Columbia Christian Magazine Fall 2015

Columbia Christian A Magazine for Followers of Christ in Columbia, Missouri

Fall 2015

Faith In Action: Local organizations that are giving their time and talents to others A Reporter’s Recovery: A journalist’s story of addiction, ‘losing it all’ and, finally, finding his way

Calling for refuge Page 20

How Jen Wheeler is transforming the lives of refugees from around the world e!

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Columbia Christian Magazine

Fall 2015

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staff Fred Parry Publisher

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Melody Parry

Associate Publisher

Sandy Selby Copy Editor

Kalie Clennin

Operations Manager

Carolyn Preul

Editorial Design

Trever Griswold Joe Waner

Advertising Design

5 News from Local Churches. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Faith in Action: Local Christians Living By Example . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 The Crossing’s Keith Simon on Marriage. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Scott Moyers: A Reporter’s Recovery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Calling For Refuge. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Tonya Christensen: The Journey. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Young Life’s Luke Neal On Parenting Teens . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 2015 CoMo Christian Men’s Conference Recap. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Col. Jim Coy is Still in the Fight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Publisher’s Note: Walking the Walk. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Mac Emery Heather Finn Laura Gerding Contributing Writers

Tonya Christensen Scott Moyers Luke Neal Keith Simon Contributing Columnists

Joe Schmitter Rosemarie Peck Marketing Representatives

John Lapsley

Distribution Manager

www.CoMoChristian.com

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Publisher’s Note

Walking the Walk

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’ve always been impressed by people who have the courage to put their faith in action. It’s one thing to talk about the injustice and unfairness of the world in which we live, but it’s something completely different when you stand up and dare to make a difference.

We learn in the Book of James that having faith without taking action on that faith is essentially the same as having no faith.

“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?

Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

(James 2:14-17, NIV) In this issue of Columbia Christian magazine, we meet an impressive collection of Columbians who have taken significant steps to change the lives of people who have fallen into hard times. Through great sacrifice and generosity, these heroes among us teach us a great deal about living a life inspired by the works of Jesus and his followers. From providing a safe haven to women in distress to finding ways to comfort the sickest of children, these stories of modern day saints are sure to inspire you.

I’m also inspired by the story of Columbia’s Jen and Adam Wheeler and their City of Refuge ministry. Several months ago, I posted on Facebook that I was looking for people in Columbia who were shining examples of those who truly live and act by their faith. I was shocked by the number of responses and private messages I received from that one post. The name that appeared in those responses most frequently was Jen Wheeler. I had met Jen many years ago when she was working in the advertising and marketing profession. Little did I know that she had become the mastermind behind City of Refuge and Safi Sana. I hope you enjoy reading about this amazing local ministry.

Finally, I want to draw your attention to the very personal story of journalist Scott Moyers. I first met Scott when he was working as a reporter for the Columbia Daily Tribune. I later hired him to become the editor of the Columbia Business Times. After selling that magazine in 1999, I lost track of Scott until a friend shared a link to a two-page story about him in the St. Louis Post Dispatch on February 3, 2014. I hope you’ll be moved by the story of his struggle with drug addiction and how God has been working in his life to bring him back from the brink of death.

We publish this magazine as a way of honoring God by using our gifts in the marketplace to serve him. I’d be lying if I told you it wasn’t a challenge on so many levels. Please know that the local businesses you see advertising in this magazine are what make this ministry possible.

Please reward them with your patronage or by simply thanking them for their generous support in helping us spread the word of our loving and gracious God. We couldn’t do it without them.

God Bless,

Fred J. Parry Publisher fred@comochristian.com

To Request Advertising Information:

Please call 573-449-6644 or email Fred Parry at Fred@CoMoChristian.com.

To Request Additional Copies:

Please contact Kalie Clennin at 573-442-1430 or by emailing Kalie at Kalie@InsideColumbia.net.

To Contribute News Briefs and Stories:

Please submit news briefs and story pitches to Fred Parry, Publisher, Columbia Chrstian magazine, 711 West Broadway, Columbia, Mo., 65203 or by email to Fred@CoMoChristian.com.

To Support Our Ministry:

Please consider advertising your business, church or religious organization in our magazine. Financial contributions may be made payable to the CoMo Christian Men’s Coalition, 711 West Broadway, Columbia, Mo., 65203.

Your prayers that God will use this magazine bring mid-Missourians closer to Christ would also be appreciated.

Columbia Christian Magazine is produced by ICM Custom Publishing Solutions, 47 E. Broadway, Columbia, Mo., 65203, 573-442-1430. Copyright 2015. All rights reserved.

Reproduction or use of any editorial or graphic content without the express written permission of the publisher is prohibited.

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News from Local Churches

140-Minute Food Drive

Men’s Conference Set For March 12

rairie Grove Baptist Church will be celebrating its 140th Anniversary with a 140-minute food drive to benefit the Shepherd’s Basket Food Pantry, a local community food pantry. The drive will be held on Saturday, November 14 from 10 a.m. to 12:20 p.m. in the church’s parking lot 860 East Park Lane in Columbia (between I-70 exits 131 & 133 next to Missouri Furniture in Sunrise Estates). Donors are encouraged to drop off cans of food or cash donations. Members of the Prairie Grove’s youth group and college group will be there to accept your food/cash donations.

he 2016 CoMo Christian Men’s Conference will be held on Saturday, March 12, 2016, at The Crossing church in Columbia. More than 1,400 men are expected to attend the 3rd annual conference, which brings together men from throughout the region for a day featuring Christian speakers who offer valuable insight into the challenges men face in the course of their daily lives.

