Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 40 March 2011

Ian Wittber, Steve Glasson and Ian Marshall at the Sorrento Masters Singles

Sorrento Bowling Club Newsletter Number 40 March 2011

If you need security doors or screens, speak to club member Barry Bradshaw or call Safeway Security Screens on 9314 1774

Contents Presidents Report Message from the Lady Captain Men’s’ Match Committee Ladies Match Report Ladies Pennants Croquet Report Darts Report Did you hear?

“Take Grass” Excuses for bad bowls Tribute to Merv Hennessy 1930-2010 Volunteers – Who needs them?

Sorrento Masters Singles Synthetic Greens Junior Bowls Development Umpire’s Corner Joe Stow Heart Foundation Day Father and Son Evening Socrates Lauded for his Wisdom Poetry Corner Ladies Gala Day 2011 A Selection of Photos from the Ladies Gala Day A Day Trip to Mundaring (as recommended by Ray Linsdale) “ Morning Sex” RSL State Bowls Sorrento Bowling Club Art Exhibition 2011 Born and Bred Too by Kitty Mist Some Notes from your Editor Make over of Ladies Locker Room Plea to all Members of Sorrento Kiwi bowler’s indecent exposure ban lifted Ladies Delegate Report Answers to Umpire’s Corner Quiz

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Presidents Report

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n our September 2010 newsletter I stated that we would have all greens open for the start of the season. Unfortunately I was proven to be incorrect. We did have two greens available; unfortunately the other greens did not come on as I had anticipated.

To all members I apologize for the lack of greens and thank you all for your patience and understanding. The good news is that we now have all five greens back in use.

As mentioned at the half yearly meeting in December 2010 our membership numbers have remained relatively steady. We have lost some members to other Clubs, which is understandable as some members move to Clubs closer to home and others for their own reasons. At the same time we have gained members from other clubs. Both Croquet and Darts have also seen an increase in membership.

I would once again like to say a big and grateful thank you to our members, who give up their time to come along to busy bees. You have to agree the Club-house is looking a lot smarter now the painting has been nearly completed. The tiling along the front of the bar looks good and will make it easier to keep clean. There is still a lot to be done and it will take time and money to have it all completed.

I would also like to remind all that our volunteers spend a considerable amount of their time working for the betterment of the Club and they too have families. They too need assistance and it would be appreciated if more people came forward to assist. So please don’t overload them or they too will take the view of other members and leave it to others.

I cannot forget our gardeners who turn up every week to maintain the garden beds.

They are a credit to the workers and the Club. As mentioned above they too need assistance. In Clair Hanlon’s report later in this newsletter she pays special tribute to Moira Dean and Annie Taylor for all the work they have done on our gardens. I would also like to say thank you to you both. Our gardens always look good and your efforts will be missed.

Quotes are being obtained to revamp the bar area, re pave the area at the rear of the kitchen that has been sadly neglected. The main office and match office have been upgraded, once again by volunteers and both have made it easier for the staff to perform their duties.

Our kitchen has been gutted and up-graded to the standards set by the City of Joondalup at their expense. I thank the City for their continued support of the Sorrento Bowling Club.

As the Club grows so does the workload and it became obvious to members of the

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executive that a full time employee was required to manage the business affairs of the Club. We were able to acquire the services of Alison Moulton who had left the Osborne Park Bowling Club. Alison comes with a wealth experience in managing a Club as large as ours.

Finally on behalf of all our members I would like to say a very special thank you to Glenn Boston for all the work he has done as our Bar Manager over a period of nearly seven years. To all members have a great 2011 and stay healthy.

– Ian Marshall

Message from the Men’s Captain

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n behalf of the Men bowlers, I’ve have spoken to John Sanders and asked him to wish his lovely wife Mary a speedy recovery. We hope to see this magic couple down here again bowling together as they do!

Ron Rogers will have a few more weeks with his leg in plaster. I believe he is recovering well because he handles his wheel-chair perfectly and never spills a drop of beer.

The Men’s Saturday Pennant teams, after 13 rounds, are doing very well overall.

Div 1 Blue North are in 1st position and are 13 points ahead. Brown, Anderson, Bone and Eagles have the best average stats with 10 wins and 91 shots up.

Div 2 White are in 4th position with Olive, Hauck, Grisbrook and Odell with best average stats with 9 wins and +53 shots. Div 3 White is in 3rd position with the team of Marshall, Stapledon, Price and Gray with best average stats.. They have won 10 games with +98 shots.

Div 3 Gold are in 6th position with Sabatino, Oldershaw, Webster and Long with the best average stats. Div. 4 White are in 5th position with the team of Tennant, Webb, Taylor and Bourne with the best average stats.

In Div. 4 Gold we are in 6th position. The team with the best average stats is Snow, Sjepcevich, Eisenmann and Dichiera. Div. 5 White are in 9th position. The team of Tibbits, Murphy, Heathcote and Oates is the best performing team. Div. 6 Lime are in 10th position with Burdon, Katz, Taylor and McDermott having the best average stats.

On Thursdays after 12 rounds Div. 2 Blue are in 2nd position. The team of Saul, Cramond, Collishaw and Welch are the best performers with 10 wins and 70 shots up. Div. 3 White are in 2nd position with the team of Peters, Bennett, Grisbrook and Elliott having the best record.

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Div. 3 Blue are in 2nd position. Campbell, Stapledon, Long and Kennedy are the best performers with 9 wins and a massive 106 shots up. Div. 3 Gold (1) are in 2nd position with the best performers being the team of Cooper, Heard, Stewart and Gray.

Div. 3 Gold (2) are in 10th position. Ebsworth, Berecry, Bradshaw and Turner have the best average stats. Div. 4 Red are in 4th position. Benn, Jones, Fermoyle and Maiolo have the best average stats.

Div. 5 Red are in 6th position. The team of Cleary, Hooper, Conyngham and McDermott are the best performers. Div. 5 Blue are in 8th position. Routledge, Rowland, Bangs and McLennan are the best performers.

Finally I would like to remind all Duty Team Members to make sure that: • mats, jacks and umpire’s trolleys are taken out early • the flags are raised - preferably the correct way around (and not upside down). The Sorrento flag must be closest to the Clubhouse • they have at least one person selling raffle tickets. The number of tickets sold and the money collected should be reconciled before handing the proceeds to the bar.

• one eske per green is filled with iced water and put out. There is no need to add lime juice cordial.

• after the departure of the duty team’s opponents please make sure everything is returned, including the trolley that has the rink allocations on it. This trolley can fold up and be carried through the front door. Most people wouldn’t know this mainly because they haven’t ever done it! (Do not return this piece of equipment to the Match Office - just opposite will suffice.)

Paper cup holders are located around the greens. If you are going to use a cup more than once put it in your bowls bag and use it again. If not put it in a rubbish bin. Do not leave it with a small amount of water in it (maybe it is for the magpies??) Or upside down on a rink boundary peg - the wind will put it in the ditch or garden. Try thinking, it may be a new experience!!

