Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 75 December 2018

Sorrento Bowling Club’s Christmas Magazine

Pauline Bourne, Chris Lander and Liz Marshall representing Bowls WA in Adelaide

Number 75 December 2018

Contents Around Our Club From Your Editors A Christmas dream –What I want from Santa Around the Club – Continued Sponsor’s Report Men’s Captain’s Report Coaches Corner Critters Return to Fold The Crow/raven with the Wonky Tail Is it a toucher? Our Annual Cancer Day The Joy of Traditions! Opening Day 16 September 2018 Croquet Corner News Our Opening Day Croquet in Action Not quite the lift I needed Snakes Alive The Story of Brian Clausen’s Missing Bowls Sorrento Bowling Club Never Better! Some More of Our Volunteers Our Annual Fashion Parade The Shinju Matsuri Mixed Fours, Broome 2018 Australian 2018 Senior Sides Championships Inner Peace 25 Thoughts to Get You Through Almost Any Crisis Senior Texting Codes! Beyond Blue Day How Volatile is Sorrento’s Membership? Graph of Member Numbers 2006 to 2108 Getting to Know Our Members Vale Joy NSE Our Melbourne Cup Day Some Nostalgia from the Archives

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Around Our Club Peter “Petal” Morgan wearing Snowy’s cap Tiger Hogan and John Godfrey trying to fathom out the intricacies of modern technology

Above: May and Bill Leyland enjoying drinks at our new tables and chairs with their friends Ralph and Rita Woodhouse and Bridget Allan

Our newest coach, Charmain Harris. She missed the previous photo of our coaches

Been raining for a week so rusty! Anybody got some WD40 ? Guess who? This couple have just celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary

From Your Editors Welcome We hope you enjoy reading our Christmas magazine. Denise and I wish all our readers a very happy Christmas and a great 2019. Some of you may wonder why our quarterly newsletter is now a “magazine”. Well this was due to a suggestion from Trevor Orton who thought this would reduce confusion between our Club’s enewsletter and this magazine. Our last “Quarterly Newsletter” had 876 clicks from readers. It was interesting to see that, according to our web-site, we have readers in the USA (53 clicks), the UK (17 clicks) and even a few readers in Canada and Indonesia. Thanks to Denis Croker the pages now turn like a book when you read the magazine on the internet. Some readers have had difficulty getting this feature to work on their devices especially I-Pads. If you have a problem please tell Denis as we are still trying to get members to read the newsletter electronically so that we may reduce the number of printed copies. It is also important to view this magazine in the Adobe two page format so that the Opening Day group photo is correctly displayed.

A Christmas dream –What I want from Santa A Sorrento lady bowler, One of the Pennant team, She had a sort of vision, A sort of Christmas dream.

And while you’re at it Santa, Some coloured bowls quite pretty, I want a set with magnets in, That’ll draw right up to Kitty.

Where Santa said, “My Darling!, You’ve been a good girl all the year, Make a list of things you love, And things that you hold dear.

And I want a brand new bowls bag, (And a “caddie bloke” as well), To wheel it up and down the green, So’s I can have a spell.

Don’t hold back on things you want, Tell me what you may, And I will bring your heart’s desire, Posthaste on Christmas Day.”

Oh! Yes! Santa - I want sticky tape, To put on my Skipper’s lip, So she doesn’t roar at me , When a ‘wobbler’ seems to slip.

Well! Gertie took a quick deep breath, As all good bowlers do, She thought of all her wildest dreams, And how they might come true.

And when they draw the raffle, My number disappears, Dear Santa, couldn’t I win it once, It’s been about ten years.

She said, “ I want some new bowls gear, Not white as you would think, But lacy shorts with a frilly top, In shades of deep hot pink.

Finally, about my husband Santa, He’s forgotten I’m his wife, Could you work some sort of magic, And bring him back to life.”

And I want to change my headgear, For a Paris model hat, Not that floppy bloody white thing, With badges front and back.

Santa looked all worried, As Gertie’s claims grew weird, That Christmas dream was shattered, And Santa disappeared.

And how about some high heels, To strut along the green, They’d make me look much taller, More like a beauty queen.

Then poor Gertie woke up, Her dream was up the pole, And a voice said, “Wake up Gertie! It’s your turn next to bowl!” – Grahame ‘Skew Wiff’ Watt

Please send articles, letters, “Did you know/hear to us as we are always looking for contributions to our quarterly newsletter/magazine. We have some regular contributors and we again thank them for their great articles. So remember if you have any contributions please forward them to us.

Apologies Apologies for getting the list of Office Bearers wrong but we did circulate it before publication but none of the recipients picked up the errors. Where are you Pauline? You would have found the errors in your previous capacity as Office Manager. Finally we would like to thank: • Jim Woodward for his latest contribution. It is great to have a professional journalist who contributes on a regular basis. • Ian Wittber who contributed to our “Some Nostalgia from the Past” pages. • Brian Lucas and Trevor Orton who are always prepared to assist with interesting information and well written articles. • Jan Paniperis who continues to proof read our newsletter. • Denis Croker for his help and excellent photographs. • All our other contributors. Some more “Did you hear” and “Did you know”? Did you know that saving a penalty kick in soccer is very challenging? A goal keeper can cover about 9% of the goal at a time and kickers shoot the soccer ball at around 100 kph. Only about 10% of shots are blocked in professional games. What percentage of full blooded drives on the bowling green achieve the planned objective? Did you know that every week Terry Parker travels from Kingsley to Fremantle as he volunteers his services at Tuart Place? This organisation is the West Australian resource service for adults who were in any type of out-ofhome care during childhood, including foster care and children’s homes. Their governing body is Forgotten Australians Coming Together Inc. (F.A.C.T.). Terry is pictured alongside and is on the left. Well done Terry! Did you hear about Ray Stapledon and Ron Burroughs’s big win in a Nominated Pairs competition? They each won $120. Ray decided to buy a $20 Lotto ticket with his win

Around the Club – Continued

Some of our top players demonstrating how to get the bowl close to the jack

Semi-finalists in Mixed Fours: Shelley and Bob Jeffs, with Stan and Robyn Van Mosseveld

Semi-finalists in Mixed Fours: Brad Williams, Jan Paniperis, Denis Croker and Carmel Hyde

nings. Unfortunately on the next day he received a speeding fine for $100 for travelling at 67 in a 60 kph zone. The Lotto ticket was a dud but at least he broke even! Did you hear that Mary Rolls got an exercise bike as her 50th Wedding Anniversary present? Alan said that he didn’t buy her a real bike because he was worried that she might ride off and never return! Did you know that to burn off four pork spare ribs in barbeque sauce (360 calories) you need to play bowls for 1 hour and 50 minutes (385 calories)? Thanks to Marie Smart who sent in this useful bit of information. Did you hear about one of our members who sold his bowls on Gumtree because he could not get them close to the jack? An unsuspecting new member purchased these bowls and is currently retraining them! Did you hear that on a recent trip to his son’s horse stud in New Zealand, Jim Ironside narrowly avoided being kicked by one his son’s racehorses because he did not stick to the ‘pecking order’ while feeding a group of four in one of the paddocks? Apparently thoroughbred race horses, like our Skippers, need to be treated with respect and not messed around. In some toilets the pecking order is very clear!

Did you know that Bowls Australia and long-time partner BCiB Insurance Brokers have inked a new contract that will see BCiB installed as the naming rights partner of the sport’s national team. Under the agreement, the sport’s top-tier high-performance squad will be officially known as the BCiB Australian Jackaroos. 10

Did you hear that Trevor Orton’s estimate of the number of lollies in the cookie jar was the closest? There were actually 458 lollies in the jar and his guess of 426 was the nearest. Well done Trevor.

Mine...all mine!

Trevor applied a mathematical formula by counting one layer and then multiplying by an estimate of the number of layers. Kevin Coffey just missed out with his guess of 1327! Thanks to Robyn Rowe who organised this competition to raise funds for the Cancer Council.

