Iceni Magazine Norfolk Issue 130

I C E N I N O R F O L K

ISSUE 130

Focus On: Relationships

Motoring Review Subaru Solterra

Date Nights To...

Keep The Spark Alive

Best Of Norfolk

Through The Lens Of Our Readers

Maintaining An Active Sex Life...

Despite Running A Busy Household

Welcome To Iceni Magazine, “We cannot really love anyone with whom we never laugh.” Agnes Repplier Welcome to Issue 130 of Iceni Magazine!

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This month, Relationships.

our

focus

is

on

Mr Iceni and I were married in December 2022 - four and a half years into our relationship. Together, we welcomed our beautiful baby boy in March 2023. We are blessed to have each other, but we know that the path to true love isn’t always smooth we have overcome many many hurdles! Pages 28 and 29 may help if you feel something needs to change - some date night suggestions.

Ali Marlow offers some words of wisdom from her Slimming World members on how vital support is for weight loss (Pages 30 & 31). If you are struggling to find time to keep your sex life going, then Pages 26 and 27 are definitely for you.

Elsewhere, Nova Silver share their Valentine’s offerings with us (Page 17) - we are certain there is something for everyone! Don’t forget to check out the Norfolk National Garden Scheme’s Snowdrop Festival - it's such a wonderful time of year and the beautiful white buds are a sign of new life and excitement in the year to come.

So, until Issue 131, we wish you all a wonderful February (with its extra day)!

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CONTRIBUTORS Ali, Charlie, Dr Sarah Sykes, Nova Silver,Susan Leigh, Tim Barnes-Clay, Trevor Langley, Vicki Jeffery.

Front Cover Image Photo by Katerina Holmes

Disclaimer

Copyright © Iceni Magazine Limited.

All rights reserved. No articles, adverts, content or design in this magazine may be used or reproduced either in whole or part, online or in print. The views and advice from contributors are not necessarily those of Iceni Magazine Limited. Every effort is made to ensure the contents are accurate, however Iceni Magazine Limited can not assume responsibility for errors, omissions or incorrect information. Iceni Magazine Limited accepts no liability for loss, damage or difficulties resulting from contracts between The Client and their customer. Inclusion within the magazine does not imply a recommendation.

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Contents 44

pages

Full of absolute dynamic

creative content!

“You Reap What You Sow”

14

26

MAINTAINING AN ACTIVE SEX LIFE Despite Running A Busy Household

IMPORTANCE OF...

Removing Your Makeup Before You Go To Sleep

43

28 DATE NIGHTS TO...

10

06

Iceni News National Garden Scheme

23

Focus On: Relationships

36

What’s On Snowdrop Festival

08

Do You Pick...

Your Battles?

24

Would Now Be A Good...

Time To Start All Over Again?

38

What’s On Café Socials

10

Motoring Review Subaru Solterra

26

Maintaining An Active...

Sex Life

39

What’s On Wellbeing Socials

12

Dining At: Lagan

28

Date Nights To Keep...

The Spark Alive

40

What’s On Coastal Path Walks

14

Importance Of Removing...

Your Makeup

30

The Power Of Relationships On Our Weight Loss...

41

What’s On Coffee Catch Up

17

Nova Silver Love Is In The Air!

32

Relationships This Month We’re Focusing

42

What’s On Wellbeing Walks

19

Best Of Norfolk Readers Images

35

What’s On Our Picks

43

Iceni Anagrams...

Solve All Five To Win

Keep The Spark Alive

ICENI ANAGRAMS Can You Solve All Five?

ICENI - NEWS

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Issue 130 2024

The Garden Visiting Season Will Soon Be Upon Us And There Is An Exciting Variety Opening For The Norfolk National Garden Scheme

Horstead House

Banish the winter gloom by planning a visit to a garden opening for the National Garden Scheme.

Over 70 glorious gardens will be opening, most of which are not usually on show to the public.

They include those from the large country estates to small cottage gardens, both rural and urban, an interesting community garden, a hospice garden, evening openings, guided tours and those open by arrangement.

Spread over 8 month the garden visiting year begins in February with the ever-popular Snowdrop Festival and who doesn’t enjoy a walk through a carpet of snowdrops? Six gardens will be opening, three of which are woodland walks at Lexham Hall, Bagthorpe Hall and Horstead House. A special guided tour at Raveningham Hall with the owner Sir Nicholas Bacon, former president of the Royal Horticultural Society, and you will find over a

hundred varieties of Galanthus at Chestnut Farm, and Old Hall Farmhouse, Swanton Novers belongs to a snowdrop enthusiast and will be opening for the first time for the Scheme. Raveningham Hall and Old Hall Farmhouse both need to be pre-booked by buying tickets at www.ngs.org.uk March and April see the spring bulbs beginning to bring a little colour to Gayton Hall near King’s Lynn, followed in May by amazing azaleas and riotous rhododendrons which feature in some of our larger gardens.

June is the busiest month, with a medley of gardens filled with the joy and scents of summer; evening guided tours of peony fields at Erpingham House Farm, Aylsham an evening opening in the garden of a famous designer at Silverstone Farm, North Elmham and three new gardens opening near East Rudham, are just a few examples.

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Issue 130 2024

In July, take a guided tour of the fascinating Walled Garden at Little Plumstead, visit two new gardens opening in the rural village of Tittleshall, or admire an interesting group of small town gardens in Norwich; perhaps you might be tempted to bring the family to the collection of four gardens in the historic village of Castle Acre.

a record £155,000 (30% up on 2022’s record year) for the many health & nursing charities it supports.

