Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 49 December 2012

Cartoon re-produced courtesy Helen Tullioo

Everyone has a “bias� towards Christmas pudding A Merry Christmas and a special thanks to all our Ladies who look after us so well throughout the year

Number 49 December 2012

Sorrento Club Christmas Newsletter

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Opening Day – Irene Gatter Trophy Day 16th September 2012

THE BLESSING OF OUR GREENS To belong to this club is a blessing in itself! Our club provides companionship, friendship, good fun, support in times of need, healthy competition and good leaders and volunteers serving the club

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he day started with pleasant weather and a large number of members gathered early at the club rooms, enjoying morning tea from 9.30am and looking forward to the day’s festivities where the main event was the annual “Handicap Fours – Ladies versus Men” and the presentation of the Irene Gatter Trophy.

Introductions were made to our important guests the Honourable Tony Krsticevic MLA (Member for Carine) and Councillor Russ Fishwick (South Ward) of the City of Joondalup.

The Mayor of the City of Joondalup was an “apology” as he was detained at the airport and could not get to the Club on time for the event. Cr Fishwick said it was a shame as the Mayor had been honing up on his bowling skill to make a good showing at the “first bowl of the year” before the main grudge match commenced.

The word “blessing” in Greek is “Makarios”. It has two meanings.Firstly seeking favour and secondly asking for protection in the spirit of thankfulness The blessing: “Today is a special day in the life of our club, our opening day! Thank you God for a beautiful day to share friendship in the context of bowls. Thank you for every member and family who share life in this club. We ask for good health for our members and recovery for those who may be struggling this very day.

We ask for your blessing on the season before us - blessing for our players & teams - blessing on the greens we play on.

May today and the days before us unfold in a spirit of fun, friendship and healthy competition and the blessing we offer today is done so with thanksgiving in our hearts.

Amen”

the club and had it proposed and seconded before he left the club. We look forward to seeing him on the greens soon.

The morning games were played with good natured banter and were enjoyed by everyone who played.

Our recently retired cleric Brian Eagles responded to a request by the President and blessed the greens very eloquently.

After the dignitaries put down the symbolic first bowl of the new season, all the members “tarted” themselves up for the group photos that were taken by our resident photographer.

Then it was down to “serious” business with both the Ladies Captain (Anne Lilley) and the Men’s Captain (John Abercrombie) announcing their teams and making predictions as to who would be triumphant at the end of the day.

There were several threats, a couple of boasts and a general appeal to the bowlers to do their best for their respective teams. It would have made a football coach proud to hear them.

Cr Fishwick was so impressed that he got an application form to join

Then came lunch which some claimed was the highlight of the day and was of exceptionally good quality.

The afternoon session of bowls continued similar to the morning with both Captains urging their respective teams to perform at levels that some would say were beyond their capabilities.

Eventually the hostilities came to an end and everyone trooped into the clubrooms to enjoy refreshments, clever conversation and a few ribald jokes.

The Captains retired to the Match Office and after the counting and some rather impolite threats of getting even next year the Ladies conceded defeat. THE MEN WON !

When leaving the club I heard one husband console his wife by saying “Don’t worry Darling, we will lend you some of our coaches so next year you can be competitive.”

She replied with words that no woman should know or say.

–Dick Currie

Opening Day Photos

VIP’s and Guests of Honour –Judith Skeet, Greg Day. Rus Fenwick, John Abercrombie, Anne Lilley and Tony Krsticevic

Greg Day the “Acting President” welcoming guests and members to our Opening Day

Rus Fenwick wielding a croquet mallet Eleanor Adams looking very smart

Alex Third, Peter Blake and Tony Friedlieb all looking rather jolly

Welcome to Kath Harris’ parents Bob and Vi Willers

Watch that action!

Tony Krsticevic rolling the first bowl

Rayma and Tom Sermon enjoying the day.

Bob and Shelley Jeffs enjoying Opening Day

Even Kelly Bradshaw was decked out in Club colours

Joan Whitham and Abba hard at work

Des Bennett and Kevin Cook hard at work sorting out the money!

June Gregory, Carol Ford and Liz Young looking glamorous

Two of our Life Members Bill and May Leyland enjoying the day

Is your Skip grumpy?

A dark cloud hangs over a depressed Skipper as his team once again bowl short and narrow

Dog for Sale

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hether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog. Look at the picture and then read the sales pitch alonside PS. Does your Skipper look like this when you under-perform?

Dog For Sale Free to good home.

Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro any more, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighbourhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name – Ho Lee Schitt. – Ray Stapledon

President’s Report

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ello Members! A misguided race caller, for reasons that completely escape me, had me riding a horse called “Bad Jokes” in the phantom call of the Melbourne Cup. But back to another hobby house of mine, as 2012 draws to an end, it is appropriate to quickly reflect on how the Club is going in relation to our strategic plan the 2020 Vision.

You may recall that the 2020 Vision identifies six key performance areas that are crucial to our ongoing success. We set ourselves an ultimate membership target of 700. Today we have over 600 members, including 410 capitated bowlers, making us, by this definition, the largest bowling club in Western Australia.

“We now have over 600 members of which 410 are bowlers making us the largest bowling club in WA”

We held a new members night recently to welcome the almost 100 new members who have joined the Club in the past few months. I would ask all members to make our new members feel most welcome and to support them in any way possible.

Financial viability is the second key result area. 2011/12 was a strong year for the Club financially, but I am pleased to report that the Club is performing even more strongly in the current financial year. We expect to equal or exceed our peak year back in 2008.

I believe that the Club environment and bar operations are going from strength to strength. Thanks to our recently joined members, our bar is operating strongly on all nights of the week. The number of members who volunteer their time continues to grow. Looking out the window while writing this report, I can see four Club members mowing lawns and banks, carting sand and tidying up the gardens. Naturally we can still use more volunteers.

The last bowls season was arguably the strongest in the Club’s history, helping us to win the Metropolitan Club of the Year award. Matching that performance this year will be quite a challenge but we are determined to do well. The Croquet section is also performing extremely well, and participating in pennants this year.