Did you know that there is a sport called TRUGO? It’s a mix of croquet, golf, lawn bowls and a hammer. This unusual game, that sprung from Melbourne’s railway yards, is trying to attract new fans. Players take a thick rubber ring, balance it upright, and then swing a rubber-tipped wooden mallet between their legs to try and hit the ring between two posts. Oh, and you do all this facing backwards for some reason. Research says that trugo was invented in the late 1920s by Tom Grieves, a Yarraville railwayman and first president of the Victoria Trugo Association. The story goes that he was bored one day, and started using his mallet to hit rubber rings that were used as shock absorbers inside railway buffers. Did you know that the Men’s Scrounger’s final was won by Frank Tyson? Frank played an outstanding brand of draw bowls to edge out Paul Kain in the final. Last year’s winner Alan “Dreads” Walton ran third. Frank then represented Sorrento in the King Scrounger event at North Beach in September but he unfortunately lost in the play off. Did you know that Sorrento had a team playing the Winter Pennants at Stirling’s new indoor facility this year between May and August? The competition was extremely strong with ten clubs of two teams of fours playing weekly over nine rounds. The teams comprised a few regulars from Sorrento namely: Egon Mikolajczyk (the team manager), Phil Bilich (who played every game), Alan Walton (one of the best Skippers) plus 11

Notice Outside a Second Hand Shop

We buy, sell and exchange all bowling equipment and accessories – Why not bring along your wife or husband and get a wonderful bargain! –Gavan Ebsworth

Derry Ellis, Chris Lander, Trevor Orton, Peter Morgan, Steve Draper who filled in when needed. Sorrento managed a 4th place in the second round. Did you know that on the third Monday of each month there is a Seniors (Over 50) Lightening Mixed Drawn Fours Carnival at Osborne Park Bowling Club? It is a great way to spend a Monday. There is normally an entry form on our notice board. Did you know that in 1981 Prince Charles got married; Liverpool were crowned soccer Champions of Europe; Australia lost the Ashes, and the Pope died? In 2005 Prince Charles got married; Liverpool were crowned soccer Champions of Europe; Australia lost the Ashes, and the Pope died. So the next time Prince Charles gets married maybe someone should warn the Pope! Conversely if the Pope dies maybe Camilla should be warned that her days as a royal are numbered! Did you know that we have an ambidextrous bowler in our Club? New member Les Burnett is equally adept in the use of both hands and plays all his bowls using his forehand. He just swops hands. This gives a whole new meaning to “bowling round the clock”. – Denise and Neville Odell

Sponsor ’s Report New Sponsor We are thrilled that the Glengarry Shopping Centre has agreed to a sponsorship. Their sign is now over the bar. There are 21 specialist stores providing a varied shopping opportunity. Don’t forget Egoli are also in this centre. Pest Management Please note that Darren Ebsworth of A&O Pest Management Services has put together some “Spring Specials” for members. Please see their advert on page 26 and throughout the Club in the plastic frames. Sponsored Named Events Since the last report we have had the following named events: • Safeway Security Dash for Cash • Bowra Panel and Paint Nominated Pairs • Dion Smith Accounting Nominated Pairs • A&O Automotive Nominated Pairs • The Tony Krsticevic Opening Day 12

• Egoli Place of Gold Nominated Pairs • Balcatta Mowers Divorced Pairs More information on these events is included in the Match Committee reports. We thank our Sponsors for their on-going support. We have a number of Sponsors who have supported us for many years. Les Roberts of Duncraig Physiotherapy has supported us since 2002. Lucky draw The monthly lucky draw winners are as follows: • August 2018 Kevin Kennedy who supported Brads Barber Shop • September 2018 Kim Scantlebury who supported Duncraig Fresh IGA • October 2018 Denise Odell who supported Eyes On Optometrists – Barry Stewart

Men’s Captain’s Report

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he 2018/2019 Season and Club Championships are well under way. We have had some mixed results in the Men’s Pennant so far but there is a long way to go. I must say that our Division 2 Blue have started really well with two wins and 16 points, so keep it going guys we want you up in Division 1 Blue next year. The photo on page 14 is of our Men’s Premier League team. It is great to have a 1 Red team for the first time in 42 years. On a sour note we have had a problem in running the Mixed Pairs where people have pulled out at the last minute. One couple withdrew after seeing the draw on the Friday night and just crossed their name off because they didn’t like who they were playing against. This is not the correct procedure. If you want to withdraw you must inform the Match Committee. This also goes for the Pennant board. The only people who can change the boards are the selectors. One couple withdrew because of sickness, which is understandable, but to withdraw on the day for no reason is not acceptable. It just makes the Match Committee’s job so much harder. To all our volunteers, thank you for all you do for our Club. I could not name everyone as there are so many. You all do a wonderful job and it’s very much appreciated. We could not exist without you. Congratulations to Chris Lander, Pauline Bourne and Liz Marshall for their inclusion in the Western Australian over 60’s team with Pauline and Liz winning silver medals. The three of you have not only done yourselves proud, but also Sorrento Bowling Club. 13

Back Row: Middle Row: Front Row:

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Allan Barron, Bruce Eagles, Greg Taylor, Rhett Butler, Lance (Mike) Martin, Richard Bone Brian Lucas, Shane Loftus, Tim Murray, Murray Hulbert, Geoff Murray Club President John Abercrombie, Peter Morgan, Chris Lander, Pat Murray, Ross Cunningham, Bryce Gunson and Club Captain John Godfrey

Our 1 Red Men’s Pennant Team 2018/19

Many thanks to my Men’s Committee: John Farmer, Trevor Orton, Rob Tozer, Derry Ellis, Ken Giles, Jim Ironside, John Murphy, Murray Newman, Brian Clausen and Warren Elliott for all the work they do to help our Club. You are a great bunch of guys who make my job that much easier. Christmas and New Year is almost upon us, so I would like to extend my best wishes to all members for a wonderful and joyous festive season and hope you enjoy your break with family and friends over Christmas and New Year. I look forward to seeing you all in 2019. Best Wishes, – John Godfrey

Men’s Match Committee Report Bowra Panel and Paint Nominated Pairs

BOWRA PANEL and PAINT were assigned as the sponsor of the Nominated Pairs event played on Saturday 11 August. This match was originally scheduled for the previous Saturday, but was rescheduled due to rain. BOWRA also donated a water bottle for all players present. A strong field of 56 bowlers attended on one of the rare fine and sunny days of the winter season.

The scoring method was changed for this and future Saturday nominated pairs events, with winners now determined by ends won, then “bonuses” (where more than 3 shots were scored on an end), then shots up if there is a tie for any position. Three teams managed to win 16 of the 24 ends played, with “bonuses” used to separate the place getters. 1st Phil (“Spider”) Webb and Glen (“Macca”) McCarthy 16 ends and 4 bonuses 2nd Mickey(“Lance”) Martin and Danny (“Diesel”) Condon 16 ends and 3 bonuses 3rd Alan (“Dreads”) Walton and Steve (“Dennis”) Draper 16 ends and 2 bonuses Rd 1 Brian (“Bluey”) Saul and Colin (“The Collector”) Cramond Rd 2 Frank (“Test-tube”) Tyson and Peter (“Petal”) Morgan 15

Dash for Cash #4, 2018

A magnificently warm and sunny day greeted the 80 bowlers who entered August’s edition of SAFEWAY SECURITY SCREENS’ Dash for Cash. Included in the 80 bowlers were 28 bowlers from other Clubs; again demonstrating the wide popularity of these events. Special thanks to Anne Orton who helped enter all the results into a computer spread sheet.

A team of volunteer “Soup Ladies” led by Jan Cook provided plenty of morning tea and several varieties of soup as nourishment for the hungry participants.

Four matches of nine ends each were played, and no team won all four matches. Two teams did, however, manage three wins and a draw, so they shared the major prize money. Full results were:1st Overall: P Bilich, R Tillitson, M McCavana, M Rollings with 3½ wins + 16 shots pictured alongside. 2nd Overall: T Hogan, D Ellis, E Mikolajczyk, B Kiely 3rd Overall: M Dragicevich, L Richardson, C Jasper, J Carlsen 4th Overall: M Korycin, A Elmer, B Saul, I Linford Round 1: J Mola, K Cooper, B Williams, R Tozer Round 2: W Elliott, R Stapledon, R Cunningham, C Lander 16

3½ wins +13 shots 3 wins +14 shots 3 wins + 13 shots +12 shots + 9 shots

Round 3: S Smith, S Cavanagh, L Johnson, B Crawford Round 4: N Odell, D Croker, P Kain, T Orton

+ 18 shots + 13 shots

Dion Smith Accounting Nominated Pairs

On Saturday 1 September we played the DION SMITH ACCOUNTING Nominated Pairs. A good roll up for this event saw Colin Campbell and John Collishaw take out the first prize. Dion was there on the day and provided some additional prizes for the event. Thanks to Dion for his on-going support as a Sponsorship Partner. A&S Automotive Nominated Pairs

