Alan Wood and Coral Smith Our “Bowlers of the Year” for 2014/15
Sorrento Bowling Club Newsletter (Including Darts and Croquet)
Number 61 May 2015
Some notes from your Editors – Neville and Denise Odell If you would like to comment or contribute to our newsletter please contact Denise or Neville on 9309 3108 or e-mail us at nevodell@bigpond.net.au
BRICKBATS, BOUQUETS, CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS We got some positive comments about our February 2015 newsletter. Unfortunately, in spite of all our efforts to improve on the final proof reading we managed to mis-spell Alan Wood’s, Alan Walton’s and Carole Ford’s names. Apologies! We do try hard to get everyone’s name right but some errors slip through the cracks. Over the eight years we have been doing the newsletter we have learnt to differentiate between Denis and Dennis, Gavin and Gavan, Clair and Claire, Glen and Glenn, Ann and Anne, Carol and Carole, Alan, Allen and Allan, Graham and Graeme, Shelly and Shelley, Nellie and Nelly, Toser and Tozer, Grey and Gray, Derek and Derrick, Wood and Woods, and Odell and O’Dell. Then we have the Mcs and the Macs - McCormack, McGrady, McLaughlan, McCullagh, McGeehan, McIntosh and MacLiver. Any guesses about the most difficult surname to spell - Sjepcevich. Sorry folks but your Editors “jumped the gun” in our February newsletter. Acting on information, from a normally reliable source, we stated that Richard and Soraya Fermoyle would be leaving our Club immediately if not sooner. NOT SO!!!! It is on the cards that they will do so but the move depends entirely on Soraya’s work situation and could happen anytime in the next four years. So we are stuck with them for a while yet!
SOME MORE “DID YOU HEAR” AND “DID YOU KNOW” STORIES Did you hear that regular visitors Clive and Jan Webber have become grandparents for the first time? Congratulations to you both. Please keep visiting us! Did you know that a UK government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor? Did you know that Frank and Beryl Tutt will be celebrating their 60th Wedding Anniversary in June? Congratulations to you both. May there be many more! Did you hear about former member Derry Barber getting his car nicked? He and his wife decided to go into Perth by train to see the Giants. When returning to Whitford Station they could not find their car. They proceeded to contact the Police and the Insurance Company. After a week of having to use other people’s bowls and scrounging lifts, the Police knocked on their door to advise them that their car had been found. Derry was excited and asked if there was any damage. “No damage” said the Police but handed him $150 in parking fines for parking his car at Greenwood station for a week! Did you hear that in a Men’s Pairs at Warwick, the total age of the four players was 311 years? What is the best that Sorrento can manage? Did you hear what Kath Harris did with the score-card after a bad Pennant loss? She dropped it into the toilet! Of course she claims it was an accident.
Prayer for Grandpa Dear God, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Grandpa’s computer. Amen
Did you know that, on Valentine’s Day, one rink playing in 2 Gold were 13/13 on the 13th end? Barry Stewart thought it would have been fitting if this had occurred on Friday 13 February or that the score had been 14/14 on the 14th end on Saturday the 14th. Did you know 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321? You can always rely on our newsletter for useful information!
Did you know that if you were to spell out numbers you have to go to ‘one thousand’ to find the letter ‘A’? Did you know that the phrase “Put in a Robbo” was coined by John Sanders? He tells me he was the first to recognise the importance of giving this strategic shot a nickname! Did you know that bullet proof vests, fire escapes, wind shield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women?
A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything but I can still fit into the socks I wore in high school.
Did you know that Mary Cressey and her team managed to get two “eights” in one game? Did you know that Derek Smith, Pat Dichiera and Tony Bourne were the only players of both Division 4 teams to gain promotion this season? Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It’s called the Anal Optic Nerve and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don’t believe it, pull a hair from your bum and see if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eyes. Thanks to Brian Lucas for this useful bit of information. Did you hear that our umpire coordinator, Jim Ironside, was asked to help out with the umpiring at the Australian Sides Championships held this year in Perth at the Yokine Bowling Club during April. All States and Territories were represented with three teams per side in both Men’s and Women’s competition. Jim umpired one of the greens over two days with sides competing from NSW, SA, Qld, VIC and ACT and considered himself fortunate to be able to officiate games involving some of Australia’s top bowlers including Aron Sherriff and Karen Murphy. As the umpire, Jim was called six times over the two days to undertake a variety of measures including telescopic boundary measures, short jacks and the usual measures for shot. Did you hear that the Sorrento Ladies almost made a clean sweep of the prizes at a Merriwa Gala Day, winning three of the four prizes on offer. Moira Dean, Nerrida Porteous, Coral Smith and Jackie Maxwell won the morning prize. Wendy Saul, Denise Odell, Robin van Mosseveld and Shelley Jeffs won the runners-up prize and Lee Leach, Beth McCormack, Pauline Marsden and Vi Willers were the overall winners. Well done Ladies!
Did you hear that at the March meeting of the Executive, the Bowls Captain advised that he had trouble finding coloured trousers to match our Club shirt? The best match he could find was navy blue. A pair of navy blue trousers were presented but received a negative response. As a result the Executive agreed that we would not change to coloured trousers at this time. Therefore, until further notice, the Men’s Club uniform would continue to include white trousers. Did you know that Frank and Jenny Gandras collect old vinyl records. They have an extensive and varied collection which they are always looking to expand. If you have any old records lying around your house and would like to swop them for cash, please give Jenny a call on 9447 0614. SOME OTHER BITS AND PIECES A boy asks his granny, ‘Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?’ Granny replies, ‘B-gg-r the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?’ Try reading the following: I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Will lawn bowls ever become an Olympic sport? Bowls has been included in the Paralympics since 1975, but moves to have it included into the full Olympics programme have been thwarted. Top bowlers are quite angry and upset that bowls isn’t part of the Olympics. The reintroduction of golf and rugby in two years and the debut of kite surfing follows on from the inclusion of beach volleyball and mountain biking in 1996, taekwondo, trampolining, triathlon (2000) and women’s boxing in 2012. Why not lawn bowls? Now that Denise and I have been in Australia for more then ten years we have recently qualified for an Australian pension. One of the best decisions we have ever made was to come to Australia in 2005. We would like to take this opportunity to thank the Australian Government for allowing us to come to this beautiful and generous country. We would also like to thank the members of the Sorrento Bowling Club who have made us so welcome over the years. Finally a special thank you to : • Sharon Eggers, Brian Self, Ray Stapledon and Richard Fermoyle who took photos
when your Editor was unavailable. We would also like to thank Greg Taylor for the delightful photos he took at the Presentation Evening. If you would like copies of any of the photos that Greg took at the Presentation Evening please contact him on 08 9448 6714 or 0450 674 268.
• Jim Woodward for his delightful and clever write up on the “Five Davids” and
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“Dion Smith and the Rubik’s cube” and his ”Spider and Tiger” articles. Everyone enjoys his articles. Jim is about to have a major operation to his ankle so we won’t see him on the bowling green for a while. Members send me funny stories and jokes for our newsletter. Unfortunately most get censored by Denise who continues in her role as “the arbiter of good taste”. John Collishaw who always returns his newsletter when he has finished reading it. This helps reduce the number of copies we need to print. We still encourage members to read it on our website. My friend Skew Wiff Watt for his delightful poems which he always allows me to use in our newsletters. Members of the Executive for their regular contributions to our newsletter.
Men’s Captain’s Report
– Neville Odell
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ongratulations and thank you to all the committees of the Men’s Bowls. You all have put in a sensational effort in 2014/2015 under sometimes some extreme circumstances. I was a bit disappointed at the number of men bowlers who did not support the presentation night. Thanks go out to Trevor Orton, Ken Giles, Sharon Eggers and Coral Smith for all their efforts and the efforts of numerous volunteers who made the night as successful as it was. If you have any suggestions on why the numbers were down please let the organisers of this event know.
Some of our lovely wives looking very “glam”
What a great photo!
What a “good looking” group!