– Tiger Hogan

Message from the Lady Captain

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ope you all had a Happy Christmas and that you have a good year in 2011.

All the Ladies would like Mary and John Sanders to know we are thinking of them during this difficult time. We send our love and wish Mary a speedy recovery.

The Ladies Gala Day was a great success, more details and photos in a separate report

by Kath later in this newsletter. Well done to all!

Moira and Annie, after many years of sterling service, have decided they can no longer assist with the gardening. Our gardens have received much praise due to their

Show your Sorrento Bowling Club membership card at Brumby’s Bakery Whitfords and Darch Stores and receive a 25% discount on in- house baked items

hard work and horticultural prowess. Many thanks to you both!

In the last newsletter I asked for more support in Club Championships – this fell on deaf ears! The Match Committee work hard for these events, it must be disheartening for them to see such a lack of interest. The Ladies Championship Fours was an example of this with only 10 teams entering!!!

Our Ladies Rest Room has had a face lift. The efforts of Kath Harris and a team of men (painting) are to be applauded.

Two of our ladies were made Life Members at the half-yearly meeting, namely Joan Napier and May Leyland. This was for their services to the Club over many years.

Congratulations! Good bowling to all for the rest of the season, Pennants and social.

– Clair Hanlon

Men’s’ Match Committee

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ll members please note the date for our end of year trophy presentation night has been changed. It will now be held on Saturday 16th April 2011

The mixed fours championship concluded on Sunday 14th November. The final was played in warm but windy conditions on a 16 second green.

Both the major championship and the plate were extremely close matches, with both decided on the final end. The major was won by Neville Odell, Kath Harris, Denise Odell and Trevor Orton who defeated Mary Sanders, Niel Adams, Barbara Hill and Roland Hill 17-15. Trevor’s team led 16-4 after 12 of the 19 ends, but then 6 consecutive end wins to Roland’s team closed the gap to 1 shot with one end to play. At 2-down on the final end, Roland Hill’s final bowl promoted their own bowl on to the jack, but unfortunately that bowl trailed the jack to their opponent’s bowl leaving them 2 down for the match.

A similar story evolved on an adjacent rink in the plate final. With the scores tied after 18 ends, and down 2 shots, Marty Angelo trailed the jack, but left it about 1 cm closer to their opponent’s bowl. The winning team was Coral Smith, Wayne Gray, Sharon Eggers and Kevin Coffey. The unlucky losers were Val Thornett, Mike Thornett, Jean Middleditch and Marty Angelo.

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A disappointing field of 13 teams entered the event. Thanks to all who took part. I hope to see more enter this event next year.

The Men’s’ Triples was won by Ron Rogers, Trevor Peters and Warren Elliott with Peter Robson, Wayne Olive and John Collishaw as runners up. The game was very close with only one or two shots separating each end with John and Warren leading well. Ron Rogers with his well-known upshot killed or broke up a few heads!

The final of the Plate was played under ideal conditions (no wind and a 15 sec green).

At 18 all on the 21st end another end was required which Richard Bone, Mike Carrigy and John Abercrombie managed to win by two shots.

– Trevor Orton and Ken Giles

Ladies Match Report

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he winners of the Ladies Triples were Mary Sanders, Barbara Hill and Rhonda Prosser Runners up were Lee Leach, Kath Harris and Vonnie King Marilyn Bradbury, Eileen McRae and Denise Odell won the Plate event.

Moira Dean and Monique Kopec won the Pairs beating Fran Bracknell and Vonnie King in the final. The Plate was won by Kath Harris and Lee Leach.

In the Novice Singles Marilyn Bradbury beat Jenny Lockwood.

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Everyone enjoyed the sponsored Grand Cinema Fours. The overall winners were Roland Hill, Barbara Hill, Eleanor Adams and Niel Adams with Pauline Bourne, Tony Bourne, Kevin Cook and Jan Cook runners up.

Morning winners were Ron Taylor, Annie Taylor, John Warner and Betty Stern.

Neil McLaughlan, Sylvia McLaughlan, Clair Hanlon and Ken Giles winning in the afternoon.

Our Gala Day winners were a team from Scarborough Beach - J Bradshaw, J Bishop, F McDonald and S Robinson – Marie Smart

Ladies Pennants

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he Tuesday pennants are going O.K with Premier and 2 Blue struggling. 1 White and 2 Green are both in 5th position while 4 Red and 5 White are both in 4th position.

We do try to help all teams to get consistency but with people off for different reasons it is quite hard to please everyone. We are trying to do the best for the club.

We would like to know anyone who will be unavailable from the 13th game (15th Feb.) as we have to nominate 2 players from each team that can be rotated and don’t want to nominate someone whom is not available.

The players seem to be enjoying Saturday Pennants with both teams in 5th position, but we are still waiting to get our points back for 3 Pink from the Swan game.

We would all like to send our best wishes to Mary Sanders and hope to see her well soon. Good bowling for the rest of the season – Vonnie King

Croquet Report

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hope everyone had a successful Christmas and to the travellers welcome home to our sick members. We wish you a healthier 2011.

Yes it has been a hot January. However with our light we have started Tues. evening play, then into the air conditioned bar for a cooling drink! Also the first Friday of the month we start play at 4 pm. (These are extra playing times) Look forward to seeing you all at croquet .

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–Kate Taylor

Darts Report

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ixty dart players, partners and guests attended the 2010 Annual Darts Wind-up and Trophy presentation on Sunday 14th November 2010. The Dart Club’s president Brian Lucas welcomed special guests that included the President of the Bowling Club, Mr. Ian Marshall and Mrs. Liz Marshall, and emphasised the important relationship that exists between the darts and bowls clubs.

Brian also acknowledged the significant contribution that has been made by the Club’s secretary and major sponsor Wayne Gray; Club treasurer and recorder Des Bennett; and the wonderful effort put in by Margaret and Keith Cooper in running the dart raffles.

Howard Jones was recognised as the big winner on the day collecting trophies for the Club’s singles champion, doubles champion (partnering with Eddie Tassone), highest average for the Premier League (with a 75 plus) and most pegs. Howard recently won the Australian Legion’s Singles Championship that was held in Geelong, Victoria.

Well done Howard.

Other winners were: Ray Downham (runner up in the Club’s singles championship) Tony Kay and Juris Lorencs (runners up in the Club’s doubles championship) Tony Kay was the highest average for 2nd Division (West Coast) Phil (Spider) Webb won the most pegs for 2nd Division (West Coast). Spider also picked up the prize for the highest peg for the year with a 158.

Ross Howlett won the 2nd Division (Bowling League) and also the most pegs.

Ron Kuziela scored the highest peg in that division with a 111.