The A&S AUTOMOTIVE Nominated Pairs was held on Saturday 15 September. Again a well attended event with the good weather ensuring there would be slick greens to play on. The winners of this event were John Brown and Richard Bone. Please support Steve Murray next time you need work done on your car. Tony Krsticevic Opening Day The annual Des Bennett Trophy (named in honour of much-loved life member, Des Bennett), was again contested on Opening Day, 15 September. Almost 100 bowlers turned out to represent the Women’s team led by Sharon Eggers and the Men’s team led by John Godfrey. Two matches of 11 ends were played, on lightning-fast greens, 17

under partly cloudy skies and cool conditions. Of the 26 matches contested, the men won 12 and the women 14. But it was the winning margins that determined the result, with a couple of big wins resulting in the women triumphing by 297 to 256 shots. This brings up a hat-trick of wins, in the Des Bennett Trophy, to the women. Big winners of the day were the rink of Mike Hodge, Vonnie King, Wendy Saul and Trevor Orton (Women) by 28 shots, and by Beryl Tutt, Steve Bomford, Allan Gallagher and Marie Smart (Women) by 21 shots. The best the Men could manage was a 12-shot win. (The Men actually led by 9 shots after the first round of matches, but obviously tired as the day went on!) Thanks to the organisers led by Sharon and John, and the numerous volunteers who helped the day run so smoothly. 100 Up The inaugural Sorrento Men’s 100-Up Championship was held on the Queen’s Birthday long weekend, and attracted a field of 48 bowlers. Sectional play was held on the Saturday, with elimination matches played on the Monday. The weather was fine and sunny and the greens running at 15-16 seconds on each day. The sixteen section winners were Wayne Gray, Danny Condon, Denis Croker, Trevor Orton, Brad Williams, Phil “Spider” Webb, Brian Lucas, Bruce Eagles, Rob Tozer, Paul Kain, Brian Clausen, Evan Cosh, Shane Rixom, Ross Cunningham, Bob Jeffs and Jim Ironside. After two sets of elimination matches, Trevor Orton played Bruce Eagles in one semi-final and Brian Clausen played Jim Ironside in the other. Bruce won his match comfortably, and Brian a little less comfortably, and therefore were pitted against each other in the final. The final was played on Thursday 27 September, with Bruce emerging victo18

rious 102-88 in a high-quality final. Congratulations to Bruce, on becoming the first of what promises to be many Sorrento Men’s 100-Up championship events in the future. Mixed Fours Championship It is hard to imagine a more exciting finish to a match than the one that eventuated on Sunday 14 October. With scores tied after the 15 ends of the final, an extra end was required. And it was the final bowl, the 128th of the match, that turned the match from a likely loss to a win for Pauline Marsden, Brian Lucas, Juris Lorencs and Barbara Lorencs. Barbara’s team had clawed back from a 6-14 score-line after 10 ends to tie the match by winning the last five ends to level the scores at 14-14. Barbara’s final bowl moved the jack, turning a one-shot deficit into a one-shot victory. Barbara’s team defeated Frank Tyson, Lee Leach, Nerrida Porteous and Bruce Eagles who had dominated both sectional and knockout matches leading up to the final.

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The defeated semi-finalists were Carmel Hyde, Jan Paniperis, Denis Croker and Brad Williams, who were beaten by Bruce Eagles’ rink, and Shelley and Bob Jeffs, with Stan and Robyn Van Mosseveld who lost to the Lorencs team. Thanks to all who played, and in particular the semi-finalists and finalists who had to endure cool, cloudy and occasionally showery conditions to play. – Trevor Orton

Women’s Match Committee Report Egoli Place of Gold Nominated Pairs Wednesday 19 September saw our final Nominated Pairs for the winter of 2018. This was event was sponsored by Egoli Place of Gold whom we thank for their generosity,

We had a great turnout for the game with 28 teams taking part and the weather was kind to us for the afternoon game.. Prize winners were: First prize Brian Saul/John Brown, 2nd prize Brian Clausen/Trevor Orton 3rd prize Brian Collins/Brian Lucas 4th prize Emily Dunn/Russ Fishwick Everyone enjoyed their afternoon and we finished off the day with a sausage sizzle prepared for us by Alan Susta whom we thank very much. Also a thank you to all the members who came along and supported our games throughout the winter months. Wednesdays Nominated Pairs will start again in May of 2019 and our first game will be a sponsored event. Balcatta Mowers Divorced Pairs Wednesday 26 September saw a great day with a full house playing the Balcatta Mowers Divorced Pairs. A big thank you to them for their sponsorship donation to our prize money. 20

Three full greens with 68 members taking part on a beautiful sunny day at Sorrento. Everyone enjoyed the day, it was just perfect for showing off some excellent bowling, with a couple of teams actually scoring 8 shots up on one of their ends. Prize winners were: AM Winner’s prize of $50 PM Winner’s prize of $50 Overall Runners Up Our Overall Winners

Jim Ironside and Barbara Hill. Cheryl Greig and Collin Jasper win and an amazing 23 shots up to win their last game of the day. Trevor Orton and Lee Leach with a score of 4 points and 17 shots up taking home $80 between them. Peter Balcombe and Jan Siney with a score of 4 points and 20 shots up and they were awarded $70 each for their victory

A fantastic day with everyone enjoying a sausage sizzle at the end prepared for us by Alan Susta and Judy Campbell. Thank you to them and also to my Match Committee for their help in organising the day. Warwick Ladies’ Gala Day Winners

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Congrat ulations to our ladies who continue to do well in Gala Days. Lee Leach, Coral Smith, Pauline Marsden and Carmel Hyde winning the first prize at the Warwick Ladies’ Gala Day.

Eyes On Optometrists by G&M Eyecare – Same Faces, Same Service, Strong Partnership

Gary and his team have developed a loyal following in their local community and continue to deliver a unique optical and eyecare experience. More recently, they have partnered with George & Matilda Eyecare; a new business model for eyecare in Australia. Our mission is simple: to bring the benefits of scale to the best independent Optometrists, so that every Australian has access to the highest quality eye care and vision. The name George & Matilda was carefully chosen to embody the values and vision of the brand, with ‘George’ representing the first high street in Australia, brimming with entrepreneurial spirit and local business values, to symbolise forward thinking and George & Matilda Eyecare’s link to modern Australia. ‘Matilda’ has become synonymous with the Australian outback and represents the side of the brand’s personality that is trustworthy, friendly and warm. Whilst we have a new business name; Eyes On Optometrists by G&M Eyecare in Duncraig and Currambine are still the same people, in the same place, who continue to deliver the same high level of eyecare and professional service that you have always known. To make an appointment, call the practice or you can now book online at www.georgeandmatilda.com.au Duncraig Shop: 19 Duncraig Shopping Centre, Marri Road. Phone 08 9246 1112 Currambine Shop: 7 Currambine Marketplace, Marmion Av. Phone 08 9304 0506 22

Women’s Pairs Championship Our Women’s Pairs event took place in October. This season we reduced the ends to 13 for the sectional play and 15 for knockout play, hoping that more women would enter the competition. In the semi-final Moira Dean and Kaye Martin played against Kath Harris and Barbara Hill and Sharon Eggers and Lee Leach played against Nerrida Porteous and Coral Smith. Feedback from the spectators say it was a pleasure to watch both these games as it was a very close match on both sides, but in the end it was Kath Harris and Barbara Hill who went through to meet Nerrida Porteous and Coral Smith for the final game. In the final Nerrida and Coral took over the play right from the start with multiple shots scored in the first few ends, making it hard for Kath and Barbara to catch up and Nerrida and Coral went through to win the Club Pairs Championship for 2018. Congratulations to Nerrida and Coral and thank you to all the women who took part in this event, it is good to see a decent number of entries for our Club championships. – Lee Leach

Coaches Corner

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his article covers the question of playing on slow greens after previously having played on fast greens and looking at a method of adjustment.

Firstly, it’s highly important to maintain our process of delivery. That is the style of delivery we’ve developed and in general stands us in good stead during play. It’s important also to recognise that the green is heavy and is not likely to change, so it’s up to us to change and develop an approach that suits the condition. Given that our body movements are slower for the fast greens and faster for the slow greens we need to develop an approach that achieves the necessary body movement without compromising our delivery style. Our body movement is controlled not by strength and muscle, but by our mental approach to where we want our bowl to finish. For example on the slow green select a 23

spot one mat length behind the jack to play to. This simple mental expectation will automatically increase our body speed while maintaining our normal delivery process. Conversely by having a mental approach of playing to the jack on fast greens will slow our body movement down. Try it and let me know how it feels. Having an understanding of the shoulder for the various paced greens will also be of assistance. Should anyone wish to discuss any feature of the above article further, don’t hesitate to get in touch on 0417 977 240. Good bowling. – Brian Clausen.

