iCandiLand Dec 2011 Issue

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December2011

Dashing Through

iCandiLand

Featured Articles I Got Your Back Baby God’s Elect Lady A Long Way Home (A Holiday Story) Melissa Howe Jingle Bells, Merry Christmas, Winter Wonderland Shiwanna “Go2Gurl” Chapman Randy Clark (The Man Behind LaGoddess Dollz) Interviewed by MsiCandi Why Women Should Stop Caring What Men Think About Simuel L. Jackson Candi Articles Dear iCandi Questions by You answered by MsiCandi Music Reviews J. Antoinne The Conscious Corner Brotha Insight Family Values Mayo Woody Bucks with Bux Mega“Bux” Williams Fashion by R.E.D. Lady R.E.D. Recipe of the Month [2]

Linda Evans over at Mary Kay has a Holiday Special going on for all of you Candilicious Supporters. 30% OFF! Place your order before 12/15 and get it before Christmas! 30% off special the entire month of December! www.marykay.com/LindaEvans

Happy Birthday to Our December Candi Canes Janice Bowden Dec 1 Malik George Martae Smith 2 Georgia Dungey Dec 3 iWill Dec 4 Maria Williams Dec 4 Brandon Rutherford Dec 8 Al Crawford Dec 10 Cannon Hopey Dec 10 Laticia Hobbs Dec 10

Randall Latko Dec 15 Shiwanna Dec 16 Donita Colvin Dec 23 Paula Foster Dec 24 Grynhousz Dec 25 Angela Edwards Dec 25 Keonnah Baker Dec 28 Kevin “KDaddy� Hicks Dec 30 Phatt Patt Porter De 31

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D

ear iCandi, There are some breaking points and for me personally that would be it. I am not a selfish person but when it comes to my man, I DON’T SHARE!! And I wouldn’t want a man that would be willing to share me. Some things are off limits. Besides, with all the diseases and unplanned pregnancies out here, anything is bound to happen. Nah, I wouldn’t accept those terms. If he really has an itch, maybe you should let him scratch it on his own while you move on. Regardless of what you decide. It’s your decision so really think about it and as always be safe.

How would you handle your mate giving you dumb a** presents on Christmas (even tho the holiday is much more than a gift lol)? ~Mary~ Hey Mary!

You are so right! The holidays are much more than a gift. To me it’s about family and giving and sharing special moments. I just remember all that Jesus has done for me and celebrating his birthday by giving to gothers. Since becoming a mother, I don’t even expect gifts anymore (maybe being single has a lot to do with that lol). But I guess it really depends on the situation. If someone that I was involved with decided to give me something for Christmas that was REALLY a gift for themselves (ex: seasons tickets to some sporting event, or some type or a gift certificate to a paintball fighting place) I would kindly say thank you and make sure they didn’t benefit from the gift. I’d take different homegirls to the games or my teenage cousin to the paintball place. That will show them!! lol

MsiCandi

MsiCandi

D

ear iCandi,

My boyfriend of two years is beginning to get the “itch” and suggested that we try an open relationship. When I asked why not just break up he said he loves me and doesn’t want to loose me but he just wants to have sex with other people.

After picking my ego completely off the ground I walked away, and haven’t talked to him in a week.

He’s been calling and leaving messages nonstop.

How do you feel about being in an open relationship? Do you think it’s something that I should consider?

LaShay (Maryland) Hey LaShay!

Girl you have one h*ll of a situation here. It’s hard to answer questions like this because we are two different people and what works for one, might not work for another. You asking this question lets me know that you are uncomfortable with what he’s suggesting. My advice for this would be, if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it. It’s okay to say no.

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Challenge 1 Winner

Dominique “DW” Whyte [5]

What Would You Do

If you found out that your mate gave you a STOLEN gift, that they personally stole themselves for the holidays?

!1 Depends on what it is.

2 Depends on if we return it how much backlash will there be?

3 If it's cash in a bag with no dye pack or transponder? Put it towards our wedding and never speak of it again! ~Aaron Mingo~

I actually received a gift like that and took it and shook my head and said thank you... ~Kiara Woody~

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Kenyatta Gibson Give them a list! LOL! IJK Sylvan Edwards Seeing as though I wouldn't want to get caught up in the whole "Receiving Stolen Property" thing, I might just give it back and act like I don't know anything. I would wonder why they stole it though.

@VinoCarlion I'm not sure what I would say lol

K Daddy My mate would then become my ex!

@Kissezzz513 I would be angry...cuz I could go to jail for receiving that "hot" merchandise...

Brandi Stephens "Awwww baby, im glad u didnt get caught" j/p LMAO!

