3 minute read
By David Kinder
Are Toxic Words Holding You Back From Greater Opportunities and Success?
Have you ever watched some of these business revitalization shows like “Kitchen Nightmares”, “Restaurant: Impossible”, and “Hotel: Impossible”? These are fascinating shows to me, primarily since I grew up in the food service industry.
There’s one thing that’s an unspoken common theme in every single episode of these shows: The owners never took a step back to look at what they were doing with fresh eyes, to view things as their customers might view them. They literally could not see the forest for the trees as the problems were mounting all around them.
Tom Hegna says that we’re no longer in the knowledge business. We’re in the words, language, and stories business. Knowledge is everywhere, including the palm of our hand. We can google anything.
We get paid to convey information in a way that gets people to think differently in order to make new decisions. Words are our toolbox. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but using the wrong words in business will absolutely KILL you and stifle your career and your practice growth.
Imagine with me for a moment: You and I are on a date. (Pretend you like that idea.) We are in an Italian restaurant overlooking the pier. It’s dusk. The candlelight is flickering and the waiter just took our order.
I took into your eyes and take your hand in mine and say: “When I look in your eyes, time stands still.” Pretty good line, right? Or I could say: “Your face could stop a clock.” I think I’d get a far different reaction and I might even need medical attention by the time the date was over. Bottom line: Words matter.
How would you like to guarantee that you hear a ‘no’? I can do it! I have at least two ways to guarantee a ‘no’. Ready? “Would you be interested in…? ”and “I just got involved in…” Can’t you just feel the cringe behind this kind of phrasing? With five simple untrained words, you guaranteed yourself a no.
My definition of a toxic word is any way for someone else to make a value judgment on who they THINK you are...before you share your true value proposition. It’s terms and phrases that instantly judge and categorize who you are and what you do. For example: If you introduce yourself as a life insurance agent, but you structure premium finance deals for business owners and high net worth estates, aren’t you leading with your product
rather than the problems you solve? Plus, do most people have a good understanding of life insurance? Usually not. Aren’t you automatically putting yourself in a proverbial box by not using skilled language?
Some other toxic words: Sell and Sales. It’s unfortunate that the profession of selling cannot use the word ‘sell’ and ‘sales’ in it to describe true professionalism, but it’s today’s reality. In fact, and I hate to say this, but you could often substitute the word ‘assault’ and ‘rape’ for the word sell. People see sales as something being done TO someone rather than for someone’s benefit.
Financial advisor or planner. Everybody seems to either be or know a financial advisor and it’s a phrase that puts you directly into commodity corner. From now on, don’t respond with what you do or what you sell, but with why you do what you do. You can reference my article in last quarter’s issue of The Register on The Never Discussed Niche Market: Shared Attitudes and Beliefs.
I’m a CFP®, ChFC, CLU, RFC®, MRFC®, MSFS, EIEIO, BFD, etc. Now, we are designation/ credential holders as members of the IARFC. We are proud of our designations and credentials that we have worked hard to study
for, qualify for, and ultimately pass. There is a time and a place for it, however, in an initial conversation before scheduling a discovery session with a prospect…probably isn’t it. Our approaches, meetings, and relationship needs to be all about them, not you.
Granted, there should be an appropriate place where you take 30 seconds to brag about yourself…and then you get that topic out of the way and focus exclusively on them. It’s not about you.
