Idaho Family 07 2019

FREE

July 2019

Sponsor of

$10 OFF WEDNESDAYS

TOP PICKS Boise area community pools

CASSIDY LITTLETON

What foster care is like

WHEN KIDS ASK: See inside for...

Summer Fun July-September

‘Why are they different?’

A girl rides a water-spewing racoon at Roaring Springs’ Bearfoot Bay

2 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Contents Features

Volume 7, Number 7 Publisher J.J. Plew Associate Publisher Adrianne Goff Adrianne@globalpsd.com Cover Photo Wahooz Family Fun Zone

July 2019

Kids’ Questions

5 18 The

Outdoorsman

Asking about differences

Snares for Mom

Editor Gaye Bunderson editorgaye@gmail.com Sales & Marketing J.J. Plew jjplew82@gmail.com 208-697-2043

Columns

20 Top Picks for Cassidy Littleton

6

The McDrill

9

Former foster child

Community Pools + Water safety

Contributors Daniel Bobinski, Chuck Carpenter, Adrianne Goff, Macaile Hutt, Sandy Spurgeon McDaniel Graphic Design Carol Smiley csmileydesign@gmail.com Distribution Shauna Howard, Doris Evans

Idaho Family Magazine, published monthly

by Gem Production Co., LLC, is committed to providing readers with informative and entertaining information to help them in maintaining healthy families and positive lifestyles. It is distributed throughout the valley as a free publication. Idaho Family Magazine does not assume responsibility for statements or opinions expressed by editorial contributors or advertisers. The acceptance of advertising does not constitute an endorsement of the products, services or information. Idaho Family Magazine does not knowingly present any product or service which is fraudulent or misleading in nature. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without express written consent of the publisher. Reader correspondence and editorial submissions are welcome. Idaho Family Magazine reserves the right to edit or reject all materials submitted.

All rights reserved. Copyright 2019 by Gem Production Co., LLC. Follow us on Facebook www.idahofamilymagazine.com

(It’s not fast food)

Departments 16 Wednesday’s Child

Meet Kaden

Communication Patterns

10

What do your kids hear?

Fun Summer Events & Festivals

17

In Each Edition 4 Editor’s Intro

Failure IS an option

12 Family Events Calendar

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 3

EDITOR’S Intro

Times when failure IS an option

S

ooner or later, your child will fail. But it’s not a bad thing. We’ve all done it, and we’ll do it again before we’re through. It’s a very human thing. Your child may fail in childhood or adulthood or both, but fail he or she will. The important thing is to prepare your child for that inevitable moment — not by making sure he doesn’t fail, but by making sure that when he does, he has the coping skills he will need to see him through.

Not surprisingly, all the best quotes about failure are from grownups who failed and came back stronger for it. Many of the quotes are very inspiring and are from both men and women; for lack of space, I chose these two (and printed out the rest for my “encouragement wall”): • “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” — J.K. Rowling • “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.

And that is why I succeed.” — Michael Jordan I recently came across a small article with the headline: “To make your child more resilient, you need to let her fail.” Written by psychologist and teacher Mandie Shean, the article argues against thinking that your children are too fragile to handle life when it gets a bit hard.

Shean writes: “In our efforts to protect children, we take valuable opportunities for learning away from them. Failure provides benefits that cannot be gained any other way.”

Of course, loving parents want to shield their children from hurt — and that’s reasonable, up to a point. Over-protecting them has a downside; sometimes letting them stumble and scrape their knees along the path of life offers benefits that Shean calls “the gift of coping” and “the gift of learning.”

The gift of coping

“The answer is not to avoid failure, but to learn how to cope with small failures. These low-level challenges have

been called ‘steeling events.’”

The gift of learning

“Mistakes are the essence of learning. As we have new experiences and develop competence, it’s inevitable we make mistakes.”

A brief synopsis of Shean’s advice includes the following (the full article is available at https://www.weforum.org/ agenda/2018/07/protecting-your-kids-from-failure-isn-thelpful-here-s-how-to-build-their-resilience): 1. Don’t protect children from low-risk natural consequences.

2. Use experiences of failure as a chance to grow and learn.

3. Remind your child that negative emotions come with failure and they are okay.

Shean also talks about the benefits and dangers of praise.

“Praise can be used to compensate and help children feel valuable in the face of failure,” she wrote.

But don’t knock a kid when he’s down, piling on more hurt when his attempt at something comes up short. Give him praise for his effort and encouragement to try again. But don’t, Shean warns, inflate your praise. Don’t call a lazy effort “incredible,” for instance.

Shean talks about person-focused praise, which includes statements such as, “You’re really beautiful” or “You’re so smart.” This kind of praise may backfire. “This is because praise is conditional on ‘who they are’ rather than their efforts. … Praise for effort sounds like ‘you worked really hard.’ This is better because children can control how hard they work, but they can’t control how smart or special they are,” she wrote.

If you occasionally fail at teaching your children how to handle failure, that’s okay too. There are no infallible adults; just try again. It’s no coincidence that the people whose quotes on failing resonate the most are some of the most successful people in the world. But it’s only because they got well acquainted with the lessons that come through failure.

— Gaye Bunderson, editor FREE July 2019

Children’s Photos Wanted

Sponsor of

Idaho Family Magazine would love to put your child or children on our cover. All photos should be high quality, sharp and clear, and high resolution of around 300 ppi. Color photos are preferred, and all photos need to be vertical not horizontal. Please identify the children in the photos, the children’s ages, and what Treasure Valley community they reside in. (If chosen for the cover, their last names will not be used without permission.) Send the photos to editorgaye@gmail.com.

$10 OFF WEDN

ESDAYS

TOP PICKS

CASSIDY LITTLETON

Boise area community pools

What foste r care is like

WHEN KIDS ASK:

See inside for..

Summer Fun .

July-Septe mbe

r

‘Why are they different?’

A girl rides at Roarin a water-spewing racoo g Springs’ n Bearfoot Bay

4 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

KIDS’ questions

Helping them ask about differences

By Macaile Hutt

I

was in the self-checkout area of the grocery store the other day and I found myself between two mothers with daughters around the same age. To my left, one bored little girl, pulling at her mom’s coat and sighing deeply with each item scanned, and, to my right, a nearly identical scene with another bored child, rolling her eyes and exhaling deep, dramatic sighs as she reluctantly tagged along for all the torture that comes along with any grocery store visit when you’re a child. The only visible difference between the two girls was that one Macaile Hutt of them wore AFOs or “ankle foot orthotics,” which are supporting braces that help control the position and motion of the ankle, compensating for weakness or correcting deformities. These braces come in lots of different colors and patterns, sometimes more muted and colorless, and other times covered in rainbows or sparkles or the child’s favorite sports team.

“Psst, mom,” I heard the girl to my right whisper in a hushed but emergent tone. “What, honey?” the mother replied as she continued scanning her items. “What’s wrong with that girl’s legs?” the daughter asked. I watched from the corner of my eye as both moms froze. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. I felt the panic in the mother to my right as she attempted to silence her daughter’s question as quickly as possible.

As a pediatric therapist, I’m super familiar with AFOs and many other physical and non-physical differences that

children might present with and I’ve asked and answered countless questions about these differences throughout my career. Without thinking twice, I jumped in. “Nothing is wrong with her legs, friend, but she was born with special legs so she gets to wear special braces to help her walk. Some people are born without needing special braces, and other people are born with legs that need them.

Kind of like how some people have black hair and some people have red hair, or how some people have freckles and other people don’t have any freckles at all. Nothing is wrong if someone doesn’t look or walk or talk the same as we do, they’re just different. I bet our new friend got to pick out the pattern on her braces,” I continued, as I glanced over to see the unicorns and rainbows that adorned her legs.

“Do you like unicorns too?” I watched my friend to the right as her eyes widened and she began nodding her head. “I love unicorns! I even had a unicorn birthday party last year and also have unicorn pajamas and unicorn stuffed animals and…” the little girl trailed off as I gathered my bags to go.

I watched both of the mother’s eyes soften as their lips upturned with relief-filled smiles. The mother of the girl to the right mouthed “thank you” as I smiled back and exhaled a deep breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding in.

Being a parent is hard. You’re expected to feed and bathe and clothe and house these tiny humans, all the while helping to mold and nurture them to become strong, kind, brave, Continued on Page 22

Summer Camp Kids Love to Brush & Floss!

Call Call Today Today toto Schedule Schedule anan Appointment Appointment ! !

208.939.0600 208.939.0600

450 450 W.W. State State Street Street • Suite • Suite 180 180 • Eagle, • Eagle, IDID www.DanStreeby.com www.DanStreeby.com

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 5

Q&A with CASSIDY LITTLETON

Idahoan tackles foster care system

By Gaye Bunderson

Editor’s note: Cassidy Littleton, 20, formerly of Twin Falls and now attending Northwest Nazarene University in Nampa, is working to create real change in the foster care system in the U.S. on both a state and national level. Last year, Cassidy — who was once a foster child herself — met with Congressional leaders and with eight state legislators to help raise awareness of the many challenges foster children face.