The first keynote speaker to be announced is Ben Stuart. Stuart is the Executive Director for Breakaway Ministries on the campus of Texas A&M University. What started as a gathering of just 12 students in 1989 has now grown into a campus ministry that brings together 10,000 students on a weekly basis. Breakaway was responsible for launching the acclaimed Shalom Project which provides relief effort all over the world. Stuart also authored the book This Changes Everything: Lessons From James, an eight-session Bible study that unpacks the Book of James for young adults.

Conference organizers expect to announce three additional speakers and the line-up of musicians for the conference by Dec. 1.

Tickets are available online now at an Early Bird price of $39.95 through Dec.31, 2015.

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For more information on the event, please call Grant Timbrook at (573) 819-9941 or (573) 474-5106.

This event will be held rain or shine.

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en years ago, four couples and their families invested several months of their lives forming what would become known as the Revolution Church. These couples were soon joined by friends, and the Revolution held our first service in January 2006, with 28 people in attendance.

One definition of a revolution is a sudden, complete, radical change. That is what we see happening in the lives and families of Columbia and the surrounding communities.

On October 1, the Revolution Church began transforming 1907 N. Providence into our new church

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For more information, visit www.CoMoChristian.com.

home. Our first service is planned for January 3, with a 10-year anniversary celebration later in the month.

We have had an incredible opportunity open to us and we are excited to walk through that door. It is amazing when God visits your church; it is even more amazing when He visits your city. Our biggest challenge will not be to attract people to come to church; our biggest challenge will be to continue to empower the people to be the church.

There are hundreds of heroes and partners who have faithfully created a great foundation from which we build.

Please follow us on Facebook and check out our website at revolutioncolumbia.com for updates and information.

faith

in Action

By heather finn Sometimes, as a Christian, one can feel he has reached a wall in his relationship with God. A believer can feel close to Him, and yet wish to be immersed in faith even more. For some, the solution is finding God in volunteer work. Here, we take a look at local Christians and Christian organizations that have taken their faith one step further by giving their time and talents to others.

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The Crossing Church’s Prison Ministry at Algoa Correctional Center When a member of The Crossing Church first approached that faith community with the idea of getting involved with a InnerChange Freedom Initiative (IFI) prison ministry at Algoa Correctional Center in Jefferson City, something resonated with Greg Early. He had worked in prisons before, and he felt called to the ministry.

Over time, the IFI program lost funding. The Men of IMPACT (Intentional Men Pursuing a Christlike Transformation) men’s ministry at The Crossing was growing, however, and in an attempt to keep the prison ministry alive, Early brought the idea to the Men of IMPACT to continue their own, similar program at Algoa.

Today, the prison ministry at Algoa is alive and well. A group of 10 men, including Early, travels to the correctional center every Thursday night to encourage and grow the faith of the inmates.

The ministry utilizes a 12-week program that begins with a video series and ends with small group discussions, ultimately culminating in a graduation celebration. Each graduating class is made up of anywhere from 45 to 100 inmates.

“I see how [the inmates] can change, and I can change, too,” prison ministry member Neil Riley says. “I never go into Algoa thinking I’m at a higher level than they are. I talk about my own stories and I go as an equal. I want to be a positive mentor for them. God is putting me here for a reason, and we all grow.”

For more information on The Crossing Church’s ministries and how you can get involved, go to thecrossingchurch.com or call 573-256-4410.

[ St. Raymond Society ]

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ifteen years ago, on his way back from the annual March for Life event in Washington, D.C., Mike Hentges started thinking. There was a lack of resources in mid-Missouri, he thought, for women who wanted to keep their babies after an unplanned pregnancy.

“In our pro-life stance, we seem to be very quick to tell the woman that we’d like for them to have that baby, but slow to help after the baby has been born, when the real going gets tough,” Hentges says.

“I think it’s important to stand behind these women, and follow through on our pro-life commitment.”

In the hope of providing help for these women, Hentges partnered with friend Steve Smith and founded St. Raymond’s Society in 2010. Today, St. Raymond’s Society has two transitional homes, one in Columbia and one in Jefferson City, that provide a comprehensive program for the women who live in them. The

society also works with women outside of the homes. It provides these women with the support and resources — such as help getting a GED or driver’s license, job training and help achieving spiritual growth — necessary to live independently and support their children.

Most of the volunteers at St. Raymond’s Society are women who are mothers themselves. Volunteers can be paired with a woman at the society and act as a mentor to her throughout the program.

“I think that for me, personally, and for a lot of the women who volunteer for us, it’s an opportunity to give back to God with gratitude for the opportunity to parent that we have been given,” says Mary Chen, the society’s program director.

“Many of the people who come to us are very grateful for the opportunity they have to be mothers and they want to help other women who maybe don’t have the same circumstances and advantages they have.”

Mike Hentges with his family

For more information on St. Raymond’s Society and how you can get involved, go to srshelp.org or call 573-893-2067. www.CoMoChristian.com

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[ Turning Point

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nce upon a time, a Columbia Interfaith Resource Center (CIRC) for the homeless, the Day Center, became too small for the need in Columbia. The Wilkes Boulevard United Methodist Church offered up its third floor as an alternative space, remodeling and putting in showers. When CIRC lost funding for the operation about a year ago, the shelter became solely church-operated and Turning Point was born.

Turning Point offers a permanent mailing address, showers, storage space, laundry, local phone calls and a variety of other services to the homeless of Columbia. Entirely volunteer-operated, Turning Point also offers a chance for Columbia residents to learn and grow by way of donating their time.

“Those who have money rarely interact with those who don’t have money and vice versa,” says Meg Hegemann, the pastor at Wilkes Boulevard United Methodist Church.