The Bowls and Croquet committees do a tremendous job and put in countless hours to support our members. Selection is no doubt the hardest job of all. Not all members will agree with the decisions that they make, but remember that they were elected to their positions and represent the Club’s interests. I ask all members to show due respect to the selections and follow due process if they wish to express a concern.

The final key result area is greens and grounds - and don’t they look a picture. The 2020 Vision aimed for the Club to have greens that are the equal of any club. I believe we have achieved that objective thanks to Richard Cox and his team, ably supported by our willing volunteers.

So in conclusion, I am happy with where the Club is at, thanks to the hard work of the Executive and Club committees and importantly thanks to your efforts in supporting your Club. As the final newsletter before Christmas, allow me to wish all members in advance a very merry Christmas and a happy 2013.

Men’s Captains Report

– Brian Lucas

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orporate /Community Bowls have commenced, Russ and Jenny Lockwood (Tuesdays) together with Alan Woods (Fridays) are looking for volunteers to assist with putting out Bowls and mats. If you can spare a few hours on either night please get in touch with Russ and or Jenny and Alan.

Chris Tibbits has resigned from Match Committee, after 5 years of service. Chris’s experience and dedication to detail will be sorely missed. Club Championships and Pennants are well under way with positive results. New members looking for coaching should contact Graeme Heard to book a lesson.

Members of the Men’s Bowls committee wish everyone a happy Christmas and a healthy and prosperous 2013. “Families should always come first”.

– ABBA

Lady Captain’s Report

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lanning for Gala Day on 11th January 2013 is under way. Sponsors are being contacted regarding continued support for this event. The list of stalls is on the notice board and any assistance in managing these will be much appreciated.

Sub Committee considering strategies to promote/advertise the Club continues to meet on a regular basis. An information booklet for new members has been completed. Neville Odell has done a great job in the format/presentation of this booklet.

The ladies were very sorry to hear that Chris Tibbits will be resigning as Chair, Men’s Match Committee. His organisational skills and willingness to help together with his unfailing good humour has been very much appreciated by both me and the Ladies Match Committee. Thank you Chris.

As Regional delegate I recently attended a Management Committee meeting at Bowls 10

WA. Quite a bit of information will be e-mailed to Clubs in the next few weeks on issues such as greens inspections, dumping of bowls, greens speed, Men’s 6th Division pennants.

Due to lack of support the proposed Bowls WA Presidents forum scheduled for December has been cancelled.

Following a request several months ago to consider any ladies deserving of Life Membership no nominations have been received to date.

Please continue to provide myself and/or Jean Baker our Welfare Officer with the names of any member, male or female, on the sick list.

– Anne Lilley

Divorce Pairs

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he Divorced Pairs competition was held on Wednesday the 19th September in perfect conditions, which has to be a first considering that I think the last 2 years have had to be postponed to the following week due to the weather.

Forty eight competitors took to the greens and the battles commenced. The round one games were fairly evenly matched with just two teams winning by a higher than average margin. The second round was more evenly matched with quite a few teams drawing.

The overall winners on the day were Ron Taylor and Helen Ironside and the runners up were Frank Lilley and Marie Smart. The A.M. winners were Ray Stapledon and Denise Odell and the P.M. winners were Brian Saul and Sharon Eggers. Well done to all our winners, and indeed all our competitors who participated on the day.

The day was finished off with a well deserved sausage sizzle prepared by Joan Whitham, Glenn Boston and Wayne Gray.

Ladies 100 up

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– Coral Smith

his event proves to be one of the most popular ladies competitions to be held during the bowling season. It is played just prior to the commencement of Pennants each year. This year was no exception with 28 ladies competing.

Considering that only two greens were available for our usage, these were filled 11

to capacity with 7 rinks in play on each green. The conclusion of day one saw 4 semi finalists in both the Major and Plate competitions advance to day two.

Day two of the competition (semi finals and finals) was played in the morning with the strong easterly/southerly winds swirling around making conditions rather difficult for the competitors. The winners of the Major semi finals were Wendy Saul and Coral Smith with Beth McCormack and Pauline Bourne winning their semi finals in the Plate.

The Major final produced some excellent draw bowling from both Coral and Wendy, which under the very windy conditions was a difficult task to achieve. With just over half the match completed the scores were even at 60 each. Coral was able to produce a 10 on one end which enabled her to edge away and finally win this competition. Congratulations go to Coral for a fantastic effort in winning this competition. To Wendy, you put in some excellent bowls under great pressure and for the second time in 2 years, were the runner-up – maybe third time lucky!!!

Pauline Bourne and Beth McCormack contested the Plate with the lead changing several times during the match. Pauline played extremely well during this match producing some excellent draw bowls.

Congratulations go to Pauline. – Helen Ironside

Mixed Fours Championship

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he club Mixed Fours championship was played over Sundays 14th and 21st October, in beautiful weather and on respectable 14-15 second greens. A field of 16 made it very easy for the match committees to arrange the draw. Special thanks to 12

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Ken Giles who made up an extra team so that we had 16 teams which made the draw easier and provided a sensible Plate competition.

After the preliminary rounds, the semi-finals of the major came down to Bruce Eagle’s four of Jenni and Russell Lockwood with Eleanor Adams defeating Pauline and Tony Bourne, with Kevin and Jan Cook 18-16.

The other major semi-final was between Trevor Orton’s four of Neville and Denise Odell and Kath Harris defeating Graeme and Nelly Heard playing with Ray and Emily Dunn 14-13 in a match that came down to the last bowl and a long measure.

The final of the major saw Trevor’s four establish an early break, only to be pegged back to a couple of shot margin

by Bruce’s four. Trevor’s team were 5 shots up with one end to play, when Bruce trailed the jack to where ‘most’ of his team’s bowls were, only to have it come to rest beside Trevor’s only bowl in the vicinity. The final score was 18-12.

The two semi finals of the Plate proved to be hard fought events with very close results. The first semi was between teams skippered by Ron Taylor and Ron Kuziela with Ron Taylor’s team getting away to an early lead and then being overtaken by Ron Kuziela’s team who finally ran out the winners.

