Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 35 February 2010

Sorrento Bowling Club Newsletter Number 35 February 2010

President: Ian Marshall Secretary: Ian Wittber (08) 9447-0696 Email: sorrentobowlingclub@amnet.net.au

“Home of the Sorrento Swans�

Did you know!

If you hold a Senior Citizens Card you are eligible to receive a State Government Rebate of up to $200 for security doors and screens.

If you would like further information or a free measure and quote call : Barry Bradshaw 9314 1774

Contents Presidents Report Message from the Lady Captain Membership Some Notes from your Editor Hot Hints from Heardie Tribute to Geoff Glew Men’s Match Committee Report Ladies Match Report Report From Ladies Selection Committee Twilight Bowls Silver Chain Charity Day Sorrento Bowling Club Art Exhibition 2010 New Year’s Eve Feedback Umpire’s Corner Retarded Grandparents Volunteers ‘Losing to win’ Croquet Report Visit to the Club by Tony Krsticevic MLA New Life Member - Ian Wittber Our other latest Life Member - Geoff Bloomfield Some Club Members in Action Father and Son Evening Guess who A Bowlers Prayer 6 Gold get an Eight Badge Meeting for Dinner Glen Boston Bar Manager Take Time Darts Update Web Site Updated Advice from a Retired Husband Kelvin Kerkov Honoured Getting to know our members – Ray Dunn Gonna be a Bear Rules of Bowls How to save the airlines?

The etiquette of bowls Why people learning English have trouble with the language 2010 Easter Carnival

4 5 5 6 7 8 9 9 9 10 10 11 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 20 23 24 26 27 27 28 29 30 30 31 31 32 33 35 35 36 37 37 39

Presidents Report

A

t the recently held half-yearly meeting it gave me a great deal of satisfaction to award two members of the Club Life membership.

One was Geoff Bloomfield from the croquet section and the other was Ian Wittber.

Both have given outstanding service to their relevant sections of the Club. I thank the members who proposed and put together the relevant documentation for Ian and Geoff.

Cal, Bob, Herbie and the Prof have done a great job in retiling the men’s toilet. It was looking decidedly tired and needed a face-lift. A coat of paint and it will be completed.Also “Jaffa” and Spider have given the bar a much needed lift.

There is still a lot of work to be done however it will take time, money and a great deal of time. The volunteers need all the support they can get and not the criticism they are getting from members.

With all the other sections giving reports there is not much I can add, only to say that if you can help out in any way please let someone know.

Overall the Club is in a fairly stable position however we must all be diligent and watch how we manage our resources.

We have put in expressions of interest to the Past Presidents Assoc. and the State Seniors Section to host the upcoming National Carnivals. After the National Police Carnivals, we should be well placed to host these events. More information will be passed on when it becomes available.

It has come to my attention that members have had personal items taken from locker rooms and on one occasion from a table at a Club function. Members are advised that it is their responsibility to ensure that valuables and other personal items are not left in an unsecured position.

On another topic the custom of leaving bowls bags in positions where they are an obstruction to frequently used areas is to cease. The Club has a duty of care to all members and leaving items in positions where they are a hazard is hindering that policy. We are seeking members co-operation to make it a safe and enjoyable Club atmosphere “Good bowling” for the remainder of the season and stay healthy.

– Ian K Marshall

Message from the Lady Captain

T

he Match and Selection Committees are doing a sterling job. The Pennant results are varied, some divisions are in a strong position.

The Ladies’ Championship Fours have been completed and it was enjoyed by all the participants. Camaraderie was evident throughout, no more so than in the finals.

The Ladies’ Triples start on 17th February so please put your names on the list, as we are hoping for a very good entry. Our Invitation Day is on the 12th February and a grand total of 32 teams have entered. Well done!

There will be a Ladies Meeting on the 4th March, Hope to see you all there.

– Clair Hanlon

Membership

O

ur membership numbers this year have not reached the heights that they did last year, and we did not hold an open day this year.

Why, you might ask. Well the truth of the matter is that we could not cater for another 200 bowlers and croquet players, as the club could not cater adequately for their needs. We can however cater for more members than we have currently, and are receiving applications on a regular basis.

We are having great success with our offer to new bowlers, and these are constantly arriving on our desk. Applications that we receive from now will be treated as applying for membership in the financial year 2010/11, in order that they can get value for their money, as well as having sufficient time to allow them to develop into the culture of the club, and at the end of the day become a valuable club member.

Of course if anyone joins now that wants to play pennants in the current season, we will have no option but to process such application, as they need to be capitated with

If you need a haircut visit one of our main sponsors

Joe ‘n’ co

At Shop 20, Duncraig Shopping Centre Marri Road 9447 0933

Bowls WA. There are of course reduced fees for anyone joining as a full bowling member between 1st January and 30th April each year. Details of these fees are available from the office on request.

The executive have discussed fees for the coming year, and agreed that overall cost of membership is to rise by $5.00. Part of this is a lift in the capitation fee of $1.50 with the balance going towards the ever rising cost of running a club such as ours.

Power costs alone have escalated with the introduction of reverse cycle air conditioning, which of course is of benefit to every member.

We will still allow a discount of $10 for those members that pay the coming year’s fees prior to the end of May, as usual. This is to reward members for assisting the club with early payment.