She took time out from her schedule to answer some questions on the topic of foster care for Idaho Family Magazine.

Q. Cassidy, could you give me a sense of what it was like being a foster child?

A. Confusing and lost. Those are the two words I’d use to sum up my experience as a foster child. I think every child could probably relate to having absolutely no clue what’s happening in their life or with their future. For me, I was always asking, “Why was I taken? What did Mom and Dad do for this to happen? Are they in trouble? Am I in trouble?

What’s going to happen to me? Will I ever go home? Does this mean I’m never going to be with my family again?

When can I see them? Am I safe from the family members I’m scared of ?” There were so many questions all the time.

I felt so uncertain about everything, whether about my past or present or future. As a foster child, I was completely consumed by those thoughts and fear of what would happen next. I didn’t know if I was safe, I didn’t know if I was moving again, I didn’t know how to act around my families.

It was really hard, and it made me feel so lost in a world that I felt I had no control over.

Q. Can you also explain how you came to be in the foster care system?

A. I was in the foster care system twice, once at age 11 and once when I was 14. Both times, I was removed because of parent drug abuse and neglect. The first time I was in foster care, it was completely unexpected — cops literally showed up at my house as soon as I got home from school one day, and I was taken into their custody within just a few minutes.

I was told to pack an overnight bag, and then I was gone.

The second time I was expecting to go back into the system, because I knew that police being alerted about my family situation would put me back in foster care.

Q. How many foster homes did you live in, and were they mostly good or were some very difficult?

A. I lived in five altogether. Two foster homes, one respite home, and two kinship-care homes. I was fortunate that my younger sister and I were able to be together the entire time, but I can ultimately say that it was a negative experience overall. My respite family was amazing, but I was only with them for a few days and that felt too short to really impact my experience. In both of the foster homes, the parents were headed towards divorce and that made the family dynamic 6 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

really difficult. To my knowledge, both of those families lost their license to foster soon after I left their homes. Being in kinship wasn’t any easier. The first kinship home was so bad that my sister and I begged to be removed and transferred.

Our final kinship home was comfortable because we were with close family, but it was still really hard on my sister and I because we turned into the babysitters and caretakers of the house and didn’t get to act like children.

Q. Many young people age out of the foster care system when they turn 18. That must be very difficult. What was that like for you? Did you suddenly have to face adulthood all alone?

A. I didn’t actually age out of foster care. I was lucky enough to leave the system in high school. However, I had an older brother who was taken by the state — he became a ward of the state — and he did age out of the system. I also gained a sister in foster care who aged out when she was 18. So, I never experienced “aging out” myself, but I saw what it was like for them. Especially for my brother; he really struggled a lot to find stability in his life. My sister was able to go to college right after she turned 18, but after her first year she dropped out and struggled to find a job or somewhere safe to live. I was too young back then to really understand the gravity of what they faced, but when I got older and saw how much my life had gone down a different path, I was able to reflect on why they had such a difficult time. They had no one to look out for them or guide them in what to do. They were forced to create a life for themselves with absolutely no foundation or resources, and I think that’s what ultimately led to their struggles.

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Q. Tell me a little about your brother, if it’s not too hard for you. It reads in the information that was sent to me that “he was unable to find the support he needed.”

A. I have lots of older siblings. Four, to be exact, and then I have one younger sibling (who was in foster care with me); three brothers, two sisters. Well, I had one older half-brother who I grew up with, and I was very close to him. He was like any older brother, kind of mean to me sometimes but he loved me deeply and wanted to protect me from everything.

He was very troubled growing up. He had a horrible childhood. One parent abandoned him from the day he was born, and the other one abused him in extreme ways. He was tortured and neglected his whole life, and when he was a teenager he was in and out of juvenile facilities until he was finally removed from the family and became a ward of the state. When he aged out of the system, he had a really hard time adjusting. He got financial assistance from the state, but there were no resources that helped him adjust to adulthood or helped him cope with his situation. He ended up taking his own life — and it wrecked me. I was 11 years old and in foster care when it happened.

My brother was absolutely hopeless and he felt abandoned and alone. He died a week before his 20th birthday, and I’m absolutely positive that if he would have had resources to guide him into adulthood and help him process through his time in the system, he would still be alive. He’s a huge part of why I do what I do — I want to fight for the children who feel alone and without hope. I was there too, and I don’t think anyone deserves to feel that way, especially children.

Q. Tell me more about your mentors in Boys and Girls Club.

I’ve never heard anyone credit the club with helping them in the way you were helped. What did the club do for your exactly?

A. To put it simply, the Club gave me a support system and a family that pushed me beyond my circumstances. It exposed my talents, encouraged me in my strengths, and gave me opportunities to redefine my future. I won’t go into all of the details, but I started going to the Boys & Girls Clubs of Magic Valley when I was 8 years old. My mom enrolled my younger sister and I, and I immediately meshed with a staff member named Robert. He was known for his love of music; he always brought his guitar to work and sang songs to us kids. I adored him, and I ended up learning guitar from him, which exposed my love for music too. Since then, I have learned other instruments (piano and cello), become a singer and worship leader for my youth group, taken a music course from Juliard, and had this intense passion for music in every part of my life. I still love music to this day, but I think Robert is what really opened my eyes to the power of it.

The real game-changer came from my family at the Boys & Girls Club. When I was a foster kid going to the Club, I really bonded with staff member Jonny during teen nights at the Club. Jonny became a brother figure to me. When I was older and in high school, I grew extremely close to two of the www.idahofamilymagazine.com

administrators at the Club (although all of the administrators treated me like their own child). One’s name is Rashell, and she was my formal mentor, and the other is Lindsey. They were both like moms to me in the fullest sense of the word. I stayed at their houses and spent time with their families. They took me out for lunch and took me shopping. They helped me get into a private school my senior year of high school, and Lindsey came to my graduation. They helped me choose a college, do my applications, and buy my school supplies — they did everything. They loved me like their daughter.

Q. You want to reform the American foster care system. In what ways specifically, and what are you doing to help bring about that change?

A. I can’t say that I know how to reform the entire system, but I do know that there are specific issues that I want to fix that could have overarching impacts. Obviously, I care primarily about the children in the system who are aging out, because I believe they deserve more recognition as they become adult citizens in our country with real power in our communities. I absolutely think that rehabilitative programs and resources should be a mandatory part of every child’s case plan when they age out of the system, so that there’s no gap for these young adults to fall through the cracks and feel lost. I also would love to see reform for how we recruit and incentivize foster families, the regulations placed on giving Continued on Page 8

We understand your time is valuable.

We won’t waste a minute of it.

Hassle Free Scheduling Upfront Pricing Clean & Professional TheMagicTeam.com

Schedule Today

208-944-2107

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 7

CASSIDY Continued from Page 7 foster children equal opportunities as a traditional child, and I also hope to see increased funding for programs that help foster kids, such as the Guardian ad Litem program.

Q. What is the worst thing about the foster care system at present?

A. If I had to pick one thing to highlight about the system, I would say that our approach for recruiting and treating foster families is the worst. This is two-fold. First, I think that we do not provide proper incentives for fostering, and this can lead to attracting the wrong type of families. I am not disregarding the thousands of incredible families that take care of kids, but it’s undeniable that there are families out there who abuse the foster care system. There are definitely families who foster just for money (although why they do that, I’ll never understand) or to receive more benefits from the government. All this does is stamp a number on a foster kid and make them feel worthless, and it often creates abusive and neglectful households for foster kids. Basically, we need to change the type of families we appeal to. I think we should target higher-income families or families who don’t rely on government assistance, and incentivize mid-upper-class families to foster, so that there’s less concern of misuse of the system.

The other side of that is giving foster parents the room to treat a foster child like family. There are so many obstacles and protections placed on foster kids that it often hinders them from truly integrating into a family or feeling like a normal child. Here’s an example: an upper-class household is made up of two parents and one biological child. They want to foster, and receive a foster child into their home. Because of obstacles with the system, they will likely not be able to enroll that foster child into a private school, because public schools are Idaho’s primary education choice for foster kids.

Now you have a foster kid who wishes they could have the same opportunities that their foster sibling has, or maybe wishes they could go to school together so that the foster child could at least have someone to bond with. Or, there are other rules around foster kids going to sleepovers, vacations, leaving town, etc. I realize that these are necessary safety precautions, but it makes it hard for the foster family to give a foster child the same opportunities their own kids might have. This is hard for the foster parents, who have to deal with the law and the consequences, and it’s hard for the children, who feel discouraged, left out, and disadvantaged.

Q. What is your life like now? What support do you have in the way of family and friends? How do you support yourself financially?

A. I’m 20 now, and I live in Nampa. Life is always a little bit 8 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

crazy for me, but it’s awesome.

Right now, I’m a student at Northwest Nazarene University; I’ll be a junior this fall. I am interning at the Idaho State Capitol right now, gaining some political experience. I just finished an internship working for a foster care organization.

