Class Prophecy

BJI DAVID G. STANDART

January 12, 1950.

WHEN I was asked to attend a meeting of the newly organized expedition for the st udy and investigation of the planet Mars, in the Demonstration Hall of the Ford Airport , on January 20th, I was exceedin g l y taken by surprise. I just cou ldn 't think of myself as being connected in a ny way with this gigantic enterprise, one of the greatest and mo st exte n sive of its kind. You can ima gine my feelings when I discovered t h e director to be Charles Walter Williams, t he noted sc ienti s t and past president of the Smith s onian Institute. He introduced me to the eminent sociologist Gordon Paine, w ho had co m e into wo rld -w ide promine nc e for hi s brilli ant and profound st udi es of ccrt:iin ob sc ur e traits of the clement Next, I found a Ii ttle old man behind thickly lensed g l asses, who upon examination turned out to be none other than Lann Neville, an investigator of extratenacit y of purpo se w ho had come from the Universit y of Heidelberg for iust this purpose.

The told me t hat the meetin g wou ld be called to order as soon as Hubert Bates, t he finan cia l back er of the Old Transport Planes, Inc., appeared. It seemed that th is particular t y pe of machine was to be used on the expeditio n , a fact w hi ch made me vaguely nervous because I had been informed by good authority that it wa s a wildcat organization. Never before had I connected it up with the smilin g, rotund face of Johnnie Old, as ic now beamed at me across the polished table s

We had not been talking long before the door burst open unceremoniousl y a nd the obese banker whom scandal had connected with the great Philippine- Japan sale waddled in and, puffing with exertion, crushed out an expensive cigar as he sank into a chair and banged for order with a pudgy fist.

Shortly it was revealed co me chat chis expedition was purely for the experimental purpose of proving or denying, authoritatively, certain of the recent theories hazarded by one Bradley who seemed co be interested in volcanic origins. The members of the expedition would be scientists, mechanics, and ocher men who were specialists in their fields. A member of che World Church of Christ, the Most and Very Right Reverend Leonard White, would be the spiritual guide and might also be counted on to establish a few new missionary centers, regard less of che present creed of the Martians.

As for my part, the staff wished me to accompany chem as their radio-television expert. Having studied this extensively, and realizing at the same time its tremendous practicability, I had two years before put on the market the extremely compact and serviceable "Standart Radio-Television Set." My work was co keep the expedition in contact with the world, no small contract-for I would have co spend many hours contriving new amplifying apparatus to make my set suitable for the purpose.

Neville's work was to keep us supplied with his synthetic food in gelatin form, put up in large capsules. Each unit has the nourishing value of 180 Shredded Wheat biscuits. By availing ourselves of the discovery we could easily carry a year's supply in a snuff box.

Mr. Neville said chat Mr. Lehman would probably go on the expedition. He had been asked to go but was so busy in his chemistry laboratory that he hadn't replied to the invitation as yet. Also Mr. Graver, now the country's best astronomer, had accepted an invitation co go with the expedition and would soon be in Detroit from which point the trip was to be scarred.

This about completed the meeting except a few arrangements which were being discussed and which must be completed in order co provide for Mr. Graver's apparatus. This was co go wich che expedition in order to make certain important observations when we reached Mars. After this discussion was finished, the meeting came to an end and we all took a large taxi-plane to the cop of che Aero Hotel where we ordered a table for six. As soon as we were comfortably seated we naturally began to question each other. In this way I found out from Mr. Paine that McKenzie was the artist and mechanical draftsman for the Old Transport Plane Co. Lord Bishop White told me chat while he was in New York he had an opportunity to listen co the new symphony orchestra which was brought together and organized by Mr. Baldwin, Mr. Barber, Mr. Merton, and che now famous trumpeter, Mr. Putney; all of whom had climbed high in che musical world. This brought to my mind that Mr. Warren, better known as Bud Warren, now had his own orchestra Also, chat while trave ling through the West, I had met Vanc e Dixon, now commander-in-chief of the U.S. Airport No. 3. This was a very great honor, as there were only ten main U. S. Airports, by a newly arranged system, and each of these main airports had in tum, one hundred others under their Sltp ervision. fo ll owi n g thi s we all s hook hands and said goodnight, not to meet again until s.iturday wh en Mr. Graver and Mr. Lehman would be present. f w ill not bor e the reader with the res ult s of the expedition, but wi ll pause to s.iY t h at it pro v ed a ver y great mccess and that I would have made a grave mistake no t t o hav e attended the meeting described. Furt hermo re, I would not have learne d ho w compl et ely successfu l have become the members of good old 1928.

