14 minute read
The Cop and The Criminal: An Unlikely Friendship
By Dan Donlin & Tyler Auck
THE COP
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by Dan Donlin
In 1988, I began my law enforcement career as a police officer with the Bismarck Police Department. During my career, I was involved in making hundreds of arrests. I cannot begin to remember the names of every individual I was involved in arresting; however, during an officer’s career, some names just stick with you. During my years working on patrol and as a detective, “Tyler Auck” was one of those names forever embedded in my mind. Any time I heard the name “Tyler Auck,” my immediate thoughts were— and I emphasize the terms were—burglar, thief, drug user, fighter . . . criminal foe!
While I was progressing on a very blessed and successful law enforcement career path, Tyler was progressing down a wicked path of drug and alcohol abuse as well as frequent criminal activity. Tyler’s first arrest was at age 10, his first assault at age 15, his first DUI at age 16, and his first felony arrest at age 17. Ultimately, with our agency alone in a twenty-oneyear period (age 10 to 31), this kid was a suspect in twenty reported cases and was arrested ten times. I would never forget the name “Tyler Auck.” He was definitely headed on the path to prison, or death.
Fast forward to 2015; I was serving in my twentyseventh year of law enforcement and was now the chief of police of the Bismarck Police Department. I had not heard nor even thought of the name “Tyler Auck” since probably about 1998—roughly seventeen years. On September 12, 2015, I attended an early morning event called “March into the Light.” This was a public walk hosted by various entities involved in drug and alcohol addiction/treatment during National Recovery Month. I have a lot of empathy for those struggling with drug and alcohol addiction, and I wanted to show the addiction community that I, and the police, support them in their battle.
I don’t remember exactly how, but all of a sudden, out of the darkness of the morning, within the crowd of participants, I heard someone mention the name “Tyler Auck.” I had not seen Tyler for a very long time and was very unsure of what Tyler would think if, or when, he found out I was among the people there. Well, we were able to meet face to face. I saw him pushing a small child in a stroller, and we shook hands. I was a little hesitant as to what to say to him, but he immediately apologized to me for all the havoc he had created for the police in his past. I told him, “Hey, that’s okay, we all make mistakes.” He went on to briefly tell me about his recovery and his recent life. All I could think was, “WOW! What a turnaround this guy has made,” and I was very happy for him. We participated in the event and parted ways; I wished him good luck.
Since this chance meeting, Tyler and I have become good friends and partners in educating and working with the community on drug and alcohol addiction issues. I have witnessed Tyler on statewide addiction panels and committees, and he is not afraid to tell his story. I have learned of the personal horror this “kid” has gone through in his lifetime, including the extreme challenge it is to battle addiction, get sober, and maintain his recovery. If anybody has an excuse to do drugs and alcohol for self-medicinal purposes— to forget the pain—Tyler has it! But Tyler has made the choice to fight the fight and maintain his sobriety in a healthy recovery. He has told me many times, “I just want to right the wrongs I did in my past.” The past, as horrific as it is for Tyler, has made him who he is today; a husband, a father, a family man, a man fighting to stay in a healthy sobriety. A man working a full-time job, raising a family, and attending college to obtain his degree to become a licensed addiction counselor—and he is now interning as an addiction counselor at one of the top treatment facilities in the Upper Midwest.
Today, Tyler and I will meet for coffee and talk about old times, drugs and alcohol, addiction issues, our families, and what lies ahead in our futures. We laugh when he says, “I can’t believe I have the police chief’s personal cell phone number.” He invited my family to his son’s birthday party; wow, what an unlikely friendship. Tyler tells me he looks up to me, but it is I who look up to Tyler. He has gone through more difficulty and struggles in life than I can even dream of, let alone have ever actually had to deal with.
It is my honor to call Tyler Auck my friend. No one can understand the hell he and others like him have had to go through to make it where he is today. I’m glad he crawled out of hell screaming and fighting, because this man is making a positive difference. Now when I hear the name “Tyler Auck,” my immediate thoughts are: friend, success, integrity, compassionate, helper, credible, forgiver, family man, conqueror . . . hero! Tyler, friend, you are a positive role model and I couldn’t be any more proud of you than I already am.