The second semi final was between Ken Giles and Jim Ironside’s teams. Ken’s team led from early in the match but Jim’s team caught them in the final ends to win by the smallest of margins – i.e. one shot. Jim chose not to bowl his last bowl – good choice Jim. The final was then between Ron Kuziela ,Wayne Olive, Helen Kuziela and Judy 14

Campbell and Jim Ironside, Lee Leach, Helen Ironside and Peter Blake. Team Ironside got away to an early lead of 11 – 2, before Team Kuziela made a great comeback to almost level the scores.

Team Ironside managed to pull away again and finally win again by just one shot.

Jim chose once again not to bowl his last bowl much to the delight of his team members looking rather anxious on the bank. Winning both their semi final and then final by one shot could only be considered “almost too close for comfort).

Congratulations to all players for the spirit in which all matches were played, and in particular congratulations to the winners.

– Trevor Orton and Helen Ironside

Twilight Bowls

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wilight pairs resumed on Tuesday 13th November. If you want to be a part of this 2-4-2 pairs competition, please place your names on the list on the west wall before 4:00pm each Tuesday, and be there promptly for a start at 4:30pm. Weekly cash prizes and overall season prizes are on offer, and lots of fun to be had by all.

– Trevor Orton

Our Welfare Officer

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ince being appointed as Ladies Welfare Officer some four years ago I have been involved in acknowledging members primarily on matters such as ill health, bereavements, and special birthdays. Tasks have ranged from sending cards, telephone calls, flowers, hospital visits and attending funerals. Information about these matters has been provided by the Ladies Executive and other members.

This season I have been asked to extend these acknowledgements to include the Men. I can only undertake these tasks if I am aware of the member.

Therefore, to ensure members are not overlooked I am seeking assistance from all members to either inform Glenn Boston (Manager) or Team Captains who will pass on the information. Alternatively, you can contact me on 9447 7484 or e-mail vince.baker@bigpond.com.

– Jean Baker 15

A LETTER TO SANTA (From a Sorrento member)

Dear Santa, I send you good wishes, with lots of good cheer,

And you’re wondering what presents to give me this year?

It’s not REALLY compulsory for a present for me,

It’s just up to you, so please feel free.

But to help you decide, and so I won’t be missed,

I’ve compiled things I want, in a sort of a list.

A new shiny car would probably do,

A Holden, a Jag, or p’raps even two, An apartment in Surfers would look good on my tree,

With a view of the ocean, and a Sauna for me.

A cheque for a million, and another in cash,

That would be nice; I don’t want to be flash.

A trip ‘round the world, and travel first rate,

A day at the “Palace”, and lunch with young ‘Kate’.

Now don’t take me wrong, these options are wide,

They are just suggestions to help you decide.

And if you can’t manage – there is one fall-back,

Just give me a BOWL that sticks close to the JACK.

– “Skew Wiff” Watt.

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Croquet Report

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orrento Croquet has its First Pennants Team. Croquetwest has passed for Sorrento to host Pennant games with our one and a half courts. The season started on Thursday evening 1st November, with the first three games of the season being home games.

Our first Pennant team members are Peter Hamilton (Captain), Terry Harvey, Glenda Laidler and Charli Crute, with Trish Klemp, Denise Baldock and Tony Fowke being reserves. Sorrento has won the first three Pennant matches against, Cambridge, Forest Park and Nedlands. Well done to our team.

The single light throws a strong shadow on our greens and the smaller green is quite dark. However, the consensus (across both clubs) seems to be that it is the same for everyone and that we should grit our teeth and continue with the remaining games there.

We would like to thank our Green Keepers: for a perfect job on swinging our hoops in time for the competition and having our greens in top condition.

Congratulations to Trish Klemp and Terry Harvey on completing the Golf Coaching Accreditation course. This is a bonus for our club, with many of us picking up new hints and tips when we play Croquet with them.

September was a busy month holding “Come & Try Days� each Saturday afternoon; ads were placed in the local papers and posters placed around the shopping centres, libraries & Percy Doyle Reserve. There was keen interest from the public, with a minority of people indicating that they would come and play. This day was enjoyed by our members.

October was the beginning of our In House Croquet Tournaments and continue through to the end of November. Golf Doubles was held on the 8th October, with the winners being Trish Klemp and Marian Smith. Golf Singles was held on 26th October, with the winner being Judith Skeet. Ricochet Singles was held on Thursday 8th November and this was won by Peter Hamilton, Ricochet 17

Doubles is being held on the 30th November.

An e-mail was received by the Sorrento Bowling Club from a netball club with twenty ladies aged between 18 to 35 looking to try a game of Croquet. This was duly passed on to Croquet to follow up on; arrangements were made for Saturday afternoon 13th October at 2.00. We received a call at 11.00 asking where we were as they were at the Bowling Club and no one was there. After phone calls backward and forward and checking both our gates, it was realized that the Netball team were standing outside the Sorrento Bowling Club in Victoria. A lot of laughs were had by all.

Platinum Day: was held on Friday 19th October with 33 people turning out to try Croquet and Bowls. We have some genuine interest in some of these people being interested in Croquet.

Glenda Laidler celebrated her special birthday with a luncheon at the Kingsway Tavern with fellow Croquet Players, Partners & Friends.

“Have a Go Day” was held at Burswood on Wednesday 14th November. Sorrento Croquet had an area to demonstrate the game of croquet. There was some genuine interest with people being interested in the game of Croquet to the extent that we could direct them not only to our club but to their local clubs. We also gave contact details and relevant information on some people wishing to join our Bowling Club.

A few more simple rules snippets for this month..(We may well consolidate these into a mini rules leaflet covering the most common situations we encounter.)

A point which arose in Ricochet the other day was that of placing a ball on the corner yard line when there is a ball already occupying that spot. We know that the striker has the right to choose which side to place his/her ball but remember that, once placed it cannot be altered, so think carefully before you put the ball down! (Rule 11d).

Clearing up one area of confusion is Rule 5a which simply states that the side winning the toss, in Golf, starts first with blue. There’s no suggestion that a side can choose colours instead. However Rule 5c states that, for a multi-game match, the players keep the same balls but the losing side may start with either of their balls.

