Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 54 December 2013

Sorrento Bowling Club Christmas Newsletter The “Sorrento Christmas Calendar Girls” wish you all “A great Christmas and a happy New Year

Number 54 December 2013

Our Calendar Girls in Action

January

April

February

May

March

June

August July

October

September

November

December

Contents Our Calendar Girls in Action 2013 Opening Day 2013 Opening Day Blessing Some Opening Day Photos Some Notes from Your Editor – Neville Odell President’s Report Deputy President’s Report Volunteers at work around our Club Some more photos from around our Club Croquet Report Men’s Captain’s Report Greens and Grounds Report Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah’s Ark Final Safeway Security Screens Dash for Cash Match Committee The Ladies 100 Up Sell, Swop, Save!

Sorrento Ladies Kalgoorlie Carnival Fours Trip Overheard on the Green The Philosophy Of Ambiguity Divorce Pairs –September 2103 Why do Men get it Wrong?

Men’s Selector’s Report Ladies Selector’s Report Darts Report Some More “Hot Hints from Heardie” Sunday Morning Mixed Scroungers 2013 Ladies Fashion Parade Women’s Over 60’s State Singles Shrek of Sorrento Lady Delegates Report – October 2013 Theatre Seats for Seniors Some useful advice for your Skipper and his likely response Christmas Competition – Identify these bowls and win a hamper Australian Under 18 Championships Sorrento Bowling Club at its best to welcome our visitors Moira’s “Christmas and Bowls” Crossword Melbourne Cup Day 2013

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If you need to contact the Sorrento Bowling Club please call 94470696 or e-mail us on sorrentobowlingclub@amnet.net.au or go to our website.

2013 Opening Day

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he weather prior to our annual Opening Day was awful and the forecast for the actual day was not that great, but Sunday 15th September 2013 dawned sunny and mild.

There was a terrific turn up of attendees to witness the official opening ceremony which included a brief address by club president Barry Bradshaw, a witty and encouraging speech by the mayor Troy Pickard, some words of thanks and good wishes from the state member for Carine Tony Krsticevic and a short communication from councillor Russ Fishwick (who needed the aid of a walking stick due to a skateboard accident).

These were followed by a very humorous tale and then the blessing of the greens, given by our resident pastor Bruce Eagles. The assembled masses then moved out to E green where the Mayor and Tony Krsticevic each rolled a bowl and Russ Fishwick struck a croquet ball with a mallet to officially open the season. The annual Opening Day photo was then taken (not that anyone can ever tell who is who in the final product) before everyone adjourned indoors for lunch.

A delicious lunch of roast vegetables, pork and beef plus champagne, wine and beer helped to fill the stomach’s of all just prior to the commencement of the afternoon’s bowling.

The format for the Opening Day activities was changed this year with the ceremony and lunch taking place before any bowling. It had been decided that the previous men versus women format was unfair, uncompetitive and lop-sided for the most part, also that two games of 18 or 21 ends was too long a day.

So two games of 11 ends to be played consecutively with a short break between, was deemed to be a format worth trying. This year’s teams were mixed – mostly 2 men and 2 women – and it was organised that teams of similar ability would play each other in both rounds. This proved to be very successful, as indicated by competitive scores and much laughter ringing out across the greens. Players commented that they really enjoyed themselves and approved of the new formats all round.

A new trophy was purchased in honour of the new configuration for 2013 Opening Day. This was named the Des Bennett Memorial Trophy after one of our favourite, hard-working members who passed away recently. Approval for this naming was sort from Des’ wife who was thrilled at the concept and was sorry she could not attend to

2013 Opening Day Blessing Loving God, Creator of all things and sustainer of life.

We thank you for this our Club and all it means to us as members.

We appreciate the gifts, talents and skills of those who offer leadership and give direction for the future.

We’re grateful for this great place to which we belong.

On this our “Opening Day” we seek your blessing on every person and family who calls this club their own.

We ask your blessing upon families who have lost a loved one in recent times and ask you to comfort them.

We pray that you will bless our teams this year with success and ask you to bless our greens and those who care and nurture them on a daily basis.

This blessing we ask with sincere gratitude in our hearts.

–Amen

see the trophy presented for the first time.

The competition on the bowling greens was fierce, vigorous and often hilarious. Each of the teams was playing either for the Ladies’ Captain’s Side or the Men’s Captain’s Side as the tradition has always been that the men’s and ladies’ captains must play in teams against each other. The final result was incredibly close – unlike past years – with the Men’s Captain’s Side narrowly gaining the inaugural win of the Des Bennett Memorial Trophy by 303 points to 300.

Note from your Editor: For the mathematically challenged this represents a 1% difference!

Well done to Sharon and ABBA for getting the teams so well balanced!

The Ladies’ Captain Sharon Eggers made the presentation to the Men’s Captain John Abercrombie, claiming that the trophy would go to the other side next year.

A fantastic time was had by all at this fun event which celebrated the beginning to our 2013 – 2014 bowling and croquet season. All the best wishes for a successful, enjoyable and fun-filled season go to you all from the Bowls Captains. Good luck, everyone.

– Sharon Eggers and John Abercrombie

Left to right: Tony Krsticevic putting down a bowl, Troy Pickard limbering up and Russ Fishwick trying his hand at croquet

Some Opening Day Photos Our President, Barry Bradshaw, welcoming our guests and members

The Croquet ladies welcoming our VIP’s

John Abercrombie and Sharon Eggers, the Men’s and Ladies Captains with the new Des Bennett Memorial Trophy

Some Notes from Your Editor – Neville Odell If you would like to comment or contribute to our newsletter please contact Denise or Neville on 93093108 or at nevodell@bigpond.net.au

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elcome to our December 2013 Christmas newsletter! We wish all our readers a very happy Christmas and a successful New Year playing bowls, croquet, darts, cards etc.

First of all some news about our dear friend Ray Dunn. He has been moved to a Rehabilitation Centre and is making good progress. The occupational therapy is helping and each week there is an improvement. He always wants to know who is in each Pennant team and shows a keen interest in who has won or lost. The photo alongside was taken when our youngest member, Kale Armstrong, age 15, and our oldest member Ray Dunn, age 88, played in the same game.

Did you hear that new members John and Wendy Wright celebrated their Golden wedding anniversary by renewing their vows at St. Andrew’s Cathedral in Singapore? John said that over the years, Wendy’s knuckles had swollen due to arthritis, and this caused a problem with her wedding ring. It was decided that it would be advisable to have it cut off (the ring, not her finger). Subsequently, it was made a little larger They then decided that it would be good to have the re-made ring blessed on this special occasion Forty friends, including their neighbours, John and Coral Smith, joined a celebration party on their return. Wendy and John told your Editor that “the key to a long and successful union was laughter and love”.

