Our new Governing Council – from left to right: Clive Adams (inset), Wayne Gray, John Abercrombie, Brian Lucas, Ian Wittber, Pat Dichiera and Pauline Marsden (inset)
Sorrento Bowling Club Newsletter
(Including Darts and Croquet)
Number 62 August 2015
Contents Office Bearers and Committee Members 2015/16 Around our Club President’s Report Some notes from your Editors Sorrento’s Midweek Division 4 Blue team Getting to know our new Governing Council Men’s Captain’s Report The “Rogues” Gallery “Spider and Tiger” – Part 2 Hot Hints from Heardie Why a Positive Attitude is Important Men’s Match Committee Report Thanks to the Soup Ladies! Winners: Trevors Carpets Mixed Fours Day All the action: Trevors Carpets Mixed Fours Day Some Riddles Completed or Finished Umpires’ Corner Jan goes to Orang-utan Land Croquet Corner News Romance Ladies Selection Report Greens and Grounds Message from the Ladies Vice Captain Darts Club Report Latest on Jim Woodward It’s a Small World Our Travelling Bowlers and their Wives Our Black and White Evening Thanks to Derek Smith Mike’s Cleaning Services – Our Club’s newest sponsors Tribute to Cedric Whitham (1924 – 2015) Answers to Riddles on Page 30 Tribute to Dennis Saunders (1929-2015) Tribute to Kath Muriel Joy (1935-2015) From the Archives Letters Ray Green
4 6 7 9 10 16 18 19 20 22 23 23 25 26 27 30 30 32 32 33 37 37 37 38 39 40 40 41 42 44 44 45 45 46 47 48 51 53
Office Bearers and Committee Members 2015/16 GOVERNING COUNCIL President Vice President (Operations) Vice President (Sports & Participation) Adviser to the Council Appointed Director Office Manager Club Treasurer MEN’S BOWLS COMMITTEE Captain Vice Captain Secretary Greens & Grounds Match Chairman Selectors Chairman Umpires Rep Bowls WA Delegate Coaches Rep
Brian Lucas Wayne Gray John Abercrombie Clive Adams Pauline Marsden Ian Wittber Pat Dichiera John Godfrey Ken Giles Ray Stapledon Kevin Cook Trevor Orton Still to be agreed Jim Ironside Jim Ironside Brian Clausen
MEN’S MATCH COMMITTEE
Gavan Ebsworth, Ken Giles, Trevor Orton, Barry Stewart
MEN’S SELECTION COMMITTEE
Brian Self, Rob Tozer, Derry Ellis, Lindsay Baker, Ron Burroughs
WOMENS’ BOWLS COMMITTEE Captain Vice Captain Secretary Match Chair Selectors Chair Bowls WA Delegate House & Social
Sharon Eggers Pauline Bourne June Gregory Pauline Marsden Jan Cook Anne Lilley Trish Cunningham
WOMEN’S MATCH COMMITTEE
Lee Leach, Pauline Marsden, Jackie Maxwell, Nerrida Porteous, Coral Smith
WOMEN’S SELECTION COMMITTEE Clair Hanlon, Jan Cook, Jan Paniperis, Kath Harris, Wendy Saul GREENS /GROUNDS COMMITTEE
Kevin Cook, Warren Elliott, Ken Vercoe, Derry Ellis, Alan Rolls
BAR COMMITTEE
James Baker, Glenn Boston, Kevin Coffey, Gavan Ebsworth, Rick Munt
HOUSE & SOCIAL PATRONS
Elizabeth Boyce, Judy Campbell, Jan Cook, Trish Cunningham, Jenni Lockwood, Wendy Saul, Marie Smart Troy Pickard and Tony Krsticevic
APPOINTED POSITIONS Assistant Treasurer Technology & Communications Volunteer Coordinator Safety & Occupational Health Member Welfare (Women) Membership Marketing/Sponsorship Auditor Returning Officer
Ron Taylor Ian Wittber Ken Giles Darren Anstee Jean Baker Geoff Murray Brian Self Dion Smith Tony Friedlieb
CROQUET COMMITTEE Croquet Captain Vice-Captain Croquet Secretary Match & Competition Convenor Social & Welfare Officer Maintenance Coordinator
Di McGivern Pat Hobson Di McGivern Robyn Rowe Margot Bindeman Harley (Mack) Williamson
Around our Club
Above: Bevan Heathcote, John Murphy and Dick Oates enjoying a beer at our Club Right: Robyn enjoying a glass of Paul’s best wine
Greg Taylor and his wife June at the Alkoomi Wine Tasting having won the raffle for the wine basket
The Mad Hatter and Alice in Wonderland at their grand-daughter’s birthday
Brian Lucas, Caroline McCutcheon and Keith Cooper
President’s Report
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i Members, In my address to members at the conclusion of the June 2015 AGM, I acknowledged the tremendous time and effort that our volunteers have contributed over the past two years, ranging from the President and his Executive Committee members, to the numerous Club committees and sub-committees and the many volunteers who help out with the greens, bar, kitchen, our officials and around the Club generally. Thank you. All bowling clubs, including Sorrento, face many challenges to not only continue to prosper but to indeed survive. 2015/16 will be another challenging year for the Club and one of considerable change. The formation of the Governing Council is one example. The Governing Council will focus on strategic and business issues, allowing the two new Vice Presidents and their committees and sub-committees greater autonomy, responsibility and accountability to deal with the operational side of running your Club, ably supported by the Office Manager and Treasurer. I welcome Pauline Marsden’s appointment to the Council and also that of Clive Adams (Regional Manager for WA with Bowls Australia) who has generously agreed to provide assistance and advice to the Council. The new look management structure of the Club represents much more than a cosmetic change. The role of the President changes dramatically from one that previously had a fair level of autonomy, control and decision-making to one that is now more externally focused and works to support the Governing Council and its members. Already we are seeing the two Vice Presidents working with their respective committees to get things happening. In past years we may have been waiting for the next Executive Committee meeting to happen. I would ask members also to both appreciate and respect the efforts that your elected representatives are putting in on your behalf. I have been informed that a small number of members were quite confronting to the Men’s Bowls Captain over changes introduced to the Saturday nominated triples competition. This is not on. I am sure that the people who you the members have placed in these position welcome constructive feedback but they do not have to tolerate verbal abuse – remember that the Code of Conduct requires all members to act with respect towards each other and offensive or abusive language is not permitted under any circumstances.
On the positive side, I met with the Mayor of Joondalup and his senior officers last week to discuss working together and also with the CEO of BowlsWA and Clive Adams. Soon I will be meeting with local politicians and the Presidents of other bowling clubs to discuss areas of mutual interest. Work has started on a new strategic plan titled “Continuing to Thrive through 2025 – planning for the next ten years”. This will be a ten-year vision that will build upon the work contained in our current 2020 Vision that has now been in operation for seven years. Again the Plan will focus on our six key performance areas, namely: 1. Our financial viability – developing operational budgets and capital investment plans to secure our financial position and investment plans for the future. 2. Membership and Marketing – Bowls membership across the metropolitan area has reduced by almost 20% over the past five years. Although Sorrento’s reduction has been less (around 11%) it has still reduced and our average membership age has increased to 70. Our plan is improve our recruitment strategies with a focus on the 45-60 year age group. We plan to increase our membership from 550 to around 700. Members can help by encouraging family and friends to join the Club. 3. Club Environment – keeping the Club innovative, vibrant, energetic and happy. We have great volunteers but still need more and for our members to do more, even if it’s only taking their empty glasses and bottles back to the bar. 4. Bar Operations and Club Usage – addressing the recent fall in Club patronage which impacts on our revenue through our bar operations. With the help of the House and Social Committee we plan to increase the number of things happening in the Club such as dinner dances and other events and encourage more members to use the Club. 5. Bowls Performance – Our ladies did exceptionally well last season with promotion to Premier division. Our men not quite as well with 1 White being demoted, but across the board they still performed credibly with a number of promotions. The VP Sports and Participation will be working with the Captains to increase bowls and croquet events and participation and to improve our competitive performance. 6. Greens and Grounds – the past few years have been challenging but with our new green keeper on board we plan to return to our previous reputation of having the best grass grounds in the State. All in all I think your Governing Council and committees have a solid foundation
from which to launch the Club’s next exciting chapter. Again on a positive note, during late July and for much of August I will be joining your VP Operations and Office Manager enjoying the warmth of the Kimberley and Coral Bay/Exmouth. Sorry about that (for those who are shivering down south) but you are in good hands with John Abercrombie (acting President) and the remaining GC members. I thank you in advance for your support and I welcome aboard our new and continuing Governing Council, committee and subcommittee members and our many loyal and dedicated volunteers and Club members. – Brian Lucas
Some notes from your Editors – Neville and Denise Odell If you would like to comment or contribute to our newsletter please contact Denise or Neville on 9309 3108 or e-mail us at nevodell@bigpond.net.au BRICKBATS, BOUQUETS, CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS Once again we have had positive comments about our May 2015 newsletter. These are always appreciated as a lot of work goes into each newsletter. A special word of thanks to Alan Rolls who helped with the proof reading while Jan Paniperis was swanning around Borneo. There were however a few brickbats. Alan Wood was unhappy with the photo of himself and Coral Smith on the cover of the last newsletter as he did not believe it was a true representation of himself and made this known to your Editor. However, a week or so later he sidled up to me and said sheepishly that having put his glasses on when looking at himself in the mirror, he realised that not only is he having trouble with his hearing, but apparently his eyesight is distorted as well!