Beryl Tutt, Moira Dean and Nerrida Porteous winners of the Ladies Triples Trish Cunningham - the Ladies Singles Champion
Peter & Kath Hamilton won the runner ups to the Croquet Ricochet Trevor Orton Men’s Pennant Player 2014/15
Judy Campbell receiving her award for the Vets Singles
Some Photos from the Presentation Evening
Trish Klemp & Robyn Rowe won the Croquet Golf Pairs
Big congratulations to the Men’s Bowler of 2014/2015, Alan Wood; a very popular winner. There will be some new Club strategies going forward so let’s hope all members understand that these initiatives will make our Club as strong both socially and in bowling as it should be. On behalf of the Men Bowlers, congratulations go out to our Lady bowlers on achieving Premier Division status in 2015/2016. Well done and good luck for next season. Finally I would like to thank the Executive Committee for their support over the past twelve months. Finally – Remember: “Negativity inhibits progress” – ABBA
Ladies Captain’s Report
Bowler of the Year Congratulations to Coral Smith for winning the “Women Bowler of the Year”. 2015 Ladies Invitation Fours Event In February we hosted our annual Ladies Invitation Fours. It was an awesome day and everyone who took part or had anything to do with its organisation was thrilled by how well it ran and the fun that was had by all. The weather was perfect, the greens were terrific and the clubhouse and surrounds looked wonderful. We were very lucky to again have generous sponsorship from Ray Green of Trevor’s Carpets This allowed us to offer $1000 for the winning team as well as round and game winners. This in turn helped to draw 26 prestigious teams from different clubs around the metro and country areas of Perth, including two teams from Sorrento. Ray extended his generosity to free drinks at lunchtime and at the end of the day for players and helpers alike. The players attending were overwhelmed by this gesture and gave Ray rowdy applause and ‘cat calls’ in response. So heartfelt thanks are extended to Ray, on behalf of all of the ladies and the club in general, for his incredible support of this event. A diligent team of workers took on all the tasks required to facilitate the general organisation of the day, such as preparing food items for lunch, setting up the tables, making and placing the decorations, printing of logoed score cards and the envelopes for prize money, compiling the baskets for the wine raffle, selling raffle tickets on Thursday evening and on the day and many other jobs that went towards making this event such a success. A profit of over $2250 was made which has now been added to our Club’s coffers. The club house looked amazing as usual – all decked out in black 10
and yellow to reinforce the theme of Trevor’s Carpets sponsorship. Also most of the workers wore black shirts and caps with the Trevor’s Carpets logo. Heartfelt thanks must go to Trish Cunningham and her team in the kitchen for the preparation of morning tea, lunch and afternoon nibbles. The buffet lunch was spectacular and delicious – enjoyed by all. The catering team was very generously assisted by some of our men members who worked in the kitchen alongside the ladies. Thanks, gentlemen – much appreciated. Thanks must go also to Kishore from Wendy’s Ice Creams for his generous donation of beautiful mango ice cream that accompanied the lunchtime dessert. Coral Smith and her diligent Match ladies did a fantastic job of running the bowling side of the day. A new electronic spreadsheet was used to record and coordinate scoring and results – this made producing final results much easier and quicker. This spread sheet and a selection of candid photos taken whilst games were under way, were displayed on the big TV at the lunch break – a great use of technology. A number of our men members also made themselves available during the entire day to run heavy errands such as putting water containers out and moving furniture, etc. and doing general chores. Thanks to all who helped out with this. Congratulations and well done to anyone involved. 2015 Women’s Trevors Carpets Handicap Triples On a beautiful warm and calm March day we held the Trevors Carpets Handicap Triples. This event was open to all women members of our club only. The funds for this event were again generously provided by Ray Green The fourteen teams were put together on a points basis by our Selection Committee. This process generated fairly evenly matched groups, which gave everyone a good chance of winning some prize money. There were prizes given for each game winner of the three rounds of 11 ends. Then money was awarded for round winners, overall first and second and ‘next year’s winners’ – the ‘wooden-spooners’. There were very few teams who did not win some money at all during the day. Prizes were also given for touchers that occurred after a whistle was blown at various times during the day. Ray Green once again very generously made free drinks available Some very kind men members provided help with organisation around the greens and general tasks that needed doing during the day. Without their assistance, some of the women would have had to be doing these chores instead of playing. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the day and most are eagerly looking forward to repeat11
ing the same event at the completion of the next bowling season. It was a fantastic way of winding up a great season and having some fun to celebrate another successful bowling year. The results were: Round 1 winner Round 2 winner Round 3 winner Runner up Winner Next Year’s Winner
C Smith, J Gregory and S McLaughlan S Eggers, D Odell and J Gandras B McCormack, M Leyland and C Hyde P Bourne, R Van Mosseveld and M Staddle L Hyde, J Maxwell and B Tutt P Marsden, H Ironside and R Woodward
Men’s Selector’s Report
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– Sharon Eggers
irstly I would like to thank my fellow Selectors for all their efforts this season. I would also like to thank all the team managers this season; your efforts were greatly appreciated. Lastly, a very special mention and thank you to Derek Smith who is always willing to help whenever needed. Team Performances The Club has had a successful season with two teams on Thursday and one team on Saturday achieving promotion. Unfortunately our 1 White team on Saturday has been demoted to 1 Blue next season despite finishing 7th and winning eight out of their 18 games during the season. On Thursday pennants, five of our nine teams played finals with two achieving promotion they being 4 Blue and 5 Blue 1. Other teams to play finals were 1 Blue, 2 Blue 1 and 4 Gold. Our 4 Blue team won their colour convincingly but lost the Pennant final away to Forrestfield. 12
Of our eight Saturday teams, four teams played in the finals with our 4 Gold 1 team achieving promotion after an exciting play off against 4 Gold 2. Other teams participating in the finals were 3 Blue, 4 Gold 2 and 5 Gold. Awards On Saturday 21 March the Club had a very enjoyable wind-up at which time a number of awards were presented. The attendance of over 80 players was pleasing. I would like to thank Susan, Pip, Shelley, Glenn, Helen and Alan for their help with the cooking and preparation of our gourmet burgers. The Selection Committee this season decided to instigate special awards for our Thursday and Saturday Pennant Team of the year and the top three Pennant bowlers of the year. To decide the winners, a voting system was used where a player on a winning rink achieved 25 points while a player on a rink that drew their match was awarded 12.5 points. Using these results we were able to achieve the rink of the season for Thursday and Saturday. The votes were then combined to achieve the top three Pennant bowlers for the season. A perpetual trophy was donated and I am pleased to announce that the inaugural winner of the Pennant player of the Season was Trevor Orton. John Collishaw finished 2nd and Mick Martin came 3rd. The following is a summary of Trevor and his teams’ outstanding performance: Saturday Played 18 Won 10 Drew 1 Lost 7 Shots Up = 92 Thursday Played 19 Won 16 Drew 0 Lost 3 Shots Up = 174 TOTAL Played 37 Won 26 Drew 1 Lost 10 Shots Up = 266 The Thursday Rink of the Season was Ken Vercoe, Bob Steven, Wim Wouts and Ron Burroughs and the Saturday Rink of the Season was Geoff Murray, Ross Cunningham, Eddie Tassone and Stuart Wright. ( Editor’s Note: These are “composite” teams based on the votes) Another 8 Badge Congratulations to the rink of Ron Rogers, Brian Saul, Bruce Eagles and Steve Mortimer. Look forward to seeing all players next season. 13
– Rob Tozer
Men’s Pennant Finalists
2 Blue 1– Thursday Back: Wayne Gray, Jim Ironside, Brian Self, Peter Crow, Tim Murray, Craig Grisbrook Front: Brad Williams, John Sanders, Ron Kuziela, Warren Elliott, Trevor Orton and John Collishaw
5 Blue 1 – Thursday Back: Rob Lees, Don Grieg, Wim Wouts, Greg Day, George Sjepcevich, Kevin Kennedy Middle: Ken Partridge, Mike McGeehan, Bob Horgan, Mike Thornett Front: Frank Bomford, Bob Steven
4 Gold 1 versus 4 Gold 2 – Saturday Back: Kevin Cook, Dave Bradley, Trevor Beckwith, Ken Vercoe, Derry Ellis, Peter Blake, Stuart Wright, Derek Smith Second row: Ray Slimper, Tony Bourne, Ron Taylor, Dion Smith, Bill Long, Guy Burdon, Ray Green, Rob Tozer Third row: Alan Rolls, Merv Spence, Spider Webb, Alan Taylor, Eddie Tassone, John Sturk, Phil Bilich, Gordon Kirkham 14 Front: Mike McGeehan, Alan Walton, Roland Hill, Bob Jeffs, Kevin Coffey, Darryl Rowland, Ron Burroughs, Pat Dichiera
The Brownlow Trophy
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he count for the best performer in Saturday 1 White Division for the 2014/15 season was held at the Club on Wednesday 1 April 2015. A good roll up of players and partners were in attendance to watch the count and listen to the comments on how players performances were perceived by their rink colleagues. This was the 14th year that the Brownlow count was held. There have been eight previous winners with three players having won the trophy on more than one occasion. Daniel Woodrow was the winner for the 2013/14 season. A maximum of 15 points could be allocated for each game by the other members of the rink and a total of 16 games could be used for the count. This year 23 players were used in 1 White and a close count was expected. Most of the so called good judges thought that Geoff Murray, Ross Cunningham and Mick Martin would fight out the finish. After the first nine games, Geoff Murray led the way on 102 points followed by Ross Cunningham on 90 and Steve Mortimer playing for the first time in 1 White closely behind with 89 points. After 15 games Geoff Murray was still in front of the count on 157 points with Ross Cunningham closing the gap on 151 points, Mick Martin catching up on 150 points and Steve Mortimer and Peter Crow on 145 points. The voting for the last three games was always going to be interesting as Sorrento beat Doubleview 6½ to 1½ points, Morley 7 to 1 and then lost to Kardinya 1 point to 7. With one game to go, Peter Crow was one point behind the leader Geoff Murray so it got down to the voting for the last game which was a loss against Kardinya. John Godfrey called out the last votes like a true Brownlow count and it was revealed that Peter gained an extra point to draw level with Geoff. In the 14 years of the count this was the first time a draw had occurred. Both players had outstanding years and a draw was a fitting result. Peter played most of the season as third to Ron Kuziela and Geoff played as a lead to the rink skippered by Mick Martin. Both players will hold the trophy for 6 months prior to the battle beginning for the honour for our next season. The top scorers for the count were as follows: Geoff Murray and Peter Crow 177 points Mick Martin 170 points Brian Clausen 167 points Steve Mortimer 165 points Special thanks to John and Robyn Godfrey for collating the voting slips and providing the details of the voting for each round at the presentation night. 15 – Richard Bone
The ‘Green’ Psychiatrist
I’m sick of getting nowhere With me ‘Bowling Job’ Career. Sick of nasty comments - “That I wuz sorta Queer”. So I sat an’ contemplated, An’ had a real good ‘Think’, An’ packed me set of Bowls up, An’ took ‘em to a “SHRINK!”. He asked me “What’s the problem?” (An I gave a sorta Moan), I said ‘These bloody bowls have got A mind all of their own!” So he sat them on his leather couch An’ told them to “Relax”, He played some moody music – (Rubbed some “Grippo!” on their backs). He asked ‘me bowls’ some questions, Like -- “Do you feel alive?” An‘ “have you ever travelled far ?” An’ “have you had a drive?” Well! One bowl quickly answered, ( I don’t know which wuz which?) It said - “I’m either ‘out of bounds’ Or ‘finish in a ditch’. Me bowls let go their worries, ‘bout language quite obscene, Yes! Strong abusive language When they finish down the Green. It seems me bowls are sensitive, An’ I didn’t have a clue, They don’t like Bowlers language When the air gets flamin’ Blue. Now the ‘SHRINK’ gave his opinion, “That me bowls need special care, They have a nasty “Syndrome” Which he said “Is rather rare!” He said “ it’s called “Dementia”, It’s contagious what is more, They’ve caught it off their owner!, ( Pay the lady at the door! )”. 16
Skew Wiff.