Did you know that Tiger Hogan’s 102 year old mother was eleven months old when the Titanic sank?

Did you hear Abba’s instructions for roll-ups prior to the start of the Opening Day’s bowls competition? We were told there would be “ONE ROLL-UP – UP AND BACK!” Some of our members are still trying to work out which end they were supposed to start from and where they were supposed to finish. It doesn’t take much to confuse our members!!!

Did you hear that on a sunny Gala Day “our” Coral was a bit embarrassed and turned

a shade of pink when an opposition player remarked on “her lovely blue eyes”?

Did you know that Graeme Heard chased a mouse around his house with a golf club in hand.? Nelly says the mouse survived.

Did you know that if you lose or have your mobile phone stolen, you can prevent anyone using your handset if you contact your service provider when you cancel the account and give them the IMEI number for the phone? Write it down before you lose the phone. The IMEI number is different on every handset. To find this number key in *#06# on your phone keyboard and have a pen and paper handy, because a long number will display. This is your phone’s IMEI number. Thanks to Trevor Orton for this useful tip’

Some more “Did you hear?”

Did you know that Squirrels always swim on their backs so they can keep their nuts dry? Thanks to Alan Wood for this useful bit of information.

Did you know (according to Nelly Heard) that a giraffe can lick its ears with its 45 cm long tongue? Nelly also tells us that turtles can breathe through their bums!

Did you know that when half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation?

Did you know that Ron Rogers has qualified for the Australian Open Singles Championship which will be held in Melbourne in February 2014? Well done Ron. WA have been allocated 16 positions in this event and at the time of writing 11 have been filled.

Did you know that in Australia about 28 million bananas are consumed each week, which represents 13 kg per person a year, the equivalent of 60-70 bananas per person?

(Thanks to Doug Pittaway for this useful information).

Did you know that we have “lost” 24 jacks in the last twelve months!! Please bring them back if you have one at home or in your bowls bag. They cost $29 each to replace!

Did you know that the Boy’s Toys have a special place to park these days, thanks to Tony Pilgrim’s fetish for all things bright and shiny? At least that’s what we think is driving him, because in spite of taking a lot of ‘flack’ from his green keeper mates, Tony soldiered on to install concrete ‘Parking’ pads accurately aligned and specifically spaced apart to allow each motor scooter or motor bike to have a solid surface to stand

upon. “I like to keep the bikers happy and they can decorate them and even put their names on them to express their individuality” Tony said. Could it be a secret desire to be asked to have a ride on one of those super bikes why Tony is keeping the boys happy or perhaps it’s just because he’s such a great guy?

A message from Bryan and Rita Towns end: “It’s good to keep hearing that our old club Sorrento is going well and we wish it all the best in the future and wish every one who remembers me a good new bowling season, a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year At the moment there is no chance that we will be coming over soon as I have a blood circulation problem in my legs and don’t want to risk DVT”.

A number of the men, who enjoyed their games of Pop-sticks and Nominated Triples throughout the winter, have asked that we record a special thank you to Trevor Orton and his Match Committee for organising great bowls every Thursday and Saturday.

A special thank you to Jan Cook who prepared the two lovely hampers for our Christmas Competition prizes. Also to Moira who was the inspiration and Artistic Director for our Christmas Cracker Calendar Girls. Moira also produced the Christmas and Bowls Crossword puzzle and suggested Competition #2 where you can win a hamper if you correctly identify the sixteen bowls featured.

We would also like to thank Mike Berecry, Peter Farrell, Ian Wittber, Alan Wood, Ray Stapledon, Richard Fermoyle, Jem Shorland, Warren Elliott, Ian Marshall, Monique Kopec, Jan Paniperis, John Forkin, Barry Stewart, Nelly Heard and Eleanor Adams for a steady supply of jokes and funny stories for the newsletter.

Many thanks to all our contributors

Unfortunately Denise, our resident censor and arbiter of good taste, has prevented me from publishing some of the submissions,.

Thanks also to Wayne Gray who continues to organise the printing of our newsletter. The Executive Committee and people such as Jim Ironside, Graeme Heard, Trevor Orton, Coral Smith and Helen Ironside also help make the Editor’s life a bit easier with their regular submissions.

Finally! Perhaps the most profound observation I have heard in recent times.

Kath’s hibiscuses starting to flower 10

“Life is like a penis – simple, relaxed and hanging free. It’s women who make it hard.”

– Neville Odell

President’s Report

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he National Under 18’s was a resounding success thanks to the two Ian’s, Wittber and Marshall and a host of volunteers too many to list. Our Club thrives on the work of our volunteers and my thanks go to you all. Our reputation in the world of bowls, particularly with Bowls Australia, was enhanced and our club made a handsome profit.

Thanks to the members that have supported the club training nights organised by Daniel Woodrow and our club coaches. I’m sure that long term the hard work will improve our “Club Culture” and performance on the greens.

I would like to welcome Paul Dennis, our new Bar Manager, to our Club. Paul started working for a beer and wine wholesaler after leaving school. He and his wife bought their own pub in Essex and had that for eleven years. After selling the pub they came to Australia where Paul managed another pub and then worked at the Mt. Henry Tavern for the last five years. The Henry is a large tavern with a sports bar-tab, a lounge bar which hosts live music, a 180 seater restaurant and a busy drive through bottleshop. After five years he has decided it is time to move on and is looking forward to making our club “bigger and better”.

My wife and I extend our best wishes to all our members for the festive season – Barry Bradshaw

Deputy President’s Report

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he new season is under way and we are looking to have great bowling for the Club.

The Club, greens and gardens look terrific and the Club is performing well in all areas – thanks to the Committee and volunteers.

Friday night’s meals are a great success with approximately 100 diners each night and we have gained a lot of new members through this venture. As it gets more into Summer I am looking to use our Summer Terrace tables to dine at with lights on tables etc. If you think this is a good idea please let me know. If you haven’t been to Café Sorrento yet come down for a good evening. Thanks to all members for their support.

Our Tribute night went off very well with 160 people attending. Unfortunately Frank Sinatra had some voice problems but he did come back strongly later in the show.

Special thanks to all the ladies for the wonderful decorating of the social area. New Year’s Eve is not too far away. Book your tables at the Bar - $20 per ticket. Tables are filling up very quickly so we might have to say “No more”.