There are also a couple of other challenges in regard to fees, one of which is the proposal that Bowls WA is to charge a club “registration fee” of $10 per head for “corporate bowlers”. We already pay them a fee for each side that plays in this event, but this is an additional impost. This is something that the executive has opposed, and have advised Bowls WA to that effect, however to date it seems that they (Bowls WA) have the power to instigate without any discussion with the clubs. If this succeeds, it could cost the club between $1,000/1,500 per annum. How we address this at the end of the day, we have yet to decide, but this is a cost that we could well do without.

– Ian Wittber

Some Notes from your Editor

T

he photograph on the cover of this month’s newsletter shows Lorraine and Carmel Hyde enjoying a balloon ride in the Avon Valley. They had to get up at 4.30am on a cold freezing morning. In an hour they travelled 7 km and reached a height of 1200 ft. A champagne breakfast concluded a lovely adventure ☺☺☺☺☺

Bowls WA are looking for an “Over 60’s State Selector. Full details of the roles and responsibilities available from Karin Zitzman. ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that two Sorrento teams travelled to Narembeen in January for their Australia Day Carnival?

One of the teams had a somewhat embarrassing time, losing to a team of girls on the Monday night and then dropping an eight in their next game. Not wanting to cause them any more embarrassment, we are not proposing to name the team in a public way. But – if you would like more first hand knowledge of their experience - we suggest you contact John Brown, Brian Collins or Neville Gibbs. ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear Kevin Cook and Jim Ironside won a game by 30 shots to zip? Ask the winners for details about who they managed to beat!!! ☺☺☺☺☺ Did you hear that Barrie Bywaters and Rick Huthchinson reached the last sixteen in the State Pairs. Well done! It’s great when our members do well in State events – Neville Odell

Hot Hints from Heardie Self-defeating thought “ I hate this windy and hot weather” THINK THIS! “ No one likes this weather but I can play it as well as anyone else” Self-defeating thought “Things are slipping away we are six shots behind” THINK THIS! “Stop worrying about the score, just concentrate on the next bowl” Self-defeating thought “Who cares how well I do anyway?”

THINK THIS! “I care, and I’ll be happier if I push myself”

Self-defeating thought “I don’t like this green” THINK THIS! “Everyone has to play here. I can play on this surface just as well as anyone else” Self-defeating thought “I don’t think I can play this shot” THINK THIS! “This is a tough shot but I can do it” Self-defeating thought “What a stupid shot, you idiot!”

THINK THIS! “Everyone makes mistakes. Put it behind you and focus on what you want to do” – Graeme Heard

Tribute to Geoff Glew

G

eoff Glew, who had been an active member of Sorrento Bowling Club for a number of years, passed away on Thursday 7th January 2010 at age 60 after a brief illness with an aggressive form of cancer.

Geoff was a willing and hard-working member of our club, who helped with many aspects of the club’s running including serving behind the bar, working bees and Friday night corporate bowls. He took part in most bowling events both social and competitive. In his life outside of the club, he was involved in a number of sporting activities including being a passionate fisherman, a keen golfer and an active participant in the local surf club.

Before retiring, Geoff was a bank manager. He and his wife, Lorna, travelled quite extensively over the last five years, including a 60th birthday cruise to Canada and Alaska late last year.

Geoff’s quiet, friendly presence will be sadly missed around Sorrento Bowling Club.

The large turn-out of friends and family at his funeral was a testament to Geoff’s popularity and the fondness and high esteem which he engendered in those with whom he had contact. A contingent of Sorrento bowlers in uniform formed a guard of honour for Geoff on his arrival at the chapel at Pinnaroo cemetery. Our sincerest condolences and deepest sympathies go to his wife, Lorna, his two sons, Ryan and Brad, and the rest of his family. You will be fondly remembered, Geoff.

- Sharon Eggers

Men’s Match Committee Report

C

ongratulations to Kevin Coffey on winning the Novice Singles and also to the runner up Wayne Gray. We look forward to the continued support of all novice players in the coming years events and thank them for their participation in this event.

The match committee is pleased with the way the players committed to the event and believe it was a good learning experience for them all.

In the Veterans Singles played in Section Play format there were some really great games. John Sanders and Niel Adams played to twenty all before John won. Graeme Heard and Niel also played to twenty all before Graeme won. When Graeme played John it was also twenty all and Graeme won. Well done, everybody!

– Chris Tibbits

Ladies Match Report

I

n the Ladies’ Championship Fours final Clair Hanlon, Kath Harris. Jean Middleditch and Sylvia McLaughlan won and Moira Dean, Myrtle Raven, Lorraine Hyde and Carmel Hyde were Runners Up. The Plate was won by Marie Smart, Joan Whitham, Jean Baker and Trish Smith.

The Ladies Singles was won by Moira Dean and the Runner-Up was Emily Dunn.

Pat Breakell won the Plate event and Lorraine Hyde was the Runner-Up. After the great success of the Father and Son Afternoon the Ladies’ are planning to have a Mother and Daughter Afternoon on Sunday, 21st Match. Please enter by writing your names on the list provided on the notice board.

– Marie Smart

Report From Ladies Selection Committee The Pennant season is going along nicely with 1White and 3 White being in top position. Green North 1 have dropped down to fourth position and Green North 2 are still tenth. Our 4 Blue are third and 4 Yellow are seventh. With a bit of luck and good bowling we should keep, and improve, the teams.

We are sorry that Pat Breakell has been unable to play due to ill health and wish her all the best.

