New Year New Beginnings

New year, New Thinking, New You

Jan 2013 Issue No. 20

Overcoming Infidelity How to Survive the Mending Process

Music Reviews w/ J. Antoinne

Toast The New Year

Tweet Us

www.twitter.com/iCandiRadio

Your Monthly Candi Publisher MsiCandi iCandiPro@gmail.com Editor Jamaal A. Bivens Jamaal.Bivens@gmail.com Graphics & Photography Southern Stylez Graphics southernstylez904@yahoo.com Shannon D Photography ShannonDPhography.com Our Writers Millard Morgan Meghan Williams Jamaal A. Bivens Deanna Brewster Melissa Howe Mayo Woody Latoya Evans Donald Nicely Lashanna Dipiano Mrs Reese Lady R.E.D.

Dear iCandi (page 5) In Our Angel Hands (Page 18) #WhatWouldYouDo (page 8) Let’s NetWORK (page 9) Bucks with Bux (page 11) iCandi Challenge (page 12) New YEAR, NEW BEGINNINGs Pictorial (page 17) (Shannon D Photography) In Our Angels Hands (Page 28) Recipe Of The Month (Page 29)

Entertainment J. Antoinne Music Review (page 6) What Would You Do (page 8) The Streets Are Talking (Page 10) Fashion By R.E.D (Page 11) Candi Ladies (Short Story Series) (Page 24)

Relationships Overcoming Infidelity (page 13) Mama’s Boys (Page14) Toxic Relationships (Page 16)

Education New Year, New Thinking, New You (Page 20) Making A Change (Page 21)

Motivation Public Service AnnounceMent (page 4) What Is The New Sexy For 2013 (Page19)

PUPLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT Written By Lashanna Dipiano

It is a new year. New opportunities. New beginnings. New mercies. With all things being new, it is absolutely important that we understand that there is no possible way to move forward without leaving the past behind. It seems like such a simple concept, yet so many of us are holding onto things in our past that are preventing us from truly moving forward. The baggage of the past looks different for all of us. For some, the past is littered with the hurt from past relationship failures. For others, it is rejection and lack of tolerance from our families. Many of us have experienced failures in our careers and education. We have all experienced some manner of pain and sadness in our past. If you are reading this, you survived and have an opportunity to move on. The key to moving on is…well…moving on! That means under no circumstance do you look back on your past as an option for your future. The past is just that; the past.

Everything, everyone, every hurt, every loss, every tear, and every smile served a purpose. You are who you are today because you had those experiences and you should be able to learn from them and mature from them. Again, this seems like a simple concept. But many of us make a conscious decision to allow those experiences to control our emotions and actions in the present. We cheat ourselves out of the growth from those experiences by getting stuck in that moment. We carry the emotion of that moment into new experiences, stunting our growth and ultimately stealing our joy. In essence, we have become our worst enemy when we should be our own best friend.

THE PAST IS GONE

So I say to you the past is gone, and now is the time to take control of your life and move forward with an open mind and willing heart. Leave the fear of forgiveness behind you. Love openly and give without expectancy. Be fully present in this moment. Leave the baggage of your past in the past. Be open to try new things, meet new people, and enjoy a new you. It is a new year and with all the craziness in the world don’t be afraid the live your life without regret. No matter what your past is you are capable of having a bright future. The past is gone; I repeat, the past is gone. Make a pivotal life-changing decision to live in the now.

Love in the now. Forgive now. Let go of fear now. Let go of guilt now. Be your true self now. Now is all that matters.

Make the most of now!

Peace and Love

D

ear iCandi,

I need some advice please.... The big question is how do you teach a 32 year old grown man a lesson...? We don't have the perfect relationship, but it is amazing. The best I have ever experienced.

The problem is that he likes to say one thing and do another, on some situations. For instance, one afternoon he went to his parents to do laundry for us and we discussed while he was at his parents house, that we were going to have crab & movie night. He text me at 9:18 saying I'm on the way, you need anything? 11:15 rolls around and I'm like woah where is he.... So I called and no answer. I texted, no answer. 3:30 am rolls around and now I'm worried. So I called around to hospitals and the jail. No where to be found. 7:00 am comes along and I call at 730 and 745. No answer. I call his pops up, hey have you talked to him he said not since like 230 this morning.They were all at his friends house playing cards. So then my phone rings from his work phone saying he's sorry he was playing cards and he was ashamed to tell me. So basically he went to play cards and lied to me and ignored my calls and texts. I know I've been there, and he must have lost more than $500 maybe $800. That's why he is ashamed. I am upset because not only the money but because he said he was on his way and I was waiting like a f***ing fool !!!! I am so patient but I hate being played. How should I handle this...? I have already put him on punishment lol. I don't even know if that's right but the thing is this has happened every Sunday for 3 weeks !!! ~Ashley (Cincinnati, Ohio)~ Ashley Ashley Ashley Girl Closed mouths don't get fed. If you have a problem communicate your problem. Brushing it off and ignoring it won't change anything. I know you said he's a stand up guy and doesn't cheat, and that's awesome, but what I do see is that he's a liar. I can't stand a liar. Not only that, but it seems like he may have a gambling problem. I'm not going to say dump him, but he might need some help; but, he has to be willing to get the help. The fact that he had you waiting for him like a fool is what really annoys me.