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Umpire’s Corner

he Bowls Australia Policy covering artificial devices such as wheelchairs, walking frames and ‘bowlers arms’ has recently been updated. The policy contains specifications that are required for wheelchairs and walking frames to meet the appropriate level of surface protection of greens. An application to Bowls WA is required for the use of wheelchairs, walking sticks and walking frames, to ensure compliance with specifications. The policy also covers the use of approved ‘bowlers arms’ including the process of applying for approval to use one with an appropriate medical certificate. Players cannot use an artificial bowlers arm in Bowls Australia or Bowls WA controlled events (including Pennants) without a Bowls WA approval certificate. The updated policy also reverses the previous policy that allowed approved bowling arms to be used, or not used, during a game as a player desired. The updated policy now requires that if a player commences using a bowling arm during a game, the player must continue to use it for the remainder of the game. This does not apply to the rolling of the jack, which can be rolled either by hand or by a bowlers arm. The Policy, the list of approved ‘bowlers arms and the application form for its use are all available through the Bowls WA website. -– Jim Ironside

Critters Return to Fold

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he Sorrento Bowling Club is pleased to welcome back two of its long-term members. Ian Linford (“Foxy”) returns, after moving to Mandurah, but with plans to return to Perth and Peter Crow (“Crowie”) who returns after a stint at the Osborne Park Bowling Club. Both members have a long history with Sorrento and bring not only their good membership but also great bowling prowess. Welcome back. – Neville Odell 24

The Crow/raven with the Wonky Tail

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t would not have escaped too many members’ notice that we had a Crow (actually a Raven), whose tail was at an odd angle and who could not fly too far, roaming around the grounds of the Club for the past month or so. The only reason he lasted so long was that his mother continuously fed him – that’s what mothers do! Anyway, the observant ones amongst you may have noticed that he is no longer around the grounds. The reason why is that I arranged for a bird-rescue girl called Mandy to come and rescue him and today I got the following lovely message from her: “I gave the raven to Ivan, the raven expert, on Saturday afternoon. He ascertained that the tail was damaged and this was the reason he could not get off the ground. He is eating well and has his tail strapped to help with movement. Once his tail straightens he will join some other ravens to form a new colony in the country area, as it will be a while before he completely recovers, and he will lose his place in his original group – it’s a bird thing apparently! So, all good, well done for ringing me as he would have eventually starved to death but now he has a new life to look forward to.” – Jan Paniperis

Is it a toucher?

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or some years I served as a club umpire. Shortly after qualifying, my first assignment was ‘Umpire Of The Day’ during Country Week. I was called fairly early on and this was my very first adjudication as a qualified umpire. The following transpired: • The Skipper called his third to play an upshot at a bowl adjacent to the jack. • The bowl was played, hitting the opponent’s bowl causing the jack to spill, which hit the bank and rebounded into play. • On its further travel, the rebounding jack touched the upshot bowl. I then received a request – ‘Umpire, is the upshot bowl a toucher?’ With thought, trepidation and hope – I ruled it a toucher. – Philip Oldershaw 25

A&O Pest Management Services Spring Specials A&O Pest Management Services is a Western Australian owned and operated company, established in 2005. The company is run by Darren and Sarah Ebsworth. A&O Pest Management Services is fully licensed and insured. We have some great spring specials Spring Specials for Club Members. These are valid from 1st September to 30th November. They are as follows and are inclusive of GST: General pest spray to all exterior areas including sheds and garages $110 Termite inspection of whole property with report

$165

General pest spray & termite inspection with report

$220

Rodent baiting to roof voids

$110

Ant treatments to interior & exterior

$195

WARNING: In recent months there have been several groups running scams and pretending to be qualified pest controllers when in fact they have no experience at all. Please, if you ever have any doubt about a technician who is servicing your home, ask him to show you his Western Australian Health Department License as we are legally required to carry and present our license when asked, otherwise we face a large fine. The license looks similar to a Driver’s License but is purple and should have the hologram logo on it.

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Our Annual Cancer Day

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ell done to our social bowlers who raised $340 for the Cancer Council. As usual all green fees and prize money was donated and this was supplemented by a number of additional donations from members. The winners were Colin Hartridge, Bev Carrigy and Ian Johnston with Helen Eisenmann, Ken Evans and Beth McCormack as runners up. – Barbara Spence

The Joy of Traditions!

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little story to start your Christmas season in the right spirit. When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. When he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a glass of cider and a shot of rum. He went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’ And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. Not a lot of people know this. – Thanks to Ian Wittber for this contribution 28

Opening Day 16 September 2018

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eautiful spring sunshine and a fresh breeze heralded the Club’s 2018/19 Opening Day celebrations. Over 100 members and guests enjoyed morning tea before the official proceedings commenced. Brian Lucas, on behalf of president John Abercrombie, welcomed members and special guests comprising Club Patrons Tony Krsticevic (MLA for Carine) and Joondalup Mayor Albert Jacob who was accompanied by his wife Cecylia Jacob. He also welcomed Russ Fishwick (South Ward Counsellor), South-west Ward Counsellor Mike Norman and his wife Gazina, and Club life members who were able to join the celebration. Apologies had been received from Counsellors Sophie Dwyer and Christine Hamilton-Prime.

In his address, Brian referred to Opening Day as the symbolic closing of one chapter of the Club’s history and the opening of another. By anyone’s measure 2017/18 was another highly successful year for our Club. Highlights for the year included: • Winning Clubs WA and Bowls WA’s Club of the Year awards and becoming the first club of any kind to enter Clubs WA’s Hall of Fame; • Creating history when our Men’s 1st Division Thursday and Saturday teams won promotion to Premier Division; and • Our players, across the board, performing exceptionally well at a State and Association levels. 29

The 2018/19 season he said is shaping up as another stellar year. Already the envy of other clubs with almost one in four of our members as a regular volunteer. Over 40 of our volunteers worked tirelessly to make our September 2018 Welcome Day a great success, culminating in the signing of 130 new members and taking our total membership to over 700, achieving an important milestone of our Strategic Plan. Tony Krsticevic, a great supporter of Sorrento, responded reinforcing the strong presence that Sorrento occupies in the community and its reputation as a well-run and socially committed and responsible organisation. Mayor Albert Jacob commented on the success that Sorrento achieved in 2017/18 with the winning of awards; success in competition at a Club, team and individual level; and listing an impressive list of individual and team performances. He commented on the strong relationship between the Club and the City of Joondalup and the capital developments already in progress and those in the planning stages. Our visiting dignitaries then took to A-Green for the symbolic first rolling of the bowl and striking of the croquet mallet – with their competitive spirit clearly on display. Members and guests enjoyed yet another fabulous repast of salads, cold meats and dessert provided by our wonderful Silver Fern Caterers and a glass of bubbly before, thanks to the generosity of Tony Krsticevic, three lucky ticket draw winners enjoyed an extra bit of cash. Following lunch, 26 mixed teams played two games to determine the winner of the Des Bennett Memorial Trophy. The Red Team represented the Women’s Captain and the Blue Team the Men’s Captain. Competition was fierce given that the Men’s Captain’s team had won three of the last five encounters. After the results were tallied by Trevor Orton, Rob Tozer, Vice-President of Sports 30

and Participation, announced that the Des Bennett Memorial Trophy, by a margin of 30 shots, had been won by the Women’s Captain’s Side. A special thanks to people who helped with the organisation and the running of the day, ranging from the preparation of morning teas and lunches, greens, bar, match and selection, sponsorship and photography. Volunteers form a constant backbone of our Club and should always be recognised for their efforts. I wish all our members a wonderfully enjoyable, fulfilling and successful bowling season which is now under way and I look forward to seeing members frequenting the Club regularly. – Sharon Eggers

Croquet Corner News Some Croquet Did You Knows? • Did you know Chas and Hilary Brader celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary with a “Honeymoon” holiday to Bali in September. Heartiest congratulations to them both - what tolerance!! The banter you may hear between them on the court when they play against each other: “Darling, just remember who is driving you home” and a quick retaliation of “Darling, you just remember who is cooking your dinner tonight!”; then “I know how to use the microwave!” • Did you know Janet Fuller not only plays very good croquet, but she also dances in both Scottish and Morris Dancing Shows. She spent 10 days in Shanghai at the end of September participating in an International Display of Morris Dancing! We will have to get her to demonstrate at the Club one day. • Did you know new member, Jan Craddock, was the Year 1 teacher of Di McGivern’s granddaughter, Louise, who is now 26 years old and a practising lawyer in Perth! Small world! 31

Our Opening Day – Su

Tony K The Mayor of Joondalup Albert Jacob tries his hand at croquet and bowls 32

unday

16 September 2018

Krsticevic (MLA for Carine) trying to out-do the Mayor

Russ Fishwick (South Ward Counsellor) now retired has become a full time member of our Club 33