“At Turning Point, we really want to be about community-building. It’s an opportunity to cross those barriers and really learn from one another.

Our non-client volunteers will be very quick to say they learn as much as they teach.”

Hegemann also says volunteers at Turning Point allow Matthew 25 to guide them in their service. “We look to, in particular, the section that speaks of ‘As you did to the least of these, you did unto me,’” she says. “[In volunteering,] we’re coming to know Christ, because Christ identified himself with those who are impoverished.”

For more information on Turning Point and how you can get involved, go to wilkesblvdumc.org/#/whatwe-do or call 573-214-4077.

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Primrose Hill Teen Challenge Home David and Sherry Hockman spent two years trying to convert a house in Clark, Mo., into a home for victims of human trafficking before Primrose Hill Teen Challenge Home, a faithbased organization seeking to help drug- and alcohol-addicted mothers and their children, came onto their radar. A little disheartened that their initial plans for the house hadn’t panned out, the couple put the property on the market in 2014. The people of Primrose Hill were the first to look at it.

“I think we had a vision,” Sherry says. “I think we got ahead of God and things took a different turn than we expected and we thought we failed…. And it turned around and here’s Primrose, and it was like, ‘Ah! He had a plan.’”

Today, Primrose Hill is fully settled in to the Hockmans’ house, using the facility as a residential treatment center for women who have fallen prey to drug and alcohol addiction.

Unlike most rehabilitation centers, however, Primrose Hill allows these women to bring their children with them, removing the obstacle of finding suitable childcare before seeking treatment. While there, the women participate in a 12- to 14-month program of self, group and Biblical studies aimed at helping them to find their purpose and get back on their feet. The women also attend sessions with life coaches and counselors and learn about reconciling relationships when they leave the facility.

“I believe this whole process [with the Hockmans] was divine appointment,” says Rick Rowden, project development manager at Primrose Hill. “Sometimes things in life don’t turn out exactly like we think they should or we envision that they do, but in the end, we find that God had a greater plan.”

For more information on Primrose Hill and how you can get involved, go to tcimo.org or call 573-641-5047.

Spencer Family FROGs

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t was 2009 when Jessica Spencer’s son Paxton was born with a heart condition called hypoplastic left heart syndrome that essentially left him with only half of his heart. Within the first two and a half years of his life, Paxton underwent an overwhelming 14 heart interventions. In July 2012, Paxton’s final surgery took place at Boston Children’s Hospital, the best center for pediatric heart care in the country. It was in August of that year that Spencer says God put it in her heart to start the Fully Rely on God (FROG) ministry.

Spencer Family FROGs sends stuffed frogs to children with lifethreatening conditions all over the world. Most of Spencer’s leads come from Facebook, and any child who is nominated, regardless of where they live, is eligible for a free frog. Spencer Family FROGs has even sent frogs as far as Australia.

Originally, Spencer says she would search through shops around town for stuffed frogs. The ministry has grown, however, and today, many of the frogs that Spencer sends are donations.

In April, the Spencers returned to Boston for testing. Doctors say you cannot tell that Paxton had such a hard start to life. “He’s doing really good,” Spencer says. “[Our ministry] gives us a chance to share this wonderful testimony… When I found out about his heart, I promised God that I would make the most of the situation, and that includes sharing Paxton’s story.” n For more information on Spencer Family FROGs and how you can get involved, go to facebook.com/ SpencerFamilyFrogs or email Jessica Spencer at spencjess@yahoo.com.

www.CoMoChristian.com

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10 Things I Think I Think About Marriage

Much of the “counsel” about marriage, whether it be found in books, seminars, or the advice of a friend, seems to deal with “how to’s: How to argue, How to divide up roles and responsibilities, How to budget, How to show love, etc…. All the emphasis on skills leads us to think that we are good people who just need a few pointers, but it misses the important point that in reality we are selfish sinners. The main problem in any marriage is the sin of each spouse. While learning certain skills can surely be helpful, those skills don’t address the core problem.

By keith simon Christine and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this year and it’s motivated me to think about what I’ve learned (and am still learning) about my wife, marriage, God’s grace and myself. Peter King’s “Monday Morning Quarterback” column in Sports Illustrated includes a section called “Things I Think I Think.” Here’s my stab at applying it to marriage.

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I think I think that we might be better off focusing less on our marriage and more on becoming the right kind of Christian.

I think I think that we pay much more attention to the state of our marriages than the Bible does.

When Christine and I had been married a very short time, a friend who was recently engaged asked what advice we’d offer. I remember saying that I’d found that my main job was to focus on growing in my relationship with God. If I was living out the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23 (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control), my marriage, like all my relationships, would go well. And of course if I lived out of my sinful nature, none of my relationships, including my marriage, would go well. There’s not much I believed when I was 22 that I still believe today but that’s one piece of advice that I’d stand by.

Listen to people talk, walk through Barnes and Noble, find out why most people seek counseling, observe the best-selling Christian books and most attended Christian conferences and what you find that they have in common is the topic of marriage. We are consumed by the pursuit of having the ideal marriage.

What seems a little odd to me is that marriage isn’t discussed that much in the Bible. Make a list of the passages that deal explicitly with marriage and I think that you’ll be surprised how short it is.

I think I think that the reason that the Bible doesn’t speak about marriage as often as we’d expect it to, given our interest in the topic, is because we’ve put the cart before the horse.

Let me explain. When the Bible does speak about marriage, it’s usually near the end of a letter (see Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3). In both instances the apostle Paul spends the first half of the letter laying out key doctrines and then in the second half of the book he applies that doctrine to various life issues. I understand that to mean that knowing and believing solid doctrine and theology is foundational to a good marriage. Believing good theology is the horse that pulls the cart of marriage.

