Bayou Catholic Magazine September 2019

INSIDE Marriage

Bayou

Catholic

It’s school time again SEPTEMBER 2019 ~ VOL. 40 NO. 3 ~ COMPLIMENTARY

Faith in Our People

Hope for Our Future

Love for Louisiana and the Bayou Region

A Busy Bee ... Ÿ Who will make decisions based on her conservative Catholic values

to preserve our culture and better our Bayou region. Ÿ Who will work to ensure continued funding for restoring our coast, protecting our homes, businesses, and our way of life. Ÿ Who will inspire hope for our schools, enacting legislation that will return respect to our classrooms.

e t o VDr. Brenda Leroux Babin State Senate, District 20 #BabinForTheBayou

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Saturday, September 21, 2019

8 am – 11 am FREE FLU SHOTS FOR PEOPLE AGES 18+!

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Contents

Features 18 Locals receive national awards

By Janet Marcel

26

Diocesan summit

By Janet Marcel

30

Blessed Mother mural

By Lawrence Chatagnier

Columns 7 Comfort For My People

By Bishop Shelton J. Fabre

11

Pope Speaks

Pope Francis I

12

Questions of Faith

By Father Joshua Rodrigue, S.T.L.

14

Readings Between the Lines

By Father Glenn LeCompte

24

A Deacon’s Wife’s Confessions

By Angie Lefevre

25

Reading With Raymond

By Raymond Saadi

52 Overtime

By Ed Daniels

Guest Column 36 On being Catholic

By Agnes Bitature

In Every Issue 6 From the Editor 16 Scripture Readings 20 Youth In Action 22 Heavenly Recipes 33 Daily Prayer for Priests,

On Our Cover

LAWRENCE CHATAGNIER/BAYOU CATHOLIC

Bishop Shelton J. Fabre visits with St. Bernadette Catholic Elementary School students at the beginning of the school year. In his column the bishop writes about the importance of intentional learning.

4 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

Deacons and Seminarians

39 Diocesan Events Announcements 28 Catholic Foundation Update 40 Racial sobriety workshop Oct. 5 41 Two new deans appointed 42 Eucharistic Procession Oct. 5 45 Catholic Charismatic Revival Oct. 19 46 Filipino Mass Sept. 29

Bayou Catholic Heavenly Recipes

How to reach us:

BY PHONE: (985) 850-3132

BY MAIL: P.O. Box 505 Schriever, LA 70395

20

18

Druis “Teet” Trahan

BY FAX: (985) 850-3232

BY E-MAIL: bayoucatholic@htdiocese.org

The Bayou Catholic is published monthly, for the people of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux by the H-T Publishing Co., P.O. Box 505, Schriever, LA 70395.

Subscription rate is $35 per year.

TASTY TREAT 22

This month’s heavenly recipe, shrimp boulettes, comes rom Chauvin native Druis “Teet” Trahan. Druis and his wife Maranda have been married for 48 years. She is retired from the United States Postal Service and Druis is retired from Texaco.

When Druis was first employed by the oil company he started working as a galley hand in the kitchen. “I picked up how to ook while working as a galley hand. I worked for different ooks over about a four-year period. I would learn from each one and eventually put my own style of cooking into what I would prepare. My mom did most of the cooking at home. She was a very good cook. I wish I would have paid a little more attention to how she cooked.”

Druis and Maranda met at Big John’s a seafood restaurant/ dance hall in Dulac. “Big John’s was a large place that served eafood during the day and on weekend nights was a dance hall. I met her one day when I brought my niece here. While waiting on my niece, Maranda and I poke to each other. The next time I went we met and talked again. We had a few more dates the ollowing months and got to know each other a ittle better. We wanted to go trawling together but her parents did not like the idea of us being ogether for days and not married. We got married on a Saturday before the May trawling season

30

Shrimp Boulettes

Lawrence Chatagnier

editor and general manager

INGREDIENTS: quart of shrimp peeled 1/4 bell pepper 1 rib of celery 1 medium potato 1 large onion (yellow) 1 egg 1/2 tsp. garlic powder 1 tsp. baking powder 2 tbsps. flour 1 tbsp. parsley 1 tbsp. onion tops seasoning to taste

26

DIRECTIONS:

April LeBouef

business manager

Janet Marcel

staff writer/administrative assistant

Brooks Lirette

advertising accounts executive

Lisa Schobel Hebert graphic designer

Meridy Liner

accounts receivable/payable assistant

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Grind shrimp, onion, bell pepper, celery, potato,or Find us on the web parsley and onion tops in a large mixing bowl.

Then www.bayoucatholic.org add the remaining ingredients and mix well. Heat about an inch of oil to 250 degrees in a black iron skillet. Drop about a tablespoon of the to mixture in Bayou the Catholic Where find your hot grease and fry until golden brown on each side. can be found Bayou Catholic magazine at all Catholic Makes about 2 dozen (depending on thechurches spoon and sizeCatholic schools throughout the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux. used).

To pick up a copy, you may also visit the merchants who advertise in our issue. Those wishing to receive the magazine by mail can at (985) 850-3132 for large events. call “I’llJanet cookMarcel a jambalaya or a or write Bayou Catholic, who P.O. Box gumbo for one oftomy daughters works 505, Schriever, LA 70395. at a school. I also like to make Subscription price crackling. is $35 When cooking annually. for large I edition, measure Forevents the online go to www.bayoucatholic.com the amounts by the pound. It’s cooking

h

Marriage 53

h

Druis Cooks a:

The Bayou Catholic is a member of the Catholic Press Association, the National Newspaper Association and an associate member of the Louisiana Press Association.

CRYSTAL SANDERSON PHOTOGRAPHY

on a large scale.”

Druis2019 says that he and his family has Catholic • 5 September • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou

been blessed by God over the years. “God has been watching over us all our lives. He

From the Editor

Time to stop the hate

Why all the hate? It seems there is much hate going around these days in our country. Is it because of the fact that news is accessible 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and we hear more about hate crimes in our country? Or, are hate and hate crimes on the rise?

For the fourth year in a row, the Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil rights organization that tracks hate groups, reports that hate and domestic extremism are rising in an unabated trend. The center found a 30 percent increase in U.S. hate groups over the past four years and a seven percent increase in hate groups in 2018 alone, according to the center’s annual “Year in Hate and Extremism” report. The group designated 1,020 organizations as hate groups in 2018, a high of at least 20 years.

The watchdog group partly blames the ease of spreading hate on social media platforms for the alarming increase. The growth, it says, is largely driven by “hysteria over losing a white-majority nation to demographic change.”

The Southern Poverty Law Center is a revered civil rights watchdog group that has been around since 1971.

It is credited with dealing the final blows to the Ku Klux Klan through legal battles. The center found that the majority of hate groups in the United States are driven by white supremacist ideology including neoNazis; the Ku Klux Klan, which is on the decline; white nationalists, racist skinheads, and neo-Confederates.

Following the recent shootings in El Paso, TX, Catholic News Agency published the following article which can be found at (https:// www.catholicnewsagency.com/

news/gomez-white-america-is-amyth-36271).

In his Aug. 13 column, Archbishop Jose Gomez of Los Angeles wrote that the white nationalism that motivated the mass shooting is a sign that the U.S. has lost touch with the Christian ideals of the nation’s founding. He called Christians to give witness to the common humanity of all people.

“In the 22 dead in El Paso, and the two dozen more wounded, in the children left with no parents, in the shattered security of a peaceful border town, we are left with some hard questions about what our nation is becoming,” said the archbishop.

The perpetrator of the Aug. 3 mass shooting in El Paso, in which 22 people were killed at a Walmart, is reported to have posted online a white nationalist manifesto shortly before his attack.

His post lamented a “Hispanic invasion” in the U.S., decried intermarriage between Hispanics and white Americans, and criticized Democratic and Republican politicians, while noting that some Republican policies might reduce “mass immigration.”

“If ‘white nationalism’ is on the rise, it is a sign of how far we have fallen from the Christian universalism of our nation’s founding ideals,’ Gomez wrote.

The archbishop, who is an immigrant to the United States from Mexico, added, “El Paso hit me in a personal way. My family is Mexican and American, and we trace our roots back to the early 1800s in what is now Texas; I lived much of my adult life there, including my five years as Archbishop of San Antonio,” he added.

“But El Paso is more than personal. With El Paso a line has been crossed in our nation.”

“In recent years, we have seen the evil of African Americans being targeted in racist terror attacks, notably with the church shooting in Charleston, South Carolina, in 2015. With El Paso, for the first time, a massacre has been carried out in the name of stopping Mexican migration,’ Gomez noted.

6 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

“In Jesus Christ, there is no Mexican or black, no Vietnamese, Chinese, Korean or Filipino, no Russian or Italian, African or Salvadoran, no migrant or nativeborn,” the archbishop wrote, adding that human dignity must always be respected.

“The humanity of others is never negotiable. Men and women do not become less than human, less a child of God, because they are ‘undocumented.’ Yet, in our nation, it has become common to hear migrants talked about and treated as if they are somehow beneath caring about.”

“The myth that America was founded by and for white people is just that — a myth,” he wrote.

“This land was born as an encounter of cultures, first with Native Americans. Hispanics arrived in Texas in 1519. Asians started arriving in California about 50 years before the pilgrims made it to Plymouth Rock.”

Noting that Spanish was spoken in North America well before English was, Gomez added that “this country has always been renewed, again and again, by successive waves of immigrants from every nation on earth.”

In response to racism, the archbishop said, Catholics “need to help our society to see our common humanity — that we are all children of God, meant to live together as brothers and sisters, no matter the color of our skin, the language we speak, or the place we were born.”

“The way we honor the lives taken at El Paso is to live with true Christian love — and to live for the vision of America that their killer denied,” Gomez concluded.

Remember, after reading Bayou Catholic, pass it on to a friend or relative who might not be attending Mass. It’s one of the great ways to do your part in spreading the Good News! BC

Lawrence

Lawrence Chatagnier Editor & General Manager

Comment

Focused and intentional learning can free us to become who God is calling us to be

Bishop Shelton J. Fabre

After a summer of leisure, students, teachers, school staff and administrators have embarked upon a new school year. What do you think about when you see the words “back to school”?

Perhaps you recall a joke about children going back to school and parents getting some precious time back. Possibly you breathe a sigh of relief as you realize that those days are behind you. Recall what those words bring to mind for you. Maybe there are fond memories of exciting events, or rewarding yet grueling hours devoted to projects. However, compare this with a time where simple learning changed your life. Maybe when you learned to ride a bicycle or tie your shoes. Though it is important, not all learning needs to be a passive absorbing of crucial facts.

Intentional learning about additional important things frees us to become who God is calling us to be.

Learning in an academic setting is the most important form of learning, but it is only one form of learning.

Recall again a time when learning really changed your world. Was it burdensome? What if more of our learning was transformative or learning that mattered to you? Our capacity to learn, communicate, and work together is God’s greatest gift to us. These gifts allow us to pursue truth as our highest calling, with God as the highest and most beautiful truth to be sought out.

Recall with me the experience of Helen Keller. Blind and deaf from birth, Helen was a troubled child until one day her teacher helped her connect the sensation of flowing water with the sign language for the word “water.”

Helen’s cramped world suddenly expanded with this one simple lesson.

Further, it ignited her desire to learn and opened up a whole new world to her. By harnessing our power to learn and turning it toward the things that we are passionate about, we can unleash our greatest abilities to do good. We exchange our guessing and struggling for true excellence. We can confidently look for answers when we are confident that there are answers to be found.

We have the daily opportunity to make our learning and development a more intentional effort. Maybe even as you have read thus far you are being brought to places where your learning could grow. Go out and find what you need. There are teachers and mentors all around waiting to be asked.

Likewise, find something you are passionate about that you can develop.

The things that inspire us have special power to keep us going when everyone else would have given up. If you are unsure what to do, try a number of things until you find what you love.

Using our passions in a constructive way can sharpen us into excellent persons. Further, each of us has this capacity. You have inherently within you that capacity to become the person that God created you to be. Stir up into action this gift that God has given you.

There will always be work required to be molded into what God has created us to be. However, if we do nothing, the forces of life will haphazardly mold us. If instead we want things to be different, we must do something different.

In all of this I am not saying that more

education makes a person happier, as if signing up for the correct courses will dissolve life’s difficulties. Life is neither that simple nor learning that powerful.

I am saying that intentional learning is a good first step to a happier life. Allow the good things that excite you to push you. This is literally why each of us was made to offer the gifts that God gives us back to him in our service to others.

Focused and intentional learning about the most important things can free us to fully become who God is calling us to be. Let us ask God to bless our intentional efforts at learning this year, both in an academic setting and indeed everywhere. BC

“

By harnessing our power to learn and turning it toward the things that we are passionate about, we can unleash our greatest abilities to do good.

We exchange our guessing and struggling for true excellence.

“

Comfort For My People

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 7

Comentario

El aprendizaje enfocado y planeado puede liberarnos para llegar a ser lo que Dios nos llama a ser Helen se expandió repentinamente con esta simple lección. Además, encendió su deseo de aprender y le abrió todo un nuevo mundo. Aprovechando nuestro poder de aprender y volviéndolo hacia las cosas que nos apasionan, podemos desatar nuestras mayores habilidades para hacer el bien. Intercambiamos nuestras conjeturas y luchamos por la verdadera excelencia. Podemos buscar con confianza las respuestas cuando estamos seguros de que hay respuestas que encontrar.

Tenemos la oportunidad diaria de hacer de nuestro aprendizaje y desarrollo un esfuerzo más predeterminado. Tal vez incluso mientras has leído hasta ahora, estás siendo llevado a lugares donde tu aprendizaje podría crecer.

Sal y encuentra lo que necesitas. Hay maestros y mentores por todas partes esperando que se les pregunte. Del mismo modo, encuentra algo que te apasione y que puedas desarrollar. Las cosas que nos inspiran tienen un poder especial para mantenernos en marcha cuando todos los demás se habrían dado por vencidos. Si no está seguro de qué hacer, pruebe una serie de cosas hasta que encuentre lo que le gusta.

Usar nuestras pasiones de una manera constructiva puede convertirnos en personas excelentes.

Además, cada uno de nosotros tiene esta capacidad. Tienes inherentemente dentro de ti esa capacidad de convertirte en la persona para la que Dios te creó.

Pon en acción este don que Dios te ha dado. Siempre habrá trabajo requerido para ser moldeado en lo que Dios nos ha creado para ser. Sin embargo, si no hacemos nada, las fuerzas de la vida nos moldearán al azar. Si en cambio queremos que las cosas sean diferentes, debemos hacer algo diferente.

En todo esto no estoy diciendo que más educación hace más feliz a una persona, como si inscribirse en los cursos correctos fuera a disolver las dificultades de la vida. La vida no

8 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

es tan simple ni tan poderosa. Estoy diciendo que el aprendizaje planeado es un buen primer paso hacia una vida más feliz. Permite que las cosas buenas que te motivan te empujen.

Esta es literalmente la razón por la que cada uno de nosotros fue hecho para ofrecer los dones que Dios nos da devolviendolo en nuestro servicio a los demás. El aprendizaje enfocado y predeterminado sobre las cosas más importantes puede liberarnos para convertirnos plenamente en lo que Dios nos llama a ser. Pidamos a Dios que bendiga nuestros esfuerzos planeados por aprender este año, tanto en un ambiente académico como en cualquier otro lugar. BC

“

Aprovechando nuestro poder de aprender y volviéndolo hacia las cosas que nos apasionan, podemos desatar nuestras mayores habilidades para hacer el bien.

Intercambiamos nuestras conjeturas y luchamos por la verdadera excelencia.

“

Después de unas vacaciones de verano, los estudiantes, profesores, personal de la escuela y administradores han ingresado a un nuevo año escolar. ¿Qué piensas cuando ves las palabras “regresar a la escuela”?

Quiza recuerde un dicho acerca de que los niños regresan a la escuela y los padres obtienen un tiempo precioso.

Posiblemente usted respira tranquilo al darse cuenta de que esos días han quedado atrás. Recuerda lo que esas palabras te traen a la mente. Tal vez haya buenos recuerdos de eventos emocionantes, o de horas gratificantes pero agotadoras dedicadas a los proyectos. Sin embargo, compárelo con una época en la que el simple aprendizaje cambió su vida. Tal vez cuando aprendiste a andar en bicicleta o a atarte los zapatos. Aunque es importante, no todo el aprendizaje debe ser una absorción pasiva de hechos cruciales. El aprendizaje intencional de otras cosas importantes nos libera para convertirnos en lo que Dios nos llama a ser.

El aprendizaje en un entorno académico es la forma más importante de aprendizaje, pero es sólo una forma de aprendizaje. Recuerden de nuevo un tiempo en el que el aprendizaje realmente cambió su mundo. ¿Fue oneroso? ¿Qué pasaría si más de lo que aprendimos fuera transformador o aprendizaje que le importara a usted? Nuestra capacidad de aprender, comunicarnos y trabajar juntos es el mayor regalo de Dios para nosotros.

Estos dones nos permiten perseguir la verdad como nuestro más alto llamado, con Dios como la más alta y hermosa verdad a ser buscada.

Recuerda conmigo la experiencia de Helen Keller. Ciega y sorda de nacimiento, Helen fue una niña con problemas hasta que un día su maestra la ayudó a conectar la sensación de agua que fluye con el lenguaje de señas para la palabra “agua”. El mundo estrecho de

LAWRENCE CHATAGNIER/BAYOU CATHOLIC

Binh luan bang loi

H Chú tâm và cố gắng học tập có thể giải thoát chúng ta để trở thành người mà Thiên Chúa muốn kêu gọi chúng ta trở thành với cô. Bằng việc khai thác năng lực học hỏi của chúng ta và biến nó thành những thứ mà chúng ta đam mê, chúng ta có thể khai phóng các khả năng tốt nhất của mình để làm điều tốt. Chúng ta trao đổi sự suy đoán của mình và đấu tranh cho điều tốt đẹp thật sự. Chúng ta có thể tự tin tìm kiếm câu trả lời khi chúng ta tự tin rằng luôn luôn có những câu trả lời.