@Devanrmoni LMAO FIRST . WHAT WAS THE GIFT SECOND SMH THEN ACKNOWLEDGE U GOT A THIEF

Chris Ward its the thought that counts

@fliporican1 I would def not accept it and insist he returns it @Its_Murden take it and hope no one find out @tayalejandro Cant accept! @NickAtNike as long as its something that can't be tracked... We good lol

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Family Values

We all want the perfect woman. We want her to have the perfect body. She needs to be talented; very talented, if you know what I mean. She needs to look delicious. We want them to cater to our needs and our wants. We like a clean house and we want the children to be well taken care of and you know we want to eat.

That was the dream; now lets talk reality. Really if we were to attach a price to all these qualities no man would ever be able to afford it. But the real question is what are we as men willing to bring to the table? Yeah, I know you are “bringing home the bacon,” but what else?

I know I speak for many when I say having a family of my own is one of the most pleasurable things that I have ever had. Even when I was a child I always knew I wanted a family of my own and imagined how it would be. We would have a big house with a nice fence. We would have a dog and there would never be any rainy days and the kids would play outside every day in the nice warm sunshine, in their nice custom treehouse. The wife and I would watch from the nearby deck with permanent smiles on our faces while sipping on freshly squeezed lemonade and we would live happily ever after. Then I grew up and started a family.

Being a husband and a father entails a lot more than just “bringing home the bacon.” Understanding is going to be key. The strength of a man is drawn from his ability to understand the different dynamics of the family and not only be able to support and protect the family financially but also emotionally. There is no magic milk that you can drink or anything like that. But I do know that putting God in his rightful place, which is the first; always makes things fall into place.

By putting God first in your life and your relationship, you not only become a man or a husband or a father.

But you become the man, husband and father that God wants you to be. If you are what God wants you to be then you will automatically be more than your wife and children could ever need you to be. It is important to remember that it’s not the finances and the big homes and fancy cars that make a family great. It is the man who knows his role and embraces the responsibilities of life by making it look easy as he applies the Godgiven grace to be the man that he has been called to be.

I will say that after a few years of trying we have managed to accomplish some of the things that I dreamed of as a child. However they did not come as easily as they did in my dreams. You see, I forgot to factor in cost, maturity, responsibility and experience.

Dreams are very deceiving because they lack reality.

This is the problem that I feel most people make when they jump into relationships and start families.

#MayGodBlessYourLife

Contrary to what you dream managing a relationship, as we all know is not the easiest thing to do so try adding children, finances and emotions to the equation.

That’s why it is important for everyone to know his or her role. As boys we are taught to be men and as little girls, females are groomed to be women. But are we taught or groomed to be husbands and fathers or wives and mothers? How to manage a family, how to be the protector and provider that we as men have been called to be? Although most women are natural nurturers, not all are able to tap into that natural instinct without a little guidance.

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iCandi Radio December Schedule Dates

Event

Host

Topic

Time (est)

Dec 1

Let’s Talk Blessings of Beauty

Ashley & Shanna

Teen Parents

8-9:00 pm

Dec 2

iCandi After Dark

MsiCandi & The Crew

Dec 4

The Insightful Hour

Brotha Insight & Family

Real Meaning Of Holidays

6-8:00 pm

Dec 5

The Whole D*mn Show

Gryndhousz

Interview with 112’s Daron Jones

6- 7:30 pm

Dec 6

Keep it 100

Pastor Vic

Has Herman Cain lost his chances as being President?

8-9:00 pm

Dec 6

New R&B

J. Antoinne

New R&B MUSIC (Mainstream & Indie)

9:00-10:00 pm

Dec 7

Late Night with Lateefah

Lateefah & Bishop

The Power of Sex

11:00-12:00am

Dec 8

Throwback Thursday

MsiCandi & Go2Gurl

Motown Christmas

8-9:00 pm

Dec 9

iCandi After Dark

MsiCandi & The Crew

“The Step-monster” (Stepparenting)

10-12:00 am

Dec 11

The Insightful Hour

Brotha Insight & Family

Is Reality TV Reality

6-8:00 pm

Dec 12

The Whole D*mn Show

Gryndhousz

WILDCARD SHOW WITH RANDOM TOPICS

6- 7:30 pm

Dec 13

Keep it 100

Pastor Vic

should churches do automatic tithing withdrawals

8-9:00 pm

Dec 13

New R&B

J. Antoinne

New R&B MUSIC (Mainstream & Indie)

9:00-10:00 pm

Dec 14

Late Night with Lateefah

Lateefah & Bishop

Single Moms & Relationships

11:00-12:00am

Dec 15

Let’s Talk Blessings of Beauty

Ashley & Shanna

What Inner Beauty Means To You (A Call in Show)

8-9:00 pm

Dec 16

iCandi After Dark

MsiCandi & The Crew

Dating Dos & Don’ts

10-12:00 am

Dec 18

The Insightful Hour

Brotha Insight & Family

Do You Support Black Business Owners

6-8:00 pm

Dec 19

The Whole D*mn Show

Gryndhousz

WILDCARD SHOW WITH RANDOM TOPICS

6- 7:30 pm

Dec 20

Keep it 100

Pastor Vic

Should Christians celebrate Christmas

8-9:00 pm

Dec 20

New R&B

J. Antoinne

New R&B MUSIC (Mainstream & Indie)

9:00-10:00 pm

Dec 21

Late Night with Lateefah

Lateefah & Bishop

How Important is Sexual Compatibility?