Finally, regarding a ball lying beyond the halfway mark when a hoop is made. As we know, that ball can be directed, by the opposition, to be played from one of the penalty spots. Beware, though, if you try to sneak your shot in before the opponent has indicated this, they can make you replay the shot - from the penalty spot if they wish (and, of course, any hoop run would not count and any balls moved are replaced.) (Rule 10 c 2).

– Judith Skeet 18

Geoff Bloomfield

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eoff Bloomfield a Life Member of our club suffered a stroke in June 2011 and sadly will not be back to play croquet. Geoff was a founding member in forming our Croquet Club in 1996, working with the Wanneroo City Council Shire, Ministry of Sport & Recreation and the Sorrento Bowling Club to find us a permanent home.

Sorrento Croquet was the first Croquet Club in Wanneroo and the first club to be officially opened in Perth since 1954. Eleven would-be-players, who had never held a mallet before, participated in a few introductory games with Geoff who was then the “WA Croquet Association Director of Coaching”.

It wasn’t long before the players became frustrated with the balls running at odd angles and the tussocky surface of “Percy Doyle Reserve” lost favour. The group moved to a flat area near the Joondalup Train Station but it soon became apparent that Croquet and Kangaroos did not mix and they temporarily moved again to a club in Floreat, followed by another move to Leederville, before finding a permanent home at “Sorrento Bowling Club” in 1997.

Geoff has given his services to other Clubs throughout the State with his expert coaching and referee abilities. In fact two weeks prior to Geoff’s stroke you would see him on the Croquet Greens at 8am in the morning when it was 4 degrees or less giving coaching sessions prior to the game starting.

Geoff played extremely well of course but he was once seen chasing the ball across the green and shouting at the ball ‘STOP’ ‘STOP’. DONT GO OUT, but of course it did, he is also known around some clubs as “Mr. Ricochet”.

As one prospective player wrote to Geoff after having been shown the rudiments of Croquet and is a true assessment of him. “I admire your enthusiasm, personal qualities and the ability to sustain a highly skilled style of cohesive leadership with your colleagues.”

Two of Geoff’s other interests are poetry, particularly Australian poetry and he loved to sing and for a time was in a choir in the Eastern States, here in Perth he was an enthusiastic member of the “Sorrento – Duncraig Choir of Sing Australia” who often practise at our club. Geoff is greatly missed around our Club and Clubs around the State. We wish him well.

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Greens and Grounds Report

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ll our greens are now back in service and playing very well. It has taken a good deal of hard work by our dedicated ground’s staff and a few volunteers but it has been well worth the effort. Various plants have now been put into our new gardens thanks to the generosity of Richard Cox. Enjoy your bowls over summer and have a very merry (hic) Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Remember this quiz from the last Newsletter? Can you answer all of the following questions with the same word? 1. The word has 7 letters. 2. It preceded God. 3. It is greater than God. 4. It is more evil than the devil. 5. All poor people have it. 6.

Wealthy people need it. 7. If you eat it, you will die. The answer was NOTHING. Chris Tibbits was the first person with the correct answer.

– Alan Rolls

Ernest Alfred Conyngham 1924-2012

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rn’s parents were Ambrose and Annie Conyngham who were Irish Catholics. Ern had three brothers and a sister. Ern spent his young life in two places, Annandale and Petersham in Sydney.

He attended the local catholic. After he finished his education, he joined the army at 18 and left at 25 with the rank of Lieutenant. He was in Japan after the atomic bomb was dropped. He was there helping the Americans with the forming of the new constitution for the Japanese.

Ern was married and had a family of three daughters; Chris, Jan and Sue. Ern and his family suffered sadness with the death of his wife and daughter, Chris, at very young ages.

After a period of loneliness, Ern met Irene in March 1977. They spent many happy years in their house on the beach in Sydney. They came to Western Australia in 2000 and Ern joined the Sorrento Bowling Club and the R.S.L. bowls and this bought him and Irene in contact with many people who became their friends.

Ern will be remembered as a truly great gentleman and a great Australian.

– Mary Rolls 20

Men’s Selection Review

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fter 3 rounds we have 4 Thursday teams in the top four and 3 Saturday teams in the top four, it is very early in the season and we look forward to everything improving as the season progresses.

I apologize for not being around for the start of the season, however, I am looking forward to becoming available in the near future.

As this will be the final report before the Festive Season the Selectors would like to take this opportunity to wish all club members a Very Merry Xmas and a Prosperous New Year.

Pot Winners.

Thursday 25/10/12

1/11/12

8/11/12

Saturday 27/10/12

10/11/12

R. Rogers, T Peters, B Saul, G Murray +28 J Hauck, B Self, J Collishaw, W Gray +21 C Campbell, G O’Brien, K Cooper, W Elliott +15 P Oldershaw, B Bradshaw, L Baker, R Lockwood +15 A Rolls, K Cook, D Smith, T Bourne +30 A Rolls, K Cook, D Smith, T Bourne +20 – Des Bennett

The Club Selectors

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he job of Selector is a much maligned role in a Bowls Club. The subjective nature of a player’s ability in bowls makes the task of selecting the best team a nightmare. With competitive sports like cricket, football and tiddly winks, the task of finding the best person for the best position is eased by the obvious nature of player’s ability.

Lawn bowlers are not a skilful lot and it seems the average bowler is destined to distract selectors from gauging the genuine ability of a team. Anybody who considers the job of assembling a rabble of these humans into an effective force on the green has to consider their approach to the process.

There are only a few options available as far as Selector attitude. Firstly there is the “communication” style of being a Selector. Be warned, this approach is a large pitfall if you value your personal life. If the rumour gets out that you are a Selector who is willing to communicate, be prepared to put up with a summer of whining, whinging and emotional blackmail. Those midnight calls from drunken Seconds who played Third the week before will take their toll.

If Barak Obama was to suddenly quit politics and suddenly turn his political arts to 21

being a bowls selector, he would be eaten alive by the incessant pleas of crap bowlers wanting to be promoted above their station. A fair, transparent, compassionate philosophy to being a selector is a recipe for disaster!

decisions when prompted by questions.