Why would he think it's okay to have you waiting for 10 hours?

OHHHHHH GIRL IT COULDN'T BE ME!!! I don't think "punishment" is the best move. He's a grown man so treat him as such. He really needs to understand how you feel about it all and clean up his act or maybe there is another stand up guy out there. You'd be surprised how many good guys exists. We just overlook them.

MsiCandi

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANUARY CANDIES! Lawrence AlwaysReady Cain 1/1 Quincy Aceboogiechris Allen 1/5 Donyae Fame Harrison 1/6 William Kirkland 1/6 Chris Toliver 1/8 Kgsmuve Will-sing 1/10 Tim Pope 1/11 Michael Jayce Brooks 1/15

Evonne Hubble-Perry 1/21 Ramone F. Garrett 1/26 London Janae 1/27 Curtis Carter 1/27 Fredd E. Redd 1/28 Lindsey Jean 1/29 Meghan “Bux� Williams 1/31

Music Reviews by J. Antoinne Alicia Keys - Girl On Fire RCA Records, 2012 Alicia Keys is someone that you either hate or love musically. Her first two albums, Songs In A Minor and The Diary of Alicia Keys, were both solid albums, and her last two, As I Am and The Element of Freedom, were kind of lackluster, so many people were hoping she didn't put out another lackluster album. While the screaming almost off-key notes are still intact, this is still a pretty enjoyable and solid album. Songs like the title track and "Limitedless" (which almost sounds like a Beyonce' song) are sure to get you moving, soft ballads like "Fire We Make", featuring Maxwell, and "That's When I Knew" will make you swoon. And the album's closer, "101" will renew your faith in the Alicia Keys you SHOULD love. Not too bad this time around.

(4 Stars)(B+) Ne-Yo - R.E.D. Motown/PGD Records, 2012 Since 2006's In My Own Words, Ne-Yo has routinely delivered cohesive albums with varying degrees of success. Although his albums don't sell as much as they probably should, it's his pen that pays the bills, and his lyricism is present solidly on this album, along with his nonmainstream voice and signature production. "Cracks In Mr. Perfect" is a well-written, wellproduced gem, as is "She Is", features country crooner Tim McGraw. Sure, there are a couple missteps like the baseless "Don't Make 'Em Like You" or the uninspiring "Should Be You", and some songs that sound too much alike, but the awesomeness of ballads like "Stress Reliever" and "Alone With You (Maddie's Song)" more than make up for those bumps in the road. Definitely worth a few spins.

(4 Stars)(B+) Eric Benet - The One Jordan House Records, 2012 Eric Benet has always been synonymous with soul, even on a couple of his lackluster albums.

Still, one can almost always expect a decent album from Eric, and this album is no different. Eric has found his niche and stuck with it, and has, because of that, consistently released listenable albums. Here, he shows us more of his range, as included in the soaring "Real Love" and the flowing "Lay It Down". and the true ballad "Here In My Arms (Lucia's Lullaby)", an ode to his newborn daughter Lucia Bella, is a masterpiece in itself. There are some attempts to sound current which could have been left on the cutting room floor, but this another Eric Benet album that can pretty much be played front to back. A true, feel-good album.

(4.25 Stars)(A-)

Brandy - Two Eleven RCA Records, 2012 One thing about Brandy is that she will consistently put out a complete album. Although 2009's Human wasn't well-received, it did have some decent material and the overall flow was decent.

However, this album will definitely leave an everlasting impression that Brandy is serious about her music. There's a myriad collection of awesomeness here, from the syncopated rhythms of "Slower", to the fullness of her vocal range in "So Sick"; from the body rockers of "Put It Down" and "Paint This House", to the mid-tempo, bountiful balladry of "Do You Know What You Have", "Wish Your Love Away", and "No Such Thing As Too Late", this is a pretty well-rounded album that pretty much anyone can love from beginning to end. This is the Brandy that we remember from Full Moon and Afrodisiac and the Brandy we want to stay around.

(4.75 Stars)(A+)

& nt ic me us in M rta te En

Vivian Green - The Green Room Entertainment One Music, 2012 Vivian's last album was 2010's Beautiful, a decent mixture of classic, soulful Vivian and mainstream Vivian, and although not as classic as her earlier albums, it was listenable. This album, however, is such a different Vivian that she's almost not worth listening to. Gone is the syrupy mezzo-soprano which littered her classic ballads, replaced with a raspy, gritty smoker's voice, and it's ever apparent on songs like "Remedy", "Free", and "Supposed to Be Mine". The rap-laden "X" doesn't even belong here, but the album is saved by tinges of her clear vocals, especially on the decent "Forever", the slow-bumping "When Can I See You Again", and "Faith", and the album's closer "Light the Universe", featuring a collection of soul songstresses, saves this album from complete failure.

