To My Younger Self - Tala Flayhan

WO1 RK ONE

Y M O T YOUNGER SELF

- TALA FLAYHAN

TO MY YOUNGER SELF

Tala is an aspiring writer. She spent most of her childhood writing and therefore developed this talent, which turned into a passion. When she was young, Tala used to write letters to her future self. In this piece, she decided to finally write her younger self back.

My sky lost its color, my sun lost its light. All my flowers are dead, and the moon fails to light up my night. Every flake of snow has melted, my breeze doesn’t flow as smooth. Not only my tears are drowning me, now the rain does that too. My trees are breathing backwards, my ground is cracking up. My fire doesn’t burn anymore, and my cold heart has frozen up. My walls are stronger than ever, yet they fail to build me a home.

My guards keep me safe but they never learned that they mostly need to protect me when I’m alone. I’m starting to get used to it but I don't want to adapt. I want to provide myself with all the comfort that I now lack. I want to lift my soul up again, I want to raise my self esteem. But I feel like I lost my soul to pain, and my hopes are nothing but a dream. A purpose, a desire, a major goal to achieve. But just like you now, those are hands of help I can’t seem to reach.

TO MY YOUNGER SELF

Tala is an aspiring writer. She spent most of her childhood writing and therefore developed this talent, which turned into a passion. When she was young, Tala used to write letters to her future self. In this piece, she decided to finally write her younger self back.

I miss your voice and I miss your mind. I miss your innocence. You were one of a kind. I miss your strength and I miss your perseverance. I miss how you took care of your appearance. I miss your smell and I miss your tone. I miss how you liked being alone. I miss your hope and I miss your rage. I miss the letters you wrote for me waiting to be my age.

How could I even think of gaining you back after having lost you for years. Years of guilt. Years of regret. Years of giving up what I now cannot get. I miss your smile and I miss your laugh. I miss all of the insecurities you thought you ’ll never have.

I miss you. I miss the girl you were. I miss the life we had before it all began to blur. Now it’s my time to finally write you back. Let me tell you about all the things you would’ ve missed. Tell you about how life looks in white and black.

TO MY YOUNGER SELF

Tala is an aspiring writer. She spent most of her childhood writing and therefore developed this talent, which turned into a passion. When she was young, Tala used to write letters to her future self. In this piece, she decided to finally write her younger self back.

To my younger self, Your first kiss wasn’t as magical as you imagined it would be. And all the people you thought would stay eventually had to leave. I can reassure you though, that it was never your fault. So please don’t blame yourself, it leads to a very bad result. Your hard work paid off well, and it got you so many places. Followed by a short period of hell that would kill you and leave no traces. But you make it out just fine, what didn’t kill you made you stronger.

So when you feel like quitting and giving up, I advise you to wait a little longer. You ’re going to experience harsh situations, but they always teach you a lesson. You ’re going to raise your expectations and become a slightly better person. But be careful not to lose you like I did because trust me you would slowly regret every bit. The good and the bad, it all turned out to have a meaning.

TO MY YOUNGER SELF

Tala is an aspiring writer. She spent most of her childhood writing and therefore developed this talent, which turned into a passion. When she was young, Tala used to write letters to her future self. In this piece, she decided to finally write her younger self back.

You ’re going to change, and change is as okay as it sounds. But try to change for the better and not the other way around. Life will test your patience and try to bring you to your knees. But you ’ll learn to change your “ why me?” to a resilient “try me” .

Whether you feel happy or sad, know on whose shoulder you ’re leaning. I won’t tell you who to trust. You ’ll figure that out on your own. But make sure not to miss any of the chances that older you had sadly blown.

You ’ll change your mind about marriage. You ’ll no longer want kids. But don’t you worry because it’s only to protect them from how hard life hits. You ’ll get everyone you want, one way or another. Turn from strangers to friends, then from friends to lovers. It mostly ends in heartbreaks, try to avoid that.

TO MY YOUNGER SELF

Tala is an aspiring writer. She spent most of her childhood writing and therefore developed this talent, which turned into a passion. When she was young, Tala used to write letters to her future self. In this piece, she decided to finally write her younger self back.

Your heart will need a break, make sure you provide that. Bring comfort to yourself, because no one else is going to. Everyone will try, but before you have them make sure you have you. You ’ll have fun with your pencils. You will mean what you write. You ’ll start singing and acting too. Art will be a huge part of your life.

You ’re going to be powerful, and hyper independent. You ’re going to start a journey and sometimes try to end it. But you won’t because you ’ll appreciate how far you ’ ve come. And even if you didn’t feel proud of yourself at the moment, just know that I am. You ’re going to learn and teach. You ’re going to speak and preach. You ’re going to grow and blossom. You ’re going to realize that you ’re awesome. You ’re going to feel weak and fragile, but never really be it. But you got this, I’m telling you. Try to believe it.

TO MY YOUNGER SELF

Tala is an aspiring writer. She spent most of her childhood writing and therefore developed this talent, which turned into a passion. When she was young, Tala used to write letters to her future self. In this piece, she decided to finally write her younger self back.

Don’t let your sky lose its color, don't let your sun lose its light. Water your flowers on a daily, be the moon and shine in your night. Life is a game, a challenge, a blessing so make sure you win this fight. Be stronger than me. Embrace who you are.

What your pure soul deserves does not fit in this letter. It doesn’t fit in this world, with its waves and oceans. It’s more magical than magic with its spells and potions. It’s something no one but you can offer. Be your own family, friend and lover. So take care of your life, take care of your health. It’s your chance, younger me, to be the best version of yourself.

Cause one day you ’ll look back, and be surprised you ’ ve come that far. Cause one day will come where you ’ll be writing this, hoping to be able to read it some day. Wondering if I hadn’t lost you, would our life change in any way. Don’t regret any risk you take. If you do, you ’ll be repeating my mistakes. And I don’t want that for you. I know you deserve better.