Saturday Pennants have had a few days missed because of the hot weather. 1 Teal are in fifth place and 3 Blue are in second position.

–Vonnie King

Twilight Bowls

A

t the conclusion of 11 rounds, and with 8 rounds to go, 132 different bowlers have participated in Twilight Bowls this season. This is a great response. 22 different bowlers have recorded a win at some stage, with lots of minor prizes and “lucky card” winners too. The top ten at this stage are:1st 2 3 4 5 E6 E6 E8 E8 E8

Rowley Bayman Euie Tennant Jim Ironside Alice O’Brien Lindsay Baker Eddie Tassone Richard Fermoyle Marty Angelo Tom Nasuti Trevor Orton

36 3 34 33.5 33 32.5 32.5 32 32 32

The season runs until Easter, with points awarded for playing (2), winning (3) and winning by 10 or more shots (4). Cash prizes are awarded at season end. Why not come down? Each Tuesday from 4:30pm until 6:30-ish. See you there.

– Trevor Orton

Silver Chain Charity Day The Walley Smith Silver Chain Charity Day Which Has Been Sponsored Each Year

By The Sorrento Bowling Club Is To Be Held This Year On Friday 19 March It is a great fun day which has raised very significant contributions for this very worthwhile organization. Add the day to your diary and, more importantly, BE THERE 10

The day has been strongly supported by Sorrento Bowling Club members and by many local business houses who have donated items to be raffled.

Please contact Barbara Stowe (92464120) or Sylvia McLaughlan (93075223) if you can help this worthwhile cause by obtaining or donating items to be raffled.

– Sylvia McLaughlan

Sorrento Bowling Club Art Exhibition 2010

T

his year our artists will be exhibiting their work in the club rooms on Friday 19th March, 2010. The Exhibition will again be open from the close of play in the afternoon game on Silver Chain Day, and will close late in the evening.

We are again combining the Exhibition with a wine tasting. We expect the wines to be presented by the Harris River Estate, who are local growers from Collie.

The club takes a 10% commission on all Art sales, so this is a win-win situation.

Exhibitors are restricted to members of our club, so please contact Beth McCormack on 9245 4718 if you would like to enter your art work.

New Year’s Eve Feedback

T

he New Year’s Eve dance was again highly successful and enjoyed by all who attended. Unfortunately the numbers were down on last year with 112 people attending, 19 of which came with the band. Needless to say this was rather disappointing given the large membership we have.

The band ‘Apache’ did an excellent job and kept everyone on their toes dancing the

11

night away. 2010 came in with great fun and merriment.

My thanks to the Social Committee - May, Betty, Mary and George - and to Ron, Herbie, Bob and Sue for pitching in to help set up for the evening.

A huge thank you to Glen, Lyn and Antoinette for giving up their New Year’s Eve to serve behind the bar and also to Alison Boston for selling a raffle to help pay the band.

Glen and the Social Committee will meet to discuss the viability of holding 2010 New Year’s dance but I stress we need 130 - 150 people to attend in order to offset the cost of the band and overtime for the staff.

– Cal O’Donnell (Social Committee)

Umpire’s Corner

S

orrento currently has 18 accredited male umpires, 4 accredited lady umpires and 2 accredited lady measurers. A list of umpires is on the notice board. With a busy schedule of events each year there is a need to maintain umpire numbers preferably of at least 20 for the men’s and mixed events and 10 for the lady’s events. We would encourage any players, particularly the ladies, who may be interested in becoming an umpire or measurer to contact the Umpire’s Coordinator Jim Ironside on 9447 4095 and I will let you know what is involved and how to become an accredited umpire.

As mentioned in a previous Newsletter we will try to include some commonly encountered but misunderstood issues relating to the “Laws of the Sport of Bowls”.

Your feedback and any situations you have encountered that you feel would benefit fellow bowlers, can be included in upcoming newsletters.

An incident occurred recently where an opponent (from another club) believed that no part of the mat could be behind the ‘T’ (2-metre mark). Below is a summary of the main points of the law covering placing the mat.

Law 19.1 requires the player playing first to place the centre line of the mat lengthwise along the centre line of the rink with the front of the mat (the mat line) at least 2 metres from the rear ditch (as marked by the ‘T’) and at least 25 metres from the front ditch (as indicated by markers on the side banks).

If, after the jack has been delivered, but before the first bowl is delivered, a player (or marker) finds the mat line has not been positioned within the 2 and 25 metre distances referred to above, the opposing player shall place the mat as described above and deliver the jack but not bowl first. After the first player to play has delivered the first bowl, no one has the right to challenge the position of the mat with respect to its 12

distance from the rear or front ditches.

After the start of play the mat shall not be moved from it’s original position except if the mat is found to be out of line or not on the centre line, in which case it shall be straightened or moved to that line. (no penalty).

If the mat is displaced during play, it should be replaced in its original position on the centre line.

– Jim Ironside

A

Retarded Grandparents fter Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote :

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They lived in a lovely big 2 storeyed house,, but they got retarded, and they moved to a retirement village near Tauranga.

Now they live in a box sort of house and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wreck centre, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well.

Sometimes they sneak out to golf but their bits are getting stiff. Also they need operations to fix some of their parts. Especially poor old Grandma.

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.. He watches all day so nobody can escape.

13

Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out.

And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds.

Some of the people can’t get out past the man in the doll house.

The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked centre for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life and so did she to earn their retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too..

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house.

Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Volunteers

F

rom time to time non-profit organisations such as Sorrento Bowling Club make application to government departments to assist in funding particular projects.

Our ability to receive funding is greatly enhanced if we can demonstrate our members support the Club by providing a high level of volunteer work.

The Sorrento Bowling Club is very fortunate in that its members are very happy to support the Club in so many ways.

The general appearance of the Club and its surrounds are just one example of the voluntary work input by members.

We need to maintain a regular record so we can provide the evidence needed to prove the level of work our members undertake. To assist in this registers have been set up to cover the various types of voluntary work:

14

Register Administration

Bar Bowls related Selectors Coaches Umpires Community bowls Catering/social Maintenance

Examples of work Executive meetings Work by president Work by secretary Work by treasurer Work by assistant treasurer Newsletter compilation Member assistance Stock ordering Stock take Match committees

Sandwich making Catering for functions Organising club socials Busy bees Gardening Painting

Location of register Secretary’s office

Bar office Match committee office

Kitchen Secretary’s office

For the 3 months to December 2009 we have recorded 1,032 hours of voluntary labour. This is a magnificent total but does not reflect all the work members have undertaken. Most of the recorded hours have come from the headings of “Catering/ Social” and “Maintenance”. Members doing work in other areas have been reluctant to claim credit by recording the full level of their labours. So we can prove the full extent of members’ voluntary work please ensure your efforts are regularly recorded.

– Tony Friedlieb

‘Losing to Win’

T

he New Zealand national lawn bowls fours team is facing official allegations of deliberately losing to gain a strategic advantage, according to a Sydney newspaper.

The report says the Kiwis are accused of folding in a game against lowly-ranked Thailand in a recent Asia-Pacific championships in Malaysia to ensure rivals Canada would be eliminated. A commentator, who calls it the ‘Trevor Chappell dilemma’, says officials now have to decide whether it is illegal for a team to under perform to advance its overall strategic position.

15

Bowls Australia chief executive Neil Dalrymple is reported as saying it would be hard to find fault under the written laws of bowls, and is quoted: “There’s nothing in the rules to say you can’t under perform … but there’s a question whether it’s in the spirit of the game.” Dalrymple said the incident had shaken the lawn bowls world.

“It’s something you don’t expect to see,” Dalrymple said. “But the sport has progressed to a point where these guys are playing for reasonably high stakes. Like every sport, you’re going to have some people willing to push the limits.”

New Zealand international Gary Lawson, reported to be one of four players involved, says: “We didn’t throw the game. We lost. It happens occasionally. Apparently we’re not allowed to do that.”

Lawson, according to the newspaper, blamed the loss on the New Zealand coach, saying he ‘should be charged for impersonating a coach’.

In the championships, New Zealand advanced to the semi-finals where it was eliminated by Australia.

If, as Bowls Australia chief executive Dalrymple is reported as saying, there’s nothing in the rules of bowls to stop a team deliberately losing a game, it’s time there was.

Assuming he’s been quoted correctly, his wishy-washy response to allegations against the New Zealand national team is less than reassuring that this blot has no place in our sport.

Attributed to him are comments such as ‘hard to find fault’, ‘people willing to push the limits’, and the top clanger of all, ‘there’s a question of whether it’s in the spirit of the game’.

A question? There’s no question - if bowls has degenerated to the stage where we have to think whether to ask questions about the legality, or even propriety, of what clearly is a breach of sporting integrity, heaven help us. The difficulty, of course, is deciding when a team is not performing to its ability. But if there is obvious evidence of it, the culprits should have the book thrown at them.

The New Zealand team says it was a legitimate loss. The official inquiry will have difficulty proving otherwise

Croquet Report

A

Happy New Year to all our readers! It gives me great pleasure to report that the Croquet Club’s prominent leader Geoff Bloomfield has been honoured by the Bowling Club with a Life Membership of the Club. A synopsis of his outstanding 16

contribution to the Croquet Club since 1997 can be seen in this publication. Your protégés salute you Geoff and congratulate you on this recognition.

The Croquet Club celebrated Bevs, Joan’s and Betty’s milestone birthdays at Capone’s in Hillary’s recently. The President of the Bowling Club Ian Marshall attended and presented Geoff with his gold pin.

Alan and Liz represented Sorrento at a recent Golf doubles tournament held over a weekend at Nedlands Club. Unfortunately, due to extreme hot weather, the tournament was cancelled on the Sunday morning with temperatures reaching 39.4°C. Eight of our members will participate in the Forrest Park Summer Night’s Golf Croquet doubles tournament starting at the end of January. This will be held over a period of 11 consecutive weeks. This tournament has been run over the past few years and is a great occasion to join with other croquet players throughout the State.

Some of our members are travelling at present and we wish them safe journeys.

To those who are still recovering from illnesses, we wish you a speedy recovery and look forward to your return.

Our greens are in exceptional condition, and we look forward eagerly to a great year ahead with continued growth and confidence.

‘It is not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!’

– Liz Wood

Visit to the Club by Tony Krsticevic MLA

O

n Friday 20th January 2010 Tony Krsticevic MLA Member for Carine came to the Club to introduce himself to the members. Friday night is always a good time for a visit to the Sorrento Bowling club.

The whole club is a-buzz with Social Bowlers finishing their afternoon, Community bowlers having their dinner and getting ready to play, Keith and Margaret Cooper selling meat tray raffle tickets, Bar staff cheerful and keeping everyone entertained and members getting as many Chase the Joker tickets as they can (we all know how you get tickets).

