There is Something Beautiful About Pain

by Sophia Singa

There is something beautiful about pain. It tosses and turns your insides until they are destroyed, but somehow, it liberates you.

It shows you hell, but instead of running, you let your feet scorch. it gives you a numbing paralysis, yet you absorb it. It names every second, “impossible, pointless, stupid, worthless, absurd,” and you believe it. You find yourself walking in a world of misery, only to discover that you created it; you gave a home to your burdens. You fed them, watered them, and gave them sunlight. night and day, you tended them.

You busied yourself so much that you forgot to take care of yourself. Your meadow of burdens were only blossoming, while your garden, a key turn away from your heart, full of bleeding stars and the magical glow of the moon, constellations that veiled mysteries, peonies and tulips that smelled of honeysuckle, and glass windows to draw in neverending beauty, was now cocooned in weeds and thorns. dulled in shock, you left it in unattended shambles, until you could not recognize your garden anymore. it became a foreign language.

You laid awake at midnight, with a million thoughts rushing through your head. you once shrunk under the blankets when you were told ghost stories, screamed your eyes shut when blood was drawn in movies, and squealed when a character kissed their crush whilst reading. You could not help but ask, “what happened?” You found scars and bruises blemishing your body, your stomach growling, and your eyes sagging. You were no longer in awe of the stars, the sun, or the moon, like you once were when you were ten and your closest companion was the comfort of infinity. Now, the vastness of the unknown scared you more than any other thought.

It became so unbearable, that all you could do was let it wash over you. you closed your eyes, wanting to become blind to the thunder. but, every day that you hid, the world called your name, yearning to see you again.

Eventually, the cacophony broke your silence. You opened your eyes, only to see that everything had changed. It was not perfect, or all you had been searching for. but, it was different.

Funny, how it all seems to end in a cliche. We end up getting our happy ever after. But, we are too willing to let ourselves become enveloped in pain to notice it. To notice that it is not the world that is changing, but us. We are opening up, slowly accepting the love we deserve, and wearing our heart out on our sleeve. We do not hide from others out of fear of heart break; we ache to take the risk, and experience life in its truest forms. We learn to live for what makes us feel like we are on top of the world. and, it is all because we were patient through the pain.

It is time for a new adventure.