Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 67 December 2016

Sorrento Bowling Club Christmas Newsletter

Father Christmas visits Sorrento with some new bowls, a croquet mallet and some darts

Number 67 – December 2016

Contents From your Editors and “Out and About” Members Enjoying the Studio K Evening Message from the President A Few Words from the Women’s Captain Over 60’s State Event at Osborne Park B.C. Thank You Wayne Gray – Our Quiet Achiever Women’s Match Committee Report Some of the 30 teams who played in our “Divorced Mixed Some Dates for Your Diary Sponsorship Committee Report Can You Read This? (Only 55 people out of 100 can) Umpires’ Corner Giddy-upp and Melbourne Cup Day sponsored by Barnes Wealth Members, friends and guests enjoying our Melbourne Cup Day Men’s Pennant Report Women’s Pennant Report Some “Brickbats and Bouquets” Croquet Corner News Our Croquet Club in Action Bowls Welfare Report Letter from Jenni Kirkham A Father Christmas Quiz Mandurah APL Cup Whose Grandsons? Our Mahjong Club 21 Rules for Old Age Our 2016 Fashion Parade “Barbaro Butchers” Opening Day Tribute to Brian Joy – 1933-2016 Our Thumbs Up Club Guess Who? Last Will and Testament Darts Club Report Members enjoying the Annual Darts Lunch Breaking News Letters to the Editor – “Have Your Say” Sorrento Wins Friendship Prize The Famous “Sorrento Sea Breeze” Answers to Questions

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From your Editors

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enise and I hope that you will enjoy reading our Christmas 2016 Newsletter. We would like to take this opportunity to wish all our readers a very happy Christmas and a great 2017. An Apology In the September 2016 newsletter, when compiling the list of Office Bearers for 2016/17, we left off Jim Ironside from the list of “Appointed Positions”. Jim will once again be our “Umpire Co-ordinator”. Many thanks to Jim for doing this again. Hire of Greens or Hall The letter on page 58 is an example of a satisfied function organiser following a recent booking of our Club’s facilities. Members are requested to spread the word amongst their friends that the Sorrento Bowling Club can offer a very enjoyable night at a competitive price. Tony Friedlieb has asked that all requests for the hire of the greens or hall should be made through the Club website. Some more “Did you know/hear?” Did you know that Bruce Eagles was not impressed with our new blue Men’s and Women’s Fixture Booklet? What upset him was that the Men’s Veteran’s Singles was scheduled to commence six days before he qualifies as a veteran. Apparently the Match Committee can expect some flack. Did you know that Kathy Gobbart claimed her first Women’s Over 60’s Singles crown by defeating Janne Gibsone (Mosman Park) at the Osborne Park Bowling Club in an exciting climax to the event? In a seesawing game, Gibsone came out strongly and quickly led 7-1 early in the game before Gobbart struck back and went on a 12-1 run to lead 13-8. Gibsone then struck back and drew level at 14-14 and then took the lead that she would hold until the final end 20-19. In a tense last end, Gobbart made the final run and took the final two shots and take the title 21-20, Did you know that the Governing Council has resolved

“Fear less, that from November 2016 we will be introducing a hope more, eat less, Recreation Membership category. The annual fee chew more, whine less, for this class of membership will be $140. This breathe more, talk less, say category will apply to new applications for bowling membership and give social members the more, hate less, love more, opportunity to upgrade their current membership And good things status and participate in social bowls events. This will be yours new category excludes participating in State events, – Swedish proverb Pennants and all Club Championship events.

Out and About

“The Beast and Two Beauties” – Ian Marshall and his granddaughters Ella and Abbey

Ron Rogers, Brian Self, Tiger Hogan and Col Cramond looking happy after winning a lot of money in the Dalkeith Men’s Spring Fours Colin Bangs and Keith Cooper hard at work feeding the “hungry masses”

New member Angela Gunson and her family

Left: Kath Harris and a polar bear

“Some say not worth 2 ‘bob’ but we say $200. Ray and Pat Stapledon, Jan Paniperis and Brad Williams winners of the R.S.L. Mixed fours held at Yokine bowling Club on 16 September.

Did you hear that a lawn bowler is likely to finish up on his Club’s ‘Dishonour Board’ after crashing into five parked cars? After drinking bourbon for a few hours he attempted to drive out of the carpark but reversed into two parked cars. He then went forward at speed and slammed into a third car pushing it into a flower bed and damaging another car. His insurance company covered the cost of damage to other vehicles but, understandably, not to his car. The Magistrate said he had the equivalent of 27 drinks in his system.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not using it in a fruit salad

Did you know that the Mt. Pleasant and Melville bowling clubs are poised for a historic merger at a new Tompkins Park multi-sports facility.? The City’s proposal includes at least two covered synthetic greens, lighting and a bar facility that will be operated by the new combined club? Did you hear about a scuffle that broke out between players during a game of lawn bowls. Tempers flared when one player, who was celebrating, allegedly bumped into the opposition. A Bowls Victoria’s Official said the behaviour did not paint a good picture for the sport. “Usually the biggest thing that might happen at a bowling club in regard to a play under way might be that somebody didn’t put enough pickle on the ham sandwiches,” he said. “It’s obvious that some people could just not hold their emotions and have expressed those in what I would say would be a rather distasteful way if it’s found out that there was some argy bargy and any sort of physical contact was made,” he said. Bowls Victoria said heat and aggression may have contributed to the altercation. Did you hear that one of our lady bowlers decided to change her bowls after a number of years with a frog logo (that’s a clue to her identity, folks), but didn’t like the new frog motif offered by the bowls shop? Instead she opted for a COQ design. But when she was asked by the man in the shop what size COQ she wanted, she almost fainted. She is calling it a ROOSTER motif now. Did you know that Robyn van Mosseveld, Shelley Jeffs, Pauline Marsden and Liz Marshall won the Ladies Gala Day event at the Wanneroo Bowling Club? Well done ladies!

Did you know that Neil and Sylvia McLaughlan celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary this year? Congratulations to you both. Did you know the Pennant team of Bob Mulroy, Barry Bradshaw, Lindsay Baker and Stan van Mosseveld have over the last three seasons played 52 games together? They won 40 and only lost 12 of their games i.e. a win ratio of 77%. As a result they got promoted from 3rd to 2nd and then to 1st Division. Well done. May this continue in the 2016/17 season. Did you know that we have a cross-dresser in our Club? He was seen wearing his wife’s new Pennant shirt with “Jan” embroidered on the front and two little pockets at the recent Mixed Pairs competition. Jan tells us that he has worn her pants as well!! Did you hear about one of our Skippers who walked to inspect the head, where he was two down, carrying the final bowl. The opposition Skipper, not realising that there was one bowl to come picked up the mat and put it on the bank. When our Skipper returned to the head to bowl his final bowl he queried what had happened to the mat. The other Skipper immediately apologised and said he did not realise there was a bowl to come.. Our Skipper declared the end to be dead thereby not two down. According to the rule-book the mat should have been replaced to where it was and our Skipper should have played his last bowl. Not very sporting? Did you hear that Darren Anstee, our Occupational Health and Safety Officer, has developed a tracking device called “Site Tracker”? It can be as small as a 50 cent coin and is stuck to commonly stolen items on building sites. It can also be used in the ma

Did you know that bowls is healthier then you think and offers the following benefits?

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MOTORSKILLS: Balance Hand, eye and foot coordination

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TIMING: Rhythm Sense of direction Depth perception

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PHYSICAL SKILLS: Fitness Core stability and flexibility Mobility and muscle toning

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PSYCHOLOGICAL SKILLS: Emotional control Focusing concentration Positive imagery Relaxation Self motivation Goal setting

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SELF ACTUALISATION: Leadership Confidence Courage Persistence Positive attitude

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SOCIAL SKILLS: Respect Sportsmanship Communication Cooperation Tolerance Loyalty Unselfishness Teamwork – Roxy de Villiers/ Randfontein Herald

Please Support All Our Sponsors

At Modern Plastics and Pergolas in Carine - Perth, we have a passion for building great outdoor areas. All our designs are tailored to suit the home and enhance your outdoor living experience. We insist on a quality finish and our attention to detail is second to none in Carine. With over 20 years experience in design and construction of patios, pergolas, carports and decks, we offer ourselves as your expert project partner. Call Rory on 0419 923 713 for a FREE no obligation quote on custom carports, decking and pergolas

rine, resource and transport industries on larger items that need to be tracked. We really are a versatile Club! Did you know that Carmel Hyde won the footy tipping, that Trish Cunningham organised? Lorraine Hyde, Shelley Gray, Carmel Hyde, Trish Cunningham, Jan Cook, and Liz Marshall went to the Casino for breakfast for about 50 participants. Carmel was presented with the trophy and a cheque and a good time was had by all. Did you know that lawn bowls on ice or the sport of curling has come to WA? It’s a sport that is hundreds of years old, but it’s very new to WA. There are hopes that it could foster some winter Olympians right here in Perth. Introductory training sessions on the ice are being held by the chairperson and founder of Curling WA, Elliott Douglas. Did you hear that Alan Anderson and Jimmy Welsh did very well in the Aero Bowls Over 60’s State Pairs? They got through to the final eight with a win over Gary and Pat Caffell who are both ranked in the top twenty State bowlers, They were unlucky to lose in their next round when an extra end had to be played to decide on the winner. Did you hear that Barbara Lorencs and Shelley Jeffs did well in the Over 60’s State Pairs? They were runner’s up after losing a closely contested final Did you hear about when Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father? He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the milkman wants to buy Mom .....’ Acknowledgements Once again a special thank you to all the contributors to our newsletter. Without your input we would not have a newsletter. A special thank you to Carmel Hyde and Bruce Eagles who often send in photographs, Ray Stapledon, Sue Hogan and Mike Berecry for their funny stories most of which are unsuitable for publication in a family newsletter of this nature and Jim Woodward for the article on Trevor Orton. Brian Lucas is also a regular contributor. Tony Bourne is always prepared to do a write up for us and we always enjoy his contributions. We also acknowledge our mate Grahame “Skew Wiff “ Watt who has again written a delightful poem about “Wind at Sorrento”. 10