Chúng ta có cơ hội hằng ngày để làm cho việc học tập và phát triển của chúng ta trở thành một nỗ lực có chủ ý hơn. Có thể ngay cả khi những gì bạn đã đọc cho đến nay, bạn đang được đưa đến những nơi mà việc học của bạn có thể phát triển. Hãy đi ra ngoài và tìm những gì bạn cần. Có những người giáo viên và cố vấn chung quanh đang chờ đợi để được hỏi. Tương tự như vậy, hãy tìm một cái gì đó bạn đam mê mà bạn có thể phát triển. Những điều truyền cảm hứng cho chúng ta có được năng lực đặc biệt để giúp chúng ta tiếp tục tiến bước, đang khi những người khác sẽ bỏ cuộc. Nếu bạn không chắc những gì phải làm, hãy thử một số việc cho đến khi bạn tìm thấy những gì bạn yêu thích.

Việc xử dụng niềm đam mê của mình một cách xây dựng có thể giúp chúng ta trở thành những người xuất sắc. Hơn nữa, mỗi người trong chúng ta đều có khả năng này. Bạn vốn đã có sẵn trong bạn khả năng đó để trở thành người mà Chúa tạo ra bạn để trở thành. Hãy khơi dậy hành động về món quà mà Chúa đã ban cho bạn. Sẽ luôn có những công việc cần thiết để được đúc nặn ra những gì Chúa đã dựng nên chúng ta để trở thành.

Tuy nhiên, nếu chúng ta không làm gì, các năng lực của cuộc sống sẽ đúc nặn chúng ta một cách bừa bãi. Nếu thay vào đó chúng ta muốn mọi thứ trở nên khác biệt, chúng ta phải làm một điều gì đó khác biệt.

Qua tất cả những điều này, tôi không nói rằng sự giáo dục nhiều hơn sẽ làm cho một người hạnh phúc hơn, vì nếu ghi danh các khóa học đúng đắn thích hợp sẽ làm tan biến những khó khăn trong cuộc sống. Cuộc sống không quá đơn

10 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

giản và việc học cũng không quá uy thế.

Tôi đang nói rằng việc học tập có chủ ý là bước đầu tiên tốt để có một cuộc sống hạnh phúc hơn. Hãy để cho những điều tốt đẹp kích thích bạn, thúc đẩy bạn. Đây là nghĩa đen tại sao mỗi người chúng ta được tạo ra để dâng lại những món quà mà Chúa đã ban cho chúng ta trong việc phục vụ người khác. Chú tâm học hỏi về những điều quan trọng nhất có thể giải thoát chúng ta để hoàn toàn trở thành người mà Chúa muốn kêu gọi chúng ta trở thành. Chúng ta hãy xin Chúa chúc lành cho những nỗ lực có chủ ý của chúng ta trong việc học năm nay, cả trong môi trường học tập và ở khắp mọi nơi. BC

“

Bằng việc khai thác năng lực học hỏi của chúng ta và biến nó thành những thứ mà chúng ta đam mê, chúng ta có thể khai phóng các khả năng tốt nhất của mình để làm điều tốt. Chúng ta trao đổi sự suy đoán của mình và đấu tranh cho điều tốt đẹp thật sự.

“

Sau một mùa hè thoải mái, học sinh, giáo viên, nhân viên nhà trường và các quản trị viên đã bắt đầu một năm học mới. Bạn nghĩ sao khi thấy những từ ngữ “trở lại trường học”?

Có lẽ bạn nhớ lại một câu chuyện vui về việc trẻ em đi học trở lại và cha mẹ có được một khoảng thời gian quý giá.

Có thể bạn thở phào nhẹ nhõm khi bạn nhận ra rằng những ngày đó đang ở phía sau bạn. Hãy nhớ lại những gì mà những từ ngữ đó mang lại cho tâm trí bạn. Có thể có những kỷ niệm đẹp về các sự kiện thú vị, hoặc những giờ phút bổ ích nhưng mệt mỏi dành cho các dự án. Tuy nhiên, so sánh điều này với thời gian mà việc học tập đơn giản đã thay đổi cuộc sống của bạn. Có thể khi bạn tập cách đi xe đạp hoặc buộc dây giày. Mặc dù nó rất quan trọng, nhưng không phải tất cả việc học phải là một sự tiếp thu thụ động với các sự kiện quan trọng. Chú tâm học tập về những điều quan trọng khác sẽ giải thoát chúng ta để trở thành người mà Chúa muốn kêu gọi chúng ta trở thành.

Học tập trong môi trường lớp học là hình thức học tập quan trọng nhất, nhưng nó chỉ là một hình thức học tập. Hãy nhớ lại một lần nữa khi việc học thật sự thay đổi thế giới của bạn. Đó có phải là gánh nặng không? Điều gì sẽ xảy ra nếu việc học tập của chúng ta thay đổi hoặc học tập là điều quan trọng với bạn? Khả năng học hỏi, giao tiếp và làm việc cùng nhau của chúng ta là món quà lớn nhất của Thiên Chúa dành cho chúng ta. Những món quà này cho phép chúng ta theo đuổi sự thật như ơn gọi cao cả nhất của chúng ta, với Thiên Chúa là sự thật cao đẹp nhất được tìm kiếm.

Tôi nhớ lại kinh nghiệm của cô Helen Keller. Bị mù và điếc từ bẩm sinh, Helen là một đứa trẻ khốn khổ cho đến một ngày, cô giáo đã giúp cô kết nối cảm giác của nước chảy với ngôn ngữ ký hiệu cho hạn từ “nước”. Đột nhiên, thế giới bé nhỏ của Helen được mở ra bằng một bài học đơn giản này. Hơn nữa, nó kích thích lòng ham muốn học hỏi của cô và mở ra một thế giới hoàn toàn mới đối

Comment

True wealth is found in Jesus Christ, not money, Pope Francis says The Pope Speaks

Vatican City, (CNA) Pope Francis Wednesday criticized those who give more consideration to money than the sacraments or helping others find true wealth – a relationship with Jesus Christ.

“How many times do I think of this when I see some parishes where it is thought that money is more important than the sacraments! Please! A poor Church: let us ask the Lord for this,” the pope said Aug. 7.

The Gospel teaches to not put trust in financial resources, but in “the true wealth” that is a relationship with Jesus Christ, he said. “We are indeed – as St. Paul would say – ‘poor, but capable of enriching many; as people who have nothing and instead possess everything.’”

“And we, each of us, what do we own? What is our wealth, our treasure?

What can we make others rich with?” he asked.

“Our all is the Gospel, which manifests the power of the name of Jesus who performs wonders.”

“Here the portrait of the Church appears, which sees those in difficulty, does not close its eyes, knows how to look humanity in the face to create meaningful relationships, bridges of friendship and solidarity instead of barriers,” he said.

After a month-long break from general audiences, Pope Francis resumed his catechesis on the Acts of the Apostles, reflecting on the book’s first account of disciples performing a miraculous healing.

In the episode, Peter and John are going to the temple to pray when they encounter a crippled man who had been carried to sit outside the gate called “the Beautiful Gate” to beg for alms.

Francis explained that at that time, people with physical disabilities were not allowed to offer sacrifices inside the temple, or even to enter, because it was believed their infirmity was due to their sin or sins of their parents.

As Peter and John entered the temple, they saw the man and Peter said, “look at us.” The crippled man looked back at the disciples, then Peter said, “I have neither silver nor gold, but what I do have I give you: in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean, (rise and) walk.”

Then Peter took him by the hand and raised him up. The man, crippled from birth, “leaped up, stood, and walked around, and went into the temple

with them, walking and jumping and praising God.” “This is the ‘art of accompaniment,’” Pope Francis said. “This [is what] the two disciples do with the cripple. They see him, they say look at us, they give a hand, they help him rise, and they heal him.”

“This is what Jesus does for all of us,” he added. “When we are in bad moments, in moments of sin, in moments of sadness. We say to Jesus: Look at me. I am here. And we take Jesus’ hand and we let ourselves be raised.”

The goal should be a Church “which knows how to take by the hand and accompany to lift, not to condemn,” he said, adding that “Jesus always, always holds out his hand, always trying to lift, to make people heal, to be happy, to meet God.” BC

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 11

Comment

Questions of Faith Father Joshua Rodrigue, S.T.L.

The church and immigration There is much talk about building walls and stopping illegal immigrants from entering the U.S. and sanctuary cities. What is the church’s position on immigration?

Immigration is one of the major issues that continues to confront our nation, especially in light of the upcoming presidential elections and the horrific killings in El Paso, TX. While we would like a simple solution, the complexities of the topic, which stir up much emotion and debate, prevent it and require knowledgeable and civil discussions. Because our opinions may be guided solely by our political affiliation or the various news media and blogs, an essential question for us is whether we have allowed our faith and our church to inform, challenge and form our understanding.

Root Causes of Immigration In order to understand the church’s position on immigration, we must look at the root causes driving so many people even to risk their very lives to immigrate to another country. Political, social, economic and environmental factors both motivate a person to leave and draw them toward a new homeland.

Political Factors Because of nationality, race, religion, political beliefs or membership status in a particular social group, a person may experience persecution, discrimination and violence, whether they be imposed upon individuals by something formal

(like civil or international war) or informal (such as widespread gang activity or ethnic cleansing). These threaten the safety of individuals or their family and will motivate people to travel great distances to find safety, stability and freedom elsewhere in order to live out their days.

Social Factors Meeting the basic human needs and desiring a better quality of life cause migrants to seek better opportunities for themselves or their family. Migrants may also be in search of services, such as a safer and better school for their children or access to life-saving surgery and medical treatments. Consequently, migrants are prompted to leave because of limited opportunities, lack of services, and family separation, and are drawn to countries providing a better quality of life, availability of services, and family reunification.

Economic Factors Economic migration, whether permanent or seasonal, is a reason people relocate from rural places or areas having poorer wages and lack of jobs into richer or more competitive urban areas where wages are higher and more job opportunities are available.

Environmental Factors Environmental factors often require people to relocate from their homes

12 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

involuntarily. Migrants are forced to move because of crop failure and lack of food, pollution of air and soil in both urban and rural settings causing serious health risks, and devastation from natural disasters (tsunamis, hurricanes and earthquakes) and are drawn to countries providing food availability, a healthier environment, and shelter from natural disasters.

Five Catholic Principles of Immigration The Catholic Church’s approach to immigration is rooted in both the Gospel and the church’s Catholic social teaching and has derived five principles for guidance.

1. Persons have the right to find opportunities in their homeland.

A nation is responsible for providing the economic, political and social opportunities for her citizens to live in dignity, work for a just and living wage, and achieve a full life by using their God-given gifts and talents.

2. Persons have the right to migrate to support themselves and their families.

Because all the goods of the earth belong to all (Genesis 1:28-30), people have a right to find work elsewhere in order to survive when they cannot find employment in their country of origin to support themselves and their families.

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3. Sovereign nations have the right to control their borders.

The church recognizes the right of sovereign nations to control their territories for the well-being of her citizens. Nations with a strong economy and the ability to protect and feed their residents have an obligation to accommodate migration flows, and the church rejects border control when used merely for acquiring additional wealth.

Reasonable policies, avoiding unnecessary and inefficient bureaucracy, should govern immigration processes.

4. Refugees and asylum seekers should be afforded protection.

For the good of the person, those fleeing wars, violence and persecution should be protected. This requires, at a minimum, that migrants have a right to claim refugee status without incarceration and to have their claims fully considered by a competent authority in applying to become a legal immigrant.

5. The human dignity and human rights of undocumented migrants should be respected.

Regardless of their legal status, migrants, like all persons, possess inherent human dignity. Government policies respecting the basic human dignity and rights of the undocumented are essential.

Harsh treatment by enforcement officers from both receiving and transit countries are contrary to this principle.

Conclusion It is too easy for the divisive political sphere to obscure our religious sensibilities and cause us to forget that immigrants are like us, children of God, our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Pope Francis reminds us, “Migrants and refugees are not pawns on the chessboard of humanity. They are children, women and men who leave or who are forced to leave their homes for various reasons, who share a legitimate desire for knowing and having, but

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above all for being more” (World Day of Migrants and Refugees, 2014).

To participate in immigration discussions as an informed Catholic, I recommend reading the pastoral letter from the Catholic Bishops of the United States and Mexico entitled Strangers No Longer: Together on the Journey of Hope (online: http://www.usccb. org/issues-and-action/human-lifeand-dignity/immigration/strangersno-longer-together-on-the-journey-ofhope.cfm). BC

Readers are encouraged to send their questions to our local Bayou Catholic columnists by email to bayoucatholic@htdiocese.org.

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www.Gulfcoastorthopedics.com • www.GCOphysicaltherapy.com September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 13

Reflections

Our personal vocation is to be stewards of creation Readings Between the Lines Father Glenn LeCompte

“On the day the Lord God was making the earth and the heavens, and every shrub of the field was not yet on the land, and every herb of the field was not yet sprouting, for the Lord God had not yet caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was no human being to work the land, a mist was going up from the earth and then it watered all the surface of the ground. And then the Lord God fashioned a human being from dirt of the ground. And then he breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. And the man was a living being. And then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east. And then he placed there the man which he fashioned. And then the Lord God caused to sprout from the ground every tree desirable to behold and good for food, and the tree of life in the midst of the garden, as well as the tree of the knowledge of good and evil ... . And then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and preserve it” (Genesis 2:4b-9, 15; translation by Glenn D. LeCompte).

The foregoing Scripture passage comes from the second of two creation stories (1:1-2:4a and 2:4b-25), which many biblical scholars attribute to a source they call the “Yahwist.” Whereas the summary of the first creation story (2:4a) places the term “heavens” before “earth,” the Yahwist begins his story by mentioning “earth” before “heavens” in his introduction (2:4b). The Yahwist views creation from a terrestrial perspective; the creation of the heavens is mentioned only briefly. In describing

the creative process, the author pays more attention to God’s act of causing vegetation to spring up from the earth.

Worthy of note is the fact that the trees God causes to spring from the earth are described as visually beautiful and good for food (2:9). This detail relates the creation of the trees to the human being God creates. The trees supply the man with beauty to behold and sustenance for his life.

Likewise noteworthy is the motive given for God’s creation of the human being: “there was no human being to work (till) the land” (2:5b, 15).

God involves human beings in the continuing creative process. God provides the dirt and the seeds, but assigns the human being to till, plant and nurture the vegetation which beautifies the earth and provides food for humans. God’s creation of a human being for the purpose of cultivating the earth God further stresses the theme of a relationship between the human being and the land.

The association between human beings and the ground is most clearly suggested by the closeness in spelling of the Hebrew words for human being (⊃ādām) and ground (⊃ădāmâ). No doubt you will recognize that the Hebrew word for human being is the reason we have assigned the name “Adam” to the first human.

Additionally, God fashions ⊃ādām from the dirt of the ground, more than likely an image for creation that the author developed by reversing the process of death. ⊃ādām comes from

14 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

the very ground he is charged by God to cultivate in order to bring forth both food and loveliness. Not only is the human being to till the ground, he is also to “preserve” it (2:15). The same Hebrew verb translated as “preserve” is used in reference to the obligation to “keep” the commandments (Exodus 20:6; Deuteronomy 5:10; Amos 2:4; 1 Kings 2:3; Psalm 119:8, 17, 3) or the Covenant (Ezekiel 17:14; 1 Kings 11:11). Preservation of the ground is an act of fidelity to the Lord.

What is the upshot of the relationship between the earth or ground and human beings that the author emphasizes?

There is to be a harmonious, not an exploitative, relationship between human beings and the earth they inhabit. The productivity of the earth is an expression of God’s love for us; from the earth God provides all that we need for life.

Furthermore, the vision of creation in Genesis 2 is not a static one, but a dynamic one. While creation may begin with God’s initial act it continues through the agency of human beings whom God commissions to collaborate with him in the ongoing process of creation. Genesis 2 depicts an interlocking triangle of relationship among God, human beings and land, so that the human being’s cultivation of the earth touches on his relationship with God. The second creation story in Genesis sets the tone for our relationship with creation even today. In The Joy of the Gospel No. 215, Pope Francis

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observes, “God has joined us so closely to the world around us that we can feel the desertification of the soil almost as a physical ailment, and the extinction of a species as a painful disfigurement.

Let us not leave in our wake a swath of destruction and death which will affect our own lives and those of future generations.” The concern the Holy Father expresses here is the abandonment of the vision of Genesis 2, and abandonment that can lead to dire consequences for humanity both in our lifetime and that of future generations.

Pope Saint John Paul II (Concern for Social Matters No. 37) points out that God’s prohibition of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (2:16-17) indicates that “The dominion granted to man by the Creator is not an absolute power, nor can one speak of a freedom to ‘use and misuse,’ or to dispose of things as one pleases.”

In particular, the two Pontiffs make clear that ecological injustice and social

injustice go hand in hand. People, especially the poor, are often made to suffer the consequences of our failure to care for creation, especially when the air we breathe and the water we drink is contaminated. Also, they mention the danger of profiteering which is destructive to the environment. Such irresponsibility springs from a denial of the relationship among God, earth and humanity that is part of the divine message the second chapter of Genesis imparts to us.

September 1st is the annual World Day of Prayer for the Care of Creation which Pope Francis established to “offer individual believers and communities a fitting opportunity to reaffirm their personal vocation to be stewards of creation, to thank God for the wonderful handiwork which he has entrusted to our care, and to implore his help for the protection of creation as well as his pardon for the sins committed against the world in which we live.” In other

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words, the Holy Father urges us to honor the responsibility the Lord has given us. BC

Reflection Questions v What does nature teach us about the Creator? Has your own experience of the created world helped you to pray or communicate with God? v When we fail to care for creation, what impact does this have on our relationship with ourselves, others, God and the earth? v Reflecting on the Creation Story in Genesis 1:1—2:3, as well as other scriptural passages that Pope Francis mentions in Chapter 1 of Laudato Si, how does Scripture call us to care for God’s creation?