11:00-12:00am

Dec 22

Throwback Thursday

R&B Chhristmas Favorites

8-9:00 pm

Dec 23

iCandi After Dark

“SlumLords” Take care of your property!!

10-12:00 am

Dec 25

W I

S

H

I

N

G

Y

LIARS!! YOU AINT GOT TO LIE CRAIG!!

MsiCandi & The Crew O

U

A

M

E

R

R

Y

C

H

R

I

S

T

M

A

10-12:00 am

S

Dec 26

The Whole D*mn Show

Gryndhousz

WILDCARD SHOW WITH RANDOM TOPICS

6- 7:30 pm

Dec 27

Keep it 100

Pastor Vic

YOU CHOOSE THE TOPIC! OUR LISTENERS GETS INVOLVED

8-9:00 pm

Dec 27

New R&B

DJ D-Lo

New R&B MUSIC (Mainstream & Indie)

9:00-10:00 pm

Dec 28

Late Night with Lateefah

Lateefah & Bishop

Infidelity

11:00-12:00am

Dec 29

Let’s Talk Blessings of Beauty

Ashley & Shanna

Moving on & Letting Go

8-9:00 pm

Dec 30

iCandi After Dark

MsiCandi & The [9]Crew

HOT TOPIC SHOW! (What Cha Want to Talk About)

10-12:00 am

Music Reviews with J. Antoinne mas, so, instead st ri h C of th on m ms urse the me Christmas albu December is of co so e ar e er h s, review l of my usual music course, we're al f O . to in sp le tt a li let's that you can give assic albums, but cl d an ry da n ge le rd but familiar with the u may not have hea yo at th s m bu sts. al Christmas playli talk about some ur yo to d de ad ould be should. These sh

Ledisi - It's Christmas Ledisi is known for her incredible range and amazing vocal acrobatics, so it's no surprise that she'd embody the same on a Christmas album. What is a surprise, however, is how easily this album can become a favorite even throughout the year. She opens with an interpolation of "Go Tell It On the Mountain" entitled "I'll Go", a classic opener, and then gets the Christmas party started with "Children Go Where I Send Thee", and continues it with "Be There For Christmas". Of course, there are a couple well-polished classics like her take on "Silent Night" and "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas", and takes "Give Love On Christmas Day" to new dimensions. There are even a couple soulful new songs like "This Christmas (Could Be the One)" and the effervescent title track. Of course, with Ledisi, nothing less than soul should be expected and she does NOT disappoint.

Alexander O'Neal - My Gift To You Alexander O'Neal was one of the preeminent vocalists of the R&B world back in the late 80s and early 90s, but many people completely slept on his Christmas album. This album is a classic in its own right, with O'Neal tenor effortlessly gliding over classic Christmas songs and giving you new songs that are worthy of an addition to your musical rolodex. The timeless and classic remake of "This Christmas" is the closest to Donny Hathaway's original version without trying to sound exactly like it.

Plus, O'Neal's tenor is perfect and brings a classic tinge to "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire), with R&B-themed ad-libs in the backgrounds. "Winter Wonderland" colors O'Neal as the black Fred Astaire, whereas "Remember Why (It's Christmas)" is classic 90s R&B-infused Christmas music, and the title track opens the CD and takes it home in style. This CD may seem dated, but it's worth it.

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Kelly Price - One Family: A Christmas Album Kelly is a sanger. Not a cutesy little singer that sings those Broadway songs, but a sanger that takes it to church each time she sings, and here isn't anything different. She takes some of the classic songs to church without throwing the Bible at you while still keeping that soul and R&B flavor that lets you know she's about her business. She gets funky with it with "Go Tell It", and even throws in different elements of music in "XMas Medley", where she effortlessly blends many classics into one song.

Priceless. Not to be outdone is her take on "O Come All Ye Faithful" which features a plethora of artists that cross different genres, but her soulful voice takes over on songs like "Ave Maria" and "What Child Is This", and she takes it home (literally and figuratively) with the closing "Messiah Has Come".

This is one Christmas album that truly embodies the true spirit of Christmas.