During August the gardens continue to flourish with a masterclass of grasses and late planting at Severals Grange, Wood Norton, a new garden opening for the Scheme called Charnwood, Brundall, and the quirky Fiddian’s Folly, North Barningham.

About National Garden Scheme

In September there is an exclusive evening opening at Holkham Hall walled garden, plus a new garden Vicarage House, Great Hockham which will welcome visitors over two days.

October brings autumnal colours which you can enjoy at the extensive gardens at East Ruston as well as a new garden at East Carleton Manor.

Details of these gardens can be found on the website and are also featured in the popular County Booklet which will be available from the end of the month in garden centres, nurseries and horticultural outlets.

Juliet Collier who compiles the booklet says, “Visitors see the little yellow booklet as a ray of sunshine, the herald of spring, when they can peruse and plan which gardens to visit throughout the coming season”.

Along with the standard open days, many of the gardens also open by arrangement which means you can take a group whether they be friends, colleagues or clubs, and book directly with the garden owner.

The Norfolk National Garden Scheme which opens gardens across the county, last year raised

Garden visiting continues to be an enjoyable and inexpensive day out for the family, with children going free. It is advisable to check our website for any up-to-date details on ngs.org.uk.

The National Garden Scheme gives visitors unique access to over 3,500 exceptional private gardens in England, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Channel Islands, and raises impressive amounts of money for some of the UK's bestloved nursing and health charities through admissions, teas and cake.

Thanks to the generosity of garden owners, volunteers, and visitors we have donated more than £67 million to our beneficiary charities, and in 2022 made donations of £3.11 million.

Founded in 1927 to support district nurses, we are now the most significant charitable funder of nursing in the UK and our beneficiaries include Macmillan Cancer Support, Marie Curie, Hospice UK, and The Queen’s Nursing Institute.

The National Garden Scheme doesn’t just open beautiful gardens for charity – we are passionate about the physical and mental health benefits of gardens too. We fund projects which promote gardens and gardening as therapy, and in 2017, we launched our annual Gardens and Health Week to raise awareness of the topic. Our funding also supports the training of gardeners and offers respite to horticultural workers who have fallen on difficult times.

To find your perfect garden, visit ngs.org.uk, download the National Garden Scheme app or purchase the National Garden Scheme’s Garden Visitor’s Handbook, which is published annually and available via ngs.org.uk/shop and at all good book retailers.

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DO YOU PICK...

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Issue 130 2024

Do You Pick Your Battles?

When we’re feeling vulnerable, stressed or overwhelmed, so many things can be an irritant. We may find that we take everything personally.

A comment, question or even the other person’s silence can cause exasperation and result in us feeling annoyed. Those times can be especially prevalent during difficult periods of life, like when there’s a divorce, health issue or financial worries. Times when we’re feeling out of control and at a loss as to what to do next can mean that we’re extra sensitive to external triggers.

But, if we’re quick to snap at others, are sarcastic and bad-tempered, what happens then? We may find ourselves bickering and escalating a situation that may well have blown over by itself and can consequently end up not liking ourselves very much. This behaviour may even cause stress in our relationships and ignite negativity that wasn’t there before.

At these times, when there’s tension in the air, it can be good to let things slide and remember to pick our battles. If we’re feeling ratty and on edge, it can be beneficial if we have a short, sharp word with ourselves and remember that some things don’t warrant an out and out war.

There are times when it’s far better to breathe and let it go, no matter who’s to ‘blame’.

Sometimes, we may see that the other person’s on edge and clearly out of sorts. They may be going through a tough time, feeling overwhelmed, have a lot going on and every little thing annoys them, even us simply eating or breathing!

It’s helpful to reflect that there’s not always a need to comment or answer back if someone’s being rude or abrasive with us, especially if they’re not their usual selves and are clearly stressed. Okay, we may not deserve their response, it may not justify us being picked on or criticised, it may be that we just happen to

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be in the wrong place at the wrong time! But, in that moment it may not be the best time to defend ourselves or comment on another’s behaviour. Sometimes a little kindness or some gentle humour might be a far more effective remedy to defuse the situation and improve their mood.

‘Acting a bit thick’ can have a place in this scenario too, where we ‘don’t notice’ what’s being said or done. When we act thick we appear completely oblivious to any undertones in their comment, look or tone and instead behave as if everything’s fine. The other person may be surprised that we’ve not ‘bitten back’ and reacted but they’re unlikely to comment and admit that they were being sarcastic or rude. This means that any negativity often quickly blows over.

Humour can have a place in this scenario too. Laughing when we suddenly realise how ridiculous we’re being. When we hear ourselves picking a row over trivia, but check ourselves and subsequently respond with an amused reaction it can help de-escalate a fractious situation. Humour can help us question if we really need to analyse and dissect someone’s potentially nasty comment or scenario in order to find fault or score points.

Divorce can be one of those times, often bringing out the worst in us, especially if we’re the aggrieved party. But, if children are involved, it can be a kindness to pick your battles, for everyone affected. If it’s your weekend to have the children, but your ex has an event that they

Issue 130 2024

and the children would like to attend why not be flexible and let them go? You’ll earn a few brownie points and everyone has a nicer time.

And, even if your gesture doesn’t appear to be appreciated you can smile inwardly and know that you’ve been fair and done the right thing.

Equally, is there really a need to haggle over every picture, piece of china or theatre ticket?

Does it warrant such an investment of time, energy and emotion?