Tony shook hands with as many club members as was possible in the circumstances and all members were glad to see him and said so. One member said it was unusual to see a politician in a time that was not an election year so it is certainly to Tony’s 17

Continued on page 27

New Life Member - Ian Wittber

A

t the half yearly General meeting, held in December 2009, Ian Wittber was honoured with a Life Membership for his contribution to the Sorrento Bowling Club. The proposal by John Murphy and Bevan Heathcote was unanimously approved.

Ian started his bowling career with the Northam Club. In 1986 he transferred to our club. As a Bank Manager transfers were part of the scene, however this move was destined to last and he has remained a member of our club ever since.

Shortly after his arrival he was asked to join the Executive Committee as Deputy President. After a couple of years, he went on to serve as Chairman of Selectors for three years, President for five years, and Secretary for a two year stint in the early “noughties”.

After a couple of years completing some travel, he has again become Secretary, a position which he currently holds. He also started the club’s Newsletter.

He also assisted the Treasurer of the day, Mel Kitson, transferring all the financial records to a computer based system. He also brought our club’s membership records into the current age, with a computer based system which is still in use. Similarly he established a number of club “forms” which are used for statistical purposes, both financially and for other records.

He has been on the Social Committee for a number of years and also part of a team who organised and cooked Friday night meals for members. Ian has always been a strong advocate for building the strength of this club and his involvement with the “2008 Open Day” and the subsequent increase in the strength of our club is something of which he can be proud.

Ian has seen our club grow to be one of the largest in the State, with a record membership last year of some 670 overall, which included bowlers, croquet players and social members. We have also grown in terms of greens, and now boast five bowling greens, which is also equal to any other club within the state, as well as one and a half croquet courts.

Of recent times, he has met with some health concerns, but has advised that all being well, he will remain part of the fabric of the club, for as long as he can, and has no plans to “retire” from being a volunteer for the benefit of the club. We are indeed lucky to have Ian as a member of our club.

– John Murphy and Bevan Heathcote

18

Our latest Life Member - Ian Wittber

Ian with his two sponsors Bevan Heathcote and John Murphy

Ian receiving his award from our President – Ian Marshall

19

Our other latest Life Member - Geoff Bloomfield

A

t the last half-yearly meeting of the Sorrento Bowling Club held in December 2009, Geoff Bloomfield was honoured with a Life Membership for his outstanding contribution to the Sorrento Croquet Club.

Geoff was a founding member in forming a Croquet Club in 1996.

In 1997 Croquet was introduced at the Sorrento Bowling Club, and it has progressed over the years to become a very active and efficient Club.

Geoff held the position as Captain of our Club for over a decade since its inception. He has been involved in all aspects pertaining to the efficient running of our Club which includes: 1. While Captain, attended monthly Executive Meetings of the Bowling Club.

2. Coaching of all new members.

3. The Club’s mentor and a great influence and motivator to all players.

4. Geoff has been a qualified referee for many years, and has offered his services in this role on numerous occasions at tournaments held within our State.

5. For many years, Geoff has been our delegate to the West Australian Croquet Association. He has given his services to Clubs throughout our State with his expert coaching abilities.

As one prospective player wrote to Geoff in 2000 after having been shown the rudiments of croquet, this characterizes Geoff admirably: “I admire your enthusiasm, personal qualities and the ability to sustain a highly skilled style of cohesive leadership with your colleagues”.

This statement is a true assessment of our greatest leader, Geoff Bloomfield. Your protégés salute you Geoff and congratulate you on this recognition.

20

AIR CONDITIONING

Fax: (08) 9309 9933 U7/6 Buckingham Drive, Wangara WA 6065 Email: sales@theweatherwizard.com.au Web: www.theweatherwizard.com.au

Welcome to our new sponsors The Weather Wizard.

Left to right: Peter Snow, Mike Knucky, Mike Spear, Ian Marshall and Adam Tilly

21

:

Guess who

Who is in the crane? Who is the delightful child alongside? Answers on page 42 (Clue: They are not the same person)

Tony Krsticevic MLA Member for Carine

Can I help you?

As your local Member of Parliament, I take my role in the community very seriously.

I am available to help resolve any problems you have with Government, and to listen to your views on local or State issues.

Feel free to call or visit my office to make an appointment with me.

Suite 6 Carine Glades Commercial Centre 6 Davallia Road, Duncraig WA 6023 P: 9246 1800 F: 9246 1987 E: carine@MP.wa.gov.au W: www.tonykrsticevid.com.au

22

Some Club Members in Action

“You’re speaking to me?

Watch this eye!!!

Cal O’Donnell relaxing in his normal way ( after completing the tiling of the Men’s toilet)

Richard Fermoyle and Norm Claffey hard at work sorting out the teams 23

Ronnie Rogers hard at work cooking some king-size burgers

“I wish someone would buy me a drink!

My glass has been empty for ages

Winners of the Ladies Fours Jean Middleditch, Kath Harris, Clair Hanlon and Sylvia McLaughlan

Father and Son Evening

N

inety fathers and sons took to the greens on Friday 15th January at 6.00pm for an evening of challenging bowls and family bonding. It was a great sight to see 4 greens in full use as the sun slowly sank in the west.

The aim of the evening was not to see whether the dads were better bowlers or the sons even better but to have a good time together. This was done in marvellous fashion with many family members along to support and enjoy the evening as well.