Des Bennett scored the highest average in 3rd Division Bruce Cross get the most pegs in 3rd Division and, Eddie Tassone got the highest 3rd Division peg.

Maximum 180 scores were hit by Doug Lorencs, Phil Michael, Des Bennett and Brian Lucas and Howard Jones got nine of the blighters.

Joan, Dell and Eleanor put on a marvellous spread that was appreciated by all. There was even enough for the social bowlers to have a feed after their game.

Well it’s approaching that time of the year again when the winter darts competition begins. The Dart Club is holding its AGM on Tuesday 8th February and the first competition game kicks off on 10th March. We will be fielding a second Premier division team this year with the influx of a number of 80 average plus players.

The format for the West Coast Association will change this year with Second division 13

moving from six man teams to four man teams. I think that sporting club association administrators must wake up in the morning and say to themselves “I need something to do today - what rules haven’t been changed in the last few years?”

Anyway, we are looking for more dart players, so if you are interested then let me know. We are planning to have five sides playing in two associations, ranging from Premier division through to fourth division – so we can cater for all players ranging from the very good through to the novice.

Neville Odell asked me to rack my brains (the few that are left) to come up with a list of things that the Dart Club has donated to the Bowling Club over the years. I am sure it’s not complete but here goes: • Ladies’ and Men’s Bowls Pennant Boards • Original TV in the darts area • Club’s sound system • 50” plasma TV and bracket in the Hall area • Pots and pans for the kitchen • Crockery for the kitchen • Repairs to the bar ceiling and new lighting • Bowls mats • 50” plasma TV and bracket in the western end of the Club • Connection of wiring between TVs and the computer system The Club is keen to recognise the considerable assistance and contribution provided to both the Dart Club and the Bowling Club by Wayne and Shelley Gray.

A short note of worldly wisdom – marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need are two hearts and a diamond. By the end you are looking for a club and a spade.

– Brian Lucas

Did you hear?

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id you hear that out of the fourteen bowlers rolling up a few weeks ago seven of them were Brian’s? (We counted in “Tiger” Hogan who is a Brian as well as Bryan Townsend whose father got the spelling wrong). We also managed four Byrnes in a recent Pennant game (three of which were Des) as well as four “Bobs” in a Men’s’ team from Morley! ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you know that Euie Tennant swaps crayfish for sausages? Apparently when he is up north on his annual holiday it pays to take him some sausages and do the swap!!

Please note Euie is the only club member with four vowels in his name! ☺☺☺☺☺ 14

Did you hear that Noel Summers has just celebrated his 80th birthday? For newer members Noel was responsible for getting the Masters Singles transferred to our club when Royal Park Bowling Club closed down. Well done Noel for reaching the Big 80! ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that Trevor Orton travelled all the way to play Pennants in Kalamunda and left his bowls at Sorrento? He ended up scratching the stickers off Lindsay Baker’s spare set and using these! ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that our 4th Division Gold team managed to beat Warwick by 116 shots on the aggregate? ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear about Chris Tibbits special offer for the raffle on Joe Stow Memorial Day? You could buy three tickets for $1 or five tickets for $2! .If you bought three at a time you could get six for your $2! ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you know that Barbara Spence now has six grandchildren and four great- grandchildren? ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you know that beetroot juice may ward off Alzheimer’s as it increases blood flow to the brain? ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you know that Dennis Saunders always donates large bottles of Scotch and wine to our raffles? Thank you Dennis for “adding value” - thereby making our raffles more attractive and easier to sell tickets. ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that Marie Smart received a Certificate of Appreciation from “Celebrate WA” for her help with Oz Concert on Australia Day? ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that bulk carriers transported 120000 tons of Australian salt to Britain to help them de-ice their roads during their freezing weather? Most of this comes from WA’s new desalination plant. ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear about a green of lawn bowlers who were laid out and hospitalised by 16

tennis-ball size hailstones? I’m trying to get more details! ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you know that Judy Campbell’s son Brett Campbell is now the sponsor for the Ladies Pots? Judy is hoping that Brett and his wife Carmel will join Sorrento as Social members.

Brett was a good footballer in his time and now plays golf when he is not busy with his garden care business. Hopefully one day we will see him playing on our greens. Thank you Brett for your generosity.

It is appreciated by all the ladies. ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you know that Osborne Park Bowling Club has an excellent website? If you go to osborneparkbc.com.au you will find lots of news and photos about bowls in WA – Neville Odell and Jane Holland

“Take Grass”

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irst of all thank you to Graeme Heard who has been writing “Hot Hints from Heardie” for the last five years. He has asked that I take over the Coaches Corner.

You will see that this column is called “Take Grass”. This is to remind us all about how important it is to take grass. Far too many bowls cut the centre line and end up narrow. A well-known Skipper was seen to bowl two wrong bias’ recently – a severe case of “no grass”.

We are now into the 2nd round of Pennant fixtures and all players should look at their performance to date. Has your performance been satisfactory ??? We have a number of under performing teams. (See Tiger’s report for details).

Does your team have prospects of making the finals or will you be trying to avoid relegation? Could you lift your game by say 10% ?

This means that you only need to get an extra four bowls into the head during the game! You owe it to your team. A word or two with one of the coaches could be beneficial.

Remember; “SKILL” If you don’t bring it with you, you won’t find it during the game” – Ray Stapledon 17

Excuses for bad bowls

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ome more excuses for bad bowls!

• ”I haven’t quite got the right weight for the shot I intended.” = So what’s new?

You’ve never been less than 95 kg anyway • ”It slipped out of my hand.” =And now she’s in Charlies with a broken toe • “It stuck to my hand.” = Amazing stuff Super Glue.

• “Sorry I dumped it”. = Never mind, incontinence gets us all in the end.

• “The sun was in my eyes”.=Lifted your stupid head again!

• “I don’t really want to play today.”= Well all right then, if that’s how you feel, let’s go to bowls instead.

•“This is not my preferred hand or length.” = So OK Gwendolyn, you’re no great shakes in the sack either.

• “I’ve got a lot on my mind.” = Could have fooled us.

• “I just can’t find it today.” = Yes well that’s what the cold weather does for you.

• “We’re both having luck – you’re having all the good luck – we’re having all the bad luck.” = You must be losing.

• “Sorry the shadows worried me” = Never mind, the rate you’re playing it’ll be full moon any moment now • “Sorry I fell off the mat” = Pissed again!

• “Sorry I didn’t know what you wanted” = Just look into my eyes, darlin’, then you’ll know.

• “I bent my elbow”= You’re in the wrong place, mate: Alcoholics Anonymous is two doors down.

And the most recent one used by one of our First Division bowlers: • “ I had a bad day – my opponents used Taylor VS bowls” = Well why don’t you?