– Greg Day 11

Volunteers at work around our Club

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Some more photos from around our Club Left: You too can look like a Pixie! Sonia Mc Grady’s getting some protection from the rain during the “Divorce Pairs” Right: Guess who?

Can you identify this glamorous young couple Answer on page 36 Left: Russ Lockwood having the Indian turban tied around his head during his recent visit to India. After this “fitting” he was called “Raj Russ” and was treated like royalty. He was fed delicacies and allowed to be first on the bus and so on.

Gavan Ebsworth checking out our recently acquired Bureau of Meteorology approved thermometer shelter known as a Stevenson Screen.

Special thanks to Bill Long for refurbishing our umpire equipment boards 13

Thanks to Pat and Helen for this photo. Any suggestions for a caption will be most welcome

Croquet Report

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orrento Croquet entered a team in the Pennants C Grade League for the first time in 2012/2013 and won. This year’s competition has just started and the team has been promoted to B Grade – not bad for the second year in the comp.

Croquet took on the first of three sausage sizzle days being run by the Bowling Club at Bunnings in Terry Harvey receiving the August/September. For the number of members C Grade Pennants award on that we have, we had a behalf of Sorrento Croquet good support from our Club from President Merryl members, with 13 turning Garrod. up on the Saturday prior to cut 30 kilos of onions. (Many tears were shed), but a lot of joviality also. Eleven members supported this club fund-raiser on the actual day of the sausage sizzle.

A “Busy Bee” was held in the croquet area, with some weeding, sweeping, SUPERVISING and the list goes on.

There were many bums up in the garden, See if you can identify the person belonging to the bum in the photo???

Platinum Day saw Seniors from around Joondalup come and try Croquet and Bowls. A thank you to all the helpers on the day and Joan and her crew for a lovely afternoon tea.

Sunday 9th November we hosted our annual Ricochet singles Tournament. Six members supported this day. A great day was had, with Peter Hamilton and Trish Klemp being declared the winners for the day.

On Wednesday 13th November Sorrento showed people the skills of Croquet at Have A Go Day. We hope to get some positive feedback from this event. Again the day was supported by many of our members.

Thursday November 19th Croquet begins night play from 6.00pm to 8.00pm for a game of Croquet Golf. We look forward to many members supporting this and for 14

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new members to join also.

Finally a special thank you to Edna Longmuir who donated some flag banners for Croquet – Judith Skeet – Croquet Captain

Men’s Captain’s Report

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ennant season has started with mixed results, still it is early days and hopefully better and more consistent results will not be too far away. Don’t forget Wednesday is practice day. Thank you Coral, Ray, Brian, and the two Graeme’s for giving up their time to assist with Wednesday practise.

Club championships are in progress or coming up. Please refer to your calendar of events for dates of all Men’s and Mixed competitions.

Registration forms for State events are on the “Bowls WA” website. Please register direct if you are looking at entering and representing Sorrento in these events. Our Club Secretary is available to assist with this if required.

Remember: “Form on the Board leads to Success” – ABBA

Greens and Grounds Report

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t is pleasing to see the improved state of all the greens. It is intended to cut “C” and “B” a little closer which will increase the speed of both these greens. “D” will continue to be slower until we feel the shock of lower cutting would not be severe. On Thursday Nov. 7 “A” green was” Dumpie” levelled, sanded and laser levelled. “E” green was sanded. More plugging will be carried out on the East side of “E” to assist the re growth in that area. We are happy with the progress of both “A & E” and are looking forward to the New Year when we believe they will be brought back into use.

When Community and Twilight bowls commence they will be played in an East /west direction. Good bowling .

– Kevin Cook

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah’s Ark ONE: TWO: THREE: FOUR:

FIVE: 16

Don’t miss the boat.

Remember that we are all in the same boat!

Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark .

Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

SIX: SEVEN: EIGHT:

NINE: TEN:

Build your future on high ground.

For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.

Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

When you’re stressed, float awhile.

Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

– Thanks to Jan Paniperis for this contribution

Final Safeway Security Screens Dash for Cash

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espite some uncertainty weather-wise before play started, all games were completed to the relief of the organisers.

Winners of the day were a home team of Tom Nasuti, Rob Toser, Barry Stewart and Lindsay Baker. They were the only team to win all four of the games. Second place overall went to Juris Lorencs (from Yokine), Mick Martin, Elliott Taylor and Terry Needs who had three wins and a draw. They narrowly pipped Barry Bradshaw, Bruce Eagles, Russ Lockwood and Col Cramond who had three wins.

Winners of the round prizes were: 1st Round: Colin Campbell, Tony Sabatino, Graeme Heard and Ross Cunningham 2nd Round: John Sanders, John Collishaw, Warren Elliott and Neville Odell 3rd Round: Bob Mulroy, D Irving, W Woolbridge and Brian Hoad 4th Round: Bert Straw (from Quinns), B.Tiche, B Little and T Hinds Did you hear that one of the Skippers (who has not been named but is indeed a retired sea-faring Skipper) found that “8’s” at lawn bowls are not of the same value as the pieces of eight mentioned in some seafaring stories!

Finally thanks to our sponsors, Safeway and again thanks to our ladies for once again providing morning coffee and lunches for the players 17

– Ray Stapledon and Trevor Orton

Above: One parttime/semi-retired Accountant, one retired Accountant and a retired Bank Manager making sure all the scores balanced at the end of the day!

Match Committee

The Winners

Mixed Fours Championship Eighteen teams entered this year’s Mixed Fours Championship, and it was pleasing to see some new faces amongst the more familiar ones this year. All teams played in the first time slot on Sunday 13th October, under cool and breezy conditions.

After the second, slightly warmer day, the finalists were decided. Graeme and Nelly Heard with Shelley and Bob Jeffs came up against Ron and Helen Kuziela, playing with Ken and Lee Leach in one major semi-final.

The Runner’s Up

The Plate Winners

The Plate Runner’s Up

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In the other, Marty Angelo skipped Russ Lockwood, Monique Kopec and Carmel Hyde against Brian and Wendy Saul playing with John and Coral Smith. The Kuziela and the Angelo teams won through to the final, with the Kuziela team ultimately victorious.

The plate final was won by Brian Clausen, Eleanor Adams, Lorna Glew and Brad Williams who defeated Jim and Helen Ironside, Ron Taylor and Betty Stern. All matches were played in great spirit, and thanks to all who participated.

Twilight Pairs Competition.

By the time you read this we will have started the Twilight Pairs competition. Twilight Pairs is played on a Tuesday evening starting at 4:30pm. Any combination is welcome to play in this 2-4-2, 14 end format. The number of teams is limited to the number of rinks available, so if you are intending to play, get your names on the list well before each Tuesday.

