the same attitude Mick brought to the Sorrento Bowling Club.

After his Zingari-Richmond days, Mick’s side-step must have been still working well and he was named as full-back for Otago’s under 14-years metropolitan side. That selection led Mick to play on the hallowed turf of Carisbrook, Dunedin’s notorious “House of Pain”. It was once said that no stadium on earth had such a formidable reputation.

Until it was recently bulldozed into the ground and is now a sorry-looking enormous vacant block of land without a conscience, Carisbrook staged 38 Test matches involving the All Blacks over 103 years with the home side losing just five. And the Otago side over the years regularly made mincemeat of touring sides and rival provincial teams at Carisbrook.

So passionate, or perverse, were the Otago locals they once performed shifts to drive around the hotel of the British and Irish Lions the night before a Test match beeping their car horns in an effort to seriously disrupt their sleep. Can you recognise Mick in the middle of this photo?

While Mick’s rugby career never reached dizzy heights at Carisbrook, his grandfather Herbie’s almost did. Good judges say Herbie, while playing for Otago, was on track 34

to play for the All Blacks until a broken leg forced him to give the game away in the amateur era.

As an adult Mick moved to Auckland and played rugby league for the City-Newton club. During that period, he held down several jobs, including on fishing trawlers for two or three years catching the much sought-after Orange Roughie.

With his mother, brother and sister living in Perth, Mick moved to the Western Australian capital in 1992 and got a berth in the Belmont-Steelers rugby league team.

It was during this stint that Mick’s toughness again came to the fore. He was offered a job at a garbage disposal company with one proviso --- that he gave up playing football to eliminate the risk of injury.

Mick didn’t pay a great deal of attention to that request and inevitably suffered a broken bone in an ankle. In order to keep his job, Mick turned up for work but a well-meaning workmate suggested Mick drive the truck instead of having to run along behind it.

However Mick figured his ankle would seize up if he sat still for hours and elected to ignore the pain and run no matter what.

Mick’s association with the Sorrento Bowling Club began in 1995 and in his first Pennants game for our Club was picked as a fifth division skipper with Angry Anderson in the same squad. “I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, we got flogged, I got the sack and I thought that was it,” Mick recalled.

Fortunately, Mick decided to press on and the rest is history as he progressed through the ranks to where he is now. Mick says Sorrento’s now Premier Division squad has magnificent camaraderie, has kept its feet on the ground and is confident about its future in the big time. “We’ll give them a good go,” he says.

Having skippered a Sorrento top division side for more than five years, Mick is quite at ease with his new role as third, due partly to his busy work schedule with Cleanaway, which involves the discipline of getting up at 3.45am every working day. The big difference these days is that Mick gets to drive the vehicle in air-conditioned comfort.

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Mick Martin and Ron Kuziela ham up the Haka

Mick’s determination to succeed from a very early age was reflected in Sorrento’s domination on the bowling green last season. The elite 16 averaged in excess of six aggregate points each Saturday in winning all its home games, and losing just three away, on the way to finishing well on top of the first division white ladder.

Few would argue that there is no more loved or respected member of the Premier League squad than our mercurial Mick nor nobody else you would rather have in the trenches alongside you when the going gets tough.

– Jim Woodward

What Our Members do in their Spare Time

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here are striking similarities as Robyn Woodward and Glen Larcombe threaded their way through life. Although the pair did not meet until they joined the Sorrento Bowling Club, they have never been that far apart in terms of where they came from and their passion for needlework – especially quilting.

Glen was born at Big Bell, near Cue, in the Murchison and Robyn just up the road in Geraldton. After the gold mine closed in Big Bell, Glen moved to Mt. Magnet at an early age and later took a job with the local council and met her future husband, Bill.

Robyn grew up in Northampton and on leaving school worked in banks in Perth and Sydney, where she met Jim. By then both had acquired an incurable love for sewing and then quilting. When asked how long she had been quilting, Glen replied “God, how old am I?” Robyn too, had made the first of her uncountable number of quilts before she returned to Perth. The addicted pair both admit to still not having finished quilts they started a very long time ago and also to the fact that there is “no such thing” as a perfect quilt.