– Neville Odell

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Tribute to Merv Hennessy 1930-2010

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erv was the oldest of 5 children. He attended Kalgoorlie Central School, followed by Kalgoorlie Technical School and commenced his first job with, the Chamber of Mines, as a junior clerk, before moving to Gold Mines of Kalgoorlie and onto Western Mining Corporation (WMC) in approximately 1948. In 1950 Merv transferred to Bullfinch, Copperhead Mine, where he worked as accounts and payroll clerk.

Following an extended courtship Merv proposed to the love of his life Joy. They were married in 1952. Merv’s career would see them live in many exotic locations including, Bullfinch - home of the bush flies, then Coolgardie, back to Kalgoorlie & Kambalda. During this time Merv became the proud father of 4 children, James, Valerie Joy, Judith and Alison.

In 1969 Merv accepted a transfer to WMC in Perth as group paymaster. After 38 years of continuous loyal service he eventually called it a day and after a short break he became paymaster with Swan Portland Cement and 8 years later he retired for good.

Merv was a forward thinker, with social conscience, he was not afraid to move with the times. In Kalgoorlie, he led the way for women to be considered for employment and finally membership into the exclusive gentleman’s club “The Hannan’s Club”.

He was an accomplished swimmer. He learned to swim in the Lord Forrest Olympic Pool. The pool became his back yard. Merv won the “Swim through Perth” at age 17. This three mile swim was the equivalent of an ultra-marathon in those days. Merv would continue to swim until he was 73 and would efficiently carve away at 32 laps (the old mile) on a regular basis.

Merv was always a very sociable person which enabled him to develop the very social sport of darts. At his peak he was unbeatable. He was also an excellent lawn bowler. He started at Belmont Park Bowling Club in 1976, then onto Victoria Park for 5 years. In 1997 he joined the Sorrento where he was Club Captain, Secretary, President, a top division pennant bowler, “Bowler of the Year”, “Top Skipper”, and won the championship singles, veteran’s singles, mixed pairs and fours.

Merv liked comedy, Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra and Al Jolson. He loved to read 19

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and his general knowledge was phenomenal. He loved mushrooming, picnics and the bush and enjoyed good food/wine and good company and had an infectious sense of humour.

Merv had a strong sense of family. He dearly loved and adored Joy and his four children. He proudly stood by his son and walked his three daughters down the aisle when they all married; he welcomed his children’s new partners and eventually became the proud grandfather of ten grandchildren. Merv had an enormous extended family; and was seen as the patriarch and “Godfather”.

Merv was a very practical man and a realist, however he was also generous. He didn’t tolerate fools but would help or coach anybody who was prepared to listen. Merv was always ready to lend a hand to anyone who asked for his help, whether it be bowling technique, swimming strokes or life problems. He was a man of courage, vision and strength yet also gentle, compassionate and wise. He was always dignified.

Merv succumbed to illness in 2003 and he later became an amputee. He approached this situation with practicality and humour. This forced his withdrawal from the game he loved, bowls, but the amputation didn’t stop Merv; he was determined by nature and was not one to give up trying. He was known for helping the ladies out every Tuesday by jumping behind the bar and he had the car adjusted so that he could keep on driving. Despite his strength and courage, he was dealt another blow with the diagnosis of throat & neck cancer in 2007. He undertook chemotherapy and radiotherapy and fought with everything that he had.

In 2008, he was almost beaten with the tragic news of his only son being killed by a drunk driver. Merv’s relationship with his son was rock solid and he was shattered.

But again, he composed himself, drew on his strength and led his family through the devastation.

Merv endured a long, hard and cruel battle for many years. Merv would tell you he had lived a life to the full and always did it his way! To his family and friends he was always brave, without complaint, composed, dignified and he kept his sense of humour intact. He passed away peacefully at home with his family present on the 16th December 2010. Farewell Merv. R.I.P – Thanks to Stan Mccullagh and Jude Vincent for this tribute

Volunteers – Who needs them?

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ustralia is currently in the grip of a series of natural disasters and once again ordinary citizens are stepping up to the mark and volunteering to help people in their time of need. The efforts of these volunteers are heart warming as are the expressions of gratitude from both the recipients and the community at large.

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It would appear that it is at times of great tragedy that the contribution of volunteers is truly recognised and appreciated. It is a sad reflection on our society that the efforts of volunteers are not as readily recognised and appreciated in less dramatic times.

I wonder how many club members stop and think of what our club would be like if nobody was prepared to volunteer to carry out the essential tasks currently carried out by the Club Executive and other Committees?

I suspect that historically as clubs were established they were run entirely by volunteers. Whilst there are still clubs run entirely by volunteers they are now the exception rather than the rule.

Why I am writing this (other than being prodded by Neville Odell) is because I can see a trend where clubs are finding it increasingly difficult to attract volunteers from their membership and are being forced into the situation of having to employ more and more paid staff. If this trend continues there can be only one outcome namely increasing membership fees.

I don’t think anyone wants to see such an outcome. However, not only do we need more people to volunteer to help run our club but we should be prepared to recognise the efforts of the current crop of volunteers. When was the last time a committee member was thanked by a club member for giving up their time to carry out what can be a truly difficult task? Sadly it is more often the case that we hear that another volunteer has thrown in the towel due to being the recipient of thoughtless negative comments. So how about it folks lets get behind our Volunteers because they are truly the lifeblood of our club.

– Frank Lilley

Sorrento Masters Singles

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his event that was recently held at the club was a great success as compared to previous years. The number of entries was up by more than twenty to a record number of 93 players.

This was boosted by the appearance and entry of Steve Glasson, a former World No 1 bowler, who was able to be in attendance courtesy of BCIB (Bowling Clubs Insurance Brokers) who sponsored his trip to the west. Whilst here BCIB presented their proposal for next year’s insurance for the club, as well as attending to other clubs within WA. The event was held over two Sunday’s with the finals on the 6th and 7th December 2010. The eventual winner was Thomas Mitchell from Victoria Park-Carlisle Club, who beat Daniel Trewhella in the final. Daniel had won this event on three previous occasions.

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On both Sunday’s when the qualifying event were held, there were good attendance by spectators from other bowling clubs, and this was especially evident on the second Sunday when Steve Glasson was playing. Steve won his first game, but was beaten in the second round by Scott Edmonds, who played a very good game to beat him. Our takings for the day through the tills was more than double the same Sunday in 2009, hence the appearance of Steve certainly boosted the interest in this event.

I should also thank Osborne Park for the assistance they gave us by promoting on their website, as did BowlsWA. We were also able to obtain coverage in the West Australian as a result of assistance from BowlsWA CEO Ken Pride.

To all the members that assisted on these days as markers and umpires, as well as those that assisted with other matters, I thank you, as this event would not be as successful without input from a large number of members, all of whom donated their time on a voluntary basis.

– Ian Wittber

Synthetic Greens

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t the AGM in June 2010, I advised that we would form a small committee to look at the possibilities and practicalities of the use of synthetic greens surface at the club.