My professional life right now revolves around: internships, speaking, managing a national blog, and school. My personal life revolves around church, reading books, becoming a culinary master, and spending time with friends and family.

I have a huge network of families that rally around me. I have biological family in Idaho and in other states, Boys & Girls Club families, families of friends, church families — they’ve all taken me in and support me, so I feel very blessed to have them.

Q. If you could say just one thing to foster care kids, what would it be?

A. You are better than your circumstances, stronger than you realize, and entirely capable of taking a tragic chapter of life and rewriting it into the most beautiful story. Don’t back down to darkness; shine your light and let the world around you see it.

Q. If you could say just one thing to foster care parents, what would it be?

A. You are in a position of incredible responsibility; you have the power to help children rise above their circumstances and become incredible people, but you also have the power to diminish their value and their voices. Do not diminish the life of a child. Nurture them, love them back to life, and know that your actions impact a lifetime. Thank you for what you’re doing and for taking on this role; we need you.

Q. If there’s anything I left out that you feel is important, please feel free to share it.

A. I do feel like it’s worth sharing that I don’t have any desire to glorify myself or my story or the Boys & Girls Club, because the truth is that there’s so much more at play that led to where I’m at today. I do what I do because I believe that there is a power in using your story not to promote yourself, but to connect with others and inspire them to write a better future for themselves. I fight for the little girls out there who have big dreams and are scared to step outside of their circumstances and reach for them. I fight for the kids who cannot fight for themselves and for children like my brother who feel forgotten about and alone. But I also stand up for the parents who want to do their best and don’t know how. That’s what this is about. My story is not just mine; it is theirs, and I want others to feel that recognition. www.idahofamilymagazine.com

The McDRILL

A technique to use for discipline

By Sandy McDaniel

I

believe all ideas come from God, so I am three months. Anger was king! Part of our not being egotistical when I tell you that recovery program was to use the Minute I’ve not seen a discipline technique work Drill. The boy had accumulated a couple of as well as “my” Minute Drill. Parents are pennies. His mother drove him to a birthday exhausted from telling a child to do the same party. When the boy started to get out of thing a hundred times, breaking up fights, the car his mother said, “You have a penny dealing with attitude or disrespect, and getting in your jar. We are going to sit here without a child to do what they ask him or her to do. talking for 15 minutes then you can go to The object of the game with the Minute Drill the party. If you fuss or fume, it will cost is to get NO pennies in your jar. Each child you another penny.” Inch-by-inch the boy has a jar with his/her name on it. A child changed his behavior because he, like other gets an instant penny for disrespect, hitting children, detests life being interrupted. or unkindness. These behaviors need to be If a child melts down say, “It’s okay to feel

By Sandy McDaniel nipped in the bud, stopped immediately. angry; it is not okay to melt down. I am going If you ask a child to do something or to stop doing to count backwards from 5. If you have not stopped the something and the child is not responding, say, “You are on meltdown by the time I get to zero, it will cost you a penny. the Minute Drill. You have 1 minute to be standing next Then you will go on the Minute Drill and each minute you to me.” If the child fails to come, hold up a finger and say, keep melting down, it will cost a penny. You can scream as “That minute cost you a penny!” Don’t take the penny finger long as you want and it will get really expensive!” back if the child whines, fusses or fumes. The finger raised For ages 8 and up, give the child a specific task like, “Go becomes a penny in the jar. Should the child continue to fuss clean up your room; put all dirty clothes in the hamper, hang or fume say, “Keep that going and it will cost you another up or fold clean clothes, pick up all trash and put all dishes penny!” in the dishwasher. You have 45 minutes to accomplish that.

Each penny in the jar represents 15 minutes off of I will come and coach you to do anything you missed. Each something fun during the day: TV or media time, going minute I need to coach you on something you could’ve done outside to play, playing a family game (child needs to sit by yourself will cost you a penny.” and watch the game — no media). There is always going to The Minute Drill is not to be used in an area where the bed earlier and getting up earlier as consequences for poor child has made an agreement to be present, such as being on choices. The trick is to be really “on it” the first three days; a sports team, being in a class, or taking a lesson. Children line up things for the 15-minute consequence. Once the kids need to learn to keep their commitments. hate the pennies, the battle for power ends. They hate the For dozens of examples on how to use the Minute Drill, see pennies but do not resent them as they are clearly a result “Don’t Feed the Dragon” (Amazon and parentingsos.com). of a child’s choice, not the result of a psycho-angry parent For private parent coaching to implement this technique, making an unfair consequence. contact me at sandy@parentingsos.com. If you are exhausted A mother of two boys, ages 3 and 4, told me that her from wanting to discipline your children or get them to mind, 3-year-old was continually undressing when it was time to go get help. You don’t have to do it alone. to a birthday party. “In the past,” she commented, “I would For more than 55 years, Sandy Spurgeon McDaniel has been an have threatened that he wasn’t going to the party or gotten international speaker and recognized authority on families and children. really angry. Instead, I took a deep breath and turned my Author of five books, columnist, founder of parentingsos.com, she is wrist over to reveal my watch.” The little boy chimed in, “I a resident of Meridian and loves spending time with her three Idaho know, I know, I am on the Minute Drill” grandchicks. Semi-retired, she speaks to schools, churches, and quickly got dressed. and MOPS groups and provides parent coaching sessions in person and on the phone. She is available for parenting When I began working with a 14-yeartalks/trainings in the Treasure Valley and may be reached old boy, his mother had already taken at sandy@parentingsos.com. Also, go to YouTube: Sandy every possible thing away from him for Spurgeon McDaniel to see videos on specific parenting issues.

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 9

COMMUNICATION patterns

Do your kids just hear, ‘Wha wah’?

By Daniel Bobinski

I

f you’ve ever seen a Charlie Brown movie, you know that the stories are all about the kids’ perspectives and adults are never seen. If there’s ever a time when one of the Peanuts gang interacts with an adult, all you hear the adult saying is, “Wha wah, wha wha wah wah.” Sadly, it’s been my observation that a lot of elementaryaged kids hear “Wha wah, wha wha wah wah” when their parents are giving them advice or correction. Then, when those kids become teens, their parents often wonder why their relationships have become strained.

Sadly, the answer rests in patterns established by the parents years before.

Here’s a scenario. A young child does something he is not supposed to do, and the parent reacts with an abrupt, “No!” The child immediately stops the offending behavior, but fear activates his sympathetic nervous system, otherwise known as, “Fight or flight.” Whenever anyone’s body enters this mode, blood flow is directed primarily to the heart, lungs, and major muscles. It’s a survival design mechanism. If a person senses danger and experiences fear, his or her body sends blood to the lungs to process oxygen, to the heart so it can pump oxygen-rich blood, and to the major muscles so the person can either fight for survival or run.

The problem? When a person’s body is in that mode, there’s not much blood going to the pre-frontal cortex — the part of the brain used for logical thinking. It’s true for kids as

much as it is for adults.

In fact, a parent doesn’t even have to be abrupt and or loud when calling a stop to errant behavior. Just being told they messed up can activate a child’s fear and subsequently engage the sympathetic nervous system.

Does this mean we should stop correcting our children when they do things they shouldn’t be doing? Not at all. But it does mean that trying to instruct them via lecture or logic immediately afterwards may not be the best practice, because it’s highly likely the kids will hear, “Wha wah, wha wha wah wah.”

I know a person who did this to her kids all the time. She’d read the book, “Parenting with Love and Logic,” and decided to practice it with her young children. Two hiccups got in the way of her success. The first is what I just described above. She never got on the same page with her kids emotionally before engaging them mentally. The second is that the brains of young kids are not typically wired to process logic. Young children are still learning how to process their emotions, and most of all, they want to know they are loved, even when they make mistakes. According to the four stages of child development, it’s not until children reach the age of 10 – 11 that you can start using logic effectively.

And yet, this person persisted, trying to hold logical discussions with her children while the rest of us watched her kids’ eyes glaze over. When she’d ask if the kids understood, they would nod that they did, but only because if they didn’t

ANNOUNCING THE 19/20 SEASON!

SEASON OPTION

SEASON OPTION

COMING IN THE 20/21 SEASON

THE INTERNATIONAL SENSATION

TICKETS AT MC BOX OFFICE – MORRISONCENTER.COM – 208.426.1111 10 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

say yes, mom would keep talking. By the way, I’m quite confident her kids were hearing, “Wha wah, wha wha wah wah.” When kids are 3 and 5 years old, their brains aren’t wired for that depth of logical processing.

Simply stated, this common but ineffective pattern of communication — offering corrective instruction immediately after notifying a child of a bad or ineffective behavior — may not be the best choice for building relationships. Granted, as parents, our hearts are usually in the right place. I know, because my intentions have been good whenever I’ve been guilty of taking an “immediate correction” approach. But I speak with experience when I say that more effective methods exist.

As someone who’s been teaching emotional intelligence and doing executive and management coaching for decades, on more than one occasion I’ve had to do a face-palm and say, “Bobinski — you teach this stuff! Put it into practice.”