(2.5 Stars)(C-)

Q. Parker - The MANual Malaco Records, 2012 Fans of the soulful quarter 112 will remember this man whose silky tenor filled the backgrounds and leads of the group's five albums, and if you're looking for similar material to fill your 112 fix, this will do just that. There's a healthy balance of material here, from the uptempo songs like "Show You How" and "Two of Us" which features Faith Evans, to the sinewy ballads like "All About You" and "60 Seconds", both of which supply beautiful harmonies on top of great lead delivery, while the latter shows off Q's falsetto range. There's also an acoustic remake of his former group's hit song "Cupid" that works well. Although the album's songs seem to be out of order, one can actually still find something worth listening to in every single song.

(4.75 Stars)(A+)

Don't Miss This!

Throwback albums that you probably don't have (BUT SHOULD)

The Braxtons - So Many Ways LONG before they were the stars of the hit show "Braxton Family Values", these ladies crafted an album that was grossly overlooked. "Where's the Good In Goodbye" and the remake of Diana Ross's "The Boss" are two standout cuts worth more than a few listens.

Syleena Johnson - Acoustic Soul Sessions The star of the hit show "R&B Divas" has been making music for fifteen years, and it shows on this live album featuring songs from her last album. "Stone Wall" and "Angry Girl" are just a couple of songs worth mentioning from this EP.

. . . . . . o D u o Y ld

u o W t Wha

What would you do if after a year and a half of dating (great relationship, great sex, have met the family, thinking of marriage) your significant other tells you that they were born a _______ (opposite sex) and has had a sex change for 5 year.

Coming Soon.....

Virginia Brown I would be like WHAT?!!! lol but I guess it wouldnt make that much of a difference because by that time I had fallen love with them as a person it wouldnt matter what they "used" to be.

McClure Mngmt WTH that was a good question #Boggled Brent Gray kill myself...

Matthew Djpyrac Thompson kill the whole family in a gruesome scene... that'd be different Earnest RightThurr Zimmerman Leeeettt's get ready to ruuummmmbbbllleeee!

Tiffany Takalani Kelley WHAT CAN YOU DO? CONTINUE TO LOVE AND SUPPORT THEM.

Be Sure to “Like� us on facebook

The Streets Are Talking Why is it that we sometimes tend to embrace someone else's ‘reality’ but shun or even run away from our own? For example, recently rapper Shorty Lo was set to star in a new ‘reality’ show on the Oxygen channel entitled ‘All my babies mamas’. As distasteful as the title may be, it is based on an all too common and very familiar situation. The show is about Shorty Lo, his 10 baby mamas and the 11 children they share. Now as ratchet as it may seem to be for some, for others it may hit a little closer to home. There may be ‘Shorty Lo’ situation in your hood (3 or 4 of them); shoot I’m going to go out on a limb and say that there might be a ‘Shorty Lo’ in your family! Because Shorty Lo chose to bring this (his) situation to the forefront in a ‘reality’ outlet, he is being criticized and, in my opinion, hated on. The thought of this show airing ‘his’ (and some of ours) ‘reality’ got under some people's skin, so much so that they started a petition and threatened to boycott the Oxygen channel. This eventually led to Oxygen canceling the show. These petitioners happen to be some of the same people who have managed to keep the show Sister Wives on the air since 2010. Sister Wives is a show on TLC channel about polygamist Kody Brown and his four ‘wives’.

Legally, Kody has one wife and three baby mamas and they share seventeen children. So I ask, what makes this show worthy of air time? Is it because they are calling it a religion or is it the fact that their faces don’t look like ours? Could it be that we don’t have a Kody (a polygamist by religion) in our hood or our families? How is it that we can accept or even at times embrace ‘their reality’ that may be just as or even more ratchet than our own? Not to say that we have to agree with it but we should acknowledge it and recognize it as our own. Yeah I said it and y'all should listen to me cause I’m the one to gossip!

BUCKS WITH BUX

It is time for some big changes going into the new year of 2013. I know hearing about saving money can seem like you are beating a dead horse, but guess what?

You’re not; you are simply making some little decisions that that can help in a BIG way. For those of you with credits cards (I’m guilty as charged), pay on the high interest credit cards. Since it is a money game and not all cards are created equally, find out what your interest rate is on all your cards with outstanding balances, and focus your efforts on whichever card has the highest rate. That'll help you bring your total interest charges down the quickest. Tax status is another area that people miss out on money. The government doesn’t have to pay you a cent on interest on the money you overpaid them by failing to properly account for your tax status. Too many Americans overpay on their taxes during the course of the year, cheating themselves out of money-generating returns. Still HAVE to have brand name everything? In time you will see that using generics you can save up 40-80% and save money. I’m here say think SMART for 2013 and just a little makes a BIG difference.