Sorrento’s Midweek Division 4 Blue team
Back: Alan Wood, Derek Smith, Alan Walton, Tony Pilgrim, Alan Rolls, Pat Dichiera, Merv Spence. Front: Ron Burroughs, Kevin Coffey, Richard Fermoyle, Dion Smith and Tony Bourne Well done to Sorrento’s Midweek Division 4 Blue team who finished their 18 games top of Division 4. They were 17 points clear and assured of promotion for 2016. Unfortunately they finished half a point short of a home finals round for the Pennant. They were drawn to play Wanneroo at Forrestfield but the greens there received so much storm damage and the match was re-scheduled to be played at Sorrento. This elimination final was comfortably won and the team headed off the following Thursday to Forrestfield, the other winners, for the final. The indications early on were that this was going to be a hard fought game. One rink found themselves several shots down but Skip Ian Marshall got them just in front and by end 18 Sorrento was ahead on all rinks. Sadly Forrestfield won all rinks the next end and the margin remained close enough for either side to win on the last end. The home team outplayed us and won the match 8 shots up. Spirits remained high as we played well but were beaten by a better team on the day and proud of our success, the final being only our 3rd loss for the season. Well done to all players especially after our playing ranks were raided mid-season to help out a struggling 3 Blue team who did avoid relegation. – Tony Bourne 10
Ron Burroughs was concerned we did not publish the specially arranged photograph of the successful Thursday Men’s 4 Blue Pennant team. Yours truly got a bit confused (what’s new!) between 4th Division Gold and 4th Division Blue! So the missing photograph has been included in this newsletter. (See photo alongside.) One reader said he enjoyed the jokes in the newsletter but thought some were a bit close to the line! Another reader complained that it had taken him three days to read the May newsletter. He is obviously a very slow reader. A lady reader was pleased that the women were better represented this time round. It was explained to her that we battle a bit to get contributions from the ladies especially “Did you knows”. We try and make sure there is a balance between the men and the women as well as trying to make sure the Croquet and Darts sections get a mention. SOME MORE “DID YOU HEAR” AND “DID YOU KNOW” STORIES Did you hear that Bob Mulroy and Neville Odell had to forfeit their prize money in the Yokine Friday afternoon pairs competition? The organisers refused to pay them as they had failed to enter their names onto the score-card. Did you hear students at a UK school have found an unusual way to unwind between revision sessions? Instead of slumping in front of the TV or Xbox, these stressed out teens are shooting the breeze with a sedate game of bowls. “It’s quite a slow game and you have to be very precise,” the Head of Citizenship explains. “Unlike competitive sports, such as football or rugby, the emphasis in bowls is on very subtle and gentle movements and there isn’t the pressure of winning, which can prove too much for students during exams”. Did you know that next year the 60th South Pacific “Never Bowling Carnival will be taking place at the Suva argue with stupid Bowling Club in Fiji? If you are interested in taking part in this special event have a chat with people, they will drag Pauline Marsden. Pauline tells us that in Fiji you down to their level the giving and receiving of Club shirts is an and then beat you with important friendship tradition. Did you know that one of the members of the Yokine Bowling club, Wayne Coffey, buys every new member a beer? He does this to help make new members welcome at Yokine. 11
experience.” – Mark Twain
Did you know that when Dick Currie was wheel chair bound and recovering from his fall, Helen his wife would dump him at the corner of the green for his mates to baby-sit him while she went shopping? Allegedly she would give one of his mates $10 to buy Dick a beer if he got thirsty! Did you know that Alan Diver, a bowler from Yanchep, has “69” as a logo on his bowls? When asked about the significance of the “69” he told your Editor that his mates had got together and paid the $50 for this special and unique logo specially designed to commemorate his nickname! Did you hear that a Tasmanian lawn bowler accused of repeatedly punching an opponent after a game has been found not guilty of causing grievous bodily harm. The Hobart Supreme Court jury took just under three hours to acquit Robert John Smith, 66, of the charge. It was a unanimous verdict. Mr. Smith was accused of striking his opponent, Michael Hughes, to the head after a disagreement about whose bowl was closest to the jack. The court heard there were accusations of cheating during the match. Outside court, Mr. Smith said he was relieved. “I’m just pleased that the jury reached the right decision,” he said. Mr. Smith said he would be back playing bowls soon. “And I’ll never kick the bowls away again,” he said. Did you know that when Ray Green was a teenager and lived in Collie he had a postal delivery route to earn some money? His supervisor was concerned that his three hour route took three days! On investigation it was established that there were a number of young single mothers in Collie and these allegedly caused some delays. Ray told us that Jan Cook was a sexy young nurse in Collie and actually nursed his father. When asked for a “Did you know/hear” about Jan he said: “What happens in Collie stays in Collie”. Did you know that if you buy Bob Mulroy a beer he will show you how to tango, quickstep or waltz? Apparently in his youth he was a hot-shot ballroom dancer. Do you know what a “Goldilocks bowl” is? Have you ever bowled one? Well – it is a bowl that is “just right” like Goldilocks’ porridge! Did you know that Vonnie King and Fay Jennings are on a four month around the world cruise? We look forward to hearing all about their holiday. Did you know archaeologists have actually uncovered stone bowls that are from 5000 BC? It was in Caesar’s time that bowls is believed to have been taken to Britain by the northern legions and it spread to the world, 12
Did you know that the world’s oldest surviving bowling green is the Southampton Old Bowling Green in England which was first used in 1299? Did you hear that a NSW Bowling Club is upset about the 30% increase in capitation fees and is questioning the need for administration at three levels – district, zone and state? Some think Bowls NSW and Bowls Australia are top-heavy in administration. Apparently the following bodies are looking after bowler’s interests in Sydney: • seven board members, • the chief executive officer, • an executive secretary, • an office manager, • two membership administration officers, • a finance officer, • a sports development manager and a sport co-ordinator, • a program co-ordinator, • a coaching administration co-ordinator, • a magazine marketing manager and a communications co-ordinator, • plus sundry others with less ostentatious titles. Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ? Where do they go? Wonder no more ! ! !It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing: “Freeze a jolly good fellow.” “Freeze a jolly good fellow.” You really didn’t believe that I know anything about penguins, did you? Did you know that Curtin University are running a number of studies looking at the health and wellbeing in Australian seniors aged 60+ who are fully retired? All the studies are aimed at providing a snapshot of the current physical and mental wellbeing of seniors and assess attitudes to a range of health issues including diet, exercise, social interaction, and community interaction. The ultimate goal is to provide recommendations to the government for future investments for healthy ageing. Each of the studies have different eligibility criteria and different time commitments. Some involve payments. If you are interested in finding out more, please contact Dr. Michelle Jongenelis on 9266 2944 or e-mail michelle.jongenelis@curtin.edu.au. Did you know United Nations Statistics recently released from the United Nations 13
