Utah Valley Health & Wellness September/October 2017

INSIDE: 5 Steps to Overcome Laziness Every Day is a Bonus Day Sport Climbing in Utah County

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2017

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TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Financial What You Need to Know About IRAs

22

Fitness More2Life: The Kalani Sitake Foundation 12 5 Steps to Overcome Laziness Burn Fat, Build Muscle! 15

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Outdoor Living

Health

Sport Climbing in Utah County Lessons Learned from a Utah Running Legend 24

Pharmacogenetic Testing 17 Every Day is a Bonus Day 18

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2017 23

On The Cover: More 2 Life Foundation.

Family Wellness Coming Out: Part 2 – Parental Self-Care 25

Nutrition Athlete’s Corner: The Real PB&J Do You Have a Magnesium Deficiency? 20 Win by Cheating, Honestly 21

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Culture 19

Dia de los Muertos: It’s About Family Intimacy: The Missing Piece 27 Mental Health Benefits of Exercise Self Care When Experiencing Parental Alienation 29

Departments 28

Meet Our Staff 6 Letter from the Editor UVU Letter 10 Community Focus 11

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Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 5

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M E E T O U R S TA F F

Lisa Goff, RYT Editor

Wendy Thueson, MH Author, Nutrition

Travis Lott, CPT, CNS Author, Fitness

Kelli Bettridge, CPT, FNS Author, Fitness

Phil Scoville, LMFT Author, Family Wellness

Terrin Parker, PT Associate Editor

Triston Morgan, PhD, LMFT Executive Editor

Would you like to see your photography included in the next issue of Utah Valley Health & Wellness?

If so, please contact our staff at tristonmorgan@gmail.com or 801-410-9989.

For more information on advertising or other inquiries, including career information, visit our website at www.utvalleywellness.com, email tristonmorgan@gmail.com or call us at 801-410-9989.

The publisher is not responsible for the accuracy of the articles in Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine. The information contained within has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable.

Neither the publisher nor any other party assumes liability for loss or damage as a result of reliance on this material. Appropriate professional advice should be sought before making decisions.

Outside of our staff authors, articles written by providers or professionals are invited authors and represent the opinions of that particular individual, business, group or organization.

If an article is a paid advertisement, we will place the word “Advertisement” or “Advertorial” to identify it as such. ©Copyright 2017.

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Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 7

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FROM THE EDITOR

Driving along Highway 89 last week, I noticed the sign “Provo, Welcome Home”. I grew up in Oregon, but it seems like life “began” when I met my sweetheart at BYU. Since then we’ve had four children and lived in Arizona, Maryland, Colorado, Washington and St George. Now we’ve come full circle and it really does feel like coming home. Our family loves the outdoors and we’re excited to rediscover the hiking, biking, climbing and kayaking opportunities along the beautiful Wasatch front. We’re also eager to attend all the cultural and sporting events this area has to offer; Utah Valley is home to some amazingly talented people!

I am a yoga and meditation teacher with a degree in Integrated Health and Wellness. I am thrilled with the opportunity to use that knowledge, and passion for wellness, in my new position as editor for the magazine. I love the articles on physical, mental and emotional health that are shared in every issue.

As a mother of three teenagers and one young adult, I know how crazy and stressful life can get. The last four weeks have been full of summer camps, school registrations, sports physicals, and oh yes, unpacking. I just keep reminding myself to breathe.

It’s amazing how a couple of slow deep breaths can create a brief pause in the chaos. It gives me a chance to reconnect to the people that matter most and to recognize the beauty in the world around me. I know that my short and long-term well-being begins with something as simple as a deep breath.

So, as you settle back into your fall routine, I encourage you to breathe, acknowledge a blessing or two and enjoy our beautiful mountain home!

Lisa Goff Editor

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Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 9

Dear Friends, This fall at Utah Valley University we mark the one-year anniversary of the installation of an art project of epic proportions. It’s called Roots of Knowledge, and it chronicles top advancements and achievements of the world, forever etched in tens of thousands of pieces of stained glass. Situated in the pedestrian heart of campus, Roots of Knowledge quickly became the showpiece of the university.

Spanning 200 feet in length and 10 feet in height across 80 panes, the exhibition’s permanent home is in the Bingham Gallery, at the front of the Fulton Library at UVU. The artistry and drive of Tom Holdman, Cameron Oscarson, and an array of other artists at Holdman Studios in Lehi, coupled with the resources of Utah Valley University, guided by the enthusiasm and expanded vision of President Matt Holland, resulted in a unique look at history—a pristine panorama paralleled by none other.

President Holland enlisted the expertise of UVU’s faculty for historical accuracy of the windows, and the willingness of hundreds of students to fill a variety of roles.

UVU’s fundraising greatly helped ensure the success of the stunning display, which truly is a monument to and an example of engaged learning.

The duration of the project from conception to completion took more than a decade of work. The amount of hours and collaboration it took to create each pane embodies our community’s ability to come together to produce something fantastic.

In a similar way, we are thrilled to be the university for Utah Valley and the region.

Year after year, we educate more students from Utah Valley than all other state universities and colleges combined.

We invite you to stop by the Bingham Gallery. There is no admission fee, and any time the library is open, you can walk right in. The display is even lit at night, and there is so much to take in, we think you will notice something different and unique every time.

Learning is like that. As you experience Roots of Knowledge, we hope you will find—and expand—your own quest for learning.

Cameron K. Martin Vice President, University Relations Utah Valley University

Dr. Cameron Martin is the vice president for University Relations at Utah Valley University. His primary responsibility is to manage the university’s interests and resources pertaining to legislative affairs (local, state, and federal), community and neighbor relations, and university marketing and communications. Dr. Martin also plays a direct and strategic role in the university’s endeavors for economic and community development, international and diplomatic affairs, and high-profile student internships and university events.

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Warmest regards,

Cameron K. Martin Cameron K. Martin Vice President, University Relations Utah Valley University

Community

A Mayor’s Guide to Best Fall Foliage in Provo How beautiful is Provo this time of year? The kaleidoscope of fall colors seen throughout the valley and up Provo Canyon are just breathtaking! There are so many beautiful mountain views, scenic byways, and places to enjoy the abundant and colorful fall foliage. The brilliant hues of red, orange, yellow, and purple come from the wide array of native trees, forests, and parks located in and around Provo.

This is the perfect season to take advantage of Provo’s trail system, go on an adventurous hiking trip, or take a long weekend drive. So, let me take you there! I’ve put together a list of the best places in Provo for viewing fall foliage. Read on for all the details.

For 15 miles, the Provo River Parkway Trail weaves its way from Utah Lake to Vivian Park in Provo Canyon, taking the sightseer past Bridal Veil Falls where the water cascades down the mountainside, inviting the hiker to hike, the biker to bike, and the camper to set up camp.

Drivers can see native maple trees, scrub oak, quaking aspen and fir trees from Squaw Peak Road. (Just head up the canyon a couple of miles, turn onto Squaw Peak Road and travel about six miles to a fork. Take the left fork past the Squaw Peak campgrounds to the dirt road.) Enjoy the view. It’s gorgeous.

So is the South Fork Canyon. Find it by heading up Provo Canyon and turning right at Vivian Park. There is a grassy park that’s relaxing to visit on a Sunday afternoon, or any afternoon when you feel like getting away from the hustle and bustle. In the forest you’ll find oak, box elder, and maple trees, and see a rainbow of colorful leaves in hues of red, orange, yellow, pink, and even purple alongside the gorgeous greenery. You can hike, drive, shoot pictures, or just bring along a camp chair and drink in the colors.

Provo Canyon provides access to Sundance Mountain Resort and the Alpine Loop Scenic Byway (which provides access to Timpanogos Cave National Monument). The majestic beauty of the Wasatch Mountain range and Mount Timpanogos makes the most remarkable backdrop to the foliage and forest trees.