DAN DONLIN is a lifelong Bismarck resident and has completed twenty nine years of service with the Bismarck Police Department. He is a graduate of St. Mary’s Central High School and the University of Mary. His law enforcement experience includes working in patrol, investigations, police youth bureau as public information officer, and fifteen years on the SWAT team. He is a 2003 graduate of the FBI National Academy and became chief of police for his hometown department in 2013.
Dan Donlin & Tyler Auck
THE (EX-)CRIMINAL
by Tyler Auck
My life in addiction started from the time I was born. My family was damaged by the disease of addiction many generations before me, and it will continue for many generations to come. Growing up in a home where addiction ran rampant, l experienced physical abuse, verbal abuse, and pure mental torture as a young child. My young green eyes saw things that no child should ever have to experience. My innocence was taken from me one horrible moment at a time. Sometimes I look at pictures of myself as a child; I look into those innocent eyes and see the pain and feel the fear that still haunts me today.
In 1989, I tried my first drink, and it was the most amazing feeling in the entire world. I felt stronger than Superman, but in reality, I was so drunk that I couldn’t get up off the ground. This simple act of experimentation lit the fire of addiction in my soul, and I was instantly a full-blown addict. My disease progressed until it became stronger than life itself. After the alcohol, I tried marijuana, followed by pills, cocaine, and methamphetamine. You name it and I would do it. I took great pride in my using and in my ability to consume more alcohol and drugs than anyone else around me.
Even before my first use I was involved in some simple assaults, vandalism, and lots of fights that I was never arrested for. But once chemicals were added to my system, all of the horrible violent behaviors escalated and had a negative impact on my life, my community, and everyone else who happened to get in the way of my addiction.
My path of pain and destruction began early. At the age of 15 or 16, I was raped by an older woman because I was too drunk to defend myself. At 16, I received my first DUI and experienced a couple of alcohol- and drug-related overdoses. By the time I was 17, I had already been arrested several times and was well known to law enforcement and the community as a thug and drug user. During this time my drinking escalated to expert level. I would wake up in the morning already shaking and craving some sort of chemical to ease the demons inside of me. I felt as if my choice to not use was taken away one second at a time. As I fell deeper into my hole of addiction and pain, I became desperate. I started to burglarize businesses as a way to fuel the fire inside of me for adrenaline and the high that I craved. I was slowly dying, and each day I tried harder and harder to help death along.
During this time, “Dan Donlin” was a name that I heard often, because he was one of the lead detectives assigned to investigate me. I hated law enforcement, because they were hindering my ability to feed my addiction and trying to stop the rampage and chaos that was my life. In a sick and twisted way, I was enjoying it and was secretly proud of the fact that law enforcement couldn’t pin anything on me. But soon enough, my luck ran out. By the time I turned 18, I was facing several criminal charges, including burglary, assault, and theft of property. They were going to try me as an adult, and I was facing thirty-five years in prison. Somehow, I managed to slip by with house arrest and probation. Most would think that this would have been my rock bottom or a wakeup call, but it never even slowed me down.
In 1994, I moved to Boulder, Colorado. I needed a fresh start, to get away from Bismarck, Dan Donlin, and all of the people and things that were out to get me. It also helped that I heard there were lots of drugs there, too. Once I was established in Colorado, things got worse for me. My addiction picked up right where it left off, and the violence and self-induced bad luck continued. (For a long time, I was convinced that Bismarck Police Department called ahead and told them about me.) I was broken and out of hope. I ended up with a criminal record in Colorado and was forced to move back to Bismarck with a degree in LSD, marijuana, cocaine, heroin, and drug-dealing.
In 2001, I married a girl back in Bismarck, and over the next seven years, our lives and relationship spun out of control. During this time, my violent behaviors started to slow but my disease became increasingly worse. My addiction tricked me into thinking that I had major medical problems, and over an eleven-year period, I had twelve surgeries. In reality, I probably only needed two; the others were just a way to get pain meds. My wife and I started to get meds from veterinarian clinics to feed our habit. Methamphetamine was also a huge part of our daily lives. I was hospitalized on a regular basis and lied, cheated, and sold drugs to get what I needed. By 2009, our marriage was over and the thoughts of suicide that plagued me early in life reared their ugly head, and I made yet another attempt to take my life by placing a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger. For some reason, my higher power had other plans in store for me, and the gun failed to fire.