reveal that Australian, Canadian, NZ, UK and US men between 50 and 75 years of age, will, on average, have sex two to three times per week, whereas Japanese men, in the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year? This is very upsetting news to most of my friends and me, as we had no idea we were Japanese! Did you know that “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet? Thanks to Monique Kopec for this useful bit of information. SOME OTHER BITS AND PIECES Helloworld, one of our major sponsors has asked that we promote their tour to New Zealand as per their advert alongside. There is a $100 per person saving for bookings made on or before 31 July 2015. Thanks to Trevor for running the “Extended Twilight Bowls”. Members enjoyed this innovation and hope it will continue next season. There was an interesting game in April. (See score card alongside.) On green C4 the Leaches played the “Tosser and Bangs” combination. Some thought this Tosser was a new member but on investigation discovered it was in fact Rob Tozer. It is pleasing to note that your Editors are not the only ones who battle to ensure no one’s name is mis-spelt! For the record “Tosser and Bangs” won the game although they only won seven of the sixteen ends. Note from your Editor: When Googling “Tosser” to find out more we discovered that only men are referred to as tossers. A man can be a “bit of a tosser” or a “right tosser” but not a woman!. Just like “he is a bit of a bastard” this can be considered a term of endearment! Once again you can rely on our newsletter for some useful information! Finally thank you to Sharon Eggers for her photographs of bowlers on the Trevors Carpets Mix Fours Day (see page 27) – Neville Odell 14
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Getting to know our new Governing Council
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he Sorrento Bowling Club’s Governing Council convened their first meeting in June. Its membership comprises the President (Brian Lucas), Vice PresidentOperations (Wayne Gray), Vice President-Sport and Participation (John Abercrombie), Office Manager (Ian Wittber), Treasurer (Pat Dichiera) and appointed members Pauline Marsden and Clive Adams. In a different approach from previous Executive Committees, the Vice Presidents, Office Manager and Treasurer assume more responsibility and accountability for their portfolios, leaving the Governing Council to focus on strategic and business issues rather than operational aspects. A bit of background information on each member: President Brian Lucas held the position of Chair of Bar from October 2014 before taking on his present role as President. He previously served as President in 2011 and 2012; Treasurer in 2008 and 2009 and Deputy President in 2007. Over the past twenty years he has also taken on the roles of either President or Treasurer of the Dart club. Brian was awarded Life Membership in 2013. Prior to semi-retiring in 2010 Brian was CEO of a number of TAFE institutes. He currently works part-time for an advertising agency owned by one of his sons. Vice President (Operations) Wayne Gray joined the Club in 2002, initially to play darts and then as a Pennant player. He has been a member of the Dart Club Committee since 2002 and President and a member of the Executive Committee since 2008. Wayne has been a generous sponsor of the Club and has handled infrastructure issues on behalf of the Club since 2008. Wayne was Director and owner of a successful commercial engineering company until recently when he sold the business and moved into a part time consulting role. Vice President Sports and Participation John Abercrombie whose nickname is “ABBA” joined the Club in 1997. He was the Men’s Club Captain in 2004 and Club President from 2003 to 2004. In 2012 he was again appointed Men’s Club Captain, a position he held until 2014. He is extremely proud to be a member of the Club and hopes to play a part in making the Sorrento Bowling Club the best bowling club in WA. He sees his position on the Governing Council as a definite challenge but feels that with the support of all members he is 16
confident we will have a very successful transition to the new structure. He is always open to any suggestions or ideas which will assist in the promoting of bowls, croquet and darts at Sorrento. Treasurer Pat Dichiera joined the Club seven years ago and has served as Treasurer for the past two years. Pat is a Chartered Accountant and member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants in Australia since 1975 with experience in Taxation and Business Consulting. He retired from Mack & Co., Chartered Accountants where he was a foundation partner in 2006 and now provides business consulting services to select clients. Office Manager Ian Wittber is a long term member of our Club joining back in 1986. He soon became involved with the Executive Committee, serving in various capacities for over twenty years, including six years as President and about the same number of years as Secretary. He has also been the Chair of Selectors and Deputy President. In recognition of his services, Ian was awarded Life Membership in 2009. Due to health reasons Ian gave up bowls in 2010. Now that his health has improved and he has moved to a retirement village he is keen to get back into it and, apart from his annual trek to warmer climes in July and August, will embrace the newly formed position with anticipation. Ian’s working life was occupied with 40 years at the National Australia Bank. Director Pauline Marsden values the welcoming community spirit she experienced when she joined the Club in 2011. In turn, her commitment to being of service to the Sorrento Club Community resulted in her taking on the role of Umpire. She then gained her RSA and Approved Manager status and joined the team of volunteer bar staff. Pauline was invited to be a member of the Match Committee in 2014. Her background in Social Work, Art Therapy and Theology has given her extensive experience in providing a comprehensive, quality service to the consumers and management of human service organisations. She considers it a privilege to be invited to be a member of the Governing Council and believes all members of the Club will benefit from their innovative and creative vision of growth and prosperity. Adviser to Council Clive Adams is the Bowls Australia Regional Bowls Manager for WA. Clive’s role is quite varied covering areas of club governance, membership, grants and sponsorship, and many other aspects of Club Development. Ultimately, Clive is about increasing participation in our great sport. 17
Clive’s role is mirrored around the country, creating a wonderful array of resources to which the Club will have access. Clive’s experience playing our game at club, state and national levels will be very useful in helping shape the future of our Club. As a player, Clive has visited Australian clubs far and wide, as well as overseas in New Zealand and the UK. He is a respected member of the bowls community and we believe he will bring plenty of expertise to our Governing Council. We are thrilled to have him on board! – Neville Odell
Men’s Captain’s Report
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his year will mark my 25th year at Sorrento Bowls Club and I feel so privileged to be the 2015-2106 Men’s Club Captain during my 25th year.