The Slate Canyon Trail (a best-kept secret among locals) climbs to meadows, springs, and pines. At the summit of Slate Canyon Drive there is a sign for the Bonneville Shoreline Trail. Enter and stay right on the gravel road until you reach the parking lots and the sign for the Bonneville Shoreline trail. The Slate Canyon Trail heads east and the Bonneville shoreline trail heads north.

We truly live in a remarkable place, surrounded by gorgeous mountains and spectacular landscapes. I hope this list will encourage you to explore an area of our city that is new to you.

This is the perfect season to take advantage of Provo’s trail system, go on an adventurous hiking trip, or take a long weekend drive.

John Curtis Provo Mayor Growing up, John Curtis thought of Provo as a memorable place. As mayor, he wants to make sure it continues to be a place where children and adults feel safe, and a place that meets the needs of all of its residents with continued economic development and great public services.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 11

By Phil Scoville & Triston Morgan We all know who BYU Head Coach Kalani Sitake is - the bruising BYU running back who played for Lavell Edwards and later was a long-time assistant coach for the University of Utah and Oregon State University.

Since he has become BYU’s Head Football Coach, he has begun to change the culture of the program - with an emphasis on helping his team and Cougar Nation feel like a family.

We’ve been BYU football fans since we were little kids. Coach Lavell Edwards, Steve Young and Ty Detmer were all legends that we looked up to. So when we had the chance to go the BYU football offices to meet with Coach Kalani Sitake, walking past memorabilia, posters and 12 www.utvalleywellness.com

gear, we have to admit, we were pretty starstruck.

We’d never been in a football coach’s office before - let alone BYU’s Head Football Coach.

As we waited for Coach Sitake, we met several assistant football coaches and saw young football recruits walking down the hallway.

From around the corner, we heard Coach Ty Detmer’s unmistakable Texas drawl as he was showing them around. Before he could turn the corner, we were called in to Coach Sitake’s office. Guess we’ll have to wait until next time for that photo op! We were nervous, but Coach Sitake’s calm demeanor and attitude helped put us at ease and we instantly felt like members of the BYU football family.

While we met, Kalani shared with us what motivates him as a football coach; that one of his purposes is to help shape his young athletes to serve others and help them think about more than just themselves. Coach Sitake was open about how this desire led him to start something to accomplish this--the More2Life Foundation.

A few years after his parents’ divorce, at an elementary school assembly put on by BYU athletes, Kalani was deeply affected by the kindness of a BYU player. “He sought me out and asked me my name. He embraced me and it was beautiful.” That moment was monumental. “I felt I had a purpose. It changed my life. I was already a BYU fan, but now I was going to die a BYU fan... that experience has impacted me for 30 years.”

“The whole purpose of our mortal life is to help encourage

others and to serve...with an intent to help young people whether they are disadvantaged in any way, whether it be physical, mental or financial.

Simply giving people money isn’t enough... give them motivation and help them find passion. For us in our football program, there are two sides of it. Service brings the best out of people. When I was younger and growing up, helping others brought me a lot of joy. In college things tend to get selfish. In football, you’re worried about fitness - losing and gaining weight. We have a lot of missionaries who are just returning home who play football and utilize the platform we have. It is an obligation for us to help others. Our players are consistently serving others.”

Kalani expressed a desire to see this type of service-oriented program start at every major

“The whole purpose of our mortal life is to help encourage others and to serve.”

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FITNESS

Photo courtesy of Brian Wilcox/BYU.

sports program across the country and hopes to get other football coaches on board. Kalani emphasized, “what good we could do if all programs were able to do something like this.”

One of the main initiatives of the More2Life Foundation is to inspire others to serve.

Kalani often does this through events like recent visits to underprivileged children in Harlem and LA. There, they held activities to help children and coaches through lessons about life, competition, goal-setting and of course some football too.

Kalani feels “the big events get a lot of attention. We hold events every month that maintain a lot of momentum and it’s not limited to just football. What if the BYU football team shows up to a service project? That would have been huge for me as kid.

I would have gone to do it.” So would we!

The True Blue Hero program, another More2Life initiative, partners with BYU

football to honor children who are overcoming significant challenges at one of the weekly football practices. One of our colleague’s nieces was a recipient of this program before one of the games last year.

“We are hoping to motivate others to serve,” Kalani stated, “Even though we put on football clinics - it’s not just limited to football. During these clinics, we also emphasize service projects and important life skills, such as making care kits for others and setting personal goals. We’ve received great feedback.”

We asked Kalani how people can support the More2Life Foundation. “Time!” he responded.

“If people want to donate money, they can. It helped us take 32 players to Harlem and 34 players to LA. But donating is not just about money. Some people may not be able to donate money, but they can donate their time to help.

Some have donated a few hours a week to organize. It’s not money that makes things run, it’s people.”

“I don’t know how many wins this will get us, but I’m not really worried about that. The name of the foundation is that there is ‘More 2 Life’ than just football.”

“During the foundation’s first year, I’ve been impressed with our players. It’s humbling for them to see the effect they have on these kids. Some of our players haven’t served LDS missions, but they’ve been able to catch the vision of service.”

“I don’t know how many wins this will get us, but I’m not really worried about that. The name of the foundation is that there is ‘More 2 Life’ than just football.

I’d like to think you can win games through more than just x’s and o’s and working out.” Kalani states that if you serve together as a team and as a family, that is a victory in itself.

“Get out and serve,” he advises, “Help others to not focus on their own issues by serving and by seeing that their worth is valued by other people and that it has a lot to do with giving their time and energy.”

About the Authors Phil and Triston are owners of the Center for Couples and Families in American Fork, Provo and Spanish Fork and provide marriage and family therapy to clients.

Let’s follow Coach Sitake’s counsel and go out and serve others.

To read more about Coach Kalani Sitake’s More2Life Foundation, visit the website at www.coachkalani.com.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 13

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FITNESS

5 Steps

to Overcome

Laziness

By Kelli Bettridge, CPT, FNS

“How am I going to reach my weight-loss goals, if I don’t even floss my teeth?” I laughed when I heard one of my wise clients state this out loud during one of our first training sessions years ago. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but as I have pondered it more I have realized how profound her comment actually was! When you become lazy or comfortable and stop taking the extra time to do the little things in life, your goals go right out the window. To avoid losing sight of what we are trying to achieve, we have to remember all the small steps it takes to get us there. These five steps have helped me stay focused on what I’m trying to accomplish, and avoid the natural pull of laziness.

Step 1: Wake up Get your butt out of bed! “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise” couldn’t be more true! The hardest part is just doing it—so put your “mind over your mattress” and do what you need to do to make it happen. If that’s putting your alarm clock on the other side of the room, DO IT! Once you make this a routine, you’ll not only improve your sleep quality, but if you are getting enough sleep, it should become natural to wake up and you won’t even need that obnoxious sound waking you up anymore.

Step 2: Drink water Your body is more than 60% water so I could go on all day about the benefits of drinking it, but talking specifically about overcoming laziness… Did you know one of the most common symptoms of dehydration is tiredness? Your body needs AT LEAST half your weight in oz. of water everyday, and more if you are trying to lose weight.

Step 3: Fuel your body with nutrient dense food Let’s talk about French fries. Ever found one in your car a week, a month, a year later? What does it look like? Exactly the same as the day you got it! If you were to find broccoli left in your car even just a few days later it would look totally different—probably decomposed and really gross. It works the same when you eat it, unhealthy foods are hard for your body to breakdown. So, eat lots of fruits and veggies! Foods high in protein raise your levels of dopamine and norepinephrine levels, which produce feelings of alertness and blocks serotonin production, which gives the feeling of relaxation. To get both benefits, pair your protein with a healthy carb at each meal!

About the Author Kelli is a CPT and is FNS certified. She currently trains clients at Level 212 Fitness. Kelli earned her Bachelor of Science Degree in Exercise Science from Utah Valley University where she currently teaches Fitness for Life.

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Step 4: Get in a workout When you’re tired, getting in a workout is usually the last thing you want to do, but have you ever done it anyway? How do you feel after?