During the divorce, I checked myself into treatment with the hope of saving my marriage. I had been through many treatment centers before, and inevitably, this one failed as well. I had not yet felt enough pain in order for me to stay sober. Over the next couple of years, I managed to put together about eleven months of sobriety, but I could not find peace or happiness. I crashed once again and went on a three-week violent, suicidal, meth-and-opiate-induced rampage. Finally, I had had enough, and on January 5, 2011, I checked myself into the Heartview Foundation.
Since that cold, miserable, beautiful day, I have remained sober and in recovery with the help of so many wonderful people. In February 2011, I met the girl of my dreams, and we formed a beautiful relationship and married in 2012. We have a home that is filled with recovery. We have two children together, and my wife has one child from a previous relationship. It is such a beautiful gift to have a woman that I love so much, and to have her back and know that she has mine, even after learning about my past. My wife is in law enforcement, and on several occasions, we have run into my old friends. They ask if that’s the “side” I’m on now, and my response is “yes”! Today, I am ethical and law-abiding, and I support the love of my life and the Thin Blue Line.
Over the next several years, I often thought about my life of destruction and the pain I had caused others. Then, on a cold day in early 2015, I was in a skid steer, clearing snow on the south side of the state capitol when I saw a man walking into the building. My stomach got a sick feeling and my heart raced. My eyes zeroed in on Dan Donlin—the man that, so many years before, I had hated and despised. But this day was different. The hatred was gone, replaced with so much guilt and shame. I wanted to jump out of my machine and run to him, to tell him how sorry I was for all the chaos and damage that I had done to our community and to the Bismarck Police Department, but that particular day, I could not fight past the fear and shame and bring myself to do it.
Then, in September 2015, I was asked to speak at the “March into the Light” recovery walk organized by Face It Together. It was dark and cold as my family and I huddled together around the shelter. In my head, I was rehearsing the few words I had prepared to say to the crowd. Suddenly Dan Donlin, chief of police, was introduced as the first speaker. My immediate thought was to run, but I couldn’t. I made a commitment to do this, and I was going to see it through. When Dan finished speaking, they called me up front, handed me the microphone, and I said, “My name is Tyler Auck, and I have been sober since January 5, 2011. Dan used to investigate me—Hi, Dan.” Through the darkness and the fear, I heard a voice say, “Hi, Tyler.” I finished speaking and walked through the crowd to shake the hand of the man that I once hated and feared. I was greeted with a big hug and the words, “I am proud of you, Tyler.” Then, we walked. I pushed my little boy, Charlie, in a stroller and held my wife Amber’s hand as our daughter, Tess, walked next to us. We took a stand for recovery and the people still out there suffering from the disease of addiction. After the walk, we all stood around and talked to the man who was once one of my biggest enemies. That morning something very beautiful happened between a cop and an ex-criminal, and from that moment on we formed a wonderful friendship. We have coffee and talk about life, family, and what we can do as human beings to make a difference in our community. Dan and I joke around sometimes in disbelief that we have each other’s personal cell phone numbers. In 2016, Dan and his family came to my little boy’s second birthday. The man who once built a criminal case against me is now one of my biggest supporters in life and in my recovery. I’m proud that today he calls me “friend.”
On May 27, 2017, I sit in front of my computer putting all of these thoughts down on paper as my beautiful family is in the background, giggling and full of life. I often say that my life is full of broken gifts. They may have been delivered to me in the ugliest, most horrifying package, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Today, I am blessed with a beautiful family, great friends, over six years of recovery, and the privilege to intern at the Heartview Foundation to become a licensed addiction counselor and help people just like me and you. This story is more than just a criminal and a cop. It is about breaking down the barriers our communities face each day. It shows that change is possible, and no matter how far down the hole of addiction and pain we fall, there is hope! l
TYLER AUCK was born and raised in Bismarck, ND. He graduated from Bismarck High in 1993. Tyler is attending Minot State University and will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in addiction studies in fall 2017. He is also currently an Addiction Counselor in training at the Heartview Foundation. Tyler has served on numerous opioid panels throughout the state to help combat the drug epidemic that is plaguing our communities. He is an inspirational speaker and a member of the ThinkND Blue Ribbon panel.
