2. Establishing Contact with a Biological Family

2. Establishing Contact with a Biological Family

2.1 How is a biological family contacted?

Pro-Búsqueda tells the news of kinship to families in El Salvador in person; Pro-Búsqueda conveys this news by telephone in the case of a family or person found living outside of El Salvador. A home visit allows staff at Pro-Búsqueda to explain the situation better and gauge the response of family members.

In general, family members in El Salvador have received the news of the identification of their disappeared child with elation; however, in instances where the family is skeptical and in disbelief, having a face-toface conversation allows staff to provide the birth family with as much information about the adoptee as possible. Sharing specific information such as the age, adoptive name of the adoptee, country of residence, and the search process is important. When the news is shared over the phone, it is important to ask questions that allow the family member to share his/her feelings and thoughts.

2.2 What are the most frequent challenges when contacting a biological family?

In cases where the kinship search has been initiated by the adoptee, communicating news of kinship to the family has presented fewer challenges. Some issues that may arise involve disbelief and who holds the power of decision-making.

Like adoptees and their adoptive parents, sometimes birth families have a difficult time believing that a disappeared person is looking for them. This may occur when the birth parents of the disappeared person have died and surviving relatives do not know about the existence of the disappeared person. During the war many Salvadoran families were forced to separate and relocate in different parts of the country. This caused family members to lose track of one another and be uninformed about new births as well as about disappearances of family members.

When Pro-Búsqueda contacts the only surviving relative of the disappeared person—an uncle, for example —and lets him know that his nephew is looking for him, the uncle ’ s initial reaction may be one of disbelief because, first, he did not know his sister survived the war and, second, he did not know his sister had a son. In such cases, taking a DNA sample from the uncle to determine kinship is the best mechanism to address the uncle ’ s skepticism. While the DNA results are being obtained, Pro-Búsqueda provides psychosocial support to the uncle and the adoptee (see Chapter VI).

Another challenge that occurs is about who holds the power of decision-making. Sometimes family members want an immediate family reunion that includes large numbers of relatives while adoptees want to move at a slower pace and meet immediate family members first and less immediate family members later. According to evolving theories on open adoptions, the adoptee holds the power of decision-making (with ample room for discussion and compromise, of course) and, in general, we have urged consistency with this principle.