So many people talk about ‘the principle of the thing’ when they feel they’ve been overcharged or not treated properly and, indeed, calling someone out on their wrong doing can be important, but not everything needs investigating to the nth degree. Sometimes a raised eyebrow, sigh or wry smile conveys the message! And certainly allows for a more peaceful approach to life.

It can be better, more effective to remain deadpan, say nothing and leave the other person with their argumentative frame of mind. If they’re in the zone, firmly fixed in their desire to have a row, sometimes the best decision is to nod and agree that they’re right, shrug, smile and simply walk away. We may even wryly recognise how little this will matter in a few days or weeks. Appearing indifferent can help us avoid reacting, ‘losing it’ and giving away our power, so staying more positively in control.

Picking our battles is often a good decision.

Article By Susan Leigh Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence.

She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net Twitter: @icenimagazine

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MOTORING REVIEW

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Issue 130 2024

a r r e t l o S u r a Sub Review

The Subaru Solterra is an all-electric SUV that has generated considerable buzz within the automotive industry.

Subaru has designed the Solterra to be an eco-friendly, high-performance vehicle with advanced technology, acceptable range, and sleek design.

One of the model’s most notable features is its electric powertrain, which provides exceptional acceleration and a tranquil, smooth ride. This highly efficient electric unit allows the Solterra to achieve a real-world range of around 200 miles on a single charge. The vehicle’s regenerative braking system also contributes to its efficiency, capturing energy during braking and extending its range.

The exterior is sleek and modern, featuring a bold front grille, sharp contours, and elegant LED lighting illuminating the road ahead. Its aerodynamic design enhances the vehicle’s appearance and improves its overall efficiency.

The Solterra’s exterior design is complemented by its spacious interior, which offers ample room for passengers and cargo. The cabin is fitted with premium materials and finishes, creating a sophisticated, elegant, and comfortable ambience.

The Solterra’s advanced technology features make it an ideal vehicle for the modern driver.

The car has a large touchscreen display that provides easy access to the vehicle’s various systems and features. The Solterra is also compatible with Apple CarPlay/Android Auto,

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Issue 130 2024

enabling you to stay connected and entertained on the move. The vehicle’s audio system delivers excellent sound quality, while the panoramic sunroof floods the cabin with natural light.

Safety is a top priority for Subaru, and the Solterra is no exception. The vehicle has a suite of assistance features, including cruise control, lane departure warning, and auto emergency braking, that enhance driver safety and confidence. The SUV also features a highstrength frame and advanced airbag system that provides top-notch protection in the event of a collision.

Driving the Solterra is an good experience, with its responsive handling and precise steering making it easy to navigate through tight turns and narrow streets. The vehicle’s suspension system is also well-tuned, providing

a comfortable ride even on rough roads. The SUV’s electric powertrain delivers lightning-fast acceleration, making it a joy to drive.

Overall, the Subaru Solterra is an excellent all-electric SUV with impressive performance capabilities, cutting-edge technology features, and a sleek, stylish design. Its spacious interior, advanced safety features, and responsive handling make it ideal for families seeking a reliable, sustainable, and practical transportation option.

The Solterra is a top contender in the expanding electric vehicle market, offering eco-conscious consumers an attractive and sustainable transportation option that doesn’t compromise on performance or style.

Fast Facts - Subaru Solterra Touring as tested: • Max speed: 100 mph • 0-62 mph: 6.9 secs • Range: 257 • Engine layout: 71.4kWh electric motors • Max. power (PS): 218 • CO2: 0 g/km • Price: £52,995

battery,

dual

By Tim Barnes-Clay.

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DINING AT

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Issue 130 2024

DINING AT: Lagan Nottingham is renowned (worldwide) for its history and attributes, i n c l u d i n g architecture, culture, customs and world-class entertainment.

Sports and other aspects are also major attractions for numerous people. Countless visitors, including many from overseas origins, come to Nottingham to enjoy the splendour of the city, all year through.

Shopping, in Nottingham, is also extremely popular. Residents and locals are very much included in the satisfaction of ‘retail therapy’, with high-street names, independent

stores and businesses that include designer outlets too.

Nottingham’s eateries and restaurants offer endless choices, from a snack or full meal, to fine dining and banquet opportunities.

I located Lagan restaurant (opened November, 2023) in Nottingham. This venue has created a lot of interest since unlocking their doors and is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The area upstairs has its own cocktail bar and lounge, which is also available to hire for private functions. The highly-trained chefs have worked at five-star venues in Dubai and India.

To commence lunch I chose Chicken Momo (famous Nepalese dish) and my taste buds really appreciated the flavours. For main I opted for Lagan Feast (includes fillet of Grilled

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Issue 130 2024

Seabass, Salmon Tikka, Lamb Chops, Chicken Tikka, Malai Tikka). Arriving with style, the presentation impressed. The complementing flavours were in abundance and all was perfectly cooked - ‘Compliments to Chef’.

Head Chef, Prakash and the team ensure most memorable dining experiences. Other main course favourites included fish, seafood, meat, curries and more.

Gift vouchers (surprise someone special?), collections and deliveries are available, plus outside catering. Parties and occasions are easily accommodated.

For dessert I selected Gulab Jamun with ice cream - splendid!

Lagan Indian Tapas,

Their VIP Club offers are most worthwhile checking out. Thank you to Kumar for exemplary service throughout. Highly recommended.

3 – 5 High Pavement, Nottingham NG1 1HF.

The fixed-price offers can include choices of 3 tapas, with a beer, sparkling wine or gin & tonic.