Another approach is the “Emu”.

Completely ignoring people is a valid option. This requires only the simple ability to not give a rat’s clacker about the progress of the team, and an ability to improvise selection

If you admit you’re no good and other club members know this, you should have no problems surviving a year at the job. Sure, you’ll never get the job again, but you will be well liked at the club and most likely be stuffed and used as the club mascot when needed.

The best option for the role of Selector is being the club tyrant. If you are going to be hated, why not be hated on your own terms?

The great historical tyrants of the last hundred years did great damage to the societies they ran.

Think of Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Sadam etc. But a selector can exercise similar evil powers, without taking a human life. Sure, the odd bowler will run off into the night screaming and hollering in despair that they’re playing Third to a first year player in the seconds.

“I’m never going to be a Selector again! I would rather lick toilet bowls clean!”

– A recently retired Selector

In the end, no one is really hurt if you declare a “zero whinging” tolerance. If you do get that late night call from an exasperated bowler, you can coolly say that the situation will be changed tomorrow, put down the phone and put them in their place by having them lead in Divvy 8. At least they can have one night of sleep until they see the team board the next day.

– Thanks to Edithvale Bowling Club for this delightful analysis

Some Notes from your Editor

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his is our 5th and final newsletter for 2012. Denise and I wish all our readers a very happy Christmas and a great 2013. We would again like to thank all our contributors. Without your help producing the newsletter would be a much more 22

difficult task. It is great to receive a report by e-mail. All we have to do is to copy and paste and sometime a bit of a spell check.

Did you know that women and men will be able to play together and against each other in the new Champions League bowls competition at Club Merrylands? Their Bowls co-ordinator, Steve McGuiness said he and the club were excited to be part of the new venture. “It’s a competition run by clubs for clubs,” he said. “We have the opportunity to tweak the rules and are not controlled by a governing body which dictates what we can and cannot do. “This is one of the few sports where men and ladies can play against each other on a level playing field.”

Did you hear about three of our lady bowlers who decided to dress up as nuns and have a good fun day at East Fremantle Bowling Club? The three, Sister Glory Be, Sister Cannie Be and Sister Wanna Be, played a great game of bowls but apparently most of the glory had to go to Sister Glory Be. They were so comfortable in their outfits that they went on a tour of the local pubs of Fremantle Thank goodness for Johnny Warner who rescued them as they were downing yet another pint of Guinness, while patrons of the pub stared in disbelief!

Did you hear that Ian Marshall got together a hotshot team consisting of his wife and previous members Ron and Rhonda Prosser and then proceeded to win the R.S.L. Mixed Fours? It is amazing what can be achieved with a loaded team!

Did you know that if you want to be happy for a weekend go away with your lover, if you want to be happy for a week kill a pig and eat a piece each day and finally if you want to be happy for a lifetime grow a garden?

Did you know that Barry and Wilma Bradshaw will have been married for 50 years in January 2013? Congratulations to you both.

Did you hear that due to a shortage of umpires at State level, Jim Ironside was asked to officiate at the Australian Open Qualifying Women’s Singles at Nollamara? He responded to nine umpire calls during the day, one of which puzzled him as the initial inspection of the two bowls, about a foot from the jack, clearly showed one of the bowls was a couple of inches closer. This was confirmed by the measuring equipment. The two players then conceded that one of the bowls that had been leaning over must have fallen some time between when they called for the umpire and when he arrived. So Thirds don’t forget to chock any leaning bowls if they may 23

disadvantage your team should they fall.

Did you know that Beth McCormack used to drive a Metro bus, a fuel tanker, a fireengine and a motor bile as well as flying an aeroplane?

Did you know that our Sorrento Ladies did well in the Warwick Bowling Club held annual ladies gala day on Friday, l2th October? One hundred and twenty eight bowlers in thirty two teams from fourteen different bowling clubs attended. The major prize winning team of the day was a Sorrento team comprising of Annie Taylor, Pat Duffy, Sylvia McLaughlan and Emily Dunn. The girls agreed that they couldn’t stop smiling for hours after the event. Winners are Grinners!

Did you hear that Kevin Cook and Eleanor Adams both went to the wrong Bunnings to help with our sausage sizzle. For some strange reason they went to Bunnings Balcatta instead of Bunnings Whitfords!

Did you hear that Cal O’Donnell celebrated his 70th birthday in October 2012. When interviewed by your Editor he was heard to say: “To reach this age is indeed a pinnacle but in my case it’s a bloody miracle”.

Did you know that that Ray and Emily have been married for 64 years. Their wedding anniversary is on the 27th November 2012? Well done you guys!

A little bird told me that after testing our Bruce Eagle’s new bright red Vespa scooter Russell Lockwood and Bruce decided to go for a coffee. They then proceeded to do a runner with both forgetting to pay! Bruce apparently had to go back the next day to pay! Finally I’m now exhaustipated so that’s all the news from your Editor.

– Neville Odell

Darts Report

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nother successful year of darts has come to and end. Our dart club has operated for over thirty years and is a very successful club. This doesn’t happen by accident and requires the service of dedicated committee members, delegates and team managers. I would like to say a special thank you to following: 1. Des Bennett has been with the club in many capacities over many years and is our current treasurer. Des puts many hours into the club.

2.Tony Jones is the club secretary.

3.Kevin Cook is the club recorder and delegate to the sports and bowling club darts association.

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4.Phil Webb is the club delegate to the blue water darts association.

5.Glenn Boston is the bar manager at the bowling club and is a great ally of our dart club. His effort and the club’s support for darts through the executive committee is greatly appreciated. Glenn also organised this years trip to Wongan hills bowling club and has undertaken to organise next years trip.

6.Last but by no means least is the dynamic pair, Keith and Margaret Cooper.

Keith and Margaret work tirelessly selling raffle tickets and balancing their books, enabling the club to have functions like this one.