Whilst the club had five very good greens in play, and there was very little restriction to play the game of bowls even over the winter periods, there did not seem a need to go down the path of installing such a surface or surfaces. The only benefit that such a surface would provide therefore was a slightly “faster” green during the winter.

However, now that we have gone through a period when the greens have not been quite as good, there would seem to be a case for such a surface to be in place, to cater for bowls in all weather conditions, and with some assurance that there would always be a green or greens’ “available”.

Two members came to me offering their services for such a committee, and they were Russell Lockwood and Barry Bradshaw. One other offered and then withdrew their services. A very underwhelming response to say the least.

Due to my health not being as I would have preferred over the last few months, I did not fulfil my obligations in this respect, and have been a bit slow in getting things moving. However I have recently been able to obtain a report completed by another club, which has been very well prepared, and with a lot of research done, and shows that for a club such as ours to install two synthetic greens, the cost would be in the vicinity of $700,000. These costs however are escalating all the time, and if we finally decide to go down this path, would envisage that costs would be in excess of $800,000.

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In general, and if they are agreeable, and funds are available, the State Government Department of Sport and Recreation, along with the City of Joondalup would consider assisting to the tune of about a third of the cost each. This would leave the club to raise something in excess of $250,000 as their contribution. This process however, is a fairly lengthy one, and from start to finish may take up to three years, without any guarantee of success. Our fall back position may be that we are able to install one green rather than two however costs are not necessarily halved, as some costs associated with such a project are one off, and would cover any size project.

If it is proposed that we proceed we would need to raise funds accordingly, and it is fairly obvious that this will not come from general club activities, and a perusal of any of our recent financial reports will confirm that we do not have access to such funds. All of our costs are rising in virtually every area of our operations, and unless we make some drastic cuts to costs, and lift revenue, the members would need to contribute substantially.

This is still in the discussion stage, and any report forthcoming will be presented to a General Meeting of the club for some decision, or at least indication of members support for such a project. – Ian Wittber

Junior Bowls Development

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ony Bourne, Sharon Eggers and Chris Tibbits are working together to promote Junior Bowls at our club. Chris and I attended a meeting at Bowls WA with Raj Suares who at that time was Junior Development Officer. He gave us some good advice and showed us what resources are available. As a result of that meeting last November we have taken the following steps.

1. Made contact with the Peel Junior Bowling League who, after taking sessions with Primary School children; have conducted supervised bowls carnivals with 4 local school teams.

2. Made contact with 8 local Primary Schools who have shown some interest in allowing us to take bowling sessions at their schools. We will be contacting them again as soon as the school year begins.

3. Obtained resources from LBA Victoria and Bowls SA who seem to be further down the line than we are in Perth.

4. Acting on advice, we have contacted 13 bowls clubs in the Coastal area expressing Sorrento Bowling Club’s interest in promoting Junior bowls and invited them to a meeting at our club on Wednesday February 16th at 7.00pm. At the time of writing this letter, 3 clubs have contacted me and indicated that they will attend.

5. Produced draft flyers aimed at Primary schools that we will be able to circulate/ hand out.

6. Had contact from Active After School Communities which is sponsored by the 25

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Australian Sports Commission asking us to conduct after school bowling sessions with a group of local children. Chris Tibbits and myself will be attending a coach training program which will enable us to be involved in their programs in the future.

Although it would appear that we have been quite busy we have still not put in place an organised program that will truly get Junior bowls moving at Sorrento bowling club. Getting this organised is a huge step and we are hoping that the February 16th meeting will see us and other interested clubs set up some sort of Junior Bowls Association.

We are not totally convinced that targeting Primary Schools, and that is mainly 10 – 12 year olds, is the best direction to take, but one recommended by Bowls WA. Other avenues include High Schools and sporting clubs, but, making contact with these groups will require us having a structured plan in place and resources that would give any activities a chance of success.

This note is primarily to inform members of what the club is pursuing in regard to Junior Bowls but is also a request to all members who may have ideas to come forward and share them with us. With a plan in place we are sure that members might encourage any Juniors they know to come along and participate.

– Tony Bourne

Umpire’s Corner

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rom recent discussions it appears some bowlers are not aware of what constitutes a ‘toucher’, including the belief that a bowl that deflects or wicks off another bowl before touching the jack is not a toucher. This is not correct.

The Laws state that a bowl which touches the jack during its delivery until it comes to rest is called a toucher, no matter how many times it comes into contact with other bowls before it comes to rest. (Laws 24.1 and 1.3.15) Note also that the bowl does not have to move the jack, only to touch it to become a toucher.

The law about Skips having the duty of marking the score card in all formats change has caused much discussion as to why it was introduced and how it will be enforced.

During the review process of the Laws of the Sport of Bowls 80% of Australian States felt that the second in triples had a disproportionate number of duties. As a result it was agreed to propose a law change to World Bowls reflecting that the skip is in a better position to mark the scorecard than the second in triples.

Delegates at the World Bowls council meeting at the Delhi Commonwealth Games took this suggestion one step further and extended this law to all formats of the game (pairs, triples and fours).

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Note: The Skip cannot delegate this duty and the law cannot be changed or amended except by World Bowls.

As to any penalty for defaulting on this law, Bowls WA Chairman of Umpires has advised that if there is no valid reason why the skip cannot score (e.g. injured hand, deafness etc) umpires should issue a warning and advise that should they continue to default, The umpire has no other option than to report the matter to the Controlling Body (club Match Committee or Bowls WA) for further action. In pennants this may result in loss of points.”

Try your knowledge of the laws on the following questions: Answers are on page 42.

Q.1 – A player bowls out of turn. What should happen?

Q.2 – A jack is damaged during play. What should happen?

Q.3 – In a knockout competition the scores are tied after the allotted number of ends.

The teams toss a coin to decide who will play first in an extra end. Can the winner of the toss give the mat away to the opposing side?

Q.4 – A toucher comes to rest a close second to an opponents bowl and on a significant lean. The third leans down and holds the bowl while he marks it with chalk. Several seconds after he marks it, the bowl falls over and becomes shot bowl.

The opposing third objects. What is the position?

Q.5 – While measuring for shot bowls, a player accidentally moves the jack. What is the position?

– Jim Ironside

Joe Stow Heart Foundation Day

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his event which has been going since 2007/8 was once again a great success.

We raised a total of $414. Winners on the day were Tricia Smith, Neville Odell, Herbie Eisenmann.

– Chris Tibbits

Father and Son Evening

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hat a night it was!! With 108 players on the greens at 6.00pm, dads, granddads, grandsons, and other varieties of family partnerships, there were plenty of prides and egos at stake. We even had a Godfather for one of the Day boys so I’m told. Probably the first time the club chaplain has been called “The Godfather”.