• Did you know Judith Skeet injured her shoulder (again) and has had to have surgery again to repair the damage – we look forward to welcoming Judith back onto the courts very soon. Events around the Clubs In July Janet Fuller and Kerry Bomford represented Sorrento in Geraldton’s Annual Tournament three-day competition and were supported by Sorrento’s own “cheer squad” in the form of Frank Bomford. Kerry performed very well by winning the Handicap Singles and being runner-up in her Block in the Level Play. Kerry was very excited to win money for the first time for playing croquet, but discovered that sadly it was not quite enough for her to retire! As a relatively new player in competitive croquet, Janet did well to place 5th in the Handicap and Level Play singles games; as well as in the Handicap Doubles with Kerry. The Geraldton Croquet Club hosted a dinner for the players and partners on the Sunday night to conclude the weekend. York (WA) Country GC Doubles – August Sorrento was well represented by three pairs in this competition having already lost Judith Skeet and Pat Hobson due to surgery on Judith’s shoulder. Trish Klemp, Di McGivern, Glenda Laidler, Kerry Bomford, Thora Lay and Janet Fuller were left to face many of our State Team in preparation for their competing in Adelaide in early September. While we all lost our games in the first round, Di and Trish ended up by being the runners-up in the Plate, having lost to the current State Doubles Champions in a very close 7-6 game. We all gained valuable experience by competing and the State Coach made time for some coaching where we needed it. Dorothy and Denis Bull hosted a wonderful BBQ for all players and their partners despite the temperature dropping to around 2 – 3 degrees Centigrade!! We couldn’t get back to our warm beds in our cosy accommodation at Swan Lodge quickly enough! Golf Croquet “Mini Golf” Fun Competition To make a change to our usual games of Golf Croquet, in August we held a “Mini-golf” fun competition wherein competitors played one game using standard croquet balls, and the next using brightly coloured golf balls! Individual scores were recorded cumulatively across the afternoon with the winner being presented with a drink voucher and a bag of lollies and with the runner-up receiving a bag of lollies. Terry Harvey won the Wednesday competition and Di McGivern the Saturday one. A delicious afternoon tea was provided by our generous members on both days. The event proved to be very popular (you could hear the giggles and laughter coming from all the games) and is likely to be repeated soon. 34

Coaching Day with State Coach, Marty Clarke, assisted by Matt Whitfield Whilst in York, Kerry took the opportunity to request a Coaching Day with Marty for our members. Marty very generously agreed to provide a three-hour session for a mere $5 per person – donating the money to the State Team to assist with their travel and accommodation expenses in Adelaide. The session was scheduled to be held from 10am to 1pm, but it was well after 2pm before Marty left! Eleven of our keen members participated and gained some very useful tips especially with regard to stalking, stance and stroke and to tactics that can be applied to different scenarios in competitive games. Welcome Day – Sunday 9 September The croquet sector is delighted with the enrolment of 14 additional members to its group; and takes this opportunity to remind long-standing and new members that ALL members are eligible, and encouraged, to play any of the sports offered in the Club. A good time to consider this may be the evening games that are played under lights during the summer months. We thank everyone who was involved in making this day the success it turned out to be – especially those who walked many, many steps to distribute the two sets of flyers. Croquetwest State Ricochet Singles Competition – September We received six entries for this competition, which with only one court, was almost at our capacity of 8 - 10. Four members of Sorrento entered – Kerry Bomford, Terry Harvey, Glenda Laidler and Di McGivern, Peter Hamilton from Como; and Brian Hadley from Cambridge. Sandy Boon from Nedlands entered but had to withdraw her entry. Each player played five timed games of 90mins over the two days.The State Champion is now Peter Hamilton, with Terry Harvey being a close runner-up. Congratulations to both competitors! Hall’s Head Autumn Ricochet Doubles Tournament Hall’s Head Croquet Club in Mandurah held a three-day competition over the long weekend in September. A team of four Sorrento players entered the Ricochet with Kerry Bomford and Glenda Laidler playing in one Block and Di McGivern partnered by Thora Lay playing in the other Block. Kerry and Glenda did particularly well by winning their Block and should therefore have competed for first place by playing against the winners of the other Block (no, not Di and Thora!). However, an administrative error resulted in the third placed couple of Kerry and Glenda’s Block playing the winners of the other Block, instead! We sent feedback to the President and the Tournament Manager of Hall’s Head and received an apology and the promise of prizes for Kerry and Glenda. An unfortunate oversight indeed! 35

Croquet in Action Grandparents Day

Jan Craddock as a ‘Purple Crayon”

Mary Gardner as a Fairy Princess with her grand-daughter

Di McGivern and Trish Klemp with the top State Players – Janine and Brett McHardy

Left: Hillary and Chas Brader on their 50th Wedding Anniversary in Bali Right: A photo of their wedding 50 years ago!

Left: Janet Fuller, Frank and Kerry Bomford enjoying the hospitality at the Geraldton Croquet Club 36

Condolences All members of the croquet section send their condolences and best wishes to Laurie and Mary Gardner on the loss of Laurie’s mother; and also to Odette and Roland Moro at the loss of Roland’s Mother. – Kerry Bomford

Not quite the lift I needed

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t is good to see Annie Taylor back on the bowling green after the mishap she suffered at the start of a much-anticipated holiday. We asked Annie to tell our readers what happened and whether she had had a late night out celebrating – the night before!!! Annie has given us the following write up: “After looking forward to a three-week winter break in Cairns, with two of my bowling friends, May McIver and Mary Cressey, it all turned out very differently from what we had planned. On the evening of our departure from Perth airport we checked our luggage through in plenty of time, stepped on to the escalator en route to the departure gate. Unfortunately, my right shoe sprung a Velcro strap and I foolishly took my hand off the support rail to look down. I had a very heavy bag on my left shoulder which made me overbalance and fall six steps onto my left side. One of my friends recalls reaching out to me but to no avail and seeing the look of horror on my face. There was light at the bottom of the escalator in the form of trainee nurses (little angels) who were passengers who cleaned me up. Next three Paramedics/firemen arrived and as I looked up at them I thought I had died and gone to heaven! My baggage was off loaded from the plane and because my dear friends were ‘traumatised’ they got free drinks while I got two free nights in Royal Perth Hospital, where they stitched up left side of my face and put me in a brace for a fractured neck. Thank you RPH – this lady is so indebted to you. On arrival home my neighbour raced into say ‘didn’t your mother warn you about playing on escalators’. This concluded the ups and downs we all have in different ways through life. I want to sincerely thank all my friends at SBC for visiting me, driving me around and most of all just being there for me. By the way I have been given the all clear from RPH, how lucky am I”. – Annie Taylor 37

Snakes Alive

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id you know that Wayne and Shelley Gray, Brian and Pip Lucas, Ron and Barbi Rogers and Brian and Joan Self spent an enjoyable time in the warmth of Coral Bay during August. Brian Lucas reported seeing many brown snakes on his regular 8-kilometre walks through the sand dunes and tracks between Coral Bay and Five Fingers Reef. But it wasn’t until the last week of the holiday that Selfie felt a snake crawl across his foot while walking at night through the caravan park. That night he discovered two puncture marks on his lower leg, experiencing swelling and pain during the night. His symptoms slowly subsided over the next two days and then Shelley Gray complained that she too had been bitten by a snake, evidenced by two puncture marks on her big toe. The local first aid volunteer advised her that she should go to the nurse’s post and they would put her on the flying doctor plane back to Perth. The thought of returning to Perth’s freezing weather was more frightening to Shelley than that the consequences of the snake bite. She did, however, go the nurses post the following day to be advised to wait and see what developed over the next few days. Apart from headaches no serious symptoms emerged. Both Shelley and Selfie made full recoveries. Two brown snakes were later found dead of suspected alcohol poisoning – perhaps just a coincidence. Subsequent research revealed that all snakes make what’s called “dry bites” where they will bite but not inject much venom. Fortunately for Shelley and Selfie, the brown snake will mostly “dry bite” humans, preferring to save their venom for something that they can kill and eat. – Brian Lucas