Bottomless Brunch has become a very popular feature also. Proprietor Suraj and the chefs’ special creations are enjoyed by many diners too. Wines/drinks offer beverages for all.

Tel: 0115 648 6666.

E-mail: info@lagantapas.co.uk Web: www.lagantapas.co.uk Web: www.lagantapas.co.uk/vipclub ‘Sister’ restaurant, Beeston, Nottinghamshire.

Web: www.laganindiantapas.co.uk

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IMPORTANCE OF...

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Issue 130 2024

Importance Of Removing Your Makeup Before You Go To Sleep You probably don’t need me to tell you the importance of regularly removing your makeup and washing your face before heading to bed.

So if you haven’t made this part of your bedtime routine yet, now is a really good time to start.

What happens if you don’t remove your makeup before sleeping?

When you sleep your skin heals, it regenerates and rebuilds cells and tissues. Leaving your makeup on disrupts the repair process, your

skin won’t be able to breathe and as a result produces more free radicals and clogs your pores.

Free radicals are substances that cause redness, inflammation and will leave your skin looking dull. They also destroy collagen, cause wrinkles, acne flare ups and blackheads.

What is the correct way to remove makeup?

I recommend considering a double cleanse.

Before going straight in with your cleanser,

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Issue 130 2024

firstly swipe an oil-based cleanser or micellar water over your skin using a cotton pad. The alternative to this is to pour either of these products into your hands and then massage it onto your face.

Removing your eye makeup is especially important as

I recommend using Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water All-In-1 - you can find this product at most beauty retailers. Micellar water is like a modern day toner, except it’s kinder to your skin and gentle on sensitive skin as it doesn’t contain alcohol. I absolutely love micellar water as not only can it be used for your first cleanse, you can also use this product to remove your eye makeup too.

left over makeup can lead to eye infections.

Removing your eye makeup is especially important as left over makeup can lead to eye infections.

Makeup can also clog the delicate hair follicles around your eyes which can potentially cause oiliness and pimples.

So, now that you have removed the majority of your makeup with your first cleanse, you can now go ahead and begin your second cleanse.

The second cleanse will remove any stubborn makeup. My go to product at the moment is The Body Shop Camomile Sumptuous Makeup Cleansing Butter - Available to purchase from www.thebodyshop.com.

The Camomile Cleansing Butter has a lovely rich, buttery formula that gently melts makeup away in under 30 seconds.

Application is easy, take a walnut-sized amount of the cleansing butter, massage it into your skin and then rinse off with warm water.

Your skin is now lovely and clean and all ready for your daily application of SPF and moisturiser.

Hi, I am Charlie, a former make-up artist originally based in Norwich. I have always been passionate about art and channelling it through creative makeup. I trained at Norwich City College in Fashion and SFX makeup. My work has been published both nationally and internationally.

Want to see more? checkout my Instagram - @ThePoutyLip

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NOVA SILVER

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Issue 130 2024

Nova Silver Love Is In The Air! Are you ready for Valentine’s Day? Here at Nova Silver, we are getting ready for the day of love by picking out some of our favourite heart themed pieces, perfect to give to that special someone!

So, strap yourselves in and get ready to see some of our beautiful pieces that we think would make the perfect gift to show how much you love them!

Hearts, hearts, hearts!

You can’t go wrong with something heart themed for Valentine’s Day! Luckily, we have lots of different heart themed jewellery in our collection, ranging from plain sterling silver, to amber, and even to semi-precious stones!

If you want to go understated and cute, we have some lovely amber pendants that are perfect such as our small love heart shaped green amber pendant which is absolutely stunning. Or, if you want something that has a bit more meaning behind it, we also have a thoughtful “key to your heart” amber pendant along with matching earrings and also this lovely pure amber heart pendant with an eternity knot which both send such a lovely message.

Silver Hearts If you’re looking for something plainer, we also have some sterling silver heart themed jewellery as well! We have this lovely silver heart tag pendant which is perfect if you want to go straight to the point with your gift! Or if you want something a bit out there, we also have our geo range!

Why not try this super cute geo heart shaped sterling silver bracelet which can also come in earrings and a necklace!

Amethyst: The February Birthstone We also have some lovely amethyst pieces in our store and online which can either make the perfect Valentine’s present or an ideal birthday gift. Amethyst is the birthstone for February and is the violet variety of quartz. We have this lovely matching marquisate eye shaped pendant and earrings which look absolutely beautiful and can be worn both either casually or in the evening for a nice dinner out!

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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 130 2024

Best Of Norfolk - Through The Lens Of Our Readers Thanks to the wonderful photographs shared by our followers on Facebook, have a look at these amazing January images of our stunning region.

Charlotte Watlow - Sunrise Over Smallburgh

Abigail Craig PAGE

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BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 130 2024

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Fiona Ellis - Sunset In Banham

Charlotte Watlow PAGE

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Abigail Craig

BEST OF NORFOLK Issue 130 2024 Charlotte Watlow

Charlotte Watlow - Snowy Nose

To be in with a chance of having your own photographs featured in the future, look out for our regular Facebook posts where you can add your images. Alternatively, send an email with your image and caption to: submissions@icenimagazine.co.uk PAGE

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Focus On:

Relationships

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WOULD NOW BE...

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Issue 130 2024

Would Now Be A Good Time To Start All Over Again?

Post-Christmas can be a gloomy time.

The decorations are down, it may feel like weeks until the next pay day, there’s nothing exciting in the diary and the weather is often dark and rainy. It’s tempting to say that there must be more to life than this. Is it time to move, emigrate, leave what we have and start again?