The evening went well with most players enjoying the slick run of the greens. There was plenty of advice being given, both by the experienced players and the visiting family members. One father was heard to instruct his son to play a particular side, the son said no, the dad said “I am the skipper do as the skipper says!” To which the 28

son replied “Who made you the skipper??” And promptly bowled as he was told, a well trained son?? Or scared of retribution when at home??

At the conclusion of the games there was a lovely sausage sizzle with salad awaiting the hungry hoards. Thanks must go to Sharon and Joan and their teams for the wonderful way they prepared and served the meal. Of course there was also time now to socialize and have the occasional drink to celebrate a win or commiserate and review the loss.

The organisers wish to thank all those who took part in the evening either as a player or worker and we hope you can join us again next January.

The winning team on the night was the Adams Family (no relation to the TV family) with the runners up from the Carrigy family and the Webb family.

The unluckiest team on the night who just missed on so many shots were Neil McLennan and his 11 year old grandson J Haap, well done for trying. (Bowls is not only for the aged.)

– Chris Tibbits

Socrates Lauded for his Wisdom

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eep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.” .‘Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.

“That’s right,” Socrates continued, “Before you talk to me about Diogenes Let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say.. The first filter is Truth.

Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it.” “All right,” said Socrates, “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?”

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“No, on the contrary.”. “So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?” “No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?” The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging his wife.

– Mike Berecry

Poetry Corner

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arry Bradshaw will go down in history as the only Lead to bowl his bowl before putting the jack down. His fame has brought out the poets. The first poem is to be sung to “MacNamaras Band: Oh! HIS Name is Barry Bradshaw, he’s a bowler of great fame, He is the finest Leader bloke, who ever played the game, Now he’s devised a game plan, – and he really has the knack, It’s simply put YOUR BOWL down , – before you BOWL the JACK, Oh! The Skippers shout, and Selectors cry, and the teams all shout Hooray!

For Barry is our HERO , and we TREASURE HIM TODAY””.

– Skew Wiff Watt

My name is Barry Bradshaw and bowling is my game, And when I delivered the bowl, it was the start of the game.

I laughed until I cried, – the jack was at my side!

The crowd they just erupted, When cleverly I did bowl the jack up by its side.

Only a small dilemma, but one we will remember!

Your Treasurer!

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– John Sturk

Ladies Gala Day 2011

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he Gala Day was a great success once again and, of course, this would not have been possible without the great support from businesses that support the club and, of course, the tireless efforts of so many club members. Hopefully we have not forgotten to acknowledge anyone for their great assistance on this important fundraising day for the club.

Companies that donated to the Multi-Raffle were Bunnings Whitfords, La Bela Skincare, Kingsley, Zeno’s Café, Hillarys, Woodvale Amcal Pharmacy, Margaret River on the Boardwalk, Hillarys and Waldeck Nurseries, Kingsley The wine raffle was another success. Faye Jennings’s daughter Debbie Schartz is a Sales Representative for VOK Beverages. Debbie kindly arranged with both the State Manager, Craig Mahoney and the Field Sales Manager of VOK – Chris De Jesus, to donate a huge amount of drinks to our raffle. This ensured the raffle was another success story and was greatly appreciated by the club. Carlton United donated 12 bottles of Champagne which certainly added even more attraction to the raffle. The above donations added to all the drink donations from Club members assured that the club raised plenty of money from this venture.

Many members donated cakes and biscuits for our cake stand, again the day would not be anywhere as good if not for all this hard work. The WA Lotteries Commission donated some ‘Scratchies’ Members donated items for the White Elephant Stall.

The Craft Stall was another really popular area that people just love to look through and purchase items and everything sells really well. The hard working people that donated to this stall helped make the occasion such an outstanding day.

Joan again managed to somehow accommodate all the people, plus two extra teams that were not registered to attend. These extra teams just turned up but everyone kept well fed and happy. The Club really appreciates all the work by Joan, who also had to organise all the food purchases. Appreciation also goes to all the other lady members that assisted her on the day with washing up, waitressing and cooking, plus the many other small jobs that have to be done on such a day.

Thanks also must go to Marie and her Match Committee for organising all the games for the day, after all that is what people come for. It takes many months of hard work and a lot of time by the Lady members of the Club to get this day up and running to make it the success it always is, so thank you to everyone involved, your Club appreciates it. After payment of prize money and expenses, $4,056.80 was paid into Club funds. Once again thanks to everyone who worked and helped on the day.

– Kath Harris

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A Selection of Photos from the Ladies Gala Day Right: Judy Campbell and Marie Smart looking smart in their club shirts Annie and May’s cocktails were a great success

Eleanor Adams, Vonnie King, Jenny Lockwood, Pat Frawley and Moira Dean on the garden stall

Jean Middleditch and Bea Meakin enjoying the day

Anne Lilly and Fran Bracknell on the Raffles Jane Holland, Helen Ironside, Faye Jennings and Kath Harris on the wine hampers 32

A Day Trip to Mundaring (as recommended by Ray Linsdale) 1. Call into the Club on Friday evening for a beer or two 2. When leaving double check the Selection Board to establish where you have been selected for the following day and make sure you have been selected to play in 4th Div. White against Mundaring.

3. Decide to go direct and sensibly put your name on the ‘Going Direct’ sheet.

4. The next day set off for Mundaring Bowling Club. En route you encounter a massive traffic jam at the Alexander Drive Flyover construction. You get stuck there so long that you begin to get a little worried that you might not make it to Mundaring in time.

5. Eventually get through the grid lock and put your foot on the gas up the Reid Highway, Roe Highway, bypass Midland and straight up the Great Eastern Highway passing Greenmount, Glen Forrest and Mahogany Creek. You constantly check the clock on the dash – will you make it in time?

6. Arrive at Mundaring but you have no idea where the Bowling Club is. You stop and ask a local for directions. All you get is “Sorry Mate, no idea”. You ask another local resident and get “Heard of it, Mate, it’s around here somewhere, but don’t know where it is”. Finally you find a local that knows “Yea Mate, up there turn right and take second left and you can’t miss it”.

7. Pull into the Mundaring Bowling Club car park, check your watch and with a sense of pride see that you are only ten minutes late. Think to yourself “Gee, well done”.

8. Walk into the Club and are rather surprised that there is only one chap there, sitting at the bar. You think to yourself that your team mates have obviously been held up at the Alexander Drive road works.

9. The chap behind the bar says to you “G’day, mate, which club are you from? You tell him that you are from Sorrento and he says “what a coincidence, our boys are playing there today; they left about an hour ago”.

Note from your Editor: Ray obviously hadn’t been wearing his best spectacles the night before when he checked the Selection Bard. Sorrento was playing Mundaring but at home not away!!! Mundaring Bowling Club is like a little country pub set amongst National Parks so Ray decided to join his new found friend in the bar and while away the arvo with a few beers.

“ Morning Sex”

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he was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!” My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!”