Members Enjoying the Studio K Evening

Wendy Saul and Lorraine Hyde

Shelley Jeffs and Carmel Hyde

Chairmain Harris

Studio K singers entertaining members

George and Kerry Sjepcevich John and Judi Brown

Peta and Rod Garnaut from Helloworld

Tony Sabatino

Lee

Nora and Ken Giles

Lee and Ken Leach

Graeme and Veronica Whitehorn 11

Pat and Ray Stapledon

Pat Dichiera

Feedback We still welcome feedback about our newsletter from members. We know some members don’t read the newsletter but we are unsure why this is the case. Please drop a word in our ears so that we can make sure we produce a newsletter that is read by all our members. Any views on content or frequency are also welcome. There is also a view that a printed version of our newsletter is no longer required as most members have access to the internet and would therefore be able to read the electronic version on our web site. It is interesting to see that the editor of Jack Hi, after announcing that Jack Hi would only be produced on-line, rescinded the decision when reader feedback requested a return to a printed version for club members There was also a suggestion that we should change from the current A5 booklet format to an A4 version as the Marmion Angling Club do for their newsletter. Again please let us have your views on this proposal. We also got a query about why the September 2016 newsletter was “number 66”. When Denise and I started producing our newsletter in February 2007 the previous newsletter (produced by Doreen and Bill Crier and Des Bennett in December 2005) was “number 18” so our first newsletter became “number 19”. This means we have done 49 newsletters in about nine and a half years. Contact details If you need to contact us our details are as follows: (08)9309 3108 or E-mail nevodell@bigpond.net.au –Neville and Denise Odell

Message from the President

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s we get closer to the end of 2016, I would like to reflect on what this time of the year means to so many people especially the members and friends of the Sorrento Bowling Club. We are a club that offers so much, we provide facilities, friendship, comradeship, good fun and of course good times. Yes I believe we are a big “family”. There are quite a few members who are for one reason or another do not have immediate family members close by. How important is it for these members to have such a big family at the SBC. Christmas is a time to reflect on all the good things that have happened in the past twelve months. It is a time to be proud of your achievements and look to the future, it is a time to meet with your family and friends to support one another in the good and bad times. Please in the weeks leading up to Christmas think of our members who are without fam12

Winner – W.A. Auto Body Repairer of the Year, 2011 & 2014

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ily and to encourage them to be part of the family atmosphere we have at the club. No one wants to be alone at this time of the year. On behalf of the Governing Council, I would like to wish all of you a happy, healthy and safe Christmas and a prosperous 2017. –Abba

Vice President – Sport/Participation

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ith the Christmas and New Year break nearly on us I would like to thank all Departments for their co-operation.

Those who are able to enter State events should do so as it is a good guide as to where you and the Club sit in the pecking order. To date we have hosted several State events and by all reports the Club has been praised by all who attended. We struggle to get major events such State finals and Country Week finals but we must keep applying for these events. Happenings in the past must be pushed aside and move on. Comments that there is no money in these events is not entirely correct. You only have to look at the State fours. The comment that Osborne Park and Dalkeith/Nedlands get the majority of these events is because they have personnel in various positions within Bowls WA. A thought – Country Week is decided by the Country Delegates. Club championships should also be better patronized. The saying that I only make up numbers indicates a lack of interest or confidence in one’s-self. Maybe we should look at a two-tier system of Championships. Say a “Division 3 and Under Championship” might work. Maybe the more recognized bowlers take a lower division player into their team. Can’t you hear the cries of derision at such a suggestion? Before closing I must thank Marie Smart Emily Dunn and team for their outstanding efforts in catering for the State events. A Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

– Ian Marshall

Men’s Bowls Captain’s Report

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he 2016/2017 season and Club championships are well under way. We have started off going great but it is a long way to go and hopefully we will have success like we had last season. ‘B’ Green will come into play soon. The other greens are running really well and it’s a 14

credit to our Greenkeeper Alan Mcfayden and staff. We have received a lot of compliments from other clubs which is a wonderful plus for our Club. I would also like to congratulate: • Bruce Eagles in the Over 60’s Singles, coming runner up. • Kathy Gobbart for winning the Women’s Over 60’s Singles. • Barbara Lorencs and Shelley Jeffs, coming runners up in the Over 60’s Pairs. • Brian Clausen and Coral Smith for winning the Mixed Pairs. Also a big ‘Well Done’ to Peter and Angela for being runners up. Only one shot in it. • Our Men’s Selection Committee and Match Committees for the work they are doing. It’s not easy doing these jobs but a great job is being done. Trousers and Shorts – a “Last and Final Report”. There has been a total of 244 items purchased by the men and 87 by the Ladies. All have now had the ‘Trevor’s Carpet’ logo attached. A grand total of 331 garments. A big ‘Thank You’ goes to Ray Green for his support, paying a total of $3310 to the Sorrento Bowls Club. Don’t forget to support Ray in return should you need to purchase carpet. I can assure you ‘Trevor’s Carpet’ Osborne Park will provide excellent service and price to our Club members. Last but not least, a new club jacket is in the making. It will not happen overnight so be patient. Colours and Design needs to be chosen, but it is coming! To all Club members I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year. – John Godfrey

A Few Words from the Women’s Captain

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he new bowling season for 2016-17 is well under way at this point. A number of our major events have already taken place such as Opening Day, the Divorced Pairs, the Women’s 100 Up championship, the Mixed Fours and the Mixed Pairs. Congratulations go to all the winners and better luck next year to the rest. Hopefully everyone enjoyed the competitions and the company of their opponents. Our Pennant sides are looking fresh and colourful in our new shirts – the same graphic design as our men. It is wonderful to see the men and women on the greens looking coordinated and unified. The results to date for our Pennant sides has been a bit mixed, but with the composition of teams still settling down, improved results will come. Some sides are doing awesomely well, so well done to you girls. A number of our lady members are currently experiencing major health challenges and to these people I pass on the very best of wishes from us all for a very speedy and full 15

Over 60’s State Event at Osborne Park B.C.

Chris Lander is the bearded guy on the RIGHT and not the bearded guy on the LEFT in case there is an confusion on who is who!

Chris Lander pondering his next shot

Some of the contestants did not look over 60

The Osborne Park Bowling Club looked 16 beautiful with yellow daisies and roses

Kathy Gobbart in action

recovery. It is distressing to hear of these illnesses but just know that you are in our thoughts during these tough times. Our annual Gala Day is fast approaching early in the New Year. I encourage everyone to start putting aside items for the stalls as this event is our major fund raiser each year. Also give some thought to ways in which you may be able to help on the day. Any of our male members who would also like to be involved on Friday 6 January 2017, are most welcome to join in – there are always jobs to be done. Christmas is now only about 6 weeks away. I would like to wish everyone a wonderful break spent with family, friends and festive fare. Take great care, if travelling, and enjoy a restful, fun-filled holiday season before returning to the second half of the bowling/croquet/darts/social calendar. I wish you also a fabulous and prosperous New Year. – Sharon Eggers

Thank You Wayne Gray – Our Quiet Achiever

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n 30 September 2016 the Club celebrated the official opening of its refurbished kitchen. This is one of the many infrastructure projects overseen by the quiet and unassuming Wayne Gray. Wayne joined the Club to play darts in 2001 and within a relatively short time became an accomplished lawn bowler. In his role as President of the Dart Club in 2009 Wayne became part of the Bowling Club’s Executive Committee. The introduction of the Governing Council in 2014 saw Wayne appointed as its Vice President of Operations. Wayne has been able to apply his extensive experience and expertise gained over many years from being a partner and joint owner of a thriving engineering and technology business (Engineering Technology Consultants – ETC). Projects that he has over seen have ranged from clubhouse lighting and general infrastructure management through to projects like the refurbishment of the clubhouse in 2008; lighting of our greens; installation of CCTV and security systems; relocation of the dart boards; wall plastering and the establishment of the information nook; and many more. Wayne is currently involved in the design of the Club’s Western clubhouse extension; Phases 2 and 3 of the kitchen extension; establishing an undercover area; adding hand 17

rails along A and B greens; and the provision of additional outside toilets. In his address to members at the opening of the kitchen refurbishment, President John Abercrombie paid tribute to Wayne’s tremendous contribution, saying: “The phase 1 refurbishment involved a complete revamp of the old kitchen and the installation of new equipment. The project cost just over $60 000, $13 200 of which came from a Federal Government ‘Stronger Communities’ grant and the remainder from Club funds.