The Story of Brian Clausen’s Missing Bowls

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n October 2017 the first day of Pennant practice, Brian arrived at the Club ready for the trip to Scarborough for the inter club practise game. With the ride sorted out Brian went to his boot for his bowls and found an empty spot where his bowls normally sit. He’d had a puncture earlier that morning and in the process of changing the tyre Brian had taken everything out of his boot, after changing the tyre he had put 38

everything back into the boot except his bowls. Brian rang his wife to walk down where he changed the tyre to get his bowls. Given that he’d left them 20 metres from his carport inside the retirement village where he lives he was fully confident they would still be there. Brian got the shock of his life when his wife reported back that his bowls weren’t there … Oh! No! not really, not there, his treasured set of SRVs missing. News went around the village Brian’s bowls are missing!! One lady said they weren’t there five minutes after he’d left. Another lady watering her plants on her balcony saw a black SUV type vehicle parked at the same spot for a short while. However, the mystery of Brian’s missing bowls remained. With the new season upon us, Brian was on the hunt for another set of bowls and bag. In the Club house after a practise match Trader Col said “I’ve got a set of purple Dynamics that used to belong to the same chap that owned the SRVs.” Brian was happy to jump into them so the deal was done and Brian played the season out with the purple Dynamics. Toward the end of the season whilst resting in the umpire’s chair during a competition, not that he needed the rest having only had a length measure for the entire afternoon, Smiler Giles tapped him on the shoulder and told him they were cleaning out the match room and everything in there is going into the shed. Brian not finding this information to be of much use, showed a certain lack of interest in what Smiler had to say. Smiler then said, “There’s a set of bowls in there we’ve been falling over for the last 3 weeks. They wouldn’t be yours, would they?” Brian thought he should be polite to Smiler - one of Nature’s Gentlemen – but still couldn’t understand why he was talking to him about tripping over bowls and clearing out the Match Room. He knew this hadn’t been raised at the bowls meeting, especially as he was in the middle of a very intense umpiring session and was trying to catch up on some well earned rest. “Nah!!” said Brian “My bowls will be in Albany, Esperance, Kalgoorlie or South Australia by now.” Smiler said he didn’t like to go through the bag because it’s ‘kind of personal’. Brian said its most likely the only way you’ll find out who owns them and then promptly went back to resting in the umpire’s chair. Within minutes there was another tap on the shoulder – it was Smiler back again, this time he had a bowls bag with him and asking “Are you sure these aren’t your bowls?” “Not a chance, they’ve been missing for 5½ months, they’ll be long gone by now,” 39

Brian replied “Well, there’s a jacket in here with your name on it, have a look.” said Smiler Brian took a look and sure enough there was a jacket with his name on it. Brian, wondering what was going on, explored further and looked into the little pouches where the bowls are kept and there to his complete astonishment were his treasured set of SRVs. Well, Brian practically had to be helped back to the umpire’s chair for another rest, this was all too much. In a totally baffled state of mind Brian turned to Smiler and said “They’re my bowls!!” Today the mystery still remains how Brian’s bowls went missing from his Village and then turning up at the Club 5½ months later, but, one thing for certain, Brian rarely takes his eyes off his set of SRVs nowadays.

Sorrento Bowling Club Never Better!

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ooking back over the past decade, you would have to conclude that the Sorrento Bowling Club has never been in better shape than now. 2018 has seen:

• The highest membership of all time with 750 members • Winning both Bowls WA and Clubs WA Club of the Year Awards in 2018 • Fielding more Pennant sides than ever before and the most of any club in WA • Responding to community needs, signing up over 130 Recreational Bowlers • Achieving the best bowls Pennant performance ever with three Premier Divisions • Progressing major capital developments like the Western and Eastern extensions • Upgrading furniture, shade sails, water fountains and improved lighting • Providing great greens and beautiful surrounds • Winning numerous grant applications • Continued strong financial performance Unfortunately, and sadly, we still have a few members who like nothing better than to complain, whine, whinge and moan about most things, including the work performed by our Club volunteers. Fortunately, most members do really appreciate the tremendous effort of our over 120 regular volunteers. Not surprisingly members who complain the most seem to be those who themselves contribute the least. Complainers infect our Club through their negativity and disloyalty. Complaints are often petty and lack substance and are seldom constructive or valid. I have witnessed first-hand the negative impact that constant and unwarranted criticism has on them and their efforts. Let’s all get behind our great Club and celebrate our success – Neville Odell 40

Some More of Our Volunteers

“Our volunteers go above and beyond every single day. Without our volunteers we would not have a Club! The Governing Council and members are extremely grateful for everything our volunteers do. Thank you!”

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n our September 2018 Quarterly newsletter we paid tribute to some of our volunteers . We thanked the “Thumbs-up Club”, our Umpires, Markers and Coaches, our Governing Council, our other Office Bearers, our Website Manager, our Newsletter editors, our “Dash for Cash” Soup Ladies, our members who look after various social groups, our OH&S Officer, our raffle organisers and some of our other volunteers who help around our Club cleaning windows and fixing things. In this newsletter we would like to acknowledge and thank the following volunteers: Our Club Captains: John Godfrey, Sharon Eggers and Kerry Bomford Croquet: Kerry Bomford, Judith Skeet, Glenda Laidler, Di McGivern, Thora Lay, Mary Gardner and Pat Hobson Sandwiches for Thursday Pennant players: Mary Rolls, Pip Lucas, Shelley Gray, Marilyn Baker, Susan Hogan, Nora Giles, Helen O’Brien and Kerry Bomford Men’s Bowls Match Committees: Trevor Orton, Ken Giles, Gavan Ebsworth Ladies’ Bowls Match Committees: Lee Leach, Wendy Saul, Robyn Rowe, Carole Ford and Glen Larcombe 41

Men’s Selection Committees: Rob Tozer, Ron Burroughs, Brian Self, Chris Lander, Tim Murray and Derry Ellis Ladies’ Selection Committees Jan Cook, Cheryl Greig, Anne Lilley, Kath Harris and Coral Smith Social Bowls: Barbara Spence, Betty Stern, Carole Ford, Liz Young and Shona Carter Finances and Banking: Pat Dichiera, Ron Taylor, Brian Lucas and Sharon Eggers Community Bowls: Roger and Shirley Palmer, Trevor Orton, Keith Cooper, Colin Bangs Membership: Geoff Murray Raffles: Bob Anderson, Kevin Coffey, Judy Campbell, Margaret and Keith Copper, Brian Self and John Murphy. Library Books: Carmel Hyde Maintenance: John Sturk, Alan Walton, Kevin Coffey, Spider Webb and Mike McGeehan Bar volunteers: Ron Taylor, Alan Susta, Glen and Trish McCarthy, Kevin Coffey, Brian Lucas, Rob Tozer and Graeme May Sponsorship: Barry Stewart and Murray Newman State Event Organising (including catering): Ian Wittber, Trevor Orton, Sharon Eggers, Emily Dunn, Lee Leach, Marie Smart, Wendy Stobie, Gavan Ebsworth, Keith Cooper and Ken Giles Sausage Sizzles: Keith Cooper, Alan Susta, Ian Marshall, Judy Campbell, Kate Rowley, Danny Condon and Colin Bangs Darts: Wayne Gray, Danny Condon, Ian Marshall, Spider Webb and Dave Maunders Shade Cloth: Phil Bilich, Trevor Orton, Bob Jeffs, Mike McGeehan, Colin Jasper. Herbie Eisenmann, Kevin Cook, Roger Palmer, Kevin McKersey, Jim Portwood, Derry Ellis, Brad Williams, Terry Parker, Denis Croker and Dion Smith 42

Welfare: John Murphy Social Events: Jan Cook, Jan Paniperis, Jan Siney, Jenni Lockwood, Wendy Saul, Carmel Hyde, Lauris Berry, Robyn Woodward, Pauline Bourne, Coral Smith, Shirley Palmer, Fran Bracknell, Robyn Rowe, Charmain Harris, Liz Marshall, John Smith, Kevin Coffey, Kath Harris and Kevin Cook. If I have forgotten to acknowledge any of our volunteers please let me know and I will include you in future lists. As Volunteer Co-ordinator I’m not always aware of everyone who is volunteering in our Club. We are always looking for more volunteers. – Ken Giles

Our Annual Fashion Parade

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ur annual Fashion Parade was held in September 2018 and 97 members and friends attended. They were all excited at the prospect of viewing garments displayed by a fashion retailer – K’Sara Fashions of Duncraig, that we have come to know and admire. Joy Jackson again displayed her wonderful Neutrimetics products and provided a fabulously presented prize for a raffle, the proceeds of which were donated to the day’s fund-raising. We thank Joy immensely for this continued support for our efforts. A display of extra clothing and jewellery sold by K’Sara was also available for everyone to view and purchase – beautiful items, many and varied.