“There is always something you can improve on,” Robyn says. Be that as it may, Robyn and Glen over the years have made a staggering number of quilts, the more complex ones sometimes taking more than several months to complete.

Their traditional quilts are made with loving care and over the years both have given the fruits of their labour to close friends and family members for special events such as weddings, births and birthdays.

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Their passion takes them to many handicraft get-togethers with Robyn attending groups such as Primarily Patches, Cotton Club, Sew Addicted and Chinwaggers, a gathering which Glen hosts every month. The Chinwaggers, so named by the tactful Bill, also make and donate mini quilts to Princess Margaret Hospital for humidicrib babies.

How Robyn and Glen find time for bowling is a cottonpicking mystery!!

– Jim Woodward

Happy Anniversary

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nly a few members would have been aware that the recent Christmas in July celebrations was also the 5th Anniversary of Ross and Trish Cunningham’s arrival at Sorrento and well done to them for their contribution to making the Club a welcome environment. Long may it continue and thank you both and your girls.

P.S. Apart from their culinary expertise, they also show a bit of promise on the greens.

– Ray Stapledon

Our Ladies at the Australian Open

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his year the Gold Coast turned on its most magic weather for the two weeks of the Australian Open Championships. There to enjoy it were Nerrida Porteous, Lee Leach, Jan Cook and Coral Smith – along with their very patient case carrying husbands. Well done guys!

Lee and Nerrida participated in the Open Singles but had limited success only winning one game in their respective sections. It had rained the night before and the greens were very heavy and neither Lee nor Nerrida could get their weight quite right.

Coral partnered Nerrida in the over 60’s pairs and Lee partnered Jan in the same event. A strong start by both teams resulted in two great wins but Lee and Jan faded in the next two games. Coral and Nerrida won their section handsomely and buoyed 37

by their success looked forward to the next round. Unfortunately their high came to an abrupt end being bundled out unceremoniously in the first game. Even their opposition conceded that the only luck they got was bad.

And then there was the fours. Nerrida skip, Lee third, Jan second, Coral lead. What a great day! They convincingly won their section – one game against a team that had 2 members of the Australian squad and one from Canada. The next game was against a team from Victoria. Another convincing win – 20 to 5. In that opposing team was the skip and the third who went on to win the Pairs Championship collecting a cool $5,000. The Sorrento team were ousted in the next game but came home pleased with their results having reached the final 16 (and $175 each richer).

The Australian Open is a great carnival atmosphere and there is every chance some of the Sorrento girls will be there again next year.

– Thanks to Nerrida Porteous for this contribution

Our Men at the Australian Open

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n the June Australian Open, Sorrento had bowlers representing our Club in Singles , Pairs and Fours. Brad Ball , Shane Loftus , Peter Morgan and Shane Rixom were all part of the contingent that headed to the Gold Coast to participate in the World’s largest bowls festival.

From a personal reflection the two weeks I spent at the Australian Open was a thrill.

Although you are only guaranteed three days of bowls if you don’t qualify in any disciplines it is well worth it. What other sporting event in the World can you come up against the World’s best! I strongly encourage all bowlers to get over to the Open next year and have a go no matter your bowling talent. It’s an amazing experience and one never to forget. You never know you may take home part of the $250,000 prize pool.

Sectional play was over three rounds with the winner of the section going straight into the knockout rounds, with lucky losers also going through needing at least two wins and a margin to be determined.

In the Singles Peter Morgan won two games and lost one (21-20, 16-21 and 21-12).

Shane Rixom also won two games and lost one (21-12, 21-14 and 5-21). Brad Ball lost 8-21 and 19-21 but won his last game 21-18. Shane Loftus could not make the singles. Unfortunately all failed to qualify for knock out rounds.