Energized! While exercising you are creating more energy. As you work your body it creates more mitochondria to keep up with energy needs, in return giving you more energy!

Step 5: Have SMART goals If you have never heard the term “SMART Goal,” it stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. It seems so simple, but is so important! Knowing what you’re working towards and why you’re doing it gives you the purpose you need to continue striving towards your goal!

Burn Fat, Build Muscle!

By Travis Lott CPT, CES, FNS, WLS Most of the people I help—whether through a fitness program, a nutrition program, or a combination of the two—have the same end goal. People want to lose fat, look good, and feel great! It’s as simple as that.

The biggest question they have is the “How”.

The global fitness industry generates more than 80 billion dollars per year. With that comes a lot of marketing ploys that seem attractive, promising a fast and easy way to get the body of your dreams. No wonder people are so confused when we talk about the how!

First, you need to determine what your goal is. For most people, the goal is fat loss.

The best way to do that is by having a caloric deficit at the end of each day through a combination of eating and exercise. There’s some calculating to do, but it’s not as complicated as you might think.

Many people ask, “Can I burn fat and gain muscle at the same time?” My answer is… it depends. Technically, those are two different processes, so they can’t happen at exactly the same time, but they can happen fairly close together. One method that has proven

Sources: https://www.builtlean. com/2011/08/04/can-you-losefat-and-build-muscle-at-thesame-time/ https://www.bodybuilding.com/ content/build-muscle-and-losefat-simultaneously.html https://www.builtlean. com/2012/05/03/lose-fat-first/ https://www.statista.com/ topics/1141/health-and-fitnessclubs/

successful is nutrient timing, but it can be so detailed that the average person will throw in the towel trying to attempt to follow it. It’s a fairly complicated topic to address—perhaps one for another day. For now, here are a couple of simple tips that can help you with reaching your fat loss goals: #1. Nutrition to lose fat If you are overweight, you probably have some fat to lose. That should be your first priority. Fat can lead to many problems down the road. You can burn fat by eating at a gradual daily caloric deficit. Please do not attempt anything extreme, like a severe calorie-restriction diet. That will only worsen your overall health. It’s no wonder that nutrition can be confusing to consumers when food labels are advertising, “Fat-free!”, “Low carb!”, “Eat this and you’ll magically lose fat!” The reality is, eating a variety of whole grain foods, fibrous carbs (fruits and veggies), healthy fats, and lean protein is what will enable you to burn fat. Just remember, too much of anything—even healthy food, will result in fat gain. At the end of the day, we want to avoid putting on fat. Now let’s talk about putting on muscle.

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FITNESS

#2. Adding Muscle to burn fat Lifting weights and adding muscle to your body will help you burn fat, because muscle burns fat—even at rest. You can add in some cardio to help boost fat loss. Remember, slow and steady will get you the results you want (read my last article, Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day, Neither are You). Too many people just do not do enough weight lifting. Also, doing high repetitions of lower weight probably isn’t what’s going to get you the results you want—whether you’re male or female. Of course, if you are completely out of shape, you don’t want to go attempt a heavy squat and get injured. Hit the machines that provide good form, and then graduate from those before attempting something your body isn’t ready for.

The bottom line is, try to keep it simple.

Eat healthy, start a fitness routine, and then give it time. Time is something we all have little patience for, but time is also what will get you the results you want. For any questions regarding weight training or proper nutrition, feel free to reach out to me at: travis@leantrition.com About the Author Travis Lott is a certified personal trainer, corrective exercise specialist, certified nutritionist, and certified weight-loss specialist at Leantrition. He has trained many diverse individuals and groups over the years including people of all ages, weight classes, and medical histories. Many of his clients have seen very successful results that have changed their lives. Travis is passionate about the health industry and takes pride in helping others achieve a new, healthy way of living.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 15

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H E A LT H

Pharmacogenetic Testing Personalized medicine through genetic testing

By Dr. Kelly Wosnik, NP-C Historically, medication has been prescribed with a “one-size-fitsall” approach. Advances in genetic testing now allow medication to be tailored to the individual. In 2003 the Human Genome Project mapped the entire human genome (the complete set of DNA).

Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes within the nucleus of each cell. Each chromosome has hundreds to thousands of genes. Each gene carries DNA (instructions for making proteins). Humans have an estimated 30,000 genes, some of which are responsible for how the body uses medications. Even a small difference in a gene can have a large impact on the way the body responds to medication. Humans share around 99.5% of their genomes. The 0.5% difference accounts for millions of differences between the DNA of two individuals. The study of how your genes affect individual responses to medications is known as pharmacogenetics.

What is pharmacogenetic testing?

With pharmacogenetic testing, an individual’s blood or saliva is used by a laboratory to look for changes in genes. Pharmacogenetic testing can determine whether a medication is an effective treatment, the dose of medication you may need, if you are likely to have side effects from a medication, or the likelihood of drug-to-drug interactions.

How do we know how genes affect medication response?

Researchers compare the genomes of people taking the same medication. They look for sets of people with certain genetic variations who share common treatment responses. These responses are things like greater side effects, a need for a higher dose, no benefit from the drug, or the optimal duration of treatment.

How is pharmacogentic testing being used?

Doctors in primary care, mental health, cardiology, asthma, and cancer use pharmacogentic information to help prescribe the best drug for the patient. This information is used along with clinical factors, such as the patient’s age, weight, sex, and diagnosis. This helps avoid the trial-and-error approach and decreases injuries or deaths due to drug reactions.

Will having genetic testing affect my ability to get health insurance in the future?

A federal law, the Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act (GINA), makes it illegal for insurances companies to discriminate based on genetic information. Life insurers and the military may still use this information.

How often should genetic testing be done?

Once. Genetic testing is based on DNA, which is inherited from an individual’s parents and does not change.

What are the challenges of pharmacogenetic testing?

Pharmacogentic testing is still in its infancy. Identification of a genetic change does not necessarily indicate an absolute diagnosis of non-response or side effects. Current tests only show known variants in genes. Genes are not the only factor that influences the body’s response to medication. Age, lifestyle, health, and environmental factors can also affect medication.

Only 11% of doctors have discussed personalized treatment options through pharmacogentic testing. This may be because of the limited office time doctors have with patients. It may also be due to the lack of knowledge and experience practitioners have with pharmacogenetic testing. Cost of testing and insurance coverage are other possible factors.

References Clifton, J. M., VanBeuge, S. S., Mladenka, C. and Wosnik, K. K. (2010), The Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act 2008: What clinicians should understand. Journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners, 22: 246–249.

Mills, R., Voora, D., Peyser, B., & Haga, S. B. (2013). Delivering pharmacogenetic testing in a primary care setting. Pharmacogenomics and Personalized Medicine, 6, 105–112.

National Institute of General Medical Sciences: Frequently Asked Questions about Pharmacogenomics (http://www.nigms.nih.gov/research/FeaturedPrograms/PGRN/ Background/pgrn_faq.htm) National Institutes of Health Genetics Home Reference: What is Pharmacogenomics? (http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/handbook/genomicresearch/pharmacogenomics)

About the Author Dr. Wosnik is the owner of Bristol Health, a mental health clinic in Orem, Utah. She received her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in nursing from Brigham Young University and her Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP) from the University of Utah. In addition to her medical practice, she is the founder of CCD Smiles, a nonprofit organization that helps individuals with cleidocranial dysplasia.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 17

Bonus

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Every Day is a Bonus Day How a terminal cancer patient is inspiring others to live

By Melanie Day

My name is Melanie Day. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, just a few weeks after I found out I was pregnant with my third child. I endured chemo, surgery, and too many ER visits, all while pregnant. I eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy, and then continued more chemo, radiation, and surgeries. After a year and a half of treatment, I had my first clear scan and was so excited to be moving on with my life, free of cancer. However, in 2015, they found cancer in my bones and I was given five years to live.