After we had eaten and were about to have our coffee and cigarets, two telegrams were brought to our table and handed to Mr. Williams. After he had read them he told us that Mr. Graver would arrive the next day, which was Thursda y, and that Mr. Lehman had glad ly accepted his invitation and wo uld be in Detroit Saturday. This started the conversation again and I asked Mr. Paine what had become of Mr. Summers and he told me that he was now a retired gentleman, ha ving early in the game made a fortune on several lots of Cleveland real estate upon which large hotels were built. I told him that my roommate of '28, Chuck Tredick, was a successful Civil Engineer in Peru, and that Mr. McCleary of Detroit, had opened a promising career in his Television Theatres.

I don't really believe any of us knew how lon g we stayed at the table, but as the music was good and the li ghts were dim, we stayed on with no thought of leaving and in the course of eve nts, I learned of the whereabouts and progress of the crew of '28.

Mr. Renz of Chicago, Detroit, Lima, Ohio and points east was now sole owner and multimillionaire of the Renz Bakeries, having discovered the art of making bread without flour.

Mr. Carver is the big efficiency expert of the West, now absorbed in wave control on the Pacific ocean. Of course, you have a ll read and heard of Mr. Gi ll is' articles and know of the renowned fame he has gained as owner and editor of the Chicago Tribune.

Mr. Ross, who now lives a few hour's ride from here, in Ca liforni a, is our most popular theatrical man and has just scored a big success in his latest play called the "Crabbing Cocoo."

Mr. Neville informed us that Mr. Stewart was devoting a lif etime abroad to a study of horses, now nearly extinct, and h e also told us an interesting tale that he read in the Atlantic Monthly about Mr. Clark, who made a fortune on some supposed l y wort hl ess stock that he acquired through the brokers of Hottensen & Company, at a bargain price.

It is a lso known chat Mr. Deligiannis, Hottensen's roommate of '28, is now a noted crimi11al lawyer; he decided to take up this profession after observing the actions of severa l of hi s classmates who seemed in need of such professional services.

The Last heard of Nafe Boyer was that he was wandering in Zululand. He never had been satisfied to stay in any one place lon g, and for years had been connected with exploring expeditions of the National Geographic Society.

Conversation began to lag a bit about this time and since we thought we had accounted for all of our classmates, we decided to go out into the lobb y and examine the news of the day, given to us by the television radio. We hadn't been in the lobb y long when w ho shou ld appear on the screen but Roland G. Lett, the broadcaster of the lately estab li sh ed station WFAN, of Foreign and American new s. He told us that he would reproduce the fight pictures of the Red Lewis-McNally fight, in w hi c h Red Lewis lo st his crown after holding it high for twelve years. But w hen we saw the pictures, and when Mr. Lett exp lain ed that Red Lewis was not the fighter's real name, we knew at once that it was Frank Jenkins of '28. Mr.

J.ctt gave us another s urprise when he showed us a picture of Cue-ball Edwards who was c hall en g in g the present c h ampion of 1.8 balkine billiards, Jake Shaffer's son.

Class Poem

By FRANK JENKINS

ALDENDIFER

Bill is a boy who is good on the track, He meets his opponents coming back. Over the 5.5 bar he skimsIf you doubt it- just ask him.

BARBER

A quiet lad who couldn't stay home, A fact we're glad to see.