The Darts club 2011/2012 season was a very successful year with four teams entered, two of which made the finals and 1 winning their grand final. Sorrento entered a 2nd and a 3rd team in the sports and bowling club competition. The 2nd division finished in fourth place then won their preliminary final 6/5, after being 5 nil down but unfortunately were defeated by Forrestfield in the preliminary final. The 3rd division finished 5th after being firmly entrenched in the four for most of the year. A special thanks goes to Frank Bomford who filled in for both divisions when they were short of players Sorrento entered a 1st division and a 2nd division in the Bluewater competition. The 1st division ended top of the ladder at the end of the competition and went on to win the grand final against the MAC club.

The 2nd division did not fair as well, but this was because the side was made up of a number of new players who did not have official averages and, as such, where allocated averages by Bluewater which where higher than what they should have played. We believe they will be entered into a lower division next year and are looking forward to a more competitive year of darts.

The dart club were victorious in the annual Bowls vs Darts competition. Congratulations to those that played.

The Dart club AGM is to be held on Thursday 17th January 2013.

Thanks again to all those who where involved in the darts this year and I look forward to seeing you all next year. – Wayne Gray 25

Umpire’s Corner

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ongratulations to the FIVE members who passed their umpire’s written and ‘on green’ exams to become accredited level 1 national umpires. The new umpires are Pauline Marsden, Dianne Phillips, Wendy Saul, Bill Long, and Ted McGrady.

Bowls WA has introduced a new rule this year relating to players damaging the green – Field of Play Rule 24. For a full explanation of this rule please refer to the current edition (Oct-Nov 2012) of Jack-Hi, page 15. This rule was brought in to allow clubs, particularly those with synthetic greens, to stop players who in their opinion are causing damage to the playing surface, notably by dropping their bowls on delivery causing denting of the compacted layer beneath. Discussions with the Green’s Chairperson indicates that this is not an issue at Sorrento and hence the new rule will only be applied in extreme cases where bowlers are being careless, such as throwing bowls onto the green from the bank or dropping bowls from a height onto the green.

Bowls WA have also removed the requirement for a minimum green speed of 13 seconds. I believe that the reason for this is that only Victoria and WA had minimum green speed requirements and that Victoria was removing theirs which would have left WA as the only state with a minimum green speed requirement.

Bowls WA have an extreme weather policy, which covers standards required by clubs for dealing with extreme weather conditions. For lightning, the “30/30” rule is recommended for safety and serves as a guide for the suspension and subsequent resumption of play. The “30/30” rule recommends that play should immediately stop and players take shelter (preferably in the clubhouse) when lightning activity is less than 10 km distant, as determined by the time lapse between the lightning and the thunder being 30 seconds or less. (Sound takes 3 seconds to travel 1 km).

The policy recommends that play should not resume until 30 minutes after the lightning activity has passed. While it may appear safe to resume play before the 30 minutes has elapsed there is still a risk and the club could be exposed to legal liability (duty of care) and insurance issues if we do not comply with the Bowls WA policy.

Players should respect and respond immediately to any decision by the Match Committee or the Umpire of the Day to suspend play under these conditions.

Unfinished ends shall be declared dead and replayed.

– Jim Ironside

SBC 5th Annual Art Exhibition

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ur Exhibition this year will be held on Friday February 22nd 2013. We expect to have a good range of high quality art, again produced by members of our 26

club. If there are any artists out there who would also like to exhibit with us, please contact me on 9245 4718, or see me at the club.

– Beth McCormack – Co-ordinator

A Dark and Stormy Night.

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t was a dark and stormy night. Roland and Barbara Hill were touring up in the Pilbara. They were driving along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Roland could barely see the road in front of the car.

Suddenly, his land cruiser skidded on a corner! Roland attempted to control the vehicle, but to no avail! It swerved and smashed into a tree. Moments later, Roland looked to the passenger seat and saw Barbara unconscious and with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Roland realised he must seek medical assistance.

Roland saw a light coming from a large, old house. He carefully picked Barb up and begins trudging down the road towards it. He knocked on the door. A minute passed.

A hunchback opened the door. Roland immediately said, “Hello.

My name is Roland Hill, and this is my wife, Barbara. We’ve been in a terrible accident, and Barb is hurt. May I use your phone?”

“I’m sorry,” replied the hunchback, “We don’t have a phone, but my master is a doctor. Come in and I will get him!” Roland brought Barb in.

An older man in a white dust coat came down the stairs and said, “I’m afraid Igor may have misled you. I’m not a medical doctor. I’m a scientist. However, it is miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had some basic medical training. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory.” With that Igor picked Barbara up and carried her downstairs with Roland close behind. Igor placed Barb on a table in the lab. Roland collapsed then from exhaustion and his own injuries. Igor placed him on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor’s master was worried.

“Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion.”

Igor and his master worked feverishly, but to no avail. Both Roland and Barbara Hill were no more. Their deaths greatly upset Igor’s master. Wearily, he climbed the stairs to his conservatory, which housed his grand piano, for it was here that he always found solace. He began to play, and a stirring, haunting melody filled the house.

Meanwhile, Igor tidied up the lab. His eyes caught movement. He noticed Barb’s fingers were twitching in time with the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watched as Roland’s arm began to rise, also marking the beat! He was further amazed when Barb and Roland both sat up straight! Unable to contain himself, the hunchback raced up 27

the stairs to the conservatory. He burst in and shouted out to the scientist, “Master, Master!.....The Hills are alive with the sound of music!”

– Jem Shorland

A few observations about bowls practice.

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e have all heard the advice that “Practice makes perfect”. I have established that this is not always the case. We have heard the advice from the famous golfer Gary Player that “Golf is a game of luck – the harder I practice the luckier I get”. This probably applies to bowls also.

The latest I heard related to the Australian cricket team. It was called the seven P’s.

“Prior persistent practice prevents piss poor performance”. So – back to the practice green again, seeking perfection.

– Neil McLaughlan

Quiz to test your brain

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his is a nine question quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn’t. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle.

The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way.

How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ‘ dw’ and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

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8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter ‘S.’ Answers on Page 40 – Jem Shorland

Fashion Parade

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ur annual Fashion Parade was held on 18th September and was a huge success as usual. I would like to thank Joan and her helpers for a lovely morning tea, Marie and Coral who helped to set the tables, Moira for her table decorations, the ladies who made such tasty soup, Betty, Jean, Mary and May for selling raffle and door tickets, Margaret and Barbara for donating the Nutrametics raffle and Neville and Denise for kindly arranging the printing of the tickets.