Men’s Triples The Men’s Triples championship starts on Sunday 8th December. Nominations are now open.

Tournament Etiquette Would all members please note that if you place your name on a list to enter a tournament or championship, it is your responsibility to find out when and where you are playing, and to turn up in plenty of time for your first match. You are also required to notify the event organisers - not the office - if for any reason you need to withdraw your entry, or to substitute or replace* a player after the draw for the event is conducted. The draw is customarily conducted and publicised several days prior to the event. [* A substitute player is one who is temporarily taking the place of another in a team, with the original nominee considered to be the team member for any awards ensuing.

A replacement player is one who replaces the original nominee for the whole event].

The mixed pairs championship which started recently was blighted by two teams withdrawing prior to the event, and on the morning of the event an additional team failed to turn up. This caused considerable inconvenience to a number of other teams competing, and to the event organisers. The penalty for failing to adhere to the above conditions could be that future nominations for events may be refused.

Advance Notice – Mixed Handicap Event Ray Green of Trevor’s Carpets has once again generously donated prize money to the club to conduct a mixed handicap event. Due to Ray’s limited availability, this event has been scheduled for Sunday, February 16th 2014. The respective men’s and women’s match committees are already planning this event in consultation with Ray. This day is also the day of the men’s and women’s singles finals. Alternate arrangements to allow both events to be held concurrently are still to be worked out.

The basic rules will be similar to the event run by the men earlier this year, with bowlers allotted a handicap points score according to their primary pennant division (Tuesday for women, Saturday for men). A division one man or woman will be worth 5 points, down to a division 5 or social bowler assigned 1 point. No team can total more than 12 handicap points.

At least one woman must be in each team. No more than one division 1 man can be in any team. This will be an all day event. Keep this day in your diary, and hope for nice weather. Lists for interested players and other details of the event to follow after Christmas. An enormous thanks once again to Ray for his extraordinary generosity.

AND A FUNNY (Well I laughed anyway). Asked about his secret to success, Roger H Lincoln said, “There are two rules for success – (1) Never tell all you know.”

- Trevor Orton 19

The Ladies 100 Up

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he Sorrento Ladies 100 up competition has proven once again to be a very popular event with the ladies. It always provides a great start to the bowling year and this year 32 ladies registered to play (very pleasing for the organisers).

Day one saw the start of play delayed for nearly an hour with other minor interruptions due to rain throughout the morning. The afternoon provided fine weather but time only allowed for two games to be completed.

Day two provided us with early rain again but it soon became fine with windy and overcast conditions from the southwest at times. This enabled three rounds of competition to be played including the finals. The winners of the Major semi finals were Liz Marshall and Sharon Eggers with Wendy Saul and Eleanor Adams going through to the final of the Plate.

The Major final was a hard fought match from the beginning to the end. By end 13 both Liz and Sharon had equal scores of 65 each.

This was an exciting match for the spectators to watch with the scores at end 20 even again on 100 each.

One more end had to be played with Liz drawing a magnificent bowl just 3 inches from the Jack (4 points). Not to be outdone, Sharon responded with 2nd, 3rd and 4th shots (6 points) to give her the match. What a fantastic finish to a final.

Congratulations go to both Sharon and Liz for their performances in this game but there can only be one winner and this year it was Sharon. Well done and congratulations go to Sharon.

Wendy Saul and Eleanor Adams contested the Plate.

Wendy displayed some terrific bowls as did Eleanor but in the end Wendy went on and won this event.

Congratulations go to Wendy for winning the Plate.

Eleanor, a great effort on your part to qualify for the final of the Plate.

The Ladies Match Committee would also like to thank the Umpires and Markers who willingly gave of their time for this event. – Helen Ironside 20

Sell, Swop, Save!

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lease note that any members who would like to publicise or advertise their services or sell goods all they need to do is to e-mail your Editor and you will get some free publicity in the next newsletter. So if you have some bowls for sale or you provide a service please let me know. In this edition you will see that if you need: • a gardening service – contact Greg Day from Seven Day Gardening • security screens – contact Barry Bradshaw of Safeway Securities • a carpet cleaned – contact Mick Martin from Mike’s Carpet Cleaning Service • a naturopath/ herbalist – contact Allison Waldock • new carpets – contact Ray Green’s daughter Nicki at Trevor’s Carpets • help with your income tax – contact Dion Smith • a designer gift basket – contact Peter Snow’s daughter-in-law at Beyond Baskets Gift Store To get our For Sale section off the ground your Editor is selling his Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ50 camera as I recently upgraded to a Canon. If anyone is interested please contact me. It is a good and versatile camera and I am happy to sell it for $100.

– Neville Odell

Sorrento Ladies Kalgoorlie Carnival Fours Trip

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hree teams of four ladies, plus two supporters, “trained” it up to Kalgoorlie on the 4th September to play in the Carnival 4’s competition. There were 26 teams (from all over the State– Exmouth in the North to Scaddan in the South) who competed in the three and a half day competition which was enjoyed by everyone.

The Saturday night in Kalgoorlie was a wet and wild night with the ladies having nothing else to do but watch the Federal Election results whilst having a few wines and nibbles. We were all a little bored as bowls had been cancelled for the day due to the greens being washed out. Some played cards for the day, others watched AFL football and some had a sleep.

Lady Sonia McGrady (wearing her best pyjama evening wear) was seen entertaining June Gregory and Valerie Thornett in her motel unit whilst watching the Election results.

Nelly Heard was unsure as to what to do with her glass of wine in spite of some encouragement from Jean Baker. Jean Middleditch was seen contemplating the Election results with a bottle of red! She was photographed with Clair Hanlon (deep in concentration), June Gregory and Valerie Thornett who also had their eyes glued to the election coverage on TV. – Helen Ironside 21

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Overheard on the Green

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nowy, playing 3rd and under pressure, puts down a wrong bias that just keeps going out and out. Trevor Orton, his Skipper’s, response as they cross over: “The little circle goes on the inside”.

A few ends later Trevor puts down (also under pressure) a similar wrong bias bowl. As they cross over, his response “A gust of wind caught it just as I bowled.”

Two weeks pass and that same Skipper (Trevor) puts down another one of those bowls that bend out. His response this time: “Snowy” called me on the wrong hand.

– Ray Stapledon

The Philosophy Of Ambiguity

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his list is for those members who love the ‘philosophy of ambiguity’, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English: • Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

• One Tequila, two Tequila, three Tequila, floor.