Everyone wants to feel safe

Some fundamental keys to good emotional intelligence are that people want to be understood and they want to feel safe. It’s true of everyone, no matter what their age. But for some reason, it’s harder to exercise patience when the young person we’re talking to has our last name and represents our family. Maybe you can relate. However, what I’ve learned is when we’re helping our kids learn, efficiency needs to go out the window. In its place we need a ton of patience and a wide-open ear.

Habit Five from Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” is, “Seek first to understand, then be understood.” It’s a powerful habit, and one that applies to all relationships. But I’ve come to believe that in family relationships, us parents need to seek first to understand two, three, or four times more than usual. No, it’s not efficient.

But, as the title of Covey’s book suggests, it’s effective.

This practice goes hand-in-hand with the saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Just put the words, “Your children” in place of the word, “People” in that sentence.

I’ve also realized that the older my daughter gets, helping her arrive at healthy choices involves me doing more asking (in a genuine, caring tone) than telling. Like all people, she wants to be understood and accepted.

Bottom line, I believe healthy family relationships come from healthy communication patterns. And, as the adults who’ve been around the sun a few more times than our kids, it’s up to us to learn healthy patterns and put them into practice. Nobody is perfect at it. But we can work at it. We’re going to stumble and make mistakes, but unless we put forth the effort, we’re practically guaranteed to sound like the teacher in a Charlie Brown movie.

Daniel Bobinski, M.Ed. teaches teams and individuals how to use Emotional Intelligence, plus how to create high impact training. He’s also a homeschooling dad, a best-selling author, and a popular speaker at conference and retreats. Reach Daniel through his website, www.

MyWorkplaceExcellence.com, or 208-375-7606 (ofc). www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 11

Little Free Library Visit the Little Free Library at Meridian City Hall’s outdoor plaza and take a book you’d like to read and leave a book for others to enjoy. For more information, contact Shelly Houston at 208-4890531 or shouston@meridiancity.org.

Schick-Ostolasa Farmstead tours Looking for a fun and educational activity for kids and parents alike? Check out the Schick-Ostolasa Farmstead, open every Saturday from 12:30 to 4:30 p.m. through September 28. Get a glimpse of what rural Idaho life was like in the 1860s.

Visit the beautiful grounds and the spruced up medicinal garden. Docents will be available for tours and to answer questions. The farmstead is located at 5006 W. Farm Court in Boise. For more information, go to www.drycreekhistory.org, email drycreekhistory@gmail.com, or call 208-229-4006.

Movie Night in Meridian CableONE Movie Night in Meridian is held Fridays through August 16 in Settlers Park. Movies are shown on a giant inflatable screen and are always family-friendly. There are also bounce houses and concession stands. It’s free to attend, but bring lawn chairs and blankets. All movies start at dusk.

Movies Under the Stars Fun-filled family “Movies Under the Stars” evenings begin at 7 p.m. throughout the summer, with free games for kids provided by the Boise Parks and Recreation Mobile Recreation Van prior to the movie. A family-friendly movie will be shown on a 30-foot screen by 9:45 p.m. or when it’s dark on various Friday and Saturday nights and at various locations throughout town. For a complete schedule and other information, go to parks.cityofboise.org or call 208-608-7680.

Friday and Saturday Family Slide Nights Families may enjoy unlimited access to water attractions as the sun sets from 6 to 10 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays through August 24 at Roaring Springs. Go to roaringsprings.com for more information.

Playin’ in the Plaza This free summer concert series takes place at Meridian City Hall’s outdoor plaza, 33 E. Broadway Ave., and is a great place for after-work music, mingling, and refreshments. Concerts take place each Thursday night from 5 to 8 p.m. through July 25. For more information, go to meridiancity.org or call 208-918-3480.

Gazebo Concert Series The City of Eagle holds a Gazebo Concert Series on various Thursdays throughout the summer months from 6:30 to 9 p.m. at Heritage Park. Take

CALENDAR a blanket and a friend and unwind to great music under the stars. Food and beverage vendors are onsite throughout the family-friendly event. Go to cityofeagle.org.

Host an exchange student The Pan Atlantic Foundation is currently seeking local host families for international students for the 2019-2020 school year. Host families learn about another culture, provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for teens across the globe, and form lasting relationships. For more information, contact Pan Atlantic Area Representative Florence Lince at florence.lince@gmail.com or 208-329-5730.

Idaho IceWorld skating programs Wednesday nights are Family Nights at Idaho IceWorld. For only $5 (includes skate rental), families may enjoy skating from 6:45 to 8:45 p.m.

Foodbank Fridays support the Idaho Foodbank.

Take a nonperishable food item to donate and receive a free skate rental. Parent and Tot Skate Thursdays allow parents and children 8 and under to skate from 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. for only $5 per person; this is a special stroller-friendly public skating session. Price includes skate rental. For more information, go to idahoiceworld.com.

Nature Explorers The Deer Flat Wildlife Refuge will hold a Nature Explorers program for preschoolers on the fourth Thursday of each month beginning at 10:30 a.m. in the Refuge Visitor Center, 13751 Upper Embankment Rd. in Nampa. Preschoolers ages 3-5 may use their natural curiosity to investigate the world around them on guided nature explorations.

There will be hands-on activities on a different theme each month. Preschoolers should come with an adult and be ready to be outside. For more information, visit www.fws.gov/deerflat, email deerflat@fws.gov, or call 208-467-9278.

Saturday Stories Listen to stories, share laughs, and get dancing all while having fun with your family during Saturday morning storytime with Ms. Trisha in Hayes Auditorium at the main branch of Boise Public Library. The program takes place from 10:30 to 11 a.m., and no registration is required. For more information, call 208-972-8201.

Craft Cafe Adults are welcome at the Library! at Cole and Ustick for crafts and chatting on Tuesday mornings from 10 to 11:30 a.m. Crafts range from painting, creating home decor, seasonal crafts, and more.

All skill levels are welcome, and all supplies are provided. For more information, call 208-9728300.

12 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

Ada Library Activities Ada County Library branches feature a number of family- and youth-friendly programs. Following is a brief list of events for July and August. For more information, visit the website or call the number listed for each branch.

Hidden Springs Branch Library, www.adalib. org/hiddensprings, 208-229-2665 • July 1, 11 a.m. outside Hidden Springs Elementary School, YMCA Bike Rodeo, all ages • July 8, 11 a.m. at the Hidden Springs Elementary School cafeteria, Night Sky Art, all ages • July 22, 11 a.m. at the Hidden Springs Elementary School cafeteria, Discovery Ctr. of Idaho hands-on experiments, all ages • July 23, 11:30 a.m., Universe of Stories – Music & Movement, all ages • August 5, 11 a.m. at the Hidden Springs Elementary School cafeteria, It’s Rocket Science, all ages • August 8, 6 p.m., A Galactic Spectacular, all ages Lake Hazel Branch Library, www.adalib.org/ lakehazel, 208-297-6700 • July 2, 2 p.m., Magician Kip Sherry, all ages • July 16, 2 p.m., explore science with the Discovery Ctr. of Idaho, all ages • July 19, 7 p.m., Sleep Under the Star Wars (registration required for sleepover), all ages (anyone under 18 who sleeps over for the night must have an adult present) • July 25, 4:30 p.m., Escape Room, solve the puzzles to escape an alien spacecraft, ages 12-18 • July 30, 2 p.m., Foothills Learning Ctr. staff shows how paper is made, all ages • August 6, 2 p.m., World’s Fastest Juggler David Rush, all ages • August 10, 6 p.m., After-Hours Party – Alien Abduction Party, ages 11-18 Star Branch Library, www.adalib.org/star, 208286-9755 • July 10, 2 p.m. at LifeSpring Church, 174 N. Star Rd., Summerwind Skippers jump rope team, all ages • July 17, 2 p.m., Cast Iron Climbing rock wall, all ages • July 24, 2 p.m., Discovery Ctr. of Idaho science activities, all ages • August 7, 2 p.m., Alien Rock Painting, all ages Victory Branch Library, www.adalib.org/ victory, 208-362-0181 • July 18, 3 to 4:30 p.m., Moon Landing 50th Anniversary Celebration, all ages • July 25, 3 p.m. at Five Mile Church of the Nazarene, 2701 S. Five Mile Rd., Reptile Show with Corbin Maxey, all ages

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

of Events • August 8, 3 p.m., Explore the Universe with the Discovery Ctr. of Idaho, all ages • August 12, 4:30 p.m., Book Swap, ages 12-18

STEAM-Powered After School Program Kids, go to the Library! at Cole and Ustick each Wednesday for fun and learning. July’s schedule includes: July 3, Squishy Circuits; July 10, Superhero Math; July 17, Cosmic Bowling; July 24, Shrinky Dinks; and July 31, Harry Potter Birthday Celebration. For more information, call 208972-8300. (Other library branches offer similar programs; go to boisepubliclibrary.org.)

July Fourth in Meridian There will be live music, food trucks, games and fireworks at Meridian’s Storey Park from 3 to 10:30 p.m. to mark Independence Day on Thursday, July 4. Go to meridiancity.org.