FASHION BY R.E.D. Happy New Year to the new you (with two snaps and a neck roll). Let's start the year off right and sassy on a budget. You don’t have to go broke on trying to keep up with the trends. Buy a few new pieces to make your current pieces look better; as long as you look cute know one is going to notice that you don’t have on the latest trend. As long as you are somewhat current you

My good girlfriend (in my mind) Fantasia has FINALLY released a new single. This one is very deep.

Using a sample from The Commodores' song “Nightshift”. Fantasia has geared up for her comeback.

Her new album is set to be released in March of this year. I can’t wait. I know she’s gonna have me laughing, crying, loving, and shouting all on one album.

Be sure to download her new single on iTunes.

are good. What are the current trends? One is the wedge tennis shoe pictured below.

Click HERE to download the song Upcoming Event: What:Coupon Class from Projecting Hope, Inc. When: Feb 2nd from 1-3pm.

Where:110 Compton rd 45215 ( The Centennial Barn) Please RSVP your name by texting 513-497-3956 We are asking for a $10 donation at the door.

The next new hot color for the spring is kelly green. Look professional and fashionable in this color; it will brighten up any outfit. I hope these few little bits of advice keep you in the know on a budget. Happy shopping!! ttyl Lady RED.

#iCandiChallenge

#iCandiChallenge for January 2013 With Valentine's Day around the corner, I want to get you prepared. I challenge you to put some romance in someone's life and document it by taking a photograph. Now, this isn't about spending a lot of money; it's about being creative and romantic. The picture deadline is January 31, 2013. Do you accept the challenge?? ~MsiCandi~

n io t la e R

s ip h s

Overcoming Infidelity How to Survive the Mending Process Written By Latoya D. Evans

I’ve heard plenty of men and women say that if their partner cheats, they will break up with them. That’s not always the case. Plenty of couples do stay together after dealing with infidelity. It’s not an easy task. The person that was cheated on will have trust issues, they may wonder if it was their fault, and may even still have thoughts of leaving. The person who cheated may feel guilt and the overwhelming feeling to try their hardest to gain back their partner’s trust.

Once a person decides to forgive, this will be a new beginning for the couple. The mending phase can be pretty difficult, but the main thing to understand is that by forgiving, you’ve survived it. Survival is completely possible. Both people have to really want the relationship to work. The couple has to accept the changes they are going through and embrace their new beginning.

The first thing that has to happen is “The Talk.” The couple has to tackle the issue head on: Why did he/she cheat, what went wrong? Why are they staying together?

What are their current expectations out of the relationship and each other? Where do they want to be in the future?

This is a good time to make goals for the relationship.

First, outline what needs to be worked on and actually work towards that goal. Next, the couple needs to reconnect. They have to try to get back to what attracted them to each other. Things change and that’s okay. They don’t necessarily have to do the same things you used to do. Create new memories; get to know each other again.

Make special time for weekly dates, maybe a weekend vacation whenever possible, and just alone time to talk, spend quality time together and get to know each other again.

While it’s a hard thing to do, put the past in the past. Accept that it happened and move forward.

Dwelling on the past is not helpful or healthy for the relationship. It’s okay to forgive and not forget, but punishment for the actions is not the direction to go in if reconciliation is desired. It’s normal for both people to feel like they have to try extremely hard to make the other person happy. The truth is, that feeling may be present for awhile. The thing to remember is that embarking on this new beginning makes room for making each other happy because you want to, not because something bad happened.

Communication is important! Some people don’t like to share emotionally, but sadly, if you’re in a relationship, you have to. It’s good for the other person to know how you feel. If you’re not happy, tell your partner. Tell them why and how you two can work through it. Bottling your feelings is not a good thing. In this new beginning, occasionally share your feelings. If something doesn’t feel good in the relationship, express that.

No one will know if you don’t communicate.

Most infidelity is caused by lack of communication or lack of attention. To combat cheating before it is even thought of, establish that healthy communication at the start of your relationship and continue it. The mending process takes time and effort. If a couple agrees to continue their relationship they must be willing to work at it. Be patient. It will be awkward at first, but once you start to get to know each other again, things will fall back into place.

Mama’s Boys

I often get a letter, email, text, inbox, etc. on this subject. Let me start off by giving you my own personal definition of a "mama's boy".

Mama's Boy: a man whose relationship with his mother clouds his judgement to have a romantic relationship with a woman. He seeks approval from his mother for every decision he makes. He's not able to truly form a bond with a spouse due to interference from said mother and he's unable to "man up" and separate "his mother" and "his woman".