My perspective on life completely changed. Suddenly, I wanted to do all those things I said I’d do someday. I wanted to go on that Mediterranean cruise with my husband. I wanted to be more forgiving and stop judging others. I wanted to speak more freely and openly. I wanted to make sure that people knew how I really felt, and that they knew that I loved them. I wanted to stop saving my money and instead spend it on making memories with my loved ones. I wanted to stop worrying about what I looked like or what others thought of me. I wanted to instead build people up, make them happy and excited about life. I wanted to learn to enjoy the chaos of a toddler house and to stop obsessing with having a perfectly clean house. I knew I had to make a lot of changes. And I was grateful that cancer was teaching me to wake up!

I’ve always been the person who saved all my pennies and never splurged on anything. I’ve said no to so many adventures because I wanted to save my money instead, or I didn’t think I had the time, or some other excuse like that. But cancer has shown me how important it is to make the most out of life NOW. Making memories with my family and to no longer delay my dreams are top priorities for me now. My family and I have made an effort to go on adventures this past year to cross off my bucket list items. We spent Christmas making memories at a mountain resort instead of buying

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our kids presents. I skied in Tahoe for a About the Author weekend with the Send It Foundation.

A metastatic or stage IV We took the kids to Disneyland for a breast cancer patient, magical week, thanks to some generous Melanie writes on her blog (fiveyearstolive.org) and friends. In February, the BYU and Duke social media (Instagram: @ basketball coaches surprised me with melanieday) to share with the number one item on my bucket list. others the perspective cancer They got us tickets to the UNC at Duke has given her. She is a former basketball player (UCLA & men’s basketball game, my ultimate BYU) and coach (UNLV). sports fantasy. In April, I spent two She resides in Lehi, Utah weeks in New Zealand playing in the with her husband, Preston, World Masters Games with my former a Salt Lake City prosecutor, and three small children. college teammates. Just last week, we witnessed thousands of lanterns in the sky at the Lantern Fest in Salt Lake City. A nonprofit organization called Inheritance of Hope is hosting us this next week in Florida at Disneyworld, Universal Studios, and Sea World. After that, we will be in Lake Tahoe for a family reunion. I plan on going to Hawaii in November, Europe the next two years, and NYC in the fall of 2018. I’m sure more opportunities for adventure will arise and we will seize them. I’ve said “no” to so many of these opportunities in the past, so going forward, I’ll mostly be saying, “yes.”

Although this terminal diagnosis drove me into depression and anxiety of my unavoidable death, I eventually realized the importance of sharing my story so that I could help others. That is now my life’s mission. I want to help others see what I see, without having a terminal disease. I want people to ponder their own death and let that motivate them to live their life how they want to NOW instead of waiting until it’s too late. I want people to realize that every day is a bonus day.

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NUTRITION

Athlete’s Corner:

The Real PB&J

By Charles Abouo

Most of us participate in some form of physical activity. We may be avid runners, into extreme sports, outdoor sports, traditional sports, or weightlifting. We have different preferences, but on some level, we are all athletes. The food we eat helps us fuel and recover from everything we take on during the day.

Every athlete has their go-to, easy to make, great tasting snack or drink that helps them get through their workouts or their day.

That could be a PB&J, cold cereal with milk, a sandwich, a bowl of oatmeal or even a smoothie. Everyone is different. I can’t tell you if one is better than the other.

People always ask me what is bad and what is not? Is popcorn bad? What about chocolate or ice cream? Bacon? Bread? Well, it just depends on what is in it—not what it looks like. For example, healthy ice cream and unhealthy ice cream look the same.

Ingredients are the key to finding great food to help your performance. PB&J, oatmeal, chocolate milk, and sports drinks are examples of very popular foods among athletes. The best foods for performance are the ones that are also good for your health. Bad, harmful ingredients are detrimental to your health and performance.

We can’t know if bread, oatmeal, or milk is healthy by just looking at it. We only know by the ingredients and labels. If you are comfortable eating certain foods, just make sure to clean up the ingredients so you can still enjoy what you love.

To perform better, you need to eat real food with real ingredients.

So, you tell me—based on the information you see to the right, which one is a real peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

Bread: 100% Organic whole wheat, water, honey, yeast, salt.

(Aspen Mills Honey Wheat) Jelly: Organic Concord grapes.

(Eden’s Organic Grape Butter) Peanut butter: Roasted peanuts, salt. *Healthy!

About the Author Charles is a former NCAA student and professional basketball player. He was an athlete at Brigham Young University, where he received his bachelor’s degree in exercise and wellness.

Bread: Enriched bleached flour [wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, iron, thiamin mononitrate (vitamin B1), riboflavin (vitamin B2)], water, sugar, contains 2% or less of each of the following: salt, yeast, distilled vinegar, potato flour, cultured wheat flour, soy lecithin, soy flour. (Grandma Sycamore’s) Jelly: Concord grape juice, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, fruit pectin, citric acid, sodium citrate.

Peanut butter: Roasted peanuts and sugar, contains 2% or less of: molasses, fully hydrogenated vegetable oils (rapeseed and soybean), mono and diglycerides, salt. *Unhealthy!

Once we get past what is actually needed for bread, jelly and peanut butter, we have to wonder why we are eating all of the other unnecessary ingredients and what they do in our bodies. Some of the ingredients in a basic PB&J are illegal in most countries in Europe.

This type of comparison can be done with all the foods we eat. We can make anything we want healthy. It is all in the production and ingredients.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 19

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NUTRITION

Do You Have a Magnesium Deficiency?

About the Author Wendy Thueson is a certified Chef, Raw Food Coach, Master Herbalist and a wife and mother of four. She is passionate about plants and their amazing nutritional and medicinal powers. She is from Eagle Mountain and enjoys teaching classes, speaking at events, and sharing her message of health on TV and in printed media.

She is the author of “7 Days of Raw Food”, and her “1 Day Raw Challenge” found at RawChefWendy.com

Tips on how to fix this common problem and regain your health

By Wendy P. Thueson Magnesium is an important mineral for many reasons. It is the center of the chlorophyll molecule and is the basis for the food chain. When we drink beverages like soda that contain phosphoric acid, which is added to prevent mold and bacteria growth found in the sugary substance, the magnesium gets depleted from our bodies quickly. This can cause many health problems over time.

Indications of Magnesium Deficiency • Foot odor • Constipation • Muscle cramps and spasms • Fatigue • Poor sleep • Back pain • Kidney issues • Heart palpitations or arrhythmia • Twitching eyelids

• High blood pressure • Migraines (especially during menstruation) • Dizziness • Numbness • Changes in personality • Anxiety • Panic attacks

• Nausea • Vomiting • Growth failure • Cramps • Depression • Organ calcification • Asthma • Fainting • Vertigo

Other Contributing Factors of Magnesium Depletion Dehydration One of the best ways to overcome a deficiency in magnesium is to drink plenty of water due to the magnesium that is wasted from dehydration.

Calcium Supplementation (calcium carbonate): One of the fastest ways to deplete yourself of magnesium is to take a calcium supplement or eat or drink foods or beverages that contain this form of calcium derived from 4% of the earth’s crust in the form of chalk, limestone, marble, and shells. Using an herbal calcium formula is best as well as eating plants high in calcium such as oranges, apricots, kiwi, dates, carrots, beets, and green leafy vegetables.

Milk - Drinking too much milk can also cause a magnesium crisis, especially for athletes and seniors, which could eventually lead to death.

Diuretics and Caffeine - Eighty percent of people who use diuretics, including caffeine, experience a daily loss of magnesium that can create a downward spiral in health. Be careful of consuming too much coffee and caffeinated beverages, even if they’re natural.

The body needs magnesium, calcium, sodium, and potassium for proper function of nerves, muscles, blood pressure regulation, building bones and teeth, liver function, brain function and calming nerves, as well as cell growth. Magnesium also increases elasticity of tissue and supports the process of excretion.1 20 www.utvalleywellness.com

Foods Rich in Magnesium The pH of the soil in which our food grows is affected by four main minerals: calcium, magnesium, potassium, and sodium. Magnesium can raise the pH of the soil pound for pound up to 1.4 times more than calcium. An imbalance in the symmetry of calcium and magnesium allows organic residues to decay into alcohol, which sterilizes the bacteria, and then into formaldehyde to preserve cell tissue.2 This can create further imbalances in the soil, which affect the nutrients we get from the plants we eat.