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September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 15

Scripture Readings and a listing of Feast days and saints

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday 31 August Weekday 1 Thessalonians 4:9-11 Matthew 25:14-30

1 September Twenty-Second Sunday in Ordinary Time Sirach 3:17-18, 20, 28-29 Hebrews 12:18-19, 22-24a Luke 14:1, 7-14

2 Weekday 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 Luke 4:16-30

3 Memorial of Saint Gregory the Great, pope and doctor of the church 1 Thessalonians 5:1-6, 9-11 Luke 4:31-37

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Twenty-Third Sunday in Ordinary Time Wisdom 9:13-18b Philemon 9-10, 12-17 Luke 14:25-33

Memorial of Saint Peter Claver, priest Colossians 1:24— 2:3 Luke 6:6-11

Colossians 2:6-15 Luke 6:12-19

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Twenty-Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time Exodus 32:7-11, 13-14 1 Timothy 1:12-17 Luke 15:1-32

Memorial of Saints Cornelius, pope, and Cyprian, bishop, martyrs 1 Timothy 2:1-8 Luke 7:1-10

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Twenty-Fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time Amos 8:4-7 1 Timothy 2:1-8 Luke 16:1-13

Memorial of Saint Pius of Pietrelcina, priest Ezra 1:1-16 Luke 8:16-18

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Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time Amos 6:1a, 4-7 1 Timothy 6:11-16 Luke 16:19-31

Memorial of Saint Jerome, priest and doctor of the church Zechariah 8:1-8 Luke 9:46-50

Weekday 1 Timothy 3:1-13 Luke 7:11-17

24 Weekday Ezra 6:7-8, 12b, 14-20 Luke 8:19-21

4 Weekday Colossians 1:1-8 Luke 4:38-44

11 Weekday Colossians 3:1-11 Luke 6:20-26

Weekday Colossians 1:9-14 Luke 5:1-11

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Weekday Memorial of Saint Colossians 3:12-17 John Chrysostom, Luke 6:27-38 bishop and doctor of the church 1 Timothy 1:1-2, 12-14 Luke 6:39-42 19

20

Weekday 1 Timothy 3:14-16 Luke 7:31-35

Weekday 1 Timothy 4:12-16 Luke 7:36-50

Memorial of Saints Andrew Kim Taegŏn, priest, and Paul Chŏng Ha-sang, and companions, martyrs 1 Timothy 6:2c-12 Luke 8:1-3

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Weekday Ezra 9:5-9 Luke 9:1-6

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Memorial of Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus, virgin and doctor of the church Zechariah 8:20-23 Luke 9:51-56

Memorial of the Holy Guardian Angels Nehemiah 2:1-8 Matthew 18:1-5, 10

Weekday Haggai 1:1-8 Luke 9:7-9

3 Weekday Nehemiah 8:1-4a, 5-6, 7b-12 Luke 10:1-12

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Weekday Weekday Colossians 1:15-20 Colossians 1:21-23 Luke 6:1-5 Luke 5:33-39

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1 October

16 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

5

Memorial of Saint Vincent de Paul, priest Haggai 2:1-9 Luke 9:18-22

4 Memorial of Saint Francis of Assisi, religious Baruch 1:15-22 Luke 10:13-16

14 Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross Numbers 21:4b-9 Philippians 2:6-11 John 3:13-17 21 Feast of Saint Matthew, apostle and evangelist Ephesians 4:1-7, 11-13 Matthew 9:9-13 28 Weekday Zechariah 2:5-9, 14-15a Luke 9:43b-45

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Special

Father Charles Perkins and Lauren Gervais receive national awards for lifetime achievement, and courage and perseverance Story by Janet Marcel Rev. Charles (Charlie) Perkins, retired priest of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux, recently received the national Edward M. Shaughnessy III Inclusion Lifetime Achievement Award for Serving all God’s Children. At the same ceremony, 18 year old Lauren Gervais, a parishioner of St. Mary’s Nativity Church parish in Raceland who attended St. Mary’s Nativity School and graduated from Central Lafourche High School this year, received the national Michael Thomas Peters Award for Courage and Perseverance.

The ceremony, which was held in Louisville, KY, was cosponsored by the National Catholic Education Association (NCEA) and Loyola Marymount University’s Center for Catholic Education in Los Angeles, CA. Edward M. Shaughnessy III Inclusion Lifetime Achievement Award Sister Mary Angela Shaughnessy, SCN, J.D., Ph.D., and her family instituted the Edward M. Shaughnessy III Serving All God’s Children Inclusion Award in honor of her brother following his death in 1999. This award is given annually by the Shaughnessy family in memory of their brother Ed who worked tirelessly on behalf of inclusion in Catholic Education, especially for those students with special needs. From time to time, a lifetime achievement award is given to outstanding individuals. The last time a priest received this award was in 2012.

Father Perkins, who served as pastor of St. Mary’s Nativity Church parish for 11 and a half years, was nominated by Marissa Bagala, principal of St. Mary’s Nativity School since 2005.

Bagala says this about Father Perkins: “He is a priest who leads with his heart. He served the Diocese of HoumaThibodaux for 41 years and was the first priest ordained in the diocese. In all that time he has taken as his special service seeing to the needs of our children. He doesn’t recognize children with special needs because he sees everyone as having special needs, and he sees himself as being here to serve them. Every child is special in the eyes of the Lord, and Father ‘Charlie’ sees with the eyes of the Lord, recognizing that children are a special gift from God. “It didn’t matter what time of day or night children or youth needed him—he was there. By example he showed them that turning to prayer for each other was a deep spiritual comfort, that the Holy Spirit sends peace to those who turn to God in prayer. Like Christ Father ‘Charlie’ 18 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

lived his priestly life according to the Scripture passage, ‘Let the children come to me’ (Matthew 19:14). God was calling all children to come, regardless of abilities. Neither God nor Father ‘Charlie’ recognized a disability.”

Father Perkins says he was surprised to receive the award. “I thought I was there for Lauren, to see her receive her award. I felt very humble and honored. I didn’t think that I had done anything special or extraordinary. The person that I was growing up continued to be who I am in my priesthood. Young people have always had a special place in my life, beginning with my family, especially my nieces and nephews, and all the young people that I have worked with and ministered to in all the different parishes and schools I have been involved in. I have always considered our youth very special. I tried to open for them a way that they could experience who Jesus is and connect with him to really come to know him. I figured if they made that connection Jesus would do the rest. I have seen this happen in so many over the years. Therefore, no matter who they are, I have tried to give them the opportunity to connect and open themselves to the love of Jesus and to deepen their faith. And, I will try to continue to do so as best as I can,” says Father Perkins.

Michael Thomas Peters Award The Michael Thomas Peters Award is given annually to a Catholic school student who has overcome great obstacles to achieve success. Michael Peters, a student in his senior year at Loyola Marymount University, died while awaiting a kidney transplant. His family presents the award each year. Lauren Gervais was nominated by Father Perkins and Marissa Bagala.

In their nomination letter, Father Perkins and Bagala, had this to say about Lauren: “We firmly believe that Lauren’s dedication to the Lord, her strong Catholic faith, service to the community, and diligent work ethic make her an outstanding nominee for this honor. Lauren has hurtled like a champion over all the obstacles that have challenged her throughout her life.”

When Lauren was a student at St. Mary’s Nativity School, explains Bagala, she faced many challenges with her health. During this time her family was forced to move into Lauren’s grandparents’ home due to family medical issues that lead to loss of income and ultimately unemployment.

Lauren decided to trust in God’s grace, and the move proved fruitful for God’s plan. Discovering lessons from her

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Marissa Bagala, principal of St. Mary’s Nativity School; Father Charles Perkins, retired priest of the diocese; Sister Mary Angela Shaughnessy SCN, J.D., Ph.D.; Lauren Gervais, and Amy Gervais pose for a photo during the awards ceremony. grandparents was a new pathway for her, but the ultimate gift came when her father and grandfather returned to the church – in no small part because of Lauren’s cheerful faith.

With her family’s loss of income, Lauren was also faced with the realization that attending a Catholic high school was no longer an option. For years she had planned to continue growing in her faith and knowledge of her religion in a Christ-centered school. Those dreams and high school expectations were shattered.

Despite all of these personal burdens, Lauren never lost focus of the important things in life, says Father Perkins.

She decided to allow her faith to carry her in a way that gave her and others strength. Her motto became, “All things are possible with God.” She turned her obstacles into a pathway to courage and a mission to serve others.

“In high school, Lauren held her faith like armor and put Christ at the center of all the things she was involved in. Through her music, her classes, and outside activities, she came into her own as a disciple and evangelist. In an atmosphere where God’s presence was not visible, she made him a part of everything she did. She encouraged others to develop a relationship with God through leading prayers at the school flag pole, bringing students to youth group activities and retreats, and sharing her music,” says her nominators.

Lauren has participated in Pro-Life chains, raised funds for the Pro-Life March in Washington, D.C., and attended that rally. Her heart goes out to the poor, but she does more than put a few coins in the collection. She works at the Good Samaritan Store and Food Bank, and collects items.

She worked at The Blue Shed, a place for underprivileged children, where she brought toys and played games with the kids. She collected shoes for the homeless, cleaned bedrooms, and fed homeless families at the Homeless Shelter in Baton Rouge, and helped remodel homes for the elderly. She has also volunteered at Chez Hope Battered Women’s Shelter and sponsored a clothing drive for the MacDonell United Methodist Children’s Home for orphans in Houma.

While in high school, Lauren served as the National Beta Club historian and president, National Honor Society chaplain, Spanish Club president, Student Council secretary, and class secretary and reporter. She was also a member of the marching band, swim team, and the performing arts, and she graduated with a GPA of 4.1.

“Everything Lauren does she accomplishes not with bragging or even self-satisfaction; she is one of the humblest people one could meet. Yet if you meet her, it will be with a smile on her face and laughter on her lips; for the joy of the Holy Spirit is abounding within her,” says Bagala.

Lauren is currently attending Nicholls State University in Thibodaux and her nominators say they have no doubt that her goals and missions will remain the same and she will find the college campus another fertile ground for helping others and leading them to Christ.

“When I received the Michael Thomas Peters award I felt honored and filled with humility. This award means so much to me and reminds me every day of how important it is to be brave and courageous even when times seem the hardest,” says Lauren. BC September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 19

Youth

in action

When life gets busy, what do you do to make sure that time with God is not sacrificed?

I lead a very busy life. My family learned the hard way that we need to live every day that we are blessed with to the fullest. As a high school student, I have tons of schoolwork during the week. That can be very stressful. My weekends are always packed with fun things to do with my family and friends, but I always include going to church in those plans. Going to church makes me feel closer to God and my mom. I like serving as an usher at church. It makes me feel like I’m a part of the Mass. My favorite church activity during the year is making Thanksgiving baskets

for the poor. It makes me feel good to help people. My family is also on the decorating committee at church. It’s fun, and it’s something that I can do for God. God has really helped me through the hard times in my life. Whether it is stress from school or the loss of my mother, God is always there for me.

God gives me the strength I need to

20 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

Gunnar Matthew Cheramie School: Virtual Academy of Lafourche Grade: 12th Church parish: Our Lady of Prompt Succor, Golden Meadow Describe your family unit: My mother’s name is Kristy. We lost her to cancer seven years ago. I am very close to my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins who are helping my dad, Dean, finish raising me.

Favorite Hobby: Fishing Favorite Movie: Star Wars Favorite T.V. Show: Gilligan’s Island Favorite Genre of Music: Rock

be the person that he wants me to be.

Making my confirmation this year was a special moment in my life, because it brought me closer to God. By making God a part of your life, you will always have time for God. Above all, I am truly grateful to God for giving me my family, my girlfriend, and an amazing group of friends. BC

Seminarian Education Burses What is a seminarian burse/endowment fund?

A seminarian burse/endowment fund is an invested sum of money where the interest is used in perpetuity to help fund the education of men to the priesthood in the Diocese of HoumaThibodaux.

How does someone establish a seminarian burse/endowment fund?

Very simply, a burse/endowment fund may be established and

named for anyone you choose, be it family, friend, bishop, priest, deacon, religious, etc.

Who do I contact to contribute to or establish a fund?

To contribute to or establish a burse/endowment fund, send funds to the Pastoral Center, Attn: Catholic Foundation, P.O. Box 505, Schriever, LA 70395 or contact the Catholic Foundation office at 985-850-3116 or aponson@htdiocese.org for more information.

Completed Burses and CFSL Named Endowment Funds Note: Numbers stipulate the amount of completed burses.*

Anonymous Mr. & Mrs. C. Thomas Bienvenu Harry Booker Bishop Warren L. Boudreaux (3)* Mr. Eledier Broussard Rev. Adrian J. Caillouet Rev. James Louis Caillouet Bishop L. Abel Caillouet Judge & Mrs. L.P. Caillouet Msgr. Lucien J. Caillouet Abdon J. & Ada B. Callais Harold & Gloria Callais Family Paul A. Callais Peter W. Callais Vincent & Fannie Cannata Minor Sr. & Lou Ella Cheramie Maude & Edith Daspit Mr. & Mrs. Caliste Duplantis family (3)* Clay Sr. & Evelida Duplantis C. Remie Duplantis Marie Elise Duplantis Warren J. Harang Jr. Msgr. Raphael C. Labit Msgr. Francis J. Legendre Rev. Charles Menard Dr. & Mrs. M.V. Marmande & Family

Donald Peltier Sr. (3)* Harvey Peltier (30)* Richard Peltier The Peltier Foundation (5) Orleans & Louella Pitre Msgr. Joseph Wester Robert R. Wright Jr. Rev. Kermit Trahan St. Bernadette Men’s Club Diocesan Knights of Columbus Leighton Delahaye Mrs. Shirley Conrad Bishop Shelton J. Fabre Elizabeth Hebert Callais Family Fund Rev. Joseph Tu Tran Society of St. Joseph (2) Endowment Fund - $119,136.90 James J Buquet Jr Julius & Marie Pauline St. Amant Elie & Dot Klingman Bishop Sam Jacobs Endowment-$32,840.43 Giardina Family Foundation Sem. Endowment-$4,337.62

James J. Buquet, Jr. Family Sem. Endowment-$27,979.95 Diocesan Seminaria Endowment-$3,502,699.11 Mary and Al Danos Foundation Sem. Endowment-$38,621.30 Msgr. Amedee Sem. Endowment-$314,838.43 The Peltier Foundation-$14,482.97 Leo & Ethel Hebert Jane and John Dean Sidney J. & Lydie C. Duplantis Msgr. Stanislaus Manikowski Leon “Ponoke” and Marlene Champagne Sem. Endowment-$2,225.00 Society of St. Joseph-$100 Saint John Vianny Priest Retirement Endowment-$25,016.90 Father Patrick Riviere Sem. Endowment-$27,018.24 Charlotte Bollinger Family Catholic Charities-$25,701.58 Patrick Murphy Catholic Charities Endowment-$204,101.86

July 2019 Burse Contributions Mr. & Mrs. George C. Fakier................$200.00 Msgr. William Koninkx .............................$200.00 Catholic Daughters.....................................$100.00 Dean Joseph Chiasson.............................$100.00

Open Burses with Balance as of July 31, 2019 Donald Peltier Sr. No. 4 .........................................$13,000.00 Joseph Strada Memorial .......................................$12,642.63 Msgr. Raphael C. Labit No. 2 .............................$11,560.00 Claude & Lucy Mahler Family .............................$11,100.00 Joseph Waitz Sr. .......................................................$11,000.00 Mr. & Mrs. George C. Fakier ................................$10,900.00 Harvey Peltier No. 31 .............................................$10,486.91 Clay Sr. & Evelida Duplantis No. 2 ....................$10,000.00 C. Remie Duplantis No. 2 ......................................$10,000.00 Marie Elise Duplantis No. 2 .................................$10,000.00 Maude & Edith Daspit No. 2 ................................$10,000.00 Msgr. George A. Landry ........................................$10,000.00 Msgr. William Koninkx ............................................. $7,900.00 Catholic Daughters .................................................... $7,080.00 Rev. Victor Toth .......................................................... $7,000.00 Msgr. Francis Amedee ............................................. $6,850.00 Brides of the Most Blessed Trinity ...................... $6,598.00 Rev. Gerard Hayes ..................................................... $6,286.00 Rev. Peter Nies ............................................................ $6,000.00 Rev. Guy Zeringue ..................................................... $6,000.00 Mr. & Mrs. Love W. Pellegrin ................................ $5,000.00 Anonymous No. 2 ...................................................... $5,000.00 Mr. & Mrs. Caliste Duplantis Family No. 4 ..............$5,000.00 Rev. William M. Fleming ......................................... $5,000.00 Mrs. Ayres A. Champagne ...................................... $5,000.00 Rev. Kasimir Chmielewski ....................................... $4,839.00 Joseph “Jay” Fertitta .................................................. $4,450.00 Rev. Henry Naquin .................................................... $4,311.00

Anawin Community .................................................. $4,200.00 Harry Booker No. 2 ................................................... $4,138.00 Msgr. James Songy ................................................... $4,075.00 Kelly Curole Frazier .................................................... $3,610.96 Mr. & Mrs. John Marmande .................................. $3,500.00 J. R. Occhipinti ............................................................. $3,400.00 Preston & Gladys Webre ........................................ $3,400.00 Mr. & Mrs. Galip Jacobs .......................................... $3,060.00 St. Jude ........................................................................... $3,000.00 Diocesan Knights of Columbus No. 2 ............... $2,894.62 Warren J. Harang Jr. No. 2 ..................................... $2,700.00 Rev. Peter H. Brewerton .......................................... $2,600.00 Willie & Emelda St. Pierre ...................................... $2,000.00 Rev. John Gallen ......................................................... $1,950.00 Rev. H.C. Paul Daigle ................................................ $1,900.00 Deacon Connely Duplantis .................................... $1,700.00 Alfrances P. Martin .................................................... $1,650.00 Msgr. Francis J. Legendre No. 2 .......................... $1,645.00 Rev. Robert J. Sevigny ............................................. $1,600.00 Jacob Marcello ............................................................ $1,600.00 Rev. Hubert C. Broussard ....................................... $1,550.00 Judge Louis & Shirley R. Watkins ....................... $1,550.00 Msgr. Emile J. Fossier ............................................... $1,545.00 Ronnie Haydel ............................................................ $1,535.00 Dr. William Barletta Sr. ............................................ $1,525.00 Deacon Robert Dusse’ ............................................. $1,450.00 Rev. Anthony Rousso ............................................... $1,300.00 Msgr. John L. Newfield ............................................ $1,200.00

Rev. Joseph Tu Tran No. 2 ...................................... $1,094.00 Msgr. John G. Keller .................................................. $1,050.00 Rev. Clemens Schneider ......................................... $1,000.00 Bishop Warren L. Boudreaux No. 4 .................... $1,000.00 Edna W. DiSalvo ......................................................... $1,000.00 Bernice Harang ........................................................... $1,000.00 Deacon Willie Orgeron ................................................$900.00 Dean Joseph Chiasson .................................................$900.00 Ruby Pierce ......................................................................$800.00 Deacon Roland Dufrene .............................................$750.00 Juliette & Eugene Wallace .........................................$700.00 Deacon Edward J. Blanchard ....................................$700.00 Deacon Raymond LeBouef ........................................$550.00 Paul & Laura Duet ........................................................$550.00 Mr. & Mrs. Anthony Cannata ...................................$500.00 Robert Walsh ...................................................................$500.00 Anne Veron Aguirre ...................................................... $380.00 Deacon Harold Kurtz ...................................................$300.00 Richard Peltier No. 2 ....................................................$300.00 Claude Bergeron ............................................................$250.00 Rev. Michael Finnegan ................................................$200.00 Mr. & Mrs. Arthur Naquin ..........................................$150.00 Deacon Pedro Pujals ....................................................$100.00 Rev. Warren Chassaniol ..............................................$100.00 Deacon Eldon Frazier ......................................................$50.00 Deacon Nick Messina .....................................................$50.00 Grant J. Louviere.................................................................$50.00

Overall Seminarian Burses Total: $1,757,843.02 ~ CFSL Seminarian Endowments Total: $3,997,743.09 September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 21

Heavenly Recipes

Druis “Teet” Trahan

Druis Cooks a:

TASTY TREAT Story and Photos by Lawrence Chatagnier

This month’s heavenly recipe, shrimp boulettes, comes from Chauvin native Druis “Teet” Trahan. Druis and his wife Maranda have been married for 48 years. She is retired from the United States Postal Service and Druis is retired from Texaco.