In the Pairs sectional Shane Loftus and Shane Rixom lost their first game but then 38

went on to win 16-11 and 19-16. Steve Novak, from Warnbro, and Brad Ball won their first two games and then lost their third game 13-14. Peter Morgan and Murray Hulbert (also from Warnbro) won all their games.

Steven Novak and Brad Ball and Peter Morgan and Murray Hulbert qualified for the KO round of 128 teams. Both teams had hard battles but were unable to go past the round of 128. In the knockout round Steve and Brad lost to V G Ball (VIC) I Miller (SA) 13-20. Peter and Murray lost by one shot to V J Corless (VIC) Z Trbara (NSW).

In the Fours sectional Shane Loftus, Steve Novak, Shane Rixom and Brad Ball lost the first game 10-18 and won their next two 27-12 and 20-7 and qualified for the Fours KO round of 64. Peter Morgan, Chris Margin, Murray Hulbert and Mark Douthie lost two games and failed to qualify. In the knockout round Shane, Steve, Shane and Brad lost 12-18 against R. Pearse (NSW), B. Wilkie (QLD), D. Ferguson (NSW), B. Twist (NSW). – Shane Rixom

Croquet Corner News

Thanks On behalf of all members of the Croquet Committee and players, I thank John Sturk (Jaffa) and Spider Webb (pictured alongside trying his hand at Croquet) particularly, as well as all other volunteers for the work they have recently undertaken to help us to both maintain, and improve, the croquet courts and surrounding areas.

Croquet Event Participation Glenda Laidler and Kerry Bomford represented Sorrento in the Gosnells 12 Tournament held in June. This was a two day event with 6 games being played on Saturday and 4 games on Sunday. Play was suspended for an hour on the Sunday due to inclement weather, however, undeterred, out went Maggie Cussell (President of Gosnells) to sweep away the water to allow the Tournament to go ahead! We are very proud of Glenda and Kerry who placed 5th in the event, and thoroughly enjoyed by all - thanks to the generosity and friendliness of the Host club, Gosnells.

Di McGivern received a very late request from Peter Hamilton on the eve of the WA Open Mixed Doubles Championship Competition to play as his partner, Kathy Hamilton being unable to pay due to ill health. Di accepted the challenge and, by all accounts, acquitted herself quite admirably! She and Peter were placed 10th in a field of 14 pairs - half of whom are already current State Players. She reported back 39

Please support our Sponsorship Partners

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that it was stimulating and encouraging to compete against much stronger and more experienced players.

Di McGivern playing in State Doubles Golf Championships at Forest Park As a result of Kerry and Di’s performances in the above inter-club competitions, they were both invited by the Senior State Coach to try out for the next State Team. These trials will be held in the second week of August.

Janet Fuller, Di McGivern, Glenda Laidler and Kerry Bomford participated in the Autumn Nights Competition held weekly over seven weeks and between them managed to finish in 5th place, although a number of the games were tied at the final hoop - forcing them to a 13th hoop!

Quiz Night

A very successful Quiz Night was held on Saturday 14 July, raising an amount of $4800 (equivalent to 24 wheelchairs). Led by a very capable Quiz Master, Lance Nicolls, a gathering of over 200 participants were faced with (sometimes quite amusing) questions from a wide range of categories including history, geography, music, sport, politics, maths, current affairs, astronomy and some simply “tricky “ things.

A well-supported auction took place for prizes ranging from government-house dinner vouchers, to small electrical goods, to hand-crafted items. A very generous supper was provided plus an enormous range of prizes were set aside for raffles and trick questions. All prizes were donated by very generous local businesses.

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Croquet in Action Left: Maggie Cussell getting the Gosnell’s green ready to play after a deluge Right: Glenda Laidler and Kerry Bomford who will play irrespective of the weather

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Volunteers managed the total evening’s entertainment – even a professional auctioneer was engaged for the auction. The over-all organisation of the function was carried out by Marie Cocks who put in many hours of her time leading up to, and during, the night. The Croquet section applauds the enormous efforts of Marie and her huge team of volunteers, who spent numerous hours collecting prizes together, engaging an excellent Quiz Master, organising and setting the tables, and all the other work needed to make the evening the success that it was!