Something needs to happen to shake things up a bit! We may find ourselves thinking that life’s too short to compromise.

Whilst the thought of walking away from our lives can be appealing it’s interesting that this often happens at New Year, when many of us are a bit flat and, as such, are feeling inspired to make resolutions and start again.

But an impetuous knee-jerk reaction can bring regret, even before the ink’s dried on the resignation letter.

Family lawyers often say that New Year is one of their busiest times of the year, after couples have been hot-housed together for longer

periods than usual. They may have run out of things to say and do together, have no spare money for fun and treats and find themselves looking at each other, wondering whatever did they see in each other that was once so appealing!

But other areas of life can feel uninspiring too.

If there’s been a festive period of socialising, spending money, partying and perhaps enjoying a rather glamorous lifestyle, our normal, routine lives may feel a little empty and humdrum.

After over-indulging in food, drink and late nights accept that this out of the ordinary behaviour may be a contributory factor to your feeling jaded, out of sorts and not your usual self.

Feeling sluggish and low-mood can be helped by a gym session, fitness class, brisk walk or run in the fresh air, so refreshing your outlook and making the day feel brighter and more positive.

Undergoing a detox can also be a good decision,

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Issue 130 2024

clearing out the excesses, implementing better self-care and sleeping habits

opportunities for progression, that you’re taken for granted, in a comfort zone?

Before making a life-changing decision it’s important to be in a good place mentally, to calmly weigh up the pros and the cons before deciding to walk away from it all.

Maybe you’re paid well enough but have little to challenge or inspire you. Is it time to have a conversation with your manager and explore what opportunities could potentially be there for you? Have you been thinking about going it alone, becoming self-employed and starting your own business? There’s a lot to think about and plan in order to do this well.

Having a good relationship with someone you trust can help, if you feel positive about chatting through the way you feel about your life, especially when that person knows you well.

They may have a vested interest in the outcome of your decision, but will still want what’s best for you. An unhappy area of life can cast a shadow over everything we do.

But, when you assess your relationship you may come to appreciate that you have to bear some responsibility for the way it is and accept that it may need more regular investment than you’ve been making in order to function well.

You may need to regularly commit more time, attention and interest and demonstrate that your partner’s important to you. You’re prepared to work at your relationship, communicate openly and honestly and let them see how much you care.

When you reflect on your job, ask yourself what does it mean to you? Are you in the midst of an apprenticeship, an internship, following a trainee programme that links with professional qualifications? Leaving now could mean serious implications for you in the longer term. Or are you feeling a little stuck, that there are few

What about the other areas of your life? Might you be feeling a bit flat, low or lonely and need to make the effort to connect with others and make new friends? The New Year can be a good time to join a gym or new club, meet new people and become more positive about life. Many people feel the same way, so it’s a good time to meet and refresh your ‘friends’ pool.

The festive period can offer the time and opportunity to reflect on the different areas of your life, your job, relationships and your quality of life. But other times can also inspire change too. A divorce, house move, new job, retirement, change in family circumstances, all can prompt a ‘no time like the present’ mentality and kick-start a new outlook on life.

If you’ve come to realise that one or more areas are not working for you, that you’ve been coasting along for too long, it may actually be that now is the time to investigate different options, make changes or even walk away. Not everything in life is guaranteed to last forever and sometimes that cliché, ‘new year, new you’ does ring true.

Article By Susan Leigh Susan Leigh, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence.

She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support. For more articles, information or to make contact please visit: http://www.lifestyletherapy.net Twitter: @icenimagazine

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MAINTAINING AN...

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Issue 130 2024

Maintaining An Active Sex Life Despite Running A Busy Household In the hustle and bustle of managing a busy household, it’s common for intimacy to take a back seat.

Balancing work, children, and various responsibilities can leave little time or energy for maintaining an active sex life. However, with some strategic planning and a touch of creativity, it’s possible to keep the flames of passion burning bright even amid the chaos of daily life.

Here are some tips to help you nurture intimacy and make the most of alone time: 1. **Communicate Openly:** Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy

sex life. Be open with your partner about your desires, challenges, and the importance of maintaining intimacy. By sharing your feelings and concerns, you can work together to find solutions that suit both of your schedules.

2. **Schedule Intimate Time:** It might sound unromantic, but scheduling intimate time can be a game-changer. Set aside specific times for intimacy, just as you would for any other important commitment. This ensures that you both prioritise this aspect of your relationship.

3. **Prioritise Quality Sleep:** A well-rested mind and body are essential for a fulfilling sex life. Make an effort to get enough sleep by establishing a relaxing bedtime routine and creating a comfortable sleep environment.

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When you and your partner are well-rested, you will be more inclined towards intimacy.

4. **Delegate Responsibilities:** Running a household is a team effort. Delegate tasks and responsibilities where possible, allowing both partners to free up time for each other.

By sharing the load, you can create more opportunities for intimate moments.

5. **Get Creative with Quickies:** Not every intimate encounter needs to be a lengthy affair.

Embrace the concept of “quickies” - brief, spontaneous moments of passion that can fit into a busy schedule. Whether it’s during a lunch break or before the children wake up, quickies can be a satisfying way to connect with your partner.

6. **Embrace Technology:** In today’s digital age, technology can be a valuable ally in maintaining intimacy. Use messaging apps to send flirtatious messages throughout the day or schedule video calls for some virtual alone time when physical proximity isn’t possible.