When Druis was first employed by the oil company he started working as a galley hand in the kitchen. “I picked up how to cook while working as a galley hand. I worked for different cooks over about a four-year period. I would learn from each one and eventually put my own style of cooking into what I would prepare. My mom did most of the cooking at home. She was a very good cook. I wish I would have paid a little more attention to how she cooked.”

Druis and Maranda met at Big John’s a seafood restaurant/ dance hall in Dulac. “Big John’s was a large place that served seafood during the day and on weekend nights was a dance hall. I met her one day when I brought my niece there. While waiting on my niece, Maranda and I spoke to each other. The next time I went we met and talked again. We had a few more dates the following months and got to know each other a little better. We wanted to go trawling together but her parents did not like the idea of us being together for days and not married. We got married on a Saturday before the May trawling season opened, went to New Orleans for our honeymoon on Sunday and were back early Monday for the start of the shrimping season. We went trawling.”

An outdoorsman, Druis loves to hunt and fish. He spends much of his time fishing in the saltwater and freshwater locations in Terrebonne and Lafourche Parishes. The couple, who moved from Chauvin after Druis’ retirement, live at Woodlawn Ranch Acres just east of Houma and have five children and nine grandchildren. Druis enjoys cooking for his children and the Tee Caillou Lions Club. He also cooks 22 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

Shrimp Boulettes INGREDIENTS: quart of shrimp, peeled 1/4 bell pepper 1 rib of celery 1 medium potato 1 large onion (yellow) 1 egg 1/2 tsp. garlic powder 1 tsp. baking powder 2 tbsps. flour 1 tbsp. parsley 1 tbsp. onion tops seasoning to taste

DIRECTIONS: Grind shrimp, onion, bell pepper, celery, potato, parsley and onion tops in a large mixing bowl. Then add the remaining ingredients and mix well. Heat about an inch of oil to 250 degrees in a black iron skillet. Drop about a tablespoon of the mixture in the hot grease and fry until golden brown on each side.

Makes about 2 dozen (depending on the spoon size used). for large events. “I’ll cook a jambalaya or a gumbo for one of my daughters who works at a school. I also like to make crackling.

When cooking for large events I measure the amounts by the pound. It’s cooking on a large scale.”

Druis says that he and his family has been blessed by God over the years. “God has been watching over us all our lives. He had his hand on my shoulder to help me along through the years. I was raised to always give God his time on Sunday. When we got married Maranda and I did the same thing. The kids followed suit.”

The couple attribute working together and finding things to do in common to their 48 years of marriage. “I help around the house and do most of the cooking nowadays. I enjoy cooking and having the children and grandchildren come over to eat meals with us. I catch a lot of fish, and clean and freeze it for the family to enjoy. It’s what daddies do.” BC

2020

Please support our local March for Life Pilgrimage A special collection will be held on October 5-6, 2019

January 20-25, 2020

Commentary

A deacon’s wife’s confessions Angie Lefevre

Pathways What is my ultimate goal here on earth? To get to heaven.

I used to think that each time I did a good deed I got “points” to be added to my grand score, which would get me into heaven. But upon further reflection, the point system did not seem right. Now I envision a pathway to heaven. We all talk about being on the right road or path toward heaven.

But that analogy isn’t quite right either. We can be on the right path, but what happens if we are on the path and we make a mistake? I know it’s a stretch of the imagination to consider ourselves making a bad choice! I, however, make bad choices all the time. How many times have I prayed in the morning to let God’s presence within me shine outward to other people? But by the afternoon – the devil has taken over and I’m having my third glass of wine, or third bowl of chips, or watching my third movie from my recliner! (Not really, my limit is two movies!)

So the way I see it is – our path to heaven is not a straight road, it’s a series of forks in the road. One fork is closer to heaven and the other takes us on a detour. We are still headed in the right direction overall, but just taking a scenic route through bad choices. So every time I pick up the neighbor’s garbage can or visit my grandmother, I’m not gaining “heaven point,” I’m just choosing to take the correct fork in the road.

The next time you are faced with a decision like: Should I stop and talk to my elderly neighbor or run inside to watch America’s Got Talent … think about the fork. Imagine that there are signs on each fork of the road – one says selfish option, the other says selfless option. That should make your decision a little easier. Getting to heaven isn’t one big choice – it’s a thousand small choices that we make every day. And of course, the selfless option is always the best choice! In a good marriage, you must die to yourself and give all to your spouse. If both spouses view their lives that way, then it will be a successful marriage. If one or both partners are selfish, and only seek their own satisfaction, then the marriage will fail. A good Catholic life is spent not focused on yourself, but on giving your all to your family, your community and your world.

Jesus told his disciples “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:13-14).

24 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

Those “fork in the road” decisions will get more challenging as we approach heaven. The road is difficult and the gate is narrow. The choices we make to get closer to God will not be the choices of the secular world. Our friends and family will think we’re crazy!

You’re going to miss the football game to help some old lady cut her grass?!? You’re going to miss the big party for some church event?!? Are you going to spend your whole Saturday cooking a meal for the homeless?!? Are you going to waste part of your vacation to go to Mass?!? That’s crazy!

It is crazy in a self-focused world, but it’s not crazy in a Christ-centered world. Jesus himself tells us that the right path is not the easy path. Believe me, it took a lot of courage last Christmas to tell all our family members that we did not buy them any gifts. But instead, gave our gift money to those in need. It was not easy to sit back and watch people give and receive actual gifts, while we handed out envelopes describing our donations. Even though it was hard, it was the right choice. Now, I know I talked about making selfless, difficult choices every day. That does not sound like great fun. But I promise, the reward will be worth the sacrifice.

(Angie Lefevre is the wife of Deacon James Lefevre, who was ordained to the permanent diaconate in May 2018. They are parishioners of St. Bernadette Church parish in Houma.)

BC

You do the living ~

We do the rest.

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For More Information Contact: Natalie Barbera natalieb@stjosephmanor.org

Book Reviews

Reading With Raymond Raymond Saadi

When Christians Were Jews The First Generation

By Paula Fredriksen Yale $27.50 Let’s face it, creating converts to a new religion was no piece of cake for the Apostles. The candidates for conversion were, for the greater part, all of the Jewish faith and not too easily assimilated into “the way.” The Apostles faced tremendous difficulties, including death, as in the case of St. Stephen, the first of them to be killed.

The Apostles believed and preached Jesus’ prophecy – “The kingdom” of God is at hand!” They believed they were the last generation but were, instead, the first Christians. Fredriksen’s research and conclusion are extensive and thought provoking. BC

The Sentence is Death

By Anthony Horowitz Harper $27.99 Horowitz follows up his delightful crime novel about private detective, Daniel Hawthorne in which he plays himself, an author charged with writing the biography of a former cop.

Their relationship is rocky at best since Hawthorne reveals little about himself or the case they’re investigating. In this instance, it’s the murder of a prominent divorce lawyer bludgeoned to death by a very expensive wine bottle worth nearly $2,500 U.S. dollars. Wouldn’t be such a bad way to die if he had drunk himself to death with it. BC

Killing with Confetti

River Road Rambler Returns

By Peter Lovesey SOHO Crime $27.95

By Mary Ann Sternberg LSU $26

Detective Superintendent Peter Diamond is ordered to personally provide protection for arch criminal Joe Irving who’s about to be released from prison in time for his daughter’s wedding. The groom just happens to be the son of Diamond’s superior, Deputy Chief Constable George Brace, which puts Diamond on the spot; he can’t refuse. Needless to say, an attempt on Irving’s life is attempted. How Diamond solves this case comes as a complete surprise. BC

The one hundred mile trip on the River Road from New Orleans to Baton Rouge is described in fourteen colorful stories by author Sternberg. She again describes the Manresa House of Retreats, once only for men but now admits women; Poche Park in Paulina, accessible only by boat; Ashland/Belle Helene, gloriously restored; and much more. If you’re looking for a close to home leisurely and nostalgic drive, take a ride with Ms. Sternberg on the River Road along the Mississippi as she travels it once more. BC

The Chain

By Adrian McKinty Mulholland $28 Minutes after dropping her daughter off at the bus stop, Rachel Klein receives a cell phone call from a strange woman advising her that she has kidnapped the little girl. Want to get her back unharmed? Simple, just pay $25,000 and then kidnap some other kid and make the same offer to another parent. Do that and you’re now a part of the “Chain.” This bizarre situation can’t possibly work, Rachel thinks. The “Chain’s” weakest link will have to break, and soon. Ah, but it doesn’t. The anonymous masterminds know that parents will do anything for their children and Rachel is no exception. Weird but gripping. BC September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 25

Special

Diocesan youth formation is being renewed and adapted under new plan Story by Janet Marcel Photos by Lawrence Chatagnier In his November 2017 document entitled There is an Urgency: A Vision for Youth Formation in the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux, Bishop Shelton J. Fabre outlined the urgent need to reform the way parishes minister to today’s youth and defined essential components necessary for best practice youth formation. This document is the governing document for the diocese regarding the traditional structures historically known as “CCD” and “youth ministry.”

“The situation we are facing with our young people demands that we produce an appropriate response. We must look for new ways to engage our young people,” explained Bishop Fabre. “We must find new opportunities that allow them to encounter the love of Jesus personally. We must be ever more creative so that they take steps forward and grow in that relationship. In short, our efforts to reach young people in the area of catechesis must be renewed and adapted.”

Bishop Fabre’s vision for youth formation and the reform of CCD requires both a small group format and more adult volunteers trained to lead small groups.

In response to this document, many changes have been taking place over the last two years in the diocese regarding the formation of youth into missionary disciples.

The creation of the diocesan Office of Parish Support consolidated the Offices of Religious Education, Youth Ministry and Family Ministries into a single office; and in doing so, introduced a new liaison team approach.

If parishes are going to succeed in both adult and youth formation, they need renewed lay leadership, and for that reason the Office of Parish Support was created to support parishes by forming lay leaders to carry out its mission of forming disciples.

The first annual Youth Formation Leadership Summit entitled “Through Him, With Him, In Him,” sponsored by the Office of Parish Support, was held recently at the diocesan Pastoral Center in Schriever, for the human, spiritual and pastoral formation of the adults called to mentor the youth of the diocese under this new structure.

There were approximately 120 people in attendance.

Nick Labrie, Catholic missionary and development director for the Family Missions Company in Abbeville, LA, was the host for the weekend. Bishop Fabre gave a keynote entitled “A New Way Forward”; Very Rev. Mark Toups, V.G., acting director of the Office of Parish Support;

a

26 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

Bishop Shelton J. Fabre explains his vision for youth formation.

The purpose of the summit was to anchor the adult mentors in the Lord and in prayer.

Special

Kristin Niedbala, associate director of the Office of Parish Support; and Rebecca Abboud, youth formation specialist for the Office of Parish Support, lead breakout sessions.

Abboud explains that the purpose of the summit was to “anchor the adult mentors in the Lord and in prayer – individually and together as a group – to help them with transitioning to this new model of youth formation and taking the vision back into their parishes to begin the implementation process. We also talked about some practical things such as how to lead a small group, what teenagers are like today, and how to do relational ministry.

At this point, we are investing in adult formation because adults can’t lead teens to a place of spirituality that they themselves have not yet experienced.”

In the past, CCD as we’ve known it existed primarily to form the mind – it was intellectual formation, says Abboud.

“Today’s young people are asking for more than that and the changes in this new model will allow us to form not only the intellect, but do lots of human formation. This is more of a holistic view of formation,” clarifies Abboud. “It’s a desire to do more than teach our young people about Jesus. We want to provide opportunities for encounter because we know that in that relationship with Jesus is where the thirst for more knowledge comes about. It just lands on your heart in a different way when you know the person you’re talking about.”

While every church parish is at a different level in the process, Abboud says going forward, they will follow a threeyear approach, with this year’s focus being on 9th-12th grade; the second year, 6th-8th grade; and the third year,

Rebecca Abboud, youth formation specialist for the diocesan Office of Parish Support, addresses the participants at the summit.

1st-5th grade.

“It was just beautiful to see the openness, the vulnerability, and the connections made with each other from all the adults in attendance and the sense of unity we had at the end of the weekend. We felt like we were all anchored in Christ and in a common vision,” says Abboud.

BC

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 27

Announcement

Building a legacy for your Catholic school Catholic Foundation Update Amy Ponson

The Catholic Foundation of South Louisiana is proud to partner with Edward Douglas White Catholic High School (E.D. White) in Thibodaux to establish the school’s Legacy Society focused on three key areas: n Tuition Assistance n Professional and Academic Development n Facilities Improvements E.D. White has been blessed to have the support of its community members for years, and year after year the school benefits from the time, talent and treasure of its parents, grandparents, alumni and community leaders. In an effort to begin to build a strong legacy for the future of E.D. White and the students of the school, E.D. White has established these three legacy endowments to begin to build a legacy that will fund future needs of the school.

While annual gifts are a crucial lifeline to any organization, especially E.D. White, we ask that you look to the future, where you may wonder what will happen to the programs made possible through your gifts once you are gone. How can you make your generosity continue today and forever?

One option is to make a gift in your will or trust to E.D. White’s endowments, or create a new named endowment of your own for the school.

Here’s an example of how that could work.

Let’s say Mr. Thibodaux makes an annual donation of $1,000 and would like to continue his support after his lifetime. His estate planning attorney suggests that Mr. Thibodaux include a provision in his will to fund an endowment with a gift of $25,000. Once funded, we will use a portion of the endowment each year to fund the program of Mr. Thibodaux’s choice. The remainder is reinvested, which allows it to grow and support annual payouts indefinitely. This generous arrangement replaces Mr. Thibodaux’s $1,000 annual gift after his lifetime (assuming four percent – $1,000 – is used by the fund annually).

As a result, E.D. White (or the school of your choice) receives the benefit of Mr. Thibodaux’s generosity forever.

Give in their name You can use an endowment gift to honor someone important to you who appreciates the work of the school and Catholic education. Consider designating your endowment in his or her name as a way to celebrate the connection to E.D. White.

(The information in this publication is not intended as legal or tax advice. For such advice, please consult an attorney 28 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

or tax advisor. Figures cited in examples are for illustrative purposes only. References to tax rates include federal taxes only and are subject to change. State law may further impact your individual results.) BC

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Church Life

St. Kateri Celebration

A Mass honoring St. Kateri Tekakwitha was celebrated recently at Holy Family Church in Grand Caillou. Bishop Shelton J. Fabre was the main celebrant of the Mass which was concelebrated by priests of the diocese. The Mass featured traditional Native American dancing and regalia.

Photos by Lawrence Chatagnier

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 29

Special

Blessed Mother mural shines brightly at South Lafourche High School Story and Photos by Lawrence Chatagnier Huge multi-colored murals can be found throughout the halls of South Lafourche High School in Galliano. They are the creations of junior and senior art students. Some murals depict scenes from New Orleans featuring wrought iron fences bordering massive oak trees. There are super heroes on another wall along with a mural of New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees. There is also a particularly colorful mural right outside the art class which beautifully depicts the Blessed Mother in stained glass.

Marcelle Pitre, a 2019 graduate of South Lafourche High School and a parishioner of Sacred Heart Church in Cut Off, has a love for art, in particular drawing and painting. She is most proud of her mural depicting the Blessed Mother.

“Mrs. Donna Pontiff was my art teacher. The mural was a project that took about a year and a half in art class when I took Art III and IV. Each year students in Art III and IV get to paint a mural as a final project in art class,” says Marcelle.

The Blessed Mother in stained glass came about after Marcelle told her teacher about an idea she had. “I had the idea of painting something that looks like stained glass. So when I had the idea of stained glass, my teacher thought of something church related. The two of us decided that I would paint the Blessed Mother as my mural.”

Marcelle says she gets her creativity and skill from her dad. “I get the skill from my dad. He is a landscaper and creates all his designs. He encouraged my creativity in art.

I feel like I don’t have to think when I am painting and drawing. I pay attention to detail. I enjoy the little things associated with art, even if it takes a while,” she says.