Increasing your intake of boron by eating beans, nuts, sprouted whole grains, soaked nuts and fruits will help prevent loss of magnesium in the urine. It will also help strengthen bones and increase bone density.3 Here is a small list of foods that are rich in magnesium.

Plant Foods Adzuki beans Almonds, raw & sprouted Aloe vera Apples Apricot Artichoke Asparagus Avocado Bananas Barley Beets Bell pepper

Black beans Black currant Black or wild cherries Black walnut Bok choy Brazil nuts Brussels sprouts Butternut squash HERBS Alfalfa Basil Bladder wrack Burdock

Caraway Cardamom Chamomile Chickweed Cilantro Clove Coriander Curly dock Dandelion Dill Comfrey Chaparral Wild yam

Over 80% of Americans are deficient in magnesium, according to Dr. Norman Shealy, MD, Ph.D. He also says, “Every known illness is associated with magnesium deficiency, and it is the missing cure to many diseases”.4 Increasing the amount of magnesium-rich foods we consume and doing all we can to avoid the factors listed above that contribute to the depletion of magnesium from the body will help us regain our health and thrive. This is another way to use food as medicine and practice prevention of disease.

“Minerals for the Genetic Code” by Charles Walters pg 138-139 “Minerals for the Genetic Code” by Charles Walters pg 21-22 3 https://draxe.com/boron-uses/ 4 https://draxe.com/9-signs-magnesium-deficiency/ 1 2

Win by Cheating,

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NUTRITION

Honestly

How to maintain a healthy weight through mindful eating

By Kristi Terry, Registered Dietitian

About the Author Confession. My most successful clients are those who cheat.

As a graduate of BYU with a The people who trust themselves more than they trust me. Let’s Bachelor’s Degree in Dietetics, be honest; any doctor, dietitian, health coach or personal trainer Kristi has worked in many different places including the who tells you that they know your body better than you do is Center for Change, the Utah dead wrong. We can all run the numbers, but the take home Valley Specialty Hospital, advice is pretty much the same for all the different approaches. and is the owner of Nourish Nutrition Services. Life More fruit and vegetables, natural whole foods, blah, blah… outside of work is enhanced If we all know this, why are so many of us struggling with by five delightful kids who overeating and weight gain? Could it be that our lifestyles are are active in various sports, gardening, horses, and too hectic to perceive the signal to stop eating? By default, our many activities in the great busy lifestyles tell us to ignore our body’s natural signals. In outdoors. desperation, we turn to someone else to write a meal plan, or buy some prepackaged guaranteed result that reinforces our suspicion that the professional knows what our body needs more than we do.

This practice of trusting our bodies to dictate our intake is known as “mindful eating.”

It is an approach that so many do not understand. Many won’t give it a chance because of fear that eating anything and everything their body craves with wild abandon will lead to catastrophic weight gain. Even those who embrace my favorite book on the subject (Intuitive Eating by Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole) often come away thinking the approach is nothing more than a ticket to indulge. Being intuitive simply means being aware of how food appeals to you (appearance, aroma, and taste), then trusting your interpretation of these physiological cues to monitor hunger and satiety, and eat accordingly. An experienced mindful eater will still use knowledge, research, meal planning, and past experiences to make healthy food choices, yet trust their own body to determine when and how much to eat.

It seems simple, but the concept of becoming THAT in tune with their body feels like a long shot, for some. I know that activities like meditation, journaling, yoga, or even a quiet mealtime environment can help you become more aware of the physiological cues your body sends. However, I have a type A personality and I have no doubt that sitting still to journal for five minutes in the morning would force me to choose between feeding my kids breakfast and shaving my legs… and THAT makes me feel like stress eating. So, I was having a hard time bridging the gap between reality and perfection by DOING NOTHING. Yoga was a more active way to make that peaceful connection between mind and body that worked, for me. According to Harvard researchers, “Both years of yoga practice and number of minutes of practice/week [are] associated with better mindful eating scores.”

(http://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/yoga-benefits-beyond-the-mat).

Another ongoing study of more than 15,000 adults in their 50s at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle led by Alan Kristal, demonstrated that overweight people who did yoga at least once a week for 4+ years lost an average of 5 pounds. The control group in that study gained an average of 13.5 lbs. (http://www.prevention.com/weight-loss/

weight-loss-tips/surprising-way-gentle-yoga-can-help-you-lose-serious-weight).

So, I dare you to take the challenge! Try some yoga. Then, go out on a limb and question my perfectly counted macros with 6 small meals/day. If you end up indulging in more than the measured amount, you might not be as ravenous when the next snack is on the schedule. Maybe you could even swap two of those tiny scheduled snacks for a beautiful family meal.

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 21

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FINANCIAL

What You Need to Know About

By Todd Francis Johnson, Northwestern Mutual Investing for retirement is one of the most important things you can do for your future. Yet, an employer-sponsored savings plan, such as a 401(k), may not be enough to provide the savings you need. For many, an Individual Retirement Account (IRA) is one of the best ways to accumulate additional retirement savings on a tax-advantaged basis.

There are two main types of IRAs: Traditional and Roth. Both have the same contribution limits, the same catch-up provisions for people age 50 and older (for this year’s amount, go to the Internal Revenue Service website, www.irs.gov), and both allow your investment earnings to compound tax-deferred until you start taking withdrawals, typically at retirement.

To help determine which IRA is right for you, consider how they differ.

Eligibility You can contribute to a traditional IRA, provided you (or your spouse, if you are married and file jointly) have earned income and you will not turn age 70 ½ by the end of the year. In contrast, Roth IRAs are subject to income limits, which means not everyone can take advantage of one. (To learn more about your eligibility, consult the IRS website at www.irs.gov).

Deductibility Contributions to a Traditional IRA may be tax deductible, subject to certain requirements. Any contributions you make may help lower your taxable income in the year in which you make them. With a Roth IRA, contributions are made with after-tax dollars, meaning the money you contribute has already been taxed, with no benefit of a deduction.

IRAs

Other Tax Advantages When money is taken from a Roth IRA at retirement, it’s potentially tax-free — and that includes your tax-deferred earnings.

That’s different from a Traditional IRA, which is fully taxable at current tax rates when withdrawn.

Traditional IRAs require you to begin taking minimum required distributions at age 70 ½ — whether or not you need the money. If you fail to take your distribution, you’ll face stiff penalties.

In contrast, Roth IRA owners are not subject to mandatory withdrawals at age 70 ½. This means you can extend the tax advantages of your account longer than with a Traditional IRA. Which is Better?

One rule of thumb suggests that if you think your tax rate today is higher than it will be in retirement, a Traditional IRA may make sense. Conversely, if your tax rate is lower than you think it will be in retirement, a Roth IRA may be the better choice—assuming you qualify for one. However, because everyone’s situation is different, be sure to consult with a financial representative or tax professional to carefully weigh all the factors and determine which IRA is best for you.

This information is not considered legal or tax advice. Please consult your tax attorney.

Article prepared by Northwestern Mutual with the cooperation of Todd Francis Johnson. Todd Francis Johnson is a Wealth Management Advisor with Northwestern Mutual, the marketing name for The Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company (NM), Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and its subsidiaries.

Todd Francis Johnson is based in St George, UT. To contact Todd Francis Johnson, please call (435) 628-8248, e-mail at todd.johnson@nm.com, or visit toddjohnson-nm.com.

About the Author

Todd Johnson is a Wealth Management Advisor with Northwestern Mutual. He is also the Managing Director for operations in Southern Utah. Todd has been with Northwestern Mutual since 2003; he began after completing his Law Degree at Case Western University.

He is married to Erin Johnson and they are the parents of three beautiful girls. When he is not working, Todd enjoys spending time boating, mountain biking, riding horses, and spending time with his family.