Rock the Village Enjoy music, festivities, and an artisans’ market every Friday through July 19 from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. at the Village in Meridian. Check it out July 5.

For more information, go to https://meridiancity. org/government/calendar.html.

Fostering Idaho foster/adoption meetings 2019 The first step in finding out more about being a foster or adoptive parent in the State of Idaho is by attending an information or orientation meeting. Meetings are set for 6:30 to 8 p.m. in the Bannock Room on the lower level of St. Luke’s Medical Center at 520 S. Eagle Rd. in Meridian on the following dates: August 12, October 14 and December 9. Meetings will also be held from 6 to 7:30 p.m. at the Meridian Library District

Beginning July, 2019 Please send family-related calendar items to editorgaye@gmail.com

branch at 1326 W. Cherry Ln. on the following dates: July 10, September 4 and November 6. If you have questions in advance, contact Monique Layton, recruitment coordinator, at 208-249-0180 or mlayton4@ewu.edu, or visit www.fosteringidaho.org.

Teen Internship Program Teens may apply to a new Teen Internship Program held at Deer Flat National Wildlife Refuge from July 10 to August 7. The internship will include activities such as professional development, stewardship, and service to the community. The program spans a five-week period and will take place on Wednesdays from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Refuge Visitor Center. The Teen Internship Program offers teens the opportunity to meet professionals from within the environmental field, learn about different career paths they can pursue, and take the lead on a stewardship project.

The program will be held rain or shine at the Refuge Visitor Center near Lake Lowell. This event is supported by Palouse-Clearwater Environmental Institute AmeriCorps. To apply to this program or to receive more information, call 208-467-9278 or email deerflat@fws.gov.

SUMMER CAMPS morning or afternoon sessions $75 ($90 non-members) ages: 4-12

TOUCHABLE TEXTURES August 2-16, 2019 Combine textures to make 2D + 3D projects that are fun to touch and make!

SCHOOL TOURS + ART REACH VISITS

BOOKING OPENS AUGUST 12, 2019 Schedule for the entire 2019-2020 school year!

Priority scheduling August 12-16, 2019 8AM-1 PM and 2PM-5PM. Call or book online: 208-345-8330 ext.136 http://www.boiseartmuseum.org/school-programs/

Chief’s Challenge Kids may learn about leadership and character development with the Chief of the Eagle Police Department and others. From 3:30 to 5 p.m.

Wednesdays, July 10 – August 7, at Eagle City Hall, youngsters will receive weekly lessons in historical events, physical fitness, activities, and games with mentors from Eagle’s public safety, business, and health sectors. Cost is $25. For more information, go to cityofeagle.org or call 208-489-8763.

n

in actio

!

at the Nampa Rec Center

Before School, After School & Full Day! Swimming • Rock Climbing • Court Games Crafts • Snacks and More!

FOR MORE INFORMATION, CALL 208-468-5858 OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT NAMPARECCENTER.ORG www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 13

CALENDAR of Events

Flavorful Fairytales: “The Snail and the Whale” Kids may come to the J.U.M.P. Share Studio at 11 a.m. Thursday, July 11, to hear the story of “The Snail and the Whale.” Snail wants to travel the world and see new places, and what better way to do it than to hitch a ride with a humpback whale. Following the story, participants will craft a whale made of seashells and make cute and tasty snail snacks using fruits and veggies. All ages are welcome with a parent. Registration ends Tuesday, July 9. Go to jumpboise.org or http://register. jacksurbanmeetingplace.org/mastercalendar/.

“Matilda” Roald Dahl’s “Matilda the Musical” will be presented by Music Theatre of Idaho July 11-13 at the Nampa Civic Center. There will be a matinee and evening performances. For tickets or more information, go to nampaciviccenter.com.

Twilight Trifecta at J.U.M.P. Go to J.U.M.P. in downtown Boise for a free family event to kick off the 2019 Twilight Criterium; join in a celebration of three things that make Idaho great: community, cycling, and french fries. The event will be held from 4 to 7 p.m. Friday, July 12, with the following programs: Twilight Criterium Racer Meet & Greet at Autograph Alley; Chrono Kristin Armstrong Awards Ceremony; and Free Fry Day courtesy of the J.R. Simplot Co. This a great opportunity to experience J.U.M.P. and Simplot’s beautiful outdoor community gathering space. For more information, go to jumpboise.org.

Street Outlaws The Street Outlaws No Prep Kings will be at Firebird Raceway in Eagle on Friday, July 12, and again on Saturday, July 13. Firebird is just one of many stops that will be filmed for a TV show on the Discovery Channel. For more information, go to firebirdonline.com.

Deaf Awareness Day Roaring Springs will offer discounted admission rates for the deaf and hard of hearing and their families from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday, July 13.

For more information, go to roaringsprings.com.

Museum’s 30-year anniversary celebration The Idaho Museum of Mining and Geology, 2455 Old Penitentiary Rd. in Boise, will celebrate its 30th anniversary with public activities from noon to 3 p.m. Sunday, July 14 (a members-only reception is set for 4 p.m.). There will be gold panning, geode-cracking, and a Lake Idaho lecture at 1 p.m. A free mineral will be given to each child.

Admission is free. For more information, go to www.idahomuseum.org or call Shirley at 208-2833186.

cont.

Swingtone Musical Theatre Camp Swingtone Musical Theatre camp will be held July 15-19 in Nampa, with a public performance at 7 p.m. July 19. The camp is for kids in grades K-8 and will be held Monday through Friday from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. Cost is $40 per child, plus $8 for a t-shirt/prop fee. For location and other information, go to www.SwingtoneTheatre.com or email Kate Haderlie at kmitch89@gmail.com.

Zoo expansion grand opening A Zoo Boise expansion grand opening will take place on Wednesday, July 17. New species will be include Nile crocodiles, African wild hogs, baboons and more — 2.5 acres will be packed full of the animals and culture of the Gorongosa National Park of Mozambique. Go to zooboise.org.

“The Neverending Story” performances The Youth Summer Play at Boise Little Theater, in partnership with Boise Parks and Rec, is “The Neverending Story.” Performances will be held at 7:30 p.m. July 19, 20, 25 and 26; and at 2 p.m. July 21 and 27. For tickets or other information, go to boiselittletheater.org or call 208-342-5104.

Teen Pool Parties

Friday pool parties for teens, ages 12-17, will be held from 9 to 10:30 p.m. on July 19 at Natatorium Pool and on August 2 at Borah Pool. Cost is only $2 per person.

7th Annual Kids Triathlon Nampa Rec Center’s annual triathlon for kids ages 6-13 is set for July 20 and will include swimming, biking and running. The 3-event race promotes fitness and improves selfconfidence. Registration deadline is July 15. Go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

WaterShed Weekend Join the Boise WaterShed every third Saturday of the month for nature and art activities the whole family can enjoy. Activities take place from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Admission is free, and no pre-registration is needed. On July 20, the topic is “Idaho Beaver Drop.” Did you know that in the 1940s beavers were relocated into Idaho’s backcountry by dropping the parachuting rodents from planes? Come explore the fascinating world of beavers and attempt the beaver drop challenge. For more information, go to www.

BoiseEnvironmentalEducation.org.

14 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

Trivia Night All ages are welcome at the Nampa Public Library for Trivia Night from 6 to 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, July 24. There will be team play, with a wide variety of categories and questions. Refreshments will be provided. Go to nampalibrary.libcal.com.

Boise WaterShed Adult Programs The Boise WaterShed holds programs for children and families but also has a number of programs just for adults, including Friday Night Adult Earthworks, where participants create artworks (or “earthworks”). These classes are taught by a team of artists and scientists who explore science topics and offer lessons in art methods. The topic on July 26 is “The Curlew Crew,” and on August 23, “The Rise of Urban Farming” will be explored.

Pre-registration is required, and the cost is $15 per person. Class descriptions may be found at bee. cityofboise.org/learn/calendar/#/. Registration ends one week prior to the class start date.

Fourth Fridays in Downtown Nampa Every fourth Friday of the month in downtown Nampa, there will be free live music, dinner and dessert trucks, beer, and family activities on the lawn at Lloyd Square. Bring blankets and chairs and enjoy yourself from 6 to 9 p.m. on the following evenings: July 26, August 23, and September 27.

Run Wild at Zoo Boise The annual fun run at Zoo Boise for children ages 2-11 will begin at 9 a.m. Saturday, July 27. Cost is $20 per child for members and $25 per child for non-members. More information is available at www.zooboise.org/run-wild or by calling 208-6087760.

Boise WaterShed Exploration Series This series is designed for adults and allows them to learn more about the Boise River watershed.

A Diversion Dam Tour is set for July 27, and a Foothills Geology Hike is planned for August 24.

Class descriptions may be found at bee.cityofboise.org/learn/calendar/#/ or go to www.BoiseEnvironmentalEducation.org.

Autism Awareness Day Roaring Springs will offer discounted admission rates for those with autism and their families from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Monday, July 29. For more information, go to roaringsprings.com.