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I think I think that we’ve substituted technique and skills for Christian maturity.

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I think I think that we expect marriage to be something that God never intended it to be.

Many of us think marriage is supposed to fulfill us but I’m not sure that’s a biblical perspective. I do think that a good marriage can be a great source of joy, encouragement, and companionship but maybe that’s not God’s ultimate intention for marriage. Marriage doesn’t appear that often in the gospels but one place it does show up is Mark 10 where Jesus addresses the issue of divorce.

What’s interesting to me is that Mark places this passage in a section of his gospel that deals with discipleship. It almost seems out of place until you realize that he’s put it there because marriage is for many people a key part of the discipleship process. Marriage is meant to refine you and change you so that you become more like Jesus. Sometimes that’s a painful process as you see your sin, confess it to God, and ask him to make you into the person that he wants you to be.

I think I think that when I get frustrated or angry with my wife, it says more about me than it does her.

I’m learning that in those situations my first response needs to be selfexamination. Usually I find that I’m the one with unrealistic expectations or a selfish agenda. But even if I think that she’s wrong on some issue or that she’s at fault in some way, maybe that’s a time for me to be patient with her and love her instead of attacking and accusing her.

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I think I think that the most helpful passage on marriage is found in Luke 7:36-50.

While you should read the entire passage, the key verse says “Therefore I tell you, her sins which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke 7:47). Jesus’ point is not that some are forgiven much and some are forgiven little. His point is that some sense and feel how much they have been forgiven and some don’t. When you realize how much God has forgiven you, you become a person who loves much, serves much, and forgives much (to just name a few of the changes believing the gospel makes in our life).

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I think I think that we might be better off treating our spouse as our neighbor or even our enemy.

It’s ironic that Jesus said to love both our neighbor and our enemy but many Christians can’t love the person they are married to.

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I think I think that in Jesus’ famous saying, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” we’ve focused all our attention on the wrong half.

The reason that we are not to separate is because God has joined us. Think about that. God brought you and your spouse together. That’s pretty amazing.

It means that behind your story of how you met, fell in love, and decided to marry, the God of the universe was at work. Your story was (and still is) part of his greater story. Meditating on this truth should give us confidence that God is at work in each of our marriages. It should give us great comfort to know that the God who loves us is using our marriage to make us into the person he wants us to be.

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I think I think that a person who forgets they are a great sinner is the hardest person to be married to.

As soon as you think that you’re a great husband, you start finding fault in your wife. But if you can remember that you are hard to live with, that you have great sin in your life, that you do and say a lot of dumb and insensitive things, then you will find it much easier to extend grace to your husband/ wife when you see his/her faults.

When we got married 25 years ago, I’m pretty sure that neither my wife nor I knew the joys or the challenges that lay ahead of us. My marriage has brought me a deeper happiness than I hoped but it’s a different kind of happiness than I expected. It’s the kind of happiness that comes from learning to put Jesus, not myself, at the center of my life. That’s never easy for me to learn but it’s always been worth it and makes me look forward to the next 25 years. n

Keith Simon is one of the founder pastors at The Crossing in Columbia. As a pastor he participates on a wide range of ministries, but enjoys preaching on Sundays the most. He graduated from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School with a Masters in Divinity.

He and his wife, Christine, have three sons and a daughter.

www.CoMoChristian.com

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y r e v o c e R s ’ r e t r o p e a R A journalist’s story of addiction, ‘losing it all’ and, finally, finding his way

By Scott Moyers

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hen I saw the sign, the one that changed everything,

the one that may or may not have been divine intervention, I had been roaming the streets of Cape Girardeau for days. By that point, everything that I held dear in my life was gone — family, friends, career — as thoughtlessly tossed aside as a crumpled beer can along a winding country road.

Those who had known me before, in what I still sometimes think of as my other life, may have had trouble recognizing me. I barely recognized myself. My clothes were dirty. I reeked. I hadn’t showered or shaved in days. Someone else stared back at me in the mirror.

My situation was dire. I was homeless. I had spent two uncomfortable nights hidden away in our central-city park in a train that had been reconfigured for children to play in. I couldn’t remember the last meal I’d eaten. I had no car, no money, and not a single friend or family member who I hadn’t alienated.

Long gone was the person whose life I had occupied just two years before. That person had been a father, a husband, an award-winning newspaper reporter. He drove a new Chevy Silverado, lived in a quarter-million-dollar house in one of the city’s nicer middle-class neighborhoods and wore business casual to his downtown desk job. He had a wonderful wife, one who had never shown him anything but love and patience, and three precocious, amazing children. All had been God’s perfect gifts to him. They were gone.

He’d thrown them away, too.

Also gone was the money, all $250,000 of it, an amount I had received from my wife, a doctor, in a divorce settlement less than a year before. Every penny had been spent, stolen, or given away in what had become my sole vocation since the day I was fired from the Southeast Missourian on March 15, 2013 — a desperate, daily addiction to methamphetamine.

This was the condition of my life when I came across that perhaps divinely inspired sign. I had been stumbling the streets in a drug-addled stupor. I had injected — yes, I was an IV drug user — more dope in the previous few days than I normally did in a month. I was off-the-charts high and likely close to some form of druginduced mania.

I had walked back to Cape Girardeau from nearby Scott City. I

had been dropped off there in a dazed, half-crazed search for my then girlfriend. I found her, then refused to talk to her and instead hid in some nearby woods for quite some time.

Then, I walked the 10 long miles back.

Things weren’t better back in Cape.

I was punched in the face by a man for randomly entering his home uninvited.