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7. **Invest in Self-Care:** Taking care of yourself is crucial for maintaining a healthy sex life. Find time for activities that help you relax and feel good about yourself, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or pursuing a hobby. When you feel confident and balanced, you’ll be more receptive to intimacy.

8. **Create a Romantic Atmosphere:** Even in a busy household, it’s important to create a romantic ambiance when the opportunity for intimacy arises. Dim the lights, play soft music, or simply take a moment to connect and appreciate each other’s company.

9. **Explore New Routines:** Change up your daily routines to create opportunities for intimacy. Whether it’s waking up a bit earlier in the morning or winding down together in the evening, altering your schedule can carve out time for intimacy.

10. **Seek Support When Needed:** Balancing a busy household and a healthy sex life can be challenging. Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals if you feel overwhelmed.

By addressing the underlying stressors, you can create a more conducive environment for intimacy.

In conclusion, maintaining an active sex life amidst the demands of a busy household requires intention, creativity, and flexibility.

By prioritising communication, scheduling intimate time, and making the most of available opportunities, you can nurture a fulfilling and intimate connection with your partner, enriching both your relationship and your overall well-being.

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DATE NIGHTS TO...

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Issue 130 2024

Date Nights To Keep The Spark Alive Keeping the spark alive in a marriage Dos and Don’ts or long-term relationship is crucial Date Nights: for its longevity and vitality.

Dos: One effective way to achieve this is by regularly going on date nights.

These special evenings provide an opportunity to reconnect, communicate, and enjoy each other’s company away from the daily stresses and responsibilities.

Date nights can rekindle romance, strengthen emotional bonds and inject excitement into the relationship, making them an essential practice for couples.

Let’s delve into the dos and don’ts of date nights, along with a list of suggested activities to keep the flame burning bright.

for

Couples

on

1. Communicate: Use this time to engage in meaningful conversations and truly listen to each other without distractions.

2. Plan together: Involve both partners in the decision-making process for date night activities to ensure both parties are excited about the plans.

3. Be present: Put away electronic devices and focus on each other to make the most of your time together.

4. Try new things: Use date nights as an opportunity to explore new activities, restaurants or hobbies together.

5. Express appreciation: Take the time to express gratitude and appreciation for your partner and the effort they put into the relationship.

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Don’ts: 1. Avoid talking about stressful topics: Date nights are meant for relaxation and enjoyment, so steer clear of stressful or contentious discussions including work!

2. Don’t be late: Punctuality shows respect for your partner and sets a positive tone for the evening.

3. Avoid distractions: Keep your attention on your partner rather than on external distractions such as work or other concerns.

4. Don’t over-plan: While it’s good to have a plan, leave room for spontaneity and enjoy the moment.

5. Avoid comparing: Each date night is unique, so avoid comparing it to previous experiences or other couples’ outings.

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Suggested Date Night Activities: 1. Cooking class: Learn to prepare a new dish together or explore a cuisine you both love.

2. Outdoor movie night: Set up a cosy outdoor movie screening in your garden. Snuggle up together under blankets and enjoy toasting marshmallows.

3. Stargazing: Find a peaceful spot away from city lights and spend the evening admiring the stars.

4. DIY spa night: Create a relaxing spa experience at home with massages, face masks and soothing music.

5. Art or pottery class: Tap into your creative sides and unleash your artistic talents together.

6. Volunteer together: Engage in a meaningful activity by volunteering for a cause you both care about.

7. Visit a local attraction: Explore a nearby museum, botanical garden or historical site.

8. Take a dance class: Learn a new dance style or revisit an old favourite for a fun and intimate experience.

Regular date nights can breathe new life into a relationship, fostering closeness and building fond memories.

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THE POWER OF...

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Issue 130 2024

The Power Of Relationships On Our Weight Loss Journeys: Together, We Are Stronger!

Losing weight can be tough but even the week ahead. The community of members in group help each other to build strategies and tougher on our own. share tips to build healthy habits for life.

This is why so many people turn to Slimming World groups. There is often anxiety about joining a group, what’s it going to be like, will I be judged, what will I have to say?? Each week, I reassure new members that Slimming World groups are the most supportive and nonjudgemental places, we are all in it together and we all get the ups and downs of the journey.

Slimming World was the first weight-loss organisation to recognise the importance of psychological and emotional support in weight management and address the emotional barriers to change through compassion and understanding. During our powerfully motivating group support, members benefit from the experiences of our fellow members - to inspire and be inspired, to change deep-rooted habits, share healthy swaps and make plans for

Relationships on our weight loss journeys are so powerful, whether people come with a friend to group or make friends.

Sue and Ellie joined my Slimming World group together, Nan and Granddaughter, they have the most beautiful relationship and support for each other, and we cannot be more proud of them. Sue has now got back to her target weight and Ellie has lost an incredible 3.5 stone in 6 months! Here’s a bit about their support to each other in Sue’s own words: ‘Being at Slimming World together is really special. I suffer with anxiety and I know I have to be together and strong for Ellie which in turn helps me stay focused and not let me think on my own anxieties. Just seeing Ellie’s face on the scales each week, good or bad, makes me so very proud, she has already lost 3.5 stone! We plan

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and try out different meals. I make sure Ellie always feels good about what she’s achieved and never to worry if the scales haven’t been so good as she’d like, we draw a line and carry on.

It’s really important to me Ellie is happy with who she is, seeing her smile and gaining back her confidence bit by bit is truly amazing but we still couldn’t do it without the wonderful group we are part of.’