Take 6 - He Is Christmas The vocal sextet has always been known for its crisp harmonies and ode to classic jazz and doo-wop harmonies, so this album is absolutely right in line with anything else released by them. However, this is probably one of the truest to form Christmas albums around. No gimmickry, no mainstream appeal, and no-nonsense, this album tells you the real meaning of Christmas.

Their spin on the classic "Silent Night" is nothing short of a masterpiece, as is their take on "O Come All Ye Faithful" with its key changes and succinct harmony. The soul of "Sweet Little Jesus Boy" and "The Little Drummer Boy" both shine and shine again, and "'Twas the Night" is a fun little ditty that both adults and children should like. This album has timeless appeal and should definitely not be ignored.

Classic Albums You Should NOT Do Without (In No Particular Order) Boyz II Men - Christmas Interpretations Mariah Carey - Merry Christmas The Temptations - Give Love At Christmas Stevie Wonder - Someday At Christmas The Jackson 5 - Jackson 5 Christmas Album Patti Labelle - This Christmas

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$$ BUCKS with BUX $$

Holiday Traditions on a Budget Meghan “Bux” Williams is currently the Marketing Coordination for iCandi Productions. She graduated from the College of Mount St. Joseph in 2006 with a degree in business marketing. She has been with iCandi since the very beginning.

I know what you’re thinking; Thanksgiving just passed and I haven’t started the rest of my holiday shopping.

Well I just have a few tips to help you all get through the last of the holiday season. In almost every tradition gift exchange is one of the major things that take place. It is okay to buy some things, but sometimes it is the thought that counts. Hand-making some of your gifts can not only save you money but it can be more personal and from the heart. Another great idea that I enjoy is volunteering to the needy instead of giving exchanging gifts. The great thing about this is not only does it save money but it gives the family a sense of responsibility. It will teach your family more than any present will. But for those of you who absolutely prefer to go out and buy stuff, stick to your lists and keep the credit cards at home. Stay away from the credit card offers in the store and remember: quality over quantity.

Give something that has meaning over another item that somebody will not use. ‘Tis the season to be jolly; from my iCandi family to yours HAPPY HOLIDAYS! [12]

What Is Kwanzaa?

Written by: BROTHA INSIGHT The name Kwanzaa derives from the Swahili phrase matunda ya kwanza, meaning “first fruits of the harvest.” This holiday is celebrated from December 26 to January 1. It features acFviFes such as lighFng seven candles and culminates in a feast and giG‐giving. It was created by Maulana Karenga and was first celebrated in 1966 Its intent was to try and encourage Africans living in America and around the world to embrace their true culture instead of everyone else’s. Kwanzaa is founded on seven principals, and each day one of the principals is All seven are great principals to follow and to abide celebrated. These principals are: by. Families celebraFng Kwanzaa decorate their households with objects of art; colorful African cloth I. Umoja (Unity): To strive for and to maintain unity in the such as kente, especially the wearing of kaGans by family, community, naFon, and race. women; and fresh fruits that represent African idealism. It is customary to include children in II. Kujichagulia (Self‐DeterminaFon): To define ourselves, Kwanzaa ceremonies and to give respect and name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for graFtude to ancestors. LibaFons are shared, generally ourselves stand up with a common chalice, Kikombe cha Umoja, passed around to all celebrants. Is this a holiday you already III. Ujima (CollecFve Work and Responsibility): To build celebrate? If not, is it one you can see yourself and maintain our community together and make our adopFng? I ask because a lot of blacks in this country brothers' and sisters' problems our problems, and to are starFng to adopt this holiday (personally, I don’t solve them together. celebrate any holidays whatsoever...that is for a totally different arFcle). I must say if you’re going to IV. Ujamaa (family): The belief in family and general celebrate any holiday, at least make sure it matches communal understanding. up with your culture and you see a reflecFon of you or your ancestors in it. Kwanzaa is sFll a very young V. Nia (Purpose): To make our collecFve vocaFon the holiday but has gained a lot of momentum here in the building and developing of our community in order to last few years. I hope you learned something you may restore our people to their tradiFonal greatness. not have already known, and whether you choose to celebrate this holiday or not. If we can follow these VI. Kuumba (CreaFvity): To do always as much as we can, seven principals we as a people would be in a much in the way we can, in order to leave our community more be`er condiFon. This is your man Brotha Insight and I beauFful and beneficial than we inherited it. hope this arFcle finds you all doing well.

PEACE & BLESSINGS FAMILY. VII. Imani (Faith): To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

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The Long Way Home......

A Holiday Story Written by Melissa Howe

Mary Williams paced uneasily beside the small incubator where her three month old son restlessly slept. He had cried himself to sleep not moments before. Mary felt helpless as she stopped to look down on him. He had been running a fever most of the day. Nothing she did had broken it. When it had spiked even higher she had brought him to the emergency room, leaving her husband, Michael, at home with their two year old son, James.