Back Row: Jenni Lockwood, Kendal Marshall, Nerrida Porteus, Lee Leach, Rhianna Deering, Clair Hanlon and Gillian Kennedy Front Row: Jan Cook, Jan Paniperis, Wendy Saul, Carmel Hyde Three other raffles were run by the women’s organising committee which contributed very generously to the funds that were raised on this day. Most of the goods for the 43

wine raffle were kindly donated by some of our lady members. A beautiful bonsai bowl full of succulent plants was donated by Robyn Rowe and Ann-Marie Way of 5th Avenue Jewellery donated a superb necklace containing a Swarovski crystal, both of these items were raffled to help raise funds on the day. Thank you very much to all of those people for your generosity A wine-tasting table was run by Angie from The Alchemist wines with samples of red and white wines being offered for the ladies to try. This was very popular and Angie commented that she ran out of disposable tasting glasses very quickly. People began arriving around 9.30am for morning tea and a chat. The fashion show itself began at 11am and our models this year were Clair Hanlon, Wendy Saul, Nerrida Porteous, Carmel Hyde, Jan Cook and her granddaughter Rhianna Deering, Lee Leach and her daughter Gillian Kennedy, Jan Paniperis and Jenni Lockwood and her daughter Kendall Marshall. The idea of having some much younger models was to illustrate that K’Sara caters for clothing women of all ages. Everyone was impressed with the quality and diversity of the fashions. When it was time for lunch, everyone lined up for bread rolls and hot soup, being able to choose between five delicious soups, provided by individual club members who had volunteered their services.. After lunch, the raffles were drawn and the majority of the prizes went to non-members. The hall was filled with chatter and laughter before most started to head off home. Others remained to tidy up and, after the work was done, a drink or two was had by those who chose to stay on. A great vote of thanks goes to Coral and Wendy and the helpers in the kitchen, who heated soups, put together morning tea, carried plates and cutlery and did dishes. Thank you very much also to the ladies who made the beautiful soups for our lunch – your contributions helped to spread the load for running this event. Thank you to Jan Cook who organised models and liaised with K’Sara Fashions. Jan also designed the decorations for the hall, organised the team of helpers arranging the hall – it is never easy pushing tables and chairs around – and put together the amazing wine raffle hampers. A big thanks for her contributions. Great appreciation goes to the people who supervised raffles, namely Kaye Martin, Robyn Woodward and Lorraine Hyde. And a big thank you to all who attended – without you there, this event would not be possible. About $1680 profit has been raised to go into the Club’s coffers – this is a great effort and is a credit to all who helped in any way. – Sharon Eggers 44

The Shinju Matsuri Mixed Fours, Broome 2018

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hose intrepid travelling bowlers, Jan Paniperis and Pauline Marsden, were invited, along with Charmain Harris, Larraine and Stan Brickell, by Robyn and Jim Woodward (almost Broome locals) to play in the Shinju Matsuri Mixed Fours in Broome in August. They all without exception immediately accepted and got on to the website to cash in on the cheap air fares to and from Broome. Broome has grown a lot over the years and it was always an adventure to get to and fro the AirBnB house where they were staying to wherever they wanted to go, i.e. the Bowling Club, Gantheaume Point, etc, as there were always at least four voices in the car directing the poor driver. They got to ride camels along Cable Beach and Jan was concerned that her camel, Ned Kelly, seemed to form an unnatural connection to Charmain who was on the camel in front of her. He kept putting his head on Charmain’s leg and she was told to put her finger in his mouth, as he was a complete sook, which she did of course!! As seems to be a tradition for Jan and Pauline, they always seem to play a team that 45

they could have played if they had remained in Perth – Quinns in Fiji, North Beach in Norfolk Island and in Broome – the team they were living with, i.e. Stan, Larraine, Charmain and Bill (an almost local player)! As the connection seems to be getting closer and closer, Jan and Pauline are afraid that they will be playing themselves if they go away again!! Steve and Cheryl Benn are also almost locals in Broome over the cold winter months in Perth and as such played extremely well, with the help of some gun players from Victoria. They came second overall, having led the leader board over the two and a half days of the competition. Jim, Robyn, Jan and Pauline acquitted themselves well, winning five of their seven matches and coming seventh overall. The Brickell, Harris team saved their best ‘til last and lost and won some very tight games over the competition. The competition itself was extremely well run by the Broome Bowling Club, along with John Goddard and Grant Nichol (aka General), and we would all recommend that freezing Perthites should take a break from the cold and head up to Broome next year for this competition. – Jan Paniperis

Australian 2018 Senior Sides Championships This year’s event was held in October at the Wallaroo and Moonta Bowling clubs on Yorke Peninsula’s Copper Coast about 2 hour’s drive out of Adelaide. All States and Territories had teams in both Men’s and Women’s competitions. The Sorrento Bowling Cub was thrilled to be represented by three players, Chris Lander (this was his third time representing WA, Pauline Bourne and Liz Marshall. Liz heard that she was joining the team just over a week before they were due to fly out. This was due to Lee Poletti’s husband passing away. Luckily Liz was able to be fitted out with uniforms and special bowls bag in time. A full list of all teams, results and final ladder positions can be found on the Bowls Australia Competition Portal. In other words the writer isn’t giving you a bowl by bowl report. He can write, however, how very proud he was for his wife’s selection. I followed the event daily and was lucky enough to watch as Pauline’s rink was streamed on Facebook for their game against Victoria. WA won 5½ to 1½ . While watching it soon became clear to me that the standard of play was at a very high level and wins were going to be hard fought and very hard to get. The WA Women performed solidly and a 6/0 loss to Tasmania in game four was 46

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disappointing for them. Before their last game against NSW they were a game clear on top of the ladder and a win on one rink only would have given them the Gold Medal. Believe it or not, it came down to the last bowl on two rinks to win. Unfortunately for them this did not happen. This meant that for the second year in a row WA had won the Silver Medal, having won five out of seven games. The men finished fourth, winning four of their seven games. Chris Lander’s rink, in another last end thriller, lost to deprive them of the honour of being the best performing rink of the tournament. The playing conditions were excellent, Wallaroo being indoor synthetic and Moonta very good grass greens. I also hear that their accommodation at Max cottages in Wallaroo was great. A story whilst playing against Queensland with the ladies on the next rinks, Chris and their team heard a loud war cry from the lady Queenslanders, called out “ C’mon Queenslanders”, was taken to be by our men , “Come on Chris Landers” , which caused some hilarity on the greens. (Say it quickly and you will see what I mean). Pauline mentioned how close some of the play was that on three occasions there was a no score end, one of them being a three way measure. Also, receiving her no 34 WA State hat , was a very memorable moment and the whole six days was a wonderful, if not stressful at times, experience, and the camaraderie and support received from both the men and women was fantastic. Both teams enjoyed several meals together, but the final evening was a brilliant way to finish the competition with a large gathering at our accommodation where everyone was totally relaxed and pleased with their efforts. All players and support staff arrived home in Perth very tired but happy. Cong rat ulations on your selection and doing our Club proud. – Tony Bourne 48

Inner Peace If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without alcohol, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, – Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

25 Thoughts to Get You Through Almost Any Crisis

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lan Wood sent in this list which he thought might be of interest to our members:

1 - Indecision is the key to flexibility. 2 - You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track. 3 - There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. 4 - Happiness is merely the remission of pain. 5 - Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. 6 - Sometimes too much drink is not enough. 7 - The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant. 8 - The careful application of terror is also a form of communication. 9 - Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world. 10- Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before. 11- Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. 12- Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. 13- Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. 14- I have seen the truth and it makes no sense. 15- Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism. 49

16- All things being equal, fat people use more soap. 17- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 18- One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday. 19- By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 20- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 21- The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. 22- There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 23- This is as bad as it can get, but don’t bet on it. 24- Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it. 25- The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realise it’s a ‘do it yourself’ thing.

Senior Texting Codes!

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– Author Unknown

oday, text and chat abbreviations are used in many online communications including Facebook, Twitter, instant messaging, email and online gaming to name a few places. These abbreviations and emoticons are also frequently used when people send messages on mobile phones Young people have their special texting codes. Now Seniors have their own texting codes for you to are on your fancy new telephone: * ATD

At the doctor’s

* BFF

Best friends funeral

* BTW

Bring the Wheelchair

* BYOT

Bring Your Own Teeth

* CBM

Covered by Medicare

* CUATSC See You at the Senior Center * DWI

Driving While Incontinent

* FWIW

Forgot Where I Was

* GGPBL

Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

* GHA

Got Heartburn Again

* HGBM

Had Good Bowel Movement

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* LMDO

Laughing My Dentures Out

* LOL

Living on Lipitor

* OMSG

Oh My! Sorry, Gas

* TOT

Texting on Toilet

* WAITT

Who Am I Talking To?

* GGLKI

Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

Hope these help. I have adopted them all. – Thanks to Mike Berecry for this contribution

Beyond Blue Day

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nce again our Social bowlers arranged a fund-raising day for Beyond Blue. An amount of $275 was raised on this special day. The winners on the day were Sonia McGrady, Terry Parker, Robin Newcombe and Colin Scott. According to Beyond Blue’s website, three million Australians are living with anxiety or depression. This organisation provides information and support to help everyone in Australia achieve their best possible mental health, whatever their age and wherever they live.