Last but not least I would like to thank the models, Coral, Sharon, Nelly, Helen and Liz and our macho males, Tony and Ron, who made all the ladies smile. A grand total of $1335 was made on the day – a great contribution again by our ladies. Thank you all.

– May Leyland

Fish and Chips Sunday

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he second Fish and Chip Day proved to be a very enjoyable day for everybody.

Overall winners were Ron Kuziela, Frank Lilley, Kevin Scammell and Betty Stern with 4 +24. Just behind were Graeme Heard, Judy Campbell, Coral Smith and Bob Jeffs with 4+17.

Winners of Losers were Brian Saul, Kath Harris, Marilyn Bradbury and Helen Ironside. The Losing Runners-Up were Alan Rolls, Allan Wood, Ted McGrady and Jim Ironside. Once again many thanks to the organisers. A great day was had by all!

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Pre-Cup Calcutta Melbourne Cup 2012

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great time was had by all who attended the pre-cup Calcutta. The night was organised by Greg Day, our Social Convenor, resplendent in custom tailored shirt and trousers supplied by Zip Enterprises.

He was ably assisted by Ron Kuziela, who wore clothes which he would not be game to wear on the greens and Derek Smith looking resplendent in a jacket and tie. Ron presented a top-notch phantom race call which differed markedly from a previous phantom call by failing to correctly forecast the Cup winner and runner-up. His call did follow the SBC tradition of being spurious, garbled, and hard to follow, but it was very entertaining and enjoyed by all. Ron was roundly abused when he forecast the winner as being ridden by John Hauck (who received a $360 retainer for his efforts).

As you all know, John has refused to ever ride a real horse since falling heavily from his rocking horse as a child. Besides, no potential Cup horse would ever allow John to mount it. The highlights of the call were Ron’s disclosures that H was on Valium, and likening her to Harvey Norman in having had no interest for two years.

Jem Shorland exhibited sartorial splendour by wearing a fake dinner suit to the event whilst demanding other members wear polished thongs and socks. His conduct of the raffle for ‘Seller’s’ horses was marred only by the favouritism displayed to his wife, Bev, during the raffle draw. There was uproar when Bev drew two of the three favourites. Bev did her usual and ignored all of Jem’s pleas. Another to suffer the slings and arrows of jealousy was Alan Bishop (recently transferred to SBC from the Glengarry BC) who drew five horses. He did personally buy the bulk of the tickets sold, so perhaps he was under-rewarded for his efforts, even though he made a tidy profit by selling four of them!

Other persons who distinguished themselves on the night included: • Spider Webb, who refused to wear appropriate apparel for a big night out, but made amends on Cup Day! • Kevin Coffey, who mislaid three schooners of beer during the course of the evening, • May, after Cal refused to go home early to watch a “Mrs. Brown’s Boys” rerun, • Brian Collins, for being first to buy a horse from himself, • Tiger Hogan, who was an also ran, • Wayne Grey, who was at the head of the others, • Greg Day, who was the only person who did not pay for a horse he bought on the night despite insisting upon that being one of the unbreakable Calcutta rules, • Alan Anderson, who was so late for the Calcutta he failed to turn up at all, • Ian Linford, who bought a cheap loser after selling last year’s winner for half price, • Brian Self, who could not be there as he was at Happy Valley, Hong Kong, • Brian Lucas, who kept the bar open way past his bed-time.

– Jem Shorland 31

The Melbourne Cup Day Bash!

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great day was had by all, especially Eleanor Adams who had obviously polished her wind up techniques pre-race to win the final of the ‘Horse on a String’ race from an unlucky Alan Rolls. The pre event favourite was Judy Campbell, but she failed the medical. Jim Ironside was the happy winner of the Jack Daniels Dollar Slide, and George Sjepcevich contributed hugely to pay for the bottle. Herbie Eisenmann was also a heavy participant/contributor in the same event.

The member provided spread was fantastic and enjoyed by all, especially Clair Hanlon. Richard Fermoyle and Jean Middleditch should be greeted with applause next time they enter the SBC for their splendid organisation of the Sweep tickets.

Winners of the Cup Day parades were: • Sharon Eggers, who headed the parade as best available jockey, • John Sanders, who ended up a little hoarse, • Judy Campbell, best dressed lady,• • Spider Webb, who won the award as the best looking spiv on the course, • Jem Shorland, who waltzed in the award for the out-of-his-class stakes, • Kerry Bomford, who won the award for the best ladies hat with the best men’s hat prize shared between Alan Rolls and Cal O’Donnell.

Worthy winners of huge amounts of money from the Club Calcutta: • First prize of $1,500 (Green Moon) to Keith and Margaret Cooper, • Second prize of $685 (Fiorente) to Brian Collins, • Third prize of $415 (Jakkalberry) to Greg Day, • Last place of $80 (Ethiopia) to Spider Webb. Spider outlaid $105 for this horse.

The biggest non-achiever in the Calcutta was John Hauck, who spent a lot of money on five horses, including the two top weights, for a net return of zero dollars.

Four other wonderful people were successful in the four fifty dollar sweeps. They were Tina Smith, Glenn Boston, Spider Webb, and Jem Shorland. Each of these excellent people pocketed a tidy $700. A very popular result!

All in all a memorable 24 hours!

– Norman Harvey SBC roving reporter

The Amazing Human Body Did you know?

• It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

• One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.

• The average man’s penis is two times the length of his thumb.

• Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

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Having fun on Melbourne Cup Day Special thanks to the organisers. See you all next year

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• A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.

• There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

• Woman blink twice as often as men.

• The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

• Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

• If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women will be finished reading this by now. Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

Bunnings Sausage Sizzles

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he three sausage sizzles recently held were by far the most successful we have conducted. We were fortunate as the weather was fine for the three days. The first on Sunday 26th Aug was a guess as to what we wanted as far as goods were concerned going last years year’s figures. Admittedly last years dates were not ideal.