She had waited over an hour in the overcrowded waiting room before being brought back to this small room. The nurse had quickly taken Aaron's vitals before leaving the room with the promise that the doctor would be in shortly. Mary had spent the time praying that God would heal her son quickly.

"Mrs. Williams?" The nurse stuck her head into the room. Mary turned to her hoping to see the doctor with her. She was disappointed.

"Yes?" Mary heard the note of irritation in her voice and sent a silent prayer to God to send her strength and the ability to remain calm.

"There's been a small problem with your insurance card. Could you step down the hall with me?" The nurse kept her voice low so she wouldn't wake Aaron.

"Aaron is sleeping. I don't want to wake him." Mary answered. Insurance cards were the least of her worries.

"He'll be fine here. It'll only take a moment." The nurse's polite demeanor nearly gave way to irritation. It had been a long and busy shift. She wanted to finish her paperwork and head home.

Mary hesitated for a moment before following the nurse. She had to remind herself that she was only two doors away. She answered all of the nurse's questions about her insurance, discovering the "problem" was nothing more than a typo in the computer. Mary hurried back to Aaron's room, nearly running into the doctor at the door.

"Mrs. Williams?" The doctor smiled kindly at her. He knew how frazzled mothers could be when their children were sick.

"Yes. Aaron's right in here. He's been running a fever all day. Nothing will break it. And it's gone up." Mary hurried into the room, talking over her shoulder to the doctor as he followed her. She came to an abrupt halt and her voice trailed off when she reached the incubator. It was empty.

Mary held tightly to Michael's hand as they sat in the security office at the hospital. Their neighbor had agreed to watch James. Aaron had been missing for little more than two hours. The police had been called. A thorough search of the hospital had not found him.

The head of hospital security had been reviewing the security cameras. Michael and Mary watched as a woman entered the room just seconds after Mary followed the nurse out. She left the room with Aaron. Cameras followed her through the hospital, watching her leave just minutes before security locked the doors.

"I never should have left him. I should have stayed with him." Mary whispered, tears pouring down her face. Michael pulled her into his arms but said nothing. He had torn through the hospital screaming his son's name. Now he sat in a state of shock.

"One of the nurses recognized the woman as Renae Sams. Her son died several hours before your son disappeared. They were roughly the same age." The detective in charge spoke matter-of-factly. With four children of his own at home he could only imagine their panic.

"Have you found her?" Michael asked, tightening his hold on Mary. Her thin shoulders shook with silent sobs.

"No. We have all of the information she provided to the hospital. An officer is watching the address she provided. We're going to get her description into the media as soon as possible. If you're willing we would like you to make a statement. Maybe your plea can convince her to turn herself in." The detective answered.

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Mary looked up at Michael with tear filled eyes. He knew she was going to blame herself, that nothing he could say or do would ease her guilt over leaving Aaron alone.

"We'll do it." He answered.

An hour later Mary and Michael posed on the steps in front of the hospital. Michael held a sobbing Mary to keep her on her feet.

Silent tears poured down his face. Camera crews stood waiting for him to speak.

"At 8:30 this evening a woman named Renae Sam's took my son from his hospital room. Aaron is only three months old and is very sick. Renae if you're watching this, my wife and I ask you to please return our son. We understand why you took him. We know you are grieving. We are praying for you and will be happy to help you anyway we can. All we want is our son back safely.

If anyone knows where Renae is, please help us find her." Michael's voice cracked. As the detective stepped into view carrying enlarged photos of Renae and Aaron, Michael led Mary back into the hospital.

Fourteen years later...

Before leaving the house Mary stopped to glance at the pictures lining her mantel. Pictures that depicted what most would describe as a happy family. A boy in different stages of growth smiling at the camera with his parents. But at the end was a single picture of a three month old. A son who had been taken and never found.

It had taken a near divorce and her oldest son nearly being expelled from elementary school for Mary to finally find the strength to carry on with her life. She had quit her job to spend every waking moment searching for Aaron. She had neglected James, leaving him in the care of neighbors. She had stopped going to church, angry that God had allowed this to happen. When Michael had sought comfort from God she turned from him as well.

Mary remembered the day the principal had called her to the school because James had gotten into yet another fight. She finally saw the anger and fear her son was holding onto. Holding onto his because she couldn't let go of hers. On the way home she passed the church. Without even deciding to she had pulled in. The pastor had met her at the door. Through God she had found the strength to start piecing her shattered life back together.

Not every day was perfect and Mary would never give up hope of finding Aaron, but their life did find more happy moments than sad now. Mary took a deep breath and left the house to meet her friend for lunch.

"When I became a social worker I really thought I would make a difference every day." Krystal sighed before sipping her drink. Mary noted the dark circles under her eyes and the sadness that seemed etched into her beautiful face.