Over the past 25 years I have witnessed the highs and the lows the Club has experienced. As the Men’s Club Captain I want to do my utmost to help make our Club the best club in Western Australia. I would like to see our Club united in all sports i.e. Men’s Bowls, Ladies’ Bowls, Darts and Croquet, as one working group with the same goals. Since 1976 when our Club was formed, Saturday Bowls, both summer and winter, have always been “Men’s Day”. I believe Men’s Pennants during the summer should stay as it is but during the wintertime the greens should be open to everybody. I surveyed 38 clubs both metro and country to find out what they did during the winter months to keep their clubs active. Out of the 38 clubs, 32 clubs have mixed bowls on Saturday afternoons. One club stated that it would not be worth opening on a Saturday during the winter if it wasn’t for mixed bowls and the TAB. On Saturday 4 July 2015 we introduced a mixed event for the first time in 39 years. We had two greens full with ten ladies participating. In my estimation it was a successful day. Sadly we had a few unhappy men who felt their Men Only Day had been violated and taken from them. The beauty of the mixed event is that you can play in an all men team against an all men team. You can mix gender as you want. You don’t have to play with or against the ladies if that is your wish. Some members have implied that their rights have been taken away. This was most certainly not my intention. My intention was for the betterment of our Club, united and working together. 18
The “Rogues” Gallery Phone Crime Stoppers 1800 333 000 19
I would like to thank Trevor Orton and the Match Committee for their support in organizing the day. My thanks also to the ladies who played and supported the afternoon and my appreciation to the male bowlers who acknowledged my efforts. The ladies have also declared Wednesday’s Mixed Pairs as Mixed as you want i.e. two Men or two Women or mixed. This is what I call United. For the year 2015-2016, Trevor Orton will be Chairman of the Match Committee, Kevin Cook will again be Chairman of Greens and Jim Ironside will be our Delegate. As yet the Selection Committee have not met to elect a Chairman. Their meeting should take place during early August. Should anyone wish to contact me, I will be available on mobile number 0409108122 until 8pm, or e-mail: godfrey@snapesremovals.com.au. Once again – thank you for your support. – John Godfrey
“Spider and Tiger” – Part 2
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hink of the term all-rounder in cricket and the names Garfield Sobers and Jacques Kallis immediately spring to mind. Now think of a genuine, every-day allrounder, who lives a lot closer to home, and it’s hard to go past, well, Phillip Webb. Yes, believe it or not, our own “Spider” fits that description to a T, although many at Sorrento would be unaware of the vastness of his CV. The second youngest of five sons, Spider was born in Bendigo, in February 1955, and attended school at Camp Hill (but he says please don’t read anything into that location). During his early days in Bendigo he played Aussie Rules as a rover or on the wing and just like his good mate Tiger Hogan, won a premiership. Spider obtained an apprenticeship as a painter, married Maureen in Bendigo and 20
left town towing a caravan and heading for Brisbane in 1976. Then, not for the first time as he underlined his versatility, Spider put down his paint brush for a while in the Queensland capital and took up a job in a glass cutting factory. Then it was off to Sydney, with Spider and Maureen timing their arrival with the funeral cortege of rock and roll legend Johnny O’Keefe. The Webbs moved to Perth in 1979 and it was not long after that Spider’s amazing flamboyancy in a number of areas really started to surface. For example, Spider has quite a reputation for his prowess in making his own beer, cider, beef jerky, olives and chilli relish. As well, he has been known to knock up a pretty mean Indian meal. Not only that, Spider has tried his hand at darts, golf, indoor cricket and flying both kites and a glider. He has made several parachute jumps from low level heights into the ocean near Leighton Beach but has it on his wish list to do a tandem jump from 14,000 feet at Jurien Bay. Then there was the time Spider ventured up the Murchison River, near Kalbarri, in a canoe and shot a feral goat with a bow and arrow. Now that’s the sort of stuff you would see in a Rambo movie. The list goes on, with Spider also having done a lot of scuba diving with many a crayfish off Rottnest Island paying the ultimate sacrifice because of his underwater ability. He tells a good darts story when, with a 180 litre keg of port lurking menacingly in the background, he was instructed by his partner Barry Bradshaw to throw a double two. Barry splayed his index and middle finger on the exact spot he wanted Spider to aim for but had not retracted his hand from the board when Spider’s dart thudded with unerring accuracy between his two fingers for a winner. But if Barry was aghast at the time he should not have been because Spider apparently knew what he was doing.
Spider loves dressing up!
He would have to be without doubt dart’s version of the mis-spent youth syndrome with a staggering list of achievements in the sport. For starters, he was the Marmion Angling and Aquatic Club singles champion six times between 1994 and 2010 and shared the doubles trophy half a dozen times. Throw in the Greenwood and Sorrento Darts Clubs and West Coast Darts Association 21
and another five titles can be added. And those who frequent the Kingsley and Greenwood Taverns can also vouch for his ability to throw down a cold beer and a hot dart. The fishing stories, involving Barry and Frank Bomford’s boats, were not always from the etiquette manuals with an anchor once being tossed overboard without having first been attached to a rope. But it hasn’t been all beer and skittles for Spider. After a stint drilling for gas and oil at Noonkanbah, near Fitzroy Crossing, he began working for a mate erecting steel rigging. But one day Spider fell a sickening 17 feet onto a concrete floor and suffered severe head injuries. So severe in fact that he lost his power of speech and during a lengthy stint in hospital had to be taught by a therapist how to talk again. One day during that protracted process the therapist gave Spider a list of eight words and asked if he could use each one of them in a separate sentence. The first seven words presented a problem for Spider and he remained silent, but the last word on the list was “wish”. Suddenly Spider was back in action, “I wish I hadn’t had that fall,” he blurted out. That catastrophic accident was also directly related to Spider later becoming seriously ill with meningitis, but once again he cheated the hangman – so to speak. He dipped his toe into the water by playing corporate bowls at Sorrento seven or eight years ago and was bitten by the bug . Last Pennant season Spider was a member of the Club’s division four gold squad which won the grand final to earn promotion into next season’s Saturday division three competition. With his Skipper Rob Tozer urging him on from the other end, it would have been a cinch for this “Spiderman” of much talent and tenacity to get his bowl somewhere near the kitty. – Jim Woodward
Hot Hints from Heardie Ten important points in the delivery
1. Weight towards balls of the feet with knees relaxed. 2. Eyes focused along the aiming line. 3. Forearm of bowling arm running down towards the wrist 4. Shoulders square to the line of delivery. 5. Allow the weight of the bowl to determine the back-swing. 6. Take a normal walking step ( knee of back leg close to rear of front leg). 22
7. Stepping as the bowling arm straightens at the bottom of the back- swing for correct timing and co-ordination. 8. A firm straight arm as the jack or bowl is released. At the time the bowl is released most of the weight will be on the left foot or forward foot. 9. Bowling arm finishing not much higher than the forward knee. 10. Stepping forward off the mat after the jack or bowl has been delivered and has travelled at least four metres. Finally remember to relax and have fun!
– Graeme Heard
Why a Positive Attitude is Important
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ate in the night, he finally regained consciousness. He was in the hospital, agonizing in pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obviously in a life-threatening situation. The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then spoke to him slowly and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable, “You may not feel anything from the waist down.” Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, “Can I feel your boobs, then?” AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE! – Anon
Men’s Match Committee Report Easter Carnival 18 teams registered for each of the two days of the annual Easter Carnival. The format was “Versatility Fours” with two matches of 15 ends of fours and one 16-end match of “Split Pairs”. The weather proved magnificent for both days, and the greens were in excellent condition. Saturday Winners 1. Carmel Hyde, Lorraine Hyde, Ken Giles, Chris Tibbits 2. Shelley Jeffs, Cheryl Benn, Bob Jeffs, Steve Benn 3. Liz Marshall, Judy Campbell, Brent Marshall, Ian Marshall 4. Eleanor Adams, Nola Mullumby, Ken Partridge, Frank Bomford 23
Monday Winners 1. J Bradshaw, Trish Cunningham, J Martins, Ross Cunningham 2. Wendy Saul, Pauline Bourne, Tony Bourne, Brian Saul 3. Jenni Lockwood, Sharon Eggers, Kevin Coffey, Russell Lockwood 4. A Smith, D Robinson, Ross Porteous, Nerrida Porteous Trevors Carpets Mixed Handicap Fours Thanks again to Ray Green’s exceptional generosity and sponsorship, this event – jointly and expertly run by the Women’s and Men’s Match Committees – was held over two days on the Anzac Day long weekend. Slightly more handicap points were available for this event than in previous years, so a field of 18 teams was assembled for this two-day event. Once again the weather gods favoured us and allowed us to play five rounds over the two days. Overall Winners Runners-up Third Round 1 Round 2 Round 3 Round 4 Round 5
June Gregory, Ray Green, Barry Bradshaw, Bruce Eagles Wendy Saul, Shelley Jeffs, Bob Jeffs, Brian Saul Nola Mullumby, Nelly Heard, Kevin Scammell, Graeme Heard Denise Odell, Eddie Tassone, Neville Odell, Trevor Orton Lorna Glew, Danny Condon, Tiger Hogan, Warren Elliott Fran Bracknell, Pauline Bourne, Tony Bourne, John Abercrombie Sylvia and Neil McLaughlan and Stan and Robyn Van Mosseveld, Coral Smith, John Smith, Ken Giles, Tony Sabatino
Only one team failed to win a match, but all players had a great time, thanks to Ray Green and his generous support. Trevors Carpets Men’s Handicap Fours After a very wet preceding weekend, it was with some trepidation that I anticipated the men’s handicap event on 23 May. But I need not have worried – the weather was magnificent, and the greens at their usual high early winter standard. Thanks to the ladies who volunteered to provide both morning tea and lunch; they were very much appreciated. Twenty evenly-balanced teams entered for this 3-round event. The handicap format always leads to some entertaining combinations, with newer bowlers given the opportunity to play with some better-credentialed bowlers. All match winners were 24
Thanks to the Soup Ladies!