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Star Wars Jedi Movie Making Work on a stop-motion animated Lego Star Wars movie during a hands-on class from 9 a.m. to noon each day July 29-31 and August 1. Instructors will use Frames Software to take participants through an entire digital filmmaking process. Cost is $140, and the program is child-friendly. Register at https://www. cityofeagle.org/487/Register-for-a-Class.

“Cats” “Cats” is coming to the Nampa Civic Center August 1-3.

A presentation of Music Theatre of Idaho, there will be a matinee and evening performances. For tickets or more information, go to nampaciviccenter.com.

Smokey Bear’s 75th birthday celebration Boise National Forest employees, along with partners and members of the Treasure Valley Fire Prevention and Safety Co-op, invite the public to join in the celebration of Smokey Bear’s 75th birthday. The celebration will begin at 10 a.m. Friday, August 9, at Julius M. Kleiner Memorial Park in Meridian. Birthday cookies, along with ice cream provided by the John William Jackson Fund and Meadow Gold Dairy, will be served at noon. During the free event, there will be firewise safety information and kids’ activities. Smokey Bear will also be making an appearance. For more information, call Taryn Robinson at 208-587-7838 or the Boise National Forest Supervisor’s Office at 208373-4100.

Family Snooze at the Zoo Overnight Zoo guides will provide your family with evening and early morning treks through Zoo Boise to investigate animals, their habitats, behavior, and care during Family Snooze at the Zoo Friday and Saturday, August 9-10. There will also be activities, games, and art projects, as well as an evening snack and a continental breakfast. Indoor/outdoor sleeping areas are provided.

For costs and other information, go to zooboise.org.

Creative Good Auction Boise’s creative professionals give back to the community by auctioning off their services at reduced rates from 6 to 8:30 p.m. Wednesday, September 25, at the Linen Building in downtown Boise. The Creative Good Auction is an opportunity to bargain shop while helping to retain local talent, support the CATCH nonprofit, and have fun. The $20 registration fee gets you a paddle to raise for a silent auction and unlimited drinks and dinner. Check the website at creativegoodauction.org for updates on auction items and to get registered. Examples of services up for grabs include graphic design, logos and brochures, photography, and videography and audio, as well as programming and business consulting.

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 15

WEDNESDAY’S CHILD

The following information is provided by Wednesday’s Child, an organization that helps Idaho foster children find permanent homes.

Kaden, 16, enjoys classic video games

C

alling all adventurous single parents! After recently proving to himself how brave he is by pushing past his fear and conquering zip-lining for the first time, 16-year-old Kaden is excited to find a parent who wants to be a part of all of his future adventures.

Along with his newfound love of zip-lining, Kaden enjoys other outdoor activities as well, such as swimming and camping. His true passion, however, lies in computers and classic video games. Describing himself as a “PlayStation kind of a guy,” Kaden loves classic games like Grand Turismo and Metroid. With a wealth of knowledge about computers, he one day plans to go to college at Boise State and get a degree that will allow him to go on to work for Microsoft. Kaden describes his “Dream Day” as one spent shopping all day long on Amazon for computer and video game stuff.

Some of Kaden’s other passions include watching Adam Sandler comedies and old-school scary movies, and he loves listening to ‘90s rap music. He really enjoys playing and watching football and cheering on his favorite team, the Los Angeles Rams. With a love of cooking, Kaden reports that he is particularly skilled at making fabulous steaks, spaghetti and

16 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

anything breakfast-food related. Nachos with jalapenos are his favorite meal and he could eat them every day. This eclectic boy loves to travel and would one day like to visit Portland, Detroit, and Canada.

Kaden is excited about the possibility of finding his Forever Home and hopes that it happens very quickly. He would ideally love to be adopted by a single parent who lives in southern Idaho, where he could be an only child. Kaden wants an adoptive parent who is structured, patient, kind and fun and who will support his ongoing contact with his siblings and his grandparents, who are all very important to him.

If you share in Kaden’s interests and have a spirit for adventure, you may be just the parent he has been waiting for.

Please inquire today to find out more about this amazing young man.

For more information on the Idaho Wednesday’s Child Program, visit www.idahowednesdayschild.org, or contact Recruitment Coordinator Shawn White at swhite52@ewu.edu or cell 208-488-8989 if you have specific questions.

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Summer Fun July–September JULY EVENTS Eagle Fun Days Downtown Eagle July 5-6 The 2019 Eagle Fun Days will feature a Family Fun Night, Eagle Fun Run, Cornhole Tournament, Classic Car Show, Wet n’ Wild Parade, and fireworks https://www.cityofeagle.org/498/EagleFun-Days Lavender Merchant Lavender Festival Kuna July 6-7 Lunch, desserts, lavender products and u-pick bouquets at 2871 Stroebel Road thelavendermerchant.net Twilight Criterium Downtown Boise July 13 Fast-paced cycling race in the heart of downtown Boise; kids’ cycling event also featured https://downtownboise.org/events/ twilight-criterium Snake River Stampede Ford Idaho Center-Nampa July 16-20 The 104th annual event includes community-wide festivities and a top 10 professional rodeo that is action-packed every night snakeriverstampede.com Canyon County Fair Caldwell July 25-28 Carnival rides, food, and musical entertainment highlight this annual event; performers will include Collective Soul, Tracy Bird and Randy Houser canyoncountyfair.org AUGUST EVENTS Kuna Days Bernie Fisher Park and Downtown Kuna August 2-3 The 2019 theme is “Through the Decades,” and the event will feature a free kids’ carnival and other highlights kunachamber.com

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Sun Valley Center Arts & Crafts Festival Atkinson Park-Ketchum August 9-11 Marking its 51st year, the annual exhibit of handmade works by artists from throughout the country also includes live music, food vendors and a children’s activity area sunvalleycenter.org

Wagon Days Ketchum August 30-September 1 62nd anniversary celebration marks the days before railroads or automobiles reached town; includes a non-motorized parade, bareback riding demonstrations, a street party, fun children’s activities, meandering musicians, and much more wagondays.net

Nampa Festival of the Arts Lakeview Park-Nampa August 10-11 33rd annual celebration of the creative spirit of a diverse community, the event features more than 190 artisan booths; also includes live entertainment, concessions, free activities for kids, and specialty wines and beers nampaparks.org

SEPTEMBER EVENTS

Caldwell Night Rodeo Caldwell August 13-17 85th annual event includes YMCA Family Night, Power of Pink Night, Patriot Night and more caldwellnightrodeo.com Western Idaho Fair Expo Idaho-Boise August 16-25 The 2019 theme is “Play Up Your Wild Side”; there is always a carnival, plenty to eat, and various live entertainment, this year featuring the comedy of Alfred & Seymour, Washboard Willy, Kachunga and the Alligator, and much more idahofair.com Warbird Roundup Warhawk Air Museum-Nampa August 24-25 17th annual amazing aerial show for the whole family warhawkairmuseum.org Twin Falls County Fair Filer August 28-September 2 Entertainment includes a carnival, rodeo, musicians, magicians, and fair food tcfair.com

Air Force Appreciation Day Mountain Home September 7 59th annual event theme is “One Town – One Team”; the day is held in honor of the brave men and women who are serving or have served their country and is highlighted by a parade, as well as great food in Carl Miller Park mountainhomechamber.com Art in the Park Julia Davis Park-Boise September 6-8 One of the city’s premier cultural events, highlighting the works of artists and craftspeople and including entertainment, food and kids’ activities boiseartmuseum.org Hyde Park Street Fair Camels Back Park-Boise’s North End September 13-15 Annual fair includes vendors, kids’ activities, live music, exotic foods, community entertainers, and a wine garden northendboise.org Thousand Springs Festival of the Arts Ritter Island State Park-Thousand Springs Grade, Wendell September 21-22 This 27th annual arts festival is a fun, cultural event that takes place near one of Idaho’s natural wonders: Thousand Springs; the program features live entertainment, food and beverage https://visitsouthidaho.com/event/ thousand-springs-festival-arts/ FitOneBoise Healthy Living Expo – September 26-27 at Boise Centre Race Day – September 28, starting in Downtown Boise FitOneBoise.org

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 17

The OUTDOORSMAN

Learning to trap … by snaring Mom

By Chuck Carpenter

I

had the best parents any kid could ever have. My dad and mom spent every minute they could with me and my two brothers. Most of the time we were fishing, hunting, camping, trapping and things like that. When my dad was working, my mom was with us most of the time. She should have a big blue ribbon with a gold medal on it just because she had the stamina to put up with the three of us.

In the early 60’s, we lived in Alaska.

My parents rented a place out of town so us kids had plenty of room to roam around and hunt and fish. Just like most of the places out of town, the house was heated with wood. We either had a spring or hauled water and, yep, we had a outside toilet as most places had at that time, at least out of town.