A fellow drug-using “friend” had swung a bat at me in an attempt to keep me away from her. I was even too crazy for other dope heads.

The drugs, obviously, were taking their toll. I was beyond paranoid.

The hallucinations, a staple in the life of any committed meth junkie, had grown worse. I briefly watched a midnight carnival. I saw my younger brother, Patrick, in a white top-hat and matching tuxedo get out of a stretch limousine followed by a parade of cheerleaders and baton twirlers. I saw my children at every turn. I kept thinking that my ex-wife, whom I had

given no reason to do so, would show up to “save me.”I was wrong.

And I was alone, in a prison of my own making. I was facing prison of a less philosophical sort in the really real world, the kind with concrete and bars, and a possible 14-year sentence for two charges of felony drug possession. I had initially been placed on probation but that was in jeopardy because I had refused to check in with my probation officer.

Few people, I would learn later, expected me ever to make it back. I didn’t either. The way I saw it, I would end up dead or in prison. But either of those options seemed better than this.

And then, the sign.

In most regards, what I saw that night was an ordinary traffic sign, standing along a side-street not too far from my old newspaper office. As I got closer, I saw that it was anything but ordinary. It was emanating a supernatural glow and … ahem, I know how this sounds … a halo was floating above it, flickering in and out of existence.

I stared at it a long time, knowing even then that what I was seeing was almost certainly a vision brought on by drugs and severe sleep deprivation.

I didn’t care. I was so sick of this life, so tired of what I had become, what I had thrown away. The full weight of the sign’s message sunk in, took meaning and caused me to crumple to the sidewalk and sob.

Surely this was a message from God, I remember thinking. Either way, it was time to do something, anything that could reverse the course of my miserable existence.

The sign contained only one word.

But it was a powerful one.

Stop.

The newspaper article appeared on the front page of the St. Louis PostDispatch on Feb. 3, 2014. The blocked, black letters of the headline provided a tidy summation of my life: “He lost it all to meth. The marriage. The money.

The job covering crime.” www.CoMoChristian.com

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My police mug shot sat squarely in the center of the accompanying article by reporter Todd Frankel. The story, which ran about three months before the night I wept at the foot of a stop sign, detailed my downfall.

My own medium used against me, I thought. Serves me right.

It told the story of how I had been a reporter who had become addicted to drugs. I was a cautionary tale. Anyone could succumb to the disease of addiction, even someone like me — white, somewhat affluent with a respectable family and career.

As I knew all too well, newspaper stories are in no position to tell the complete story. They only can offer glimpses and snapshots. My story only hinted at how long and arduous my journey had been. I had been the child of two alcoholics. My brothers were both addicts. I had been a heavy drinker, but was 27 years old before I ever tried hard drugs. I should have learned a

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lesson from watching my brothers go in and out of prison because of their drug use. I’d written countless stories about addiction.

I was about to take an even closer look.

My first snort of cocaine came when I worked in Columbia, Mo., in the late 1990s. My then wife and I had moved there while she finished up her medical training to become a physician. I had worked at the Columbia Daily Tribune and, later, for the Columbia Business

Times and radio station KFRU. I used coke with a Columbia businessman I had met.

Needless to say, I loved it. I began using it, infrequently at first. I kept it a secret from everyone. But when my wife finished her residency at Capital Region Medical Center in Jefferson City, we returned to Cape Girardeau.

I brought my newfound addiction home with me.

I returned to the Southeast Missourian in 2001, shortly before the Twin Towers fell. Powder cocaine, to that point always snorted in lines, turned into crack cocaine smoked in pipes. I always took steps down I swore I never would take.

I’ll never smoke crack.

I’ll never shoot up.

I’ll never do meth.

But I did all of those things. At intervals, I would find brief moments of sobriety. I’d go into a treatment center, get out and then relapse. I got fired by the Missourian once before, got sober and they were gracious enough to give

me my job back. But it was always precarious. I’d go back to the bottle, then back to the needle. As they say, it was a viscous cycle.

When I tried methamphetamine, it took only once and I was addicted.

A month after I decided to divorce my wife — yes, it was my stupid decision — I was fired by the Missourian. Again.

“It’s over,” was what my boss kept telling me. “It’s over.”

He had no idea how right he was.

My work had suffered. How could it not? I had tried to hold it together.

But I lived two lives. I would try to write and report during the day and then at night I would hang out with criminals like the ones I had written about for the newspaper. The lines blurred.

When I was fired, I moved into a nice $120,000 house with some of the divorce money. Less than three weeks later, the door was kicked in by the SEMO Drug Task Force. Too many dope fiends were stopping by and too much dope was going out with them. I caught my criminal case and was awaiting a court date when they arrested me again during a traffic stop. I had more than two grams in my pocket.

Before long, I sold the house for a third of what I paid for it. That money began to dwindle. I gave people large amounts of money to go buy drugs. Some of them never came back.

I traded my vehicle in on a cheaper one, so I could get some cash to pay for more drugs. I moved into an apartment, where I frustrated the landlord with the constant drug traffic.

When that money was gone, I moved into a cheaper apartment that my exwife footed the bill for, despite the fact that I had been a deplorable husband and a less-than-doting father.

Eventually, finally, it was all gone. I was on the streets. At about the same time, I was given probation for both of my charges. The Post-Dispatch did a follow up. I told the reporter I was clean. Of course I was lying. www.CoMoChristian.com

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I missed an appointment with my probation officer knowing I could not pass the mandatory drug test.

I went on a bender to end all benders. I tried to get as high as possible. I stole my oldest son’s laptop. I sold my youngest son’s cell phone. I stole a flat-screen television from a motel. I was not allowed back to see my children. Of course I wasn’t. I’m sure it was heartbreaking and infuriating for them.