"And you're finding that's not the case?" Mary asked.

"Not the case at all. I was put in charge of a fourteen year old boy named Clarence Martin. I'm having a hard time placing him because of his background. His mother was a drug addict. She changed boyfriends like underwear. Nearly all of them beat Clarence and he's definitely undernourished. No one wants to keep him long because they're afraid he's going to follow in his mother's footsteps." Krystal answered. She had firm belief that all children could be decent and well behaved if given half a chance.

"You don't believe he will?" Mary knew her friend cared deeply about all of the children placed in her care.

"No. You should see him, Mary. This kid has better manners than the Brady Bunch. He's very shy and quiet. He's a good kid who's been hurt his entire life. He's afraid to open up because he's never had anyone who's really cared about him before. He just needs a chance." Krystal stared thoughtfully at Mary as she spoke. Mary began to feel her friend was hatching a plan she wouldn't like.

"You'll find someone. You always do." Mary focused on her salad.

"You're right. I think you would be perfect for him." Krystal said. Mary nearly choked on the bite of lettuce she had just taken.

"What?!" Mary sputtered as soon as she was able to speak.

"Come on, Mary. I know what it was like for you when Aaron went missing. You have a lot of love stored up. It's time you gave some of it away." Krystal reached across the table to take Mary's hand. Concern for her friend filled her eyes. Mary knew that Krystal was only trying to be kind but pain welled up inside her as the memories of Aaron slammed to the surface of her mind.

"No. I have to go." Mary stood so quickly she knocked her chair over. She heard Krystal calling her name but she didn't stop running.

When Mary arrived home she couldn't remember having driven at all. She sat in the car and sobbed until the tears wouldn't come anymore. When she felt in control of herself she went inside. The first thing she saw as she shut the door was the picture of Aaron.

Mary picked up the picture, staring down at the little boy she had barely gotten to know. Every night she prayed that where ever he was, he was surrounded by people who loved him. Krystal had been right. She did have alot of love stored up inside of her. She wanted to hug her son, make sure he knew he was loved. Yet when she was presented with the opportunity to do what she prayed someone was doing for her son she ran.

The front door opened and Michael walked in. When he saw his wife staring at the picture of their missing son, he froze. Mary looked up at him and smiled.

(To Be Continued.......)

[15]

I Got Your Back Baby!

God’s Elect Lady Often times when women begin the dating process, we have a list of all these things that we are seeking in our lifelong mate. These things can range from a guy that has morals, will respect her, support her dreams and aspirations, will love her for who she is, and more importantly he will be able to provide for her and the family. These are all great qualities to look for and definitely should not be overlooked during the dating process. But what happens when that mate can no longer provide or, due to him being an entrepreneur, he is experiencing a slow month or season? Do you leave him, down him, judge him, or do you stand by his side and let him know that you have his back?

Many times women will either run and seek the provision in someone else or if they stay, they will begin to belittle the one that as long as the finances were consistent, he was placed on a pedestal, but now that he is not where he was, he is everything under the sun except a Child of God. This is not a good look for you as the woman. Trust me when I say that this is NOT the move that you want to make.

When you begin to mature into womanhood, because age does not make you a woman, you will realize that as Proverbs 15:1 states, "A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger."

This means that the moment you allow the enemy to attack your mind and cause you to turn against the man that has been there for you through thick and thin, you (yes you, the woman) causes dysfunction in the home! That is exactly what the enemy wants, to see God's union destroyed! Do not allow this to be you!

Remember that Proverbs 18:21 tells us that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat of the fruit thereof.”

The same way you spoke POWER and AUTHORITY into him when times were good, you must continue to do the same when his dry season comes upon the house! He needs to know that without a shadow of doubt, you have HIS BACK at all costs. He needs to know that no matter what you experience as a couple, you will stand tall and not give up! He needs to be assured that the same way he held you up, you will do the same!

It is time out for women being selfish and self-centered. Some are so caught up in themselves, that when God has blessed you with an AWESOME vessel, you run him off because it is all about you.

Let's stop this and become that Titus 2:3-5 which says, "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children...that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Do not allow another day to go by and you are all about yourself. Begin to show that man that you have his back the same way that he has yours. Be the example to those around you! Let's show them that we may not have had it together yesterday, but today we are on our GROWN WOMAN SWAG!!!

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To Read More of God's Elect Lady’s work, check out her blog http://dawnofday11.blogspot.com

Jingle Bells

Merry Christmas Winter Wonderland Written by: Shiwannna “Go2Gurl” Chapman

Here we are yet again: CHRISTMAS time, when JESUS was born. Please remember the meaning of Christmas; it’s not about the gifts, or the stress, the food or all the other things. It’s about the birth of MY SAVIOR. Ms Icandi asked me to make a list of Christmas songs for you guys. That’s pretty hard because there are just so many, but here is a list of Christmas songs or remakes/versions that maybe you guys have never heard. So if you have heard some songs on my list, I’m proud of you, and if not then give a listen and drop me a comment on Facebook telling me what you think.