Earlier last year, The Go2Gurl and I did a show on "mama's boys" and we were thrown off when an actual "mama's boy" called in and we got to hear him completely disrespect his woman LIVE on air (The Go2Gurl wasn't having that...check out the show). We definitely weren't expecting it but we all know that they exist. I personally am very close to my parents. They both mean the world to me; however, I do understand the difference between my parent(s) and my man! There are just some things that my parents can't do for me that my man can (ya feel me?).

I recently received a dear iCandi letter from a young lady in California and I decided to use her letter to survey my Facebook Candi Babies. First, I took her scenario to the men.

"Okay Fellas: your mother and your wife get into a very heated argument over something pertaining to your children. Your mother calls your wife a b*tch and your wife tells your mom to leave the house. How do you diffuse the situation?"

I honestly thought my Facebook fellas were going to give some great advice. They understand that once a man is married he and his wife have a certain bond and commitment that NO ONE is to come between. Most of the men that responded agreed and they gave some very intelligent and respectable answers.

Mom's has got to go...and we will resolve the situation at another time...Cant have her calling my wife a b*tch...Totally disrespectful and even worse if it is done in front of the children." ~Brent~ "First of all that is completely rubbish or nonsense and I will not let my own mother get away with because once everybody see that and now gives some older people the access to disrespect my wife. I will ask my mother 2 questions and the questions will be "Do you love me" and "do you want me to be happy?" Then I will ask her to apologize to my wife and I will also apologize to my wife with loving tears and then I will kiss my mother and tell her how much I truly appreciate her as my mother and then I will kiss my wife in front of my mother." ~Ubong~ "I would support my wife. I would walk my mother to her car and explain to her what she already knows; which is, she can't disrespect my wife like that. I would then make sure my wife and kids are okay. Hopefully we can sit down and work it out like adults at a later time." ~Donald~

one answer really surprised me "First of all mom is NOT leaving the house, second of all mom raised me so wifey will have to take this one and chalk it up. If MY mom called my wife a bitch I am certain there was a reason so like adults we will sit down and talk about it and figure out if an apology needs to be in order." ~A True Mama’s Boy~

I’m not sure about you all (as in my readers) but this guy has the game ALL MESSED UP!!! Nowhere is he at all coming to his WIFE’S defense. This is the woman he married and committed the rest of his life to. He wants his wife to “chalk it up” and if his mother called her a B*TCH “she must have had a reason." Can we please put this clown in the HOT MESS OF A MONTH category? He definitely needs to have several seats and get his life (in my Tamar Braxton voice)!!

MsiCandi

CI NC IN

NA TI

Staying in a relationship that you really don’t want to be in.......

Toxic Relationships

release? We just wrapped them nicely, secured them safely and stored them in our emotional mental safe. We vowed NEVER to forget, thinking that it will prevent us from ever making that same mistake again, when in fact, it causes us to make many more mistakes. We carry on with our lives and we continue to meet new people, pretending to be completely stable and emotionally secure, when the truth is we are still hurting from our previous relationship. Some say “well, I don’t want to be with them, but I am hurt.”

You owe it to yourself to let them know how you feel and how they hurt you.

It's not an attempt to rekindle the relationship, but to free yourself and your emotions. You need to move on with your life so you might 3inally enter the relationship that you deserve and desire. You deserve to be happy.

You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you. In 2013 you deserve to be FREE!

By Mayo Woody Do you sometimes think that you will never 3ind anyone you can trust because you have been hurt so many times? Do you automatically look for the bad in a person when entering a relationship?

Contrary to what you may think, love is out there even for you. Perhaps it would help for you to adjust the way you approach relationships. Try to separate your mental state from your emotional state and go into the relationship with your brain, using all 3ive senses and not just your heart. If it looks funny, observe closely. If it smells funny, indulge in the aroma.

If it feels funny, slowly glide your 3ingers across it,

pointing out every questionable piece. If it sounds funny, listen more carefully, and if it tastes funny it’s probably NO GOOD! But this process takes time; that’s why it’s best to check emotions at

“I don’t want to be with them, but am hurt the door. Now, it’s easy for us to see the 3laws in our mates or potential mates, but how often do we stop to see how many of those 3laws are our own? How many are just leftover ruins from past relationships or hurts that we were unable to

Mayo is the Founder of Projecting Hope Inc.

Projecting Hope Inc. is Non-­‐Pro;it Organization committed to the empowerment of families in our area and around the world, with the knowledge necessary to make permanent positive changes. We believe that by helping fathers and mothers connect with their children the structure of the family will be strengthened. We are also committed to offering the community a variety of life skill workshops to help cope with the constant changes in todays economy.

http://www.facebook.com/ProjectingHope

Photography by Shannon D. Photography Jacksonville, FL

Photography by Shannon D. Photography Jacksonville, FL

What is the New Sexy for 2013?