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About the Author

Sport climbing in Utah County

By Jonathan H. Bybee

If you want to get into sport climbing Utah County is the place. Between American Fork Canyon and Rock Canyon you have two world class climbing areas that have a large range of climbs from beginner to some of the hardest in the world. Rock Canyon alone has over 400 climbs. If you include Ameri-can Fork Canyon and other climbing areas in Utah county you have over 1000 climbs to choose from. You could spend a lifetime just trying to climb everything in Utah County.

What is sport climbing? Let me answer that by explaining there are two major types of rock climbing, sport climbing and trad climbing (traditional climbing). Sport climbing is a style of rock climbing that relies on permanent anchors fixed to the rock for protection, usually drilled and glued bolts and anchors. Trad climbing, is a style of rock climbing in which a climber or group of climbers place all gear required to protect against falls, and removes it when a passage is complete.

Sport climbing is cheaper cost of entry and takes less time to get out and climb. Not to mention its a great alternative to hitting the gym if you do it 2 to 3 times a week. Can you say full body workout?!

The rating (degree of difficulty) or grade of climb is designat-ed by a class number, in this case a 5 (fifth class), which requires the use of a rope, belaying, and protection to protect the climber from a fall. Fifth class is further defined by a decimal and letter system – in increasing and difficulty as number gets larger. The degree of difficulty can be broken up from 5.0 - 5.7 for beginners. Most anyone can start at these ratings and have a good time. 5.8 - 5.9 is where most weekend climbers become comfortable; they employ the specific skills of climbing, such as jamming, liebacks, and

Jon is a graphic designer/ brand guy by day. He is an avid outdoorsman/weekend warrior. He has been climbing in Utah County for 20+ years. He owns a local Utah company called Ravean that makes battery powered heated apparel for urban and the great outdoors. He loves Utah County and all the outdoor sports it offers all year long.

mantels. If you get into the sport you’ll learn these terms pretty quickly. At 5.10 you’ll have to be a pretty dedicated weekend climber. 5.11-5.15 is in the realm of experts/pros; it demands dedicated training and natural ability, not to mention a crazy obsession for the sport.

What kind of gear do you need to sport climb? At a minimum you’ll need climbing shoes, chalk bag, harness, belay device, a rope and 8-10 quickdraw. You’ll also need the app MtnProject.

Its a great way to find the climbs and get beta (information) about the climb. Two local shops for gear, beta and lessons are Mountain Works in Provo and Out N Back in Orem.

Which climbing area should you choose? Both American Fork Canyon and Rock Canyon have beginner climbs but the bulk of the beginners are in Rock Canyon. The climbs are shorter and you can top rope (look it up, I can’t explain every-thing) them to test your chops for the sport. Some great begin-ner areas lower down in Rock Canyon are Tinker Toys and The Appendage. Further up the canyon is The Wild, hands down the best crag for beginners. For intermediate and advanced there are climbs ranging from 5.10 to 5.13 all along the canyon. Some of my favorites are Black Rose, Bug Barn Dance Wall, and The Zoo. American Fork Canyon is know for lots of overhanging “juggy” (pockets) and harder climbs that get you pumped super fast. Some stand out areas are The Membrane, Devision Wall and Escape Buttress. For some of the hardest checkout Hell Cave with a mind blowing 5.14. People come from all over the world to climb this canyon. It’s hard to go wrong with either canyon. Get out there and give it a go!

Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 23

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OUTDOOR LIVING

Lessons Learned from a Utah Running Legend

By Triston Morgan & Tavin Morgan We were training for another race – a 50 mile Ultra Marathon. I, Triston, was slated as a pacer for only 17 miles of the 50, but Tavin was signed up for all of it! Our run that Saturday morning felt like any other run we had done up Provo Canyon – until we met Ed. As we made our way up from the mouth of the canyon to the top of the hill, we saw a man jogging with his dog and we exchanged waves. He seemed happy to be running. After another mile, we rounded a corner and saw the same dog running in the opposite direction with his leash wrapped around his body and legs and this same man standing, holding his forearm up to take a look while picking out the dirt and wiping off the blood. We stopped and said hello, and he mentioned that he had just taken a fall.

Haven’t we all! We ran with this man, Ed, for the next several miles, our dogs, Moose and Gus, running circles around us.

As we got to know each other, we learned that Ed coached track and cross country at BYU where he also ran as a student-athlete back in the 1980s. Later, we looked up his bio online and wow, it is amazing! This is a man who was an NCAA champion, an All-American runner at BYU, an Olympic runner and a decorated coach at BYU. He’s a legend!

I had a chance to sit down with Coach Eyestone after our initial runin and ask some questions about his experiences and advice as a runner.

Ed mentioned that working with his student-athletes is something that he gets excited about. “When you have someone who you believe can do something and together map out a plan and see them execute it and surprise the vast majority of the pundits...these are some of the golden moments of coaching.”

He mentioned his coaching and personal relationship with Jared Ward who finished 6th in the Rio Olympic Marathon and moments like “Rory Linkletter at the NCAA championships last year...and even...the smaller moments when someone makes it to the regional meet who didn’t think they had a chance to make it.” He spoke about his athletes, trials they have faced and the effort they put in. It was impressive to hear.

Looking for advice, I asked him if I should be trying to run on the front of my feet because I tend to shuffle and drag my heels. His advice for all runners is “Your body chooses what works. It’s hard to maintain something that isn’t natural for your body. Get out and move.

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About the Author Triston Morgan & Tavin Morgan – Brothers and running/race partners in Utah Valley.

Let your body choose what it naturally does. The more fit you become, you will find your true stride.”

He added, “Men and women are made for movement – there is something emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually good about movement. The mind-body connection is aided when we get in contact with our physical side. We don’t have to be an Olympic athlete or an NCAA champion to enjoy the benefits of this, but if we can get off the couch and into the game of life, good things can happen.”

We learned many things from Coach Eyestone through our run together and in that meeting, and were also reminded that when you fall, you get back up. With his college and professional running career behind him, Ed is still out on the trail running and logging miles. We imagine that he will be for years to come and that when he falls, he will keep getting back up – so will we!

Coaching Corner

Ed Eyestone

New Runners • Be goal oriented • Choose a race to train for • Don’t be nervous about running in a race - you aren’t the only new one out there

Photo by Bradley Slade.

Running Shoes • Start with a neutral shoe (lighter to medium weight, not overbuilt) • Use the local running store employees to help you choose a shoe • Buy a few pairs of shoes that work for you and rotate running in them • Don’t be stuck to one brand – use multiple ones if they fit for you

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F A M I LY W E L L N E S S

Coming Out: Part 2

Parental Self-Care

By Lisa Tensmeyer Hansen, LMFT About the Author Lisa is clinical director of Flourish Counseling Services, PLLC, a clinic serving families of LGBTQ and SSA teens at Encircle, the youth and family LGBTQ-SSA resource center in Provo, Utah.

“When he told me he only had crushes on boys and that’s why he never dated, I started crying.”

“My son told me not to tell his father that he really feels like a girl. Did I let him play with girls too much?”

“I asked my daughter why her best friend identifies as lesbian, and she told me she thinks she may be one too. I’m sure she is not.”

When teens come out, the world shifts.

Some parents respond with denial, wanting to diminish the news. Others feel anger and want to find out who is responsible. Some parents feel sadness, anticipating a loss of shared values, a loss of future. Denial, anger and sadness are all important aspects of grief processing, and for many parents, responding to a child’s coming out is a grief experience.

Most children talk with their parents only after years of trying to figure out what is really happening inside, and when they finally tell parents, those years are condensed into a moment that – to a parent – may feel like a dropped bomb.

After listening to hundreds of stories of parents responding to their children’s expressions of attraction and identity, I’ve seen how important it is for parents to take care of their own emotional health afterward.* Here are some valuable principles to keep in mind: 1. Take a break to figure yourself out.

Denial, anger, and grief are expected.