Judith Skeet was instrumental in organising a group of current and past members of the Croquet Club to support this event. The response was very good with around 10 members (including new members) attending.

Members’ comments were all very positive regarding the overall enjoyment of the night - great food, fun competition and rivalry between tables, lucky prize winners and good company!

We look forward to supporting future events, from both a volunteer and attendee perspective. Just let us know and we will be there! Thank you all, again - a wonderful time was had by all?

We are neither too young nor too old to play Croquet.

– Kerry Bomford

A Well Run Business

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was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer down to the bar to do some data entries. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender:

Me:

‘What’s the wi-fi password?’

Bartender:

‘You need to buy a drink first.’

Me:

‘Okay, I’ll have a beer.’

Bartender:

‘We have Keith’s Red Ale on tap.’

Me:

‘Sure. How much is that?’

Bartender:

‘$8.00.’

Me:

‘Here you are. OK now, what’s the wifi password?’

Bartender: ‘

“youneedtobuyadrinkfirst”; No spaces and all lower-class.’

– Thanks to Mike Berecry for this contribution

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Bridge Over Troubled Waters

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n the May 2018 edition of the WA Bridge Newsletter, Suzanne Goodall wrote an excellent summary on what “bugs her at the bridge table”. In our Club we have the following members who play bridge and lawn bowls: Allan Rolls, Charmain Harris, Ray Routledge, Clive Webber, Colin Campbell,, David Cowell, Denise Odell, John Sanders, Ken Partridge, Ken and Lea Leach, Mineko Stapp, Pat Stapledon, Phil Oldershaw, Trevor Peters, Ron Burroughs and Wim Wouts.

We thought it worthy of considering whether her pet peeves might apply to lawn bowls as well as bridge and whether her list would assist our members who play both games.

You can decide.

Her pet peeves are: 1. People who come to play when ill.

2. Arrogance! Is this necessary. Remember it’s only a game. A difficult one perhaps but nonetheless a game.

3. Gloating in any form. Yes, you may consider yourself or your partner brilliant but please don’t crow about it! Part of good sportsmanship means being humble.

4. Slow play. Need I say more?

5. Intimidation of a novice in any form. There are bullies everywhere and unfortunately some are at the bridge table.

6. Summoning an umpire as if they were a servant. A simple ‘Umpire please’ will do.

7. Poor hygiene. Good grief! We are in close quarters!

8. Players who commentate throughout the game. Just stop it please.

9. Players who give unsolicited advice. Really? There are only a few real experts in Australia. Aren’t we lucky to have some of them at our Club?

Her favourite things are: 1. My wonderful team members who are happy to spend a few hours together.

2. The lovely and interesting people we meet. We are a diverse lot.

3. My fellow players understanding when I make errors.

4. The wonderful sense of humour the game engenders in people.

5. When my fellow players know my strengths and appreciate my weaknesses.

6. When my fellow players appreciate my efforts and support me when I struggle.

7. People who save the post-mortem for after the game.

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8. Players who accept that calling of an umpire is a requirement and not a personal affront.

9. Our great umpires especially when they are able to diffuse a tense situation.

Now don’t tell me – none of these apply to you but you know plenty of people to whom they do apply.

– Adapted by Brian Lucas

Pat on the Mat with his “Hopeful” Habit

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he big difference between Pat Dichiera and Linus van Pelt is that our esteemed Club Treasurer doesn’t suck his thumb. But when it comes to being tenderly in possession of a piece of blue cloth there is a striking similarity between the pair.

Linus, of course in the Peanuts cartoon strip drawn by Charles Schulz, was rarely without his blue blanket. And for many, many years now Pat has stepped onto the bowling mat carrying a small blue towel in his left hand.