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How Volatile is Sorrento’s Membership?

rom its humble beginnings with twelve members in 1976, the Sorrento Bowling Club now has 732 members of which 381 are lawn bowlers. The balance of 351 is made up of croquet, darts and cricket players and other social members. We are now virtually at our Strategic Plan target number of 700 members split into 400 bowlers and 300 social/others. The graph on the next page shows the Club’s membership numbers over the past twelve years. While Sorrento has sustained itself as a strong and vibrant Club, we have seen significant volatility in membership over the years. Membership peaked in 2009, 2012, 2015 but tended to drop away in the following years. The 2009 peak resulted from a membership drive and the 2012 peak was due to the closing down of the Glengarry 51

Graph of Member Numbers 2006 to 2108

Total Members

Bowling Members

Social and other Members

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Rod Garnaut Shop SP002 Centra Dianella Shopping Centre Dianella WA 6059 Phone: 0892758877

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Tavern and their patrons deciding to come to Sorrento. The reason for the 2015 peak in not known by the author. The 2018 peak was due to our latest membership drive when we had 71 bowlers and 66 social/other members sign up. Our Club’s challenge this year is to encourage our new members, through their enjoyable experiences at the Club, to continue their memberships with Sorrento. In this regard, all members have a responsibility to ensure that they do whatever they can to ensure that our new members have a good time and feel at home with Sorrento. Our members mostly come from within the City of Joondalup with the largest concentrations in Duncraig (27%), Sorrento (11%), Hillarys (10%) and Kingsley (6%). We have some members who come from Mundaring, GinGin, Ellenbrook and Yanchep and to play at Sorrento. We even had someone from Jurien Bay travelling every week to play at Sorrento. In summary a very healthy picture. The only negatives are: • Lady bowlers are on a downward trend and have dropped from about 23% (104 bowlers) of total membership to 17% (127 bowlers) or half the number of men bowlers • Men bowlers have dropped from 43% (197 bowlers) of total membership to 35% (254 bowlers) • We are now close to capacity and may have to close membership as since writing this article we have increased membership to over 750. – Neville Odell

Getting to Know Our Members

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aving grown up in an environment of the dedication and unity required in policing, Kerry Bomford knows full well the importance of teamwork. Kerry, the Captain of Sorrento’s Croquet Club, is from a family with a proud tradition of law enforcement and, as a youngster, led somewhat of a nomadic existence. Although born in Perth, Kerry went to seven different schools in 10 years as her father, Max Kimber, was posted to Police Stations in far flung places such as Mullewa, Kellerberrin, Geraldton, Ballidu and Bunbury, where Kerry attended three different schools in five years. 54

And in an uncanny coincidence, it was a lifestyle which also attracted the interest of several other members of her family. Not only did Kerry’s brother, Paul Kimber, serve in the Police Force, but so too did her brother-in-law Derrick Briggs, uncle Brian Kimber and cousin Jeff Duckett. On completing her secondary school education at Kellerberrin High School, Kerry took up office work, a career which has continued to this very day where she specialises in processing company payrolls. It was during the early days of this period that Kerry met the flamboyant Frank Bomford – on a blind date in 1975 at the Morley drive-in. It wasn’t love at first sight but 43 years later Kerry and Frank are going strongly. As the result of a Sorrento letter box drop a decade ago, Kerry and Frank as well as a few others, such as Thora and Derek Lay, decided to take up bowls at the corporate level. While Frank and Derek have stuck to bowls, fortunately, as it turned out, Kerry and Thora decided to pursue croquet. Membership of the croquet club has fluctuated over the years from a high of 44 in 1998 to an alarming 17 earlier this year. Something needed to be done and, with policing blood lines coursing through her veins, Kerry decided to arrest the slump. She and others including secretary Di McGivern, who is also vice-president of Croquetwest, Judith Skeet, Glenda Laidler, Mary Gardner, Pat Hobson and Thora fully embraced the idea of Sorrento’s latest letter box drop and enthusiastically participated. As a result, just as the Sorrento Bowling Club greatly boosted its numbers, so too has our Croquet Club delightedly grown its membership back up to 33. The new category of Recreational Membership has attracted many new faces through the club’s doors with options of bowling, croquet and darts available. A “them and us” syndrome has been greatly minimised simply by the Croquet Club’s unflinching support of the Bowling Club. Over the years Croquet Club members having willingly devoted time to making sandwiches for men 55

Pennant bowlers as well as contributing to the running of events such as Ladies’ Gala Day, Fashion Parades, Opening Days, “Biggest Morning Tea”, Presentation Nights, Melbourne Cup Day, Quiz Nights and Corporate Bowls. And so, as our Croquet Club prepares to celebrate its 21st birthday, it will never forget the initial efforts of enthusiast Geoff Bloomfield who encouraged 11 others who had never touched a mallet before to join him in learning to play the game on a small part of the Percy Doyle Reserve. Geoff is well remembered, having one of Sorrento’s croquet courts named in his honour. Geoff was rewarded with life membership in 2009, but sadly suffered a stroke in 2011 which ended his playing and administrative days. However, his legacy lives on with Kerry having picked up the baton. But the ever-self-effacing Kerry insists, “Being named Captain is only a title, it’s a real team effort.” – Jim Woodward

Vale Joy NSE

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he funeral service for Joy Hennessy captured the essence of this strong, humorous and talented lady who lived life to the maximum enjoying swimming, bowling and tinkling the ivories. Her cup was never half empty but always half full. Her prowess as a lawn bowler was evident when she opened her bowling bag and medals of her achievements were evident for all to see. When I ‘phoned her prior to her being admitted to hospital, this special lady sang to me “The Old Grey Mare ain’t what she used to be”! She ‘phoned her younger sister Mavis just to say, “I wish you luck as I wave you goodbye”. Joy was only in the hospital for three days before she passed away. Up until then she was still pulling weeds from her garden. Joy was busy organising things in her hospital room when the nurse asked her “Are you going home today?” Joy looked up at her said “No dear I am leaving this Planet today!” She did just that! Joy NSE, I salute you! 56

– Your partner in ribald jokes Annie Taylor

Our Melbourne Cup Day

All the ladies who helped to make this another great day

Charmain Harris, Jan Siney and Jan Paniperis welcoming guests with Champagne and strawberries

Sylvia and Neil McLaughlan enjoying themselves. Hope they had a win! Brenda Richardson looking smart

Robyn Rowe holding up her57 winnings

Mary Rolls winner of the best dressed prize. Well done, Mary!

Abba selling tickets for the big race.

Patty Abercrombie and Marg Hughan looking very glamorous Moira Dean and Annie Taylor in front of the floral arch they decorated Mary Rolls, Hilda Dichiera and Denise Odell enjoying the day

Left: Julie Sabatino looking very pretty walking the red carpet Right: Gina Smith and May Leyland having a great time

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Some of the dancing ladies - Hilda Dichiera, Brenda Richardson and Liz Young

Some Nostalgia from the Archives

What an immaculate group of bowlers – all with matching skirts at the regulation length and hats on their heads

Done in 2009 by “vandals” who stacked them up overnight. It turned into a long episode as we had to hire a long armed crane and then claim on insurance for damage to the green etc.

Entrance to the Sorrento 59 Bowling Club a few years ago

Winners and Runners Up “Triples Plate” 1990/91 Doug Wooltorton, Roy Millard, John Sofonlis, Joe Murphy, Tom McNeil and Alan Stain

Right: A 2008 photo of Ian Wittber, Des Bennett and Brian Lucas

Some More Nostalgia from the Archives

A 1993 photo, from Ian Wittber’s archives, of a group of members who played in the Wonthella Club Carnival Does this photo remind you of a famous Hollywood film star? Is it Errol Flynn, Cary Grant or Brian Lucas?

From left to right: Ian Gardiner Ian Wittber Les Harvey Peter Chipman Leo Johnston Kevin Sullivan Bevan Heathcote Syd Cragg

Now a member at Nollamara Still a member Now living in Thailand? Now living in Tasmania Not sure of whereabouts Now living in Mandurah Now deceased Now deceased The team that in 1998 won a Guinness World Record for winning 67 to 5 in a Pennant game. This was the highest score ever achieved in a lawn bowls match

Ian Wittber, as President, presenting the award. From left to right: Brad Stewart (the young bloke), Barry Goodwin’s wife as he had by then passed on, Dick Oates who was the Skipper, and Albie Filgate Note: It is interesting to see that even in 1991-92 we were “The Most Out60 standing Club of the Year”

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