The South Lafourche grad is the youngest of four children in the Pitre family. She is involved with her church parish 30 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

a

Special

and looks up to her older siblings. “Our family is close.

My older siblings have been great role models. They set a good example for me when I was growing up. During the summer months I help with the vacation Bible school at Sacred Heart. During the school year I am part of a group called Fidelis, a Catholic program with a goal to form girls’ hearts, minds, bodies and souls into a sisterhood of mature, virtuous disciples of Christ through the witness of Catholic women. It is a great mentoring group,” says Marcelle.

A big part of who I am today is credited to my parents.

They made sure that we did the right thing and not the popular thing. Going through school I never had a huge amount of friends. I always felt that it was okay to have two or three friends who were your true friends. I believe that having a strong faith foundation was important. Going through high school is a lot in itself. I can’t imagine what it would have been like without my faith to root me into being the person I am. My faith has also helped me in sports. If you are not succeeding as well as you think it’s okay. As long as you are doing the best that you can at that moment it’s okay.”

This fall Marcelle is going to LSU where she will study landscape architecture. “I like math but there is not much color in architecture. That’s why I am going in that direction. I like colors. I also like the idea of interior design or graphic design.”

Marcelle feels that with her faith in God and her close knit family upbringing she has the faith and support to handle whatever comes her way. “It helps to know where your blessings come from. It’s great to have a positive attitude that faith gives you. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.” BC

Marcelle Pitre stands beside her mural of the Blessed Mother.

A New Orleans scene is one of the many murals which line the hallways of South Lafourche High School in Galliano.

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 31

Church Life

Acadian Mass

The annual Acadian Mass held at St. Hilary of Poitiers Church in Mathews was celebrated in conjunction with the feast of the Assumption. Father Roch Naquin was the principal celebrant of the Mass with Bishop Shelton J. Fabre presiding. Priests of the diocese concelebrated the Mass. Catholics from across the diocese gathered for the Mass which celebrates the Cajun culture of the bayou area.

Photos by Lawrence Chatagnier

32 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

September Daily Prayer for Priests, Deacons and Seminarians

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

1 September

2

3

4

5

6

7

Rev. Peter Tai Le

Rev. Glenn LeCompte

Very Rev. Eric Leyble, J.V.

Rev. Jacob Lipari

Rev. Joey Lirette

Rev. Aurelio Luzon

Rev. Clyde Mahler

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

Bishop Shelton J. Fabre

Deacon Joseph Bourgeois Sr.

Rev. Fernando Anaya

Rev. John David Matherne

Rev. Andre Melancon

Very Rev. John Nambusseril, V.F.

Rev. Jean-Marie Nsambu

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

Seminarian Davis Ahimibisibwe

Rev. John Bosco Tai Van Pham

Rev. Joseph Pilola

Deacon James Brunet Sr.

Rev. Benie Rebosura

Rev. Patrick Riviere

Seminarian Daniel Duplantis

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

Rev. Robert Rogers

Rev. Blair Sabaricos

Rev. Henry Sebastian

Deacon Stephen Brunet

Rev. Mitchel Semar

Rev. Antonio Maria Speedy

Rev. Carlos Talavera

29

30

Deacon Larry Callais

Rev. James Nguyen Van Thien

Daily Prayer for Clergy and Religious Lord Jesus, hear our prayer for the spiritual renewal of bishops, priests, deacons, brothers, sisters, lay ministers and seminarians of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux. We praise You for giving their ministry to the Church. In these days, renew them with the gifts of Your Spirit.

You once opened the Holy Scriptures to Your disciples when You walked on this earth. Now renew Your ordained and chosen ones with the truth and power of Your Word.

In Eucharist you gave Your disciples renewed life and hope. Nourish Your consecrated ones with Your own Body and Blood. Help them to imitate in their lives the death and resurrection they celebrate around Your altar.

Give them enthusiasm for the Gospel, zeal for the salvation of all people, courage in leadership and humility in service.

Give them Your love for one another and for all their brothers and sisters in You. For You love them, Lord Jesus, and we love and pray for them in Your Holy Name, today especially for _______________________. Amen.

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September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 33

Advanced Eye Institute is excited to be growing within the tri-parish community. With three locations including Thibodaux, Houma and Vacherie, the practice has continued to grow since first opening its doors in 1974. Dr. Quentin Falgoust set his sights on bringing the most advanced technology to this rural area, while also making sure to offer the highest level of care to his patients. Dr. Richard Arceneaux, as well as the extensive staff of nearly 40 employees, work diligently to carry on this legacy.

Dr. Richard Arceneaux is a Board-Certified Comprehensive Ophthalmologist and specializes in cataract, LASIK, and glaucoma surgery. He takes great pride in caring for each and every patients’ individual needs. Dr. Arceneaux believes it is important to examine the whole eye and whole patient as there could be systemic issues leading to visual problems. He is dedicated to keeping up with the latest ophthalmologic trends, in both surgical techniques and patient care. He is an extremely skilled surgeon and he is the kind of physician that listens whole heartedly and wants to connect with his patients. He is passionate about providing the best possible eye care for the patients in our community.

Ophthalmologist, Dr. Jonathan Carrere is returning home to South Louisiana and is joining the Advanced Eye Institute team after completing his residency at the University of Mississippi Medical Center. He says that one of the things that he loved most about AEI was the friendly and welcoming staff that makes you feel right at home. Dr. Carrere is excited to use the innovative technology that Advanced Eye Institute offers. He will also specialize in cataract, LASIK, and glaucoma procedures and has special interest in some eyelid procedures such as blepharoplasty. Dr. Carrere is excited to reconnect with his roots in the bayou region and is looking forward to serving the patients of the tri-parish community.

Dr. Edward Stahel is a Medical Ophthalmologist originally from New Orleans, Louisiana. Dr. Stahel joined Advanced Eye Institute after being displaced from hurricane Katrina. He has practiced medicine for over 40 years.

He thoroughly enjoys getting to know his patients and takes pride in making sure that they have the best overall eye health. Dr. Stahel has become a wonderful asset to our practice, as well as the community that he serves.

Dr. Darby Chiasson is an Optometrist from Advanced Eye Institute in Cut Off. He is a native of Cut Off and takes time away from his bustling practice to join AEI a few days per month to provide general eye exams, contact lens fittings and refractions for glasses. He has been a valued team member for over 20 years and patients love his friendly, hometown approach to patient care. He is proud to serve the patients of the tri-parish area and to work with the skilled surgeons at AEI to provide the best care for his patients both up and down the bayou region.

34 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

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September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 35

Special

On being Catholic with the big ‘C’

Faith Works

Guest Columnist

Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux

Agnes Bitature

Hurricane Barry provided an opportunity for all of us to live out our faith. It was so good to see the church in action helping people evacuate, taking care of the homebound, providing food, shelter and information, protecting property, cleaning up yards, donating supplies, and of course praying. While it was a good opportunity to exercise our faith muscles, I hope this will continue without any more hurricanes.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops tell us that our faith is profoundly social and that we cannot be called truly “Catholic” unless we hear and heed the church’s call to serve those in need and work for justice and peace. They also say that we cannot call ourselves followers of Jesus unless we take up his mission of bringing “good news to the poor, liberty to captives, and new sight to the blind” (cf. Luke 4:18) (USCCB, Sharing Catholic Social Teaching: Challenges and Directions).

So, are you Catholic?

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) states that the church’s social teaching is comprised of a body of doctrine, which is articulated as the church interprets events in the course of history, with the assistance of the Holy Spirit, in the light of the whole of what has been revealed by Jesus Christ (CCC No. 2422). Catholic social teaching proposes principles for reflection, provides criteria for judgment, and gives guidelines for action (CCC No. 2423). The church’s social doctrine suggests a systematic approach for finding solutions to problems, so that

discernment, judgment and decisions will correspond to reality, and so that solidarity and hope will have a greater impact on the complexities of current situations (Compendium of Catholic Social Teaching, No. 9).

The Catholic social teachings of our church help us to translate the faith and grace we receive on Sunday into the ordinary and extraordinary actions of our daily lives. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI explains that the teachings are not about politics but moral theology as they help us to act in accordance with precepts of our faith. He says, “Faith enables reason to do its work more effectively and to see its proper object more clearly. This is where Catholic social doctrine has its place: It has no intention of giving the church power over the state. Even less is it an attempt to impose on those who do not share the faith ways of thinking and modes of conduct proper to faith.

Its aim is simply to help purify reason and to contribute, here and now, to the acknowledgment and attainment of what is just” (Deus Caritas Est).

The Bishops tell us that Catholic social teaching is a central and essential element of our faith. Its roots are in the Hebrew prophets who announced God’s special love for the poor and called God’s people to a covenant of love and justice. It is a teaching founded on the life and words of Jesus Christ, who came “to bring glad tidings to the poor … liberty to captives … recovery of

36 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

sight to the blind” (Luke 4:18-19), and who identified himself with “the least of these,” the hungry and the stranger (cf. Matthew 25:45). Catholic social teaching is built on a commitment to the poor. This commitment arises from our experiences of Christ in the Eucharist (USCCB, Sharing Catholic Social Teaching: Challenges and Directions).

While Hurricane Barry called us into action, we still need more people and entire parishes to get involved so that social ministry is not left to a few because there is always something for everybody to do. We need to proclaim the good news that is real and lived, born out of knowledge and love of God. Social ministry is organized Gospel action by parish communities of love and justice. “We need to build local communities of faith where our social teaching is central, not fringe; where social ministry is integral, not optional; where it is the work of every believer, not just the mission of a few committed people and committees” (USCCB, Communities of Salt and Light: Responding with Social Justice).

How Catholic are you?

Please contact your parish social ministry outreach team/Matthew 25 team or Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux to volunteer.

(Agnes Bitature is the associate director of Parish Social Ministry for Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux.) BC

Special

“

When we attend to the needs of those in want, we give them what is theirs, not ours. More than performing works of mercy, we are paying a debt of justice (Pope Gregory the Great).

“

Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux 1220 Aycock St. ~ Houma, LA 70360 Assisi Bridge House: 872-5529 ~ Catholic Community Center: 632-6859 St. Lucy Child Development Center: 876-1246 Call 876-0490: A Catholic Voice for Justice ~ Adoptions & Maternity Assistance Bread or Stones Campaign ~ Catholic Campaign for Human Development Catholic Housing Services ~ Catholic Relief Services Coastal Entrepreneurs Net to Success ~ Foster Grandparent Program Good Samaritan Food Banks ~ Individual & Family Assistance Matthew 25 Disaster Services ~ Parish Social Ministry ~ Project Self Help

Phone (985) 876-0490 ~ Fax (985) 876-7751 www.htdiocese.org/catholic-charities nbourgeois@htdiocese.org September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 37

38 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

Diocesan Events

www.bayoucatholic.com

September

n Women’s Giving Circle Mass, St. Teresa of Calcutta feast day, Thursday, Sept. 5, 9 a.m., St. Lucy Church, Houma. n #iGive Catholic workshop, Thursday, Sept. 12, 4:30 p.m., diocesan Pastoral Center, Schriever. Call (985) 850-3122 to register. n #iGive Catholic workshop, Thursday,

October

n Sunday, October 6, Respect Life Sunday, Bishop Shelton J. Fabre will celebrate Mass at the Cathedral of St. Francis de Sales, Houma, at 11 a.m. n Diocesan Marriage Preparation Day, Sunday, October 6, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., diocesan Pastoral Center, Schriever. n Catholic Foundation of South

November

n St. Martin de Porres Mass for AfricanAmerican Catholics, Thursday, Nov. 7, St. Lucy Church, Houma, 6:30 p.m.; celebrated

Sept. 19, 9 a.m., diocesan Pastoral Center, Schriever. Call (985) 850-3122 to register. n #iGive Catholic workshop, Monday, Sept. 23, 1 p.m., diocesan Pastoral Center, Schriever. Call (985) 850-3122 to register. n Annual diocesan Blue Mass, Thursday, Sept. 26, 11 a.m., Cathedral of St. Francis of de Sales, Houma; celebrated

by Bishop Shelton J. Fabre. n A Mass honoring two Filipino saints, San Lorenzo Ruiz and San Pedro Calungsod, will be celebrated Sunday, Sept. 29, 1:30 p.m., St. Joseph CoCathedral, Thibodaux; celebrated by Bishop Emeritus Sam G. Jacobs.

Louisiana 2nd Annual Dinner, Thursday, Oct. 10, Nicholls State University ballroom, Thibodaux, cocktails, 6 p.m.; dinner, 7 p.m. n Annual diocesan Red Mass, Friday, Oct. 11, Cathedral of St. Francis de Sales, Houma, 11:30 a.m.; celebrated by Bishop Shelton J. Fabre. n Annual White Mass, Oct. 12-13

or Oct. 19-20, celebrated in individual diocesan church parishes. n Annual diocesan wedding anniversary prayer service and celebration, Sunday, Oct. 20, 2 p.m., Cathedral of St. Francis de Sales, Houma, for couples celebrating 25, 40, 50, 60 and beyond years of marriage this year.

by Bishop Shelton J. Fabre. n American Indian Mass of Thanksgiving, Friday, Nov. 22, St. Charles Borromeo

Church, Pointe-aux-Chenes, 6:30 p.m.; celebrated by Bishop Shelton J. Fabre.

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September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 39

Announcement

Racial sobriety workshop Saturday, Oct. 5, at Pastoral Center in Schriever Follow-up to diocesan Listening Session on Racism

“

I welcome the

opportunity that this

workshop will provide for attendees to

constructively discuss and dialogue about ridding ourselves and

“

Schriever, LA – Bishop Shelton J. Fabre, Christine Streams and Robert Gorman will lead a workshop entitled Racial Sobriety: Becoming the Change You Want to See Saturday, Oct. 5 from 9–11:45 a.m. at the diocesan Pastoral Center in Schriever. All three presenters are certified Racial Sobriety facilitators. The same workshop will be offered Friday, Oct. 4 from 9–11:45 a.m. at the Pastoral Center exclusively for clergy and religious of the diocese.

Doors will open at 8:30 a.m. for breakfast, snacks and coffee on both days.

According to Father Clarence Williams C.P.P.S., Ph.D., who developed the workshop and certifies facilitators, the workshop “offers a map for the journey from the ‘stinking thinking’ of racisms to healthy relations in the human family, locally and globally. The aim of the program is to not to make bad people good, but to make good people better! It’s called racial sobriety because we all need to recover from a culture that avoids the conversation about race due to fear, ignorance and guilt. Racial sobriety requires a selfawareness to our interactions with people of other races to examine our prejudices regarding another’s racial ‘caste’ rather than their membership in the human family. Racial sobriety is witnessing to ourselves and others that our thinking, feeling and acting reflects our commitment to seeing each person as members of the same human family.”

Father Clarence Williams, C.P.P.S, Ph.D. presents lectures and workshops on the subject of racism to civic, educational and religious leaders throughout the United States, South

our society of racism.

(Bishop Shelton J. Fabre)

America, Africa and Europe. He is the author of six books including Racial Sobriety: Becoming the Change You Want to See (2008) and the founder of the Institute for Recovery from Racisms which certifies Racial Sobriety workshop facilitators. Father Williams is a member of the Missionaries of the Precious Blood, a Roman Catholic religious order.

In November 2018, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops released the document Open Wide Our Hearts: The Enduring Call to Love, A Pastoral Letter Against Racism. This letter states that: “Racism arises when— either consciously or unconsciously—a person holds that his or her own race or ethnicity is superior, and therefore judges persons of other races or

40 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

ethnicities as inferior and unworthy of equal regard. When this conviction or attitude leads individuals or groups to exclude, ridicule, mistreat or unjustly discriminate against persons on the basis of their race or ethnicity, it is sinful.”

“The Racial Sobriety workshop will assist us in our efforts to respond to and overcome the evil and sin of racism as it continues to manifest itself among us,” says Bishop Fabre, chairperson of the USCCB Ad Hoc Committee Against Racism. “I welcome the opportunity that this workshop will provide for attendees to constructively discuss and dialogue about ridding ourselves and our society of racism.” Participants in the workshop can expect to explore, through personal reflection and group discussion, the meaning of terms such as “the racialized self, the stages of recovery from racisms and the F.I.G. complex.” The workshop will help good people become better at seeing others as being entitled to respect and discovering the social and cultural challenges that block us from living this way. This is an opportunity for spiritual growth and a chance to develop our right relationships with the neighbors and strangers we encounter daily who could be, to each of us, the face of God. This workshop is a follow-up to the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux’s Listening Session on Racism that was held in March 2019 at the Pastoral Center. It is free and open to everyone, but attendance is limited. Preregistration is required by calling Very Rev. Alex Gaudet at (985) 850-3124 or by e-mailing bishopsec@htdiocese.org.

BC

Announcement

Bishop appoints new deans for Upper Lafourche and South Lafourche Deaneries

Very Rev. Vicente DeLa Cruz, V.F.

Very Rev. Thankachan Nambusseril, V.F.

Bishop Shelton J. Fabre has announced the appointment of new deans for the Upper Lafourche Deanery and the South Lafourche Deanery, effective immediately, for a period of six years.

Very Rev. Vicente (Vic) DeLa Cruz, J.C.L., V.F., who is currently serving as pastor of St. Joseph Co-Cathedral parish in Thibodaux, has been appointed dean of the Upper Lafourche Deanery. Father DeLa Cruz, a native of Olongapo City, Philippines, was ordained to the priesthood Dec. 8, 1990. He has been serving as pastor of Joseph Co-Cathedral parish since January 2018.

Very Rev. Thankachan (John) Nambusseril, V.F., who is currently serving as pastor of Our Lady of Prompt Succor in Golden Meadow, has been appointed dean of the South Lafourche Deanery.

Father Nambusseril, a native of Kunhome, India, graduated from the Dharmaram Pontifical Institute in Bangalore, India, and was ordained to the priesthood Dec. 29, 1993. He has been serving as pastor of Our Lady of Prompt Succor in Golden Meadow since July 2019.