Special thanks to Wendy Saul, Wendy Wright, Robyn van Mosseveld, Jan Paniperis, Pauline Bourne, Coral Smith, Jenni Lockwood, Carmel Hyde, Shelley Jeffs, Maureen Green, Helen Hodge, Fran Bracknell, Jan Cook, Liz Marshall and John Smith who prepared a selection of delicious soups and morning teas and helped in the kitchens during the Men’s Trevors Carpets Day and the Dash for Cash
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Winners: Trevors Carpets Mixed Fours Day Overall Winners June Gregory, Ray Green, Barry Bradshaw, and Bruce Eagles
Runners -up Wendy Saul, Brian Saul, sponsor Ray Green, Shelley and Bob Jeffs
Third prize Nelly Heard, Nola Mullumby, Kevin Scammell, and Graeme Heard with sponsor Ray Green 26
All the action: Trevors Carpets Mixed Fours Day
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rewarded, and only two teams failed to win a match. Overall winners Bill Long, Frank Bomford, John Abercrombie, John Brown
Runners-up Third Round 1 Round 2 Round 3
Derek Smith, Peter Blake, Alan Wood, Mick Martin Colin Bangs, Derry Ellis, John Collishaw, Tom Nasuti (on his 78th birthday) Neville Odell, Alan Rolls, Rob Tozer, Trevor Orton Lindsay Baker, Ron Taylor, John Sturk, Peter Snow Alan Susta, Ken Vercoe, Brian Saul, Ian Linford
Once again our sincere appreciation to Ray Green and his outstanding benevolence that allows these sponsored events to proceed. Ray even chipped in for “touchers” in each round for each green. Thank you again, Ray. Safeway Security Screens Dash for Cash: May 2015 The first of the 2015 Dashes for Cash took place on Saturday 30th May. This event is played on the last Saturday in the month in May, June, July and August each year, and is generously sponsored by Safeway Security Screens (Barry Bradshaw). The event is open to members of other clubs, and is usually well supported by Quinns Rock Bowling club in particular. This year 16 teams entered. The weather was terrific, and the greens running at 14-15 seconds, so a brilliant day was in promise. Some very close matches were witnessed in the 4 rounds of 11 ends played. Lunch was provided by a small posse of ladies led by Coral Smith and Jan Cook, and was very much enjoyed by the bowlers. Thanks ladies. Only three teams managed to win all four matches – including a team “thrown together” on the preceding Thursday when there was a late team withdrawal. Two of the teams who won all four matches achieved identical results with an aggregate of 14 shots up and had to be separated by percentage. In the end the overall winners were Neville 28
Odell, John Sanders, Tim Murray and Trevor Orton (144%), from a Quinns team of Robbie Gray, Steve Newby, Chris Parr and Ian Parker (137%). The “scratch” combination of Bill Long, Darryl Rowland, David Cowell and Roland Hill – who had wins of 2, 2, 1 and 3 shots - was relegated to third. Well done all. The round prizes went to: Round Joe Mola, Derek Smith, Derry Ellis and Ross Cunningham Round 2 Jim Welch, Brian Keily, Peter Snow and John Brown Round 3 Rick Munt, Peter Balcombe, Warren Elliott and Ron Rogers Round 4 Dion Smith, Phil Bilich, Kevin Coffey and Alan Walton Safeway Security Screens Dash For Cash : June 2015 The second of this year’s Dashes for Cash took place on 27 June. Twenty teams entered, for four games of 11 ends of “Fours”. Several visiting teams and a number of guest players were nominated to play. Once again our volunteer ladies (coordinated by Coral Smith) provided a delicious and welcome “soup-and-a-roll” lunch. Thanks ladies. The weather was cool and sunny, and the greens a credit to their maintenance crew, and so a great day was in the offing. And so it proved. At the lunch break, five teams had won both of their matches, but by the completion of the four matches, four teams had recorded all four wins. Overall, one of the visiting Quinn’s team had 28 shots up to win by two shots, with third place a further five shots back. The fourth placed team had wins of 1, 1, 2 and 2 shots. Overall Winners 1. Ian Parker, Chris Parr, Rob Grey, Steve Newbey 2. Ron Rogers, Brian Self, Warren Elliott, Alan Walton 3. Trevor Orton, Tim Murray, John Sanders, Neville Odell Round Winners 1. Tony Sabatino, M Lemos, Fred Stimpson, Eddie Tassone 29
2. Juris Lorencs, Barry Gartrell, R Hicks, Terry Needs 3. Bob Mulroy, Egon Mikolajczyk, Mike McCavana, Stan Van Mosseveld 4. Bruce Eagles, Barry Bradshaw, Rick Munt, Ray Green Morning Round Winner: Keith Cooper, Roland Hill, Phil Bilich, John Smith Afternoon Round Winner: John Sturk, Alan Wood, Bill Long, Pat Dichiera Thanks again to Safeway Security Screens, to the volunteer ladies for the lunch, the other members of the Match Committee, and to my wife Anne, who helped with the scoring. Please note that the next D4C is on 25 July, with the final 2015 event on 29 Aug.
Some Riddles
– Trevor Orton
1. Each morning I appear to lie at your feet. All day I follow no matter how fast you run. Yet I nearly perish in the midday sun. 2. What is it that builds things up; lays mountains low; dries up lakes and makes things grow; cares not a whim about your passing and is like few other things because it is everlasting? 3. This thing runs but cannot walk, sometimes sings but never talks, lacks arms, has hands, lacks a head but has a face. 4. We hurt without moving. We poison without touching. We bear the truth and the lies. We are not to be judged by our size. What are we? 5. What surrounds the world yet dwells within a thimble? Answers on page 45
Completed or Finished
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o dictionary has ever been able to satisfactorily define the difference between “complete” and “finished.” However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in London , England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world. Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was the presenter when he was asked to make that very distinction. The question put to him by a colleague in the erudite audience was this: “Some say there is no difference between ‘complete’ and ‘finished.’ Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.” 30
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Mr..Balgobin’s response: “When you marry the right woman, you are ‘complete.’ If you marry the wrong woman, you are ‘finished.’ And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ‘completely finished.” His answer received a five minute standing ovation.
– Jan Paniperis
Umpires’ Corner New Umpires, Measurers and Markers
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n January 2015 Bowls Australia introduced a new accreditation process for officials (umpires, measurers and markers), in association with the Australian Sports Commission’s - National Officiating Accreditation Scheme. This scheme is used by many sporting bodies in Australia (including AFL and Cricket Australia) to accredit their umpires and other officials. As part of the new process Bowls Australia introduced an accreditation course for markers, which qualifies them to perform the role of a marker at club, district, state and national level. At the last Bowls WA training course in May the following members achieved accreditation or re-accreditation as follows, Umpires (including accreditation as measurer and marker) – Ron Magerl, Eleanor Adams, Sharon Eggers and Nerrida Porteous. Measurer – Russell Lockwood Marker – Judy Campbell. Congratulations to all of the above for their efforts in achieving their accreditation. The next Bowls WA training course for umpires, measurers and markers will be later this year, around September, and I encourage all bowlers to consider taking up one or more of these roles. Officials are an important and necessary part of the successful running of the Club’s events and competitions. – Jim Ironside
Jan goes to Orang-utan Land
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an Paniperis, Marilyn Thorp and two other friends, Judy Ethridge and Suzie McPhee, had a wonderful ten days in Borneo ticking off a couple of items from their bucket lists – seeing orang-utans and celebrating the centenary of Anzac day. 32
The Sarong Sisters flew off bright and early (and I mean early but maybe not so bright) and landed in Sandakan some 12 hours later. After finding their rooms and sorting their luggage, they immediately headed to the bar where it had been espied that it was Happy Hour and that cocktails could be imbibed at half price! This set the tone for the remainder of the ten days, as in each of the resorts they stayed in coincidentally there was always a Happy Hour for cocktails. In fact at the last place they stayed in, the Shangri-La in Kota Kinabalu, the magnificent and rightly named Sunset Bar almost became their home away from home! They did indeed see all manner of animals – pygmy elephants (because they are slightly smaller than their African and Indian cousins, not because they are cute and little), many different varieties of fish and brightly coloured birds, an over four metre crocodile which was heading their way when on a night cruise down the Kinabatangan River, proboscis monkeys and of course the orang-utans and sun bears. However, the highlight of the holiday was without doubt the Anzac Day dawn service at the Sandakan War Memorial, it was very moving. So now on to the next item on the bucket list ………… – Jan Paniperis
Croquet Corner News “Volunteers are not paid, not because they are worthless but because they are priceless”
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s with past years our outgoing Club Captain, Judith Skeet, wanted to present a last newsletter article for the Club. I volunteered to take on this task, on her behalf and with her input, as computing skills are not her strong point. Over the past five years we have seen the Croquet Corner through numerous changes – the main one being that the Croquet section is seen as being very much a part of the Bowling & Dart Club, rather than a separate entity. We are a Combined
Sports Club.