'Cause he's a bear on the slide trombone; In the band and orchestree.

BALDWIN

Nea l y Baldwin is his nameHe says he'll go to sea Now, I cons id er that a shame. With me you'll sure agree.

BATES

You hear him at night As he coos like a dove. The reason for this? Oh! I guess he's in l ove.

BOYER

Boy I I sure am here to tell, Dirk's a lad we all know well, And we rate him as a man Because his motto is "I can!"

C ARVER

Sergeant Carver came to us Bound, at least, to try. He killed hi s stud ies rig h t and left. That's why we ca ll him Dye.

CLARK, J.

C lark is ne w to us this year, And he's enti tl ed to a cheer. Good in hi s work, and ne ver frets, He's certa inl y one of our model cadets.

DELIGIANNIS, L.

His name, "ha lf pint," is sma ll enoughIn body, he's a midget. But on the field he sure is roughHis strength, yo u can not bud ge i c.

DIXON

Captain Dixon, from the south, A brawny man is he. And in his college games to come Ohl what a wow he'll be.

EDWARDS

Ohl why, Oh! why, did I leave my home Where I was so happy and free?

Oh! why did I l eave the girls and the gang So Howe'd make a man out of me?

GILLIS

This cadet is up and doingAlways ha s a job on hand. Doesn't sec the use of stewingPlugs along to beat the band.

GRAVER

And who, oh! who, is GraverThe worry of all cadets. His calls are louder , braver, Than any that Gabriel gets.

HOTTEN SEN

He is proper, neat and hand some. He is proper, wide and tall. If yo u should want a job done, Just give this lad a call.

JENKINS, F.

Now, there's a cadet named Jenkins Blondes, poetry, fights adores. To Byron h e's been lik ened As over his works he pores.

LEHMAN

I pity the gir ls w ho don't know youIt's their hard luck, I'JI say! But if they did they'd beau you Forever and a day.

LETT

At the l1ead of the column he walks, And he walks in a lordly way. He gives you the jumps when he talks, In a voice that is almost a bray.

McKENZIE

There is one among our number With a tall and graceful mien. All his high ideals slumber When a pretty femme is seen.

MERTON

Do y ou see that chubby tubby Tearing down the football field? When he starts-say, look out! buddy. Something surely has to y ield.

NEVILLE

Neville, Neville, what the de vil! Can the matter be?

Don't you think that you should have At least a capta in cy?

OLD

Bli zzar ds , ice - jams , snow, and cold Are meat and drink to some. Espec ially when the name is Old And from the Soo they come.

PAINE

Gordon B. Paine (the B for bright) I s every teacher's gra nd delight. The college board s he ' ll surel y pass For he usuall y ranks the senior class.

PUTNEY

Bill ca me to us an d made a nameHe li ve d by the Golden Rule. That's how he got hi s present fame Up there at the Lower School.

RENZ

Renz is far from a Lima bean Though in Lima he has been. Military tactics; strategy Are ju st du ck so up for suc h as h e.

ROSS, D.

A yo ung and tender hearted lndHe comes from a wicked town. But he'll he a goo d citizen And vote the vices down.

STANDART

Standart's a master mechanicMachinery he throws in a panic. Electrical fixtures and queer sorts of mixturesHis output is simply Titanic.

STEWART

Two years passed since Stewart came-Though others change, he's just the same. For what he's done, he's not to blame Yet, all in all, he's left a name.

SUMMERS

Summers, the ideal officerHe hails from Cleveland town. His favorite words, well known to us, Stick the big boy down.

TREDICK

Tredick is a hard, hard worker, His knowledge is certainly deepPerhaps that's the reason For his walking in his sleep .

WARREN

This fellow hails from Green Bay And the gang all call him Bud. I'm willing to bet a dollar This poem's clear as mud.

WHITE, L. Who's White?

I'll bite. All right? Not quite.

WILLIAMS

Williams to Science

Shows such sweet comp li ance, They go hand i11 handOh ! isn't li fe grand.