Ross and Trish say a big thank-you to Wayne To some it may appear that the old kitchen was transformed overnight. This was not the case. It involved months of planning and design; obtaining Council and Health approvals; selecting equipment and budgeting; and choosing contractors and managing the contracts. It has not always been smooth sailing and much remedial work has been necessary along the way. Thanks to the many, many hours contributed and the hard work of your Vice President (Operations), Wayne Gray, this project is a resounding success. We should also spare a thought for poor Wayne as for much of this project he was on holiday trying to enjoy the sunshine and tranquillity of Coral Bay while at the same time spending countless hours on phone calls and e-mails sorting out issues with the Council, suppliers and contractors.” A word of warning however! Like Clarke Kent this “mild mannered reporter” does not like you to hang anything on our Clubhouse walls without getting his approval, or else.” On behalf of our members, thank you Wayne for your past and ongoing support. – Brian Lucas 18

Men’s Match Committee Report Mixed Fours Sunday 9 October saw the first rounds of the Club Mixed Fours Championship played over 15 ends under very blustery and rainy conditions. It was disappointing to see only 16 teams enter this event with one team pulling out on the Sunday morning, making it necessary to play an alignment round. End of play on the first day saw the team of Rick Munt, Peter Balcombe, Jackie Maxwell and Izzy Davies and the team of Ian, Brett and Liz Marshall and Fran Bracknell going through to the semi-finals. On the following Sunday the alignment rounds were played between the Cunninghams and the Smiths and the Odells supported by Monique Kopec and Denis Croker, with Neville’s team running out the winners. The other alignment game was between the Lilleys, Ray Stapledon and Lorraine Hyde and the team of Barry Stewart, Carmel Hyde and Jan and Kevin Cook, with Barry’s team winning. The next game played was the semi-final between Rick Munt’s team and Ian Marshall’s team over eighteen ends and was won by Rick and his team. The other semi-final was between Neville’s four and Barry’s four and was won by a single shot by Barry and his team. The final, played over eighteen ends, was between Rick Munt, Peter Balcombe, Jackie Maxwell and Izzy Davies and Barry Stewart, Jan Cook, Kevin Cook and Carmel Hyde and was won by the Barry’s team. Well done to the winning team and all the other teams who played under very cold conditions. Mixed Pairs The final of the Mixed Pairs for 2016-2107 was played on Sunday 13 November in beautiful conditions. It is difficult to imagine a more exciting conclusion to a match with the 216th and final bowl of the match deciding the outcome. The finalists were Angela Gunson and Peter Balcombe opposed by Coral Smith and Brian Clausen. Angela and Peter started well and led 5-1 after 4 ends and 9-6 after 9 ends before a four to Coral and Brian saw then take the lead. After 12 ends it was all square, until Coral and Brian 19

won three consecutive ends to lead 15-11 with only three ends to play. Angela and Peter then scored a three to be right back in it, and with one end to go it was 15 all. In a dramatic final end, Coral held shot until Angela’s last bowl squeezed past for shot. With only his final bowl to go, Brian played a forehand draw and it stopped almost equidistant from the jack. Peter initially conceded the shot to Brian and Coral, but Angela justifiably wanted a measure, which was won by Coral and Brian by about 5 mm (1/4 inch for those still using the ‘old money’). Congratulations to Coral and Brian, and to Angela and Peter, too for a great match watched by an appreciative crowd. The losing semi-finalists were Robyn and Stan Van Mosseveld, and Pauline Marsden and Chris Lander. Thank you to all 64 participants in this event, which – for a change – was completed without weather delays or re-scheduled matches. IGA Twilight Pairs This popular season-long event resumed on Wednesday 2 November, with 52 bowlers turning out. Twilight bowls has moved to a Wednesday to try to encourage more women to play (rather than having to play again after Pennants) and to have faster greens (which had to be watered after women’s pennants). So far the move has been a successful one. The 2-4-2 format allows bowlers to develop flexibility in their games because players have to alternate between lead and skip, and even those who have never played an up shot in anger get a chance to try them on occasions. IGA Duncraig have again sponsored this event, with $500 being made available to the Match Committee. This sponsorship will be apportioned across five monthly blocks of matches with $100 awarded to the pair who have the most wins and shots up each month. So if you have nothing else to do on a Wednesday evening, get your names in by 4:00 pm for a 4:30 start. – Ken Giles and Trevor Orton 20

Women’s Match Committee Report Modern Plastics and Pergolas Open Mixed Pairs On Wednesday 21 September we had our final Nominated Open Pairs for the season. A great day was had by all of 62 members and guests. The greens were in great condition and we were blessed with blue skies and a very pleasant temperature of 22 degrees. This event was sponsored by Modern Plastics and Pergolas who donated to our prize money, a big thank you goes out to them, and if you are looking to enhance your outdoor living areas for summer, this company is local so call Rory for a free quote with no obligation. A raffle was held on the day and thanks goes to Neville Odell for organising of the sponsorship and raffles. There were two IGA meat packs, two bottles of wine and two fish and chip vouchers donated by 9 Oceans Fish and Chips in Marri Road Duncraig. The champion bowlers for the final event were Juris and Barbara Lorencs in first place, runners up were Steve Mortimer and Warren Elliott, and third prize went to Stan and Robyn Van Mosseveld. We finished off the day with a sausage sizzle served to us by Keith Cooper and his assistant Judy Campbell. Thank you to them for a delicious end to a great day. Divorced Mixed Pairs Our annual Divorced Mixed Pairs was held on Wednesday 28 September. There were 30 teams on the list on the day of the draw, but on the actual day of the match we had a small problem with several members not turning up at the appropriate time. Starting time was 9.30am for 10am but some members thought it was 12.30pm for 1pm. We had to try and re-organise some teams for the morning game with the result we were a bit late on 21

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Some of the 30 teams who played in our “Divorced Mixed Pairs” on Wednesday 28 September 2016

getting out on to the greens. All went well at the end of the day with the missing players showing up albeit a bit later than required. As usual it was a great day and enjoyed by everyone. The morning winners were Bruce Eagles and Coral Smith, the afternoon winners were Chris Lander and Trish Cunningham. The overall winners on the day were Brian Saul and Kathy Gobbart, and runners up were Rick Munt and Jackie Maxwell. The day ended with a sausage sizzle served up to us by Keith Cooper and Co. Thanks to all who took part in the organisation of this event, and we will look forward to an uneventful match next season. One Hundred Up

Our first ladies event of the new season the “100 Up” took place on Wednesday 5 and Wednesday 12 October. There were 24 ladies taking part and the play was sectional giving us three players per section on the first day followed by a knockout on the 12th. The weather was good to us on both Wednesdays, and the greens were in great shape.

May your Christmas sparkle with moments of love, laughter and goodwill, and may the year ahead be full of contentment and joy

Congratulations go to Pauline Bourne for taking out the winning position of the event, and to Liz Marshall being the runner up. Thank you to all the ladies who took part in the event. Before closing – I would like to thank both Pauline Marsden and Lee Leach for all the time that they put into Match while I was away. A massive bouquet to you girls. A Merry Christmas to all. – Charmain Harris and Lee Leach

Some Dates for Your Diary • Joe and Barbara Stow Day: Friday 2 December 2016. Support our Heart Foundation •

fund raising An early Christmas treat is coming your way on Friday 9 December. Wrapped up in glitter and glamour Elvis will be making a special appearance along with other guest 23

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artists to entertain you. Our very own Silver Fern Catering will be serving you a scrumptious meal with all the trimmings. You can get into the party spirit by dressing up in your Christmas tinsel or as your favourite artist... any Dolly Partons out there? Bring your own mistletoe and make new friends !! Tickets are $45 and they will sell fast so get your table bookings soon. Christmas Get-together Friday 16 December after Social Bowls. Bring a plate. Ladies Annual Gala Day – Friday 6 January 2017.

Sponsorship Committee Report Our Commitment On behalf of the Club, the Sponsorship Committee gives a commitment to our Sponsors that Sorrento Bowling Club members will provide our Sponsors with the first opportunity to win their business. In return our Sponsors offer our members a trusted vendor who will provide quality and value for money products and services. This relationship represents a win-win arrangement and we ask the all members to first consider our sponsors before making a purchasing decision – it simply makes sense. Please remember that when you contact one of our Sponsors mention that you are a member of the Club. It will help in your discussions and benefit Sorrento if sponsors are aware of the value of their sponsorship. New Sponsors The Sponsorship Committee welcomes Darren Ebsworth as one of our Sponsors. Darren is the owner operator of A&O Pest Management Services. If you have any problems with ants, termites, cockroaches, millipedes, rodents, wasps or bees please contact Darren for a free quote and service with a smile. Terry Smith and John Godfrey are already seeking Darren out for their pest control solutions. Recent sponsors Barnes Wealth Management services are now proudly displayed on their sign on C green. James Barnes tells us that he has already had one referral and three enquiries from members. Barnes Wealth Management was the generous supporter of this year’s Melbourne Cup day. Eyes On Optometrists sponsorship is continuing. For all of your optical needs see Paul or the other friendly staff at their Marri Road Shopping Centre store. Dickies Tree Services has continued their sponsorship of the Club. Dickies provide a wealth of tree maintenance services. John Brown recently used Dickies and was very satisfied with both their price and service. 24

Winner’s of the Monthly Sponsor’s Lucky Draw September 2016: Monique Kopec, October 2016: Ray Stapledon and November 2016 Ted McGrady. Thanks again to Brian Self who continues to sponsor the $50 monthly prize. For a chance to win make sure that when you support a Sponsor you place a receipt in the box. The sheet summarising details of our sponsors is being updated. Please take a copy from “Sponsors Corner” and place it on the door of your refrigerator. Helloworld Travel Balcatta In October Rod Garnaut from Helloworld held an information session at our Club. More than 40 people enjoyed the delicious cakes and got lots of information on river cruising. Rod was happy with the attendance and will be repeating this sort of event in the future. Modern Plastics and Pergolas Open Pairs This event was a success and generated a profit of $472 which more than covered the normal green fees. A full report on this named event is included in the Women’s Match Committee report. Rory at Modern Plastics and Pergolas is the person to see when you are thinking about replacing your old pergola or putting up a new carport. Barbaro Butchers Open Day Once again our Club Open Day was a great success. The Sponsor’s Raffle was a success and generated a profit of $736 after all expenses. A pair of bowls shoes was donated by Aero Bowls, Sorrento Beach Resort donated an accommodation voucher. Two meat packs were donated by Barbaro Butchers and 9 Oceans supplied a fish and Chip voucher. Duncraig Physio kindly supplied a treatment voucher which was won by Brian Kiely. Our Dart Club provided a 30 can Esky with the beer included. Members will be interested to know that Ross Cunningham has been buying his Porterhouse steaks from Barbaro for his popular Friday night steak sandwiches (and they are delicious!). Trevor Carpets We have now had 331 uniforms embroidered with the Trevor Carpets logo. Ray Green will be donating $10 to our Club for each logo. Thank you Ray for your generous donation. IGA Twilight Bowls IGA Marri Road will again be sponsoring the Wednesday Twilight Bowls. Brads Hairdressers and Safeway Security These two Sponsors have kindly agreed to continue with their sponsorship of the “Pots” prizes awarded to Pennant player who have the largest shot difference. Many thanks to you both. Melbourne Cup Day Our new Sponsor, Barnes Wealth Management was a generous supporter of the Club’s 25

Melbourne Cup Day. Members who attended enjoyed their start up champagne and strawberries and the entertainment (Dizzy Lizzy), all sponsored by Barnes Wealth Management. Barnes also allowed member ticket prices to be subsidized and contributed a number of wonderful wealth management packages. Ross Porteous won first prize which is a full financial plan valued at $2500. We are sure that Barnes Wealth Management clients who attended the event had a great time. Thanks to Jan Cook and her band of helpers for making the event such a success. – Brian Lucas, Jan Paniperis and Neville Odell

Can You Read This? (Only 55 people out of 100 can)

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cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! – Ian Wittber

Umpires’ Corner

Calling the Umpire Points to remember when calling for the umpire.