Due to the times that Croquet is played, we are often not seen around the club by the bowlers and others and therefore not seen to be participating in the Club’s growth. However, over the past few years, we have worked hard to change this perception by 33
joining in Club activities; being involved in Ladies’ Gala Day; joining “Joan’s bus” on trips to the Crown Casino, helping in the kitchen for Corporate Bowls; having a Croquet Night on the same night and joining in the Sausage Sizzle. For the past three years we have held our annual Christmas Party at the Club; we have a Croquet ‘Happy Hour’ once a month and, more recently have changed the times of play of our games to include two afternoons a week, coming into the club for a drink at the bar, or a coffee, when other club members are there. In 2015, we held a combined Trophy Night with the Bowling section for the first time. The list goes on..... It is progress. Below are some of the changes that have occurred in the Croquet area in the past years. It has been a combined effort by members of the collective Sorrento Sports Club. (Too many to name them all.) We now have: 1. A sign with our Club logo on the hill behind our courts. 2. A new equipment shed, patio extensions and shade areas. 3. Shelves in our shed. 4. Brick paving around our area, which was extended thanks to the donation of bricks that had to be lifted, carted, and laid. Many Club and family members were involved in making that happen. 5. The limestone wall has been cleaned and rewashed, 6. Two flood lights have been installed (hopefully with a third on the way). 7. Croquet Courts have been re-surveyed and the small court made larger thereby enabling more competitions to be held at the Club. 8. Our greens are in top notch condition, and meeting Croquetwest requirements, thanks to Kevin Cook and his band of helpers. 9. Our “Garden Guru”, Robyn Rowe, has done a lot of work in transforming our corner from yellow sand to a bevy of greenery and colour. 10. Our outdoor furniture has been painted and restored. 11. One of past members, Ann Denton, made and donated cushions for all the chairs. 12. We have had the hoops powder coated (thank you to “Safeway Security”). For all of these things to happen there must be a good Committee. Love them or hate them, they are all volunteers who strive for what they see is the best for our Club. The Committee comprises many hard-working people but, there has to be one strong person who leads them. One person who will drive you nuts, and sometimes it is their way or the highway. (I don’t have to mention any names here as I think you all know who I’m talking about.) But like a ‘dog with a bone’, this person gets the message across and gets the work done and their sincerity and acknowledgement of the volunteers/workers is always there. 34
We have recently elected a new Committee who will have fresh ideas. Let’s get behind our Committee and support them where possible. Remember they are all VOLUNTEERS. – Kerry Bomford New Croquet Committee Initiatives The newly-elected Croquet Committee will continue to work with the Bowls and Darts sectors to build onto the cohesiveness already developed between the croquet members and other members of the Club. In pursuit of this, the new Croquet Club Committee would like to invite all Club members to participate in a fun competition in which, over a number of weeks/months, teams comprising two bowlers, one darts player and one croquet player play each other in each other’s sports, earning points for their team - eventually finding the “top mixed team” in the club. The ultimate aim of this invitation is for members of the different sectors to get to know each other better socially, through their sports. Harley (Mack) Williamson, our Safety and Maintenance Officer on the Committee, has donated and installed a white board and light in our shade area to enable competition scores, and other information, to be recorded more easily. He has also repainted our “pegs” and trolleys. Robyn Rowe continues to work hard in our outdoor areas, persuade firms to donate items or give the Club good discounts, and organise events! A big “Thank You” goes to Mack and to Robyn from all croquet members. Ladies’ Day Competition The annual in-house Ladies Singles Golf Croquet competition was a great success, thanks to the organisation by Robyn Rowe, Terry Harvey and Di McGivern. Thanks, too, to all the ladies who participated in the competition helping to make the day a great success. Special thanks to the new members who bravely fronted up for their very first competition. Terry volunteered his services to provide the competition with a referee on the day; so additional thanks go to Terry. The day was Robyn’s first foray into organising such an event and she brought her lovely personal style to the day earning the praise of many appreciative players. Congratulations go to Trish Klemp who won all five of her “Block A” games, and then beat Marion Smith, the winner of “Block B” games, in a fiercely contested final play-off to become the “2015/16 Ladies Singles Golf Champion”. Visitors from New Zealand At the end of May, two lovely people from NZ turned up at the Croquet Club and asked if they could play as visitors while they were “house-sitting” for Karen Murdock. They have been playing with us for seven weeks and have fitted in so well with everyone! We will miss them when they leave on 17th July. However, when they return 35
to the North of North Island to their Club they are going to try to organise a croquet “exchange” between members. They treated us to a delicious morning tea on their last Saturday in Perth. Did you know/hear? Ron Kuziela (our groundsman) was persuaded to try his hand at croquet recently and managed to show up the croquet players by scoring a hoop from right across the court! Barbara Long changed to croquet from playing bowls because she became too good at hitting the “Jack” from left to right and then back again, making the other bowlers feel very “grumpy” toward her! Robyn Rowe organised “The World’s Greatest Morning Tea” event last month and made a significant donation to the Cancer Foundation. Robyn’s affectionate laugh and cheeky manner helped her to get lovely donations from a number of businesses – keep up the great spirit, Robyn! Robyn Rowe managed to “jump” over three balls to score a hoop in a social game at the Club! In the recent inter-club Autumn Nights Competition finals, our two teams in the “C” Grade played against each other for the “Wooden Spoon”. This prestigious award was earned by Judith Skeet and Kerry Bomford after losing to Di McGivern and Graeme Glover!