I began to roam the streets. I slept in that train. I walked from Scott City.

And then the sign that changed everything. I didn’t know if it was a sign from God or my drugsoaked subconscious. But it stirred something deep inside.

Wherever it had come from, I knew the sign was right: I had to stop.

For the first time in years, I prayed, using the only words I could muster.

“God, please help me.”

Prayers aren’t always answered in the way we would like. This one was answered just a few hours later when I got arrested. Again. This time for the stolen television. I did two weeks in county jail and was released right into the hands of Missouri’s drug court program, an intensive treatment program that was a condition of my barely-clungto probation. I went back into the Gibson Recovery Center for 21 restless days. When I was released, shaky and a new kind of scared, I was required to continue going to the treatment center for daily classes for another month. I was drug tested several times a week. I stood in front of the drug court judge periodically and reviewed my progress. I made more mistakes, but I didn’t use drugs. I entered a 12-step program, got a sponsor and began doing the serious business of recovery.

It hasn’t been easy. I got a job driving a taxi. It has been a humbling transition, going from a respected reporter to a cabbie, one of the world’s most invisible occupations.

I got a small apartment on the

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city’s south side, where much of the drug trade takes place. Shootings have become an almost daily occurrence.

But something has taken hold. I haven’t taken any drugs or drank any alcohol in 15 months, not since I saw that stop sign. I am beginning to rebuild relationships. My daughter, now 14, came and spent a few hours with me yesterday. I took my 11-year-old son to the movies last week and my 23-yearold son this week.

Unlike the countless number of days that I wasted desperately searching for and using drugs, I have hopes today.

Initially, I wanted to get high every day. But that has diminished over time and I rarely think about it any more. I

have progressed to the second half of drug court and hope to graduate within the next six months or so. But that is out of my hands.

My life is better. It’s not perfect, but unlike the countless number of days that I wasted desperately searching for and using drugs, I have hopes today. I hope to get back into journalism. I hope to continue rebuilding my relationships with my family and friends who have come to be cautiously optimistic about my sobriety.

But I take nothing for granted. I continue to do the work of recovery. I have a long way to go. I continue to thank God for answering that foxhole prayer that I said after seeing the sign that I believe, way down deep, came from him.

I know that with God’s help, I can remember what that sign suggested and stay stopped.

The rest of my story, what I hope is the best part, has yet to be written. n

www.CoMoChristian.com

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Calling for

Refuge How Jen Wheeler is transforming the lives of refugees from around the world by laura gerding / photos by Angelique Hunter

J

en Wheeler likes to think of herself as the Reese Witherspoon character in the movie, “The Good Lie.” It has nothing to do with looks. Wheeler says the actress’s character, Carrie Davis, comes off as not so cool in the recent flick.

“I love that about her, because I’m not that cool, either,” Wheeler says with a laugh. “Really, I’m not the cool one here. I did not survive an attack on my village. I am just an ordinary person that felt called to start a cleaning company.”

Jen says she came into her role serving Columbia’s refugee community over time.

“Honestly, I felt like Jesus was backing me into a corner,” Wheeler says of starting her cleaning company, Safi Sana.

Refugees have to move quickly to find resources, as they only have three months worth of assistance from the federal government before they are expected to pay their rent and other expenses. For two years, Wheeler and her husband, area pediatrician Dr. Adam Wheeler, had already been serving the refugee community through their church. But in her service, she realized there was a need: jobs that refugees could fill.

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“It’s really hard to find jobs for someone who doesn’t speak English,” Wheeler says. “An employer wants to be able to communicate.”

As a mother of three at the time, Wheeler stopped working outside the home in 2009. She dreamed of doing something greater for the refugees she had gotten to know during trips to the driver’s license office and outings to Chuck E. Cheese.

Her defining moment came in January 2010.

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“I had a dad of eight at my house who desperately needed a job, and my friend Caritas, one of the refugees I knew from Rwanda, said: ‘If I could, I would start a cleaning company.’”

Wheeler says she knew that Caritas didn’t have the resources at the time to do it.

Wheeler had a background in marketing and advertising, but nothing prepared her for this.

“I’m an unlikely person to start a business,” Wheeler says. “I don’t have a master’s degree in business. There’s no one in my family that is in business.

I’m the girl that had to Google how to start a business.”

Five years later, the company now averages 15 part-time employees and has three part-time managers. Its clients include apartment complexes, businesses and family homes. Wheeler sees Safi Sana as a waystation of sorts.

It’s a place where refugees can go to work and hone their English skills be-

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fore they find their way to better jobs.

To date, Safi Sana has employed more than 40 refugees and most of them have graduated into other full-time positions throughout Columbia.

She delights in watching people from City of Refugee “graduate” to find other jobs, continue their education and own homes.

Providing Refuge In addition to providing as many refugees and immigrants as possible with jobs, the ultimate goal of Safi Sana is to create a financial resource for the nonprofit Wheeler founded in 2010: City of Refuge. She closed the original for-profit business of Safi Sana in November 2010 to reopen the business under the nonprofit.

By City of Refuge estimates, there are more than 8,000 refugees and immigrants living in mid-Missouri. Each year, an average of 150 refugees arrive in Columbia.

“City of Refuge is there to help them navigate this new world,” says Lauren Eisleben, City of Refuge board member and former Safi Sana manager. “We serve as an advocate for a refugee as he or she transitions into American life.”

Transition can include needs such as clothing and household goods, a cell phone, dental and doctor visits, and applying for college.

“We are helping them avoid homelessness and to become self-sufficient and not have to rely on government services,” Wheeler says.

And the need can continue for many years.