I asked some members to tell me the power of doing Slimming World with a friend: Sarah shared: ‘It’s great doing Slimming World with a friend, we message all the time with new finds, share pictures of our meals, cook for each other and if one of us is a bit stuck we remind the other of how far we’ve come.’

Emma joined with her friend and said, ‘I couldn’t do this without support from my friend in group, she will send me a recipe when I need one or an idea on how to cook something.

Cooking has never been my niche. Reminding me my reason why!!’

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Sarah has brought a few of her friends to our group, here’s what she said, ‘I attend group with friends and we all help each other on our journeys. We inspire each other every week and any hiccup we may have we are there to help.

We have our own WhatsApp group where we share ideas and show each other our meals.’

But what if you don’t start your weight loss journey with a friend? Don’t worry you can make them! One of my members Ann said, ‘Finding a Slimming World buddy at group has helped both of us keep focused and on plan. We contact each other throughout the week offering support and encouragement as we are both on the same journey. The support/encouragement a Slimming World buddy gives is great because we are both on the same journey so totally understand one another’s needs.’ I have loved seeing this friendship form and blossom.

My top tip - don’t do it alone! Share with a trusted friend, colleague, family member what you want to achieve, ask for their support and encouragement. You’ll be surprised how honoured people feel to be asked to support you and be on the journey with you.

And if you know someone who’d love to lose weight, or someone who might be struggling to lose weight alone, let them know all about our inspiring, motivating and uplifting Slimming World groups.

Hi, I'm Ali, a Slimming World Consultant in Old Catton and Thorpe Hamlet in Norwich. As a slimmer myself and a parent, I love to bulk cook, making family friendly meals. I am passionate about helping people achieve their goals and feeling healthier and confident.

If you or someone you know would like to lose half a stone or more I would love to hear from you! Get in touch to find out more about Slimming World groups: 07835111224.

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RELATIONSHIPS

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Issue 130 2024

Relationships This month we’re focusing on how relationships can impact our health and wellbeing.

I am a GP, Lifestyle Medic and Coach and founder of my company AuthenticallYouTM. As a Lifestyle Medic, I am part of the British Society of Lifestyle Medicine (BSLM), which works to prevent or reverse chronic health conditions which are often caused by lifestyle choices.

Lifestyle medicine is a branch of medicine that is evidence based and grounded in science.

The six pillars of lifestyle medicine are: 1. Mental Wellbeing and Stress Reduction 2. Healthy relationships 3. Sleep 4. Physical Activity & Movement 5. Healthy Nutrition 6. Reduction or cessation of harmful substances.

As you can see above, one of the pillars of Lifestyle Medicine is “Healthy Relationships”.

There is good evidence to show that being lonely is worse for our health than smoking and obesity combined! This statistic is shocking particularly when we think about the magnitude of the health campaigns against smoking and to support healthy eating, versus the absence of a Public Health or Government Policy to help us have meaningful connections and combat loneliness in order to stay healthy.

Therefore, it is safe to say, good relationships are pretty fundamental to our health.

All of us need authentic and meaningful connection. But how do we achieve this?

I would like to share with you a little bit about the back story of how I became the founder of my company AuthenticallYouTM. Having

worked as a full time GP for many years, it became obvious to me that modern illnesses needed different cures to what is historically prescribed by traditional medicine to often treat the symptoms but not the cause. I saw the impact that stress and trauma had on the body and how it shows up in signs and symptoms that patients brought to me every single day. It became obvious that when we stop listening to our bodies, they simply shout louder until we listen, and sometimes this means that we are floored with illness and unable to keep on the path we were walking.

Psychoneuroimmunology is the study of how trauma and stress impacts on the body. We become unwell when we stop knowing ourselves.

I developed AuthenticallYouTM to help patients tune into their own bodies and start living a life that they wanted and that mattered to them. My purpose is to “Help you live your life with intention to create health and happiness”. I work with patients every day with various illnesses, mental health conditions, or autoimmune conditions, often

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caused from suppressing ignoring our needs.

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emotions

and

We have two key relationships - 1) the relationship we have with ourselves and 2) the relationship with have with others. Today I am solely focusing on the relationship we have with ourselves.

So, how can we have a better relationship with ourselves? Here are some useful tips: 1. Listen to your instincts All of us hold the answers within ourselves.

So often we outsource our decision making to others, yet we are the only ones who truly know ourselves the best. Learning to allow space to listen to our instincts and then having the courage to follow through is a real strength.

2. Have the courage to be yourself Self Acceptance is key. So many of us try and be what we think other people might need, and what other people want. Learning to be who we are, and sitting in the comfort of that, is liberating and calming for our bodies because we do not have to live our lives pretending to be something or someone we are not.

3. Stay curious All of our lived experiences shape us and change our view of ourselves and the world. I know I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, and I have very different needs and wants now. Just as we keep getting to know our children as they grow up, it is important we keep getting to know ourselves at every stage of our lives.

be suitable for us, but if this is not in alignment with what we want, it can create stress and then inflammation in our bodies. So trying to quiet the voice of other people’s expectations and live to our own goal posts is invaluable.

5. Practise self-compassion Speaking to ourselves with kindness and acceptance is soothing for our nervous system and creates an inner calm which is conducive to positive wellbeing.

Coaching is a great way to get to know yourself and bring self-awareness, so please reach out if you would like support to have the courage to live the life you want to have. Remember, when we really know ourselves, it is then that we know what we need from others and healthy friendships and relationships will flow too.

4. Live to your expectations Sometimes without realising it, we can find ourselves doing things because we feel we should do them, without really stopping to think why. We all have our own narratives which have been passed down through our upbringing.