• The umpire should only be called when both teams or opponents in singles have •

• •

• •

agreed to seek the umpire’s ruling on a measurement or law. Every effort should be made to resolve measurement and law issues before calling the umpire, particularly when ‘playing’ umpires are involved, such as in Pennants. For example, players can use the umpire’s long tape to measure the correct length of the jack (but not any other of the umpire’s equipment). When calling the umpire make sure he is aware which rink is involved (hand raised) and for a measurement, give a clear indication of the distance involved so that the umpire can select and bring with them the appropriate equipment. Only the Skippers or players in singles can call the umpire for a ruling on the laws of the game. If a member of a team believes that the laws have been breached, they should refer the matter to their Skipper who should attempt to resolve it with the opposing Skipper. If the Skippers cannot agree they should call the umpire. All irrelevant bowls should be removed from the head to give the umpire a clear view and space to work. Advise the umpire of exactly what requires measuring. 26

• All players should stand well clear, preferably on the bank, while the umpire meas• •

ures, except when asked by the umpire to assist. For all measurements, the umpire’s decision is final and should not be questioned or commented on. For umpire’s decisions relating to the meaning or interpretation of any Law, there is a right of appeal to Bowls WA by the skip of either team, the manager of either side or either player in a singles game. In Pennants, if a side is considering a protest, they must make a decision before they leave the venue, and their Manager must tick the appropriate box on the Pennant Return Sheet. The Home club is to fax or email the Pennant Result sheet to Bowls WA as soon as possible. The protesting Club has until midday the following work day to submit the official protest in writing explaining the exact nature and circumstances of the protest and to deposit the $50 protest fee to Bowls WA.

Umpire Re-accreditation Congratulations to Gavan Ebsworth for achieving his re-accreditation as a National Umpire. Well done Gavan. Test your knowledge of the Laws - Answers are on page 61 What happens when 1. The jack is broken into pieces by a drive. 2. The Skipper throws the mat onto the bank when there is still a bowl to be delivered.

Giddy-upp

- Jim Ironside

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t was Melbourne Cup day at our Club. The track was fast and the field was raring to go. The floral entrance arch was magnificent, thanks to Brian Collins for his manufacturing skills and Lorraine, Carmel and Rosalyn who adorned the frame with flowers galore. Special thanks go to our new Club major sponsors Barnes Wealth Management. They generously paid for the entertainment, plentiful champagne and subsidised the table cost for members and guests. They also bought three tables for their clients and friends. Well done James Barnes who suggested the sponsorship to his willing dad and boss, Brendan. As with all sponsors we hope our members give their support and business to them. “Cook and Saul” were the money men who were suitably attired and with bag at hand played the book maker’s’ roll superbly. All of the sweepstake tickets were sold to eager race goers. Thanks also Ray Green for the loan of his authentic race gear which helped create the atmosphere. Congratulations, particularly the ladies for dressing the part with an assortment of hats 27

Melbourne Cup Day sponsored by Barnes Wealth

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Members, friends and guests 29 enjoying our Melbourne Cup Day

and fascinators. Lorraine Hyde was voted best dressed but you all looked great! Dizzy Miss Lizzy was the perfect entertainment, a very polished couple and Lizzy, you have a super voice. Your music contributed so much to the day. The dance floor was well occupied too, Oh yes, the Race. Eyes raised to the TV screens and dropped to the betting tickets. The finish was exciting and followed by yelps and groans as punters checked their luck. A certain lady next to me, who sleeps with our editor/photographer, had enough yelps for the whole table and quickly made her way to the pay out office. The usual outstanding presentation and quality of the lunch followed thanks to Trish and Ross. This was followed by more dancing, some of the Barnes group testing their bowling skills and a humorous scrounging through the remnants of betting tickets when it was realised there was a pay out for the last placed horse. Last and very much not least we once again applaud Jan Cook who almost single handedly, with the usual group of lady helpers setting up tables and more, organised and prepared for this fantastic well attended day. –Tony Bourne

Men’s Pennant Report

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ur Club has enjoyed a successful start to the Pennant season entering the same number of teams on Thursday and Saturday as we did last season. It was pleasing to welcome the following new players to the club who have already made significant contributions: Colin Jasper, Shane Rixom, Roger Palmer, Alan Gallagher, Bill Berry, Paul Doherty, Harold Jahn, Russell Ellen, Jim Spencer and Nathan Ashkenazy. Also a warm welcome back to Ian Wittber and Graeme Whitehorn. On Wednesday 19 October our annual “Player’s Tea” was held and we had 86 players enjoy a lovely meal provided by Silver Fern catering i.e. Ross and Trish Cunningham. The Club is able to award pots i.e. a beer of their choice to the members of the highest winning rink on each Thursday and Saturday of the Pennant season. I would like to thank our generous sponsors Brad’s Hairdressing Carine (who sponsor the Men’s Pots) and Safeway Security (who sponsor the Ladies Pots) for their continued support and encourage all members to support these sponsors. It is also interesting to note that the only Skipper to have played in all fixtures on Thursday and Saturday this season and remain undefeated on his rink is new member Jim Spencer. Congratulations to Jim and the other members on his respective rinks. Thursday Pennants 3 Blue 1 and 3 Gold 3 are the only undefeated sides after the first 3 rounds. 30

Thursday Pots Winners • Round 1: Tom Nasuti, Ken Giles, Tiger Hogan and Neville Odell • Round 2: Ian Marshall, Fred Stimpson, Murray Newman and John Sanders, Trevor Orton, Craig Grisbrook, John Collishaw and Jim Ironside • Round 3: Tom Nasuti, Ken Giles, Tiger Hogan and Neville Odell. Saturday Pennants 1 Blue and 3 Blue 1 are the only undefeated sides after the first four rounds. Saturday Pots Winners • Round 1: Phil Oldershaw, Frank Lilley, Peter Balcombe and Dion Smith • Round 2: Keith Tompkins, Barry Bradshaw, Bill Long and Phil Bilich • Round 3: Chris Lander, Ron Rogers, Brien Kiely and Warren Elliott • Round 4: Alan Wood, Dan Greig, Graeme Whitehorn and Steve Benn – Rob Tozer

Women’s Pennant Report

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egardless of what people think the Selection Committee is doing a good job. It is done with a lot of hard work by your Committee. Our job is not done when we have selected teams each week. We have to make a lot of phone calls with unhappy people, some sick and some on holiday. We accept this, take it on board and do the best we can with what we have left . The thing is we have rules to follow from Bowls WA such as duty of care for our players. Premier has got off to a slow start but we know they will pick up the pace after a few weeks. Nerrida Porteous is on top of the Skipper’s ladder in Premier. In 1 Green North Sorrento is 2nd with Moira Dean top of the Skipper’s ladder and Lorraine Hyde 3rd. In 2 Blue Sorrento is 2nd and Vonnie King was on top of the Skippers ladder last week but, as they had a bye that has changed. In 2 Green Sorrento is 4th so they are doing a good job. Charmain Harris is 11th on the ladder so that will improve. In 3 Green Sorrento is equal 4th which is good. Saturday Pennants 1 Red is on top. 3 Violet is struggling but they are keen and only lost by one on Saturday so a bit unlucky. You are all doing a great job and thank you for your great effort. To all the Ladies who are unwell at this time Selection wishes you all a speedy recovery. I would like to thank my Committee for their support in our meetings which can be hard work. I take this opportunity to wish all members of the Sorrento club a wonderful festive season and a very happy 2017. – Lorraine Hyde 31

Some “Brickbats and Bouquets” Bouquets (compliments)

• Well done to Kathy Gobbart and Chris Lander for be-

• •

• • • •

ing part of the Men’s and Ladies Western Australian over 60s State side. It was good to see two players from Sorrento representing WA. Well done all the members who have done well in State events. To John Godfrey for his effort in selling 244 pairs of Men’s pants and shorts. He was very appreciative of the support by the Pennant players. John is now referred to as the “pants man”. Thank you to Robyn Rowe for all her pretty pot plants around the Club-house and for all the work she has done in our gardens. To the organisers of Melbourne Cup day at the Club– one word –.“AWESOME”. A bouquet to the Ladies who make the Men’s Pennants sandwiches –“DELICIOUS”. Sorrento you are amazing! A 40th birthday party was hosted here at the Club on Saturday 12 November and the party goers had an awesome time. Thank you to Ken Giles and all the volunteers who took the party onto the bowling green. As always our volunteers are admired for their enthusiasm, generosity and community spirit.