As the players Chief Organiser arrived – Chris Tibbits they were greeted by Richard and Norm who in their normal manner gratefully accepted payment, mostly from the dads, and issued scorecards, instructions and VB caps.

They also completed the paperwork and

Kane and Greg Day in their “special” bowling shirts finalised the scores at the end of the games.

Thanks for a job well done. Trevor and Ken assisted and ensured the greens were set up for the evenings games, thanks guys.

After the bowls there was a sausage sizzle which was expertly cooked by the “three chefs” Sharon, Pauline and Master Chef Murray. I think Murray was in charge of the onions and they were done to a “turn”.

Cameron, Trevor, Anne and Robin Orton – one of the teams

24

The ladies were seen cleaning up at the end while Murray was expertly downing a stubby, not only can he cook but he also knows the art of delegation.

A big thank you to these three for having the “snaggers” ready just at the right time, well done. The match committee saw the night as a huge success and thanks all those members and their family who came along and supported the evening.

– Chris Tibbits

Ken Giles and the Jones family enjoying the evening

Elenor Adams and grandchild enjoying the evening

Tiger Hogan in action

Lindsay Baker smiling as usual Left: Bev Carrigy and her grandson Right: Heardie, our Coach in action

25

Kevin Kennedy about to deliver!

SORRENTO BOWLING CLUB (INC.) PERCY DOYLE RESERVE WARWICK ROAD DUNCRAIG WA 6023

Calling all 10+ year old guys and girls!

Have a go at Lawn Bowls at Sorrento Bowling Club

on 08th, 15th and 22nd March 2010 4.00pm-6.00pm.

TELEPHONE 94470696 AND REGISTER WITH KARIN CLOSING DATE 1ST MARCH2010

FREE COACHING FREE LOAN OF BOWLS SAUSAGE SIZZLES PRIZES-VOUCHERS EMAIL:sorrentobowlingclub@amnet.net.au

Photographs taken by John Bellenger

26

Continued from page 17 credit that he took the time to come to our club room and ask if there was anything that he could do for us.

Tony was questioned about his bowling ability and admitted that he had only bowled a few times over the years but he said that in the future he may try to find time to practice. He had lots of offers of coaching but had to kindly refuse them.

Des Bennett took advantage of the situation and asked Tony if he would present the trophies to the Community Bowlers at the end of the season and Tony agreed. That will add to the occasion and make the evening a little bit more special.

This was not a fleeting visit and Tony stayed for quite a while, meeting our new sponsors and swapping a few jokes with our President Ian Marshall. Everyone had a very pleasant evening and the club would welcome Tony back any time he has the time to spare. We may even get him in one of our novelty bowling competitions.

– Dick Currie

A Bowlers Prayer Bowling’s my pleasure I shall not want It maketh me to walk up and down green pastures And leadeth me to compete in competitions It restoreth my gamesmanship And leads me in the path of David Bryant for the game’s sake Yea though I bowl in the wind and rain I will fear no evil For my skip is with me His measure and chalk they comfort me Thou prepares a rink for me In the presence of mine opponents I anointest my bowls with gripo And my bowls runneth true Surely good wicks and lucky shots Shall follow me all the days of my life And I shall dwell on my Bowling Green Forever.

– Thanks to Hazel Arter for this prayer

6 Gold get an Eight Badge

I

t was great to be involved with a couple of our first year pennant players in earning an 8 badge while playing against Beaumaris on the 9th of January. Ken Lang lead27

ing, Guy Burdon second and Tom Dowling played third.

I explained to the players the value of this moment as eights were hard to earn and some players that have been bowling for years are still trying to earn one. Well done! – Glenn Boston - 6 Gold Skip.

Meeting for Dinner

A

group of 40 years old buddies discussed where they should meet for dinner.

Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there had low cut blouses and were young and shapely.

Ten years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.

Ten years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

Ten years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and it even had an elevator.

28

Ten years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

Glen Boston Bar Manager (Extraordinaire) “A Man of Influence”

G

len Boston is a “prominent” member of the Sorrento Bowling Club and holds an important position as Bar Manager and odd jobs man. So it is easy to understand how he is a man of influence inside the club. The Club bookings, Chase the joker and the temperature of the beer all revolve around Glen’s decisions.

He controls the Bar Staff with an iron discipline insisting that they have an amiable disposition towards grumpy old men and the occasional grumpy old woman.

So…It came as a bit of a surprise to Glen when he discovered that his influence extended past the club boundaries, or so it seemed.

The story goes like this – One Wednesday in January Glen decided that the parking bays in the Percy Doyle reserve needed repainting. Seizing the moment he promptly phoned the City of Joondalup and spoke to a Customer Services Officer complaining that the parking bays were badly in need of a repaint.

To his surprise the very next day he arrived at the club to find Council workers hard at work painting the before mentioned parking bays. This was an exceptionally fast response to a complaint so he could be forgiven for considering that his influence has extended into the City of Joondalup.

What Glen wasn’t aware of was that Graeme Heard had been nagging Dick Currie to use any connections he still had with the City of Joondalup to have the painting done. You can only stand so much urging (Graeme is a good nagger) so together with Councillor Russ Fishwick (who we all voted for in the last 29

election) they managed to find some space in the budget for the painting and as the result of a “Councillor Request” application the Council Engineering Section ordered the work to be commenced.