• I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the ‘Self- help’ section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

• What if there were no hypothetical questions?

• Is there another word for synonym?

• What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an

endangered plant?

• Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

• If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

• What was the best thing before sliced bread?

• Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

• How is it possible to have a civil war?

• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

• Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

• Can atheists get insurance against acts of God? – Thanks to Alan Wood for this useful list 23

Divorce Pairs –September 2103

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he morning round of 14 ends was completed successfully, by all 28 teams in spite of inclement weather, after the usual super morning tea arranged by Joan. The morning winners were Clive Webber and Annie Taylor who beat Jean Middleditch and John Warner.

However the afternoon session had to be abandoned after several rain stoppages.

The croquet shelter alongside C-green was the scene of some hilarity with players all crowding in, on and off until the game was called off. Ray Stapledon suggested a quiz question for the newsletter – “How many bowlers can you fit into the Croquet hut?”. A quick count showed 27! There was then some discussion on how many people can be crammed into a Mini Cooper. Well the answer in 28 as per the photo alongside So we just missed out on a Guinness World Record.

All teams were marked after four ends. Stan van Mosseveldt and Coral Smith prevailed 7 to 3 against June Gregory and Phil Billich to win the afternoon game.

Runner up of the day was Brian Saul and Sharon Eggers with a score of 16 points. The overall winning team was Warren Elliott and Anne Lilley with a score of 24 points.

The money sheets were won by numbers 37, 38 and 39!!! (Clive, Wendy and Carmel). A sausage sizzle was well received and ended a pleasant day in spite of the deluge.

Why do Men get it Wrong?

– Sonia McGrady

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man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday. ‘I’d like to be eight again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything 24

there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favourite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being eight again? Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

‘I meant my dress size, you xyz@*#* retard!’

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he’s going to get it wrong!!!

Men’s Selector’s Report

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fter the first three rounds Sorrento has achieved mixed results as expected on the Thursday and Saturday pennants. We entered an extra team on both days to allow new bowlers a game. It has been disappointing for bowlers in the lower division especially 5 Gold on Saturday who have had a forfeit and a bye in the first 3 rounds due to withdrawals from other clubs.

It has been pleasing with the number of new players who have transferred from other clubs who have improved the depth of the club.

It has been a pleasure to have our new bowls manager Daniel Woodrow join the selection panel as part of his role with the club. He is an excellent bowler as already shown by his results and coupled with the enthusiasm and interest he has shown, he has been a welcome addition.

Thursday Pennants: Our only undefeated team is 3 Blue who has achieved 17 out of a possible 18 points.

Undefeated rinks 2 Blue; Brian Self, Col Cramond, Brad Williams and Wayne Gray/ John Sanders; 3 Blue; Bob Mulroy, Barry Bradshaw, Lindsay Baker and Jem Shorland; and also in 3 Blue the rink of Graeme O’Brien, Murray Newman, Herbie Eisenmann/ Alan Partington and Phil Bilich.

Saturday Pennants: Undefeated rinks are in 1 White the rink of Daniel Woodrow, John Brown, Ross Cunningham and Geoff Murray; and in 3 Gold Trevor Orton, Brian Saul, Gavan Ebsworth and Peter Bartlett.

Congratulations to 2 rinks who have achieved an 8 badge, these are in 2 Gold Brian Self, John Collishaw, Alan Partington and John Sanders; and in 3 Blue Bob Mulroy, Ray Stapledon, Jem Shorland and Neville Odell.

– Rob Tozer 25

Ladies Selector’s Report

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he Pennant season has started off well, most divisions have done well. We have tried to even out the teams and put ladies together that will benefit each team the most. Most ladies seem happy with their teams; hopefully we will continue to improve.

Unfortunately we had to take out one of our 4th divisions, because we had ladies away with sickness or away on holidays. It was a difficult decision to make, because we knew we would have some ladies sitting out each week. We would have had to put two men in for the first week of pennants.

If anyone had to pull out for any reason, we had no reserves to put in. The club has now had to pay a financial penalty to Bowls WA to pull that division out and each week it would have cost more if we had not made an immediate decision.

We will do our best to give as many ladies as possible a game, but unfortunately we will have to rotate some ladies. We hope everyone can understand the situation; so far most ladies have been able to appreciate the problem we faced.

– Kath Harris

Darts Report

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he Darts club 2012/2013 season was not as successful overall as it has been in previous years. However the competition was enjoyed by all and the 1st division entered into the bluewater competition finished on top of the ladder and won their grand final. The team members were Tony Kay (Captain), Phil Webb, Mal Gray, Doug Lorencs, Juris Lorencs, Brian Lucas, Wayne Gray, Brian Collins and Rick Munt.

Winners of the Club events where • Singles champion • Singles runner-up • Singles plate winner • Singles plate runner-up • Doubles champions • Doubles runner-ups • Doubles plate winners • Doubles plate runner-ups

Tony Kay Juris Lorencs Doug Lorencs Kishore Dudhia Wayne Gray and Jason Higgins Tony Bourne and Bob Mulroy Divyesh Shuh and Brian Lucas Jan and Kevin Cook

Our Dart club, which has operated for over thirty years, is a very successful club. This doesn’t happen by accident and requires the service of dedicated committee members, delegates and team managers.

This year’s committee was Wayne Gray – President, Brian Lucas – Treasurer, Tony 26

Jones – Club secretary and Kevin Cook – recorder and delegate to the Sports and Bowling Club Darts Association. Phil Webb and Ian Marshall are our delegates to the Blue Water Darts Association.

We would also like to thank Glenn Boston and Ian Marshall for their efforts in organising this years trip to Bruce Rock although unfortunately it had to be postponed due to unavailability of bus. Last but by no means least is Keith and Margaret Cooper who work tirelessly selling raffle tickets and balancing their books thereby providing funds for functions and donations to the Bowling Club.

I would like to mention that the Dart club were not victorious this year in the Annual Bowls versus Darts Competition but I believe it was a good day had by all those that played.

The Dart club AGM will be held on Thursday 13th February 2014

– Wayne Gray

Some More “Hot Hints from Heardie” Do you have a problem with wind?

C

ameron Curtis, a Commonwealth Games Gold Medallist, a former Australian coach and selector has allowed us to publish an edited version of an article he wrote, for The Queensland Bowler. In this informative article he gives advice on “how to tackle a tough head or cross wind on the green”.