Brickbats (criticisms)

• Some members are still parking in the area reserved

• •

• •

for the Governing Council and Club Captains. Only the kitchen contractor and Bar Manager are authorised to use this area when bays are available. Some members are using the Green Keepers blue bin to deposit personal rubbish. We have a mystery on our hands – jacks are disappearing !! We are appealing to the membership to organise search parties. If you find any stray jacks hiding in bags, lockers or in another location please return them to the Match Office. Why is the Sorrento Bowling Club not included in the Jack Hi’s annual list of “Where to get a game of bowls in the winter”? Surely we need to encourage bowlers from other clubs to support us. A brickbat to those members who don’t return empty glasses to the bar. 32

Croquet Corner News Australian National Men’s Singles Golf Croquet Tournament This major event, held between 31 August and 11 September 2016, was hosted by Western Australia for the first time. Sorrento was selected as the venue for the “Z Block semi- and finals” and was deemed a great success by all involved. Although our part in the event was small in number, it was relatively high in competition importance as the players allocated to our Club were vying for places five to eight in Australia. This event, and the Ladies’ State Singles Competition held previously at Sorrento, have put our Club onto the Croquetwest “map”. We very much appreciated the efforts of the greenkeepers to return our courts to good repair under difficult circumstances. The comments from the players, regarding the courts, were very complimentary indeed, as they were regarding our overall hospitality. The Croquet Committee also extends a big “thank you” to the croquet members, for their help and support in ensuring that the equipment was up to scratch; and for the work they put into the setting up and packing away of the facilities needed to play, serve refreshments, provide First Aid, and cater for the day. Without the assistance of these willing volunteers, it would be very difficult to host such events. “For some, volunteering is about giving; but for others it is a way of living”. Special thanks are extended to Ian Marshall, Allan Rolls, Kevin Cook, Derek Lay, Frank Bomford, and many others, who played major parts in preparing the Club for this event. Their on-going help and support is invaluable and greatly appreciated. West Australian State Singles Ricochet Croquet Tournament This was the second State competition to be held at Sorrento Club. One of our current members, Terry Harvey, and an ex-member, Peter Hamilton entered the event, but were both runners-up in their Blocks on the first day of the competition, so did not proceed to the finals. The final of the competition, played on Sunday, was won by Sandy Boon from Nedlands, with Robert Close from Como (also an ex-Sorrento member) being runner-up. Again, the Croquet Committee, led by Kerry Bomford, and other members provided players with a successful and enjoyable competition. Other Competition News Moorabinda Association Croquet Singles In a tight finish at this recent tournament, David Ward performed well and was runner-up in his Block on a point count - having won 5 of 6 games, as did the winner. 33

York Association Croquet Invitational Singles David also played in this competition over the weekend of 28 and 29 October, where he had to compete against eight of the top ten players in the State. Weather was HOT on the Saturday (requiring suspension of play) but thankfully cooler on the Sunday. In a field of eight, he won two games, beating 4th and 6th ranked Sate players. Golf Croquet Club Singles Championship This competition was held on Sunday 6 November with an entry of eight players, all with fairly similar playing abilities. The low number of entries allowed for every entrant to play every other player, but strict time limits had to be placed on the games to ensure that the competition could be completed within the day. The time limits meant that some very closely-contested games could not be completed. The final results are decided first on the number of games won, and if this is equal, on the net hoops won. The outstanding winner was Trish Klemp, who won five games with a net hoop count of 17; runner-up was Judith Skeet who also won five games with a net hoop count of four; and in third place was Di McGivern with four wins and a net hoop count of eight. The event ended with a social gathering of players (and some partners) in the Clubhouse, at which prizes were presented to Trish and Judith. Congratulations! Croquet Coaching David Ward commenced a coaching course on Wednesday 26 October with a keen group of participants. This coaching takes place from 6 – 8pm every Wednesday and will continue for several weeks. It is hoped that Association Croquet will soon be played regularly by this group of members. Terry Harvey and Trish Klemp provided four coaching clinics for players of golf croquet on Saturday mornings from 29 October through to 19 November. These were eagerly attended by several players aspiring to improve their games and to learn this additional form of croquet. Have a Go Day This event is held at Burswood each year and targets Seniors. Sorrento Croquet held a booth and showed many people the art of the game. Terry Harvey coordinated this event on behalf of Sorrento and was willingly supported by Margot Bindeman, Judith Skeet, Pat Hobson, Cheryl Jackson and Ashlea Armstrong. Terry even got to show our Premier Colin Barnett how to play. See photo on page 35. Croquet Section Major Raffle The croquet section of the club now has permission to hold two major raffles each year. The first of these has proved to be very successful. The Captain and Committee take this opportunity to thank everyone who made donations and who supported the raffle by buying tickets. The draw took place at the Melbourne Cup Luncheon. The winners are: 34

Our Croquet Club in Action

Above: Members and visitors enjoying drinks and nibbles after the State Ricochet Singles Below: Colin Barnett trying his hand at croquet

Sandy Boon from Nedlands playing in the State Ricochet Singles.

Men’s Nationals Croquet Competition held at Sorrento on the 6 September: Di McGivern and Kerry Bomford with players from other States 35

Judith Skeet and Wayne Gray exiting the ladies toilet with big smiles on their faces! What were they checking out?

• The 1st Prize Wine Cooler filled with a variety of wines and spirits donated by Croquet

members, their families and friends went to Di McGivern. • The 2nd Prize $30 Gift Voucher donated by Dan Murphy’s, Joondalup Store went to Thora Lay. • The 3rd Prize 1.5 litre bottle of “Upside Down” red wine blend donated by Cellarbrations Liquor in Duncraig went to Eleanor Adams. • The 4th Prize $25 Gift Voucher donated by BWS, Seacrest went to George Sjepcevich. • The 5th Prize of two bottles of red wine donated by Judy Campbell went to BW or “Grumpy”. Originally, there were only going to be three prize-winners, but last minute donations enabled us to increase this to five winners. Congratulations to the prize winners and a very special “Thank You” to all donors and participants in the draw. A special “thank you” to the many Club members who willingly bought additional tickets when I walked around selling tickets after Bowls each night. Keep your eyes open for the next major raffle run by the Croquet Club!! Forthcoming Events

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Friday 2 December Croquet Christmas Lunch Date to be advised Golf Croquet Doubles Championship 2016-17 Saturday 4 February Ricochet Singles Championship 2016-17 Sunday 26 February Ricochet Doubles Championship 2016-17

Applying the Rules of Golf Croquet # 2 (Answers on Page 61) 1. A ball appeared to have stopped, after running a hoop (in order). Five seconds later, but before the players agreed that the hoop had been cleared, it rolls back into the jaws of the hoop. Is the ball put back to where it originally stopped, and the hoop therefore scored? [Refer Rule 6 (j)] 2. In a handicap game, the player with extra turns commits a striking fault during his turn. The opponent elects to leave the balls where they came to rest. The first player then decides to take an extra turn. Is this allowed, and what happens with regard to the positions of the balls? [Refer Rule 16 (f)] 3. At the beginning of a turn, the Blue and Black balls are touching, both having been correctly replaced on the court having left the court. Before the player of Blue plays, he picks up the Black ball and places it off the court. The opponent claims a non-striking fault has been committed. Is this the case? Explain the situation? [Refer Rule 6(i)] Croquet players never die, they just “peg-out” 36

– Di McGivern

Bowls Welfare Report • Bill and May Leyland are OK. It’s great to see them having a drink on the patio. • Glenn Boston is improving and is keeping active. It was good to see you at Sorrento • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

recently, Glenn, but we would like to see you more often. Coral Smith is back bowling and it was great to see her winning the Mixed Pairs Championship with Brian Clauson. Well done, Coral! Jean Baker is having treatment but is doing well and is back bowling. Keep it up, Jean. Hans Correlje is not too well. Greetings from all your mates. Val Thornett is doing OK and is hoping to get back to bowls next year. Looking forward to seeing you back on the greens, Val. Shirley Dinning has been unwell for a couple of months but is doing well now. Pleased to hear you are feeling better, Shirley. Glad to hear that you are doing OK, Roy Bracknell. Jackie Maxwell is having treatment and we wish her well. Dick Merton is having eyesight problems and is being treated. He hopes to get back to the Club soon and we look forward to your return, Dick. Graeme Heard says that Nelly is not doing at all well. He took her down to the Club for a roll up recently which she really enjoyed and would like to continue with the roll up’s. Keep bowling, Nelly, we love to see you at the Club. Jean Middleditch is having treatment and we send her lots of love and good wishes. Robyn Woodward has had a back operation which was a success. She will be off bowls for a while. We miss seeing you at Pennants, Robyn. John Farmer is not too well. We would like you to know your mates at Sorrento send you their best wishes. Great to see you having a roll-up. Sylvia Mclaughlan is home after having intravenous injections in hospital to treat an injury she sustained after a fall, which became infected. Glad you are OK, Sylvia. Darryl Rowlands expects to be back at bowls after Christmas. We are looking forward to your return. We would like to extend to Janet Siney and her family our condolences on the sudden death of her husband, Chris. Your friends at Sorrento are thinking of you at this very sad time, Janet.