Ladies Selector’s Report
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ongratulations to all Pennant players for a very successful season. We retained our positions in four divisions and were promoted to Premier from 1 White. Two first Divisions played off for the flag viz. 1 Green and 1 White, unfortunately 1 Green missed out while 1 White went on to win a 1st Division flag. This is only the fourth flag Sorrento Ladies have won in 37 years. An interesting point in the statistics was one person who played in the first three flags 1979-80, 1986-87, 2004-05 was May Leyland, what a great achievement May. As you can see these flags are not easy to win. Saturday 1 Red also played off for the flag however they fell four shots short in the grand final against Gosnells which was a top achievement for those players as their aim was to retain 1 Red but surpassed all expectations. Third Division Purple battled early in the season but once the team was stabilised they moved up the ladder finishing fifth against very strong opposition. The above results for the season are showing that Sorrento Bowls is heading in the right direction; we have some up and coming bowlers showing a lot of promise. A thank you must go to our coaching staff for their assistance throughout the year; they have always been on hand to help out. The off season coaching has been a big part of our success on the green, with special thanks to Brian Clausen. I would like to thank all players and officials and once again congratulate you all. – Jan Cook
Well Done Ladies!
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n 11 March 2015, the following ladies created history for the Sorrento Bowling Club and of course themselves. They won the FIRST DIVISION WHITE PENNANT AND PREMIERSHIP FOR 2015. The teams were: • Pauline Bourne, Jan Cook, Sharon Eggers and Liz Marshall • Nerrida Porteous, Lily (Lee) Leach, Shelley Jeffs and Coral Smith • Moira Dean, Wendy Saul, Robyn van Mosseveld and Trish Cunningham After finishing on top of the 18 game season, Sorrento played off in the second semifinal, at Sorrento on Monday 9 March. They were soundly defeated by Manning Club and then had to survive the preliminary final on the Tuesday, against Mundaring, which 17
Ladies Pennant Play-offs – 1Green
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Ladies Pennant Play-offs – 1 White
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they won by two shots. This then qualified them to play Manning again in the grand final on the Wednesday on neutral territory at Victoria Park/Carlisle. They acquitted themselves very well and in three close games came out winners by four shots on the aggregate thus winning the first major pennant in Women’s bowls for some years. Congratulations to all the ladies who contributed to the team’s success, not forgetting those who may have played a part earlier in the season. This success individually will live in their memories for a long time as it can take many years to win a pennant. Hope you savour this one ladies. – GKW
What is a Pennant Flag!
( A new bowlers first look at a Pennant play off)
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ad another day off so I decided to go and watch our girls play Manning in the 1 White Pennant final at Vic Park. Because I drove down the skinniest car park in Australia, I didn’t make it there until the ninth end. Our girls/ladies/women, whatever the politically correct term is, were about 13 shots down on aggregate. Things were looking a bit grim. As the game progressed they got themselves together and scores were even. With three ends to play Sorrento had a six shot lead and were looking strong. Suddenly it was the last end for all the rinks. Three up, still anyone’s flag. Pauline’s team had made a tough fight back and were only a handful of shots down and one down on the last end. Without letting her face slip or showing any emotion, Pauline confidently put down two of the best Skippers bowls I’ve seen. She picked up the jack clean, twice, and this gave Sorrento two shots. Nerrida’s team were having no trouble showing the opposition how to bowl on the next rink but were at least six down when Nerrida put her big girl pants on to cut the deficit down to four. Moira’s side came back well from a slow start to be the last rink remaining. With one shot up on the aggregate and holding one in a not too tight head with all our bowls bowled and the opposition Skip with one bowl to come. It was out of Sorrento’s control now. You could cut the tension with a knife. Everyone’s bum was twitching like a rabbit’s nose. 20
The spectators were finding it hard to get a good view as the bowl came into the front of the head with a bit of extra weight, “pineappling” two bowls towards the jack and our bowl. We didn’t know if they were ours or there’s until little Trish had her arms pumping towards the sky. We were three up to win by four. The screaming started and the tears flowed and that was from the husband spectators to start with. What a great day for the Ladies and our Club. I hastily got back to our Club (after my fair share of cuddles and kisses) to warn Paul of the pending onslaught that you get when you mix women and alcohol. Bob Jeffs received a text message from Shelly saying “I’m on my way”. Telling me he wasn’t sure which way to take that. The champs arrived at the Club to cheering and champagne, with Jan Cook draped in a 1 White Pennant flag. She then decided to show it off for all to see atop one of our flagpoles. I believe Jan made the only mistake of the day, being told ten minutes later that the Pennant flag was upside down. I’m glad I was able to attend this special occasion. If you were unable, you missed out on special day. I heard that all the ladies are getting a tattoo to remember the occasion. Well done Ladies and good luck in PREMIER DIVISION next year. P. S. Can’t wait to see you play against the young girls from Manning, who were on the same green as you, if you didn’t notice. I did! I also may have made up the tattoo bit! SMF xxx – Author Unknown
“Tiger and Spider”
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f the names Brian Hogan and Phillip Webb were called out as winners in a raffle at Sorrento there would be a considerable number of people scratching their heads as to who had just got lucky. But if the bloke running the raffle sang out “Tiger” and “Spider” it would be a very different story. Instant recognition would of course follow and there would be nobody who would begrudge this affable pair of characters their success. These two knock-about blokes have led and are fortunately still leading, interesting lives chock-full of variety and challenges. Brian Leslie Hogan (named after his father Les) was born at Kununoppin Hospital, 60 kms north of Merredin, on the 1 September 1942. He attended Bencubbin primary 21
school and earned the nickname Tiger as early as that. He reckons the tag was put on him by his father’s mates when he used to bang on the hotel door trying to extricate a couple of bob from his dad. Not surprisingly, his father was quite a character. On one occasion Les Hogan indicated he was going to line up for a fight in the boxing troupe tent at the local show but that was just to get a crowd in because there was no way Les was serious. So he just wrestled and fooled around in the ring so as to keep his brains intact. Tiger’s nickname briefly changed to Ben, after he began his secondary education at Northam High school, after legendary American golfer Ben Hogan. At that stage young Hogan had never picked up a golf club but that later changed and, playing off a handicap of 13, he became Bencubbin club champion. He would have revelled in that new found status had Tiger Woods been on the scene then. In the intervening years, with his original nickname now set in stone, Tiger tried his hand at a number of business ventures, including a pub and shop at Muntadgin, out near Bruce Rock and stints on the family farm. But those endeavours were always underpinned by his frequent stints on huge American gas and oil rigs where he rose from general roustabout to a driller. During the winter months, Tiger was four times, in seven seasons, Bencubbin’s best and fairest as he cut a swathe through the mid-field. Then for a while in the summer Tiger played cricket but got sick of chasing balls all over flint-hard surfaces in the wheat belt. So he decided to take up bowls at Bencubbin where the surface was a lot more friendly and, besides, there was a clubhouse and bar up one end of the green. Tiger got to be runner up in the club’s singles but his bowling career was cut short when, at the age of 27, he ran off the road in his car, hit a tree and shattered both knee caps. As a result he did not play bowls again until he was 52. But when Tiger came back he came back strongly, being crowned Bencubbin singles champion in 2001 and 2002. He then joined Sorrento in 2004 and on three occasions 22
has reached the finals of our Club’s singles championship. If you take any notice of genes, Tiger is destined for longevity with his mother, Marj, recently passing away at the age of 103 and a half. Tiger points out that she was 11 months old when the Titanic went down. The closest nautical analogy we can draw there is that, over the years, Tiger has been known to sink a few schooners. But then so too has Spider, although he reckons drinking Guinness in Dublin is way more up market and a prestigious claim to fame in the nautical world is that he has cruised the Mediterranean. But then the remarkable ‘Spiderman’ has done so many more remarkable things. All will be revealed in the next newsletter. – Jim Woodward
Our Bowlers of the Year
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ur Bowler of the Year Award is an annual award presented to the man and woman bowler who accumulated the highest number of points in the bowling season. Points are awarded for each match won in Club Championship events. This award is the highest honour a bowler can achieve within our Club. For the 2014/15 season our Bowlers of the Year were Coral Smith and Alan Wood . In accepting the award Coral said she had gained inspiration for her successful year from a talk given by Therese Hastings when she came to talk to the members. Therese had stated that achievement came through goal setting and having a clear plan of how to achieve your goal. She had explained how the bowler must be in charge of the plan and posed the questions. What do you want to do? How do you want to do it? Coral achieved her plan of becoming Woman Bowler of the Year by playing her part in the winning Mixed Fours team. She was also a runner up in the Mixed Pairs and a runner up in the Women’s Pairs. Coral thanked her team mates in each of the Championship events as well as her team mates in the Women’s Pennant team that resulted in them bringing home the Pennant Flag.