“The need doesn’t end when the foreseeable physical need ends,” Eisleben says.

“In their first two-to-three years in the United States, they are solely focused on how to survive in a new place.

After that, they start to deal with their emotional wounds. Many have family

members who are still left in the refugee camps and most have lost family members on their way here.”

Wheeler says she is fortunate that City of Refuge also has financial support from area churches.

More Than A Job “For anyone who comes into this organization, it has to be more than just a job to them,” Eisleben says.

“The need is greater. If your heart is not in it for a greater concern, it’s not the place for you.”

Eisleben, who often helps Safi Sana in the summer months when apartments turn over, says employees of Safi Sana can face unique obstacles.

For example, imagine getting lost in a country where you do not speak the language and cannot read a map or understand GPS. Imagine being a college graduate or other type of working professional in another country only to have those credentials become invalid in the United States. Cleaning is now your job.

That and countless other examples are what make the job hard and sometimes the customer service hard to manage. But for Wheeler, God provides the motivation she needs.

“She is being the physical hands and feet of Jesus on this earth,” Eisleben says. “She’s the practical outworking of the love of God to these people.”

Wheeler says she’s always had the sense that Safi Sana and City of Refuge were not about her. She finds a connection with a particular verse from 2 Corinthians: ‘But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.’

“I’ve always felt I was part of a greater story and that story belonged to God and his love for these refugees,” Wheeler says. “I’m just a character in that story.” n Learn more about City of Refuge by visiting www.newcitycomo.com/ cityofrefuge. www.CoMoChristian.com

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The Journey By tonya christensen

S

o here’s the question: Are you on the journey to know Him? You see lots of people have read about Him. Lots of people believe in Him, yet I wonder how many of us really know Jesus.

Do we as Christians really live with Christ?

Wouldn’t it be awesome to live in Christ on Earth?

Wouldn’t it change your heart and mind to be in Christ? And wasn’t that truly what God had in mind when He sent His only son Jesus to live among us?

Wasn’t that what God had in mind when He gave us the Holy Spirit the minute we accepted Jesus as our lord and savior? God wants us to live as one with Him. He loves us and His desire is for us to know Him. So why are so many so far from Jesus? Why do we just believe and call it good? What gets in the way of you personally knowing the king of the universe?

I wonder if we really believe that this is possible. I wonder if we just see ourselves as sinners who cannot really have a relationship with Jesus. We spend most of our time focused on what we aren’t instead of what God is.

We don’t really believe that what He said is true. We are made perfect in His image. So how would one go about believing Jesus for all He is? How would we connect in a way that transforms us into Christ likeness? What would it take to have the mind of Christ? To get on the path of knowing Jesus … we need to start where we are. Just as Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find” Matthew 7:7.

This relationship takes time — quiet time for praying all the thoughts of your heart. Our minds are busy with the worries of the world so refresh your soul with the stillness of Jesus.

Next, spend time getting to know Him by reading His Word. We are not reading to understand the doctrine of the Bible. We are reading to know and hear from Jesus. The Bible was written for you so find your life in the Word of God. Ask Jesus to share with you the very word or words that He wants you to remember. Seek and find the heart of Jesus. Then be ready for the adventure of your life. God is amazing and He will transform your thoughts into His. Lastly, you can journal. This is completely optional; only journal if you feel led to do so. Don’t strive; just sit knowing that Jesus is with you. He lives in every believer and He wants us to know and love Him more than anything else.

So what would be different if we were on a journey with Jesus? God’s desire is to be revealed to the world. Would this be His way of doing it? Wouldn’t He then take care of all the details in saving people? Wouldn’t He love His people through you? Do you believe that God is that real and that more than anything He wants a relationship with you? God has a plan for each one of us and I pray that you will get on the journey of knowing your Jesus. Amen. n

To get on the path of knowing Jesus ... we need to start where we are.

Tonya Christensen is a registered nurse at Boone Hospital Center and a leader for women’s ministry at Woodcrest Chapel.

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A Note to Parents of Teenagers…

By luke neal

O

ne result of having close friendships with teenagers is that they often share things with me and my volunteers that they would choose not to share with their parents. From these conversations, I’ve learned some things that might come as a surprise about how teenagers view their parents.

First of all, they want boundaries.

Limitations make them feel safe and free to roam within those boundaries. They don’t need a “cool parent” who acts as a friend. They have plenty of friends. They need a parent.

Secondly, they want to have a relationship with you. They might push you away at times, but deep down they want you to be a part of their lives. They need you to be a part of their lives. By the time your children are high school-aged, some of you maybe have significantly fractured relationships with them, but there is great hope. We have a God who loves to mend broken things. Repairing your damaged relationship will require much humility and patience, but this is good news. The Lord wants to use your teenager to change your heart, too!

God reminds us in Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” When your teenager is in love with Jesus, their behavior will eventually be transformed, so focus your attention where it matters.

Place primary importance on their hearts and less importance on their actions. Please do not to confuse a polished exterior with spiritual health.

We sometimes make snap judgments about our children’s spirituality based on external appearances — for instance, church attendance, clothing, taste in music, friends, etc. The truth is that we cannot see their hearts, yet their hearts are the only true measure of their love for Jesus.

The closest that we may come is to really listen to their hearts by keeping the lines of communication open at all costs.

Speak much less. Listen much more.

Show patience when they do not want to talk. It is important to communicate with your words and actions that you value brutal honesty from them. If you do this, be ready to hear some hard things. When these difficult conversations do surface, try your best to remain calm so that you will continue to be included in the next important conversation.