However, if your child feels overwhelmed by your denial, anger and grief, then healthy

connecting may be more difficult. Many children “take on” their parents’ reactions and become more isolated. You may want to find another place and time to express and explore your genuine reactions. One mother told her child she loved him and needed some time to figure out her own feelings, and then she spent the afternoon at her sister’s home. Another father immediately called a counselor, reassuring his son that the counseling was intended to help the father provide healthy support for his son.

2. Remind yourself, “This is not a crisis.”

One mother described feeling completely numb. Because Christmas was only a few days away, she felt both the pressure of the family’s expectation and the heaviness of the news. She found that repeating aloud the words, “This is not a crisis” reminded her that their family would still survive despite the new information.

3. It’s normal to feel more upset, even though your child may seem happier. While children often feel relief after sharing feelings with parents, your feelings may begin to resemble a roller-coaster. It may seem unfair that your child has just given you the burden to carry. Breathe through these feelings and recognize that this is normal.

4. Find safe people to share what you are feeling. Your child may insist that you tell no one. And although it’s important to honor your child’s sense of privacy, it’s OK to let your child know that you need to talk with someone. Perhaps you and your child can agree on a trusted family member, friend, or counselor.

5. Limit your contact with others who are uninformed. Sometimes well-meaning friends and family have advice that is not helpful, or that undermines your confidence in yourself and your child. It’s OK to limit your contact with these people for a period of time.

Plan what you will say. “We are working hard to support each other right now and I need to focus on that,” may be helpful to repeat.

6. And finally, when you ask “Why me?” try switching to the question, “Why not me?” and see what strengths you find in yourself. Chances are you are being called to a deeper way of loving your child and yourself. * Self-care for parents comes after expressing love to their teen, (See last issue of Utah Valley Health and Wellness).

Find a Parent Support Group in Utah County

Find a parent support group. Meeting with other parents in similar situations has been a positive emotional turning point for many.

Here are a few in Utah Valley:

a. PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meets weekly at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church in downtown Provo (provopflag@ gmail.com) b. E ncircle Parents’ Meeting (Third Sunday of each month at Encircle in Provo) https:// encircletogether.org/supportgroups

c. N orthstar Parents’ Meeting (Quarterly meeting at a parent’s home in Lehi) https://www.lds.org/blog/navigating-familydifferences-with-love-and-trust?lang=eng

Next time: Coming Out Part 3 – What do we do now?

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COME AS YOU ARE. LGBTQ/SSA FAMILY AND YOUTH COUNSELING PROVO - LISA HANSEN LMFT

LEARN MORE AT: ENCIRCLETOGETHER.ORG/FLOURISH FLOURISHFAMILIES.COM 385-309-1038 26 www.utvalleywellness.com

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By Peter Benson, M.A., LAMFT

The Missing Piece

Have you noticed it? Something in your relationship seems to be missing; waning with time.

You are happy, you and your partner seem to be working well together, but something is missing. Or perhaps you are not happy, you and your partner seem to be fighting more than not, and there is just something amiss. You can’t seem to put your finger on it.

Intimacy It is a possibility that the something missing in your relationship is intimacy. Before discounting this as nonsensical because your sex life is fine, take a look at what intimacy is. Dictionary.com defines intimacy as “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving relationship with another person or group.” Pay particular attention to the words close and familiar. How close or familiar are you with your partner in areas such as their work life? Their hobbies and interests? Their emotions?

Their aspirations?

Becoming close and familiar or intimate with your partner in various areas of life will bind you tight and keep you together through the throes that life would put you through. Building intimacy will fortify and strengthen your relationship.

F A M I LY W E L L N E S S

About the Author Peter Benson is a couple and family therapist at Draper Center for Couples and Families specializing in relational therapy. He loves spending time with his wife and five beautiful daughters.

Types of Intimacy Physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and leisure are all areas that come to mind when speaking of intimacy. When was the last time you grabbed your partner’s hand to reassure them that you are there? What are your partner’s intellectual interests? Can you talk about them or show interest in them? Have you shared something with your partner that struck you spiritually? Would you feel awkward doing so?

Just like investments, diversifying your intimacy will make your relationship more resilient in a slump or a recession. Building new levels of intimacy in new areas may be what your relationship needs.

Building Intimacy In our world, things that are not cared for, tended, and kept up will erode over time. It is the natural order of things. This is also true of intimacy. If intimacy is not cared for, cultivated, and kept up regularly then it will naturally erode, and you may find yourself feeling distant from your partner and not knowing why. This is part of the experience of couples “falling out of love”; they haven’t cultivated connection and familiarity.

As a couple you have the power to keep this from being your story and/or the power to bring that part of your relationship back. Intentionality is what will help you change patterns from erosion to firing on all cylinders and being a thing of beauty. Be intentional about becoming close and familiar with your partner in the many areas of their life.

Sometimes it may feel like you just don’t care about what happened at work or what project your partner wants to work on next. If you can be intentional about showing interest anyway and showing some curiosity about their interests, their hobbies, their work life; you will find yourself feeling closer to your partner. You will be more connected. You will bind yourself to your partner emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and in any other area of your lives that you find will build intimacy.

Taking Action Have you noticed it? Is there a distance between you and your partner? Does it seem like something is missing? Make the move, be intentional. Go with your partner on their walk. Set up a date that isn’t the usual thing you do together. Take fifteen minutes after getting home and find out about your partner’s day. Meditate with your partner and talk about the experience. Talk with your partner about how you want to build intimacy; intimacy that will keep you close and together through thick and thin.

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F A M I LY W E L L N E S S additional studies, overweight kids who participated in vigorous aerobic exercise such as running experience an elevation in self-esteem levels.

Alleviate Anxiety Running and other forms of vigorous exercise can reduce your anxiety and help you relax. The chemicals released during and after exercise can help you calm down. Also, engaging in some moderate-to-high intensity aerobic exercise (HIIT/intervals) can reduce anxiety sensitivity.

By Whitney Hebbert MS, LAMFT You might exercise to improve your physical health and appearance, but did you also know that exercise has serious benefits for your mental health and relationships? It can lead to a healthier and happier life. I ran on the cross country and track team at BYU and as an avid runner and someone who has suffered from postpartum depression, I have reaped the benefits from running for nearly two decades. Running helped me tremendously throughout college, as a young mother, and in my professional life.

Reduce Stress One of the most common mental health benefits of exercise is stress relief. Working out can help you manage physical and mental stress. Exercise also increases amounts of norepinephrine, which moderates your brain’s response to stress. So, working out will reduce stress and increase your body’s ability to deal with existing psychological stress.

Boosting Happy Chemicals Another common mental health benefit to exercise is its increase of endorphins in the brain, which create feelings of happiness and euphoria. Studies have shown that exercise can alleviate symptoms among clinically depressed persons. In some cases, exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication in treating depression. Just 30 minutes a few times a week can instantly boost your mood.

Improve Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem Consistent exercise leads to improved levels of fitness. Physical fitness can boost your self-esteem and improve your self-image.

Regardless of your weight, size, gender or age, exercise can improve your perception of your own attractiveness and selfworth. A study of adolescent girls found that running was linked to their greater self-esteem. Girls who could run more laps at a faster pace reportedly exhibited higher levels of self-esteem. In 28 www.utvalleywellness.com

About the Author Whitney is a licensed associate marriage and family therapist and is a therapist at the American Fork Center for Couples and Families.

Whitney received a masters from BYU in Exercise Science and a masters from California Lutheran University in Counseling Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy. Whitney was an All-American runner in track at BYU and is still an avid runner. She lives in Utah County with her husband and three children.

Help Manage Addiction The brain releases a chemical called dopamine in response to any form of pleasure whether it’s from exercise, sex, drugs, alcohol, food, or shopping.