“A strong gusty wind, a direct headwind or a crosswind are all supreme challenges in lawn bowls and can be both frustrating and adverse to your game. It’s quite common for such conditions to turn your game into a nightmare as you battle to take command over the sudden and forceful wind changes. We can all picture the scene – bowls flying to all parts of the rink, a good weighted bowl becomes useless because you have totally missed your line, or over-corrected from the last delivery.

So why is it that some top players seem to virtually predict the wind and even on the most challenging days are able to find a consistent line to the jack? In this article I will share with you how I learned to reduce wasted bowls and improve my level of play, in windy conditions, by at least 20%. The most important thing to remember in windy conditions is your state of mind. You need to worry less about the tricky conditions than your opponent. If you can achieve this, and remain positive with your thoughts, you’re more than halfway home.

The reason many club players struggle on gusty windy days is that they are always reacting or correcting after the event with their next bowl. Constant thinking and worrying often leads to over-correcting. Essentially, the more we think, the less natural 27

the execution of a draw, conversion or drive shot becomes, and consequently the worse our overall performance.

Three changes to my game that made a huge positive impact on my success in the wind were: 1. By changing my method of getting my line While using the ‘bank method’ to find an aiming point served me well for many years, I knew there had to be an even better way. Following a coaching session with ‘Kiwi’ legend Peter Belliss, he explained his way of visualizing the track of the bowl by way of a ‘dotted chalk line’ from the jack back to the mat. I could immediately understand and see what he described and from that day spent a few months converting and perfecting the way I selected and adjusted my line.

2. By adjusting my position on the mat In the strongest head or crosswinds, rather than make constant changes or (over) corrections to my aiming point, I subtly adjust my position on the mat. If my previous bowl is slightly narrow, I shift my stance on the mat slightly to the left to deliver my next bowl. Conversely, I move my anchor foot (right foot) to the right-hand side of the mat if I am a little wide and my bowl is hanging out. By doing this I can focus on virtually the same aiming point as my previous bowl, thereby finding that minor correction needed to ‘nail that centre line’.

3. By amending my pre-shot routine Lastly, the change that has most enhanced my game while playing in the wind was an amendment to my pre-shot routine. While many of you check the flags for wind direction prior to each deliver, I’m assuming very few actually think about the intensity of the wind plus direction simultaneously prior to delivering every bowl. Rather than look at the main flagpole or even corner-flags of the green, which can be inaccurate, what was the most important to playing a successful delivery was what was happening on my rink. In a matter of seconds, while I’m visualizing and focusing on my line and the intended path of my bowl to the jack, I consciously feel the wind strength and direction on my face, body and clothing.

By implementing and refining this technique and making it part of my pre-shot routine, I became quite accurate at predicting any minor changes to either wind strength or direction compared to my previous bowl.

Sunday Morning Mixed Scroungers

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fter more than four months Sunday Scroungers reached the finals and wind-up lunch. The finals was played in great spirit. Twelve contestants viz Ron Kuziela, Mike McGeehan, Peter Balcombe, Spider Webb, Dave Bradley, Helen Kuziela, Judy 28

Cha - Ching!! Cha - Ching!! Another fine! The Scrounger’s bowls players enjoying their season’s final party/wind-up. All of the “Scavengers” (sorry “Scroungers”) felt like “Winners” !!!

Peter Balcombe, Spider Webb and Helen Kuziela

Dave Bradley, John Farmer, and Derry Ellis 29

Mike McGeehan, Judy Campbell, and Mick Murray

Ken Vercoe, Ron Kuziela and Neil McLaughlan

Campbell, John Farmer, Neil McLaughlan, Ken Vercoe, Mick Murray and Derry Ellis played in four divisions to bring it down to an exciting semi final with Mike Murray against John Farmer and Ron Kuziela against Peter Balcombe.

Both games were closely contested with Ron and Mike playing off for the finals, which turned out to be a nail biter. Both ended up on equal points and an extra end had to be played where they could only play one bowl each to decide the overall winner.

Mike Murray rolled the kitty and followed up with a bowl that finished about a foot away. Ron Kuziela replied with a good line and reasonable weight but just finished inches short of victory. Well done Mike Murray on a good game of bowls.

Fun was had by all at the wind-up which was funded by numerous fines during the 18 week competition. A big Thanks to Alan Bishop and Judy Campbell for the catering.

On September the 15th Mike Murray represented Sorrento Bowling Club in the Champion of Champions Scroungers held at North Beach. It was a 4 end final between 3 players and with Mike not scoring on the 1st end he did exceptionally well to finish Runner-up.

– Ron and “H” Kuziela

2013 Ladies Fashion Parade

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uesday 24th September was the designated day for the Sorrento Bowling Club’s annual Ladies Fashion Parade. As people arrived to enjoy the festivities, it soon became apparent that there was no electrical power in any part of the club. This meant that there was no hot water, no microphone, no lighting, no computers, no tills behind the bar and no cooling. However, the kitchen’s activities were saved by our large gas stove – thank goodness!!! We were hopeful that power would be restored before very long, but it was out for the entire time. Fortunately everyone was very adaptable and we managed without electricity.

About 130 ladies (some club members and some not), and a few very brave men, came to the club for an event that comprised morning tea, the fashion show and lunch. The water for cups of tea and coffee was provided courtesy of large pots of water boiled on the gas cook top and constantly replenished as the previous ones were emptied. The soups for lunch were kept warm the same way once the water for cuppas was no longer required.

Announcements to the assembled masses 30

– and you can imagine how loud 130 women’s voices were inside the hall area of the clubhouse – were made via loud speaking over the din. When it became very hot in the hall with so many bodies all generating heat, we could cool the room only by opening doors and windows.

The fashion show itself began at 11am with the clothes being ably modelled by Jean Baker, Dianne Phillips, Helen Ironside and Monique Kopec. Karen, the fashion show director, fortunately had a good-sized voice and because the ladies in the audience were keen to hear what she had to say, they were quiet and attentive as she described items of clothing.

The models were dressed in a varied array of styles and paraded the items with great finesse and confidence. Ian Marshall escorted each model from the end of the bar to the beginning of the ‘runway’ section of the hall.

The display of fashions took about an hour, after which people were able to try on garments they had liked and decide upon which items to purchase. The results of several raffles – 5 lucky door prizes, 2 money sheets, a fruit basket and three Nutrimetics cosmetics baskets - were determined.

Then it was time for lunch with everyone lining up for bread rolls and hot soup, being able to choose between pumpkin, pea and ham or vegetable. The hall was again filled with chatter and laughter before most started to head off home. Others remained to tidy up and after the work was done, a drink or two was had by those who chose to stay on.