Crush Shot Dolly Rush, alas, is dead A mallet struck her on the head She acted as a referee When all the others were at tea. They should have told her not to view, So carefully on the follow-through Forthcoming Events Friday 24 July at 9am Thursday 17 September at 12:30pm Friday 18 36 September at 9am
Golf Doubles Championship. The first of bi-monthly “birthday lunches” to be held at the Club, enabling Croquet members to support our Bar. Ricochet Double Championship. – Diana Mcgivern
Romance
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arb was lying in bed one night. Art was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me...” Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my neck...” Angrily, Art threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. “Where are you going?” Barb asked.. “To get my teeth!” – Jan Paniperis
Ladies Selection Report
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e have received quite a few applications from players wishing to play pennants however it is noticeable that some of our regular players are missing. If you are intending to nominate for Pennants this season we ask you to complete a nomination form. These forms are located near the Pennant box on the table near the Men’s Pennant Board at your earliest possible opportunity. We welcome Claire Hanlon to our committee and thank Liz Marshall for her input over the last two years. We also wish to welcome Kathy Gobbart as a player, furthermore her professional coaching ability will assist our club’s coaching team to achieve greater on field results. At this time of the year there is little activity in the selection area however in the next month or two this will change noticeably. We trust you are enjoying the winter bowling or your regular trip to the warmer parts of our State. – Jan Cook
Greens and Grounds
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n May, Alan McFayden was appointed our Greenkeeper. He previously worked as an assistant, then Head greenkeeper at the Sawtell Bowling Club NSW. Sawtell is in the North Western portion of NSW near Coffs Harbour, and this club has been the site where some state finals have been played along with zone play-offs and the like. As an aside Alan’s twin brother works at the Wanneroo Bowling Club and has done so for a few years now. He is comfortably settling in to this job and has implemented some initiatives that will 37
assist us to overcome some deficiencies that exist. Soil samples have been taken and these showed deficiencies on all greens and these tests will enable us to utilise the fertilizers that will assist with improving those deficiencies. As it is non growing season renovations will not take place until the early spring, but minor work will be carried out on “A”, especially the North Western end, where the grass is not growing well and the plinths appear to be low. It was also noticeable to him that the soil was very hard and this may have been brought about by the number of times we had to laser level, some minor verti-mowing has already been done to help alleviate that problem. One problem that is creating concerns, and is very annoying to him, are our friendly earthworms on “C&D”, their castings take the edge off mower blades and look unsightly. Relocation of scoreboards will occur also. He commences work early in the morning and believes in keeping the greens open wherever possible but should the weather be such that the greens may be damaged he will then recommend the closures and we ask for full cooperation from all members. He is a very approachable person and is prepared to advise members what we are doing and why, also if you feel a green has particular problem ask him about it as he and Ron bowl on any rink they feel may have problem to justify their concern or other-wise, but I do ask if you have any complaints please raise them with me and I will obtain a response for you. You may have noticed we have put some blue markers on some of the greens, this has been done at the request of the umpires, and they are to be used to indicate toucher bowls in the ditch, a jack in the ditch is indicated by the white marker. See rule 14.4 page 30 of rule book. – Kevin Cook
Message from the Ladies Vice Captain Hi Ladies, I am writing this in my new role as Ladies Vice Captain. Sharon is enjoying a well- earned holiday in Europe with her daughter. Congratulations to all members of committees’ who will be representing us for this coming bowls year. Welcome to Clair (Selection) , Nerrida, Lee, and Jackie (Match), June (Secretary) and thanks go to both Liz and Marie for their contributions during the last year. 38
As you all may have heard, we now have Kathy Gobbart (from GinGin) as a member of Sorrento Bowling club. Kathy has previously played in the Country Leagues, but has also, and still is representing WA in the Ladies Over 60’s state team. She is currently our State Over 60’s Bowler of the Year. She has for many years been a top coach and runs her own Coaching School. The club and Kathy will be arranging a couple of coaching clinics before or during the season, but if anyone would like a private coaching lesson this can be arranged. Both individual and group sessions are available. The cost for a one hour individual lesson is $50, if you prefer a group, this runs for five hours, with a minimum of eight people. If you are interested in either of these options, you can contact Kathy on her mobile 0427 091 952. Our annual fashion parade is being held on Tuesday 15 September so please keep the date open as there will be more information soon. The new season is fast approaching; 27 October will be the first game for the season. I hope you all have a very enjoyable and successful season, and would encourage you all to enter into our Championship events as well, – Pauline Bourne
Darts Club Report
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he Dart Club has found itself in a very strong position early in the 2015 winter season fielding three teams in the Bowling Club Association and four teams in the Blue Water competition. All teams are doing very well. Recently the Darts Club undertook some renovations to the bar and lounge areas. These works where expanded in association with the Bowling Club and jointly funded by darts and bowls to include the resurfacing of the external wall and painting. I think we would all agree it has been a success and has improved the appearance of the club. For the darts club these works have provided sufficient space behind the four boards to enable up to four teams to play concurrently in the Club. Other advantages are 1. Where necessary, four teams can play at home allowing the Dart Club to expand to eight teams for each dart association, increasing activity within the Club and increasing revenue into the Club. 2. The dart boards in this lounge area have been located behind a stylish curtain that would hide their appearance when not in use and improve the appearance of the area when functions or other events are being held, or when normal activity such as accom39 modating social bowlers and pennant players.
The Darts Club received a grant for $2,000 some time ago from Azzure Finance and these funds have been used to finance the change. I would like to thank all those volunteers who helped to undertake these works and keep the overall costs down. Plans are under way for the next Darts trip and hopefully we will be able to advise in the near future. So come on the rest of the year and hope you all enjoy your darts – Wayne Gray
Latest on Jim Woodward
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s you may be aware our friend and major contributor to our newsletter has undergone corrective surgery to his left ankle (apparently he slipped while using a urinal, but that’s another story). The RSL have kindly lent Jim a Gopher while he is unable to walk. His ankle is in plaster until 2 July, then he has a moon boot for about 6 weeks. This photo is actually of Jim taking his, inherited, dog for a walk around Carine Reserve but some of our mates in Broome designated the photo as: “That old fart Jimmy Woodward on his way to Broome with Red Dog”. – Mike Hodge
It’s a Small World
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e all say how small the world is, well here is a good example. While in the Gold Coast competing in the Australian Open, Ron Rogers and myself found out how small while watching Barry Bradshaw and Wayne Gray compete in the Pairs competition. We were at Mudgeeraba Bowling Club where they were playing in the sectional comp. and due to the weather we decided to go inside and watch. We noticed that the club had an upstairs viewing area so we took our stubbies and proceeded upstairs, we had to watch amongst all the paint tins as they were doing some renovations, we managed 40
Our Travelling Bowlers and their Wives Ron Rogers, Brian Self, Barry Bradshaw and Wayne Gray, the travelling bowlers from Sorrento competed in a round robin competition in June at the Mermaid Bowling club on the Gold Coast .After a lot of tight tussles Wayne Gray rode over the top of all in front of him. Some might say it would not have been too difficult to beat Rogers, Bradshaw and Selfie!
State squads WA vs Vic – WA win 24/16
Left to right Self, Mick, Baz, Steve, Rocket Ron, Eddie(Jimmy from Scotland), Wayne and Cookie Left: “Big Bad Brad”
While the men were grafting away at bowls Comps., the wives went to every shop and place in the Gold Coast Right to left - Shelley Gray, Wilma Bradshaw, Joan Self and Barbara Rogers 41
to get two stools right over the rink that they were playing on. After a while a lady from New Zealand started talking on the phone to a woman from Bowls Australia and the conversation went like this “Oh hello I wonder if you could give me the mobile numbers of “Pauline Bourne and Nerrida somebody”, at which point Ron said “Porteous”. I told the lady that we knew them as they were from our club and we could help them sort that out. I called the club and spoke to Rick Munt who gave me Nerrida’s number and the lady said: “Do you think I could use your phone as mine is too expensive as it is a NZ phone?” I duly obliged.