The work by Russ and Dick took three weeks but Glen, it seems, only had to call the Council once and the painting was done the very next day.

The Club is writing a letter of appreciation to Cr. Russ Fishwick for his assistance in this matter, so enjoy the nice, white, straight, wide parking lines.

Take Time

S

ylvia McLaughlan believes that the “Take Time” article contains great words of reflection. The author is unknown.

What is this life? Is there NO TIME to rest and revere??

TAKE TIME to laugh and play, It is the source of power and music of the soul.

TAKE TIME to read and think, It is the foundation of wisdom.

TAKE TIME to explain and communicate, It is the way to avoid misunderstanding and make friends.

TAKE TIME to be friendly, It is the road to love.

TAKE TIME to love and be loved, It is the path to happiness.

TAKE TIME to pray, It is the greatest power on earth.

Darts Update

T

he Thursday night summer darts competition has commenced at the Club.

Games are organised on the night, based on how many players turn up to play. A 30

number of new members have recently joined and enjoy the casual approach taken in this competition.

If you are contemplating playing darts or just want to give it a go, come along any Thursday night at around 7pm.

– Brian Lucas

Web Site Updated

T

he Club’s website, which members will find by entering www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au

has been updated. Members can now find information about up coming events on the site’s home page. Also from the home page you can access the Club’s regular newsletters and other information about the Club.

The Calendar tab now offers all the information that you need to find out what bowls events are coming up and the results from completed events.

As in the past, you can access the latest pennant fixtures, results and the league ladders. Make sure that you enter www.sorrentobowlingclub.com.au into your web site favourites and give your feedback to the Secretary on ways that you would like to see the site improved.

– Brian Lucas

Advice from a Retired Husband

I

t is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don’t yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men’s Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable.

31

I’m ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, Boys, we take ‘em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won’t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I’m a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too. .

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol Anne. I’m not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult.

Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Editor’s Note: Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer lying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

Kelvin Kerkov Honoured

K

elvin Kerkow’s own experience learning to lawn bowl with a disability has helped him earn recognition in the Australia Day Honours List.

The South Tweed Sports Club member and Commonwealth Games gold medallist 32

recently received the medal (OAM) of the Order of Australia in the General Division.

He was recognised for his service to lawn bowls as a player, coach and mentor of junior bowlers and those with a disability, as well as being an ambassador for lawn bowls in Australia and overseas.

The 40-year-old said he was bowled over by the recognition.

“It’s a great honour to be accepting this,” Mr. Kerkow said.

“I’m thrilled to be on the list. It will be an odd feeling to see my name on there this year.”

Mr. Kerkow said his time as a child confined to a wheelchair, due to a debilitating illness, helped him identify with young bowlers suffering similar conditions.

“For the past 10 years I’ve been teaching junior bowlers at South Tweed Sports Club, and some of them did have disabilities,” Mr. Kerkow said. “There are a lot of bits and pieces I’m able to pass on from my own experiences to help them get along.”

Mr. Kerkow, who suffered from Guillain Barre Syndrome, rolled his first bowl from a wheelchair. Due to the illness, he had to learn to walk again at age 11. To this day he bowls with the aid of a cane. He recently documented his life in autobiography Rolled Gold.

Mr. Kerkow made international headlines in 2006 when he not only won the Commonwealth Games men’s singles gold, but caused controversy when he ripped his shirt off in celebration.

He won the Golden Nugget Invitation Prestige Singles at the Tweed Heads Bowls Club in 1994 and again in 2008 and was runner-up in 1995 and 2006. Also among his many titles include the World Indoor Pairs in 1997, 2006 and 2009, the World Indoor Bowls singles in 2004 and a silver medal in the Asia Pacific Games in 1997. He has represented Australia in more than 300 games.

– Tweed Daily News

Getting to know our members – Ray Dunn

R

ay and his delightful wife Emily have been members of our club for five years.

Before immigrating to Perth to be close to their family they were members of the Glen Eden Bowling Club in New Zealand..

In his 38 year bowling career Ray has served on all committees and sub-committees and has been chairman of all of them except the Bar Committee.(Note from your editor: This is a bit surprising as Ray is known to enjoy the odd beer) He has held 33

the positions of Junior and Senior Vice Presidents, President and Immediate Past President and Director of Bowls.

In recognition of his outstanding achievements, his long standing service and his devotion to the Glen Eden Bowling Club he was made a Life Member in 1987.

Ray has also been extremely successful in the sport of bowls. In New Zealand he accumulated more Championship titles than any other Club member, and has been the recipient of many other bowling honours outside the Club. He continues to win club competitions at Sorrento and has now accumulated 57 “brown envelopes” which he has saved!.

Ray is always willing to use his knowledge and skills to coach new players and he is one of the first to volunteer for a working bee when painting or work on the surrounds is required. When he wasn’t playing bowls Ray established Dunrae Milliners in 1961.

Dunrae was the name of the company For all those years in the sun They simply switched the name round The founders name Ray Dunn He and Emily started making hats using one tiny but dependable sewing machine.

With a staff of three, in a small garage, business started to boom and they moved to larger premises. In the early days times were hard and it required persistence and hard work to “make a pound” especially when fashions changed.

There were times of worry, trouble and strife But he was lucky, he had a good wife Who stood beside him and shared the pain And the next day they’d go back and face things again.