At first it was thought the reason behind this was to wipe his bowls when the green was heavy and grass shavings became attached. But when the temperature was nudging 40 degrees and rain was just a distant memory, Pat still persists with the practice.

Now whether Pat carries his towel as a “security blanket”, as did Linus, is the burning question. Perhaps though it’s because, like several sporting champions, Pat believes his towel, will bring him good fortune.

Former Australian cricket captain Steve Waugh always went out to bat with a small, but visible, piece of red cloth tucked into his back pocket.

His twin brother, Mark, always wore the same thigh pad 46

and drew a little stick man on it whenever he scored a century. And champion wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist inserted a “lucky” squash ball into one of his gloves.

While Charlie Brown was Linus’ best friend in the comic strip, his younger sister Lucy van Pelt and Snoopy often tried to separate Linus from his blanket. On one occasion when they were successful, Linus broke down and suffered from weakness, dizziness, panic attacks and depression.

There is no telling how Pat would react should someone at the bowling club try such a dastardly tactic. One person who would certainly be trying to ward off a Lucy or a Snoopy attack would be Trevor Orton.

Reason being that over the years Pat and Trevor have collected a considerable amount of prize money in 2x4x2 competitions. Not wanting to jeopardise that sort of success, it’s easy to see why, if trouble was brewing, Trevor would gladly step up and play Charlie Brown.

– Jim Woodward

Two Different Doctors But Two Different Result

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o true. Boy, if this doesn’t hit the nail on the head, I don’t know what does. Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint? Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits eight weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn’t reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for six months from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients? The FIRST is a Golden Retriever.

The SECOND is a Senior Citizen. Next time take me to a vet!

– Thanks to Ray Stapledon for this contribution

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Bowling Arms or some years bowlers have been using “Bowling Aids” to assist them to remain playing bowls in a competitive manner. These aids can comprise a walking stick, 47

a wheelchair and more recently the use of a “Bowling Arm”.

To enable a bowler to use an “arm”, it is necessary for them to have approval from Bowls WA. It is necessary to submit a form to them, along with a doctor’s certificate as to reason for use of such.

There are many reasons that can lead to the need for such an aid including an injury to a limb, back problems, or other medical reasons. In my case I suffer from a form of occasional vertigo, and the constant getting up and down when delivering a bowl, created some loss of balance, as well as bringing on the problem.

By being able to remain upright when delivering the bowl has allowed me to continue playing bowls and let me have confidence that I could get through a game of bowls without bringing on any issues.

A lot of those that do not understand the issues of others, feel that use of this equipment is unfair to others, but if it allows a bowler to continue in the game that they enjoy, and that they can be competitive in, can only be good.

In my case, I feel that I am playing at a level that I could not achieve without such an aid. Use of such an aid should not be viewed as an item that is just there to improve your bowling ability, rather to enable individuals to continue bowling.

The process is that you need to obtain a doctor’s certificate, complete a form which is to be submitted to BowlsWA, who will then issue you with a letter of approval. This letter must be carried by the recipient, allowing presentation to anyone who might challenge your authority to use such an aid.

The “arm” that you use, must be one that has been approved by Bowls Australia.

This information can be found on the following link. http://www.bowlsaustralia.com. au/Get-Involved/Attire-Equipment/Bowlers-Arms To obtain form for submission to BowlsWA the link is. www.bowlswa.com.au/Club-Assistance/Forms-and-Documents If anyone is considering use of such an aid, and has any questions, I am more than prepared to assist them, if it allows bowlers to continue their bowling journey.