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Alan said in his acceptance speech that whilst to be awarded “bowler of the year” was a great privilege it was not a solo achievement and you had to have some help along the way. He thanked John Sturk, Pat Dichiera, Bill Long and Ken Vercoe, his team members in the winning Men’s Fours and Triples competitions and Betty Stern his partner when he won the Mixed Pairs. Alan also paid a special tribute to his coach Ray Stapledon. Ten years ago when he and Ken Partridge took their first tentative steps into the game of bowls, Ray was there to meet them with his ‘bag of tricks’. Over the years Ray spent a lot of time and energy on Alan’s coaching and if there were any issues he was just a phone call away. Congratulations to Coral and Alan – you are an inspiration to us all. – Pauline Marsden
Hot Hints from Heardie Keep it straight and simple
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he name of our game is to be consistent and to be consistent you must be able to replicate your delivery with little or no variation. The best way to do this is to keep your delivery as straight and simple as possible. Keeping everything straight, including your body and backswing, along with limiting your movement during delivery will give you the best chance of keeping your consistency high. For a start you must line your feet up with your aiming line, especially your anchor foot (the foot which stays on the mat) you should always step onto the mat with your anchor foot first, while lining it up with your aiming line. Next bring your opposite foot up along side your anchor foot into a comfortable position. Now you have your feet and body in the right direction, your bowling arm needs to be extended out from the side of your body at the start of your delivery. This enables your back swing to go straight back and straight through during delivery. So remember Keep it straight and simple, relax and have fun . – Graeme Heard
Men’s Match Committee Report Men’s Singles The blue ribbon event on the Men’s club bowl’s championship calendar was concluded on Sunday 15 March. Bruce Eagles completed his second win in this event with a hard-fought 25-22 victory over Ross Cunningham. 24
Ross started the final well, with Bruce struggling to find his length but by the seventh end, the scores were tied. Bruce then scored consecutive three’s before Ross again fought back to level the scores again by the eleventh end. Again Bruce surged to a five shot lead but this triggered Ross to win the next nine shots to establish a four shot lead. This four shot advantage was still maintained until the 21st end, when Bruce went on a six consecutive end, nine shot run to establish what turned out to be the winning break to lead 24-19. Despite a couple of heroic saves from Ross, Bruce was able to gain the winning shot on the 31st end. A game worthy of a final fought by two evenly matched bowlers. Well done Bruce. The semi-finals of this event had seen identical 25-17 results by Bruce over Tony Sabatino and by Ross over Brian (Tiger) Hogan. Congratulations to all who participated in this event and to all markers and umpires who volunteered their services. Men’s Veterans Singles The first semi-final was contested between Frank Bomford and John Sanders. This was a keenly contested game but from the first end John just seemed to have that edge and although Frank played some good shots there did not seem to be enough of them to keep John at bay. John eventually won by 25 shots to 11. The other semi-final was between Peter Snow and Brian Clausen. This was a closer encounter and seemed to go on forever. Although Peter playing with his “John Sanders trained bowls” tried his utmost he was always chasing the leader. The scores on each end were kept to a minimum so the game lasted over two hours. In the end Brian won by 25 shots to 17. The final was thus between John Sanders and Brian Clausen. Except for the first six ends the final was a closely fought affair. There was a gremlin in John’s “starter motor” and he was nine shots down after six ends. However from that point on it was neck and neck as each player scored sixteen shots. There were some great bowls by both players worthy of a singles final. Those watching appreciated the skills of the players. In the end the first six ends was the 25
difference and Brian got home by 25 shots to 16. Police vs Sorrento Match The annual match was played on Wednesday 25 March, with 23 Sorrento (one no show) and 22 Police (two no shows) bowlers representing their clubs. Sorrento winners were Herbie Eisenmann, Phil Bilich, Ray Stapledon and Peter Snow by 10 shots, and the team of Ron Magerl, Coral Smith and Trevor Orton by 14 shots. Despite big wins to these two teams, Sorrento lost the overall tally by 97 shots to 99. This is probably the closest Sorrento has come to winning in about TEN years. A sausage sizzle preceded the event and drinks afterwards rounded out an evening played in perfect weather conditions. When next year’s match comes around, let’s put a really strong team on the green. Mens Pairs Congratulations to Ron Rogers and Brian Saul who beat Peter Robson and Brad Williams in the finals. Mike Carrigy and John Abercrombie beat John Collishaw and Wayne Gray in the Plate event.
Twilight Bowls Highlights At the end of 19 weeks of play, Brian Saul was the overall winner of this season-long competition. Brian’s best 10 card totalled 165 shots, with Ron Rogers’ 159 shots in second place. The rest of the “Top Ten of the Top Ten” were: 3. Ken Giles and Tony Sabatino 149 5. Ross and Trish Cunningham 131 7. Colin Cramond 130 8. Brian Self 117 9. Peter Balcombe 111 10. John Sanders and Tiger Hogan 110 It is interesting to note that: 26
• • • • • • • •
A total of 129 different bowlers took part this year. Two weeks were lost due to rain. Only two players played all 17 weeks – Alison Waldock and Stuart Wright 504 matches were played Ken Giles and Tony Sabatino recorded the biggest win for the season (+37), but you’ll have to ask them who they beat. $8,032 was collected $6,024 went to our Club in green fees $2,008 was paid out to round winners and “lucky fivers”.
Thanks go to Ken Giles and Richard Fermoyle for collecting the cards and cash and for other assistance rendered during the season. Other volunteers will always be welcome. Finally thanks to all the players for another great Twilight season. Easter Carnival Results will be included in the next newsletter. Forthcoming events Please note that the Men’s Trevors Carpet Handicap event is scheduled for Saturday 23 May 2015. Please also diarise Saturday 30 May for the first Dash for Cash. – Trevor Orton/ Richard Fermoyle
Bowls WA Management Committee Report
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lease note that the April meeting of the BMC was cancelled due to WA hosting the National Side Series from 9-12 April. This report outlines the agenda items discussed at the March meeting.
• A recommendation of the Bowls Management Committee to amend the title of
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the Rules Committee to the Umpires Committee was endorsed by the Board. The Chairman of the Umpires Committee presented a series of flow charts outlining the protocol for accreditation and re-accreditation of Officials. Clubs were asked to encourage their members to consider becoming Umpires. The post season Presidents’ and Ladies’ Forums will be held on 18 and 12 May respectively. Venues and times are yet to be decided. Further information will be sent to Clubs in due course. Nomination forms for Club of the Year will be distributed to Clubs in the near future. A sub-committee will be formed to consider all applications. Some amendments will be made to the current nomination form, including greater emphasis being placed on infrastructure and membership initiatives. It is hoped that there 27
•
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•
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will be an increase in both the number of Metro and Country Clubs nominating this year The Chairman of the Fixtures and Events Committee advised on the perceived programming difficulties of the 2015/16 Season, including a very early Easter which is likely to have an impact on Country Week, the start of Metropolitan Pennants and Pennant Finals. Difficulties experienced this year with the organisation of the Inter Region Round Robin competition were discussed. Problems included timing, availability of venues and a revised point allocation system. A proposal was presented by the Chairman of the Fixtures and Events Committee on the introduction of an “any gender” Saturday morning pennant competition. This would involve two separate competitions of 7 weeks duration, possibly one before Christmas and one in the New Year. Clubs could enter either one or both competitions. The game would involve 18 ends of fours with a 9.30 am start. This will not impact the current Saturday afternoon competitions. Specific details are still being considered/discussed and further information and will be communicated to clubs/members as soon as possible. An appeal by the Sorrento Bowling Club in relation to a 5th Division midweek Pennant game was presented and discussed. Following consideration of the evidence presented by both Clubs, the Bowls Management Committee upheld the Sorrento appeal A discussion took place regarding a proposal to change the Men’s 5th Division Saturday pennants from a 4 to a 3 rink competition. There was strong support from members for this proposal The Bowls WA annual awards night will be held at the Crown Perth Casino on Friday 22 May 2015. – Anne Lilley
Ladies Match Committee Report
Mixed Vets A number of our “older” members turned up to play Mixed Veterans late in February. Monique was quick to tell everyone that this was the first year that she was allowed to play. Graeme Whitehorn was accused of wearing make-up and Frank created history by declaring a head without putting down his last bowl. This was at the strong urging of partner Eleanor Adams. Frank’s usual attitude is “I am here to bowl, not to declare”. There were commiserations for the organiser and the umpire as it was agreed that they would both have to wait another twenty years to qualify for this prestigious annual event. Saulie surprised everyone by being first off. He then proceeded to pour iced water over Jan Cook which resulted in an impromptu wet T-shirt competition. Beryl 28
Around Our Club
Bruce Eagles and Ross Cunningham – winner and runner up in Men’s Single Championship Left: Some members think the fairies clean the windows – its actually Brian Lucas!