The Cheesecake Shop Warwick

Proud sponsors of the Sorrento Bowling Club Jack Dodia 9246 2397 Warwick Grove Shoppping Centre, Beach Rd, Warwick 6024 34

Ray says it was difficult to slip away for a game of bowls especially when there was the odd crisis!

Don’t get the idea that life was all bad There were good times, good things to be had One time they landed a really big order And bought a new car cos’ they could afford her.

Ray and Emily made all sorts of hats from fedoras to top hats, from bonnets to cowboy hats and even the odd gangster hat all with fine detail and lots of loving care.

Their efforts paid off and they were able to buy six shops. Eventually, after making hats for forty years, they sold the business although they stayed on to manage it for the new owners.

We are very lucky to have Ray and Emily as members of our club.

– Neville Odell and Bryce Gregory

Gonna be a Bear

I

n this life I’m a woman. In my next life I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that! Before you hibernate you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too!

When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. Yup – gonna be a bear.

– Ros Pittaway

Rules of Bowls

K

evin Coffey has suggested that in each issue we try to include some commonly encountered (and obscure) regulations taken from the “Laws of The Sport of Bowls”. We welcome your feedback or comments on this section and will happily enter them in the next issues.

What constitutes a Foot Fault? - Rule 20 – Position on the Mat 35

20.1 Before delivery a player should be standing on the mat with one foot fully on the mat. At the moment they deliver the jack or a bowl, the player should have all or part of one foot on or above the mat.

20.3 Any player not meeting the terms of this law is committing a foot fault, and Law 21 will apply.

Actions / consequences available. – Rule 21 – Foot Faulting 21.1 If the umpire, either by their own observation or on appeal by one of the skips or opponents in Singles, decides the player has not met the terms of Law 20, the umpire should on the first occasion, warn the player in the presence of the skip and advise the manager or the coach when they are present that a warning has been given.

21.2 On each occasion after this, the umpire should have the players bowl stopped and declared dead.

21.3 If it has not been possible to stop the bowl and it disturbs the head, the opponent should choose whether to: • replace the head; • leave the head as altered; or • declare the end dead.

21.4 If a player has been given a warning and still fails to meet the terms of Law 20 while delivering the jack, Law 23.2 will apply.

How to save the airlines?

D

ump the male flight attendants; no one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and ‘special services.’

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women.

Hijackings would come to a screeching halt and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to 36

turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn’t Obama think of this?

Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely, Tiger Woods

The etiquette of bowls

S

ome more etiquette from the Kalbarri Bowling Club where it was distributed to all members:

1. The Lead must try to roll Jack to the Skip’s feet.

2. The Loser of the mat should locate opponent’s bowl and place beside mat.

3. At completion of an end the winner gets mat and helps kick bowls until they are behind where he/she intends placing mat.

4. Loser - hand Jack to opponent if losing third has not done this.

5. In a match, home Second keeps scoreboard - putting the home teams score first.

6. The Second must make sure the card is correct before signing it and handing it to Skip.

Final part in the next newsletter

Why people learning English have trouble with the language

L

overs of the English language might enjoy this. (if you’re not you should get a chuckle anyway.) It is yet another example of why people learning English have trouble with the language. Learning the nuances of English makes it a difficult language. (But then, that’s probably true of many languages.)

37

There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’ It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this up is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on & on, but I’ll wrap it UP , for now ........my time is UP , so it’s time to shut UP! Oh...one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U Don’t screw UP! Now I’ll shut up

38

P

– Thanks to Clair Hanlon for this contribution

2010 Easter Carnival

O

ur annual Easter Carnival will be held on Saturday 3 April and Monday 5 April.

There is plenty of prize money to be won. Please put your names onto the list before 26 March.

I Got a Freakin Call Centre

I

was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, global warming, my savings, social security, my credit card debt I called Lifeline. Got a “freakin Call Centre in Pakistan”. I told them I was suicidal!

They got very excited and asked if I could drive a truck!!!

–Bryan Townsend

The Little Old Man

A

little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, “crushed nuts?”

“No,” he replied, “Arthritis”.

Farmer Jacks 130 Coolibah Drive Greenwood Open 7 days a week 7am to 9pm

39

– Tony Sabitino

ETC Engineering and Technology Consultants 61 Loftus St Leederville WA 6007 9328 5500 Thanks to Wayne Gray for his sponsorship

Wendy’s

Whitford City For delicious ice-creams, drinks, desserts and snacks contact Kishore Dudhia Kiosk 16 Telephone 9401 7917 40

41

Schedule of Fines and Administration Fees

T

iger Hogan has asked that the following schedule of fines be noted by members:

DETAIL OF INCIDENT Refusing to mark in a singles competition Wearing non approved clothing during any Bowls WA event Illegal use of mobile phones Sitting on banks with part of body in ditch or green Inappropriate practice on greens prior to pennant competition

AMOUNT OF FINE $30 $30 $30 per offence $30 per offence $30

Something for Scrabble Players

T

hanks to Coral Smith who sent in the following. (Note: She has lots more)

When you rearrange the letters Astonomer The Morse Code Slot machines Election results Eleven plus two Mother-in-law

Moon Starer Here come dots Cash lost in me Lies – lets recount Twelve plus one Woman Hitler!!!!

Answers to “Guess who”. The club member in the crane is John Smith and the baby is Kevin Cook

Please support our Sponsors Thanks to Dr. Mal Washer for allowing us to photocopy this newsletter 3 Boas Avenue. Joondalup.

WA 6027.

Phone: (08)9300 2244 42