– Ian Wittber

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Australia’s Biggest Morning Tea

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n Thursday 24 May a group of enthusiastic ladies from our Club hosted a morning tea to raise funds for the Cancer Council of Western Australia. The MC for this occasion, Lee Leach, introduced Betty Cottrell from the Cancer Council who gave an informative overview of how various programs and services are funded by community donations. The Cancer Council WA is a non-profit, non-government organisation and therefore relies on the valuable support of fund raisers. A big thank you to: √ a wonderful team of cooks who exceeded all expectations donated their signature delights to cater for everyone’s taste. √ The Marmion Angling and Aquatic Club- who donated four dinner vouchers. √ Table Sponsors for their generous support: √ Aussie Clotheslines and Letter boxes √ Spraggon George √ SPECS 2-4-1 (two tables) √ Dunsborough Construction √ Connect Hearing √ Our Governing Council (two tables) √ Silver Fern Catering. √ Sorrento Bowling Club for providing the premises for the function. √ John Abercrombie (Abba) who was an excellent auctioneer. √ Pauline Marsden who ably performed the role of ‘penciller’ for Abba. √ A variety of local businesses and individual Club members who so generously donated goods and services to raise money at the auction. √ Various Club members for their cash donations in lieu of their ability to attend the morning tea and for donations of wine and other goods to raffle. √ Our kitchen hands who kept the kettles boiling and the dishes sparkling. √ All those who attended and participated so willingly and generously in the morning’s activities and to those we’ve inadvertently neglected to mention!

As a result of such a wonderful combined effort from everyone, a grand total of $4,529 will be donated to the WA Cancer Council. Many thanks from the committee for ABMT 2018.

49 – Lauris Berry

Photos from Australia’s “Biggest” Morning Tea

80 people attended this event. All the organisers from left to right – Margaret Staddle, Helen Teasdale, Kaye Martin, Larraine Brickell, Robyn Woodward, Robyn Rowe, Val McIntosh, Jan Siney, Lauris Berry, Carole Ford, Shirley Palmer, Betty Stern (Absent from photo- Judy Campbell)

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Photos from Australia’s “Biggest” Morning Tea

Betty Stern and Margaret Staddle selling raffle tickets

Lee Leach and Tony Krsticevic

“The Men’s Table” organised by Tony Krsticevic when he thought he might be the only man present

Pauline Marsden and John Abercrombie

Pat Dichiers looking very happy after sucessfully bidding for a dinner at Parliament House with Tony Krsticevic

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Some of the husbands hard at work in the kitchen

Shirley Palmer selling tickets

ABBA and Lauris auctioned off a tennis racquet, vouchers for meals, Patti’s quilt, beauty treatments, Fitbits

After Retirement.

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s we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to “Make a difference” in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other “Seniors” who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person: When Harold was interviewed he said: “I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you do now that you’re retired?’ Well.– I’m fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine. It’s rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it.”

Harold is an inspiration to us all.

– Thanks to Jan Paniperis for this contribution

Some of Our Volunteers

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n our August 2015 newsletter we mentioned that Curtin University was running a number of studies looking at the health and wellbeing of Australian seniors. These studies are aimed at providing a snapshot of the current physical and mental wellbeing of seniors and assess attitudes to a range of health issues including diet, exercise, social interaction, and community interaction. They have established that volunteering improves both your physical and mental well-being. So keep volunteering!!!

We are extremely fortunate that in our Club we have more than a hundred members who volunteer their time and expertise. An analysis of the hours spent shows that our volunteers work is worth more than $500 000 per annum.

In this newsletter we would like to say a big thank you to some of our volunteers. If 52

you are a volunteer and did not get a mention I apologise!

The Thumbs-up Club Have you ever wondered why our gardens and surrounds are always neat and attractive? Well you need to thank Gavan Ebsworth, Colin Bangs, Denis Croker, Bob Jeffs, Roger Haber, Peter McIntosh, Alan Gallagher, Ray Stapledon, Robyn Rowe and Tony Bourne.

Helping our Croquet Club John Sturk spent several hours erecting a boundary fence around the Croquet green and Spider Webb re-painted their sign. Thank you both.