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Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck. Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?” She explained, “The egg timer’s broken.”

– Mike Berecry

RSL State Bowls

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he State RSL side have just returned from Adelaide in South Australia. Our own President Ian Marshall was a member of the side, and had the pleasure of being part of the team that won the Dr. Sydney Krantz Trophy. Other players in the side were Ray Bourne and Les Webb from Osborne Park, Charlie Della Bosca from Manning, and Ron Prosser from Wanneroo.

In The Jack Hamilton VC Trophy, the State side had mixed fortunes, but did have the pleasure of beating Queensland for the first time in 12 Years.

Ian then teamed up with Ray Bright and Ron Prosser from Wanneroo, and Brian Young from North Beach for the National Fours. They were very unlucky not to win their section as they finished with 4 wins and 46 shots up out of 5 games. If they had been in any of the other 7 sections playing they would have romped in. Maybe next year.

The trip was a great success, and much of the credit must go to Ian Marshall for his untiring efforts and dedication to RSL bowls, along with his executive who also did a great job. If you are an ex-serviceman, come and play RSL bowls, it will be one of the best moves you will ever make.

– Ron Prosser

Sorrento Bowling Club Art Exhibition 2011

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ur Annual Club Art Exhibition will soon be here again. This year our artists will be exhibiting their work in the club rooms on Friday 18th March, 2011. The Exhibition will again be open from the close of play in the afternoon game on Silver Chain Day, and will close late in the evening.

We anticipate that we will again combine the Exhibition with a wine tasting. The club takes a 10% commission on all Art sales, so this is a win-win situation.

Exhibitors are restricted to members of our club, so please contact Beth McCormack on 9245 4718 if you would like to enter your art work. We would be very pleased to welcome anyone who has not previously entered their work, along with our usual artists.

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Born and Bred Too

by Kitty Mist

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he second of a poorly researched series promoting ancestral rumours regarding lucky members randomly selected.

BRYAN TOWNSEND He spends about as much time flying between England and Perth to chase bowls as he does chasing bowls. His famous namesake, Commander Sir Bryan Townsend (1648-1726), also travelled a lot as Captain of HMS Swiftsure before in 1696 purchasing County Derry becoming the MP for Klonacilty. Both Townsends have been known to have been all at sea for ages. While our Bryan has not had 13 children, his uncle, Group Captain Peter, nearly eloped with the Queen’s sister, for her to nearly become Bryan’s aunty- inlaw. He has owned more bowls than Francis Drake had cannon balls, but this failed to improve his game.

JOHN ABERCROMBIE

His family hails from Abarcrumbach, a town in Fife, and was first mentioned in 1057 in the Ulster Chronicle as one of the clans King Malcolm Cleanmore led north to quell the claims of Macbeth to the throne of Scotland. His consanguineous kin have been settling claims ever since but mostly within the insurance industry or family arguments.

The Abercrombies are renowned for their ability to both settle and to provoke bar-room disputes. His family is credited with having popularized drinking as an indoor sport, and John is known to talk extravagantly of his ability as a bowler and past president. He has never been wrong, and thinks denial is a river in Egypt.

STEVE DRAPER Was denied a return to the St Kilda side when Ross Lyon pulled him (as reported in “The Australian”, 9th September, 2010.)

Steve drew 6,730,000 hits on google, which makes him even more popular than Alan Anderson. How good is that? His coat of arms is in West Coast colours – a horizontal yellow strip across a blue base - with three white swans wearing gold necklaces rampant. My research has failed to work out what it represents, so ask Steve. He plays piano in ‘The Steve Baker Trio’, but it appears after seven years they are yet to get a gig.

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Farmer Jacks 130 Coolibah Drive Greenwood Open 7 days a week 7am to 9pm

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Stick to your day job, Steve! There is no mention of him in “The List of Infamous Lancashire Progeny.” There is also a slight chance I keyed in ‘Steve Baker’ when first I Googled him, but it is too late now. It could also explain why Steve cannot explain the stupid coat of arms.

BRIAN LUCAS Is descended from a great line of good looking Irish bogseifters, his family lived next door to the Dunn’s (refer previous issue – back copy behind the bar). It is believed he got most of his good looks from his father who was a black-market plastic surgeon. He is the second most popular man researched thus far with 508,000 Google hits, only 133,000 behind Keith Cooper, so stiff cheddar Brian. About 80 years ago his great-grandfather, Dr. T P Lucas, invented and patented “Lucas Pawpaw Ointment.”

Peter’s family has been unsuccessfully flogging this useless product door-to-door in Australia ever since. He once made the decimal point when playing darts, and revolutionised the role of Treasurer at the SBC by actually proving that balance-sheets can be balanced.

PHIL KIMBERLEY

‘My Ancestry’ states the surname is from the Dutch, ‘Kemper’, meaning a stout warrior. But Phil is too thin, and we all know a Kemper is a grey nomad recently arrived from South Africa. But they are wrong! ‘Kim’ being the most common surname in Korea, and Phil once having had jet black hair, are both dead set proof of his eastern heritage.

He was recently asked if he was available to succeed Kim Il Sung as Supreme Ruler of North Korea, and from the way he acted when secretary of this great club, he showed he was born to rule, to be revered, and to butcher. Some of us believe those poor North Koreans would be better off keeping Kim Il as their Dear Leader.

FRANK LILLEY He does not feature in Wisden like his younger brother, but rumoured to have once been spotted in the company of a toad, a mole, and a water rat, beside a large willow tree. He is in favour of all things green Frank is not to be confused with the Frank Lilley who has set records as the world’s slowest runner. Frank is often seen on most of WA’s greens, and Lilleys are often found at funerals, living in valleys, or called Tiger.

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IAN LINFORD Ian is no relation of Linford Christie. He is directly descended from a tenant of the lands of Lynford in Norfolk, held by Stanard, a Norman noble. But that is where all resemblance to nobility ends. Stanard was carpeted after participating in a plot to overthrow William which led to Ian’s forbears taking a fast horse and cart to Ireland where they settled in the same bog as the Dunns and the Lucases.

In the 1850’s his recent forebears fled to the Victorian goldfields where they bred like Hogans. Ian is mainly found at table 13 taking money from gullible and foolish football tragics who insist on investing in an approved Club ponzi scheme.

JEM SHORLAND Direct descendant of Guilffe de Shorlan, William the Conqueror’s right hand knight, who was credited with firing the arrow that killed King Harold to give the French their only win in a long line of historic defeats and strategic withdrawals. It wasn’t on a beach at Hastings, but in a forest where he was aiming at a deer and missed – a family tradition continued by Jem on the green to this day. He is also descended from Captain John Shorland, master of the “Fastbuck”, a 48 gun ship-of-the-line. In 1794, it was he who first uttered those immortal words, “Send down another cabin-boy!” So began another glorious chapter in British naval history.