John Sanders winner of the special raffle prize at Pennant wind up (kindly donated by Brian Self)
Right: Another regular volunteer Kevin Coffey hard at work behind the bar Our Ladies go to Collie: Moira, Wendy, Liz, Carmel, Shelley, Coral, Jan in front, and Lorraine and Robyn at back, Wendy’s team got runner ups, a good time was had by all 29
and Frank Tutt managed to win a five on the first end of the day and to lose a five on their last end of the day. A good time was had by all. The morning winners were Nelly Heard and Ken Vercoe with Brian Saul and Lorraine Hyde winning the afternoon prize. Denise and Neville Odell managed to win both their games and ended up with 8+24 to win the overall prize from the new combination of Emily Dunn and Richard Fermoyle who were close runner’s up with 8+22 shots. Ladies Singles Championship The singles final was played on 18 February between Nerrida Porteous and Trish Cunningham in the Major and Beth McCormack and June Gregory in the Plate. It was another hot and steamy day that we endured this summer and I have to say that the girls looked rather cool and calm as they proceeded with their games. Beth got out to a ten to nil start before June was able to get on the board. Unfortunately June was overwhelmed by her opponent and Beth went on to win the game. Congratulations to Beth and to June for making the play-offs. Nerrida and Trish on the other hand had a very close contest. The score was even despite an occasional 3 being scored to put one of them 1 shot up. Then they would revert to scoring ones. It wasn’t until the 25th end that Trish scored a three which put her in front 22 to 18. After that Trish went on to score another one which spurred Nerrida into action and she won the next four ends to make the score 22 to Trish’s 23. On the next end Trish was holding shot with one shot to play she visited the head and decided that she would be happy to take the one shot that she was holding rather than be greedy and try for another shot. The last end was a nail biter with the lead changing several times before Trish was able to take the jack with her last bowl unfortunately Nerrida was unable to change the outcome with her last bowl.
From the supporters’ reactions and comments it was a great game to watch with some very good bowls being delivered. Nobody was able to drag themselves away from the game, except for Ross who had a delivery to make, however, he was seen parked in 30
his van at a high vantage point and was able to see Trish’s winning bowl. Well done Trish and Nerrida! Ladies Vets Singles Congratulations to Judy Campbell for winning the Veteran’s Singles. Eleanor Adams was the runner up. – Coral Smith
Croquet Corner
Croquet in York On the auspicious date of Friday 13 March, four intrepid croquet ladies, whose ages added to nearly 307 years, motored sedately (well almost) to the historic town of York to participate in the York Croquet Club’s annual “Progressive Over 65’s Competition”. Changing partners for each of nine games kept the individual scores pretty equal, but winning was not the main focus of the weekend! The fun and friendship, only slightly dampened by a Saturday shower, was manifest throughout the weekend and especially on Saturday evening at a BBQ hosted by Denis and Dorothy Bull at their lovely, large, country home. Great food and wine, consumed with lots of laughter and re-kindled old acquaintances, made for many new happy memories. We look forward to repeating the exercise next year. Platinum Day The annual Platinum Day, organised by the City of Joondalup for senior members of their community, was held on Thursday 26 March. The day, which was a great success, attracted 47 visitors who enjoyed samples of play in both croquet and bowls. The croquet section gave out invitations for a follow-up game to be held on Tuesday 31 March and welcomed four visitors back on that day. The day was enhanced by the provision of a delicious morning tea by the Croquet ladies. Special thanks goes to the organising committee under the Social Convenor, Jackie Harland and all club members who contributed before and on the day. Without your generosity and hard work these events could not be as successful as this one was! Thank you all! Farewell Tony Pilgrim On Thursday 12 March the Croquet Section held a fun “knock-out” competition followed by a social “Lunch Box” event. The day was well supported by croquet players and we took the opportunity during the lunch to present Tony Pilgrim with a small, engraved, wooden clock as a token of the croquet players’ appreciation and thanks for the work that he had done as a Groundsman over several years. 31
Tony resigned this position to move overseas with his new wife. From “The York Community Matters” Newspaper Here is a slightly modified version of an article, written by York Club reporter Eric Ayling, which appeared in the March 2015 copy of the paper: CROQUET – old ladies in white skirts, tea and cucumber sandwiches with the vicar. Is that your perception of croquet? Well, that is very wide of the mark these days with colourful uniforms being the usual order of the day and with the game increasingly being played by much younger people, who have come to dominate the top croquet competitions. Perhaps croquet never was as stuffy as popularly portrayed – in earlier days one of the major attractions of the game was the opportunity that it presented for flirting with unchaperoned ladies! The trick was to send the lady’s ball off the court and into the bushes so that there was an opportunity for canoodling! Well, well, – that would NEVER be the case these days! Would it? Summer Nights Results The results of this competition run by WACA for all Clubs were announced during the Easter long weekend with one of the Sorrento teams, Diana McGivern and Graeme Glover, being named as “Runners up” to the winning team in the C Grade Competition. Our teams will enter again for the “Autumn Nights” competition starting on 5th May. Trophy Presentation Night The annual Trophy Presentation Dinner, for both the Bowls and Croquet Sections, was held on Saturday 11 April. The Croquet Captain, Judith Skeet and Tony Fowke (our representative on WACA) presented the previously announced competition winners with their trophies. Three special awards were made with Kevin Cook being awarded the inaugural “Captain’s Trophy” for his strong support of the croquet section over the past several years. Robyn Rowe was voted to be the “most improved player within 18 months of joining the Club” and received the Netherclift Trophy. Diana McGivern was presented with the Stan Braybrook Trophy for all-round support of the Club, its members and for representing the Club externally. The event was attended by over 80 people with the croquet section being represented for the first time by 18 of our members. The evening was a huge success and Judith made the point in her speech that the croquet members look forward to integrating socially with other sections of the Club more regularly into the future. 32
Forthcoming Events for your Calendars 16 May Croquet Fun Day (New membership drive) 12 June Ladies Day 22 June Social Event (details to be announced) 3 July Ricochet Doubles Club Championship 14 August Ricochet Singles Club Championship 13 September Opening Day 25 September Golf Croquet Doubles Championship 16 October Social Event (details to be announced) 5 November Golf Croquet Singles Championship 11 November “Have-A-Go” Day at Burswood Park 9 December Croquet Christmas Lunch – Diana Mcgivern
Our Website – worth a visit
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hanks to everyone who maintains and updates the Club’s website, especially for the efforts of Derek Smith. Recently we added some improvements to the site including a virtual tour through the club house and onto the greens. It’s worth a look so go to www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au – Brian Lucas
Greens and Grounds
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s you may be aware, Tony Pilgrim resigned at the end of March and as a result we noted the need to restructure the greens Department. We have opted to return to the arrangement of having a full time greenkeeper and one contractor, with occasional assistance from a casual contractor. Prior to Tony leaving we had a consultant, two contractors and a casual. Our thanks to Richard Cox for the work he has done over the years in returning our greens to an acceptable standard and it was unfortunate that this year we struck a number of situations that delayed a return to a high standard for all five greens. We have appointed Alan McFayden as the new greenkeeper and he will commence work on 1 May 2015. We trust that you will give him every assistance until he gets to know most of you. Should you have any concerns with the greens I ask you to direct them to me and I will pursue the problem for you. During April we have relied more heavily on volunteers than previously and to all those who helped out thanks very much, we couldn’t have operated without you. There 33
will still be a requirement for assistance in the future as we need to keep the greens to a reasonable standard and ensure the paid staff have days off during the week. Please take careful notice of the greens board at the clubhouse entry which shows the status of the greens for the day. If reserved is shown that means it will be used by a group of players at some stage of the day and it is not to be used for roll-ups. Roll-ups are to be carried out on a green that states Open or Roll-Ups. We do this to spread the load on the greens to avoid deterioration of the surfaces. – Kevin Cook
How to Upset Your Lead
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ome Skips enjoy shouting out comments and observations about their Leaders bowls. It did not take long to accumulate the following demotivational comments offered by Skippers, in an attempt to actually motivate their Leads: • “Those were two terrible bowls for an A-grade Lead!” • “I didn’t know we had a driving Lead!” • “Was there anything in my instruction that you didn’t understand?” • “Do you want me to lead?” • “You’re short again! Did you get your hand caught up in your skirt?” • “You’re too wide, too heavy and too useless!” • “The opposition’s Lead is making you look like a beginner” • “Wake up Mate! We need bowls in the head Mate!” • “Much better bowl Mate – only two metres short!” • “Under no circumstances do you change your hand unless I give you permission” • “I’ll give you a kiss later!” • “Where have you been all afternoon? Welcome back!” • “If I want you to drive I’ll ask you!” • “That’s more like you. Where have you been? Rotto!” • “Great! You’re back on the bus!” • “We need you to bowl this time!” • “You need to be effing up!” • “You playing like a geriatric novice” • “Change hands! You’re being dominated on the back hand!” • “Is that a condom bowl?” • “Use either hand – just get one close” • “You’re tight and you’re light” 34
• “You’re weights good but you’re grass is shite’ • “It’s not coming out of your hand well today” • “If you listen to me you can’t go wrong” • “You’re opposition seems to have picked up the weight better” • “You’re as short as a prostitutes knickers” • “That’s not what I wanted” • “That was shocking leading” • “You’ve got to be up when you down!” • “Not bad for a pineapple” • “Take your time – you’re rushing” • “If I want a Robbo I’ll ask you for one” • “What the hell was that?” • “That’s better” • “Too heavy, too wide, otherwise good”
Tributes to Joan Whitham
– Anon.