Looking happy after their loss in the semi final at the Australian Open , Nerrida Porteous, Pauline Bourne (Sorrento) Wendy Duder and Lynn Browne (Christchurch NZ)”
After that I managed to sort it all out for them as the two NZ ladies were playing in the Fours comp. and two ladies they were playing with pulled out. When they were playing the singles they met Pauline who explained that they were not playing in the fours, so all put together and they managed to win their way through to the semi final and win $500 each. The lady from NZ was only a first year bowler having only started playing six months ago – Brian Self
Our Black and White Evening Thanks to Jan Cook and her helpers we had a great music night on 27 June. We were entertained by that fabulous duo Dizzy Miss Lizzy. From the photos alongside you will note that members really enjoyed the evening and we look forward to many more great evenings. 42
Our Black and White Evening
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Thanks to Derek Smith
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he efforts of Derek Smith, one of our volunteers, often go un-noticed. Every week he prints out the Friday evening menu and e-mails this to all our members. You often hear the call “Where’s Derek” and sure enough all it needs is a phone call and Derek is at the Club to help sort out the problem. If you are having a computer problem just ask Derek and he will make sure it is resolved. – Ross Cunningham
Mike’s Cleaning Services – Our Club’s newest sponsors
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any members are already familiar with the Club’s newest sponsor, Mike Martin. Mike is a long-term bowler with the Club and has been cleaning our Clubhouse for over twelve months. Mike’s business, Mike’s Carpet Cleaning Services also provides domestic cleaning services, with extra special service given to Club members. Mike’s Cleaning Services offers: Hot water extraction, Carpet/rug cleaning, Mattresses and car seats cleaning, Lounges and cushions cleaning and for a short time, free deodorising Contact Mike now on 0431680970 or e-mail mike@martin63@yahoo.com.au. Don’t forget to mention that you are a member of the Sorrento Bowling Club. Wow! How good does the sports area of the clubhouse look now? It’s amazing the transformation that the drywalling has achieved, transforming the dated face brick into a more modern finish that makes the area amazingly larger and cleaner. Special thanks to Wayne Gray for his coordination, Alan Walton for his hard work and for coordinating the team of tradesmen, and Spider Webb for his great painting job. This is another example of the tremendous dedication given to the Club by our many volunteers. 44
Tribute to Cedric Whitham (1924 – 2015)
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pair, two of a kind, much has been said of dear Joan, our much loved lady who went to Heaven’s kitchen with her date scones, rhubarb crumble and other delights, but really two people were in both Joan and Cedric – they were truly both of the same kind. When I think of Cedric I see a non-complainer, job done, sort of person. He was always in the background but always there washing up on Gala days, washing windows at the Club, pushing food trolleys behind Joan doing the shopping for the Club each week. I first met Cedric at the Lions market underneath Whitfords Shopping Centre, It was open on lots of sides so you could get in easily without paying. However, the days he was on duty, he would seek you out and hold out his hand for your entrance money – a kind of look on his face that said “I know you tried to get away with it”. What a rich life they had together full of children, laughter and damned hard work. They had some awful times on the farm in New Zealand but got over them and, as a pair, supported and cared for one another. Cedric is with Joan as surely as night follows day. She was waiting for him to guide him on his journey. Farewell Cedric and thank you for all your hard work in our Club. – Moira Dean
Answers to Riddles on Page 30 1. Each morning I appear to lie at your feet. All day I follow no matter how fast you run. Yet I nearly perish in the midday sun. ANSWER: A shadow 2. What is it that builds things up; lays mountains low; dries up lakes and makes things grow; cares not a whim about your passing and is like few other things because it is everlasting? ANSWER: Time 3. This thing runs but cannot walk, sometimes sings but never talks, lacks arms, has hands, lacks a head but has a face. ANSWER: A clock 4. We hurt without moving. We poison without touching. We bear the truth and the lies. We are not to be judged by our size. What are we? ANSWER: Words 45
Tribute to Dennis Saunders (1929-2015)
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ur dear friend and fellow bowler, Dennis Saunders, passed away in June after a long illness at the age of 86. His funeral was attended by many of his friends and family and also by his best friend, Lilly – his King Charles spaniel. Dennis joined Sorrento in the early 1990’s together with his wife Rita. They were both good bowlers with Rita winning the Ladies Singles twice and Dennis winning the Mixed Pairs, Mens Pairs and Mixed Fours competitions. When Rita became ill Dennis cared for her until she passed away thirteen years ago. Due to severe back problems Dennis was unable to bowl regularly in the last ten years. He was, however, a regular visitor to the Club with his beautiful dog, Lilly, much to the delight of the social bowlers on Friday and Sunday afternoons. We would always hear people saying – “Hello Dennis, hello Lilly”. We will miss them both and you will be happy to hear that Lilly who is now almost eight years old will be well cared for by the family. Dennis was always very kind and generous and contributed a large bottle of whisky, each year, to the Silver Chain Charity Day organised by Neil and Sylvia. He also sold tickets at the Melbourne Cup race days each year. I have been told by his son-in-law, John, that they have two bottles of Whisky, left by Dennis, which they want to pass on for the next Silver Chain Day. Thank you, Dennis and Lilly. We extend our deepest sympathy to the family. We will miss you both! – Denise Odell
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Tribute to Kath Muriel Joy (1935-2015)
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n 23 April 2015 our dear friend and former member, Kath Joy, passed away after a long illness.
Kath joined the Sorrento Bowling Club in 1998. She was a kind and loving person and was a popular member of our Club for many years. She was always a good bowler and together with Helen Patterson, May Leyland and Joy Hennessy won the Ladies Fours in 2001 and 2002. Joy Hennessy remembers Kath as a bubbly, joyful, determined and humorous friend who never got upset. According to her “Kath Joy was always a joy”. We extend our deepest sympathy to Brian and his family.
– Denise Odell
Kath, in the Ladies Pennant team that reached the playoffs in Division 2 Green in 2009, with her team mates Marie Smart, Kath Harris, Fay Jennings, Annie Taylor, Pippa Collishaw, Beth McCormack, Clair Hanlon, Denise Odell, Jean Middleditch and May Leyland and June Heggadon
“Hear no evil, See no evil and Say no evil”
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From the Archives
Niel Adams – a great Club member and green keeper
Our first newsletter!! April 1978 Note bar prices 48
Find John Collishaw and Darryl Rowlands
Can you find John Collishaw and Darryl Rowlands in this 1959 photograph of the Railway Unions Premier (Northern) Football League? Answer on page 53
Left: Des Bennett who was a member for many years Above: Brian Townsend who used to visit us each year when it was cold in England 49
Please support our Sponsors Travelling overseas or interstate? Whether it is by air, sea or land, Club sponsor Helloworld Balcatta (Northlands) asks that you give them the opportunity of presenting options and costings which quite often is of better value to what you find on the internet. Plus you will be supporting your Club sponsor and a local business – Rod Garnaut Managing Director helloworld Balcatta Northlands Primewest Northlands Shopping Centre, 201 Amelia Street, Balcatta WA 6021
Call Rod, Lyn Suzee or Lew on 08 9345 2033 or e-mail northlands@helloworld.com.au for all your travel needs.
Cellarbrations Duncraig Shop 6, Duncraig Shopping Centre, 8 Burragah Way Duncraig 50
Letters Pennant Bowler-of-the-year Thanks you for the article you wrote on my own performance for the Pennant season just completed. I must mention that I did not achieve these results on my own, and would like to acknowledge the contributions made by my team mates. In particular to Gavan Ebsworth (18 games), Stan Van Mosseveld (18), Jim Ironside (17), John Collishaw (15), Keith Cooper (14), Brad Williams (8), Colin Stainsby (8) plus others who played fewer games and covered my shortcomings. – Trevor Orton ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Please help Neville My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn’t even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do? Signed: Clueless Dear Clueless: Grow up and dump him. You don’t need him any more! Good grief woman, you’re running for President of the United States. – Neville/Abbey ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Rev. Father, The Quadruple Wick I was playing in the Trevors Carpets Handicap 4’s and it was the 13th (last) end with the scores tied at 8-8. Skipper Bruce was holding three shots very close to the kitty and there were lots of “Robbo” bowls in front. His opponent Skipper Tony was waving his arms around in desperation and called his 3rd. (who will remain nameless to protect his integrity) to have a run with his last bowl. Message received and down comes his bowl on the forehand well wide of the mark. It hit another bowl 8 ft. wide of the head, does a right angle wick and runs through the centre of the head, picking up the kitty and 51
rolls out to the backhand side – one up to Tony. Neither Skipper changed the score – Tony won and Bruce was devastated. Was this “Divine Intervention”? – Converted. Dear Converted The answer is “No” but you seem to have perfected a shot played by many members of the Club ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nasty Skippers In your May 2015 newsletter page, on page 34, you listed 36 negative and demotivating comments that a Skipper might make to “upset his Lead”. Over the last few weeks I‘ve heard Skippers making many positive and motivational comments such as • “Two cracking bowls” • “Good line and length” • “Good set” • “You should be Skipper – play my bowls” • “Great nut mate” • “What a wonderful bowl Dick” • “Great nut” • “Brilliant – you’ve made three Buddy” • “Good positional bowl” • “You can be my Lead any day” • “If it wasn’t for you we would be a player down” Why do bowlers only remember the negatives? Lets all try and be more positive and always enjoy our game of bowls! Be a happy bowler! – Anon
Answer to “Find John Collishaw and Darryl Rowlands” John is third from the left and Darryl is sixth from the left in the back row
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Ray Green
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embers will be pleased to know that Ray Green has had his back operation and is making good progress. The operation took four and a half hour instead of the planned three His wife Maureen says they are not encouraging visitors until he returns home. We wish him well during the long five month recovery period and look forward to seeing him back on the bowling green before Christmas – Neville Odell
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Trevors Carpets The best knowledge – the biggest range – the right advice Osborne Park 9202 4545 Paul Waite
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Joondalup 9300 3633 Rob Crane