On behalf of all Club members who have been having health issues a quick and good recovery. Finally we received a very nice “Thank You” letter from Jenni Kirkham in early October which you will see on page 38. – John Murphy and Denise Odell 37

Letter from Jenni Kirkham

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A Father Christmas Quiz

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ome questions from Richard Fermoyle:

1. If you wanted to send a letter to Santa to request a new set of bowls what address would you use to make sure the letter got to him? 2. When he gets the letter his wife will help him wrap your present. What is his wife’s name? 3. When he gets on his sleigh his faithful reindeer will pull it. How many reindeer does he have? 4. What are their names? (Answers on Page 61)

Mandurah APL Cup

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he Sorrento Bowling Club was invited to nominate a team to take part in the second Mandurah APL Cup held on 24 and 25 September 2016 at the Mandurah Bowling and Recreation Club. A team of four players was nominated together with a non-playing Manager. Our team consisted of Chris Lander, Kathy Gobbart, Bruce Eagles, Pauline Bourne together with Richard Bone as the Manager. Unfortunately, Chris had to withdraw from the team and Richard became a playing Manager. A total of 32 teams from around the State participated. Each team was drawn into four sections with teams in each section playing each other over seven qualifying games. The top two teams in each section then played off in the finals. Each game was a game of pairs and played by three of the four players – the third player being the substitute and the fourth player sitting out. Each player had to play a minimum of four games and within a game, each player had to play a minimum of 12 bowls. A game consisted of two sets of five ends and if it resulted in a tied game, an additional end was played. Games had to be completed within 1 hour and were played both indoor and outdoor on carpet. Wet, cold and windy conditions and slick carpet surfaces provided plenty of challenges when playing outdoors and the slick indoor carpet continued to provide challenges to all players including one game played at night under lights. With no practice or roll ups allowed on the game day, it was straight into action with the Sorrento team drawing the home team and playing first up indoors. A two set win in the first game was a great start. The second game was outdoors and went into a tie break 39

game after each team won one set. Sorrento held two close shots with the opposition Skip to play his last bowl over a ditch to ditch length. It took a pearler of a bowl from Matt Ellul to dead draw and help his side to a win. Game 3 saw Sorrento win by two sets but then suffer a two set loss against the powerful Manning team which went on to win the tournament. Our fifth game was at 7.45pm indoors and resulted in a win following a one set win together with a drawn set. Day 2 did not start off well when we did not handle the windy conditions and lost by two sets however a better performance indoors resulted in a two set win in the last qualifying round. The four win and three loss performance resulted in the team finishing third in the eightteam section and missing the finals by three points. All four players felt it was a very commendable achievement considering our first exposure to this type of format and the pressure environment of playing short games within tight time lines. The tournament was a great learning experience and our team enjoyed the experience and the opportunity to form a compatible and competitive outfit to challenge many of the State’s best bowlers. A lot has been learnt and this will hold the Club in good stead for any future invitations to the Mandurah APL Cup. – Richard Bone

Whose Grandsons?

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n the September newsletter we featured Fred Stimpson’s grandsons who are race car drivers. Bob Jeffs was the first to identify them and thereby won a bottle of wine which was donated by Fred. – Neville Odell

Our Mahjong Club

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ur Mahjong Club is looking for new members. If you would like to join this Club please approach Julie Sabatino for more information. The Club meets on Wednesday mornings.

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21 Rules for Old Age 1. It’s time to use the money you’ve saved up. Use it and enjoy it Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard earned capital. Enjoy the present moment. The sand in the clock may run out at any moment. 2. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their way. 3. Keep a healthy life with moderate exercise, eat well and get your sleep It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. Keep in touch with your doctor, get tested even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed. 4. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then. Enjoy it together. 5. Don’t stress over the little things You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down or the future frighten you. 6. Regardless of age, always keep love alive Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbour, your surroundings, your country. We are never old as long as we have intelligence and affection. 7. Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber. Do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist. Keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong on the inside. 8. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age Keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing sillier than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are. 41

9. Read newspapers, watch the news Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active e-mail account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised which old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age. 10. Respect the younger generation and their opinions They may not have the same viewpoints as ours, but they are the future and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them of yesterday’s wisdom that still applies today. 11. Never use the phrase: “In my time”. Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time. You have been younger, but you are still you now, having fun and enjoying life. 12. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly Life is too short to waste your days in the latter mode. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around. 13. Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children/grandchildren That is if you have a financial choice. Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your partner (our deepest condolences), then find a person to move in with you and help out only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone. 14. Don’t abandon your hobbies If you don’t have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf or bowls. You can paint, volunteer or collect certain items. Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it. 15. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to accept invitations Baptisms, graduations, birthdays, weddings and conferences. Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). But don’t get upset when you’re not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a field. Get out there. 16. Be a conversationalist Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of reducing the desire to speak with 42

you. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints. Always find some good things to say as well. 17. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be. 18. If you’ve been offended by others, forgive them. If you’ve offended someone – apologize. Don’t drag resentment around with you. It will make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said, “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive and move on with your life. 19. If you have a strong belief, savour it But don’t waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Live your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them. 20. Laugh Laugh a lot. Laugh at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life. But you did. So what’s not to laugh about? Find the humour in your situation. 21. Take no notice of what others say about you And even less of what they might be thinking. They’ll do it anyway, and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved. Let them talk and don’t worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think. Now is the time to be free, at peace and as happy as you can be! AND REMEMBER: Life is too short to drink cheap wine...! – Thanks to Jem Shorland for this contribution

Our 2016 Fashion Parade

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orrento Bowling Club’s Annual Fashion Parade was held on Tuesday 13 September 2016. The attendance was the best we have had in a number of years and people were 43

excited at the prospect of viewing garments displayed by a fashion retailer we have not used before. Joy Jackson again displayed her wonderful Neutrimetics products and provided a fabulously presented prize for a raffle, the proceeds of which were donated to the day’s fundraising. We thank Joy immensely for this continued support for our efforts. Three raffles were run by the women’s organising committee which contributed very generously to the funds that were raised on this day. The goods for the wine raffle and the magnificent fruit and veg. raffles were kindly donated by several of our lady members – thank you very much to those people for your generosity. People began arriving around 9.30am for morning tea and a chat. The fashion show itself began at 11am with the clothes, provided this year for the first time, by K’Sara Fashions which are located in the Duncraig Shopping Centre on Marri Rd.

Our willing models this year were June Gregory, Sonya McGrady, Margaret Staddle (stage name = Margo), Pauline Marsden and Carmel Hyde. It was great to see the different modelling styles of these ladies and some definitely had earned the status of ‘super model’ by the end of the show. They were dressed in a variety of styles and paraded the items with great finesse and confidence. Kerri Weall from K’Sara donated a $100 store voucher which we awarded as a door prize. This was won by one of Jean Baker’s walking group friends. This generous donation was very much appreciated. When it was time for lunch, everyone lined up for bread rolls and hot soup, being able to choose between a five delicious soups, provided by individual club members who had volunteered their services in this area. 44

A free glass of champagne added to the conviviality of the occasion. The hall was again filled with chatter and laughter before most started to head off home. Others remained to tidy up and, after the work was done, a drink or two was had by those who chose to stay on. A great vote of thanks goes to Wendy and her helpers in the kitchen, who heated soups, put together morning tea, carried plates and cutlery and did dishes. Thank you very much also to the ladies who made the beautiful soups for our lunch – your contributions helped to spread the load for running this event. Thank you to Jan Paniperis who organised and liaised with K’Sara Fashions and found and coordinated the models. Thanks to all the people who supervised raffles. Special thanks to May Leyland who donated the beautiful fruit and veg. basket as a raffle prize. Jan Cook did a magnificent job of putting together the wine basket, as she always does. Thanks must also go to the ladies and Ian Lucas who set up the hall the night before the show – it is never easy pushing tables and chairs around. And a big thank you to all who attended – without you there, this event would not be possible. About $1665 profit has been raised to go into our Club’s coffers – this is the best we have done for a number of years. – Sharon Eggers

“Barbaro Butchers” Opening Day A lovely photo of our Life Members and their spouses – Pip and Brian Lucas, Nelly and Graeme Heard, Ian and Jean Wittber, May and Bill Leyland and Liz and Ian Marshall

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ur 2016 Opening Day 2016 began with beautiful spring sunshine and a fresh breeze, however the forecast was not favourable for the rest of the day. The very successful format for the day’s activities of the last three years was continued, with members meeting at the club for morning tea at 10.30 am, followed by the official proceedings. 45

Our “Barbaro Butchers” Opening Day 18 September 2017

Sharon Eggers, the Women’s Captain receiving the Des Bennett Trophy on behalf of her team

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Judith Skeet showing Councillor Sophie Dwyer how to play croquet

These began with speeches by President John Abercrombie and Tony Krsticevic (MLA for Carine). The official opening address was given by Councillor Russ Fishwick (Councillor for the South Ward and representative for the Mayor Troy Pickard who was unavailable). The symbolic first rolling of a bowl and striking of a croquet mallet were performed by our visiting dignitaries, who are becoming very competitive with each other in this capacity. The customary photo of all attendees was taken on the banks of A green. At lunchtime, Life members and guests were first to be called up for a fabulous repast of salads and cold meats plus dessert which was provided by our wonderful Silver Fern Caterers. A tremendous vote of thanks must go to Trish and Ross Cunningham for serving such beautiful food and so appropriate for those of us who were to play bowls following lunch. The attention to detail and the professionalism of the entire service was as outstanding as it always is. A free glass of champagne or juice was a popular addition to the lunch menu. Towards the end of the meal, the heavens opened up and the rain teemed down for several minutes. We were unsure whether any outdoor activity would be able to take place. However, the downpour was short-lived and with very little delay to the schedule, we went out on the greens. Two games of 11 ends were supposed to be played in the afternoon by 28 mixed teams of men and women who were again playing for the Des Bennett Memorial Trophy which had been won by the Men’s Captain’s side in each of the last three years with very close scores. The Ladies’ Captain, Sharon Eggers, was again hoping for a change in these results. After the first 11 ends had been played, the weather was again looking threatening. So it was decided to play just one game of 15 ends and then call it quits outside for the day. This proved to be a very wise and popular move. A mammoth Sponsors’ raffle with lots of prizes was organised and run by Jan Cook and Brian Self (Mr and Mrs Raffles). This was drawn whilst waiting for the game results. Thanks to Barbaro Butchers, Sorrento Beach Resort, Aero Bowls, 9 Oceans Fish and Chips and Duncraig Physio who provided prizes. At the end of the afternoon, Trevor Orton tallied the results of all of the games and after the first few cards, it appeared that the Men’s Captain’s Side was again going to take the trophy. However, in the end the Women’s Captain’s Side prevailed to win by 9 shots. Players enjoyed the competition in spite of the cold. I would like to say thank you very much to all of you who attended our annual Opening Day. It was so wonderful to see so many of you there to celebrate the start to our new 47