1. LEDISI - Children Go Where I Send Thee 2. TONI BRAXTON - Christmas in Jamaica 3. STEVIE WONDER - One Little Christmas Tree 4. CHANTE MOORE - Christmas Morn 5. CARLA THOMAS - Ghee Whiz It’s Christmas 6. R. KELLY - Merry Christmas 7. SISQO - Perfect Christmas 8. B.B. KING - Back Door Santa 9. LUDACRIS - Ludacrismas 10. KANYE WEST - Christmas In Harlem 11. QUAD CITY DJS - What You Want for Christmas 12. YING YANG TWINS- Deck da Club Go to YouTube, do a search, give them a listen, and let me know what you music heads think. I’ve never heard some but I enjoyed them. Have a great holiday season and ~beBLESSED~ YA go2gurl SHI

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Randy Clark The Man Behind LaGoddess Dollz

MsiCandi: Randy! Thank you so much for agreeing to give me this interview on such short notice.

Randy: You're so welcome and thank you for interviewing me.

MsiCandi: When I first met you back in 2006, you were just starting up LaGoddess Dollz. What inspired you to start the company?

Randy: Well, beauty; the beauty of a woman or should I say to enhance the beauty of a woman. I've been doing hair since 1996 looking, learning by some the best hairstylists Jacksonville had to offer at that time like Ann the Up-Do Queen, Bernard B., Robert Channel, Big Mike, Lonnie Lamar, Kim Truitt and many, many more. I put them all together and came up with my talent with God's help as well. (Laughs) MsiCandi: With LaGoddess Dollz, what all do you hope to achieve? What are your long-term plans for the company?

Randy: Longevity, to be another black company out of Jacksonville to make it big but with fashion, eye candy, hair, makeup, everything LaGoddess.

Msicandi: I know you had a background with hair and I now see that you are a photographer as well. Do you plan to add (or have you already added) any more skills to your resume?

Randy:Wow Ms. iCandi you really know me. “GRIND MODE” baby, motivation. (Laughs) But all jokes aside, I edit all my pictures, I pick the clothing, the location, I do the hair, and sometimes makeup, but I have a great staff that I work with.

MsiCandi: Starting your own business can be challenging at times. During this journey with LaGoddess Dollz, what lessons have you learned as a entrepreneur?

Randy: Patience! It takes a lot of patience and staying focused on the goal! And keeping God first!

MsiCandi: What projects are coming up for LaGoddess Dollz?

Randy: Ooh you got to keep looking out. Go to Facebook.com/LaGoddess and stay up-to-date on what's going on with us. There’s something really, really big for 2012.

MsiCandi: When can my team, my iCandi supporters, and I expect a collaboration between iCandi Productions and LaGoddess Dollz?

Randy: Whenever you’re ready! You know I love you so whenever you’re ready. I definitely want to support you because you're supporting us and I thank you so much!

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http://www.facebook.com/laGoddess @LaGoddessDollz [19]

In Our Angel Hands Thomas Chapman (The Legend) Carlos Jeff & Family Berdie Lewsis “Sista Mama” The Barnes Family Karen Daniels Toria & Family Kevin “Kdaddy” Hicks Joanne Williams Nevaeh Mccoy Phyllis Evans & Family Jose Aldanondo Robin Smith Ann Smith Lillian Smith Cheryl O’Coner Alicia Hearing & Family Matt & Michael Thompson Amber “Big Sexy” Johnson Tila Frost & Family Holly Carrigg & Family Jane Boyles Jennie Mathis Zahbria Thomson Junita Bonner

All of the iCandi Supporters & Their Families If you yourself are in need or you know someone in need of Prayer email us a icandipro@gmail.com We will add the name to next month’s e-newsletter.

Blessings to you all! ~MsiCandi~

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iCandi Angels R.I.P. William & “Candy” King Kandace Pyles Brycee & Cameron Jeff JP James Romano Anna Brown Jerome Swanson James “Jellybean” House Patricia Kirkland Scott Burrows Sr. John Bruce Gilmore Jr. LeRoy Morgan Nadene McGowan Reshaud Jackson James Revels Jr. Sally Rowland Jannie Tubbs

Why Women Should Stop Caring What Men Think About Written By Simuel L. Jackson

I was doing my normal stroll online for hot topics and came across this article from Simuel L Jackson. Although direct, this article has me doing some thinking. What are your thoughts?