A Tribute from Graeme Whitehorn I was privy to be invited to a wonderful memorial service for our life member Joan Whitham in the clubhouse on Wednesday 18 February, attended by around 200 of our members. Firstly, I would like to thank President Barry Bradshaw and the executive team for providing us with the opportunity to farewell Joan as a collective group. Secondly, my sincere thanks to Bruce Eagles for creating a special and almost sacred, feeling for Joan’s service. Bruce’s handling of the ceremony was first class and he was supported by contributions from Marie Smart and Brian Lucas, who both spoke with passion and sincerity about a lady they had been close to for many years. Finally, I’ve rarely been so proud to be a member of this wonderful club where we all came together to celebrate Joan’s life and her amazing gift to give of herself and time so freely. It was also wonderful to see and feel the emotional respect we all held for her when Joan’s Kitchen was announced. What a lovely honour and for all of us to remember her by when we are in the vicinity of the kitchen where she spent countless hours over twenty years. God rest her soul, she deserves it. A Tribute from Brian Lucas When I think of Joan, I reflect on the type of women who lived during her era – women 35
regarded as the salt of the earth. Woman who felt the aftermath of the Great Depression and understood the traumas caused by WWII and other wars. Ladies who knew about toil - labouring in their wash houses with their old coppers, manual ringers and wood chip heaters. Ladies who worked in their kitchens with linoleum floors and Metter’s stoves; watching their kids through the window playing in the adjacent bush while preparing biscuits and scones for their return home. When I remember Joan I see her toiling in our kitchen, Cedric leaning over the sink, helpers scurrying around preparing copious quantities of vegemite and peanut paste sandwiches, scones and cups of tea. I see Joan unloading the back of her little blue car, ladened down with loaves of bread, bags of groceries and freshly laundered, lace table cloths. I see her in the kitchen methodically reconciling her kitchen float to the last cent, happy that she had been able to buy tomatoes for only $1.99. I see her sitting at the table near the window with Marie and Dell and the other helpers sharing a bottle of wine, exhausted from their day’s labours but exhilarated by what they had achieved and the contribution that they had made to this Club. I see the look of delight, coupled with humility on her face when she was presented with a bouquet of flowers for her help in preparing the dart club lunch or being presented with an electric can opener or electric knife for the kitchen. We are so privileged to have known Joan and to have shared part of her life. To have seen first-hand her dedication and determination; her tireless effort and energy; her caring and giving nature; her humour and friendship and to have seen just how much her life was filled with giving to others and her devotion to this Club. Sadly we will not see Joan any more but her memory will remain strong. I am gladdened by those thoughts and memories and my confidence in where she is now – in God’s kitchen, bossing the angels around; preparing scones for the new arrivals – and she is happy. We are all so much richer for having known Joan – this wonderful, kind, giving, committed and loving lady – who gave her heart and soul for this Club. When we now look towards the kitchen, at the sign above the servery, we will be reminded that this will always be Joan’s kitchen and we will be reminded of what a special treasure she has been to us all. A Tribute from Marie Smart I have so many happy memories in my heart of when we shared unforgettable moments together. Stay with me while I recollect but a few! One of the most memorable 36
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is when I was bitten by a snake at the Zoo and I was asked who my next of kin was at that time, since I was on my own. I asked you and I was so proud that you agreed. At the Lion’s Club every Sunday at 5.30 am come rain or shine. Your baby blankets for PMH are still enjoyed by young children today and your craft raised so much money for our Gala days – all the time you thought of others. You managed to run our kitchen for years, plus doing all the shopping with your dear Cedric to help you. You organised trips to the Casino for so many for no more than $5.00, all thanks to you, dear lady! No need to sing your praises in the kitchen, Joan, as all the members are well aware of your over the top contribution. How you managed to continue on while you were so ill will always remain a mystery. Joan, we are all so pleased to have been a part of your life. I spent so much time with you, lovely lady and I treasure the time we had together. Such a wrench to carry on without you! Love you so much.
Wally Smith Silver Chain Charity Day
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he Sorrento Bowling Club has hosted a charity fund raising day for the Silver Chain organization every year over the past twenty one years and this year the event raised a donation of $1303, bringing the grand total raised over the years to $28915. The Silver Chain is a not-for-profit organization and is one of largest providers of community clinical and health care services in Australia. They offer a diverse range of services, including home care, palliative care, emergency care, family health care and other services. The event is called the Wally Smith Silver Chain Charity Day in memory of an earlier club member who was receiving health care when he suggested the inclusion of this event in the Clubs annual programme. A number of Sorrento bowlers or their family members are currently receiving Silver Chain care. The twenty-second annual event was held on Friday 20 February and following a great afternoon bowling, club members took part in a raffle of over forty prizes donated by corporate sponsors or club members. Funds raised from the raffle, together with a percentage of the days green fees donated by the Sorrento Bowling Club and including all money normally set aside for the days bowling prizes, was again donated. 38
Our Silver Chain Day Sponsors Sorrento Quay
ChadaThai Restaurant Koh-I-Noor Indian Restaurant
Sorrento
Fratelli Restaurant
Zenos Café Jettys Restaurant Zing Café and Restaurant Toscanini’s Restaurant Willey Creek Pearls and Fine Jewellery
Kingsley
Whitfords City
Carine Glades Tavern
777 Pharmacy Wild Cards & Gifts Five Star Meat Supply Lenards Chickens
Hillarys Shopping Centre
Goodfellas Hair Studio Hillarys Community Pharmacy Liquorbarons Liquor Store Hillarys Fish Market
Padbury
SuMo’s Hair Design and Barber IGA Supermarket Padbury Florist I.N.V.U Hair Studio 39
Kingsley Tavern
Duncraig
IGA Supermarket
Carine
Karrinyup Pells Sports
Wembley
Herdsmans Lake Tavern
Balcatta
WA Bowls World Dan Murphy – Special thanks to all the above who helped us achieve the $1303 donation to Silver Chain
Our Silver Chain Fund-raiser
Thanks to all our Sponsors for the lovely raffle prizes
Winners: Chris Tibbits, Sonia McGrady and Neville Odell
Monique Kopec, Jackie Maxwell, Sue Waldram, Margaret Cooper, Alex Third and Carmel Hyde 40 enjoying a drink after the game
Runners up: Stan van Mosseveld, Clive Webber, Kevin Scammell and Bev Carrigy
Sylvia McLaughlan, Eleanor Adams and Jenny Gandras selling raffle tickets
Bowling competition winners on the day were Chris Tibbits, Neville Odell and Sonia McGrady. They will have their names engraved on the perpetual trophy. Runners up were Clive Webber, Stan van Mosseveld, Kevin Scammell and Bev Carrigy. While it is not possible to thank all of the volunteers who either personally contacted local business houses seeking sponsors for the days events, donated prizes themselves or helped run the days events, we do need to thank some members who made a significant contribution, including Sylvia McLaughlan, Chris Tibbits, Pat Duffy, Kerry Sjepcevich, Wendy Stobie, Monique Kopec, Jen Gandras and Eleanor Adams. Also special thanks to Herbie Eisenmann and Joy Hennessy for their $50 cash donations. Dennis Saunders has donated a bottle of whisky each year, one of the very first prizes to be selected. This year it was two, one litre bottles. Thanks again Dennis. Sadly, Dennis and his “guard dog” Lily were unable to attend due to health reasons. We missed you Dennis, hope to see you soon. Each year the success of this fund raising event has been heavily dependant on the goodwill and generosity of many corporate sponsors. Club members are encouraged to appreciate and support the sponsors listed. – Neil McLaughlan
Five Undeniable Facts
A wise person once said: 1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes. 2. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks is PRICELESS. 3. Breaking News: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex any more. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman’s husband. 4. Arguing over a girl’s bust size is like choosing between Hansa, Heineken, Carlsberg and Budweiser. Men may state their preferences but will grab whatever is available. 5. A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. – Thanks to Jan Paniperis for the above 41
Lancelin Carnival
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nce again a very happy time had by all at the above event.