playing season. I also owe special thanks to some people who helped with the organisation of the day – I really appreciated everything that was done to help – no matter how small. • John Abercrombie and the invited dignitaries who contributed in their various ways to the formal opening ceremony with speeches, rolling of bowls and swinging of croquet mallets. • Helen and Jim Ironside who manned the door to check attendance and payment. • Ross and Trish from Silver Fern Catering for providing a beautiful delicious lunch, up to their usual awesome standard and so perfect for this occasion. • Wendy Saul and her helpers who organised the morning tea. • Trevor Orton and the Men’s Match who put out mats and tallied results. • Our Greenkeeper and his helpers who prepared the greens for our use today. Particular mention goes to Alan McFayden who has settled into this role so fantastically and is doing a superb job of managing our 5 grass greens and croquet court. • Neville Odell for acting most professionally as the Club photographer once more • Ian Lucas and the other bar staff for organising the champagne and drinks for lunch and for facilitating payments for today’s event. Also for organising the tables for today as we had a birthday function at the club the night before, so tables could not be put in place until the wee small hours of the morning. And lastly, but by no means least, Pauline Marsden who has been my most valuable right-hand woman again this year. She has organised the visiting dignitaries and life members, fielded a myriad calls and requests from me, helped me with the mammoth task of selecting the teams, allocating rinks and writing all the cards and countless other small but necessary jobs. Thank you so much, Pauline. We make a great team. I hope I have not forgotten someone without whose help something would not have worked on this day. In case I have, to them, I say thank you and sorry for not remembering who you are. I would like to wish everyone a wonderfully enjoyable, fulfilling and successful bowling season which is now under way and look forward to seeing all of you at the club often. – Sharon Eggers

Tribute to Brian Joy – 1933-2016

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e were saddened by the passing of Brian Joy in August 2016, Brian was a memorable and respected member of our Club. Joining Sorrento in 1998, he was quick to become involved in Pennants and become an active member and regular supporter of social bowls. 48 Twilight bowls was one of the favourite events that he enjoyed up until the

time when sadly his wife Kath became ill. Brian had many tough competitions against Skippers like the late Martie Angelo, always striving to win the game and get the spoils, giving nothing away. One of his favourite shots was his powerful “hit the head” upshot. Brian was always willing to lend a hand around our Club. Keith Cooper recalls Brian regularly helping out with the erection of shade cloth uprights and John Godfrey remembers the many years that Brian applied his skills to repair greens and other equipment. A debt of gratitude goes to Brian for his time with the Club and the major contribution that he made. Brian and Kath loved travelling around WA. If you needed to find a good spot for a picnic all you had to do was ask Brian. He once took some visitors to Perth for a day trip to Wave Rock in Hyden - an eight hour round trip. Our heartfelt condolences go to his family. – Brian Lucas

Our Volunteers

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ur volunteers have been busy over the last few months. Some interesting statistics extracted from the records show that in the period March to October 2016 volunteers have spent 130 volunteer hours with social groups who have hired our facilities to play bowls. Most of this time has been in the evenings under floodlights and often our volunteers are still on the greens at 10 pm. In addition our “Garden and Greens” volunteers have worked for 507 volunteer hours in this same period. Our sandwich makers for Men’s Pennants on a Thursday and a Saturday are putting in around 11 volunteer hours on each day. There are also numerous other members doing other jobs at our Club. Many thanks to you all for all your help. – Ken Giles: Volunteer Co-ordinator

Our Thumbs Up Club

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ur Club manages to do a lot of tasks that requires members to stand up and assist. The “Thumbs Up Club” has a band of regulars that turn up most weeks to maintain gardens and assist the greenkeeper where possible. Regular members are Bill Long, Bob Jeffs, Denis Crocker, Roger Haber, Tony Bourne, Robyn Rowe, Colin Bangs and Kevin Cook. They are ably supported by specialists who regularly fix things like new ramps, checking roofing, welding, plinth repairs, fitting entry frame to front door, fixing 49

Guess Who? Do you recognise this man? There is a bottle of wine for the first person who tells Brian Self the name of this handsome bowler

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cane chairs etc. Amongst those people are Brian Collins, Brian Saul, John Sturk, Peter Balcombe, Warren Elliott, George Sjepcevich, and Al Walton. Recently we needed to fit the shade cloths and by asking the Match Committee to announce ‘a need’ 16 people turned up to help. This enabled us to fit all the shade cloths and the sail cloths as well. Bill Long took over from Alan Wood to supervise this project and with Keith Cooper, Derry Ellis and Denis Crocker arranging the sail cloth side of things it flowed smoothly. To all those people who assisted “a big thanks to you”. – Kevin Cook

No “Orton-ary” Member

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ust as NASA wouldn’t have reached the moon without the massive input of German rocket scientist Wernher von Braun, nor could Sorrento hope to successfully launch a bowling season without the expertise of Trevor Orton. While organising and running bowling tournaments may not be as exciting as sending astronauts into space, it’s a fact that such events wouldn’t run as smoothly at Sorrento without our down-to-earth Trevor in charge. But then his credentials for the accuracy-demanding position of events co-ordinator are impeccable with a self-confessed admission of “being interested in people” being coupled with a high level of spread sheet skills. Those attributes come from a deep passion for a variety of sports and vital behind the scenes experience with big and no nonsense companies such as Shell and Woodside. But all that was worlds away for Trevor as he kicked around during his early years in Norseman, where he was born in 1954. He remembers as a ten year old peering through the fence of the Norseman swimming pool and at the people following their passion at the adjoining bowling club. Little did he realise that many years later he would become deeply involved at many levels in that very sport. It was a close-knit community at Norseman in those days with Trevor’s eventual sisterin-law, Glenda, teaching him at kindergarten. Trevor met Anne Godfrey in Norseman, not long after she arrived from England with her family, when they were both teenagers and they will next year celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. Trevor left 51 school at the age of 15 and followed his dad into Central Norseman Gold

as one of the company’s 270 employees. He quickly found his way into the pay office and became adept at handing out cash envelopes, which undoubtedly were in healthier condition than the ones he distributes to event winners at Sorrento. At about the same time the finger of fate pointed Trevor in the direction of a 40-year journey. When an umpire failed to turn up at his sister’s netball match, Trevor was handed a whistle and told to assist by blowing it whenever the ball went out of bounds. The experience made a serious impression on Trevor and he quickly got involved in basketball which was launched in Norseman by the principal of the town’s junior high school, Arthur Richards. It was the same Arthur Richards who went on to be a Lancaster bomber pilot in WWII and until recently played bowls as a Skipper with Sorrento, aged 90 plus. Trevor not only played basketball, he became a referee, the culmination of which was being awarded life membership of the Basketball Referees Association. After a couple of years of working in Norseman, during which time golf and tennis also attracted his attention, Trevor moved to Perth where he took a job at Carols book store in Hay Street. A whiff of the big smoke led to the discovery of overseas travel and Greyhound bus trips around America plus 1500 kms cycling around England until it got too cold. Trevor joined Shell for a 21-year stint in the purchasing department, being on call 24 hours a day in case of emergency requirements. Early during that period Trevor and Anne were married and have two sons Robin and Cameron. Trevor also spent 10 years as a mature age student and obtained a Bachelor of Arts degree at Edith Cowan University. When Shell began trimming staff Trevor joined Woodside and to this day works three days a week as a computer systems operator. More than three decades after his first visual encounter with bowls at Norseman, Trevor, quite by accident, got seriously involved with the sport in 1998 at Sorrento. On dropping his son Robin off at tennis, Trevor noticed a big banner on the adjoining Sorrento Bowling Club fence advertising an Open Day. He took up the offer and after a few coaching lessons from Fred Stimpson, was on his way. 52

It didn’t take Trevor, with his back room skills, long to find his way onto our Match Committee and ultimately the role of Events Co-ordinator. In that incredibly precise job Trevor organises and oversees tournaments ranging from State and Country Week events, plus a multitude of Club championship and social events right down to the popular “Father and Son” evening. A high degree of accuracy is required and in what he describes as a “balancing act” Trevor firstly has to write up the cards then sort out and deal with problems caused by people who can’t add up, put scores back to front and even forget to hand in their cards. Those who simply take things for granted when they turn up to play in any tournament, big or small, at Sorrento should never forget their day is made possible by the pivotal role Trevor plays in Mission Control. – Jim Woodward

Last Will and Testament

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was sitting at the computer the other day, drafting my will, and I called out to my wife, “WHEN I DIE, I’M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU, MY LOVE!”

She shouted back, “YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY BASTARD.”

– Ian Wittber

Darts Club Report

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e would like to thank all the Bowling Club and Darts Club members for supporting the Darts Club raffle throughout the year. The Darts Club this year donated a new large TV for the main bar area and replaced the old TV in the lounge area.