Wri$en By Mrs. Reese “Happy New Year to ME." This is very much needed this year in our society. While we definitely need to help others and lend a helping hand when possible, we must truly get down and dirty this year and focus on ourselves. Start learning and loving YOURSELF in 2013. It seems simple, but this is not always so easy; however, we all can get there with the correct mental state of mind. To my beautiful women of 2013 we must change the perception of who we want to represent in our society. The image of a beautiful woman right now is all about being Sexy; most of the entertainment industry (Television/Music/Magazine) is set on who has the most voluptuous frame and showing the most skin wins. We have to start feeling our sexy with our mind which will eventually reflect on the outside; a much more intellectual sexy. Let’s be honest: we all want to walk that walk and talk that talk, but we can do it with CLASS, add some SASS, and keep the focus not so much on our A$$.

It’s time ladies that we realize we have the power to change the world; we set the bar. The key to having the courage to be yourself is having High SelfEsteem. You must be able to look in the mirror and know that you are fabulous. Beautiful, classy women, all covered up; What do we want to show to our future let’s set a new TREND!!!! women being raised right now in this world? Do we want to continue the era of less clothing getting you noticed, or do we want to teach them that leaving more to the imagination is always the best for success in all avenues of our life? Let’s try something new going into this New Year of 2013: let your mind shine and show your breast less.

Create positive images and energy for women; show our true sexy: SmartExhilarating-Xtra- and Youthful. Now don’t get me wrong there is a time and a place to expose your inner Sexy, but it doesn’t take place in church, place of employment, or your child’s school. If you have it then it will show; you don’t have to flaunt it. It's time we learn that what we put out into the world is what we will receive. If we offer strong, powerful, productive, morally sound women to the world, then that will be the new trend.

Let’s keep it real; everyone just jumps on bandwagons. Let’s jump on a few new things for our culture to follow. Morals: Treat people with respect at all times, the simple rule, do unto others as you would like them to do unto to you. Karma: Keep this at the forefront; what you put out into the universe is going to come back to you, so if you remain positive and productive you will in return move forward in life.

If you back stab, cheat, and lie and are not morally sound, then you will have to deal with the turmoil until you turn the energy around into something positive. Spirituality: You have to believe in something; if not you will fall for everything.

Know what makes you who you are and be proud to be that person. Make your life SEXY and keep moving towards success and happiness that can be shared and duplicated among your peers. Make a new trend, spread positivity, love and most of all educate yourself so that you are properly armed with making sound decisions. Most of all ladies, let the sexy come from within and I promise you will always WIN! Talk to you next month.

n

Th

o eC

u io c s

sC

r ne r o

“New Year, New Thinking, New You” Written by Brotha Insight

A New Year’s resolution is a commitment that a person makes, whether it’s a personal goal, project, or the reforming of a habit. The key to a New Year’s resolution compared to other resolutions is that it’s made with the anticipation of the New Year and new beginning. The New Year marks a time for everyone to start thinking about what they can do better this upcoming year. It’s simple; just jot down a few areas for improvement and make an effort to stay on track. The problem is we almost never stick to the resolution because they are usually something superficial or not important. If it wasn't, we wouldn’t wait until January to begin working on improving our life. It’s great to set goals and begin projects but don’t make it just for 2013, make it for the rest of your life. I often hear people say they failed at something, but it’s never failure if you just keep moving in the right direction and never give up.

A new year gives you a chance for a new start to try and become the person that you would like to be. I think we often get lost because we forget to work on what was holding us back in the first place. Take a piece of paper and write down five goals for 2013. Then turn it over and write five things that are holding you back from meeting your goals. Start working on the five things that have been hindering you from already being successful at your New Year’s Resolutions.

Once you work on what has been holding you back, you will not need a New Year’s Resolution. You will just start living your life and moving in the right direction and embracing the new you that has already been inside. We all have the potential for improvement but we must embrace who we are and ensure that we are not too hard on ourselves. We need to make sure we make realistic and attainable goals. Nobody is perfect; we all make mistakes or stumble in life. The important thing to remember is to learn from it and increase your learning curve by exceeding your expectations.

For example, you want to do the biggest resolution everyone makes almost every year; lose weight. Don’t go run out and get a membership to the gym. Start at home with cleaning out your cabinets, getting rid of the junk, and then change your mindset and understand why you want to lose weight. Is it for that party in three months or is it for your health and living better for the rest of your life? Make LIFE GOALS, not yearly resolutions; love yourself and start living. It’s very obvious that life is short and that we must make the best of it, and it starts with being honest with yourself. New year, new thinking, new you. Love yourself and be honest; make that your New Year’s Resolution.

I hope this can help you.

PEACE & BLESSINGS FAMILY

“If the Negro is not careful he will drink in all the poison of modern civilizaAon and die from the effects of it.”

Marcus Garvey Wri$en by, Donald A. Nicely (www.facebook.com/poorpeoplemove)

Consider the times in which Marcus Garvey lived, 1887 to 1940. Ponder for a moment what Mr. Garvey may have been referring to in this quote. Then, imagine a leader in your community reciting these words in a speech today, as if for the 3irst time. What do you think that speaker would be referencing?