Two teams from Sorrento attended. Normally we have at least four teams but because a lot of our ladies were involved in the Saturday play off and 1 White and 1 Green playing off for the flag on the Monday (well done to all you ladies) our numbers for the weekend carnival were down. These country women are infamous for their hospitality, good humour and last but not least for the wonderful meals they put on. (Supplied by the “Blowfly Caterers”.) The Saturday night party was fantastic. The D.J this year was a very talented lady and her choice of music kept us on the dance floor for most of the evening. Dress theme this year was THE SEVENTIES! The greens were not too bad but the horrendous winds gave us concern whenever Carmel Hyde and May Leyland had to bowl. We had thought of putting weights in their pockets and lead in their shoes, as we did not want them to be blown away. – Annie Taylor
Darts Club Report
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ummer darts are now drawing to an end and winter darts are commencing. This is the first year Sorrento darts club has entered in the summer competition and I would like to congratulate all those that participated. Sorrento entered three sides in the summer competition, all of which made the finals which are due to be completed over the next couple of weeks. Sorrento has entered seven sides in the winter competitions – three in the Bowling Club and four in the Blue Water Associations. Sorrento Darts Club held their Annual General Meeting on March 9 2015 and the office bearers are: 42
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President – Wayne Gray Treasurer – Brian Lucas Secretary – Tony Jones Recorder – Ian Marshall Delegates Blue water – Phil Webb, Ian Marshall, Tim Best, P McPharlane Delegates Bowling – Bruce Cross, Kishore Dudhia, Tim Best
The meeting was advised there was no increase in fee’s and members were to check and ensure they were also financial members of the Bowling Club. It was agreed at the meeting that the Dart club would fund the relocation of the bowls trophy cabinet and dart boards Ian Marshall will be holding discussions with possible venues for this year’s trip. Further information will be provided at later date. So all our best wishes to the summer competition sides at the finals and we look forward to another successful year for the Sorrento Darts Club – Wayne Gray
Don’t Growl – Get in and Help
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his article was written forty years ago. Nothing much has changed!
“The growler is not unknown in most sporting clubs – he finds a lot to complain about but little to praise. He has his own strong views of what should be done, plenty of general criticism most likely of the Selectors but in general nothing seems to please him and it becomes a wonder why he remains a member. If there’s temporary trouble with the refrigeration and the coldness of the beer suffers for a short while there’s an outcry from him. The committee should have done this or done that or “That’s just what we could expect from this committee”. Management committees have to expect criticism but should be spared the attentions of the continual growler. Committees are generally hard working and sincere. They deserve encouragement and praise rather than the discouragement from the constant growler. Committees welcome helpful suggestions. They become doubly welcome when the one offering the suggestion volunteers his help to carry his suggestion out. Even though his help may not be needed his offer it is greatly appreciated. Committee men know the help is there if it is required. 43
The growler may complain about the condition of the club surrounds but does he offer to help make them look neater and more attractive? Not on your life. The sooner the constant growler is brought up with a round turn the better for everybody. Sometimes with an effort of great tact and persuasion the growler may be helped to become one of the club’s greatest workers. That may be done if the growler can be talked into joining the committee. It may need a miracle, but miracles happen sometimes.” – Author unknown. Originally published in W.A. Bowls Journal Volume 1 No 2 1975
From Behind Bars
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his will be the last report of the current Bar Committee. I am pleased with the results achieved in the past six months. The Action Plan associated with the Bar Operational Plan featured 85 items that needed attention. Fifty-six items have been completed, fourteen have been attended to but are of an ongoing nature and sixteen are in the process of being dealt with. I would like to take this opportunity to thank our Bar Manager Paul Dennis and the members of the Bar Committee for their efforts and support. I would particularly like to mention the time and effort being put in behind the bar over recent months by Ron Taylor and Graeme May, ably supported by Bar Committee members Kevin Coffey, James Baker and Glenn Boston. I would also like to acknowledge the willingness of other members like Gavan Ebsworth, Pauline Marsden and Judy Campbell to lend a hand behind the bar. At the request of the Executive, the Bar recently took over responsibility for the appearance of the clubhouse, resulting in: • Windows around the clubhouse have been cleaned inside and out, cobwebs removed from the skylight window and arrangements put into place for windows to be cleaned on a rotational basis by bar staff. • All chair backs have been cleaned and arrangements put into place to have them regularly cleaned by bar staff. • Surplus chairs have been stored in the shed to prevent their stacking around the clubhouse. Members may have noticed the precipitation occurring on two of the three cool room doors. As well as not presenting well, this creates a safety issue because of the pooled 44
water on the floor. The third cool room door is already heated which prevents this situation occurring. I am pleased to report that the City of Joondalup has generously agreed to replace the problems doors at a cost of $14,000. The City also recently removed and refitted the surrounds on the large cool room door. It is important that we acknowledge the strong working relationship that we have with the City of Joondalup and its officers and the great support that they give this Club. – Brian Lucas, Chair of Bar
Tech. Report
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or all those who have purchased a new PC or Laptop in recent times and are struggling with the disastrous Windows 8.1, then there is good news around the corner. .In a few months time (release date not yet finalised) Microsoft will release the new Windows 10. This will be free for the first twelve months (after release) for all Windows 7 & 8.1 users. They will even allow - according to sources - the upgrade for those who have ‘Pirated’ copies. A complete change in marketing attitude for Microsoft. How good will it be? Only time will tell but I intend to upgrade my Laptop and then make it available for the Club administrators and members to have a look at. This will allow the club to make a decision to upgrade or not to the newer faster system but being able to check on its suitability first. One thing to remember is that this new OS is geared towards the Tablet format and may not be as user friendly for the PC and Laptop but it does seem to be a big improvement on Windows 8.1. Please note: as Microsoft is renowned for changing its mind at the last minute, the final product could be slightly different.If you want more information please contact me – Derek Smith
Some Farewells
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t is always sad when we have to say farewell to members when they leave for greener pastures. In this edition of our newsletter we say goodbye to Tony Pilgrim, Chris Tibbits, Greg Day and Ercelle Smith. Tony, one of our hard working green keepers has left to settle in Thailand with his new family. He has promised to send us a photograph. Chris who has done so much for our Club organising social bowls is moving to Rockingham to be near his grandchildren. Greg, who has been our VP and Sponsorship manager for many years, is moving 45
to Yanchep and Ercelle, one of our social bowlers, has returned to Melbourne to be closer to her family. We wish you all well for the future.
Kitchen and Extension Works Delayed
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n disappointing news, the City of Joondalup’s Capital Works Committee has agreed to only partly fund our proposed expansion and upgrade of our kitchen and the construction of an additional five metre extension for office space on the western end of the building. Our proposal was to relocate the administration office into new office space to be constructed on the western end of the building and to expand the kitchen into the vacated administration office space. The kitchen, which is really only a food preparation and servery, was to be upgraded to a proper commercial kitchen. It was hoped that the City would fund the entire proposal and undertake the works in the next financial year. $184,000 has now been allocated by the City in its 2018/19 budget to fund the five metre extension of the western side of the clubhouse, leaving the Club to fund the $85,000 upgrade and expansion of the kitchen from its own resources. While disappointed with the decision, we appreciate that the Council is confronted with competing demands for funding from the many clubs operating within the City of Joondalup and the Percy Doyle Reserve. An alternative interim solution and funding options will be considered by the Club over the coming weeks.