The 2015/2016 Annual Darts Wind Up Dinner and Trophy Presentation was held on Sunday 13 November. The following special guests attended this function: Life Members David Wallace and his wife Margaret, Keith Cooper and his wife Margaret, Brian Lucas and his wife Pip, and my wife Shelley Gray. I would again like to thank Ross and Trish from Silver Fern Catering for a great feed and Kishore Dudhia from Wendy’s who supplied the ice cream. 53

Our Darts Club has operated for over thirty years and is a very successful Club. This doesn’t happen by accident and requires the service of a number of dedicated committee members, delegates and team managers. For example:

• Brian Lucas who has been with the Club in many capacities over many years and is • • • • •

our current Treasurer and puts many hours into the club. Tony Jones who is the Club Secretary. Ian Marshall who is the Club recorder and has taken on board the task of arranging the darts away bus trip. Bruce Cross, Kishore Dudhia and Tim Best who are the club delegates to the Sports and Bowling Club Darts Association. Phil Webb and Ian Marshall who are delegates to the Blue Water Darts Association. Last but by no means least are Keith and Margaret Cooper who work tirelessly selling raffle tickets through out the year.

The Darts Club 2015/2016 season was very successful and I believe the competition was enjoyed by all. We had two teams entered in the Sports and Bowling Club Association with both teams making the first semi finals unfortunately both lost but put up a very good fight with 2nd division losing 5-6 and 3rd division losing 4-6. We had three teams entered into the Bluewater competition with our A Grade winning the flag. The following announcements were made: • We are planning a darts Sunday function early in the new year to start off the winter season and celebrate the end of summer season. Unfortunately this did not eventuate last year but we will ensure it does this year • The Dart Club AGM to be held on Thursday 16 February 2017. • The date for the Darts trip will be announced in the new year when arrangements can be confirmed. The following presentations were made Bluewater Darts Association Pairs Winner Brent Marshall with his partner Ged Woodcock from Marmion Angling Club. Bluewater Darts Association A Grade winners Tony Kay, Phil Webb, Doug Lorencs, Juris Lorencs, Brian Lucas, Brian Collins (Capt), Glenn Holman, Gary Rogers and Wayne Gray. 180’S Scored Bluewater Competition -Glenn Holman -Phil Webb -Tony Kay 54

Members enjoying the Annual Darts Lunch

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180’S Scored Bowling Club Competition -Jason Higgins -Les Spinks Club event trophies. • Singles champion • Singles runner-up • Doubles champions • Doubles runners-up • Doubles plate winners • Doubles plate runners-up

Tony Kay Gary Rogers Tony Kay and Kevin Cook Gary rogers and Harry Dudhia Juris Lorencs and Mark Johnson Cameron Best and Wayne Gray

Bluewater Association • A grade Highest average • A grade Most pegs • A grade Highest peg Highest average • B grade Most pegs • B grade Highest peg • B grade Highest average • C grade Most pegs – • C grade Highest peg • C grade

Tony Kay Phil Webb Gary Rogers Lochlan Best Tim and Lochlan Best Darren Stevens Kevin Cook Kevin Cook Kevin Cook

(64.24) (41) (116) (46.95) (31) (105) (38.83) (20) (116)

Sports and Bowling Club Association • 2nd div Highest average Les Spinks (52.93) • 2nd div Most pegs Les Spinks (32) • 2nd div Highest peg Dave Maunders (102) • 3rd div Highest average Divindra Chavada (52.53) • 3rd div Most pegs Divindra Chavada (25) • 3rd div Highest peg Bruce Cross (104) I would again like to thank all the trophy winners and those that attended the presentations and wish our summer competition teams all the best for the season – Wayne Gray

Breaking News

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orrento has secured two City of Joondalup grants. The first is for $17 850 to conduct the Feasibility Study for the construction of an undercover synthetic facility on EGreen and secondly $5 709 for the Croquet Club to conduct the “Making the Most of Mallet Sports” promotional project. More details in the next newsletter. 56

Travelling overseas or interstate? Whether it is by air, sea or land, Club sponsor Helloworld Balcatta (Northlands) asks that you give them the opportunity of presenting options and costings which quite often is of better value to what you find on the internet. Plus you will be supporting your Club sponsor and a local business – Rod Garnaut Managing Director Call Rod, Lyn Suzee or Lew on 08 9345 2033 or e-mail northlands@helloworld.com.au for all your travel needs.

The Alive Medispa mission is to ensure that everyone who visits Alive Medispa leaves looking and feeling even more fabulous than when they first arrived. We want every client to feel valued and confidant they are receiving the very best care from some of Perth best paramedical therapists. Our staff are trained to the highest international standards and continue to receive ongoing training to ensure they are up-to-date with the latest treatments and techniques used globally. At Alive we do everything from basic beauty needs to highly advanced facial and body treatments. 57

Letters to the Editor – “Have Your Say” HOW TO DE-MOTIVATE YOUR TEAM

Why do some Skippers have to be so grumpy and critical about their team’s efforts? In a recent closely contested game Pennant game a Skipper made the following comments during the game:

• “They can do it – why can’t we?” • “I don’t care who does it but can someone get one f...ing close”

• “You’re flicking” (this was followed by a demo by the Skipper of how to bowl)

• “Are you playing for them or for us?”

• “You’re easing off, guys, don’t you want to win?”

• “It would be nice if you could draw one within two meters”

• “What part of don’t be short did you not understand?”

THANK YOU SORRENTO Gill and I would just like to thank everyone involved with making the function we held at the club last night a resounding success. From the start where we had to change the date of the function everyone we dealt with were excellent. We mainly dealt with Ian who was extremely helpful along with Elizabeth behind the bar. Nothing was a problem and they worked with us in every way possible. We put up some LED lighting that Ian was happy with and we would like to donate them to the club. We were going to leave them up but sorry Ian, Bill and Trish got there first and had them down before I arrived. Never the less we left them there for you to use as required. Your Club members were also very friendly and encouraging as we decorated the hall with many encouraging us to join up and join them on the greens. This is something that we will definitely consider in the future. Again thank you for the use of your facilities and we will certainly recommend the venue to our friends and have no hesitation in re booking. Thanks for everything, Graham and Gill

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Sorrento Wins Friendship Prize For the First time in Kalgoorlie we Failed to win a game. Fun we had lots of! First prize we won. For Friendship! – Monique, Larraine, Jan and Carole

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The Famous “Sorrento Sea Breeze”

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hen bowlers are told that their next game is at the Sorrento Bowling Club their first thoughts are “Will I be able to handle the Sorrento wind? ” If you can’t here are some excuses for you to use for bad bowls from visitors (and members) when the wind blows e.g. • The wind dropped • The wind made my bowl veer • The wind made my bowl hang out • The wind funnelling through the windsock diverted my bowl as it slowed down • The wind got stronger/weaker • The wind sock was missing • My bowls don’t like the wind My mate Skew Wiff wrote the clever and delightful poem “Passing Wind” especially for our newsletter. Thanks Grahame! – Neville Odell

“Passing Wind” I pleaded with my Skipper, “I know that I have sinned!, It’s not my fault we lost today, The trouble was the wind!”. It wasn’t just a soft Sea-Breeze, That Sorrento had today, It blew a Flamin’ Hurricane – (Which caused my bowls to stray). My hat blew off – I couldn’t see , The dust was in my eyes, The Flags were flapping madly, The tide was on the rise. I couldn’t hear instructions, The wind roared ‘cross the Green, But I had my brand new set of Bowls, (The best you’ve ever seen), The Skipper called “Allow for Wind!” With one arm in the air, He pointed to the Kitty, And gave a pleading stare. I played the shot with all my might, With lovely ‘follow through’, Allowing for the ‘breeze’ a bit, As all good Bowlers do. My Skipper should be proud of me, For I’d played the ‘Perfect Draw’, Yes! I ‘drew’ the Shot – I really did! On the Rink quite Close – NEXT DOOR! – Grahame “Skew Wiff” Watt

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The “Fremantle Doctor” gets the blame!

New Sponsor on Board

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e all know our long-term member and staunch volunteer Gavan Ebsworth - but you may not know that his son Darren has become our latest sponsor – A&O Pest Management Services. A&O Pest Management Services started back in 2005 servicing the residential, commercial and real estate sectors. The business prides itself on good old fashioned customer service, reliability, value for money and only using genuine chemicals - none of those cheap generic products. A&O Pest Management Services will get rid of all of your pests, be they ants, cockroaches, spiders, millipedes, rodents, bees and wasps or termites, but unfortunately not some of the regular pests you see around the Club from time to time. Darren’s business has a full Western Australian pest control license and is qualified to fix all of your pest problems. They are fully insured and licensed and registered with the Western Australian Health Department. It’s comforting to know that our members have a trusted sponsor who will never become a pest. – Brian Lucas

Answers to Bowls Umpire’s Corner Quiz

1. The end shall be declared dead and replayed with a replacement jack. (Law 30.2) Someone suggested you measure to the largest piece of the jack but this is wrong. 2. An opposing player must replace the mat in its original position. (Law 6.2.4)

Answers to “Rules of Golf Croquet” 1. No, the ball rolled back into the jaws of the hoop before its previous “stopped” position had been agreed to by the players. It must, therefore, remain in the jaws of the hoop and the hoop is not yet scored. 2. The player is allowed to take an extra turn, but the balls must be replaced to their positions before the striking fault was committed. Rule 13 (b)(1) does not apply in these circumstances. 3. The player of the Blue ball is entitled to move the Black ball, as it remains an outside agency until it is played back into the court. No fault has been committed by the player of Blue.

Answers to Father Christmas Quiz

1. Santa, North Pole 9999. 2.Mrs Claus. 3. Nine. 4. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitzen and of course Rudolph – “The red nosed one” 61

George (left) and Rob (right) of the Glengarry TAB have again generously agreed to sponsor the Sorrento Bowling Club for the 2016/2017 season. Thanks fellas! When redeeming your tickets, please make yourself known to George and Rob, spend your free voucher, maybe have a small additional wager yourself (which would be appreciated by our sponsors) and good luck!

Thanks to Carmel Hyde for sending in the photo along side. The King Meadows Bowls Club in Tasmania put it on their Facebook page when they were raising funds. They called it their “new uniform�. 62

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