MsiCandi Women value men’s opinions. I know. That’s a no sh*t Sherlock. It’s also the reason that your favorite relationship blogs thrive in this niche. If a man wants to travel the path of least resistance to internet stardom, he should start a relationship blog. Why? Because there will always be women on the internet searching for answers as to why he didn’t call, why he didn’t stay the night, why wasn’t she good enough, why he seems so emotionally unavailable, why he just won’t stop f*cking Boomqueesha on the side, why he always finishes right before she does, and how to keep hope alive with someone that doesn’t love you.

Being a Single Black Male is about more than sex, relationships, and marriage. The perspective we share here is primarily about those topics because that’s the field we’ve chosen to play on and we’re all interested in sharing our perspective on stuff. I mean, how is a chick to bag the man of her dreams without knowing how that man thinks via the lens of someone she’ll most likely never meet that’s also not that man? How is a woman to understand why her last situation turned into an arrangement she didn’t verbally agree to without seeking a man’s thoughts on what she could have done differently, or things that he’s realized over the years as he’s courted, dated, and eventually signed away a small part of his soul through the rite of marriage? How does she become his “one?” Women spend a lot of time thinking, talking, and borderline obsessing about men and their minds, but here’s the rub…

It doesn’t take much work at all. If a dude is single, decent looking, showers, and brushes his teeth, he can probably line up buns within 30 minutes to 48 hours. And once he has secured the beats, his mind is right back to whatever he was doing before he sent the message or made that call — most likely working, playing xbox, kicking it with his girl the fellas, handling fitness, and/or genuinely and generally improving his predicament.. He’s not scouring the internet for tips on how to find the woman of his dreams. He’s figuring out how to stay on good terms with her until he decides his life is where he wants it to be. As long as he’s striving for that last part, everything with women will naturally follow.

So yes, as male relationship bloggers and commenters, we’ll write posts that hit home and make you think. On certain days you’ll walk away feeling warm, fuzzy, and full of hope. On While you’re reading about us, thinking about us, and talking other days, you’ll hate us or want your (next) man to be more about us, we’re most likely not reading, thinking, or talking like one of us. And we’ll even offer some truly helpful advice about you. that can be universally or specifically applied. But even with all that, please remember that most of our time is spent Like I mentioned above, being a Single Black Male is about thinking about something other than sex and relationships, more than sex and relationships. Being a Black Male of any aka you. No pinkies relationship status is about more than sex and relationships.

And quite frankly, we spend the majority of our time thinking If you really want to know why your man or potential Booli and focusing on something more. That is, if we’re about some Lama is acting a certain way, ask him directly. If you’re tired sh*t. of wasting time with men that won’t commit, then have a conversation up front with the ones you meet and stop letting The obvious rebuttal is that single men are always chasing the sh*t slide — literally or figuratively — because you don’t have cat, looking at model shots thinking of the cat, or finding new the confidence to accept that the man you’re so attracted to and creative ways to satisfy the cat. My response to that is a may not be the one for you at this time, and it might be a simple question: while before someone else comes along. Instead of worrying about why you weren’t good enough or worth it, work on How much time do you think it takes us to look at a few making yourself so incredibly worth it, that anybody who images or send a few text messages to line up some gushy turns you down will admit that the biggest mistake of their life for the night or for the weekend then go back to what we was passing up on a chance with you. were doing? …The time it takes to buy condoms doesn’t count.

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To Read This article in its entirety go to: http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/10/13/ what-men-really-think-about

Challenge 2 Winner

Dominique “Hazel” Davis [22]

RECIPE OF THE MONTH Holiday Mimosa

Sparkling Punch Ingredients

Ingredients

2 lemons 3 large oranges 1 (6 ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate 1 liter club soda 2 (750 milliliter) bottles sparkling apple cider 1 tablespoon white sugar 2 trays ice cubes

1/4 cup orange liqueur (such as Grand Marnier®) 2 tablespoons white sugar 1 cup orange juice 1 (750 milliliter) bottle brut champagne, chilled

Directions: 1.

Directions: Thinly slice the lemons and the oranges and place in a large punch bowl. Pour in the thawed lemonade.

Gently stir in the club soda and the sparkling apple cider. Add sugar to taste. Add ice.

2.

Pour the orange liqueur in a shallow bowl; put the sugar in a saucer. Dip just the rims of 6 glasses in the orange liqueur and then in the sugar to form a thin sugared rim.

Divide remaining orange liqueur and orange juice among the 6 prepared glasses. Top with champagne. Serve immediately.

A Word From MsiCandi:

It’s December and it’s my favorite time of the year! I love the spirit of Christmas! I love giving back and the whole purpose of this holiday. I know you all will be busy this month and I thank you for taking the time out to throw some iCandi in your life. Next year we have a few BIG surprises for you so keep watching and remember to be iCandilicious!

MsiCandi [23]