I believe this quote would be highlighting many of the same poisons Marcus Garvey was likely speaking about (sex, drugs, alcohol, violence). Let me be clear; the majority of poisons present in modern society, and in earlier days, have been created and spread through our nation and other countries at the hands of white men. Many have unwittingly picked up the torch, but let there be no doubt; if the white man wanted to diminish the in3luence of these toxins, the white man would 3ind a way.

Since the founding of these United States, white American men have corrupted Native Americans, Africans/ African Americans, and many others around the world. The difference between what Garvey was referring to so many years ago and what we see in the world today is that the white man has now corrupted himself. The white man is drinking in his own poison!

Of course, very poor white men and nearly all white women have endured their share of af3liction and have been subjected to the vices that poverty, lack of quality education, and other varied forms of oppression brings. But now, even middle-­‐ and upper-­‐class white men are suffering. More and more white men are using drugs, violence, sex, etc. to numb the pain of life. These devastating facets of life which use to only be a part of poor communities, for the most part, are now creating problems in even some of the most af3luent and better educated communities (which are predominately white).

Look back over the last few years. For the most part, it has been white men from working-­‐ and middle-­‐class families that have instigated so many school shootings, acts of terror on U.S. soil, and other atrocities. Sex. Drugs. Violence. Materialism. Self-­‐Centered Attitudes. The white man has created a world that even he cannot tolerate.

LET’S NETWORK

Let’s Network

www.facebook.com/CreaTIFF.Faces

The Short Story Series

Photography by Shannon D. Photography Jacksonville, FL

Check out our new series the "Candi Ladies" It's sisterhood at its best!! Be there to witness the highs and the lows, but most important, the togetherness.

Who Is Candace Bishop?

It was good to be me. I settled back and smiled at the thought. The only thing that needed my immediate attention was the view of Miami through my office window. As CEO of iCandi Productions, one of the largest production companies in America, and a single mother of two girls I led a busy life. There were very few moments that I could just sit back and enjoy doing nothing.

A knock sounded at the door and I chuckled quietly to myself. I spun my chair around to face the desk. I crossed my legs and folded my hands in my lap, a small smile on my face. I knew I looked relaxed and in charge. It was time to be Candace Bishop, CEO. I called for the person knocking to enter.

My secretary, Charlotte, marched in leading my best friend and vice president Bethany Warde. The look on Bethany’s face was a mixture of anger and concern, which immediately put me on my guard.

“Ms. Warde needed to see you, ma’am.

If there is anything you need, please let me know.” Charlotte stayed by the door while she spoke. Once finished she immediately left, shutting the door firmly behind her. Charlotte was an efficient, no-nonsense kind of person.

She wasn’t nosy and she performed her job above and beyond what was expected of any secretary.

“We’ve got a problem. Someone leaked the information on our charity ball. Eric Marlonson is throwing a ball on the same night and he’s already advertising big names.” Bethany got right to the point. iCandi Productions hosted several charity events every year but the Charity Ball was by far the biggest. All proceeds went to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. This was definitely a problem.

Eric Marlonson was the CEO of Ericson Productions, our largest competitor. He was always attempting to overthrow iCandi. Before iCandi came into existence, Ericson had no competition. It was the production company to sign with. Within the first few years of operation we had managed to become number one. Eric Marlonson was definitely not happy in second place.

“Let’s get everyone into the conference room. It’s definitely time for a brainstorming session. If Marlonson wants to play games, I’ll be more than happy to show him how to win.” I answered.

Several hours later, the brainstorming session was deemed a success. We already had several of the biggest names in the music industry confirmed to perform. Feelers were being put out to see if we could get movie stars and other famous celebrities to make appearances.

Advertising was being moved up and would be out within the week. Ticket prices were reduced so that people on average incomes could afford to attend.

A silent auction was being planned to supplement what we would lose in ticket sales. I could feel the success in the making It was late when I finally managed to leave my office and make my way home. I had taken a break earlier to call home and let the nanny, Ms. Carls, know that I would be late. The girls would already be in bed when I arrived.

A sharp stab of guilt lanced through me at that thought. Even though being CEO of a multi-billion dollar company was a very busy job,

It was late when I finally managed to leave my office and make my way home. I had taken a break earlier to call home and let the nanny, Ms. Carls, know that I would be late. The girls would already be in bed when I arrived. A sharp stab of guilt lanced through me at that thought. Even though being CEO of a multi-billion dollar company was a very busy job, I always made time to be a good mother.

I was normally home in time to eat dinner with the girls and put them to bed. I always got them off to school.

I kept most weekends free to spend quality time with them. It was a difficult balance that cost me hours of sleep and meant I worked twice as hard during the day but was worth any sacrifices I had to make.

Ms. Carls met me at the door, taking my briefcase from me. She was a plump, short woman who always had a smile for everyone. She was kind and always reminded me of a grandmother who knew when she needed to be firm. The girls adored her.