Very Rev. Mike Tran, V.F., currently serves as dean of the Terrebonne Deanery. BC

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September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 41

Announcements

Bayou Lafourche Eucharistic Procession Oct. 5 The Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux’s 2019 Bayou Lafourche Eucharistic Procession will take place Saturday, Oct. 5, beginning at 8 a.m. with Mass at Our Lady of Prompt Succor Church in Golden Meadow. Boat procession departs from OLPS at 9:30 a.m., arriving at Our Lady of the Rosary Church in Larose at 11:30 a.m. The procession will depart Larose by fire truck at 12:30 p.m., arrive at St. Joseph Cemetery in Thibodaux at 1:30 p.m., and then continue on foot to St. Joseph Co-Cathedral, for benediction at 2:45 p.m.

For more information, email tduet@ htdiocese.org, call Trisha Duet at (985) 475-5428 or Greg at (985) 637-8198.

Everyone is invited to take part in this procession. BC

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Life Chain is Oct. 6

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42 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

The annual Life Chain in the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux will be held on Respect Life Sunday, October 6, 2019, from 2–3 p.m. (rain or shine). This is a peaceful and prayerful public witness of pro-life Americans standing for one hour praying for our nation and for an end to abortion.

Those participating in the Houma Life Chain will line the median of Tunnel Boulevard in Houma.

The Larose Life Chain participants will stand in the front yard of Our Lady of the Rosary Church in Larose.

The Lockport Life Chain participants will line Hwy. 1 (Crescent Avenue) in Lockport. Participants are invited to gather at Town Hall at 1:45 p.m.

The Thibodaux Life Chain participants will line the median of Canal Boulevard in Thibodaux.

Join with other pro-life Christians to make a statement to our community that “Abortion Kills Children.” BC

Announcement

Blue Mass Sept. 26 Red Mass Oct. 11 The annual diocesan Blue Mass will be celebrated Thursday, Sept. 26, at the Cathedral of St. Francis de Sales in Houma, at 11 a.m., by Bishop Shelton J. Fabre.

This Mass, which honors firefighters, law enforcement, emergency responders and military personnel, is usually planned on or near the feast of the Archangels, Michael, Gabriel and Raphael (Sept. 29.) St. Michael is the patron saint of community protectors.

All law enforcement, military and fire department personnel throughout the diocese including the South Lafourche communities and Morgan City as well as the Houma-Thibodaux area are invited to attend this special Mass in their honor.

The annual diocesan Red Mass will be celebrated Friday, Oct. 11, at the Cathedral of St. Francis de Sales in Houma, at 11:30 a.m., by Bishop Shelton J. Fabre.

This Mass is usually celebrated near the opening of the judicial season to pray for members of the legal profession, that is, judges, lawyers and their staffs, and all other legal professionals.

“These Masses are celebrations of the entire local church, not simply of those for whom we offer special prayer intentions. We encourage all of the faithful to join in the celebration of these Masses,” says Father Glenn LeCompte, diocesan director of the Office of Worship. BC

Outreach Line In response to the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux is offering an Outreach Line (formerly known as the Child Protection Contact Line). The Outreach Line is an effort to continue the diocesan commitment to support healing for people who have been hurt or sexually abused recently or in the past by clergy, religious or other employees of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux.

The Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux Outreach Line operates from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday. A trained mental health professional responds to the line. Individuals are offered additional assistance if requested.

The Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux Outreach Line Telephone number is (985) 873-0026 or (985) 850-3172

Línea de Comunicación Diocesana

Con el fin de cumplir con las Políticas de Protección de Niños y Jóvenes de la Conferencia de Obispos Católicos de Los Estados Unidos, la Diócesis de Houma-Thibodaux ofrece una Línea de Comunicación (antes Línea de Contacto para la Protección de los Niños). La Línea de Comunicación es parte del esfuerzo diocesano de comprometerse con el mejoramiento de aquéllos que han sido lastimados o abusados sexualmente recientemente o en el pasado por miembros del clero, religiosos u otros empleados de la Diócesis de Houma-Thibodaux.

El horario de la Línea de Comunicación de la Diócesis de Houma-Thibodaux es de 8:30 a.m. a 4:30 p.m., de lunes a viernes. El encargado de esta línea es un profesional capacitado en salud mental. Se ofrece asistencia adicional al ser solicitada.

Línea de Comunicación de la Diócesis de Houma-Thibodaux Número de teléfono (985) 873-0026 o (985) 850-3172

Ñöôøng daây ñieän thoaïi Cöùu giuùp Giaùo phaän Ñeå höôûng öùng Hieán chöông Baûo veä Treû em vaø Giôùi treû töø Hoäi ñoàng Giaùm muïc Hoa kyø, Giaùo phaän Houma-Thibodaux ñang chuaån bò ñöôøng daây ñieän thoaïi Cöùu giuùp (luùc tröôùc laø ñöôøng daây lieân laïc baûo veä treû em). Ñöôøng daây ñieän thoaïi Cöùu giuùp laø moät söï coá gaéng cuûa giaùo phaän nhaèm cam keát haøn gaén naâng ñôõ nhöõng ai ñaõ bò toån thöông hoaëc bò laïm duïng tính duïc hoaëc gaàn ñaây hoaëc trong quaù khöù bôûi giaùo só, tu só hoaëc caùc coâng nhaân vieân cuûa Giaùo phaän Houma-Thibodaux. Ñöôøng daây ñieän thoaïi Cöùu giuùp Giaùo phaän hoaït ñoäng töø 8:30 saùng ñeán 4:30 chieàu, thöù hai ñeán thöù saùu. Moät nhaân vieân chuyeân nghieäp veà söùc khoûe taâm thaàn traû lôøi treân ñöôøng daây ñieän thoaïi. Nhöõng caù nhaân seõ ñöôïc trôï giuùp naâng ñôõ theâm neáu caàn.

Ñöôøng daây ñieän thoaïi Cöùu giuùp Giaùo phaän Soá ñieän thoaïi: (985) 873-0026; (985) 850-3172

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 43

Announcement

Annual March for Life registration is underway Every year, young people in 10th12th grade from throughout the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux are invited to participate in the March for Life, a youth pilgrimage to Washington, D.C. The national march, whose mission is “to provide all Americans with a place to testify to the beauty of life and the dignity of each human person,” is a lifechanging, inspiring and educational opportunity for all who participate. The Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux’s youth pilgrimage to the national march takes participants to historical monuments relating to life, including the Holocaust Museum and the War Cemeteries, and to celebrate the sacred liturgy at

the National Basilica. The pilgrimage is designed to be a seminarian led retreat that focuses on respecting the life of our unborn neighbor in the womb while considering the dignity, value and calling of one’s own life. The youth of our diocese will join the hundreds of thousands of others from across America who want to take a stand for life.

The 2020 charter bus pilgrimage will take place Jan. 20-25. With limited seating, the total cost for the pilgrimage is estimated at $58,000. Registration cost is $850 per person. A $500 deposit is due with completed registration paperwork by Wednesday, Oct. 16.

44 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

The remaining balance per participant is due at the mandatory meeting for all youth and leaders attending the pilgrimage on Nov. 19, at the diocesan Pastoral Center from 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Registrations should be collected through church parishes or Catholic high schools. There will be a special second collection supporting the March for Life on Sunday, Oct. 6, 2019, to help defray the cost of the pilgrimage for leadership.

For more information or to make direct donations for the pilgrimage, please contact the diocesan Office of Vocations at (985)850-3129 or visit www.htdiocese.org/M4L. BC

Announcement

Catholic Charismatic Renewal Revival Oct. 19

The Catholic Charismatic Renewal of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux will host the “Your Faith Has Set You Free Revival 2019: Encounter God’s Transforming Power,” Saturday, Oct. 19 from 9 a.m. until 9 p.m., at the St. Hilary Community Center in Mathews.

Bishop Shelton J. Fabre will deliver the opening prayer.

Speakers for the event will be Andi Oney, an international Catholic evangelist and senior team member of Hope and Purpose Ministries; Father Jim Blount, S.O.L.T., National Chaplain for the Flame of Love Movement who is known for his healing and deliverance ministry; and Kerry Bueche, Catholic lay evangelist and founder of Voice of the Lord Ministries.

Music will be provided by Tongues of Fire from New Orleans, Sounds of Praise from Lake Charles, and Metanoia from Bayou Lafourche.

Several diocesan priests will be available for the sacrament of reconciliation throughout

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the day. Refreshments will be provided. Meals will be available for a small donation.

“Time and again we’ve received this prophetic word and our hearts are on fire now, as we press forward into the destiny our Lord has for his people. With age comes steadfast clarity, unshakeable wisdom and renewed eagerness for the new things God is sure to do in our lives. Whether you’re new to this adventure or beginning your spiritual journey, you’re invited to participate, to receive and to lead with us. The Lord’s people need you,” says Penny Antill, bishop’s liaison for the diocesan Catholic Charismatic Renewal.

For more information about this event, e-mail Antill at pantill@ htdiocese.org. BC

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www.ptcenter-la.com September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 45

Announcement

Filipino Mass is Sept. 29 A Mass honoring two Filipino saints, San Lorenzo Ruiz and San Pedro Calungsod, will be celebrated Sunday, Sept. 29, at 1:30 p.m., at St. Joseph Co-Cathedral in Thibodaux. Bishop Emeritus Sam G. Jacobs will celebrate the Mass, which will be concelebrated by local Filipino priests.

Barong, Filipiniana attire requested.

There will be a potluck/shared meal reception and fellowship in the St. Joseph Life Center after the Mass. The Filipino-American community invites all to attend this Feast Day celebration of the Filipino saints.

For more information, call Minda Duncan at (985) 227-8102. BC

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Announcement

Crossroads Pregnancy Resource Center Celebrate Life Gala is Sept. 25 Crossroads Pregnancy Resource Center’s Fifteenth Annual Celebrate Life Gala will be held Wednesday, Sept. 25 from 6:30–9:30 p.m. at the Cotillion Ballroom on the Nicholls State University Campus in Thibodaux.

Michele Beary, LAS, executive director of Crossroads Pregnancy Resource Center since March 2016, says the event’s name, Celebrate Life Gala, reflects its mission of promoting the sanctity of life. The Center’s funding comes from individual donors, grant writing and fundraising events. This year’s annual Gala will commemorate the Center’s 15th anniversary of celebrating life and offering hope to families throughout the community.

“Lives are being saved and transformed through the helping hands and hearts of our staff, volunteers and the gifts of our generous supporters,” says Beary.

Crossroads Pregnancy Resource Center in Thibodaux, whose mission is “to promote the sanctity of life by providing compassionate care to women experiencing unplanned pregnancies and to provide education, guidance and spiritual support, especially to those considering abortion or other alternatives, in a spirit of compassion, love and grace,” is an excellent resource for young women faced with an unplanned pregnancy who may be looking for alternatives that respect the value and dignity of human life.

You are cordially invited to the

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Celebrate Life Gala Wednesday, The Twenty-Fifth of September Two Thousand Nineteen 6:30 pm—9:30 pm Nicholls State University Cotillion Ballroom

Silent Auction, Music, Drinks & Hor d’oeuvres Business—Cocktail Attire $75 for individual tickets This event is open to the public. Please help us spread the word.

To purchase tickets or for sponsorship opportunities, please call 985.446.5004 or email michele@crossroadsprc.org.

All Gala proceeds will benefit Crossroads Pregnancy Resource Center, a non-profit Christian ministry which promotes the sanctity of life by providing caring services to pregnant women in crisis.

Crossroads serves clients in Lafourche, Terrebonne, St. Mary, St. James and Assumption parishes.

Clients are served without regard to age, race, income, nationality, religious affiliation, disability or other arbitrary circumstances.

This year’s Gala will include a silent auction, music, drinks and hors d’oeuvres. Tickets are $75 each. To purchase tickets or for sponsorship opportunities, call (985) 446-5004 or visit the website www.crossroadsprc. org. The center is located at 105 St. Louis Street in Thibodaux and is open Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. or by appointment.

Walk-ins are welcome. BC

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September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 47

Nation

Citing El Paso shooting, U.S. bishops condemn divisive, hateful rhetoric Washington D.C., Aug 9, 2019, (CNA) - Leaders of the U.S. bishops’ conference on issues of immigration and racism denounced xenophobic and dehumanizing language in the United States, warning that it fosters discrimination and hatred.

“The tragic loss of life of 22 people this weekend in El Paso demonstrates that hate-filled rhetoric and ideas can become the motivation for some to commit acts of violence,” the bishops said.

“The anti-immigrant, anti-refugee, anti-Muslim and anti-Semitic sentiments that have been publicly proclaimed in our society in recent years have incited hatred in our communities.”

The statement was issued Aug. 8 by Bishop Joe Vásquez of Austin, head of the U.S. bishops’ migration committee; Bishop Frank Dewane of Venice, Florida, chair of the domestic social development committee; and Bishop Shelton J. Fabre of Houma-Thibodaux, head of the ad hoc committee against racism.

On Saturday Aug. 3, an armed man opened fire at a shopping complex in El Paso, TX, killing 22 and injuring more than two dozen, according to police reports. The suspect is in custody.

The shooter reportedly published a four-page document online in the hours before the attack, detailing his hatred toward immigrants and Hispanics. He also reportedly described the weapons he would use in the shooting. Police said he appeared to have been targeting Latinos during the attack.

Following the shooting, critics quickly turned their attention to President Donald Trump, noting that the suspect’s manifesto had echoed some of his language, such as characterizing immigrants as an “invasion.” They also denounced the president’s derogatory comments aimed at cities and countries with large black populations, and his suggestion that four Democratic congresswomen of color “go back” to their home countries, despite their being U.S. citizens.

“Donald Trump has created plenty

48 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

of space for hate,” said presidential hopeful Senator Elizabeth Warren.

“He is a racist. He has made one racist remark after another. He has put in place racist policies. And we’ve seen the consequences of it.”

Senator Bernie Sanders, who is also running for president, tweeted at Trump after the shooting, “Your language creates a climate which emboldens violent extremists.”

Rep. Alexandria OcasioCortez (D-N.Y.) went a step further, calling Trump’s rhetoric on immigration “directly responsible” for the El Paso shooting.

In his initial response to the shooting, Trump condemned the violence but did not mention white nationalism. In a later televised appearance, he said, “In one voice our nation must condemn racism, bigotry and white supremacy.”

On the day of the shooting, Cardinal Daniel DiNardo of GalvestonHouston, president of the U.S. bishops’ conference, and Bishop Dewane issued a statement, denouncing the

a

Nation

violence as “senseless and inhumane” and calling for legislation to address “the plague that gun violence has become” in the United States.

The second statement from the U.S. bishops comes as criticism mounts against the president for his rhetoric regarding minorities.

In their Aug. 8 statement, the bishops did not reference Trump, or any other political leader, by name. Instead they asked all Americans “to stop using hate-filled language that demeans and divides us and motivates some to such horrific violence.”

They noted that racial hatred was also apparent as a motivation in last year’s Tree of Life Synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh and the Mother Emanuel AME Church shooting in Charleston in 2015. “(We) ask our leaders and all Americans to work to unite us as a great, diverse and welcoming people,” the bishops said.

While the bishops’ statement avoided calling out Trump by name, San Antonio Archbishop Gustavo GarcíaSiller addressed the president in his initial response to the shooting several days earlier.

On his personal Twitter account, the archbishop posted Aug. 5, “President, you are a poor man, a very weak (sic) man. Stop damaging people. Please!”

A second tweet read, “President, stop your hatred. People in the U.S. deserve better.”

The tweets were later deleted.

In a video posted to the archdiocesan Facebook page the next day, GarcíaSiller said, “I regret that my recent Tweet remarks were not focused on the issues, but on an individual.”

“All individuals have God-given dignity and should be accorded respect and love as children of God,” the archbishop said, adding, “We should be aware of this in our discourse about the office of the president of the United

States, which is due our respect.”

García-Siller encouraged prayers for the victims of violence and said his desire is to bring hope and healing, and act in a way that reflects civility and builds unity.

“If I have added to anyone’s pain at this emotional time, I deeply regret it.”

The archbishop reiterated his condemnation of racism, which he said is still a problem in America today.

“No one has the moral right to make racist statements,” he said, denouncing harassment of immigrants and rhetoric that instigates fear.

“We must pray fervently for peace amidst all the violence which seems to be overwhelming in our society.

We must be lights in the darkness,” the archbishop concluded. “We do not need more division, but rather we need to move forward in freedom to discuss these topics more deeply in light of the Gospel.” BC

Jazz social, silent auction, and farm-to-table cuisine featuring local chefs on the beautiful grounds of Saint Joseph Abbey and Seminary College

“Time, Place, and Eternity Somehow Meet” by Denise Hopkins

Deo Gratias Benefit Gala for Saint Joseph Seminary College

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Vespers begins at 6 p.m. • Gala to follow from 7-10 p.m.

Patron Party at 5 p.m. in the Monastic Refectory exclusive to sponsors.

Patron Party tickets required.

For more info, contact Debb De Noux at 985-867-2264 or ddenoux@sjasc.edu

Buy tickets online at www.saintjosephabbey.com Sponsorships available

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 49

Nation

These are the six U.S. states with one remaining abortion clinic Washington D.C., (CNA) Amid efforts in many states to pass prolife legislation and challenge the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision, six states— Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, South Dakota and West Virginia— have reached the point of having just one abortion clinic remaining active.

Despite this, federal judges have blocked several states’ most recent efforts to restrict abortion, a number of which were set to go into effect this summer.

Judge Carlton W. Reeves of the Federal District Court in Jackson, MS, on May 24 temporarily blocked a Mississippi law that prohibited abortions after a fetal heartbeat can be detected, which would have effectively banned abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy. The law was set to go into effect July 1.

Mississippi still has just one abortion clinic remaining— Jackson Women’s Health Organization.

North Dakota’s governor signed into law in April a bill that outlaws the common abortion procedure known as “dilation and evacuation,” also known as “dismemberment abortion,” but the law is not currently being enforced due to legal challenges.

The state also passed a law requiring physicians to tell women that they may reverse a medication abortion, a requirement which is also facing legal challenges. The state’s lone abortion clinic, Red River Women’s Clinic, is suing to block the new laws.

In Missouri, an eight-week abortion ban, which Gov. Mike Parson signed in May and was set to take effect Aug. 28, is being challenged in court.