Sometimes our parents have been really clear in their often well-meaning expectations for us e.g. to marry by a certain age, or which job would

If you need any support please reach out and contact me on the details below: Visit: www.authenticallyou.co.uk Instagram: @authenticallyou1 Facebook: Sarah Sykes - AuthenticallYou Email: authenticallyou@hotmail.com PAGE

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Carry on reading to find out

Our Picks Of What’s On this month.

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WHAT'S ON...

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Issue 130 2024

The Norfolk National Garden Scheme’s Snowdrop Festival

The garden visiting season begins with Lexham Hall promises a good show of snowdrops this year, as they have been clearing the ever-popular snowdrop gardens.

Who does not enjoy the sight of these delightful little white flowers, the harbingers of spring?

There is something for everyone throughout this festival, running through February to March; if you are interested in the diversity of the species that grow, then you can enjoy over 100 varieties at Chestnut Farm. Perhaps you would like to learn a little more about their cultivation with a specialised grower at Old Hall Farmhouse, opening for the first time for the Scheme (prebooked tickets essential). Why not take a special guided tour at Raveningham Hall with the owner Sir Nicholas Bacon, former president of the Royal Horticultural Society (pre-booking essential). And if it is simply to stretch the legs and enjoy a woodland walk through a carpet of snowdrops then Bagthorpe Hall, Horstead House and Lexham Hall will all be opening their gates.

areas of brambles, allowing a little more light into overgrown areas and so encouraging their growth. Anthea Foster, owner of Lexham Hall which has been opening for the Scheme for over 50 years, commented “Year-on-year we have noticed an increase in families visiting, as children whose admission is free, love to run along the paths and delight in seeing these little flowers”. There is of course, that added bonus of tea and cake.

Sunday 4th and Sunday 11th February (11-4) Lexham Hall nr Litcham, PE32 2QJ. Adm £6.00 chd free. Light refreshments.

Dogs welcome on leads.

Parkland with lake and river walks surround C17/18 Hall (not open). Year-round interest with many winter shrubs. In February enjoy a lovely ramble through fields and woods carpeted

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with snowdrops and some winter shrubs. Walk back through the walled-garden with its crinklecrankle wall.

Saturday 10th and Sunday 11th February (11-3) and also open by arrangement 1st - 18th Feb Horstead House, Mill Road, Horstead, Norwich, NR12 7AU. Adm £5, chd free. Home-made teas. Dogs welcome on leads.

Stunning display of snowdrops carpet the woodland setting with winter-flowering shrubs.

Another beautiful feature is the collection of dogwoods growing on a small island in the River Bure which flows through the garden. There is also a small walled garden. Wheelchair access to main snowdrop area.

Sunday 18th February (11-4) Bagthorpe Hall Bagthorpe, Bircham, King’s Lynn, PE31 6QY. Adm £5, chd free. Light refreshments.

Dogs welcome on leads.

A delightful circular walk which meanders through a splendid display of snowdrops naturally carpeting a woodland floor, and then returning through a walled garden.

Monday 19th February (2-4) Raveningham Hall Raveningham, Norwich, NR14 6NS. Adm £22 include home-made teas. Pre-booking essential, please visit www.ngs.org.uk for information & booking. Dogs welcome on leads.

Join Sir Nicholas Bacon (former president of RHS) for a guided walk around the many varieties of snowdrop growing in the gardens and parkland of his home.

Thursday 22nd February and Saturday 24th February (11-1 & 2-4) Old Hall Farmhouse Little Wood Lane, Swanton Novers, Melton Constable, NR24 2RE. Adm £10.

Pre-booking essential, please visit www.ngs.org.uk for information &

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booking. Light refreshments in aid of local church.

This garden is new to the Scheme, and you can enjoy a morning or afternoon visit to this charming garden full of snowdrop cultivars, hellebores and other winter-flowering plants. The owner will welcome you and give an introduction to collecting and growing snowdrops.

Sunday 25th February (11-4) Also open by arrangement until 28th July Chestnut Farm Church Road, West Beckham, Holt, NR25 6NX Adm £5, chd free. Light refreshments.

Dogs welcome on leads.

Mature three-acre garden developed over 60 years with collections of many rare and unusual plants and trees. There are over 100 varieties of snowdrops, with drifts of crocus and seasonal flowering shrubs.

While garden visiting continues to be an enjoyable and inexpensive day out for the family, it also has its health benefits.

“Visits to our snowdrop and spring flower gardens are always a popular start to the garden visiting season and this latest research gives us more of an insight into why that is,” says National Garden Scheme chief executive, George Plumptre.

“Existing research generally links the health benefits of garden visiting to the summer months when most gardens are at their best. But our new research highlights the benefits of visiting in winter and, as well as comparing those to visiting in summer, shows how a winter visit helps combat the particular seasonal challenges that we all face at that time of year.”

It is advisable to always check our website for any up-to-date details on ngs.org.uk PAGE

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ICENI ANAGRAMS Issue 130 2024

ICENI ANAGRAMS This month’s Iceni Anagrams links to the theme of Relationships. See if you can work out the answers!

Solve all five and send us an email to: submissions@icenimagazine.co.uk with your answers for the chance to win an Iceni Magazine pen. UK residents only.

For any intimate relationship to stand a chance, CAMERON must be present.

Without SHY ETON, things are unlikely to work out.

If things are going well, there may be a LARS POOP especially at the end of this month!

This may then lead to an AIR GAMER. How exciting!

It’s always wonderful to find one’s ALT MOUSE in life.

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