My dad was working for the US Fish and Wildlife Services helping livestock producers that were losing livestock to predators. Some of the problems were caused by bears. At the time the Regional Director for the program flew up from the Regional Office in the States to visit with my dad about coming up with some type of a foot snare to catch bears instead of using traps. After he flew back to the lower 48, my dad spent a few days in the shop working on foot snares. Within a few days he had a few proto types he wanted to try out. He would set them

Chuck Carpenter

and put his arm or foot in them to see how they worked and go back to the shop and tweak them then try it again.

My two brothers and I were always interested in trapping so we were ready to help when we could. He would set a snare and we would volunteer to step into it. It was great fun.

One morning Dad left early and after breakfast my brothers and I were outside hanging out like we did most of the time. We were close to the shop and all Dad’s new foot snares were hanging on the side of it. We heard the house door close and we looked toward the house and there was Mom headed for the ole outhouse. We all looked at each other and smiled. We had just thought of a wonderful way to really test Dad’s new foot snares.

Ole Mom went back in the house so we grabbed a couple of the new foot snares and sneaked over to the trail that Be a legend. went from the house to the outhouse.

Insure your life.

Two of us went to work setting up Be a legend. the snares while the third kept an eye Insure your life. out for Mom. We slipped out into the With the right life insurance, you can leave a legacy for brush where she wouldn’t notice us and your family. I’m here to help.

LET’S TALK TODAY. patiently waited until she headed to the With the right life insurance, KenKen Wells, Agent With the right life insurance, outhouse again. She was hiking right Wells, Agent leave 600600 N NMidland Blvd you canyou leavecan a legacy for a legacy for Midland Blvd Nampa,ID ID 83651 Nampa, 83651 along your family.

I’m here to help. your family.

I’m here to help. when all of a sudden she stepped Bus: 208-466-4162 Bus:www.kenwells.net 208-466-4162 LET’S TALK TODAY. www.kenwells.net LET’S TALK TODAY. right where we wanted her to. There was a big puff of dust that flew into the air followed by a thump when the State Farm Life Insurance Company (Not licensed in MA, NY or WI) State Farm Life and Accident Assurance Company (Licensed in NY and WI) Bloomington, IL snare grabbed her by the leg. The next

Be a legend.

Insure your life.

1708145

Ken Wells, Agent 600 N Midland Blvd Nampa, ID 83651 Bus: 208-466-4162 www.kenwells.net

State Farm Life Insurance Company (Not licensed in MA, NY or WI) State Farm Life and Accident Assurance Company (Licensed in NY and WI) Bloomington, IL 1708145

18 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

few moments was really exciting. I didn’t realize that ole Mom could jump that high. I think she went straight up to the end of the snare and then back down.

I don’t think any of us boys realized what was really going to happen. We had never heard our mother use such language either.

We stayed hidden out in the brush for quite a while. Over the next few months we snared poor ole Mom many times. I will tell you, though, I think that’s how we were able to become proficient trappers.

Each trip to the outhouse she was harder to catch than the last time. She was almost what trappers call “Trap wise.”

One evening after supper was over, my brothers and I was out in the yard and Dad approached us with a smile on his face. “I need to visit with you fellers a minute,” he said.

“You boys might want to cut your mom some slack,” he smiled and said.

“She might chop off yur groceries if ya don’t quit snaring her on the way to outhouse!”

She never did chop off our groceries.

We did slow down on snaring Mom. My dad always said she had as much to do with making us trappers as he did.

Chuck, his Mom Shirley and his little brother Dean

Chuck Carpenter, originally of Montana but now of Idaho, likes to hunt, fish and trap. He worked on a farm as a boy; then, as an adult, he took a job with the Department of Interior’s Animal Damage Control, now called USDA Wildlife Services. He ultimately became a district supervisor. He retired in 2011. www.idahofamilymagazine.com

PARK hopping

A summer-long activity for all

By Mary Ann Wilcox

Park hopping is one of my family’s favorite summer activities. Most communities have parks, and regardless of whether they are big or small, all have space to play, picnic, and just enjoy your family. I have a bag of staples I always keep in my car at this time of year. It helps us be ready for anything and makes sure fun can be had wherever we are. My ‘park bag’ has come in handy for bad weather at top with a towel, and slide down a hill.) soccer games and other un-scheduled events, • Play Hot Lava on the playground. Hot too. Here’s a list of what I keep in it: Lava is basically tag, but you can’t touch the • Pocket rain ponchos – rain, shine or tidal ground because it’s “hot lava.” It is also fun to wave! play when there are hot lava monsters. Those Mary Ann Wilcox • Sweatshirts for each family member – are people who are “it,” and they can touch the ground but just in case it gets cold. no one else can. (This game is best for kids who can cross • Sand toys and shovels – for digging just about the monkey bars.) anywhere. Purchase garden spades at Walmart or Target These are some of our favorites, but we would love for this purpose. They never break and will last for several to hear some of yours! Go to our website at www. years. Most of the time you can get them for about a dollar. maryannscupboard.com and share them with us. If you want • Shelf-stable snack – a quick snack can keep kids happy even more ways to have fun at home or nearby, check out our and playing longer.

“Adventures at Home!” book, also on the website.

• Crayons and paper – for making sketches, texture drawings and keeping little ones busy during boring soccer Offering Summer Pre-school or baseball games.

Language Groups & Social Groups!!

• Inflatable beach ball – fun for a quick game. Tie a rope between trees and hang ribbon on it for a net. The beach ball works great as a volleyball for all ages. I also like a small frisbee or nerf-like balls.

• Lightweight blanket – for sitting, sleeping or keeping warm. It all works.

• A beach towel – for sponging off the dog after a dip in the pond, or for wiping muddy feet or drying off after a dip in a creek.

Parks are also a great resource because they are usually not too far from where you live. Boise has more than 30 great parks that are less than 20 minutes from my house. They all have different amenities and offer different recreational opportunities. Almost all have playgrounds. You are really just limited by your imagination when it comes to things to do. Here are a few of our go-to ideas: • Color on the sidewalks with bark, leaves that you roll Boise & Nampa Locations up, or flowers. It’s free, washable, and loads of fun.

• Race sticks or leaves in a pond or creek.

208.466.1077 | www.BoiseChatterbox.com • Take paper, crayons, and leaves and make leaf prints. Place the leaf under the paper and scribble over the top of it with a crayon.

• Roll, sled, or ice block down a hill. It is fun to have races, too. (Ice blocking is essentially sledding in the • • summer. You use a large block of ice for a sled, cover the •

•

www.idahofamilymagazine.com • •

•

• Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 19 •

Top Picks for swimming pools in

By Adrianne Goff

The Top Picks lists are an ongoing feature of Idaho Family Magazine written by Adrianne Goff, Associate Publisher.

Our lists highlight restaurants, businesses and events in the Boise area that are a good resource and family-friendly. Items are listed alphabetically rather than ranked. To submit an idea for the Top Picks list, email adrianne@globalspd.com.

See our website at idahofamily.com for extended reviews and photos!

The sad truth about drowning is every kid is at risk even if they can swim. Go over a few of these live-saving tips with your kids to prevent tragedy from striking.

Water safety isn’t just about keeping kids safe in a pool.

Bathroom water safety is also very important. And things you might not think about like: catchment ponds, drainage ditches and runoff areas in your neighborhood can be a dangerous hazard.

Supervision is the #1 Rule All kids should be watched by an adult whenever they are around water. This is true whether the water is in a bathtub, a wading pool, a front yard fish pond, a swimming pool, a spa, an ocean, or a lake.

Young children are especially at risk. They can drown in less than 2 inches of water. That means drowning can happen in a sink, toilet bowl, fountain, bucket, inflatable pool, or a small body of standing water around your home, such as a ditch filled with rainwater.

Always watch children closely when they’re in or near any water, no matter what their swimming skills are.

Even kids who know how to swim can be at risk for drowning. For instance, a child could slip and fall on the pool deck, lose consciousness, and fall into the pool and possibly drown.

Young kids and weak swimmers should have an adult swimmer within arm’s reach to provide “touch supervision.”

Pool Rules If you have a pool, please insist that the following rules are followed: • Keep toys away from the pool when the pool is not in use.

• Empty blow-up pools after each use.

• No tricycles or other riding toys at poolside.

• No electrical appliances near the pool.

• No diving in a pool that is not deep enough.

• No running on the pool deck.

20 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

BOISE AQUATIC CENTER: INDOOR SWIMMING POOL 5959 N Discovery Way (208) 377-9622 Partnered with West Valley YMCA, this pool is entirely indoors. Open all year round.

Hours:

Mon-Fri 5:00 am to 10:00 pm.

Saturday 7:00 am to 8:00 pm.

Sunday 12:00 pm to 6:00 pm.

Entry Fee: Day Pass – Youth $4.13, Adults $9.01.

Family month pass $54.60 (family of 5).

Adult month pass $32.75.

Youth month pass $16.40.

BORAH POOL & BORAH PARK SPLASH PAD 801 S. Aurora Dr. (208) 608-7675 Borah Pool is open from May 24th to August 18th.

Hours:

Daily 1:30 to 5:30 pm and 7 to 9 pm.