A great vote of thanks goes to Joan and her helpers in the kitchen, who made coping without power look so easy. Thank you too to the ladies who made the beautiful soups for our lunch. Thanks to May Leyland who donated the beautiful fruit basket as a raffle prize.

Thanks also go to Barbara Spence’s sister Margaret for the donation of the Nutrimetics prizes for her special raffle. Thanks must also go to the ladies who helped with setting up the hall the night before the show – it is never easy pushing tables and chairs around.

Thank you to both Ian Marshall, who assisted the models and Ron Taylor who ran the bar with no electricity to operate the tills. And a big thank you to all who attended – without you there this event would not be possible. About $1300 has again been raised to go into the club’s coffers. Well done, everyone!!!

– Sharon Eggers 31

Women’s Over 60’s State Singles Lee Leach, Coral Smith, Wendy Saul and Pauline Bourne nominated for the Over 60’s State Singles which were held at Midland Morrison Bowling Club in November.

Both Wendy Saul and Coral Smith had a late withdrawal from their sections meaning that they only got to play one game each. Wendy played Kathy Nichols from Bassendean which was a closely fought game, however resulted in loss to Wendy 15 – 21. Coral played Kerry Anderson from Mosman Park which was also closely fought and also resulted in a loss 17 – 21.

Lee Leach played her two games unfortunately going down to Maureen Cooney from Thornlie 12 – 21 and Barbara Lorencs 19 – 21. Pauline Bourne won both her games in the sectional. She played Jan Gibsone from Mosman Park 21 – 4 and Dot Glass from Northam 21 – 8. She then progressed to the quarter final coming up against Maureen Beard from Safety Bay. Pauline started slowly in this game and came back from 6 – 16 down to win 21 – 18.

The semi final was played the following day and Pauline played Renate Cootes from Thornlie. Pauline held Renate to a very even match until Renate scored a 4 which seemed to give her the confidence to play with more aggression. Pauline unfortunately lost the game 8 – 21, however the scoreboard did not reflect the quality of the bowling and I think Pauline was outstanding with the way she played her game.

Well done to all the girls, I think we all agree in saying that we have come away with a bit more experience under our belts.

Shrek of Sorrento

John (Prince Charming) Sanders 32

Alan (Puss in Boots) Partington

John (Donkey ) Collishaw

– Coral Smith

Brian (Shrek) Self

O

n a lovely sunny day, at Sorrento, Shrek and his Boys take on Peter the Wolf and his Yokine Doggies. The Shrek boys were as follows:With the Doggies being late after getting lost on their way to Far Far Away Sorrento, Shrek and his boys decide to make them pay and got out to an Eight-One lead and then Peter the Wolf and his boys got nasty and made Shrek and his boys pay by making sure they got stuck on Eight but when the Doggies got to Eighteen, it was time to for the Shrek Boys to make a move.

After getting three shots and getting to Eleven the Shrek boys were about to take over Far Far Away Sorrento land, with a big move Prince Charming put in two great Bowls and the Doggies could not answer the move putting one short and one long, up steps Puss in Boots and seeing the situation it was out with the sword and down with another two Great Bowls, now Shrek’s Boys are Four up as the Doggies could not answer this move putting in two more Another short bowls.

“Eight Badge” for Sorrento

Now it was Donkeys turn and as most people will know at Far Far Away Sorrento when you are down Donkey will give you a big Kick, sensing the situation Donkey stepped up to the mat and with two mighty kicks put down two great bowls, now Shrek and the boys are Six up as the Doggies could only manage one short and one long.

Now it was all down to Shrek to show the boys that he was going to put the dagger in, with the first bowl it was straight in to the head and Seven up.

By now Peter the Wolf was looking angry and it was looking like he was going to do a Dennis Lillie run up and try and smash everything everywhere but with steam coming from the ears all to no avail a miss still seven up, by now Donkey is jumping up and down so gestures to Shrek “I hope you know we are seven up and you need to put another one in for eight” but Shrek being more astute decided to fool them all and put a “ROBSON” in to completely confuse all present.

By now even Peter the Wolf is confused so picks up this Bowl and down to the head he goes and checks with Chucky from the Bush about what to do and they decided that it was time once again for force but told Chuck he was betting that the “ROBSON” was his concern and he might knock it in for Eight.

Back to the mat he came and with one mighty blow hits all the short bowls and as Shrek knew it was the “ROBSON” that won the day and trickled in for Eight.

18/8 down to 24/18 up.

The next end Shrek and his boys twisted the Dagger even deeper by getting five shots and in three ends went from

Moral33of the Story “Don’t mess with Shrek and the Boys at Far Far Away Sorrento

Lady Delegates Report – October 2013

– Brian Self

• The use of chalk to mark a bowl’s toucher is acceptable – use of spray is not compulsory.

• It was suggested that a survey of Clubs regarding the heat rule be conducted prior to the start of next season.

• In a close vote the proposal to charge green fees for Clubs hosting State events was defeated.

• Bowls WA has obtained sponsorship from APIA for over 60 State events.

• It was proposed that a change be made to the National junior age category from 18 to 25. This will be presented to Bowls Australia for consideration at its October meeting.

• The recent Umpires course was very successful with 27 participants registered at Yokine and 44 at Willeton. Proposed new rules should be finalised by January and introduced for the 2015/16 season.

• There has been a significant decrease in the number of ladies playing Tuesday Pennants this season, with a small increase in Friday/Saturday Pennant numbers.

• Umpires to monitor that players in Bowls WA events, including Pennants, are complying with Bowls Australia attire policy.

• It was suggested that team managers be involved in administering the rules applying to smoking/drinking on the greens. This would relieve pressure on the umpires and also make Clubs more accountable for the conduct of its members.

• Due to the large number of changes to Pennant fixtures post publication, Bowls WA is considering using the fixtures/event portal rather than including in the handbook. A handbook would still be used to publicise rules etc.

• There should be a significant improvement in the publication of ladies bowls results this season.

• Ladies IRRR challenge will be held on 12/13 April 2014 at Sportsmen’s Association.

– Anne Lilley

Theatre Seats for Seniors

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n old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The old man just groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”

Once again, the old man just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old dishevelled man, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police. The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy what’s your name?” “Fred,” the old man moaned.

“Where ya from, Fred?” asked the police officer.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, 34 “The balcony”

Beyond Baskets Gift Store Make a lasting impression with a designer gift from Beyond Baskets; the perfect way to show your appreciation and thanks to your clients, associates, suppliers, employees and friends. We have an array of elegant gifts and offer five star personalised customer service.