It was full on from approximately 11am until we ran out of goods at about 3.00pm.

The next on Saturday 1st Sept was more full on than the last and again we ran out at approximately 3.00pm. This time the order had been increased from the previous week and re-supplied during the day.

The last one held on the 23rd Sept was full on all day. The order had been increased from the last one to 750 sausages and 650 rolls. And even then we just made it to the 4.00pm closing time after having been told by Bunning’s that we must stay selling until the designated time.

Overall we banked close on $4,300 over the three days. Once again the volunteers who manned the booth over the three days were magnificent, in particular our stalwart Joan Whitham.

Fifteen hundred rolls and 1800 sausages were ordered and consumed plus extras purchased on several days.It was unfortunate that a bowls event was scheduled on the last day and several volunteers doubled up to cover shifts. Something to look at next year.

The volunteers who gave up their valuable time were: John Abercrombie, Joan Whitham, Eleanor Adams, Richard Fermoyle, Terry Smith, Alan and Mary Rolls, Roger Haber, Ron Taylor, Betty Stern, Dianne Phillips, Kevin Cook, Coral Smith, Sharon Eggers, Neville and Denise Odell, Liz Marshall, John Taylor. Joan Whitham Eleanor Adams and Dianne Phillips covered multiple shifts. Once again many thanks.

Three days have been applied for next year so see what you can offer next year and relieve the regulars.

– Ian Marshall 35

Coaches Corner - “Hot Hints from Heardie” IMPORTANT POINTS IN DELIVERY 1. Your weight must be towards the balls of the feet with knees relaxed.

2. The feet and body must be pointed along your aiming line with bowling arm following that line.

3. Your shoulders must be square to line of delivery.

4. Allow weight of bowl to determine the back swing.

5. Take a normal walking step.

6. Step as your bowling arm straightens at the bottom of the backswing for correct timing.

7. A firm straight arm as the jack or bowl is released. As you release bowl 90% of your weight will be on the forward foot.

8. The bowling arm must finish not much higher than the forward knee.

9. Only step forward off the mat after the jack or bowl has been delivered and has travelled at least 4 metres. Remember bowling is always a forward movement.

10. Always watch where your bowl finishes. It is still your mat until your bowl stops.

REMEMBER PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT BUT IT TAKES TIME. – Graeme Heard

Dorothy Dix, our Agony Aunt gives advice Dear Dorothy A couple of women moved in across the street from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and even play bowls together but I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

A “Concerned Bowler” Dear “Concerned Bowler”, Check to see if they have minimum bias bowls.

Dorothy Dix Dear Dorothy What can I do about all the sex, nudity, foul language and violence on my VCR? Brian 36

Dear Brian, Stop recording Pennant Selection meetings!

Dorothy Dix Dear Dorothy I’ve suspected that my husband has been fooling around at our bowling club, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Lynne

Write to Dorothy Dix if you have any problems

Dear Lynne, What’s the problem? Your husband is hopeless in bed anyway!

Dorothy Dix

Strange Oxy-Moronic Questions

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hanks to John Forkin who sent in these question

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

3. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?

4. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

5. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

6. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

7. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

8. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

9. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?

Closing times and over the holidays

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lease note that the club will be closed on Tuesday 25 December and Wednesday 26 December 2012 as well as on News Year’s Day Tuesday 1 January 2013.

Monday 24 December and Monday 31 December will be normal club days.

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Men to please note that Trevor has agreed to run Popsticks on Thurday 27 December.

There will also be Popsticks on Thursday 3 January. (Organiser still required)

Some final thoughts from your Editor

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special thanks to all the contributors to this newsletter. We still receive more jokes and funny stories then we can accommodate. So if your contribution is not included we apologise. Please keep sending!

We still tend to criticise our volunteers when they do something we do not agree with.

In the latest Jack Hi, Pat Butler the President of Bowls WA said: Every club has one or more members who never seem to be satisfied with what in the main, their own volunteers are providing. Perhaps each of us before we start firing the arrows need to remind ourselves that clubs cannot survive without the committed volunteer;which allows the rest of us to simply turn up on our prescribed playing date and play the game we enjoy. Let’s all take responsibility for supporting those who support us in playing the game we love.

So please stop having a go at our volunteers. Without them you may have to take over their duties!

Finally! Denise and I would like to wish all our readers a very happy Christmas and a great 2013 with plenty of high qualiy bowls, croquet and darts! – Neville and Denise

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A New Guess Who?

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he Guess Who Competition in our September Newsletter generated a lot of interest so here are some more old photos of members for you to identify. The first correct entry will win a bottle of wine.

C A

D

B Jot your answers onto a bit of paper or send an e-mail to Neville Odell at nevodell@ bigpond.net.au

E F 39

A

B

“Guess Who” results from September Newsletter

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he first person to correctly identify that couple A are John and Phillipa Collishaw and couple B are Ray and Emily Dunn was Monique Kopec. Well done Monique. Please collect your bottle of wine from Greg Day. Emily Dunn thought “A” was Frank and Beryl Tutt. Others suggested May and Bill Leyland, Kevin Cook and Jan Cook, Anne and Frank Lilley and Ian and Liz Marshall.

A number of members recognised Ray and Emily Dunn in “B” but Monique was the only entry to correctly identify both couples.

Answers To Quiz on Page 28 1. Boxing.

2. Niagara Falls. (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)

3. Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. Strawberry.

5. It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6. Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...

7. Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. Lettuce.

9. Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

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Winner of the caption competition Well done to Ron Kuziela who sent in the three clever captions. He wins a bottle of wine sponsored by Greg Day. Ron’s captions are shown below:

Greg was told to get rid of some old bowling bags that were in there

B A It has to be “H” and Judy – But – Where’s the ice?

Thanks to Ken Vercoe for his suggestion for photo “C” Who said “Kiwis” were not “Mad Hatters”

C Emily! – I think we’re in trouble – I told the staff to make the same hat as mine and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!

Please support our sponsors and advertisers 41

New Years Eve Special Event at SBC

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Show your Sorrento Bowling Club membership card at Brumby’s Bakery in Darch and receive a 25% discount on in- house baked items 43

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