Office Gate-keepers We now have a roster of Volunteers who attend the Club on different days to open up, answer phones and take messages. They are known as Office Gate Keepers and are Lindsay Baker, Kerry Bomford Tony Friedlieb, Ken Giles, Mike Hodge, Glen and Trish McCarthy, Di McGivern, Roger Palmer, Robyn Rowe, Tony Sabatino, Ray Stapledon, and Ron Taylor Dash for Cash When the Dash for Cash Men’s event is held on the last Friday of the month Ladies provided morning tea and a soup/roll lunch. They are Lorraine Hyde, Carmel Hyde, Coral Smith, Wendy Saul, Jan Cook, Pauline Bourne and Val McIntosh. Thank you, Ladies, it is very much appreciated.

Umpires, Measurers and Markers What would we do without all our Umpires, Measurers and Markers. We now have the following members who are all qualified: National Umpires – Brian Clausen, Gavan Ebsworth, Derry Ellis, Tony Friedlieb, Jim Ironside, Geoff Murray, Graeme O’Brien, Jim Portwood, Ray Slimper, Evan Cosh, Dan Greig and Ray Stapledon, Jan Cook, Sharon Eggers, Jan Paniperis, Nerrida Porteous Measurers – Russell Lockwood, John Sturk, Alan Gallagher.

Markers – Judy Campbell, John Sturk Our Coaches At present we have four qualified coaches - Brian Clausen, Bruce Eagles, Ray Stapledon and Charmain Harris. Remember if you need help contact one of the above.

Our Governing Council and other Office Bearers On behalf of all our members we thank you for the many hours you all devote to our 53

Club. Your efforts are one of the main reason Sorrento has done so well over many years. We however still need some volunteers for the following: • another member for the Men’s Match Committee.

• someone to assist Barry Stewart on Sponsorship • some more Greens Volunteers.

• more Bar Volunteers (RSA Required) • a Facebook Co-ordinator and • a Website Assistant.

Our e-newsletter and Website We need to thank Denis Croker for all the work he does on our new website and our e-newsletter. Jan Paneperis has recently joined Denis as an assistant.

Our Quarterly Newsletter Thanks to Neville and Denise Odell who continue to produce our Quarterly newsletter. At the recent Clubs WA Awards evening Neville Odell received an award for his and Denise’s outstanding efforts in producing, for over a decade, one of Australia’s best presented club newsletters.

Our 2018/19 Fixture Book Thanks to Trevor Orton and Lee Leach who produced our new Fixture Booklet. This is a very time consuming job! Trevor tells me he spent at least 12 hours with the formatting and ensuring all the events were correctly scheduled Windows Colin Campbell is still keeping our windows nice and clean once a month. Thank you, Colin.

Social Groups We also have Volunteers who look after social groups who hire the Club and like to have a game of bowls and they spend many evenings on the green showing people how to bowl. They are Bob and Shelley Jeffs, Lorraine and Carmel Hyde, Shirley and Roger Palmer, Derry Ellis, Phil Bilich, Evan Cosh, Frank Bomford, Brian Staples, Ian Wittber, Alan Wood, Glenn McCarthy, Tony Bourne, Alan Walton, Alan Susta and Monique Kopec.

Occupational Health Judith Skeet is currently our OH&S Officer. Judith keeps an eye on our defribrillator and our health and safety. .

Chase the Joker I would also like to mention our MC on Friday evenings at the Club. Kevin Coffey, 54

who does a great job running Chase the Joker along with Margaret and Keith Cooper who do the meat raffle.

– Ken Giles

An Exceptional Volunteer

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he one thing about Robyn Rowe is that you are never at a loss as to whether she’s in the Club or not because you can always hear her laugh or her voice! You can also be assured that if you need a helping hand to do ANYTHING, she’ll be there offering to make you a coffee, take out mats, sweep up, repot plants, ANYTHING!!

She’s a little incapacitated at the moment, having recently had a hip operation, however I noticed the other day that she attended (along with a lot of other people), the meeting for the membership drive.

She works in the garden, makes sure that the other gardeners have a cake on the first Monday of every month, came up with the idea for the Cancer Foundation Big Morning Tea, last year she made up the numbers on the Match Committee and was always on hand to help out and this year she was elected to the Match Committee.