Please have a wander through our website: www.beyondbaskets.com.au or call Alison on 0428 717 417 • We showcase gourmet Margaret River produce • We provide gifts with a difference • We have amazing living air plants • We can provide quirky presents and Corporate gifts • We can personalise gifts and even provide a treat for yourself Select your own choice of products from our range and we will make the gift box to your requirements.

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A tricky shot on the Croquet Green

Answer to Guess Who on page 13: Spider Webb and his wife Maureen

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Some useful advice for your Skipper and his likely response

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t is important to give your Skipper useful advice when you and the rest of his team pass him on your way to the head. You can however expect some sort of response from your Skipper!!

Team’s Comments “There’s plenty of room for you to draw !

Skipper’s Response

“Why?”

“We need one close Skipper! You can do it!” “What? Again!!!”

“All our bowls are short. Can you trail the jack forward?”

“What the f@#k!!!”

“Lucky we have a good Skip to save us!”

“Again???”

“Sorry! We’re 6 down!”

“You lot have 6 bowls! I’ve got 2!!!

“You’re 6 down!”

“You lot are 6 down – I haven’t bowled my bowls yet”

“We like to see how you handle pressure, Skip”

“Better than you guys, apparently”

“Watch the forehand side, Skip. It’s a bit trickier”

“What? Tricky for you, but not for me, eh?”

“Sorry, Skip, but we’ve let you down this end”

– Wouldn’t know, I have never heard this comment

“Can I give you some advice, Skip?

“NO” “When I want your advice, I’ll ask for it”

“Its up to you now Skip!”

“It is a heavy load to bear to meet all your expectations!”

“Sorry to leave you in the manure again, Skip.”

“I know someone who will give you a good price for your bowls!”

“All we need now is the bowl of the century “And this just happens to be that to get the shot” moment in time, is it?

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– Thanks to Trevor Orton and Jem Shorland for assisting with the above.

Christmas Competition – Identify these bowls and win a hamper

1

5

5

3

2

6

6

7

7

8

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

All you need to do to win this lovely hamper (made up by Jan Cook) is to identify who owns the above bowls.

The first correct entry drawn will be the winner.

Write down the owner’s names and numbers on a piece of paper and hand your entry to Neville or Denise Odell before the 15th December 2013. Don’t forget to put your name and contact number onto your entry 38

4

Australian Under 18 Championships

T

he 2013 Australian Under 18 Championships was held at our Club at the end of September. I believe that the majority of our members did not realise or understand the importance of this event. As far as I am aware, this is the first event conducted at our Club, under the auspices of Bowls Australia.

It has been reported that this is the “second most prestigious event” on the Bowls Australia calendar, after the Australian Open Championships. To qualify for this event you needed to be in the either the top five boys or the top five girls in your State. It was really “the best of the best”. The three Bowls Australia selectors were present for most of the event and they will choose, from the 80 participants, ten boys and ten girls for a training squad. The ten best players from this squad will represent Australia against New Zealand in March 2014 in Traralgon Victoria.

The Championships were held over five days, with the first day being a day of practice Over the next four days, the cream of the young players of the game of bowls competed against each other, with representatives from all eight Australian States and Territories.

Our Club presented some very good greens for the event, albeit they were a bit slow to start with, because of the weather conditions that prevailed before and at the start of the event. However they gradually increased in speed, with result that we have very good greens to complete the tournament. Fortunately, the weather ended up being good, with the West Australian sunshine coming through each day. A large contingent of parent and spectators were in attendance, along with quite a number of representatives from Bowls Australia.

A good number of volunteers were required from our Club, and most people asked to assist were pleased to help, with scoreboard attendants, umpires, kitchen helpers, as well as those that assisted with the barbecues and bar. I have to congratulate all those that assisted, and thank them for their help. Without their help, this event would not have been the success that it was.

For the record NSW finished with three gold, two silver and three bronze medals as well as the Boys, Girls and Overall State Champions trophies. WA won gold in the girls’ singles and boys’ triples Bowls Australia have advised us that the event went off very well, and that the club met all of the major criteria. This has to be a feather in our cap, and hopefully we can host such an event again in the future.

– Ian R Wittber 39

Kelvin Kerkow, Sam Clough And Dave Stockholm – Bowls Australia’s three selectors – enjoying a drink at Sorrento.

According to Kelvin most of these top youngsters represent their clubs in Division 1 Pennants

All sizes – from 10 to 17 years

All colours – even a 50:50 set of bowls

Sorrento Bowling Club at its best to welcome our visitors

Blue, green and blonde hair for players and supporters!

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Joan and her helpers prepared hundreds of lunches

The Opening Ceremony

The weather was beautiful as the sun shone on Sorrento You need a “big� lens to photograph bowlers

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Right: A team mascot balanced on a pole

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Show your Sorrento Bowling Club membership card at Brumby’s Bakery in Darch and receive a 25% discount on in-house baked items 43

Moira’s “Christmas and Bowls” Crossword 3

2 1

6

4

5

7

2 3

4

5

8 9

6

10

7 8

11

9

10 11

12

12

13

14 15 16

Win this beautiful Christmas hamper if yours is the first correct entry drawn. Entries to Neville or Denise Odell before the 15th December 2013.

Some pre-printed entry forms will be available.

Thanks to Moira Dean for this clever crossword and to Jan Cook who made up this lovely hamper as the prize.

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13

Across 1.This confection comes with a twist (6-5) 2.Slippery or jellied (3) 3.Wait for New Year for these to save money (5) 4 and 5 down: Jack Horner’s sweet (4 and 3) 5. Is this Neville? (2) 6. German wine on the hoof (4) 7. These soldiers are full of metal (3) 8 See 8 down (8) 9. Your Skipper wants you – – the jack (2) 10. Sounds like needlework (2) 11. I do (3) 12. It’s all about – – (2) 13. A mere dessert (6) 14. This needs an extra end (3) 15. Generally gets to the top of the tree (5) 16. See 10 down (5 and 3) Down 1. 24 hours in the ring (6-3) 2. Deliver this with bows (8) 3. Give me a ring (4) 4. Your Christmas roast will go well with a little of this (5) 5. See 4 across 6. A Skipper is in heaven with a good one (4) 7. Trouble at sea (3) 8 down and 8 across: Hose for Yuletide (9 and 8) 9. People of icy disposition – one called Peter in our club (7) 10 down and 16 across: A traditional pie at Christmas (5 and 4) 11. Neither – – – (3) 12. The Wise-men saw this (4) 13. Santa does this (3) 45

Melbourne Cup Day 2013 Our members in action

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