August 19th to August 30th 3:00 to 6:00 pm (The shallow area is also open Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:35 to 6:35 pm).

Lap Swim (16+ years):

Daily 12:05 to 1:30 pm. Mon-Fri 5:35 to 6:35 pm.

August 19th - August 30th, Daily 1:00 to 3:00 pm and 6:00 to 7:00 pm.

Entry Fee: 11 years old and under $2.00, 12-17 years $2.50, adults $3.75, 65+ free.

Season Passes: 17 and under $20 (Boise resident), $31 (non-residents). 18 and older $38 (Boise resident) $58.90 (non-residents).

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

the Boise area + water safety NATATORIUM POOL AND HYDROTUBE 1811 E Warm Springs Ave. (208) 608-7680 The Nat is open from May 24th to August 18th.

FAIRMONT POOL 7929 W Northview St. (208) 608-7680 Fairmont Pool is open from May 24th to August 11th.

Hours: Daily 1:30 to 5:30 pm and 7 to 9 pm.

Lap Swim (16+): Daily 12:05 - 1:30 pm. Monday, Wednesday, Friday (two lanes only): 4:30 to 5:30 pm Mon-Fri 5:35 to 6:35 pm.

Entry Fee: 11 years old and under $2.00, 12-17 years $2.50, adults $3.75, 65+ free.

Season Passes: 17 and under $20 (Boise resident), $31 (non-residents). 18 and older $38 (Boise resident) $58.90 (non-residents).

IVYWILD POOL 2250 S Leadville Ave. (208) 608-7675 Ivywild Pool is open from May 24th to August 18th.

Hours: Daily 1:30 to 5:30 pm and 7 to 9 pm.

Lap Swim(16+): Daily 12:05 to 1:30 pm.

Entry Fee:11 years old and under $2.25, 12-17 years $2.75, adults $4.00, 65+ free. Family Swim, Wednesday Evening/Weekends: Per family rate of $10.00.

Season Passes: 17 and under $20 (Boise resident), $31 (non-residents). 18 and older $38 (Boise residents) $58.90 (non-residents).

LOWELL POOL 1601 N 28th St. (208) 608-7675 Lowell Pool is open from May 24th to August 11th.

Hours:

Mon-Sat 1:30 to 5:00 pm and 7 to 9 pm.

Sun 1:30 to 5:00 pm.

Lap Swim (16+):

Mon-Fri 12:30 to 1:30 pm and 5:05 to 6:35 pm.

Sat-Sun: 12 to 1:30 pm.

Entry Fee: 11 years old and under $1.50, 12-17 years $2.00, adults $3.25, 65+ free.

Season Passes:

17 and under $20 (Boise resident), $31 (non-residents). 18 and older $38 (Boise resident) $58.90 (non-residents).

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Hours:

Mon-Sat 1:30 to 5:30 pm and 7 to 9 pm.

Sun 1:30 to 5:30 pm.

Lap Swim (16+):

Daily 12:05 to 1:30 pm. Mon-Fri 5:35 to 6:35 pm (limited space). June 10th to July 26th, Mon-Fri 6:30 to 8 am.

Entry Fee: 11 years old and under $2.00, 12-17 years $2.50, adults $3.75, 65+ free.

Season Passes:

17 and under $20 (Boise resident), $31 (non-residents). 18 and older $38 (Boise resident) $58.90 (non-residents).

ROARING SPRINGS 400 W. Overland Road (208) 884-8842 Partnered with Idaho Family Magazine for $10.00 OFF Wednesdays Hours: Daily 11:00 to 8:00 Entry Fee: Full-day admission: $26.99 and $31.99, depending on height. Kids 3 and younger are free with an adult. Kids must be 12 or older to be on their own.

Season Passes:

Check website

SOUTH POOL 921 S Shoshone St. (208) 608-7680 South Pool is open from May 24th to August 10th.

Hours: Mon-Sat 1:30 to 5:00 pm and 7 to 9 pm.

Entry Fee: 11 years old and under $1.50, 12-17 years $2.00, adults $3.25, 65+ free.

Season Passes:

17 and under $20 (Boise resident), $31 (nonresidents). 18 and older $38 (Boise resident) $58.90 (non-residents).

Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 21

KIDS’ questions Continued from Page 5

“The biggest thing I’ve learned is helping children learn how to ask questions about people who are different than we are.”

resilient adults. A lot of the time, children learn these skills by asking questions about things they’ve never seen, heard, or experienced.

Our society has trained us that it isn’t polite to talk about other people, it isn’t kind to point or ask questions or single someone out for being different than we are. But being a pediatric therapist has taught me to live my life quite the opposite. I welcome the questions of children, and I love seeing little glimpses of the world through their eyes.

The biggest thing I’ve learned is in helping children learn how to ask questions about people who are different than we are. In helping them learn that it’s okay to ask questions and seek information or understanding when we want to learn more about something, but the way in which we ask these questions can make the difference in whether the encounter is positive or negative for the people involved.

Children are always watching, always growing, always soaking up every bit of information around them like adorable little sponges. When they ask a question such as “what’s wrong with her legs” it gives us an instant opportunity to help them rephrase their question next time by our answer alone. I always try to start by correcting the question in a gentle way, such as, “Nothing is wrong with her, but some people are born with __blank__.” Next time, we might notice this child phrases his or her question from a “why does she wear those on her legs” rather than “what’s wrong with her legs” simply by the way we’ve answered questions in the past.

I also love to bring the person being spoken about into the conversation as soon as possible, if the situation allows.

If a child asks me why another kid uses a reverse facing walker or a wheelchair to get around, I might say something like, “That’s a good question, let’s ask her. Hey friend, do you mind if we ask you why you use your special walker/wheelchair/etc.?”

Sometimes the biggest source of anxiety is found in trying to silence a question rather than answer it, but I’ve learned time and time again from both my sweet patients and their wonderful parents that asking them the question directly feels a lot better than being spoken about right next to them as though they aren’t even in the room. I encourage the children in my life to ask all sorts of questions and have considered it such an honor to help them learn how to phrase questions in a way that it doesn’t hurt the feelings of someone else. I’ve even found myself feeling braver in social situations when someone looks or acts differently than I do, and rather than ignoring or avoiding it, I allow it to become an open and gentle conversation.

It’s a natural tendency to be afraid of the unknown, and sometimes it feels better to turn our heads or shush our children when they ask questions that make us uncomfortable; but the only way to get rid of discomfort is to face the things that are making us uncomfortable headon. The more questions we ask and the more we learn along the way, the more we will see that differences aren’t so scary when we learn about them. Just as the scary monster in the corner of our dark room becomes a mere coat rack when we turn on the light, the things that make us different and unique from one another become a lot less scary when we learn how to call them by their name and see them for exactly what they are.

Help your child see and be seen by answering all of the questions they ask with a gentle, fearless smile.

Together, we can step out of the scary unknown darkness.

Together, we will turn on the light to see all of the beautiful unicorn braces, lightning fast wheelchairs, and beautiful differences this world has to offer.

Macaile Hutt is an occupational therapist in Boise, as well as a writer and contributor for The Sensory Project. Her therapy style takes a holistic and child-directed approach, with the goal of children succeeding across multiple environments. She holds a master’s degree in occupational therapy from A.T. Still University and has received continuing education in Handwriting Without Tears, pediatric kinesiotaping, Interactive Metronome, and Beckman Oral Motor. She is co-owner of the company Human Code, a candle and retail company with a larger purpose of promoting kindness and generosity. In her free time, she enjoys creative writing, backpacking, and traveling.

22 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

www.idahofamilymagazine.com

COLOR ME! Bring this antique steam tractor back to life with color, then submit your colorful masterpiece to artist Heather Haley at JUMP during “Beyond the Block” on Thursday, July 18th from 5 – 9 p.m. Be sure to take a selfie with this 1903 Russell traction engine, located on site, to receive a special surprise gift. Learn more about Beyond the Block Summer Community Celebrations at JUMPBoise.org.

1903 Russell Traction Engine

Tractor Artwork by Heather Haley

www.HeatherMarieHaley.com.

Tarter Family Medicine has a new provider...

Meet Dr. Anne Koster!

Anne Koster, DNP

Anne brings many years of experience in ER and Family Medicine to our clinic. She treats patients for full family medical care including same-day acute issues, wellness visits, sports physicals and general preventative care. *Most commercial (non-medicare) insurances accepted.

Tarter Family Medicine 1560 N. Crestmont Dr. Suite A Meridian, ID 83642 www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Call today to establish with Dr. Koster!

1-208-650-4888 Idaho Family Magazine | JULY 2019 23

Forever homes.

Dream rates.

Whether building, buying, or moving up, ICCU has the home loan to fit your needs: • Fast approvals • No-fee and low-cost loan options • IHFA, FHA, VA and Rural Housing Loans • Construction Loans available

Apply online, or stop by your local branch.

WE BELIEVE home really is sweet.

24 JULY 2019 | Idaho Family Magazine

www.idahofamilymagazine.com