She is indeed an asset to the Club and an exceptional Volunteer.

– Jan Paniperis

Coral’s Minestrone Soup

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oral Smith’s Minestrone Soup proved to be very popular at the recent Dash for Cash. When I asked her whether she “just threw all the ingredients into a pot, she was slightly offended and said that she had an actual recipe which she had got from Jean Baker.

She was then asked by both Ross Cunningham and your Editor to type it up. Coral tells me that this serves four people.

Ingredients 1 ½ tablespoons olive oil 1 onion diced 250g bacon diced 1 carrot diced 2 celery stalks diced 1 litre of beef stock 400g can of diced tomatoes 2 tablespoons tomato paste 55

1 cup small pasta shells ½ cup frozen peas 1 zucchini diced 1 cup of water 400g can of cannellini beans rinsed grated parmesan cheese (to serve) Method 1. Heat olive oil in large saucepan. Cook bacon, onion and celery for 3 minutes until bacon has browned and vegetables have softened.

2. Add stock, canned tomato and tomato paste. Bring to the boil.

3. Reduce heat and simmer covered for 25 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Stir occasionally.

4. Add pasta, peas, zucchini and water. Boil uncovered for 8 – 10 minutes.

5. Stir through beans. Serve topped with grated parmesan cheese.

Joker Feedback.

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id you know that “Chase the Joker” reached $4700 as of Friday 10 August 2018?

Support has been outstanding over the winter period and weekly pay outs of $130 minimum have seen many lucky winners. The “Elusive Joker” is still there for the picking as well as 2 Aces worth $50 each.

Thanks for the ongoing support and a special thanks to Bob, Judy and Frank for their role in making the “Chase the Joker” a highly successful weekly event at YOUR Club.

– Kevin Coffey

Talk by the Office of the Public Advocate

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t was wonderful to see approximately 60 people (40 members and 20 outsiders) turn up for the talk by the Office of the Public Advocate.

Debra Casey from the OPA gave a very detailed and informative talk on the differences between an Enduring Power of Attorney, an Enduring Power of Guardianship and an Advance Health Directive and the relative duties of an Attorney and a Guardian. She also handed out a folder with all the relevant details and contacts.

I would urge everyone who attended the talk to study their files and after discussion with close family members (and friends) to make an informed decision as to whether 56

they need an EPA, EPG and an AHD and if they do, then to choose wisely who will look after their affairs if or when they are incapable of making their own decisions.

The Information Talks seem to have run their course as ideas for talks seem to have dried up. However, Jan has said that if someone comes up with a good idea for a future talk then she will try and organise it.

– Jan Paniperis

Confidence

Remember that Comfort, Concentration and Consistency will nurture Confidence.

These great words are from the latest Women’s Bowls NSW Magazine. These words apply to anyone who plays a sport not just lawn bowls.

You need to believe in yourself, believe in your practice and the commitment you have put in under all types of weather and different paced greens. Be positive and think positively and always have a positive attitude with both your thoughts and your play.

– Extract from the Women’s Bowls NSW Magazine.

Women’s Selection Report

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elcome ladies to the new Bowling season. I’m hoping you are all revived and looking forward to the coming year. We are once again fielding four divisions on Tuesday and two on Saturday.

Pennant training will commence on Monday 8 October at 1.30pm and will continue throughout the season on every Monday. Coaching will also be available on these days.

The first practice match will be at Sorrento on Tuesday 9 October at 9.00am followed by others on the 16 and 23 October and these will commence 9.30 for 10.00am start.

Our Selection Committee for the coming year is Jan Cook (Chairperson), Kath Harris, Cheryl Greig, Anne Lilley and Coral Smith. Any worries or concerns are to be taken to the Committee and they will be dealt with accordingly. Hoping you have a very successful and fulfilling year.

– Jan Cook Note from your Editors: Apologies that this article is right at the end but it arrived after the newsletter was formatted.

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