On a positive note, exercise can help in addiction recovery. Short exercise bouts can effectively distract drug or alcohol addicts causing them to deprioritize cravings in the short-term. Alcohol abuse disrupts many body processes, including circadian rhythms. Thus, alcoholics find that they can’t fall asleep or stay asleep without drinking. Exercise helps reboot your body’s clock and helps you go to sleep at normal time. This leads to better sleep quality. A study from Vanderbilt University found that heavy marijuana users experienced a marked decline in both cravings and daily use after a few sessions of running on a treadmill. Several other studies found that running reduces cravings for other drugs including cocaine, meth, nicotine, and alcohol.

Food can be an addiction when taken to extremes and exercise can help manage food cravings as well. Studies show that after one hour of fast running, participants were more likely to choose healthy foods such as fruits and vegetables over junk food.

Helps the Brain Heal from Substance Abuse Amazingly, studies have found that exercise can help your brain heal from substance abuse even when the drug is as potent as meth. Meth decreases your brain’s production of dopamine and serotonin and burns out their receptors so it is harder for the brain to use dopamine and serotonin. Running helps to re-normalize the function of these two key neurotransmitters, and increases their production.

Although exercise may not completely protect you from mental distress or illness, it definitely has positive effects beyond the gym. Furthermore, the benefits available to you through regular, consistent exercise go beyond your mental and physical health.

When you feel better it affects other aspects of your life such as your relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. Improved mental health can lead to improved relationships and a healthier and happier life.

About the Author

Self Care When Experiencing Parental Alienation

Michelle Jones, LCSW, graduated from Brigham Young University in Clinical Social Work. She is the Director of Concordia Families, a clinic specializing in family-court involved therapy and reunification services. She has worked in Utah in several treatment centers, helping individuals and families for 17 years.

She serves as a member of the executive committee of the National Parents Organization, whose mission is to promote shared parenting and family law reform.

By Michelle Jones, LCSW

Though almost half of marriages in the US end in divorce, most people who divorce successfully transition to their new life within two years. However, about 15% of divorces experience continued litigation. These cases exhibit a high degree of hostility and distrust between the spouses, making it difficult for them to communicate about the care of their children without involving the court. Often in high conflict divorce, it only takes one high conflict person to keep the dispute from resolving. If one spouse is noncompliant with the parenting plan and unwarrantedly denies the other parent access to the children, it compels the blocked parent to fight to not only see their children, but often to defend themselves against false allegations of abuse. The accused parent has two choices: either engage in conflict, or be separated from their precious children.

If you are experiencing denied visitations and an unwarranted campaign of denigration, you are most likely going through parental alienation. Those who have experienced it say it is one of the hardest things they have ever gone through. It requires developing advanced skills in order to cope. Parents who have been successful in dealing with parental alienation have developed the following skills: 1. They sought knowledge. They read about parental alienation in order to understand why it happens, and what they could do to make it less difficult for their children. “Intellectually understanding parental alienation provides an emotional anchor to help make good decisions for yourself and your children.”1 2. Reframe the meaning of your child’s behavior. For example, based on your current situation you may constantly tell yourself, “My child doesn’t love me anymore and never wants to see me again.” Try altering that statement to, “My child still loves me and wants to see me, but he is painted into a corner and is doing what he thinks he has to do in order to survive an experience that is as painful for him as it is for me.”2 3. Stay even-tempered and never retaliate. “A person who reacts in anger is proving the alienator’s point that he or she is unstable.”3 Avoid falling into this trap.

4. Don’t live a victim’s life. Although you are experiencing victimization, don’t live as if you have no power or worth.

Deliberately take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods, stay socially connected, do something spiritual daily, exercise and get out in nature. Do things that you enjoy and that rejuvenate you.

5. Be proactive. Always show up to pick up your kids even if you know they won’t be there. Keep a journal, and document what happens.

6. Take a parenting class. Learn how to understand your children developmentally and respond empathetically. Develop superior parenting skills.

7. Reduce your children’s anxiety. Find ways to reduce their anxiety when they are with you by picking your battles and not engaging in conflict.

8. Never talk bad about your ex to your children. This forces them to align with the other parent against you, and paints you in a bad light.

9. Try to make what little time you have with them positive and fun.

It is through having fun that you gain connection and preserve your attachment.

10. Find an alienation-aware therapist, and get the appropriate support and treatment you need.

Each time you board a plane you are reminded that if the oxygen masks drop, you need to put the mask on yourself first, before helping others. The same is true of parental alienation. You must deliberately take good care of yourself first if you are going to survive emotionally. http://www.womansdivorce.com/alienated-parent.html h ttp://www.majorfamilyservices.com/parents-who-have-successfully-fought-parentalalienation-syndrome-by-jayne-a-major-phd.html

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Utah Valley Health & Wellness Magazine | September/October 2017 29

uvhw |

C U LT U R E

It’s About Family

By Summer Zemp It is hard to be out and about much anymore without running across images of About the Author skeletons or skulls decorated with colorful hearts, flowers and swirls. Assumed by many Summer Zemp is Director to be a more exotic version of traditional Halloween skeletons, this could not be further of Signature Experiences at Thanksgiving Point and from the case. “Sugar Skulls” are iconic symbols of a holiday popular through Latin therapist intern at the Provo America called Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead.

Center for Couples and Far from macabre images its name implies, Dia de los Muertos is a cheerful and Families. happy occasion where families take time to remember all those loved ones that have passed on. It is a holiday with roots spanning hundreds of years, all the way back to ancient Mesoamerica when the Spanish conquistadors brought Catholicism to the New World. Christian religious traditions blended with the existing indigenous, Aztec celebrations and the Dia de los Muertos holiday was born.

Once a year, during the first week in November, tradition tells that the veil between this world and the next thins and the spirits of our passed are invited to return to us. Lured by the familiar scent of cempasuchil (marigolds), and the smell of warm dishes of their favorite foods, the ancestors are invited back to join the living.

One of the most important elements in the celebration of Dia de los Muertos is the altar. Colorful, multilayer constructions are built to honor the dead. From small table-top sized ones to huge elaborate creations filling entire yards, altars and ofrendas (offerings) celebrate the lives of those family members that have passed on. The altars are built with love in an effort to both celebrate the person, and help them find their way back to visit with their living family on Earth.

Like any holiday tradition, altars are very personal creations and reflect individual family and local culture. There are few hard and fast rules to what gets included though there are many common elements.

First are the personal mementos—such as favorite books, musical instruments, photos, letters, flowers, and dishes of delicious favorite foods. Additionally, many symbolic items are added to an altar such as fresh water for the dead to refresh themselves after their long journey, candles representing the cardinal directions and to light the way home. Strings of colorfully and intricately cut paper flags, called papel picado, represent the wind as they flutter with the slightest movement or breeze. Traditional bread called Pan de Muerto represents gratitude for the gifts of the earth and creation and is also a mainstay on most altars.

The end result is a beautiful creation that tells the rich stories of each family’s history. Altars can be found in people’s homes, in cemeteries, churches, and at Dia de los Muertos celebrations throughout the community. When visiting an altar, one should not hesitate to talk to people standing or sitting next to them. Sharing the stories of loved ones with others is a way to bring them to life and one of the loveliest aspects of the holiday. It’s a way for people to connect with the future while remembering the past.

Dia de los Muertos is also a time for not just families to gather but communities as well. Local celebrations like the ones at Thanksgiving Point and Utah Cultural Celebration Center provide incredible opportunities for families to learn about or participate in festivities first hand. They serve as showcases of Latin culture to the broader public in an accessible and meaningful way. Events can feature face painting; traditional creations by artisans; music by mariachi bands and Cantantes; modern, folkloric and Aztec dancing—as well as an opportunity to taste amazing traditional foods while you soak in the flavors of this unique celebration.

As Dia de los Muertos has become more popular and visible thanks in part to growing Latino populations and popular films such as Book of Life, and this year’s upcoming Pixar release Coco, expect to see it only increase in popularity. So, seek out an opportunity to experience this joyous holiday in full color because as long as you have familia, this holiday is for you.

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Dia de los Muertos Celebration at Thanksgiving Point Saturday, October 28, 2017.

11am-8pm For more information visit www.thanksgivingpoint.org

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