The state’s lone abortion clinic, a Planned Parenthood located in St. Louis, failed to meet the state requirements for relicensing, but the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services is allowing the clinic to continue performing abortions until

LAWRENCE CHATAGNIER/BAYOU CATHOLIC

Oct. 28, when the next hearing to determine the clinic’s final status is scheduled.

Federal Judge David J. Hale of the Western District of Kentucky in March blocked a law that would prohibit abortion after the detection of a fetal heartbeat in Kentucky. EMW Women’s Surgical Center in Louisville is the last abortion clinic in that state.

Other states’ attempts to pass “heartbeat bills” that ban abortion following the detection of a fetal heartbeat have run into similar judicial hurdles. Due to the existing legal precedent of the Supreme Court’s 1973 Roe v. Wade decision, which found that a woman has a constitutional right to an abortion, legislation that restricts abortion prior to fetal viability is generally found to be unconstitutional.

Women’s Health Center of West Virginia in Charleston is that state’s last clinic. South Dakota’s last clinic is Planned Parenthood in Sioux Falls.

50 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

District Court Judge Kristine Baker of the Eastern District of Arkansas blocked new abortion regulations Aug. 6 in that state while legal challenges play out in court, saying that women would “suffer irreparable harm” if the laws were to be enforced.

The laws in question would ban abortions in Arkansas after 18 weeks of pregnancy, except in cases of rape, incest and medical emergency. They would require doctors who perform abortions to be board-certified or eligible in obstetrics and gynecology, and they would prohibit abortions based solely on a Down Syndrome diagnosis for the baby.

Arkansas’ laws had been set to go into effect July 24. In the meantime, the state only has one surgical abortion clinic— Little Rock Family Planning Services— but Planned Parenthood Little Rock still performs medical abortions. BC

Nation

KC convention aims to promote unity through solidarity

By Matt Hadro Minneapolis, MN., (CNA) Echoing the theme of unity, the Knights of Columbus are launching new efforts to forge ties with the neglected and to repair frayed social bonds.

“We talk about being brothers and sisters, we talk about being Knights of unity, well let’s look at our neighbors right here that have been too long neglected and forgotten,” Supreme Knight Carl Anderson said Aug. 7 of a new project of the Knights to work more with Native American and First Nation leaders in the U.S. and Canada.

The Knights of Columbus held its 137th Supreme Convention Aug. 6-8 in Minneapolis, MN. Clerics joined leaders of councils in attendance from the U.S., Mexico, Canada, Cuba, the Dominican Republic, the Philippines, South Korea, France, Ukraine, Lithuania, Poland, Panama, the island of St. Lucia and the Bahamas.

Under a convention theme of “Knights of unity,” the order announced two new projects to promote solidarity with neglected and vulnerable populations and called for Catholics to lead the way on civility.

The order also granted full membership posthumously to a Colorado high school student who died protecting his classmates in a school shooting.

Knights in attendance moved to grant Kendrick Castillo full membership in the order, honoring the 18-year-old Catholic student, and son of Knight John Castillo, who died while rushing a gunman at STEM High School in Highlands Ranch, CO, May 7; Kendrick suffered a fatal gunshot wound, but according to eyewitnesses his act enabled two fellow students successfully to disarm the gunman.

Anderson presented Castillo’s parents with the Caritas Award, the organization’s second-highest award, on Kendrick’s behalf at Tuesday night’s States Dinner.

In his remarks in the convention’s opening business session, Anderson announced two new initiatives: One to

provide humanitarian aid to refugees at the U.S.-Mexico border, and another to begin working more closely with Native American and First Nation leaders in the U.S. and Canada to help meet their needs.

“As many as one in four Native Americans are Catholic,” Anderson said, “yet in many ways, these brothers and sisters in the faith have been forgotten.”

As the Knights in the past several decades were expanding their charitable efforts in new countries, “it just occurred to us that we were overlooking an important tradition in our own country,” Anderson told CNA of the decision to launch the initiative.

The history of Native Americans who were “cleansed” from the U.S. is a tragic one, but it must be told, he said. From the Puritan colonists in New England who attacked and essentially “erased” the indigenous Pequots in the 1630s, to the forced displacement of Cherokee nation on the Trail of Tears 200 years later, to the present-day, “we need to know the history, we need to know the pain,” Anderson told CNA. “Despite many hardships, neglect and a history of brutality toward them, still they hold fast to our Catholic faith,” Anderson said on Tuesday.

Catholic leaders on reservations told the Knights that the “number one problem” is a “lack of hope,” he said.

Problems of alcoholism and drug addiction are rampant in the community, along with homelessness, disappearances of women and children, and suicide.

On Aug. 11, the Knights joined the Diocese of Gallup and the Southwest Indian Foundation to break ground on the construction of a new shrine in Gallup, NM, to St. Kateri Tekakwitha— the first Native American saint.

“It is our hope that in the years to come this St. Kateri Shrine will become a national spiritual home for Native Americans and for all Catholics in North America,” Anderson said.

And in the coming months, the Knights will work with the Black

and Indian Mission Office and will encourage councils to reach out to reservations and begin working with them to see what their greatest needs are.

“I don’t think we often appreciate what that kind of loneliness means for people, and what an idea that this is a church that’s a community of brothers and sisters that care,” Anderson told CNA. “That means a lot.”

As the migrant crisis at the U.S.Mexico border shows no signs of abating, Anderson announced on Tuesday that the order is “prepared to commit at least $250,000 immediately in humanitarian aid for refugees.”

“We’re going to do a lot in terms of volunteering, and material support,” Anderson explained to CNA, while the Knights will “try to stay out of the politics of the issue.”

“Maybe our activism will encourage the politicians to get serious and try to solve it,” he said of the crisis. “It’s a solvable problem, but we can do a lot just to make their situation better.”

Anderson capped off Tuesday with another call for unity, this time a plea for Catholics to lead the way in promoting civility.

After presenting the Caritas Medal to the family of Kendrick Castillo, Anderson ended the States Dinner by noting the decline in civility in the current discourse, with Catholics making personal attacks with words like “bigot,” “heretic,” and “schismatic,” and “with alarming regularity.”

Citing the work of the Knights to fight anti-Catholic vitriol a century ago, he asked “every Catholic commentator and every candidate for political office, and especially Catholic candidates” to sign a pledge of civility that the Knights will be circulating online.

The Knights launched a similar effort during the 2012 elections, Anderson noted, but none of the presidential candidates signed the pledge.

“I think it’s fair to say that things have only gotten worse since that time,” he told CNA. BC

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 51

Sports

There are question marks, however the Saints have a bevy of talented young players Overtime Ed Daniels

It is there on youtube.com for all to see.

That is, former Saints head coach Jim Mora and former New Orleans TV sports director Ron Swoboda debating the idea of a meaningless game.

As we waded through four quarters of preseason football at the Superdome, for the record, a 34-25 loss to Minnesota, I could understand Swoboda’s thinking.

So, the mind of a reporter drifted off to another item.

The notion that somehow the Saints are heading for some sort of 2019 correction.

The win “total” on the Saints this season in Vegas is 10.5.

This, for a team that has won 24 regular season games since an 0-2 start in 2017.

Maybe those rushing to bet the under are expecting this to finally be the year when the play of Drew Brees falls off significantly.

Yet, Brees is coming off a year where he threw only five interceptions, and completed a stunning 74.4 percent of his passes.

And, the Saints offensive line, already a very good one, added center Erik McCoy in the second round.

McCoy was in the starting lineup against Minnesota, and appears to be a real keeper.

He could be a fixture at center for the next 10 years.

The Saints had only five picks in the 2019 draft, and at least four appear to be ready to make significant contributions.

Injuries, or lack of, do play a huge part in a team’s success.

At the quarterback club early last season, guest speaker and former Saints tackle Zach Strief was asked about the Saints being a Super Bowl contender.

“Tell me what our lineup looks like in week 15,” said Strief.

The Saints did get through the 2018 season relatively healthy.

Michael Thomas, Cam Jordan, Marshon Lattimore and Demario Davis all played 16 games.

Drew Brees, Alvin Kamara and Ryan Ramcyzk would have played 16 games, but they were held out of the season finale, a 33-14 loss at home to the Carolina Panthers.

There are question marks.

52 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

Can the Saints interior defense hold up as defensive tackle Sheldon Rankins rehabs an ACL tear?

Who is the Saints third, and fourth receiver?

Was defensive end Marcus Davenport worth surrendering two first round picks?

But, is a “crash” coming?

That’s the take of one national radio host.

On his program, Colin Cowherd likened the Saints coming downturn to the ones suffered last season by Jacksonville and Minnesota.

“You can see it from a mile away,” said Cowherd.

For a team that has tied the Rams and Patriots for most regular season wins since the start of 2017, it is an interesting take.

But, here’s a question to ponder as we count down to the start of the real games.

How many teams in the NFL have more talented young players than the New Orleans Saints? BC

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Meet our couples

56 Advice How to make marriage work

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Partnership

Marriage preparation guidelines

Five challenges and five opportunities

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Advice Resolving differences

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September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 55

Marriage

Couples featured in our Marriage Special Why is the sacrament of marriage important to you as a couple?

CRYSTAL SANDERSON PHOTOGRAPHY

Kaitlyn and I have always held true to the same three virtues throughout our lives; God, family and love. When we each said “I do” we knew that our marriage was going to be a special bond. It is through the sacrament of marriage that we have grown so much in these past few months. I thank God every day for guiding me to my beloved almost five years ago and for blessing us with our wonderful life.

Matthew and Kaitlyn Meche Christ the Redeemer Church parish, Thibodaux Wedding Date: May 25, 2019

PETERSEN PHOTOGRAPHY

As a wedding gift, we received this quote by Beth Stuckwisch, “Marriage takes three to be complete; it’s not enough for two to meet. They must be united in love by love’s creator, God above. A marriage that follows God’s plan takes more than a woman and man. It needs a oneness that can be only from Christ - marriage takes three.“ This beautifully describes everything we believe about the sacrament of marriage. God has to be at our relationship’s center for it to grow and our family to thrive. The importance of the sacrament of marriage is for us to be united with God’s blessing and in His presence.

Growing up, Carley and I both were raised by faith filled families. God and spirituality have been instilled in the both of us for as long as we can remember. As a couple, we both agreed on how important it was to have our marriage celebrated in the church. As Catholics, we knew the sacrament of marriage would be meaningless without the blessing and presence of God throughout our ceremony. We owe it all to him. It was a beautiful celebration and we are so blessed and thankful every day.

John and Grace Maynard St. Bridget Church parish, Schriever Wedding Date: March 2, 2019

Carley and Katelyn Matranga Holy Savior Church parish, Lockport Wedding Date: January 11, 2019

56 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

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Marriage Preparation in the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux

Approximately 125 engaged couples attend the Marriage Preparation Day annually, says Joe Klapatch, of the Office of Parish Support.

Marriage Preparation Day

The Marriage Preparation Day is a diocesan requirement that provides the opportunity for engaged couples to invest some time and effort into their formation as lifelong bride and groom, says Klapatch.

Some of these benefits are: v Faith based preparation about the sacrament of marriage; v Get a better understanding of marriage as a “sacrament.” Why do you want to get married in the church? What do couples consent to through a wedding in the Catholic Church? v Helps them to understand that there is a whole other family unit that wants to help them be successful in their marriage; v Build a strong faith based foundation for their marriage; v A connection back to the church – why it is important to be a part of the church and register in a parish.

FOCCUS Couples

Married couples may be invited to participate actively in the marriage preparation of engaged couples in their church parish as FOCCUS couples. FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study) is a premarital instrument designed to help assess a couple’s readiness for marriage; it is a “snapshot” of where the couple is in their relationship at that moment. The diocese uses this instrument to help couples identify issues that need to be discussed, etc. FOCCUS couples are trained by the diocesan FOCCUS trainer of facilitators, and their number varies from parish to parish and priest to priest.

Attendance at Marriage Preparation Day

There is currently no set limit

Marriage preparation guidelines for the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux The Sacrament of Marriage

The sacrament of marriage is a serious and sacred commitment that calls a couple to each other in the most profound and permanent way. Their mutual love is a reminder of the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ. By the grace of their sacrament, they become able to love one another as Christ has loved them. As a married couple, they become a visible sign and reminder of Christ’s sacrificial love for all people.

The Engaged Couple

A couple desiring to be married is encouraged to contact their priest/deacon at least six (6) months (or more) prior to the proposed date of their wedding. This interval allows time to prepare well for such a sacred commitment.

The engaged couple must take an active part in all the steps of these guidelines which apply to them. With the assistance of their priest/deacon, they are to: v Identify and cultivate their strengths, v Deal with the areas of difficulty in their relationship, v Participate in assessment and preparation, v Recognize that marriage is essentially characterized by unity, fidelity, permanence and an openness to children, v Attend a formal marriage preparation program, v Participate in premarital evaluation and counseling when recommended.

A tentative wedding date may be set at the time of this initial contact with the priest/deacon. When the couple has completed phase two of the marriage preparation process, the tentative wedding date will be confirmed or changed.

Responsibilities

1. Priest/Deacon The church has the pastoral obligation to assist those desiring to marry to make a prayerful and mature judgment concerning their marriage. In particular, the priest/ deacon, who plans to witness a marriage, is personally responsible for the complete marriage preparation process. He has the serious moral and ministerial responsibility to assist the engaged couple in understanding the meaning of Christian marriage in its human, spiritual, canonical and sacramental aspects, and to provide a liturgical experience that truly celebrates and manifests the momentous step that the couple is taking.

2. Community The faithful in each parish share in the pastoral responsibility to help engaged couples prepare for their life together. Married couples have a particular responsibility to witness the holiness of their sacramental life of intimacy, unity, self-sacrificing love and commitment. They may therefore be invited to participate actively in the marriage preparation of engaged couples in their parish.

3. Parents The church recognizes the unique and vital role of parents in the psychological, social, moral and spiritual development of their children. Renewal in the church has included attempts to make sacramental preparation more family centered. Parents are therefore encouraged to respond to the invitation of the priest/deacon to participate actively in the assessment and preparation of their children for marriage in the church whenever possible.

The Marriage Preparation Process

All engaged couples are required to receive sacramental preparation and must meet with their priest/deacon at least six months (or more) prior to the desired wedding date. This marriage preparation process consists of four phases.

1. Phase One: Initial contact with priest/deacon will: v Establish rapport with you in order to support and counsel you at this most important time in your life. v Examine your motives for marriage. v Explore any special circumstances that may affect marriage, e.g., age, cultural background, pregnancy, military service, physical or emotional problems, levels of faith and religious issues.

58 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

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to the amount of couples per date that are able to attend Marriage Preparation Day which is offered four times throughout the year in the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux

Marriage Preparation on the Internet

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v Explain the marriage preparation process. v Obtain personal information, explain what other documentation is needed, and determine whether any dispensations or permissions will be necessary.

2. Phase Two: Assessment process with priest/deacon will: v Administer a Premarital Instrument* to assist in beginning the assessment of your readiness to marry. v Discuss the results of the FOCCUS instrument. v Discuss the strengths and weaknesses of your communication process. v Examine the sacramental aspects of your human covenant. v Assess your readiness for marriage and complete the prenuptial questionnaire. v Begin the liturgical wedding plans and present to you the parish guidelines.

Inform you of the cost and suggested offering. *A premarital instrument is a tool designed to help you assess your readiness for marriage. It is not a pass/fail indicator. Instead it is meant to help you discover more about yourselves and each other in a non-threatening and objective way. Our diocese utilizes the FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding and Study) instrument to help you identify issues that need to be discussed, reflected on, understood, studied for problem-solving, skill-building and decision-making. Your priest/deacon will give you more information at your initial meeting.

During phase two, the priest/deacon will make the decision to proceed or delay the marriage. If he proceeds, the wedding date will be confirmed and the process continues.

If his decision is to delay the marriage, he will follow the procedure found in Delay of Marriage.

3. Phase Three: Formal marriage preparation This instructional phase, formal marriage preparation, presents the essential human and Christian aspects of marriage so that the couple becomes aware of the total dimensions of the marriage covenant. Formal marriage preparation includes reflection on the nature and sacramentality of marriage, married love and family life, couple prayer, marital responsibilities, communication within marriage, personal expectations, natural family planning and other practical considerations.

There are two approved options in the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux. If you are unable to attend such a formal marriage preparation program, you must discuss this with your priest/deacon immediately.

These are the approved options: v The diocesan Marriage Preparation program This is a one day conference that seeks to prepare engaged couples for the sacrament of marriage and every day after. Paul and Gretchen George, of the Art of Living Ministries, present engaging sessions throughout the day, using humor and parts of their own story. The talks will center around the following themes: Family of origin, marriage expectations, communication, sexuality, finances and spirituality. Through it all, engagement is discerning and preparing for a life-long companionship. When couples begin the hard work now, marriages will start off with a firm foundation, with an understanding of how God intended marriage to be, and how God desires us to live out our marriage vocation. v Engaged Encounter Weekend Retreat in the surrounding dioceses

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Catholicmarriageprep.com is an online program based in the Diocese of Colorado Springs, CO, that is featured on the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops website as a valid marriage preparation course.

This program is approved by the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux for couples with extenuating circumstances.

Updating the program

The diocese is constantly looking to update the Marriage Preparation Program and revise its marriage policies in response to changing circumstances in our society, in our economy and in the universal church. The sacrament part doesn’t change, but other factors are constantly changing

Pre-Cana

Pre-Cana, the name the diocese used for its marriage preparation program for many years, is still the name many parishes and dioceses give to their marriage preparation program. The term is derived from John 2:1–12, the wedding feast at Cana in Galilee, where Jesus performed the miracle of turning water into wine.

Catholic Engaged Encounter

This weekend retreat for engaged couples is an in-depth, private, personal, marriage preparation experience within the context of Catholic faith and values. During the weekend retreat there is plenty of alone time for couples to dialogue honestly and intensively about their prospective lives together – their strengths and weaknesses, desires, ambitions, goals, their attitudes about money, sex, children, family, their role in the church and society – in a face to face way.