PHILLIP OLDERSHAW Claims to have worked his way up from nothing to extreme poverty. His grandfather famously invented the vacuum jacketed Oldershaw perforated plate fractionating column, and I am sure Phil will be only too happy to tell you where you should place yours for maximum effect. Throughout the 1700’s the Oldershaw’s had a long and proud family history as walking stick dressers in Shoreditch before relocating to London. A prominent parliamentary black sheep of the Oldershaw family was dismembered for remarking, “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”

IAN WITTBER Ian’s surname has been anglicised from the German Witzenburger, but his family definitely had English and Welsh roots by the 1870’s. His great grand-father, Carl (Bill), became famous in 1910 for becoming the first South Australian to fly after 38

failing to carry out taxiing trials correctly in a Bleriot monoplane. In 1916, during the war, he became the first Australian to be banned from flying. Perhaps he should have just concentrated on his taxiing. Ian’s skills as Club Secretary were honed refusing home loan applications as a rural banker.

He was recently taken to hospital by his wife and the doctor said, “I don’t like the look of your husband at all.” His wife replied, “Me neither, but he does some of the housework, and he’s been a good father when not at the bloody Bowling Club!!”

– Kitty Mist (a pseudonym of a sensitive, retiring and caring person)

Some Notes from your Editor

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irst of all I would like to welcome back Ted and Sonia McGready. Second I would once again like to thank all the people who assist with this newsletter.

There have been some rumours about the cost of the newsletter. At a meeting held with Ian Wittber and Peter Snow it was agreed that the cost of printing the newsletter was fully covered by the sponsor’s adverts that appear in each edition. I would, however, like to ask members to read the newsletter on the Internet or to bring back the copy they take when they are finished with it. This will reduce the printing costs.

Once we have more information about how many coloured pages we get from a set of toner cartridges the situation will be reviewed.

Finally please note that IGA Marri Road Duncraig is now the only IGA store sponsoring our Club. Please support this shop.

– Neville Odell

Make over of Ladies Locker Room

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n the period leading up to Xmas and also into the New Year, many people have been involved with the above project and their valued assistance and input is greatly appreciated.

Firstly the room was cleaned out and then painted thanks to Ray Dunn, Warren Elliott, Barry Stuart, John Sturk and Kevin Cook. Clair Hanlon and Kath Harris selected the new fabric to recover the cushions and bed, which now combined with the new paint work, really brightens up the whole room

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Kath’s husband Kevin repaired the light fitting and also installed the new notice board and new wall feature then reinstalled the wall mirror. Kath Harris rubbed-down then spray painted all the cane setting with white paint which blends in well with the new blue carpet. It is planned to have the Ladies toilet area painted in the very near future and this will certainly make the whole area look very modern and welcoming to any visitors to our club. Well done to all those involved in this “make over”.

Plea to all Members of Sorrento

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t has been some years since the Club has held a major raffle to raise funds. The Club needs money to improve the bbq area and refurbish the Club bar facilities to keep the Club premises modern and inviting.

It is up to each member to sell as many raffle tickets as possible. Tickets are $5 each.

There will be a prize for the person selling the most tickets and a prize for the person selling the winning ticket. Please, could everyone contribute to this fund-raising effort so that your Club can keep improving.

The first prize is a trip to delicious Mauritius donated by Rod Garnaut of Jetset Northlands Travel (flying Air Mauritius) – to the value of $4500.

Second prize is an air conditioner valued at $1200 donated by Weather Wizard.

Once again, please could each and every one of the Club members do his or her bit to make this a success. So grab a couple of raffle books to sell. The Club needs you all to participate. Any questions, please contact Peter Snow.

– Peter Snow

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Kiwi bowler’s indecent exposure ban lifted

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New Zealand man who rocked the normally staid sport of lawn bowls when he exposed himself at a tournament has successfully appealed against a 10-year ban.

Bowls New Zealand suspended David File, a former member of the national bowls team, after the 43-year-old admitted he “flopped out my old fella” during a tournament at Gisbourne in April.

The appeals committee overturned the ban, finding the punishment was “totally out of proportion to the seriousness of his misconduct” in a judgement handed down on Thursday. The committee instead imposed a fine of NZ$500 It found File had exposed himself to male team-mates in a locker room, not on the bowling green in front of spectators and rival players, as some complainants had alleged.

File told the committee “he was playing like a dickhead” at the tournament and exposed himself to team-mates to illustrate his point, describing his actions as “just a silly joke”. The committee said File had been affected by alcohol, adding it “notes with concern the growing tendency for talented bowlers to seek to excuse improper, unethical or unacceptable behaviour or language because of their talent”.

– AFP

Ladies Delegate Report • The criteria for the Club of the Year Award has been reviewed and amended as required. A novice player and death of a player policy is to be developed.

• You will also be interested to know that a committee has been formed to cons–ider the establisnment of a Ladies Over 60 side series event similar to the current Over 60’s Mens side series.

• There has been a very good response from clubs and individuals regarding the survey on pennants.

• The Chairman of Umpires will be reviewing/rewriting consent letters regarding the use of the bowling “arm”.

• As from next season the pre-season forums will be combined and conducted at one venue.

• Clubs hosting Country Week events will be asked to provide morning and afternoon tea, cold meat and salad lunch and a dessert at a cost of $12. This will be reviewed for next year.

•The Inter Region Round Robin Carnival will be held on Saturday 16th April (PM) and Sunday 17th April (AM and PM). Information and nomination forms for this event are on the ladies notice board. Please feel free to contact me should you have any queries regarding this important Bowls WA event.

– Anne Lilley 41

Answers to Umpire’s Corner Quiz Q.1 – If the bowl has not disturbed the head, the opposing skip has the option to choose whether to: • return the bowl and get back to the proper order of play; or • leave the bowl as it is and have their team play two bowls one after the other to get back to the proper order of play.

If the bowl has disturbed the head, the opposing skip should choose whether to: • leave the disturbed head as it is and have their team play two bowls one after the other to get back to the proper order of play; • replace the head to its former position, return the bowl and get back to the proper order of play, or • declare the end dead.

Note, if a bowl has been played by each team before the players discover that one of them has failed to play a bowl in the proper order, that player will lose the right to play that bowl. (Law 47.4.2) Q.2 – The umpire should be called and if he/she decides a replacement jack is needed the end will be declared dead and shall be replayed. (Law 48) Q.3 – Yes, (Law 45) Q.4 – The Laws state if a toucher comes to rest in a position in which marking it would be likely to move the bowl or alter the head, the bowl should not be marked but nominated as a toucher instead.’ (Law 25.2). Even though it took several seconds for the bowl to fall it is likely that the action of touching the bowl contributed to it eventually falling. The umpire should allow the opponent to put the bowl back to its former position. (Law 28.1.4.1) Q.5 – The opposing player should put the jack back to its former position and measuring shall continue. (Law 33.4.1)

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