“The girls are sound asleep. I’ve kept dinner warm for you. I’ll set it on the table while you check in on them.” Ms. Carls said. I smiled at her gratefully and headed to the stairs. My home was large but not obstinate. Beautiful but with a lived in quality. A two story gingerbread-style home painted white with black shutters. It was the home I had purchased with my husband and brought my daughters home to. Many people had expected that I would move to something larger when iCandi became successful, but I just couldn’t leave. It was the only place that felt like home.

I entered the first door on the right. The room was decorated in shades of pink and purple. Definitely a room designed for a princess. Everything was neat and orderly, nothing out of place. On the wall opposite the door was a large canopy bed. Fast asleep in it was my eldest daughter, Parris. With her dark hair spread across the pillow she looked exactly like a sleeping princess. At fourteen years old she was well on her way to becoming a well-mannered young lady. I kissed her cheek and adjusted her comforter.

The room across the hall was in complete contrast to Parris’ room. My youngest daughter, Janae, was vibrant and bright. She couldn’t bring herself to choose a favorite color so walking into her room was like walking into a chaotic rainbow. Sports equipment, books, and clothes laid haphazardly around the room. Being twelve she was still in the throes of wanting to play like a boy while trying to be a typical girl. I smiled at the mess which had probably happened in the moments just before bed. Ms. Carls would be after her to clean it up tomorrow after school. I kissed the top of her head, everything else was buried beneath the comforter.

I ate dinner quickly, wanting nothing more than to get into a shower and bed.

I showered quickly, pausing only briefly to glance into the mirror. I knew I was a beautiful woman. Short black hair that I kept styled to perfection, cocoa colored skin, clear brown eyes. My body had curves in all the right places. Sometimes I simply forgot that men appreciated me for my beauty alone. I preferred to be wanted for my mental assets first.

I climbed into bed, then reached over to turn off the bedside lamp.

Before I could I caught a glance of the picture on my nightstand. In it my husband, Jamison, smiled out at me. A handsome man who wore the uniform of the United States Marines proudly. A man who had sacrificed everything for his country. It had been three years since he had been killed in action, dying to save the lives of several of his fellow Marines. I still grieved for him. I could see him in our daughters every day.

Parris had his hazel eyes, Janae had his smile.

I remembered thinking earlier how it was good to be me. Sometimes even those who seemed to have perfect lives had some imperfection hidden away. I threw myself into being a working mother. It had become my existence. I knew one day I would eventually have to remember I was a woman too. I turned the light out, forcing myself into sleep.

Want to Read More Candi Ladies? Come Back Next Month

In Our Angel Hands Thomas Chapman (The Legend) Carlos Jeff & Family Berdie Lewsis “Sista Mama” The Barnes Family Karen Daniels Toria & Family Kevin “Kdaddy” Hicks Joanne Williams Nevaeh Mccoy Phyllis Evans & Family Jose Aldanondo Robin Smith Ann Smith Lillian Smith Cheryl O’Coner Alicia Hearing & Family Matt & Michael Thompson Amber “Big Sexy” Johnson Tila Frost & Family Holly Carrigg & Family Jane Boyles Jennie Mathis Bonita King-Long Zahbria Thomson Junita Bonner Jasson Haynes Catherine Haynes Shimika Haynes iCandi Supporters & Their Families

iCandi Angels R.I.P. William & “Candy” King Kandace Pyles Brycee & Cameron Jeff JP James Romano Anna Brown Jerome Swanson James “Jellybean” House Patricia Kirkland Scott Burrows Sr. John Bruce Gilmore Jr. Julia Ann Hicks LeRoy Morgan Nadene McGowan Reshaud Jackson James Revels Jr. Betty Bailey Sally Rowland Jannie Tubbs Theodore Perry Marcus “Skandal Da Rucus Man” Mitchell

Chocolate Covered Strawberries Ingredients: 16 ounces milk chocolate chips 2 tablespoons shortening 1 pound fresh strawberries with leaves

Preparation: 1. In a double boiler, melt the chocolate and shortening, stirring occasionally until smooth.

Holding them by the toothpicks, dip the strawberries into the chocolate mixture.

2. Insert toothpicks into the tops of the strawberries.

3. Turn the strawberries upside down and insert the toothpick into styrofoam for the chocolate to cool.

PHOTOGRAPHY SPECIAL $85.00 Call Shannon D Photography 904-805-3354

A Word From MsiCandi:

Happy New Year Candi Babies! Thanks for checking out this month’s newsletter. I hope you have let go of all the hurt, resentment, negative people, and negative energy in 2012. This year is all about the positive and bringing in negative people and attitudes might ruin some great possibilities this year so LET THEM GO!! Let’s make this year count. Be Healthy, Be Safe, Be Fabulous!

MsiCandi

Jacksonville Florida STAR DEAL