Occupational Health and Safety OH&S is a most important aspect of our Club’s operations. Safeguarding our staff, volunteers, members and guests must always be paramount in our thinking and hence the focus given to OH&S in our new structure. I gratefully acknowledge the recent work undertaken by Club member Darren Anstee. Darren who is a qualified and accredited Portable Appliance Tester, has generously undertaken a comprehensive test of the Club’s electrical appliances operated in the kitchen, bar, dining area and offices and provided a Portable Appliance Test Certificate. Darren will shortly test all of the Club’s fire services equipment. Our thanks to Darren for his generous contribution to the Club’s safety assurance. – Brian Lucas 46
Progress Report on our Artificial Surface Green
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he Artificial Surface Review Group received a resounding ‘YES’ to the member questionnaire with better than 85% of replies, numbering just over 120, indicating that we should continue with the research into the viability for the introduction of an artificial surface to one or two of our greens. That process has progressed with several metropolitan club visits to explore the supplier selection and funding process and products used and the relevant successes for the various surfaces currently used. The early indications are that the more recent products on offer, be it carpet of synthetic sand filled are experiencing better performance results than the older earlier products and generally have good membership acceptance. The list of clubs that have recently installed or are in the process of installing artificial surfaces is significant and growing and unfortunately not all can be canvassed for opinions due to that large number, so we have taken advice from Bowls Australia representative Clive Adams on which clubs to visit and those clubs in turn have made further recommendations. This advice has been valuable and has provided great insights to what we need to include in discussions with suppliers and in deed what suppliers to contact. Budget quotations are currently being requested from the recommended suppliers for several options that include one eight rink green with the option for one additional existing size green. Green selection and sizing options are not yet finalised so no recommendation can be made at this time. We have determined that a roof over an artificial surface will extend the life of the surface considerably while offering extended playing conditions throughout the year with significant income generation potential, so we have included that option for research. A roof now or in the future has so many benefits that it has to have serious considerations despite the added cost and logistical issues such as shading and the need for near proximity to the club room facilities. We continue with this aspect of our research. A bit of interesting trivia, the company we have received budget pricing from has just won the roofing contract for the new 47
sports arena at Burswood. Much more work is required by the research group as hurdles and issues arise as each option is explored but with so much support from members for the research to continue we intend to continue to define the life cost and funding options as we determine the afford ability aspect of this project. Thanks to those members who have expressed support of our efforts. – The research group: Kevin and Jan Cook, Tony and Pauline Bourne and Russ Lockwood.
The Perfectionist I know a ‘certain some-one’ Who’s perfection to extremes, Who’s never wrong in any way, Not in your wildest dreams And this ‘certain someone’ Is so pure and so polite, And never ever makes mistakes, And always is so right. It really is amazing, And I could sing a song, About this ‘certain some-one’, Who’s never ever wrong. It’s not the local Parson, Or the bloke who never lies, It’s not the Judge and Jury, Or that Angel in the skies. I’d tell you who’s perfection, And I could tell you more, But I’d better hide this poem, As she’s coming in the door. – Skew Wiff 48
MURPHY’S BOWLS LAWS Murphy’s Original Law “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”
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ou’re sitting in four lanes of bumper-to-bumper traffic. You’re more than ready to get home but you notice, to your great dismay, that all of the other lanes seem to be moving. You change lanes. But once you do, the cars in your new lane come to a dead halt. At a standstill, you notice every lane on the highway (including the one you just left) is moving – except yours. Welcome to the aggravating world of Murphy’s Law Ivan Campbell, a bowler from North Beach, found the following “Murphy’s Bowls Laws” in an old file and written twenty years ago. Unfortunately we cannot acknowledge the original author so we have recorded this contribution as anonymous. 1. If you feel like playing well you probably won’t. 2. It’s never as easy as it looks. 3. Luck always sides with your opponent. 4. No matter where your opponent’s bowl finishes it will be where he wanted it. 5. If your drive removes a bowl it will be yours. 6. If it is impossible to miss you will. 7. By making your instructions perfectly clear, your Third will be confused. 8. If you play a shot your Third agrees with you are lucky. 9. If your opponent gets a wick shot it will be off your short bowl. 10. If there’s a 50% chance of getting shot, there’s a 75% chance of missing. 11. You opponents bowl falls in, yours falls out 12. Your Lead can’t draw, your Second can’t score, your Third can’t drive and you’re 35-5 down. You’ll be back!! – Anon. 49
Ron Rogers in action The February 1984 edition of Jack Hi features a very young Noel Summers announcing a Swan Special Light sponsorship for the Masters Singles which was held at Royal Park in those days
A young Greg Day!! Some say this is the last time we had an “erection� on B green
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Some Photos from the Archives
Some of our members a few years ago
Letters to the Editor Dear Neville, Darts Club Raffle I have found that many of the Bowling Club members are not aware that the Friday night Meat Raffles are actually run for the benefit of the Darts Club. We are told that the Darts Club actually spend most of this money for the benefit of the Bowling Club. We are therefore interested in finding out just what percentage of the Darts Club’s income from its Friday night raffles in the last year has been used directly for the Bowling Club. As the Ladies have been refused permission to run a raffle to raise money for a bus for away Pennants games, we would be very interested to find out this figure. Yours faithfully, Interested Bowler. Hi “Interested Bowler” The Dart Club has made no secret of its running of the Friday night meat pack raffles at the Club, frequently publicly thanking participants in the raffle for their valued support of the Dart Club. This has been the case for over 30 years thanks to the dedication of Keith and Margaret Cooper for the past 10 years; Con Stephenson before that; Dave Wallis and Brian Lucas dating back to the eighties. The majority of the money collected in the raffle is returned by the way of prizes, either meat packs or hams. Surplus funds are also used for the Dart Club free hams raffle held at Christmas to thank regular raffle supporters and hams donated for bowling club raffles. The Friday night raffle supplements Dart Club funding raised through dart membership fees, match fees, donations and our dart night raffles. The Dart Club also contribute regular capital acquisitions to the bowling club, including: • Sliding glass door in the sports area • Limestone steps to the veranda • Signage for bowls honour boards in the hall area • Two Plasma televisions sets • One LCD television set • Bowls mats and jacks • Utensils for the kitchen • Installation of the Club’s sound system • CCTV security system 51
• Original Pennant boards • And more.... An accurate percentage of the distribution of funds between the two clubs is difficult to calculate and will change from year to year depending on monies raised, prizes presented, capital acquisitions, surpluses held, etc. Darts are played all year round, with the major team competitions held during the cold, winter months when patronage of the Club is typically low. Revenue over the bar as a result of darts is substantial and supplements the coffers of the bowling club. Suffice to say that the Dart Club and the Bowling Club have worked cooperatively and constructively over many years and represent a true win-win relationship. – Wayne Gray Dear Neville, Chalk in the Sock I’m interested to know why some bowlers insist on putting their piece of chalk into their sock. When it becomes necessary to mark a toucher the game is delayed whilst a search commences to locate the piece of chalk some where in the sock. The whole procedure re-occurs when the chalk needs to be replaced into the sock. Surely there must be a better place to “store your chalk”! Cheers Speedy Dear Speedy Think of the starving masses in the World today and then get your priorities right Your Editor Dear Mr. Editor Donation from Dennis Saunders for the Silver Chain Charity Day We received yet another donation from our dear friend Dennis Saunders! This gentleman has been donating bottles of excellent Scotch whiskey to fund raising events for many, many years. Dennis and Lily (his beautiful King Charles Spaniel) have been coaching us from the bank since Dennis could no longer participate in lawn bowls due to health problems. We should not forget the stalwarts who have made our Club what it is. Don’t think ‘out of mind, out of sight’, think what a great club member he was and still is. Salutations to a very special person! – Annie Taylor 52
To the Editor, We All Make Mistakes I was playing a pennant game at North Beach recently where a fellow Sorrento bowler, on the next rink, was leading against another bowler with identical bowls as his own. (So he explains) Apart from the picture logo and a big purple sticker on each side. Not only did he send down his opponent’s bowl, he also sent it on the wrong bias, entering my rink. Life is cruel sometimes. And no PB, I won’t let you forget. I just wish you wouldn’t do that! – Rick Munt Mr. Editor What a great Club As I was playing finals at Sorrento I was amazed at the number of men’s teams were representing the club. The success of our ladies, promoted to 1 Red again and Pennant winners and the Saturday Division team just missing out on winning another Pennant got me thinking. The Development Squad and Lead Coaching days, that the committee led by Brian Clausen which was ran pre-season surely helped bowlers at our Club. The visits by Steve Glasson and Therese Hastings were inspirational. Perhaps anyone lucky enough to be a part of these coaching sessions might have gained just enough confidence and self-belief as they stood on the mat to play the shot needed to make a difference or am I the only one who feels this way. Anyhow, I’d like to thank Brian and his team for their interest, dedication and efforts. – Tony Bourne
Offer to Members from – Cellarbrations
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lub sponsor, Arthur Naoum, owner of Cellarbrations in Duncraig which is located in the Burragah Shopping Centre, is offering Sorrento Bowling Club members the opportunity to join their Wisebuys Loyalty Programme. Wisebuys is exclusive to the Cellarbrations at Duncraig Liquor Store and is designed to give Club members a dollar value and points for all purchases they make. Register for this “cardless” program simply by providing your name and a contact number when you next visit the store. Each time you shop with Cellarbrations just mention the program and all purchases will be credited to your Loyalty Account. Redemption of points can occur at any time. Arthur extends a warm and friendly welcome you all Club members. Mention where you are from and he and his staff will certainly look after you. Remember to support the generous 53 sponsors who support your Club.
Please support our Sponsors
Balcatta (Northlands) Call Rod, Lyn Suzee or Lew on 08 9345 2033 or e-mail northlands@helloworld.com.au for all your travel needs.
Cellarbrations Duncraig Shop 6, Duncraig Shopping Centre, 8 Burragah Way Duncraig 08 9243 6681 54
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Trevors Carpets The best knowledge – the biggest range – the right advice Osborne Park 9202 4545 Paul Waite
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Joondalup 9300 3633 Rob Crane