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 59

Twelve tips for married couples v Manage your expectations.

Marriage preparation guidelines for the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux

v Never assume, ask.

Upcoming Marriage Preparation Dates

v Remember to always say “I love you” and “thank you.” v Continually fall in love with your partner. v Don’t be so quick to judge. v Don’t give 50 percent; give 100 percent. v Don’t bad mouth your partner to other people. v Don’t expect them to read your mind. v Make sure your partner is your best friend, no matter what.

Sunday, October 6, 2019 Sunday, February 2, 2020 Saturday, April 18, 2020 4. Phase Four: Completion of marriage prep process with priest/deacon will: v Discuss with you what you have learned and experienced at your formal marriage preparation program. v Discuss with you your understanding of sacrament in light of your formal marriage preparation. v Discuss with you your responsibilities as members of God’s people, as spouses and future parents. v Complete all documentary requirements. As appropriate, grant permission for mixed marriage and/or apply for appropriate permissions or dispensations. v Discuss the reception of penance and holy Eucharist as a fitting preparation for the sacrament of matrimony. v Finalize the wedding liturgy and discuss the wedding rehearsal. BC

v Instead of finding the “perfect” person, find who’s right for you. v Understand what makes your partner feel loved. v Treat your partner as if they’re the love of your life.

Gratitude Prayer for

Married Couples Dear Lord, Thank you for marriage.

I pray right now that I would always have a heart of thankfulness.

I realize that thankfulness and gratitude fuel joy in my heart!

Help me to be appreciative of my spouse.

I pray that there would be encouraging words on my tongue to share with my spouse.

I am thankful for my spouse’s love, hard work and encouragement.

Holy Spirit, fill my heart with gratitude.

May you help me to be thankful every day in Jesus’ name.

AMEN! PETERSEN PHOTOGRAPHY

60 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

Marriage

How to make marriage work Guest Columnist Carolyn Dupre

Does the couple really make a marriage work? They do, but only by allowing the grace of God to accompany them. Normally marriage occurs when couples are in their 20s. They are blissfully in love and have lofty plans for the future. But, just know, that plans change as we soon found out in our marriage.

I was to work for our first year of marriage while my husband Dennis was to attend his final year at Nicholls to obtain a degree in business administration. The Lord had other plans. We conceived a child after our first month of marriage. Dennis earned his degree and became the father of a bouncing baby girl almost simultaneously. Plans change.

After three children, we both decided that business careers were not for us, so we each took turns returning to Nicholls to major in education. I returned once our youngest began school. Plans change.

As we soon realized, many young couples have very limited income in the early stages of marriage. Our advice is to be frugal in your budgeting.

We remember using powdered milk combined with regular milk to stretch the quantity. Instead of Windex, we used vinegar and water to clean windows. Instead of eating out in restaurants, picnics in the park with the children was fun and economical.

The bottom line is to have a realistic budget that fits your income.

To make a long story short, our children grew up and got married. We

have seven grandchildren, four of them happily married, as well. Our career decisions were the right ones and we ended them with both of us being school principals. After retirement, Dennis became a deacon and has been serving at St. Gregory Church parish in Houma since 2006. We will be married 60 years in 2020.

We would like to share some thoughts on how we have achieved this longevity in marriage. As Dave Meurer stated: “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”

As stated earlier, having God and faith as integral parts of a marriage are of the utmost importance. As every couple soon learns, life and marriage can get messy. Being there for each other as a support is absolutely necessary. Sometimes one partner has to temporarily assume the duties of the other. Each has to be authentic and trustful to the other. Falling in love is easy but it takes work to maintain that loving relationship through many years. You soon find that you are not only husband and wife, but best friends.

Early in our marriage we had a friend who said “we believe in the bell system,” so we learned to call each other to say where we are. We have done that to reveal to each other where we are physically and that has led to the importance of conversation revealing where we are spiritually. We are not afraid to be vulnerable to each other. We tell each other “I love you” several times a day and we mean it!

Responsibilities should be shared.

Common interests are also great for bonding. We enjoy our camp and fishing together as well as having family and friends visit us at our other home on the bayou. Enjoying great meals and singing on the porch brings happy times and memories. Each family should have something that they do together that bonds them and creates

lasting memories. Each partner should remember to balance time between family, work and private prayer time.

Family prayer time is important also as well as attending Sunday Mass together when possible.

A couple should not be totally inseparable. Each should have outside interests, friends and hobbies. This brings “new life” into a marriage relationship as each shares their experiences.

But remember, things change, and there soon comes a time when a married couple goes through the empty nest syndrome. This is an opportunity for a couple to expand their horizons.

However, it is important to still allow each to have their own space at times.

For example, we go on extended silent retreats together and can share our experiences afterward. More traveling becomes an option. Attending weekday Masses or Bible studies is fulfilling.

From the beginning we wanted a marriage that reflects Jesus’ relationship with his church which he calls his spouse. That means he is married to each of us, the members.

We take that to God in prayer and he consistently provides the grace for us to grow from strength to strength to allow a lifetime commitment to love and serve our spouse and others.

Couples must not allow their service to satisfy a “couple ego.” It must be for others in the name of Jesus and done with charity. That is ministry.

We ignore the message of the “culture of death” which commands service to self, which never accepts a person’s lifetime commitment such as the marriage covenant. Marriage and life is an evolution. We just need to be open to God and the needs of each other as times change, but love endures.

(Carolyn Dupre is a lifelong parishioner of St. Gregory Church parish. She and Deacon Dennis will celebrate 60 years of marriage in 2020.) BC

September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 61

Marriage

Catholic and Newly Married: Five challenges and five opportunities

“You have the opportunity to make intimacy and fidelity the hallmark of your marriage. Take that opportunity,” Kathy and Steve Beirne exhort couples in Catholic and Newly Married.

That opportunity is linked with a challenge couples face in the early stages of marriage – the challenge to develop an intimate, faithful marriage, despite all that may stand in the way of doing so in a “consumeroriented culture.”

The Beirnes’ book reflects their experience in Catholic marriage education and ministry. For the newly married, they edit and publish the “Foundations Newsletter for Married Couples.”

This book is all about challenges and opportunities. It outlines five challenges couples will experience as they begin to build their own marriage; it directly relates each challenge to an opportunity flowing from it.

Thus, each challenge, difficult as it may be to handle, is viewed in a positive light because it offers the opportunity for couples to grow in rewarding ways.

One challenge for a new wife and husband is to learn “to speak the same language,” despite their personality differences or tendencies

to misunderstand each other’s words.

This challenge offers the opportunity for couples to improve their communication skills.

It is an opportunity to take steps to assure that a couple’s conversations, even about sensitive matters, are salted through with kindness, respect, attention, love, affirmation and gratitude.

“No matter where you are on the communications scale – from poor to excellent – there is always an opportunity to improve,” the Beirnes advise readers.

Again, there is the often stressful challenge of getting along with inlaws. This challenge offers couples the opportunity to recognize that their in-laws may well become “marriageenriching” resources of support and understanding over time.

It is through their in-laws, not incidentally, that a couple and their children frequently learn their family’s history and how they have been shaped by it.

There is, as well, the challenge of dealing with religious differences.

It bears the opportunity to share a spiritual life in marriage. For most married people, the Beirnes say, the opportunity will be offered to

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“see God’s love and experience God’s forgiveness through their spouse.”

Catholic and Newly Married tells couples that marriage offers many opportunities they “may not be able to get anywhere else.” There is, for example, the opportunity for the spouses to know themselves more deeply. Why? Because marriage offers the “opportunity to receive feedback from someone you know has your best interest at heart.”

Marriage also offers the opportunity “to confide in another, knowing that you will be accepted as you are,” the Beirnes say. This acceptance does not reflect naiveté on the part of a spouse, who indeed “knows your faults” but views you through “eyes of love.”

I am sure that many readers will appreciate the Beirnes’ perceptive, frank focus on the newly married couple’s challenge of learning to merge two different ways of “thinking about, handling and spending money.”

To ignore “financial situations and differences” is to follow “a sure path to trouble,” they state.

Developing clarity about financial goals will play a big role in curbing “impulse spending” in a marriage, the authors hold.

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me in this book, however, is its analysis of the challenge of intimacy.

It is a misunderstanding for couples to think that “closeness” and “intimacy” are synonyms, the authors stress.

After all, it is possible to be close to others without in any way being intimate with them.

Real intimacy entails openness and vulnerability, as well as risk. The risk factor is real enough in marriage, since “if you are rejected by your spouse, the hurt can be immense,” the Beirnes write.

They recount the story one mother told when her son and his wife were

divorcing. He and his wife never became a couple, she felt. “They each had their own friends and their own way of doing things, but never seemed to come together as a real unit.”

Here the Beirnes’ advice to newly married couples is uncompromisingly clear: Don’t be that couple.

One beneficial opportunity related to the challenge of intimacy in marriage involves empathy – the ability on a spouse’s part to experience the other’s joy or pain and to understand profoundly “the meaning and purpose of his or her life.”

A husband and wife, the authors

observe, are offered a great opportunity “to be empathetic with another human being.”

About the reviewer David Gibson is a longtime, now retired, member of the Catholic News Service staff.

Disclaimer: Book reviews do not imply and are not to be used as official endorsement by the USCCB of the work or those associated with the work. Book reviews are solely intended as a resource regarding publications that might be of interest to For Your Marriage visitors. BC

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605 West 3rd St. ~ Thibodaux, LA 70301 ~ 985.446.1144 September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 63

Marriage

Which Catholic (or other) dating website is right for me?

The United States has over 40 million people registered on over 1,500 online dating sites. These numbers are a bit overwhelming, so it is helpful to go over sites that might be most useful to Catholics. There are two basic types: general dating sites that have large numbers of people and those that are specifically Catholic dating sites.

General Dating Sites Match.com typifies a general dating site. You begin by setting up a profile.

Match.com asks a series of questions about you, your interests, lifestyle and background, and values. At the end of the questions, Match.com encourages you to post a picture of yourself to generate greater interest in your profile. Once your profile is set up, you can search by age, interests, zip code, gender or even key words.

This searching ability is necessary as Match.com has more than 20 million users. (It’s already high number of users was increased in 2010 when it absorbed Yahoo! Personals.)

If you worry about being able to sort through these numbers yourself, you can use the Match.com sister site, Chemistry.com. Chemistry.com has you take a personality test and then uses this information to suggest people who would be a good match, ideally for long term relationships. eHarmony is another large dating site, also around 20 million users, and focuses on people who are interested in marital relationships. To set up a profile on eHarmony, you take a personality questionnaire consisting of over 400 questions. Your answers are analyzed by eHarmony’s “patented Compatibility Matching System” that uses personality traits to match individuals. This process eliminates those interested in casual dating and attracts those who are looking for serious relationships. Some believe that this is the reason eHarmony is one

of the few online dating sites that has more women than men. eHarmony’s uniqueness and popularity are reflected in its approximately $50 a month cost.

While there are other general dating sites, Match.com and eHarmony are the most prominent. Other general sites operate in a similar manner but typically have some features that distinguish them from these two goliaths. The best examples include Coffee Meets Bagel, which uses your Facebook profile to find matches and allows women to contact men who have already expressed interest in them. Zoosk also works through Facebook and other social networking sites. These sites have around 10 million users each.

These sites can be useful for Catholics for a number of reasons. First, they provide a large pool of potential matches and they all have a large number of Catholics present on them.

Second, they all have ways of indicating how important your faith is to you and matching you with people based on this characteristic. The limitation is that it’s up to you to indicate how important your faith is and what values you hold most important. You must take the initiative in attending to those whose faith and morals seem compatible. In short, these sites have lots of people and many useful tools for matching, but it’s your responsibility to make your faith a key component of these matches.

Catholic Dating Sites Catholic dating sites have opposite strengths and weaknesses. On the one hand, they make faith and morals central to the process of matching. They facilitate both talking and learning about the faith. Their weakness is that they have smaller numbers of users.

Catholic dating sites all function similarly to the general dating sites

64 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

with profiles, search options, and messaging systems. They supplement helping people find matches by providing articles and advice columns about the Catholic faith. Finally, they all charge around $20 a month, lower if you sign up for six months.

CatholicMatch and CatholicSingles are two of the more prominent sites.

CatholicMatch is run by Acolyte, LLC (whose founder is a Catholic) and is one of the largest dating sites specifically for Catholics. Its perspective is expressed through its seven “Do you agree with the Catholic Church’s teaching on … ” questions that everyone must answer when they set up their profile. (These questions focus on the Eucharist, premarital sex, contraception, life issues, papal infallibility, Mary, and Holy Orders.)

These questions can be answered by agreeing, slightly agreeing, or not agreeing, and the answers are used to find matches. CatholicMatch also runs the CatholicMatch Institute, which features success stories from CatholicMatch couples as well as dating and marriage advice.

CatholicSingles, another large dating site, aims to connect faithful Catholics by focusing on their activities and interests, rather than pictures. Users are asked to provide information on their personality, family background, spending habits, and how often they pray and go to Mass. In addition to answering classic prompts such as “My ideal first date might be,” users on CatholicSingles can add responses to “How religion plays a role in my daily life” and “What being Catholic means to me” to their profiles. Singles can filter for potential matches by age and location. Unlike CatholicMatch, they do not ask questions on whether you agree with church teachings or not.

A third Catholic dating site launched in 2018, CatholicChemistry

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Marriage

promises both a fresh approach to dating and a streamlined interface.

Founder Chuck Gallucci says, “We want CatholicChemistry to be more than a meeting-place for Catholic singles.

Every aspect of the user experience is designed to lead people toward deeper fidelity and appreciation of their faith.”

Like CatholicMatch, the site also asks users’ opinions on church teaching, but allows users to select if they’re unsure, but open to learning more. Once you’ve created a profile, you can filter potential matches by age, location, Mass attendance, liturgy preferences, and answers to faith related questions.

The one site that is slightly different is AveMariaSingles. It focuses on a very specific Catholic audience. The website “pledges to offer a service solely dedicated to helping faithful, practicing Catholics find their future spouse and help them become a better follower of Christ.” The site is for Catholics who are able to marry in the church and are opposed to using contraception. Members have discerned a vocation to sacramental marriage but have not yet found the right person. AveMariaSingles offers a slightly different payment plan: a one-time fee of over $150 that allows permanent access to the site. The result of this approach is a highly active membership that is just over 10,000 people.

While this list of sites is not exhaustive, it should give you a sense of the kind of sites that are available as well as their popularity and usefulness.

BC

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September 2019 • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • Bayou Catholic • 65

Marriage

Resolving differences

By KATHY BEIRNE The Situation We have only been married a short time, and things are going pretty well between us, but something that concerns me is that we don’t really solve problems. One of us raises an issue, we talk about it a little, and then we let it drop.

For instance, I think he watches too much TV. When I complain he says “sorry” and then just goes back to watching sports every night. He thinks I spend too much money on unnecessary things, so I just don’t show him the things I buy any more.

What worries me is that eventually, when we have a real problem we can’t avoid, we won’t know how to deal with it.

Are there any strategies for a couple like us to use?

A Response Your situation is not an uncommon one in early marriage, but you are smart to want to learn some conflict resolution techniques before you have a major dilemma on your hands.

There’s no reason to assume that solving conflicts would come naturally. It’s a skill you learn and then practice, so that you develop “muscle memory,” a response that will come more easily when you are in a conflictual situation.

The first step in bringing up a problem is to start with an appreciation for the other person. In the situation above, you might begin by saying, “I appreciate how hard you work. You really make me feel like our future is secure because you have such a good work ethic.” This is the person you love and chose to marry so surely there is something in the situation that you appreciate or admire. Then move on to your view of the current situation. “I know when you come in you want to relax, but when you watch sports all evening I feel like there’s no time for us.”

The next step is for the other person to make sure they have heard their partner’s concern correctly. In this example your husband might say, “So you feel like I’m watching too much TV?” This may or may not be what you were saying. You might be objecting to watching too much TV, or you might be saying TV is okay, but let’s watch something other than sports. It’s important for both people to know that they are addressing the same concern.

If he doesn’t have it right, then tell him. Say, “No, that’s not it. I just don’t know much about football or hockey, so I can’t share with you when that’s what you’re watching. We could watch a game show together, or a mystery, or a movie at least some of the time. I like all those things.”

Once he understands what your concern is, then you can work to find a compromise. One night, your husband might watch the game; the next, the two of you can watch a movie of your choosing.

The same approach would work with a spouse who spends too much. He expresses his appreciation (“I appreciate that you want our home to look attractive”) and raises his concern about the family budget. She lets him know she’s heard his 66 • Bayou Catholic • Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux • September 2019

concern. Finally, they reach a compromise. There are many different solutions. The right one is the one that feels fair and comfortable to the two of you.

Sometimes, though, the conflict is about something one person did that is wrong; it’s not just a difference of opinion.

If she ran up the credit card debt, if he got a speeding ticket and had his license suspended–those situations would be harder to deal with.

That kind of conflict requires one person to apologize, which is another habit worth cultivating. Apologizing is not the casual “sorry” that doesn’t have any real contrition behind it. A real apology is an admission that something has happened to offend the other person. It means taking responsibility for one’s action and making a plan to see that it will not happen again. Apologizing comes as a result of a conversation that allows the injured party to express how hurtful the incident was. These are not easy conversations, but they do allow the air to be cleared.

The other side of apologizing is forgiving. When an honest conversation has taken place, and one person has truly apologized, the onus is on the other person to offer forgiveness. Saying “I forgive you” and meaning it is every bit as important as saying “I’m sorry” and meaning it. Marriage Encounter has an expression, “No Museum Keeping,” which means that if an offense has been forgiven, it is wiped off the record and cannot be brought up again. That doesn’t mean that if a similar issue comes up it can’t be addressed again. It just means that the prior offense cannot be revisited.

Big conflicts don’t come along frequently in most marriages.

Small ones happen all the time, so these new skills can be practiced on the little differences that might otherwise get swept under the rug. Then when the best tools are needed, they will be clean, sharpened, and ready for use.

About the author Kathy Beirne is the editor of Foundations Newsletter for Newly Married Couples. She lives in Portland, ME, and has a master’s degree in Child and Family Development. BC

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