As parents, we need to remind ourselves that God is in control of all things. This includes our children and the decisions that they make. Many parents give themselves too much credit when things go well and too much blame when they do not. Remind yourself every day that you are not God. You are not Jesus. You are not the Holy Spirit.

You are a parent and you have a vital role to play, but your role is small when compared to God’s mighty hand in their lives. This fact should drive us to our knees in prayer, which after all, is the most important thing that we can do for our children. n

“When your teenager is in love with Jesus, their behavior will eventually be transformed, so focus your attention where it matters.”

Luke Neal is the area director for Young Life Columbia. www.CoMoChristian.com

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4

Men’s Conference Attracts 1,200 Christian Men A Recap of the 2015 CoMo Christian Men’s Conference

T

he 2nd Annual CoMo Christian Men’s Conference was held on Saturday, Feb. 7, 2015, at the historic Missouri Theatre in downtown Columbia. Keynote speakers included Mike Matheny, manager of the St. Louis Cardinals, Todd Wagner from Watermark Church in Dallas, Greg Holder of the Crossing Church in St. Louis and Rod Handley from Character Counts. More than 1,200 men filled the theatre for a day filled with uplifting messages, inspirational music and praise.

1

(1) St. Louis Cardinals Manager Mike Matheny delivers his keynote address. (2) Singers from Faith Family Church in Fayette lead worship. (3) Conference attendees enjoy lunch on the lawn of Columbia’s Episcopal Church on an unseasonably warm day. (4) More than 1,200 men filled the historic Missouri Theatre for the 2nd annual men’s conference. (5) Lorenzo Scott sang and shared testimony at the conference. (6) Attendees visited with conference sponsors during intermissions.

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Still in the Fight: Jim Coy accepts the greatest mission By mac emery

R

etired Colonel Jim Coy’s accolades can easily overwhelm a page. Coy has battled cancer multiple times. He has battled enemies as a medic for the Special Forces over his 25 years in the armed forces. He has graduated from rigorous and elite combat and parachute training schools. He has garnered enough medals and commendations to encumber a uniform. He has earned a medical degree and gone on to a long and prosperous career treating veterans and civilians in University Hospital and Harry S. Truman Memorial Veterans’ Hospital. He has worked as a University of Missouri professor, and published papers on his innovations in lightweight X-ray technology. He has served for two years as the national president of the Special Forces Medical Association, and as the national surgeon of the Reserve Officers Association. He has published many books compiling the experiences of the nation’s warriors and spreading his profound Christian faith.

But for Coy, the promises of celebrity and renown are empty.

“The degrees you earn, the income you have, the position you hold, the car you drive, the three-car garage and John Deere tractor in the third stall — that is success, that’s secular,” Coy says. “But significance is spiritual. It’s eternal. To those who have faith, the way you impact people eternally will have an eternal consequence.”

Instead of basking in his success, Coy has devoted his life to healing others through his medical expertise and spreading the faith that guided

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Columbia Christian Magazine

him through the hardships of his own life. Coy recounts how he plunged into battle with excerpts from Joshua and Psalms penned onto his helmet straps.

“Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day.” His helmet carried the words of Psalm 91:5 as his unit spearheaded the invasion of Kuwait during the Persian Gulf War with the 3rd Group Army Special Forces.

But despite his adamancy now, Coy’s religion was not an inborn one.

Instead, his faith and ensuing hope developed from facing the hard reality of his bouts with cancer.

“The answer was no longer these questions I had previously asked: ‘Why me?’ ” Coy says about the epiphany following his diagnosis. “But it was ‘Why not me?’ ” Between 1979 and 2009, Coy overcame three malignancies through multiple radiation and chemotherapy sessions, and endured four surgeries, one of which was deforming. He is now considered cured.

“Over the course of those years, my faith progressed,” Coy says.

But none of these tribulations deterred him on his tireless mission to heal others as a medic and a doctor,

and to promulgate the inspiration of his own faith as a speaker and author.

He once declined a tempting job offer out of state to remain here in Columbia — in the land of his fathers, as he says, drawing on a verse from the Bible.

“Healing people physically and healing people emotionally and healing people spiritually are all run like a three-cord strand together,” Coy says. “And they are potentially similar.

For me, I was blessed, I was blessed to be involved in all three.”

In addition to his hefty military and medical résumé, Coy has published nearly a dozen books. Several of these — the Gathering of Eagles series — compile interviews with hundreds of veterans, religious leaders and politicians to share the hard-earned stories, wisdom and aphorisms of the country’s finest.

Coy’s other publications include a series of children’s books co-authored by his wife, Vicki, and daughter, Patricia.

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“Significance is spiritual.

It’s eternal. To those who have faith, the way you impact people eternally will have an eternal consequence.”

His Gospel of Matthew A-Z attaches biblical teaching to memorable, retainable alliteration. These books aim to pass on faith to the next generation. All of Coy’s books can be found on www.agatheringofeagles. com. The proceeds go to need-based scholarships for youth attending Christian and parochial schools.

Coy also ships hundreds of crates of his books to servicemen and servicewomen stationed overseas.

And other veterans without a religious

background have gained faith and inspiration by reading Coy’s compound of inspiring experiences and wisdom.

With these experiences and adages wrapped humbly on his belt, Coy tours and delivers speeches on his experiences and his faith to schools, ministry groups and patriotic events across the country and around the globe, hoping to pass on the gritty inspiration he has spent a lifetime collecting.

Yet for Coy, who has served, treated and mended so many, the greatest mission of all is hope and faith.

“If there really is a God,” Coy says, paraphrasing a World War II veteran, “and there really is a heaven, and we miss it, then we’ve missed everything.

You have to have hope.” n

This story originally appeared in the November 2015 edition of Inside Columbia magazine.

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